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Say goodbye to your sex life! (i.imgur.com)
submitted 11 months ago by tennz
[–]Creedelback 227 points228 points229 points 11 months ago
Finally, a practical solution to all this sex I've been having.
[–]dnew 56 points57 points58 points 11 months ago
I thought that's what WoW was for.
[–]ProfessorMammoth 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
But is it a permanent solution?
[–]vacerious 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
No, but that's what Reddit is for.
[–]vemrion 7 points8 points9 points 11 months ago
You poor dear.
[–]bureX 15 points16 points17 points 11 months ago
Death by snoo snoo!
[–]Eldritter 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Lol, at least you can tell it's a temporary tattoo
[–]ccm139 -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
Looks like a form of monster from homestarrunner
[–]jadzzee 14 points15 points16 points 11 months ago
It's actually Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
[–]feistyfish 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
you get an upvote cause now i dont have to feel like a jerk for asking what that was. To the rest of reddit, i'm sorry i didnt have a childhood okay?
[–]StChas77 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
It's okay.
Need a hug?
d'awww so thoughtful /hug
[–]Lafklownlaf 78 points79 points80 points 11 months ago
..what sex life?
[–]BobbyDash 97 points98 points99 points 11 months ago
I imagine this guy could have all the sex he wants with this chick.
[–]TurtleGirlIvey 41 points42 points43 points 11 months ago
No he couldn't. And you guys are mean.
[–]Crygate 14 points15 points16 points 11 months ago
It can't be her... can it?
[–]BobbyDash 10 points11 points12 points 11 months ago
Holy fuck.
[–]Notmyreal1 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
I'm with you on that one.
2 months.
FUCK. WOW.
[–]Geno098 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Oh shit.
[–]TurtleGirlIvey 12 points13 points14 points 11 months ago
Don't worry. I am used to it at this point.
[–]Geno098 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Are you the girl in the video? If so, please do an AMA.
[–]dcss 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
In the video it says her name is Michelle so I dunno..
[–]nokstar 7 points8 points9 points 11 months ago
Celebrity in the house?
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Haha! Holy shit yes!
Fuck em all, I think you're awesome.
[–]HyruleanHero1988 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I just want to say, lady, you love Ninja Turtles as much as I love Nintendo, and mad props to you, I love your obsession. By the way, have you heard this? Horse the Band - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Love that song. :D
[–]jordanlund 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Redditor for two months! Well played!
Seriously though... isn't gettng Krang permanently embedded in ones gut flesh just a little bit, well... creepy? This isn't a nice Donatello on your arm or a Raphael on your calf...
[–]Defender 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You know, the whole time I was thinking "I'd totally hit that", then you put the Mayo on the Pizza.
[–]Tronus 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Mind blown.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
What if he put on a turtle head? What about then?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sMFN69l_ZY&feature=related
[–]takinter 45 points46 points47 points 11 months ago
Thanks for that link. I suddenly feel much better about my life.
[–]BronzeBas 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Why? Do you have something in your life you so passionately love as this woman?
I'm fucking jealous...
[–]FruityPeebils 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I too, wish i was in debt for unnecessary reasons like this woman
[–]takinter 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Reddit!
[–]GeneralWarts 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Once the turtle musical started I couldn't watch anymore. Wtf.
[–]StarKilla 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
dude same haha
[–]gingus418 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I think I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw her slathering mayo onto the pizza.
[–]LincolnHighwater 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
So... I've come to the conclusion that sometimes, it's best to just be mean to people. For instance, if her parents had, at a young(er) age, told her "Stop fucking around with all this Ninja Turtles shit and advance beyond a grade school mentality", she might have... well, stopped fucking around with Ninja Turtles shit and advanced beyond a grade school mentality.
[–]BobbyDash 18 points19 points20 points 11 months ago
I think she may have some legitimate psychological deficiencies.
[–]p4nd4 10 points11 points12 points 11 months ago
But, follow your heart!
[–]dendrobates_ 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
true enough, but I saw another video of this girl where she's a lot more sane. they edited it to make her look as psycho as possible.
[–]Starayo 12 points13 points14 points 11 months ago
Oh, fuck off. She clearly loves it. Not everyone has to be as miserable as you.
[–]ForgettableUsername 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
If I have any one goal in life, it's to make sure that as many people as possible are at least as miserable as I am.
[–]Starayo 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Well, everyone should have a hobby.
[–]ForgettableUsername 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Glad you approve! Unrelated note... but if you haven't had a meningitis vaccine, you could pretty much drop dead at any moment. No pressure or anything, just something to keep in mind.
[–]Starayo 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Fairly sure I've had all my shots, they do 'em free in high school. :D
So kind of you to worry about me.
Drat... not an American. Ok... your dog only pretends to like you because you give it food.
[–]Starayo 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I have a cat and we are bros, I raised him from a kitten and had to feed him with a bottle. :D
[–]Q8ball 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
hey! I had one of those pillows!
[–]ShitCuntFuck 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Aw don't laugh at her, she has ass-burgers.
[–]MikeKM -7 points-6 points-5 points 11 months ago
Nice story about your sister.
[–]BobbyDash 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Oh! Damn, that's a good one.
[–]Mrubuto 16 points17 points18 points 11 months ago
but, say hello to your new best friend! me.
[–]Bro_Hawkins 25 points26 points27 points 11 months ago
Fuckin' Krang, bro.
[–]IIdsandsII 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
First tattoo that put me in a brief state of aw in a long time now.
[–]gaygineer 7 points8 points9 points 11 months ago
First tattoo that will look better with age.
[–]robeph 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
Okay guys, this is very NSFW. VERY nsfw. relevant parts are around 1:30, I did warn you...NSFW
also, sorry for it being a .mov, it is that old. At least it isn't .ram...right? Use vlc, YOU SHOULD HAVE VLC ALREADY. Just saying. Don't download quicktime, it is the most horribly designed video player in existence. I assure you downloading VLC is worth the time, even if you don't watch this wonderfully relevant video.
[–]palindromic 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I was going to post "COME IN MYYY MOUUTHHH" to this thread but I figured nobody would get the reference. Thanks.
[–]redripz 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
I love people like you. You remind me that I haven't quite seen everything on the internet.
[–]robeph 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
It is a pre-2000 gem from way way back. It's old stuff.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I just realized I may Internet too much. I have already seen this video. I think I should take a break for a while...
It was around regularly about...oh...12 or 13 years ago :|
[–]Mason888 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Hilarious!
[–]EightBitPirate 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
Jaffa cake!
[–]Raticide 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I miss these a great deal since leaving the UK.
[–]ThisIsADogHello 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
There's gotta be somewhere around you that you can find them. In the southside of Chicago for example, there's a Eurofresh Market where you can get Jaffa Cakes imported from Serbia. Try looking around for any supermarkets that look like they might have some imported goods.
[–]piggnutt 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Publix carries them
[–]RedsforMeds 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
We call them Delicje in Poland, and they're delicious.
[–]AnalWithMonkeys 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago*
Look at the underwear and shirt. That's a pregnant woman, the Krang picture is supposed to be her baby.
[–]elephanavi 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Why does she have to be pregnant? Why can't she just be fat?
Or both?
[–]Necrix 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
It was gone looooong ago.
[–]silentstorm2008 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
TMNJ FTW!!
Man, I was just thinking about that guy the other dau
[–]Chimerasame 18 points19 points20 points 11 months ago
Woot, Teenage Mutant Ninja Jellyfish!
[–]BoldAssertion 12 points13 points14 points 11 months ago
Teenage Mutants New Jersey
"Some days I’m Uncle Krang, other days I’m Dr. Krang, I’m Chef Krang.. Bang Your Girl Krang… I’m like a pretty deep dude."
[–]MichelBluth 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
It shouldn't be a very long good-bye, they obviously weren't well acquainted.
[–]JtotheGreen 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Yeah, it was the fake tattoo that prevented his sex life.
[–]babypunchingrampage 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
This assumes he has one.
[–]little-bird 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Judging by that belly... definitely not.
[–]KUSHSUPREMACY 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I really don't think his hand will mind.
[–]throwaway123454321 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Shredder! We must get back to the technodrome!
[–]craig5005 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
He never said hello.
[–]f4hy 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Some people are clearly too awesome for sex.
[–]tatsumakisempukyaku 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Holy Shit... I was a pretty fat kid when i was around 11 or so and I used to do "the Krang" to entertain my friends (and to help me get over the sadness of being the "fat kid"), by moving my stomach in and out while talking in a Krang voice so the bottom fat rolls were his mouth, and my nipples as his eyes.
nearly twenty years later I am now a personal trainer... so yeah... I think it might have scared me for life:P
[–]FatherBingo 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
... is there something wrong with me? I would seriously have gotten this had someone on the internet not beaten me to it.
[–]chupwn 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
He might as well get a forever alone tattoo on his arm...unless he already has one.
[–]benjoefoe 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
"eeeuurr, These cookies aren't macedamia! Shredder report back to the techndrome immediately! bluuurp"
[–]fetusloofah 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I dunno, I'd fuck him.
[–]Pizzaspy 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Anyone else still unclear on what body part that is even after looking for 10 minutes and reading every comment?
[–]Shumina 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
KRANG!!!!
[–]RussellG2000 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Question is, is it a guy with a beer belly or a pregnant woman 0.o?
[–]pmac135 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Yes.
[–]NekkidSnaku 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
No?
[–]cjmcduffy 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Kuato would have been better....
[–][deleted] 11 months ago
[deleted]
[–]JayDuck 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Start the reactor... free Mars...
[–]spot35 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Heeey, I got five kids to feed!
[–]feverdream 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
THREE TITS!
[–]DroppaMaPants 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I don't think OP knows about prostitution.
[–]Aaahh_real_people 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Here comes the train! Chooooo chooooo
[–]cynicroute 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
The tattoo itself is awesome. The fact that someone has this on their body...not awesome.
[–]brianbrianbrian 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
If this existed, but it wasn't on someone's body, would it even be a tattoo? At that point, it's just a drawing.
[–]arrowX 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
What's a sex life?! I dont think I have one of those
[–]mawla 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Or HELLO!
[–]motsanciens 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
"I want my new baaahhhdyyy"
[–]wizpig 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You say goodbye, I say hello
[–]BrianTheSquirrel[] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Did anyone else imagine how much it would hurt to have someone tattoo the inside of your bellybutton.
[–]Geech 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Unless she looks like Bebop or Rocksteady!
[–]streetcory 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
mmm Vanilla Wafer.
[–]cboogie 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I used to work with a guy that with sunglasses on he looked just like Krang's body. Did that robot thing have a name?
[–]pukesickle 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I can hear that creepy voice from here.
[–]thepodgod 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Why, did he get his hands chopped off?
[–]oldmanjut 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I hope he's got the voice down pat
[–]Layze 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Get abs, chick dig abs
[–]KyotoSong 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
He never said hello
[–]i700plus 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
THE MORE YOU EAT THE HUNGRIER HE GETS.
[–]rthomas6 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
This kills the sex life.
[–]hiS_oWn 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Please... we were never introduced!
[–]t-wilson93 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
It took me a good 10 or 11 seconds to figure out what body part that was.
[–]FightingPolish 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I think it's safe to say this guy had no sex life to begin with.
In fact he might have improved his sex life by getting this and hooking up with one chick on the planet who has a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fetish.
[–]ankyle 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
To say good bye to it would mean he would have had to have one in the first place.
[–]Sarahmint 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
It's just FINE compared to the guy with the cat butt tattoo on his belly
[–]punisher1005 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Jokes on you, didn't have one anyway! HAHAHA
[–]DonPoppito666 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Doubt he ever said Hello to it.
[–]tumescentpie 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Unless you have a vagina.
[–]napalm_beach 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?
[–]jordanlund 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Krang!
[–]Sanguine_Rose 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Yes, you are looking at WTF, Yoda.
[–]yuki90p 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
that's so amazing. TMNT should have used him as a villain in the live actions
[–]BillyMumphries 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Pizzaface from Spaceballs?
[–]a11city 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
this was on geekologie last week
[–]Hector_Kur 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Oddly enough, I've met quite a few adult TMNT fans who were women.
[–]microsyntax 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
jaffa cake! <3
[–]higgledy 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I'm fairly confident in saying there probably wasn't much sex life PRIOR to this incident.
[–]IamStrategy 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Looks either fake or brand new.
[–]bblemonade 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
HORROR
[–]Awesome_X 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
worth it.
He did that with his diet.
[–]DocDerry 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I'M INVINCIBLE!
[–]spaceyraygun 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
should has more upvotes.
[–]tyler 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Meh - maybe he likes taking it from behind.
[–]N3koChan 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
How can someone can be that stupid?
[–]nomaple 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Telly tubbie from hell 0.0
[–]Vataro 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago*
Who the fuck are you? This was posted by my friend.
http://i.imgur.com/tV0OS.png
edit: I'm still entertaining the thought of someone posting unoriginal content on FB. So forgive me if that's the case.
[–]chiatar -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
I love squidbillies!
[–]Nitsed -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
TEEN AGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! Krang!!! Yes! This rules.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
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