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all 166 comments

[–]Anomander 133 points134 points ago

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Groan.

Well played.

[–]formerteenager[S] 62 points63 points ago

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Dude, I know...I'm not a proud man.

[–]JLow1864 18 points19 points ago

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Be proud, I wish I had a puppy running around my place (unless that dog is fully grown, then we need to talk)

[–]formerteenager[S] 55 points56 points ago

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No man, I just typed "dog with paper towels" into Google, opened it in paint and wrote the caption. I don't even own a cute dog!

[–]JLow1864 28 points29 points ago

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Ah...well I'll consult a team of scientist to determine if you should have pride.

[–]peon47 29 points30 points ago

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The results are back... they don't look good.

[–]grabmyeye 22 points23 points ago

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The results are good. They don't look back.

[–]Dave_Hulud 7 points8 points ago

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The backs are good. They don't even care about results?

[–]dudeguy1234 1 point2 points ago

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[–]gospelwut 1 point2 points ago

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Our calculations based on an opposing-scale-metric of shame indicate a 4.574.

[–]JLow1864 3 points4 points ago

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Gentlemen, should we round up to spare this poor man's soul the embarrassment?

[–]gospelwut 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sorry Jim. We lost him.

[–]tscharf 2 points3 points ago

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You put a lot of work into a candidate for the worst joke on the internet. Well, more work than any sane person would have. Have an upvote.

[–]crapplegate 1 point2 points ago

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I love bad puns. You brought a smile to my face!

[–]formerteenager[S] 0 points1 point ago

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And I love being appreciated. Thanks!

[–]Kryptus 0 points1 point ago

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You could have also maid a Kotch brothers reference and got some political karma...

[–]palaxi 0 points1 point ago

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Was looking for the sunburned redneck with bad hair and leather skin.

[–]ElectricWizard42 -1 points0 points ago

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Lol that's what I was going to comment haha

[–]MartialFur 67 points68 points ago

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What a Charmin little guy.

[–]xizorkatarn 41 points42 points ago

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Great Scott! You're right!

[–]inspectHERgadget 22 points23 points ago

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He's cute but I prefer a dog that is more Brawny.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BitBrain 17 points18 points ago

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We're on a roll now.

[–]cisthej 6 points7 points ago

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Viva la puppy

[–]AirwickS 2 points3 points ago

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Completely absorbed by these puns

[–]stopthepunthread 5 points6 points ago

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Do you see what you started?

[–]Iwasthewalrus 47 points48 points ago

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THAT IS THE CUTEST MOTHER FUCKING CREATURE EVER OH MY GOD

[–]sirisaacnuton 10 points11 points ago

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It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!

[–]fleezie 7 points8 points ago

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Unless you've got a bounty on your head ...

[–]Iwasthewalrus 14 points15 points ago

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THEN HIS CUTENESS WILL BECOME DEADLY

[–]benjgvps 5 points6 points ago

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As long as it doesn't sound like a seagull going feet-first through a paper shredder, it's the cutest dog in the world.

[–]Lunchable_ 4 points5 points ago

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GIZMO

[–]BezerkMushroom 0 points1 point ago

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HAHAHA I know, as soon as I saw that I instantly had that line from Despicable Me in my head going "IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" XD

[–]mistabigshott -2 points-1 points ago

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He'll never find me here! http://wp.me/p1ODXd-1x

[–]zzexclamationmark 80 points81 points ago

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For those who don't understand, Bounty is a brand of kitchen roll (tissue paper) here in the UK.

And that's a dog.

[–]LilDrumrGrl 105 points106 points ago

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You guys have Bounty in the UK? We have it here in the US! We should be Bounty-Buddies.

[–]zzexclamationmark 41 points42 points ago

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Oh, I had no idea it was sold in the US! I assumed it was just a British thing. My apologies to anyone I may have condescended.

And it recently changed its name (at least, over here) to Plenty.

So yes, we should be Bounty Buddies, and we should have Plenty more. Badoom-tss.

[–]LilDrumrGrl 26 points27 points ago

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We have Plenty too! It's great! Inexpensive, soft, and absorbent! Why am I so excited?

No condescension taken. Usually when someone has to clarify something like this it is because there really is a difference, so when I saw that someone from the UK was informing others what Bounty was I thought it was... well at least somewhat interesting. Talk to you later, Plenty-Pal.

[–]bacon_cake 16 points17 points ago

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D'awwwwwwwwww You guys! >.<

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The quilted, quicker picker upper... Bounty!

[–]propaglandist 0 points1 point ago

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My apologies to anyone I may have condescended.

I think you'll find it's 'condescended to'. It's what we call a transitive verb.

[–]naruttebayo 20 points21 points ago

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Although in the US we call it paper towel, I've never heard anyone here refer to it as kitchen roll.

[–]elliottblackwood 9 points10 points ago

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AKA nappy naps or spillmates in the UK.

[–]utterpedant 8 points9 points ago

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Better known in the UK as thirsters, puddlequenchers, drinkle pappyswipers, pack spillblotters, or kitch rollo soak-'em o'nannies.

[–]Kelvara 11 points12 points ago

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You could be serious and I would never know.

[–]utterpedant 11 points12 points ago

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"Phwoarr, afraid tea's just gone turvy on me nan's thickie threader! Nip down corner veg and gessa pack kitch rollo soak-'em o'nannies, love, else I'm blagged as a kipper!"
~typical UK conversation

[–]dietotaku 1 point2 points ago

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STOMACH HURTING

FACE LEAKING

WELL PLAYED

[–]Se7en_Sinner 2 points3 points ago

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Face leaking? Grab some drinkle pappyswipers and clean it up.

[–]TheBakedPotato 0 points1 point ago

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Incidentally, those are all also slang for vagina.

[–]iamrory 0 points1 point ago

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I'm really digging 'puddlequencher'. Thanks for that.

[–]ppc127 1 point2 points ago

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lol, upvote for being a sarcastic bastard.

[–]orange_jooze 5 points6 points ago

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I thought it's a chocolate bar.

[–]01clinte01 3 points4 points ago

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Also sold in Germany.

[–]Vole85 2 points3 points ago

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It was rebranded as "plenty", wasn't it?

[–]wildworldofbatwoman 5 points6 points ago*

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I stand corrected, they own Brawny, not Bounty! Thank you, Kaptinkracker.

[–]kaptinkracker 2 points3 points ago

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No they own Brawny. Here's the whole list.

[–]onionhammer 2 points3 points ago

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Yep, don't buy anything with this logo on it, people.

Or do, if you want to give money to the Koch brothers.

[–]fofgrel 1 point2 points ago

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Who are the Koch brothers and why should I boycott them?

[–]fuckyouandrewsmith 3 points4 points ago

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Do you think global warming is a global socialist/scientist conspiracy to destroy capitalism? If so, then you shouldn't boycott them. If you think it's a real problem that needs to be addressed, then you ought to consider boycotting them. A fraction of every dollar you spend on Koch products goes to making sure that nothing is ever done to limit carbon emissions, along with other noble pursuits such as eliminating union rights, social programs, and democracy. I'd link to the Bloomberg article, but someone beat me to it.

[–]onionhammer 1 point2 points ago

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[–]perogy_nightmare 9 points10 points ago

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Don't get it wet, feed it after midnight or expose it to direct sunlight.

[–]fofgrel 4 points5 points ago

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Got it - Don't get it wet. Feed it after midnight. And make sure it gets sunlight.

[–]FormerSlacker 6 points7 points ago

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"Go with Christ, bra."

[–]sarukada 13 points14 points ago

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Sure hope A&E is cool with this unlicensed media - it might be a stain on his reputation.

[–]IIdsandsII 6 points7 points ago

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Why don't we ask A&E? Hey A&E, sarukada says this might be a strain on your reputation. I think that's silly since A&E can't be a he, but then again sarukada was actually referring to Dog, so WTF am I talking about again?

[–]formerteenager[S] 9 points10 points ago

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[7]

[–]IIdsandsII 3 points4 points ago

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Usually when I get a [#] in response to something I said, it comes with many downvotes.

[–]sarukada 3 points4 points ago

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Shorten introduction in attempt to get to bad pun quicker

Get called out on subject disagreement

:(

[–]IIdsandsII 2 points3 points ago

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I'm just being a 'tard. I think the hyphen made it work better. Also upgoats for knowing what subject agreement is.

[–]acrocanthosaurus 3 points4 points ago

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give that smelly dog a beth

[–]mochiqueen 2 points3 points ago

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At first I thought that dog was sitting on a roll of toilet paper, and I spent many long seconds pondering what sort of sorcery produced such a tiny dog, and where I could get one. Then I realized it was paper towel and it made so much more sense.

[–]dzkn 0 points1 point ago

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Same here. Didn't understand it was toilet paper until I read the comments.

[–]Cptn_Janeway 4 points5 points ago

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Dog the bounty hunter knocked on my door once looking for someone. He was wearing full on beads in his hair or something, and wearing a black leather get-up. He showed us a picture of someone asking if we knew them, but my roommate was laughing way too hard to answer. I always wondered if we were in one of the episodes, but then I realized it would have made for terrible television...for Dog to just get laughed at.

[–]pingOfdeath 8 points9 points ago*

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Wow...this looks like my dog when he use to be sweet and innocent.

http://i.imgur.com/a4k4B.jpg

Mine is a Peekapoo. Yep, I am a 6'4, 275lb man with a chick dog.

[–]Supreme333 12 points13 points ago

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that looks nothing like your dog yours cant even see

[–]pingOfdeath 3 points4 points ago

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Meh a little product and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Yes I said product.

[–]4_669 2 points3 points ago

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I like your rug.

[–]phillycheese 0 points1 point ago

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Your dog really looks nothing at all like the one in the OP.

[–]JimmyHavok 0 points1 point ago

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My neighbor is about that size, with a giant Harley chopper and PTSD from Iraq, and he has a bichon. He goes on extremely long walks, and tells me about all the people who give him shit on them and how he has to hold himself back from violence. It's kind of jarring to hear those stories from a guy holding a fluffy white dog.

[–]fooknprawn 2 points3 points ago

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You laugh now because he's a puppy but in a few years you'll want to kick him for making a huge mess. My 6 year old Fox terrier will destroy and eat any toilet paper or napkins dropped or found on the floor in 2 seconds flat. Cannot break him of the habit no matter what I do.

[–]linlorienelen 0 points1 point ago

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I swear the dog waits for me to turn around so she can pull napkins off of the table or out of the trash. We have to keep the bathroom door shut. The dog makes me crazy.

[–]duckacubed 2 points3 points ago

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I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. upvote.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I am the dog, the biiig bad dog.

[–]mrflippurz 2 points3 points ago

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I saw a pun coming before I even saw the thumbnail. Oh Reddit, I must take a break from you.

[–]Kryosphinx 6 points7 points ago

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I thought to myself, "Oh! A 3 inch puppy! How cute!"

Then I realized Bounty doesn't make toilet paper.

[–]mershed_perderders 1 point2 points ago

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ba-dump tsh!

[–]MuteSecurity 1 point2 points ago

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punpunpunupunupunpun

[–]reallyhellacool 1 point2 points ago

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I had to do a double take because I thought his tongue was some kind of deformity

[–]TeddyJackEddy 1 point2 points ago

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Good boy, get 'em right in the Koch.

[–]rootyb 1 point2 points ago

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I snorted.

[–]Tofuboy 1 point2 points ago

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So he's Dog the Bounty Hunter the Dog?

[–]sup_brah 1 point2 points ago

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I shit you not, My dog is named Bounty hunter, the dog.

[–]__--__--__--__--__ 1 point2 points ago

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[–]kernalsand 1 point2 points ago

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that teddy bear looks so lifelike.

[–]newforaday 1 point2 points ago

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My dog swallowed some paper towels once. He couldn't completely shit it out so I actually had to pull on a paper towel that was hanging from his anus.

[–]abstroniam 1 point2 points ago

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i'm probably going to get flak for this, but... i don't get it.

[–]PattyPegface 1 point2 points ago

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The cuteness forced me to upvote. . . . Damn you.

[–]DrDebG 1 point2 points ago

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You probably told him not to do that, didn't you? But he did anyway. That's...that's...no, I just can't say it. Never mind.

[–]jport 1 point2 points ago

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No. Bounty hunter or not, that is clearly an Ewok.

[–]magic_murder_bag 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't like that I smiled, but I smiled.

[–]dcchuck 1 point2 points ago

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I know this dog! His name is Aesop!

[–]Hands3 1 point2 points ago

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Fake! Obviously that's Scotts brand paper towel

[–]inglipservant4032 1 point2 points ago

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Listen reddit! 4chan has infiltrated the site and is and submitting/upvoting crap like this. If you dont take steps to handle this situation reddit will be dead within a year.

[–]jjv236 1 point2 points ago

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Don't you mean Dog the Plenty Hunter?

[–]baby_batter 1 point2 points ago

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why do dogs like tp so much?

[–]DukeCoffee 1 point2 points ago

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I've had a shitty day. This...helped.

[–]chengnolan 1 point2 points ago

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Mister Whipple's best friend!

[–]IIBGDV 1 point2 points ago

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CHARLES IS THAT YOU GEEZ LOUISE LOOK AT YOU, YOU LOOK SO TALL!!!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Ruined because I viewed the Swiss activist video on skinning dogs alive:(

[–]hal9005 1 point2 points ago

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This is actually a show I'd watch as the Dog: The bounty hunter on TV now is atrocious.

[–]KalAl 1 point2 points ago

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That is not a real puppy. That's too small to be a real puppy...

[–]Forcewater 1 point2 points ago

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Dog the Plenty hunter.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Needs more skullet/mace/big boobed bimbo

[–]gromcal 1 point2 points ago

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The dog is an Apricot Toy Poodle, Found here: http://www.dailypuppy.com/dog/aesop_51472

[–]dfnExp 1 point2 points ago

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If only that's what the real dog the bounty hunter was, I'd watch that shit all day long

[–]DrinkinCoffee 3 points4 points ago

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Tiny doggah.

[–]Andigator 2 points3 points ago

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So fluffy! What breed of dog is this? I must know.

[–]gromcal 3 points4 points ago

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The dog is an Apricot Toy Poodle, Found here: http://www.dailypuppy.com/dog/aesop_51472

[–]Gator_Hunter 2 points3 points ago

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Be careful. It may look harmless, but in a moment SNAP! One bite could be fatal!

[–]Andigator 2 points3 points ago

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Just a nibble, certainly no snaps.

[–]Gator_Hunter 0 points1 point ago

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Danger Danger Danger!

[–]dietotaku 0 points1 point ago

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i have a similar-looking dog that's part yorkie, part shih-tzu. but he's less reddish-colored and more tan-and-black.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Enjoy your karma you clever bastard.

[–]Demerkus 0 points1 point ago

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I struggle to believe that dog is real. It is FAR too cute.

[–]missingsf 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, God dammit! I got sucked in, but I laughed. Heartily. Have an upvote.

[–]MassRelay 0 points1 point ago

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You win at reddit today.

[–]AlisonCreates 0 points1 point ago

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Are you my mom?

[–]Cananboy 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, but what the fuck is that thing?!

[–]RadicalMuslim 0 points1 point ago

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This is just so god damn cute. Saved, forwarded, called the copes.

[–]PixelatedGames 0 points1 point ago

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KOCH BROTHERS OWN BOUNTY! GO DOG GO!

[–]Voltorbs_Anus 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS??!1

[–]gromcal 0 points1 point ago

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The dog is an Apricot Toy Poodle, Found here: http://www.dailypuppy.com/dog/aesop_51472

[–]Voltorbs_Anus 2 points3 points ago

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・゜゚・:.。..。.:・'(゚▽゚)'・:.。. .。.:・゜゚・

[–]chemobrain 0 points1 point ago

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Dog the quilted quicker picker upper hunter.

[–]Bleeding_Llama 0 points1 point ago

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It's not called bounty anymore, is it?

[–]dietotaku 0 points1 point ago

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lord, my dogs look almost just like that and they are madly in love with shredding up used facial tissues. DX

[–]BearDick 0 points1 point ago

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I am so glad the Chinese haven't skinned him alive yet for tiny ugg boots.......

[–]1wutthebleep1 0 points1 point ago

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I expected this to be about the boobs...

[–]othersucker 0 points1 point ago

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You know you've been browsing reddit too long when you read that header and think "dog eating paper towels."

[–]TinyShrimp 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed.

[–]Callist 0 points1 point ago

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What breed of dog is this?

[–]dangerbarker 0 points1 point ago

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Turn yourself over to Christ, brah.

[–]rednemo 0 points1 point ago

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Ha ha. I expected that one guy from that one show.

[–]Christypaints 0 points1 point ago

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Many lols. Victory.

[–]SocialDrunkard 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant? Paper Towel Gang

[–]benthicmastadon 0 points1 point ago

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My dog does the same thing, but it's usually after i've ejaculated into it.

[–]mrgoddamnsam 0 points1 point ago

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Well played.

[–]KlausTeachermann 0 points1 point ago

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This is glorious.

[–]WickedWench 0 points1 point ago

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Can I just say... Ahem: D'AWWWWWW!

[–]falafel_waffle 0 points1 point ago

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I thought that was a stuffed animal. I wish my dog looked like a stuffed toy. :3

[–]lilstumpz 0 points1 point ago

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That has to be the cutest goddamn puppy on the planet.

[–]vinniedamac 0 points1 point ago

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What's with dogs and chewing up paper towels seriously?

[–]bracketdash 0 points1 point ago

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Dee. Oh. Gee the bounty hunter! Charmin!

[–]megashred13 0 points1 point ago

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well this actually looks a shit ton more enjoyable than that tv show...

[–]ginngerr24 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone know what kinda dog this is??? I neeeed one!

[–]meliaesc 0 points1 point ago

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That's not a real puppy. That's too small to be a real puppy.

[–]PrincessKeona 0 points1 point ago

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AWWW SHOOO CUUUTE! Wittle shmooshy puwpy bawby shotobablablallallahsssgihwhgoihgh! WANT!!!

[–]PrincessKeona 0 points1 point ago

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AWWW SHOOO CUUUTE! Wittle shmooshy puwpy bawby shotobablablallallahsssgihwhgoihgh! WANT!!!

[–]PrincessKeona 0 points1 point ago

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AWWW SHOOO CUUUTE! Wittle shmooshy puwpy bawby shotobablablallallahsssgihwhgoihgh! WANT!!!

[–]repoman79 0 points1 point ago

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I get it!

[–]n0exit 0 points1 point ago

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That doesn't even look real.

[–]dontcallitthat 0 points1 point ago

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I saw this about 2 hours ago, didn't get it, and just now came across it again and now I get it. I feel...so stupid...

[–]McJaeger 0 points1 point ago

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D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[–]IamA_Big_Fat_Phony 0 points1 point ago

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So cute I just want to skin it alive.

[–]atmony 0 points1 point ago

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please stop