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1347
1348

I don't know why I keep falling for this. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Infammo

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[–]sndzag1 658 points659 points ago

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Demon spawn from inter-dimensional gateway to hell?

Nope.

Genetic experiments on Mars.

[–]Infammo[S] 334 points335 points ago

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I felt my stomach sink during the trailer for that.

"On a distant research facility... the final 10% of the human genome has been discovered."

The magic was inside us all along!

[–][deleted] 330 points331 points ago

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"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted.

The radio said "No, John. You are the demons."

And then John was a zombie.

[–]Nowhere_Man_Forever[!] 72 points73 points ago

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Truer to the game than the movie

[–]Hamlet7768 32 points33 points ago*

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Relevant

Also Relevant

Also Also Relevant, and better than the second link

[–]mes9696 3 points4 points ago

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Best

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    [–]robowookie 6 points7 points ago

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    mfw I was the demons all along.

    [–]Himmelreich 7 points8 points ago

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    mfw when I have no face

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      [–]apexcp 65 points66 points ago

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      Oh my god, I was wrong! It was earth all along!

      [–][deleted] 58 points59 points ago

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      They finally made a demon out of me

      [–]Lots42 21 points22 points ago

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      I LOVE YOU BARON OF HELL!

      [–]Lear_King_Of_Britain 34 points35 points ago

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      I hate my life. I just heard Troy McClure sing that inside my head.

      [–]mindbleach 18 points19 points ago

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      Failing to see a downside.

      [–]doskey 2 points3 points ago

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      The actor who voiced him was murdered :(

      [–]mikekearn 25 points26 points ago

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      Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such self-help films as Adjusting Your Self-O-Stat, or Get Confident, Stupid!

      [–]SeptimusOctopus 3 points4 points ago

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      Here's something to cheer you up:

      I hate every ape I see; from chimpan-A to chimpanzee.

      Great writing on that episode.

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        [–][deleted] 121 points122 points ago

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        And then shortly after the movie was released, we really did map the entire human genome and no demunz :3

        [–]mahacctissoawsum 99 points100 points ago

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        i thought it was even before the movie was released.....

        edit:

        On April 14, 2003 the National Human Genome Research Institute (NHGRI), the Department of Energy (DOE) and their partners in the International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium announced the successful completion of the Human Genome Project.

        http://www.genome.gov/11006943

        Doom was released October 21, 2005.

        http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419706/

        2 years before. I remember watching the movie and was like uhh.....didn't we finish that already? Why do so many movies rely on this stupid 10% bullshit?

        [–]Walletau 53 points54 points ago

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        because it's easy

        [–]flinteastwood 82 points83 points ago

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        I hear the final 10% of Reddit is where all of the good blue links are.

        [–]Speedingturtle 5 points6 points ago

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        But at the end of the day, they're all just purple.

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          [–]StochasticOoze 21 points22 points ago

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          Usually it's "We only use 10% of our brains". I've never heard the "We only use 90% of our genes" thing before.

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              [–]StochasticOoze 18 points19 points ago

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              "On a distant research facility... the final 10% of the human genome has been discovered."

              The--

              I --

              But--

              what?

              I cannot express in how many ways that statement doesn't make any fucking sense.

              [–]scotchlover 22 points23 points ago

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              Now I have to ask which video game movie that is. I stay away from them for that reason alone but morbid curiosity makes me have to ask.

              [–]Infammo[S] 90 points91 points ago

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              Doom.

              The mythos of the series has been well established. It's the future and the demonic armies of hell have invaded. Simplistic? Yeah, but it works for the genre.

              In the movie version the monsters are the result of adding an extra chromosome to our DNA which is the genetic makeup of the soul or something stupid like that. They also made the rock the bad guy even though he looks the most like the protagonist of the game. Fuck that movie.

              [–]finalremix 41 points42 points ago

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              Yeah, plus the "demon door to hell" has already been done, and well.

              [–]DrRedditPhD 17 points18 points ago

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              Somehow I knew what movie this would be even before I clicked.

              [–]hyperblaster 9 points10 points ago

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              Since he said "demon door to hell", there really was only one option.

              [–]CiXeL 28 points29 points ago

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              The Gate

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                  [–]ablebodiedmango 30 points31 points ago

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                  The FPS segment at the end was pretty fucking awesome though. The only part of the movie that seemed video-gamish and it rocked.

                  [–]Irish33 11 points12 points ago

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                  All you need to do to make a good Doom movie is combine

                  This with Evil Dead-style B-Movie horror and tongue-in-cheek cheesiness.

                  Soundtrack by Megadeth.

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                        [–]Irish33 101 points102 points ago

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                        Hollywood seriously impressed me with its inability to follow the complex tapestry of plot and cerebral drama that is fucking DOOM

                        I mean, just HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE AT WHAT YOU DO TO FUCK THIS UP?

                        [–]Sansarasa 20 points21 points ago

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                        They wanted a sci-fi flick. There's nothing else than that on the decision.

                        Demons from hell might have make the producers think it would be a constantine-esque story or whatever.

                        [–]klapaucius 9 points10 points ago

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                        Speaking of getting it wrong, Constantine. Google Hellblazer, gain a cursory knowledge of the character, and then wonder in befuddlement how making him a Catholic Keanu Reeves makes any damn sense.

                        [–]TehRedBaron 3 points4 points ago

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                        I'd rather live in ignorance. I have no knowledge whatsoever of the origins of the movie, so I just enjoyed it for what it was. In that light, I fucking love that movie.

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                            [–]bulletbillx 35 points36 points ago

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                            yes. a good doom movie would have been aliens + event horizon with doom monsters. - not another resident evil clone but in space.

                            [–]sndzag1 69 points70 points ago

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                            Still waiting on a good Half-Life movie, for that matter.

                            Just kidding. It'll probably start out with a talkative, scientific know-it-all Gordon Freechman and his sassy female scientist side-kick Alyxxx, who get teleported to the alien world of Zen and are forced to do battle with the Gman, a highly trained CIA operative hunting them down because Alyxxx is actually herself, an alien.

                            [–]bulletbillx 36 points37 points ago

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                            And they'd throw in Michele Rodriguez or Milla Jovovich.

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                              [–]sonnyz 21 points22 points ago

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                              I still refuse to watch that movie. I won't even download it illegally, and I've illegally downloaded some stupid shit like the Hannah Montana movie.

                              [–]BlackFallout 17 points18 points ago

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                              You fapped to the Hannah Montana movie didn't you?

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                                  [–]JaymesJB 99 points100 points ago

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                                  No one's mentioned Max Payne yet, eh?

                                  [–]Reptarftw 64 points65 points ago

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                                  Yes, I want to talk about this. How the fuck was it even possible to make this a bad movie? This was a game written as an interactive movie, essentially. Everything was there. They could have just done an illustrated frame to cinematic frame copy and filled in the action sequences with an emulation of the gameplay, and it would have been a good movie.

                                  But no. They added angels and demons and all kinds of stupid nonsensical shit, took out the characters that made it fun and interesting, and ass-raped the core of the titular character. Max Payne: generic action cop. THAT WASN'T WHAT THE GAME PROPOSED AT ALL!

                                  [–]Fantonald 13 points14 points ago

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                                  With every film adaptation of video games it seems that none of the people involved has ever actually played the game. Often it seems like they've only seen the trailer, or gotten a brief synopsis from someone who's played it.

                                  "OK, it's New York, it's night, it's winter, and there's Valkyries, this shit is going to be awesome. Hey, that guy kinda looks like Mark Wahlberg. Quick, get Wahlberg on the phone and get me some more coke!"

                                  [–]tawpdawg 6 points7 points ago

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                                  I lost it at the part where Wahlburg gets on his knees and roars. The movie was bad enough without it kicking itself in the balls.

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                                      [–]Sven2774 53 points54 points ago

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                                      I always wonder why it is that video game movies are so bad. I mean, the plot and everything is there, and it shouldn't be too hard to stay on track. Yet, almost every time, the movie is nothing like the game and it ends up being shit.

                                      [–]ForgotMyPants 65 points66 points ago

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                                      It's the same old 'Board of directors'-syndrome.

                                      Some director thinks s/he can improve on the script, adds things that are irrelevant while removing things that are key to the plot - and voila! A shitty film is born because 'artists' can't help but to be creative with things they should just leave alone.

                                      [–]ProfFrizzo 8 points9 points ago

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                                      It's this. You have to remember that everyone on Hollywood is trying to make a name for themselves. Also they want to appeal to a larger audience who may not know anything about the game.

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                                        [–]bulletbillx 13 points14 points ago

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                                        Comic book movies were the same way until Superman:The movie and Batman in 1989. then they were killed off essentially after batman and robin and were reborn better than ever.

                                        So until video games get an awesome movie they will languish in being pretty terrible because of the self-fulfilling prophecy of talent and money not going to B-movies/genres.

                                        [–]Tmdean 32 points33 points ago

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                                        Probably because video game movies are low prestige projects in Hollywood, so they attract no talent, so they end up being bad. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

                                        [–]nonsensepoem 18 points19 points ago

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                                        Part of it is probably the result of a deep disrespect most Hollywood producers have for the audience in general, and for gamers in particular.

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                                          [–]gamblekat 48 points49 points ago

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                                          Why do video game movies suck? Imagine you're a game developer and I'm a movie executive pitching a new project based on your highly-successful game. Here are my terms:

                                          • We don't pay you a cent to license the IP. Nothing up-front and no royalties. Remember, you're doing this for 'exposure'.
                                          • We have total control over writing, direction, editing, etc.
                                          • We're going to start under the assumption that video game movies always bomb at the box office, so don't expect a big budget, advertising, decent actors, etc.
                                          • Also, fuck you.

                                          You want to know why Uwe Boll is able to license so many video game properties? Unlike the rest of the movie industry, he pays game developers for their IP in cash dollars, not 'exposure'. Video game movies have never made money, so movie studios don't expect them to ever make money, so they refuse to invest in producing decent films that would actually find an audience. It's like superhero movies before 'Batman'. Until someone makes a video game movie that is successful enough to break that expectation, they'll do everything in their power to ensure video game movies continue to suck.

                                          [–]Ikronix 25 points26 points ago*

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                                          In the late 90s/early 00s, that was true enough. Now games like GTA and Call of Duty are beating out Hollywood blockbuster theater grosses on day one.

                                          Hollywood sees video games as the great untapped IP (intellectual property) cache, especially since comic book properties are being divvy'd up and optioned so fucking fast.

                                          Hell, almost every new franchise EA has launched in the last five years has been aimed directly at the big screen since day one of development. Kane & Lynch (Edit: Whoops, this is Eidos), Army of Two -- yes, Mass Effect had movie treatments floating around before the first game came out in '08 -- Syndicate, Dead Space, and everything else are all "in development." It's a standard business move now for EA, and Ubisoft is launching their own production studio to handle their own properties.

                                          Why haven't we seen the flood of movies yet? Two reasons:

                                          • Inconsistency. Resident Evil is the obvious recent moneymaker, Prince of Persia did nicely, Tomb Raider made fucking bank (combined international box office of $500+ million for both flicks), but nothing else has really stood out and there are a lot of flops.

                                          • No template. Hollywood loves formula. Studios want to know that they can head down a specific path and come up with a marketable product. (This explains the Resident Evil sequels.) With comic book movies, Blade made everyone sit up and take notice, and X-Men set the template for the PG-13 movies we've been seeing every summer since. When the first video game movie hits it big and sticks, the purse strings will open within days and all of those prepped IPs will suddenly get greenlit.

                                          [–]getthefuckoutofhere 3 points4 points ago

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                                          movies have never made money

                                          FTFY. "harry potter 5... oh... we lost about $170 million on that" shakes head, giving a respectful whistle. "what a shame we didn't make a fat sack of cash. 'course, we'll still be making 3 more movies. hope they don't "lose" money as well" chortles while driving off in a bentley

                                          [–]EndymionAwake 3 points4 points ago

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                                          I know, we'll add cheap 3d effects so we can sell the tickets at a much higher price!

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                                            [–]AtavistAnimus 539 points540 points ago

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                                            Metal Gear Solid 4 was a good movie, i hope they make a game out of that someday.

                                            [–]Bany1911 112 points113 points ago

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                                            That's not fair, you got to play for 10minutes in between hour long cut scenes!

                                            [–]Ivallios 18 points19 points ago

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                                            That movie took forever to watch. That ending narrative at the end wrapping up all the movies took way too long, they could have just created another movie!

                                            [–]seanbergmanrules 31 points32 points ago

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                                            Cutscene 1: Nanomachines. Guns. Locked.

                                            Ok.

                                            Cutscene 2: Nanomachines. Lock guns.

                                            Yeah, that guy with the monkey already said that.

                                            Cutscene 3: Nano-

                                            I already fucking know.

                                            Cutscene 3: -machines. Disable guns.

                                            You mother fucker.

                                            Cutscene 4: Na-

                                            Hello, Gamestop? How much for a used copy of MGS4?

                                            [–]afarnsworth 40 points41 points ago

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                                            in video form

                                            contains spoilers. SPOILER: there are nanomachines!!!

                                            [–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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                                            One dollar in store credit.

                                            Fucking Gamestop

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                                                [–]mr-scratch 223 points224 points ago

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                                                The only game-based movie I legitimately enjoyed was Silent Hill.

                                                Well... Super Mario Bros the movie was sweet.. but only because it was so fucking terrible.

                                                [–]ScottCarmichael 103 points104 points ago*

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                                                Game Informer had a very interesting 4-page article on the making of the Mario Bros. film a few issues ago. The entire movie was a giant disaster, from an ever-changing script, investors/producers making changes at all stages, actors being pissed, budgets for SFX being crappy, mismatched visions for what the movie should be (a literal translation or Mario in name only), etc.

                                                Bob Hoskins is on record as saying it was the biggest mistake of his career.

                                                HERE'S THE ARTICLE: http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?p=4590048 (Sorry for the crappy site, this was the only place that had it)

                                                [–]fruitcakefriday 12 points13 points ago

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                                                I enjoyed it as a kid. Then, I never owned a console and had probably never got past level 2 of Mario on my friends systems, so the whole story was new to me.

                                                [–]HomerJunior 47 points48 points ago

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                                                The story was new for anyone who played the game too.

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                                                  [–]bcfallout 14 points15 points ago

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                                                  Good article. Saved me the waste of time watching that monstrosity so I could actually do something productive. Like browse reddit.

                                                  [–]Zarokima 37 points38 points ago

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                                                  You should watch it anyway. It's one of those "so bad it's good" movies.

                                                  [–]despaxes 8 points9 points ago

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                                                  I would watch it. I enjoyed it as a kid. It wasn't good by traditional means. It was good in sense of how bad it was. It was almost a Schadenfreude movie (not in the same sens of Saw though).

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                                                      [–]fruitcakefriday 45 points46 points ago

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                                                      +1 for Silent Hill. How that movie got a 15 age rating in the UK I'll never fathom; the gruesome scene at the end was horrible. I think the film could have been a bit subtler about some story aspects, but generally, pretty darn good.

                                                      The nurses in the film actually translated extremely well back into the video game in Silent Hill 5, too.

                                                      If they could make a horror film of Silent Hill 2, using the exact same plot, I'd love it even more.

                                                      I watched Resident Evil and was like...wtf is this shit? WHERE ARE THE ZOMBIES? I didn't even really know the RE plot that well, but I knew there were damn zombies in it.

                                                      [–]YummyMeatballs 9 points10 points ago

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                                                      One of the fantastic things about Silent hill is that it really didn't rely on CGI too much. A lot of the creepy zombie things were people in suits and it made them look incredibly creepy.

                                                      Admittedly there was a reasonable amount of CGI in there but I do remember being surprised at certain things being real SFX instead.

                                                      [–]Lots42 18 points19 points ago

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                                                      Wait, what? Resident Evil movies were CRAMMED full of zombies.

                                                      Edit: I repressed the memory of Resident Evil: Afterbirth

                                                      [–]Sankee72 9 points10 points ago

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                                                      double dragon.

                                                      [–]HouseDragon 9 points10 points ago*

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                                                      I believe I saw somewhere there making a Silent Hill 2, I'll have to check.

                                                      Edit: I can't give a link due to me being on my phone but its Silent Hill: Revelation 3D starring Sean Bean. Hopefully its just as good.

                                                      [–]johnmjones 7 points8 points ago

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                                                      They are making the sequel to correct the fact that Sean Bean did not die in the first one. He has to die in everything he is in.

                                                      [–]D14BL0 5 points6 points ago

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                                                      I have a hard time imagining Sean Bean not holding some sort of medieval sword anymore.

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                                                        [–]Driyen 7 points8 points ago

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                                                        I also enjoyed Silent Hill, I feel like it did a good job of somewhat keeping in spirit with the games. Now I've never played Silent Hill, blasphemy I know, but I've spent too much time on Wikipedia reading about the games.

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                                                          [–]Dragontre 35 points36 points ago

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                                                          Silent hill remains the best video game movie since its stayed closest to the source material

                                                          [–]woofdg79 13 points14 points ago

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                                                          Silent Hill was pretty awesome. Speaking of staying close to source material. As far as I know this is just a rumor, but I heard that they're rebooting the 1st Resident Evil movie and want to make it the exact story of it as well. Which if they manage to pull off and don't stray from the story, would be amazing. Because I love RE1.

                                                          [–]Ikronix 12 points13 points ago

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                                                          Nope. Paul W. S. Anderson is directing another Resident Evil sequel.

                                                          He hates us all.

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                                                            [–]johnmjones 2 points3 points ago

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                                                            Silent Hill was great because it was so true to the atmosphere and the setting but yet told a unique story that was not in the games.

                                                            I think the creators felt so strongly about it they they have accepted it into cannon.

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                                                              [–]Psyladine 31 points32 points ago

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                                                              You ever hear of the telephone game? Multiply that by investors staking tens of millions of dollars on an uncertain premise, uncertain to men whose experience with games ended with Mrs. Pacman in college, and add in the egos, insecurities and narcissism of actors and directors who do not respect the source as art, let alone canon.

                                                              If you want the best translation possible, just imagine the game as it would be as a movie, and leave it at that.

                                                              [–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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                                                              The best video game movies are the CGI ones that games companies themselves do. I'm not a Final Fantasy fan but I heard Advent Children was pretty much a perfect video game movie.

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                                                                [–]godmoderage 134 points135 points ago

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                                                                Just like the DBZ live action movie... oh god that was horrible.

                                                                [–][deleted] 126 points127 points ago

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                                                                I'm not a fan of DBZ, I think it's pretty shite. As such I wanted to watch the film for gloating purposes because I knew it was going to be bad. Instead I actually felt sympathy for DBZ fans, no fanbase deserves that kind of treatment.

                                                                [–]godmoderage 40 points41 points ago

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                                                                <3

                                                                [–]Monstermash042 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                Thaaaank you. It hurts, it really really hurts sometimes.

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                                                                  [–]KaseyMcKasey 36 points37 points ago

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                                                                  Yeah, a white boy playing Goku? Come on.

                                                                  [–]Patius 35 points36 points ago

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                                                                  You won't want to hear about the Akira movie then....

                                                                  [–]Shilo59 50 points51 points ago

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                                                                  CAAAANNNAADDAAAA!!!

                                                                  [–]Sly6 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                  TETSUOOOOOOOOO!!!

                                                                  [–]chileangod 18 points19 points ago

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                                                                  It's a great country.

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                                                                        [–]Beanbaker 107 points108 points ago

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                                                                        Well, shit. I googled the game blue. I'm bad at symbols.

                                                                        [–]rmcsc 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                        Same here. I thought of Blue Shift and was like... THERE'S A HALF-LIFE MOVIE?!?!?!?!?!

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                                                                          [–]ShuckFit 150 points151 points ago

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                                                                          god damn you resident evil, GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! (the movies.)

                                                                          [–][deleted] 119 points120 points ago

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                                                                          The movies were okay, but they didn't have jack shit to do with the games.

                                                                          [–]fonster_mox 124 points125 points ago

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                                                                          Except for a sexy Jill Valentine in a tube top.

                                                                          [–]Raziel66 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                          I thought she was fantastic in that part. I'd watch Sienna Guillory in anything after that

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                                                                            [–]ShuckFit 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                            thats what im sayin! it was just so disappointing, i loved the games plot so much, and they just shit alll over it

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                                                                              [–]NotMarkus 13 points14 points ago

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                                                                              My shit is custom!

                                                                              [–]Niqulaz 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                              The first movie was okay. The rest took a turn for the worse, and then, when they had reached Uwe Boll like proportions of bad and you though the franchise was doomed, they made a fourth movie.

                                                                              The first movie at least felt like Resident Evil at times. Some of the sets had been created to be Resident Evil scenery, especially when they're down in the ducts. And of course the fucking dogs, the licker, and the bit when you actually get to a key point, and you see a sequence of doors unlocking, lights coming on etc.

                                                                              All these things were Resident Evil in a nutshell. The only thing that was truly missing, would be a couple of scenes with a fixed camera from a slightly annoying angle, and the characters dicking around underneath it.

                                                                              [–]IHaveALargePenis 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                              I really didn't mind the first two movies, they were pretty good as far as zombie movies go. But I did fucking hate that part where zombies started popping out of the ground in the graveyard. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

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                                                                                [–]ginja_ninja 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                                I think the problem lies in the fact that the people who make/fund the movies are not the same people who really like and enjoy the respective video games. When you look at most movies based on books that do well and are critically acclaimed, they've always got a director, writers, producers, etc. that are huge fans of the source material and want to make the conversion as accurate and preserving of the original feel as possible. Most video game movies seem to be done with the mindset of, "Ok, how can we mainstream this as much as possible to get the biggest audience while still tricking fans of the game that it will be a faithful representation in the previews?"

                                                                                [–]paradox1123 406 points407 points ago*

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                                                                                Inception was the best "Video Game" movie that I can think of. It had a framing device to get from level to level; each level had a different objective (driving, stealth/combat, and shooting); it had puzzles, combat, a final boss encounter; and even a metroid style "race to the surface" sequence after the final boss.

                                                                                [edit] I guess what I'm saying is that in order to create a good video game movie, it needs to feel like a video game, not just have the same story as a video game, or re-create its cutscenes on screen.

                                                                                [–]ducttape83 32 points33 points ago

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                                                                                Run Lola Run felt like a video game in that you keep doing the same level over and over until you got it right.

                                                                                [–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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                                                                                In that case, what about Groundhog Day? That would be more like an adventure game that you keep playing until you get it right. Except you get to level up your skills as long as you practice them each time through.

                                                                                [–]Tactful 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                Closest to a majora's mask film we're ever gonna get.

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                                                                                  [–]mylittleprincest 28 points29 points ago

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                                                                                  Speaking of these kinds of movies, I can't help but mention Crank and Crank 2! Both were made very intentionally to be 'game' movies.

                                                                                  Thoroughly enjoyable too, you bunch of sausage Nigels!

                                                                                  [–]WatchYourTone 18 points19 points ago

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                                                                                  I used to think they were the stupidest movies until I realized them for what they were. Then the shit became brilliant.

                                                                                  [–]TrjnRabbit 293 points294 points ago

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                                                                                  Sucker Punch and Scott Pilgrim also qualify as video game movies that weren't based on video games.

                                                                                  At the very least they were influenced by the narrative structure of some games.

                                                                                  [–]Inequilibrium 27 points28 points ago

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                                                                                  Scott Pilgrim is easily the best video game movie, and it's not even based on a video game. I wish actual video game movies could take that approach.

                                                                                  [–]BIG_PY 353 points354 points ago

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                                                                                  Too bad Sucker Punch was completely incoherent and balls-ass retarded.

                                                                                  [–]NeutralAngel 402 points403 points ago

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                                                                                  I liked Patton Oswalt's quote on twitter about it: "Should I go see Sucker Punch or read Mein Kampf while I jerk off to Sailor Moon and save fifteen dollars?"

                                                                                  [–]porwegiannussy 70 points71 points ago

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                                                                                  This assumes he already has Mein Kampf.

                                                                                  [–]feureau 47 points48 points ago

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                                                                                  Everybody has Mein Kampf. Especially redditors. It's even voted on the top 100 book on r/books for several years in a row.

                                                                                  [–]porwegiannussy 32 points33 points ago

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                                                                                  Voted on by people who like the idea of having read it. /snark

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                                                                                      [–]max_damage78 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                      We can all admit that Mein Kampf has it's moments but no matter how "great" Sailor Moon was, it simply doesn't have Emily Browning.

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                                                                                        [–]TrjnRabbit 43 points44 points ago

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                                                                                        Just like the plot of many action games these days.

                                                                                        [–]Dxtuned 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                        which brings us full circle as to why most video games do not translate well into good movies.

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                                                                                          [–]Azeltir 14 points15 points ago

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                                                                                          But how about that cover of White Rabbit, eh?

                                                                                          [–]peter__venkman 121 points122 points ago*

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                                                                                          If you watch Sucker Punch expecting Shawshank Redemption, then you're and idiot. If you watch it expecting Zach Snyder has a bunch of really good ideas for really fucking cool action sequences, and had no way to relevantly tie them together, and could not get funding for 4-seperate movies, so shut the fuck up and watch it, then you will have fun.

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                                                                                            [–]paradox1123 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                                            True. Though Scott Pilgrim was based on a comic book whose nearly every dialog line was a reference to one video game or another; and its narrative structure was similarly video game inspired.

                                                                                            And Sucker Punch...Honestly, I haven't seen Sucker Punch, it didn't look like the kind of thing I'd like. Inception used it's science fiction/fantasy framing device to create a a sequence of somewhat realistic action scenes. Even the rotating hallway scene had a realistic feel; especially given that that really was Joseph-Gorden Levitt in a rotating hallway set; no CGI was involved.

                                                                                            Sucker Punch looked like nothing but CGI sequences, and was using its framing device as more of an excuse to create over-the-top action scenes with girls in skimpy clothes. Maybe it was more than that, but I never really cared to find out.

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                                                                                              [–]rospaya 63 points64 points ago

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                                                                                              Crank, anyone? It was practically GTA: The movie.

                                                                                              [–]SarcasticOptimist 27 points28 points ago

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                                                                                              It deconstructed action movies and gave a perfect real-life reason why someone would act like a character in an open-sandbox game. And the second one was even nuttier.

                                                                                              [–]RamenOps 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                              I hear people tell me Crank 2 was too over the top.

                                                                                              I think those people hate fun and dry paint as a hobby.

                                                                                              [–]nomtank 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                                              It wasn't that Crank 2 was too over the top; it was that it just seemed like it tried way to hard.

                                                                                              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                              The Godzilla sequence was inspired.

                                                                                              [–]ledd 48 points49 points ago

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                                                                                              Inception was a better movie but I believe District 9 was a better video game movie.

                                                                                              [–]asphyxiate 35 points36 points ago

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                                                                                              Aliens? Mechs? Guns that shoot explodey lightning? If Bungie does it, I'm in.

                                                                                              [–]paradox1123 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                                              Didn't District 9 start off as Peter Jackson's Halo movie project?

                                                                                              [–]clearingitup 17 points18 points ago

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                                                                                              Neill Blomkamp, the director of District 9, directed a Halo live action short, for a while it seemed like he was going to make a Halo movie, he didn't, this was all before the creation of District 9.

                                                                                              [–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                                              this was all before the creation of District 9

                                                                                              Not exactly, he made Alive in Joburg, the short on which District 9 was based, before the whole Halo/Jackson thing

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                                                                                                [–]Malgas 13 points14 points ago

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                                                                                                Given that it also has a character who goes from nerdy white-collar milquetoast to battle-suited gravity gun wielding badass, I think there's at least one other company who might do it justice...

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                                                                                                    [–]Zyphes 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                                                    I agree, Psychonauts is one of the few games to get a deserving movie adaptation.

                                                                                                    [–]electricmice 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                                    fuck, inception would be so good as an fps game. there's a reason for tons of enemies which most movies don't have. it's got cool gravity game mechanics, excuse to generate almost any random object and can have basically any setting from level to level.

                                                                                                    [–]paradox1123 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                                    Or even an in-game level creator for architects to share entie dream hiest campaigns online.

                                                                                                    [–]electricmice 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                    this fantasy is getting to be too sweet.

                                                                                                    [–]Flam5 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                    Similarly, one of my favorite movies, Falling Down, always reminded me of an RPG. Constant weapon upgrades (from a bat, to knife, to guns, etc.) and scenes that would easily correlate to levels in a game.

                                                                                                    Besides having the video game progression feel to it, its just a damn good and beautiful movie.

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                                                                                                      [–]Rugbyjr 57 points58 points ago

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                                                                                                      I'm color blind.

                                                                                                      [–]merckens 36 points37 points ago

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                                                                                                      You probably really enjoy video game movies then.

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                                                                                                        [–]mikepak 133 points134 points ago

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                                                                                                        It wasn't a game but The Last Airbender was the biggest fucking disappointment in my life. It could have been a great movie but Shamalamalayn or however you spell it fucking ruined it.

                                                                                                        [–]welovekah 169 points170 points ago

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                                                                                                        He's going to make the greatest movie ever made one day. It will be his greatest twist.

                                                                                                        [–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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                                                                                                        Unbreakable.

                                                                                                        [–]dudleymooresbooze 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                                                        I heard a rumor that when they filmed Unbreakable, they actually completed all three movies of the trilogy. They did it so that the actors would all remain the right age. The intent is to release one every twenty years.

                                                                                                        No, I'm fucking with you. He instead moved on to making flicks about villages and trees and shit.

                                                                                                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                        I despise you forever for cockteasing me more severly than Smallville ever could have.

                                                                                                        Have a Goddamn upvote.

                                                                                                        [–]bitchesLOVEhepC 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                        Easily his best movie, shame the studio nixed the lighting budget during production.

                                                                                                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                        I agree, and I would've LOVED to see the trilogy it was supposed to be.

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                                                                                                          [–]despaxes 77 points78 points ago

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                                                                                                          "American just don't get it." -M. Might Shamafucker

                                                                                                          It proceeds to bomb in Europe too.

                                                                                                          I laughed.

                                                                                                          [–]gamblekat 34 points35 points ago

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                                                                                                          Actually, the fucker ended up being one of the highest-grossing movies of 2010. It easily made back twice the production costs.

                                                                                                          This is unfortunately why Shamalamadingdong keeps getting hired to direct movies. No matter how bad he makes them, people still pay to watch his monstrosities. AFAIK, "Lady in the Water" is the only film he's ever made that lost money.

                                                                                                          [–]donpapillon 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                                                          Ironically the only one I love... I know, guilty love, but still.

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                                                                                                              [–]Lots42 23 points24 points ago

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                                                                                                              Let's imprison the people who can make rock fly in a quarry!

                                                                                                              YAY!

                                                                                                              [–]Aniraco 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                                                              That really was just lazy. "Wait so your telling me I have to film out in the ocean on an oil rig? Nahh lets just film over there on the side of the road."

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                                                                                                                [–]nonsensepoem 13 points14 points ago

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                                                                                                                Why the fuck didn't someone stop him? Was it the Lucas effect (surrounded by yes men) all over again?

                                                                                                                [–]mmazurr 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                                                I was a huge fan of the show, too, and it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen because I was so excited for there to be a movie. I still watch the show, though.

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                                                                                                                  [–]IamMNightShyamalan 148 points149 points ago

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                                                                                                                  twist: blue is red

                                                                                                                  [–]PSBlake 222 points223 points ago

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                                                                                                                  Depends on how fast the screen is moving relative to the observer.

                                                                                                                  [–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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                                                                                                                  Heh.

                                                                                                                  [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                                  And in which direction!

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                                                                                                                      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                                                      Oh Max Payne, what could've been. All they had to do was follow the in-game graphic novel.

                                                                                                                      [–]himself_v 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                                                                      I guess they couldn't beat the game to read it all.

                                                                                                                      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                                                                      I wonder if they even put the disk in at all.

                                                                                                                      [–]EveryDayIsCharlieDay 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                                      apparently wahlberg didnt even play it.

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                                                                                                                        [–]bulletbillx 83 points84 points ago

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                                                                                                                        In all fairness at least Mortal kombat was good.

                                                                                                                        [–]elerner 47 points48 points ago

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                                                                                                                        The best part of that movie was Billy Madison's love interest breaking a dude's neck with her legs (and a pun!)

                                                                                                                        [–]GreatQuestion 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                                                                        Not to be a bummer, but have you watched it recently - as in since you were younger? It's... fun, sure, but to call it a good movie might be a bit too generous. As a kid I loved it (even bought the soundtrack), but as an adult I felt like the Jackie-Chan-scratching-his-head-in-confusion meme as I watched it.

                                                                                                                        [–]bulletbillx 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                                        I consider it to be good, but not as good as the inspirations for the movie and game which were largely Enter the Dragon meets Big Trouble in little china with influences from things like bloodsport and the Terminator.

                                                                                                                        [–]bbzed 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                                                        the soundtrack was epic

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                                                                                                                            [–]Noreaga 70 points71 points ago

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                                                                                                                            Assasin's Creed with a good cast, writers and director would make an awesome movie.

                                                                                                                            [–]WezVC 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                                                                            We hope...

                                                                                                                            Didn't they do a short on YouTube, using the actors that the characters designs were based on? That shit was awesome.

                                                                                                                            [–]twomz 42 points43 points ago

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                                                                                                                            Assassin's Creed - Lineage

                                                                                                                            [–]WezVC 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                                                            That's the one! All about Ezio's father.

                                                                                                                            [–]twomz 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                                                            Yup, whoever made these needs to collaborate on a full length movie, cause they're a lot better than the majority of the shit that's been in theaters lately.

                                                                                                                            [–]HHSHawx 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                                            Thanks for the movie, man.

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                                                                                                                                [–]Vortilex 24 points25 points ago

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                                                                                                                                This is the reason why they shouldn't make a Zelda movie, as much as I'd like one. The producers have a completely different interpretation of the game from mine, so although I'd love a Zelda movie, I'd be disappointed with anything other than what I had in mind, as would all of us, I imagine.

                                                                                                                                [–]trident042 33 points34 points ago

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                                                                                                                                But what if Robin Williams executive-produced it?

                                                                                                                                [–]pikpikcarrotmon 24 points25 points ago

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                                                                                                                                How about Robin Williams plays the King of Hyrule and his daughter plays Zelda.

                                                                                                                                [–]Drumada 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                                                                                I can see robin williams randomly popping up and saying "Dinner!" all the time, lets do it

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                                                                                                                                    [–]AndrewSoup 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                                                                    The only way I could ever see a Legend of Zelda movie working is if it's animated. Preferably by Studio Ghibli.

                                                                                                                                    [–]Lots42 19 points20 points ago

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                                                                                                                                    Let's see. Doesn't happen in Hyrule, Link never finds an Ocarina and there's a hookshot for five seconds, then it expldoes.

                                                                                                                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                                                                    Link's Awakening? I fucking loved that game.

                                                                                                                                    [–]funkymonkey1002 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                                                                    Well! Excuuuuuse me, Princess!

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                                                                                                                                      [–]AndyJarosz 42 points43 points ago

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                                                                                                                                      We're working on an official Bioshock film. Stay tuned.

                                                                                                                                      [–]cookedbread 58 points59 points ago

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                                                                                                                                      "This summer....on a far away planet that is 99% ocean...one man discovers an ancient alien underwater structure..."

                                                                                                                                      [–]Eso 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                                                                      "In a world..."

                                                                                                                                      [–]BZenMojo 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                                                                      "...where parasites leech off the greatness of the creative class..."

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                                                                                                                                        [–]MangoScango 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        Please be gentle.

                                                                                                                                        [–]nappi 19 points20 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        Would you kindly make it awesome?

                                                                                                                                        [–]32koala 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        Who is we.

                                                                                                                                        [–]AndyJarosz 14 points15 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        My production company. We're approaching it small, creating a short to hopefully generate enough interest to create a larger film.

                                                                                                                                        [–]mindbleach 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        It would be cheaper to build sets and props for a System Shock 2 movie, and you could keep the same script.

                                                                                                                                        [–]thomar 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                                                                        Yeah, but Bioshock's retro/steampunk aesthetics are better than System Shock's shiny future aesthetics.

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                                                                                                                                          [–]TehSexualNinja 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                                                          Hasn't it gotten stuck in development hell?

                                                                                                                                          Although I'd see it no matter how good it is.

                                                                                                                                          [–]AndyJarosz 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                                                                                          It got stuck by Universal due to ratings issues. We're approaching it a more traditional way by creating a short film which will be used as a launch platform for a larger film. This is how more independent films are made, the difference is Take-Two likes us.

                                                                                                                                          [–]TehSexualNinja 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                                                                          Sweet.

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                                                                                                                                              [–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              They'll never fuck this one up; I swear.

                                                                                                                                              [–]Gob_the_Second 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              They should make Rock'em Sock'em Robots: The Movie.

                                                                                                                                              Oh, wait...

                                                                                                                                              [–]Sinistersnare 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              That blue is a spy!

                                                                                                                                              [–]TL_CantRead 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              Blue is not Blue. Blue is red

                                                                                                                                              [–]HobomanZ 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              IIRC weren't they supposed to be making a Spy Hunter film starring The Rock about 10 years ago?

                                                                                                                                              [–]sterling_mallory 17 points18 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              I might be in the minority here, but I wasn't disappointed with Hitman the movie. Timothy Olyphant is pretty awesome. There was one cool scene in particular where the camera was situated behind him at the same 3rd person angle as the games, which was a nice little touch.

                                                                                                                                              [–]bulletbillx 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                                                                              It would have been better if they hadn't fired the director, and reedited it and added stupid scenes like the swordfight in the subway as well as the origin using stock footage from a fox tv show instead of the original subway fight and such. The director's version would have been even more like the game. Also he would have filled in the origin with the games origin in the sequel.

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                                                                                                                                                [–]bjester 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                                                                                has no one seen the mortal combat rebirth short?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiA_n1bAOWQ

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