this post was submitted on
459 points (58% like it)
1,659 up votes 1,200 down votes

WTF

subscribe1,942,714 readers

7,329 users here now

New Rules:

  • No screenshots (e.g. Facebook, Youtube)
  • No memes (or posters)
  • No rage comics
  • No politics / posts with political implications - Includes Activism, Call for public outcry etc.
  • No re-hosted web comics
  • No begging for upvotes
  • No links to reddit
  • Personal information is not allowed and will be removed, repeat offenders banned
  • Links to facebook are not allowed
  • NSFW posts must be tagged or will be removed.
  • Gore and Porn are not by default WTF, consider posting the more extreme stuff to /r/spacedicks

All (& only) things that make you say WTF. The moderators of /r/WTF reserve the right to moderate posts for not being WTF and would be more appropriate in more relevant subreddits.


Thanks to licenseplate for the excellent logo & thanks to humansmartbomb for the previous logo


Please DO NOT post personal information

Such posts or comments will be removed and offenders may be banned. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


Shout Outs:

/r/weird

/r/creepy

/r/creepy_gif

/r/offbeat

/r/WTFart

/r/NSFW_WTF

/r/sfw_wtf

/r/BugWars

/r/awesome

/r/toosoon

New: /r/mildlyinteresting

New: /r/FanTheories

New: /r/tifu


Exceptions to the rules can be granted by the moderators; The moderators of /r/WTF reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 134 comments

[–]TripperDay 127 points128 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't want this guy touching me or watching me JO, but I really want to stomp on his trains like I'm a monster.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Ace1999 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If I lived in Philly I'd reply just for the free crab meat.

[–]ScottCarmichael 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This HAS to be the premise for a new episode of It's Always Sunny...

(Dude sorta looks like Frank...)

[–]Vintagejosh 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

With those greasy sausage fingers slip sliding all over my junk, if it was Frank I would meet him under the bridge.

[–]wolfsweatshirt 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This was my first thought too! I feel like Charlie would get psyched about free imitation crab meat. Especially if he found it under a bridge.

[–]profnutbutter -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well this has been on the net for years so they've had time to work out a show around this.

[–]mrTlicious 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Imitation crab meat

[–]shuddleston919 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I would too... if it wasn't imitation crabmeat. Damn my high standards.

[–]pussyfooting 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't worry. He's not gay.

[–]dasqoot 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am surprised at how quickly I understood what "jo" meant as soon as it was capitalized. I thought "jo in" was just "join" with an incorrect space and nothing weird was going on here, besides unfortunate hairy-old-guy-self-shot.

[–]mMelatonin 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just don't break them- they are his son's after all.

[–]SelectaRx 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What the actual fuck? I've seen this a bunch of times before but never picked up on how creeped out that is. He wants someone to come jack off all over his kids toys. O_O

[–]vacerious 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm just in it for the crab.

[–]Wormhog -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's a euphemism.

[–]SpacedAlien 74 points75 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not gay, I just like to jerk off with other dudes.

[–]raging_asshole 51 points52 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's fucking incredible how much this sentiment appears on the internet.

[–]SgtFish 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wait, that was serious?..

[–]drakeypoo 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Likely. It's incredible how many dudes you'll see on xtube, for instance, listed as "straight" or "bi-curious" and they have hundreds of faves of nothing but cocks and gay sex.

It's sad, really.

(really hoping I didn't get wooshed here)

[–]rapolas 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NO HOMO!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember when I was in 7th/8th grade there were a group of guys that actually jerked off together and "had a race" to see who could finish first. But no homo

[–]PresidentJonStewart 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not gay unless your tips touch.

[–]LinkBalls 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's balls, you idiot. It's not gay unless balls touch (with provided evidence).

[–]PresidentJonStewart 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my god, I've been living a lie.

[–]Dead_Rooster 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gay!

[–]Dead_Rooster 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gay!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I could have been touching tips this whole time!

[–]angrylawyer 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that's why whenever I have my cock buried in some dude's ass I always make sure to cup my balls so they don't touch his...otherwise it'd be gay.

[–]stay_black 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Even if balls touch, it's not gay in a 3-way. Honey is there to give some leanway.

[–]ujewbot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You NEVER make them touch!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

B/C your dick tastes like shit...

[–]hiddenthunder 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This was from SomethingAwful's "JO Buds" series of Craigslist ads 3 years ago.

[–]johndrums82 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I haven't seen that in years.

[–]Jonesty 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

my favorite was the Tiger Woods one

[–]JEANDEPETAIN 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Doesn't look like HO scale in the pic.

[–]rounding_error 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Looks like O gauge tinplate to me. Any model railroader who has more than a train around the Christmas tree knows what scale his trains are. I call shenanigans.

[–]knowwhatimsayin 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's no Swayzeeepress!

[–]gliscameria 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mustard Tiger!

[–]VWSpeedRacer 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I agree with your "O" assessment, but to be fair, he did say they were his son's, so he probably doesn't know or care...

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]buckykat 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

reddit's quite a place.

[–]JEANDEPETAIN 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My father's fault - train nerd

[–]maasedge 5 points6 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Looks like "O" gauge to me.

[–]SelectaRx 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At any rate, I'm not showing this guy my "O" guage, if you catch my drift.

[–]b0b 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually, I think it's S gauge. Definitely not HO.

[–]c25375 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

it's three rails--the only S gauge to ever have three rails was in fact S scale, was American Flyer, and in fact was S scaled trains on O gauge three rail track.

[–]b0b 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Definitely not HO in either case.

[–]ADHDSloth 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hmm I'm 24 and live in the philly area. Should I go?

[–]fingers 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This guy is probably either dead or in a nursing home by now. This ad has been circulating since the 1900s.

[–]Honey_Cheese 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm pretty sure he said age 25-70. Sorry bro...

[–]ADHDSloth 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damnit

[–]duck1123 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

patience. The imitation crab meat will still be waiting for you.

[–]magister0 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No because it's fake

[–]TuctDape 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you have a time machine?

[–]ADHDSloth 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea but it only takes me to the future.

[–]TuctDape 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So just circle around, like they did in Futurama

[–]bl4ckb4dg3r5 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so old.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Make sure you bring your JO crystal (not gay)

[–]torridzone 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

is this a reddit WTF best of? old post is old.

[–]Mannex 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this originated in FYAD

[–]MisterSquirrel 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is just a win-win situation all around.

[–]bnc22 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not gay if you don't make eye contact!

[–]petitepoupee 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not gay in a three-way!

[–]Annieone23 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not gay on a model railway!

[–]megustamaryjane 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know why but I kind of feel sorry for him.

[–]Cvantez 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel similarly. Maybe it's just because I've spent too much time on 4chan, but I think people like this are sweet in a very odd and socially unacceptable way.

[–]cumdogbillionaire 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So Reddit is reposting years old Something Awful jokes now?

[–]phuneralphreak 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dude that's so fucking gay, HO scale is for faggots.

[–]fuzzrocket02 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He's actually a really cool guy

[–]sketerpot 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He seems pretty friendly and mellow. I hope he found someone to jerk off for him, stomp on his trains, and take some artificial crab meat off his hands.

[–]FrostWalkers 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dare i ask what "Jo" means? I don't think i would want to "Jo" with a guy that looks just like my grandfather.

Maybe now i should call my grandfather up and see if he has a lot of imitation crab meat in his freezer because i'm scared that he posted that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

it sure ain't "juice oranges". boy was my face red!

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]BarbieDreamHearse 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yep. This is a sizeable part of the CL community. Here are a few more. (no homo)

[–]fritzcharleston 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What? What is CL? Enough abbreviations!

[–]KopOut 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Craig's List

[–]fritzcharleston 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Good. I thought it was for Cold Lipton. Don't get me wrong, I love tea, but I rarely JO because of it.

[–]KopOut 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NP. IARJOBOT.

[–]seanbyram 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No problem. I also rarely jack off because of tea.

For the lazy.

[–]wic99 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How the hell did you figure that out?

[–]seanbyram 0 points1 point ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like puzzles and games. And I tend to be good at them. Honestly though, with context I don't think it was all that hard, even if you're not cryptally inclined.

[–]KopOut 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

YAC

[–]Matika7 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are cool :)

[–]Axana 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This link was hilarious. Thank you!

[–]Wifflepig 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pray tell, what's "HO", then, as well?

[–]frunobulax 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Half O.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not gay, I just want penis.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll never tire of Craig's List JO ads.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]honkish 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Really wish I hadn't read any of this. Sometimes being dumb has it's advantages.

[–]Matika7 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ignorance is bliss my friend

[–]shuddleston919 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have seen it glow white while jerking it...

ummm... (feels no need to comment)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That means it's working, duh!

[–]foodpornclub 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The stomping on the toy trains part reminded me of "lullaby" by Palahniuk

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is from a frontpage series on Something Awful a few years back.

[–]Agent9262 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.

[–]sandandpomp 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't think I can vomit enough to purge imitation crab meat and jerking off in front of a man who abbreviates jerking off from my mind.

[–]cmlow 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He's obviously not gay-it's HO scale, dude!

[–]Mannex 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

let's go chase a tornado and JO into the vortex

[–]Mastadhan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The things I have learned here can never be unlearned, nor can what I've seen be unseen. They will haunt me forever.

[–]weird-oh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tempting. But my needs are more G scale...

[–]weird-oh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're all gonna feel pretty silly if "Jo" turns out to be a hot redheaded...guy. OK, maybe not.

[–]honkish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why do I think that he's a Philly area Republican politician?

[–]Xshredder01X 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can imagine a terrible SitCom where the characters desperately need imitation crab meat and this is the only way they see to get it...

[–]wayndom 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was going to go for it, until I read, "its all HO scale," and I realized he was talking about his wiener...

[–]Death_By_Jazz_Hands 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What the ass.

[–]illRooster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yup... I live in a weird city..

[–]Animal89 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dafuq

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What is this I don't even

[–]bubblescivic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WTF?

[–]kevinwoodward 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wat.

[–]CapnHat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so fucking old it was on Tosh.O.

I can't count the times I've seen this.

[–]iDriveway 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm glad I got out of that city when I did...

[–]Genera1dea 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

incredible

[–]AllDesperadoStation 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

don't break they are my sons

[–]tetzy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He'd cum if I mentioned my Godzilla suit.

[–]Wormhog 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Was not expecting this. Ever.

[–]capnjack78 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Classic.

[–]bloodguard 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Who else thinks the "imitation crab meat" is the diced corpse of the previous craigslist responder?

[–]flyingcarsnow 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

IAMA request - craigslist train guy

[–]weird-oh -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're all gonna feel pretty silly if "Jo" turns out to be a hot redheaded...guy. OK, maybe not.

[–]TheBroconnor -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is what the WTF subreddit is for.

[–]bakuretsu -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maybe if you're lucky he'll show you his "H-O" face.

Get it? "H-O! H-O! H-O!"