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all 80 comments

[–]AMISHassassin 67 points68 points ago

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Jesus, Moses and an old man were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the green and rolled to within a couple feet of the hole. Moses hit second, and his ball also soared and landed close to the hole. Both looked over at the old man.

The old man took a few practice swings, then let loose on his ball. The ball flew off into the rough. Just then, a squirrel jumped over, grabbed the ball in his mouth and started running across the fairway. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, but before it could get too far, a bolt of lightning struck the bird. The ball fell and a sudden gust of wind dropped it directly into the hole.

Moses glared at Jesus and said: "I hate playing with your dad."

[–]EnjoyMyDownvote 2 points3 points ago

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?

Jesus has the same powers as his dad.

[–]OffColorCommentary 13 points14 points ago

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They have the same skill tree but Jesus and G-d are spec'd completely differently.

[–]5ee5 12 points13 points ago

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Yeah, Jesus took the healing route while God took the damage route.

[–]Popular-Uprising- 14 points15 points ago

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Jesus glared at the old man and said, "Quit showing off Dad."

[–]larkable 12 points13 points ago

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The old man smiles and says, "Lol umad?"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Judas, stop being a teamkilling dick.

[–]HeliosDenton 2 points3 points ago

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read that in Plato and a platypus

[–]funkenstein12 1 point2 points ago

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HOLY SHIT THAT BOOK WAS THE BOMB! In addition, I find I have actually seen many jokes posted on reddit that happen to be in that book.

[–]klapaucius 0 points1 point ago

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This happened in King of the Hill exactly once.

[–]EnjoyMyDownvote -1 points0 points ago

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too predictable

[–]tvtropesguy 10 points11 points ago

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you'd imagine the fish would just swim out into the water free spot meaning they could just pick them up from the ground

[–]cubey 22 points23 points ago

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You'd think so. Unless the same force that holds back the water holds everything else too. Maybe it's like a force field, and Moses has the field emitters hidden up his sleeves.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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don't bring logic into religion!!!!

[–]slnz 7 points8 points ago

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But forcefield emitters up someone's sleeve is such a good way to bring logic to any conversation...

[–]Owl_You_Need_Is_Love 10 points11 points ago

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Wow, my mom actually beat Reddit and showed this to me a few days ago.

[–]Intoxicated_Imp[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, I'm not surprised, it's quite old, and I just thought I'd upload it here ( I'm new though, so let's blame that ; )

[–]Riobe 1 point2 points ago

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I've never seen it before and this is awesome. Thanks for posting.

[–]NadirPointing -1 points0 points ago

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For me it was my dad, problem is he believes the stuff is real.

[–]ScottRockview 14 points15 points ago

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Cunt is an accurate description: it's wet and it parts.

[–]jaqq 0 points1 point ago

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Because vagina, right?

[–]Paasikivi 4 points5 points ago

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http://www.jarkkovehniainen.fi/muutsarjakuvat_Mooses.htm (website is in Finnish)

Second part of the comic. I can't find the original, but I do remember that it didn't use the Finnish equivalent of "cunt".

[–]pirkkko 2 points3 points ago

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"Mooses, tuo on lapsellista" ie. "Moses, that's childish"

http://www.glweb.org/gallery/index.php?n=nayta&albumi=1&kuva=84

[–]fondaTHEhonda 14 points15 points ago

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I saw this on Facebook yesterday. Except it didn't say cunt. Just "Moses, knock it off"

[–]aceoftrachs 11 points12 points ago

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NSFB

[–]NOVELTY_DOORBELLS 10 points11 points ago

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NSFFB

FTFY

[–]PoorLeno388 2 points3 points ago

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IYPTSOFAISEUSUOMFIWKYBSCTUYA

(If You Post This Shit On Facebook And It Somehow Ends Up Showing Up On My Feed I Will Kill You By Shoving Canned Tuna Up Your Ass)

[–]NOVELTY_DOORBELLS 2 points3 points ago

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This is my new favorite acronym.

[–]FruityPeebils 0 points1 point ago

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TIMNFA

[–]ryankrameretc 0 points1 point ago

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I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym

[–]rab777hp 0 points1 point ago

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If you look at the dialog box you can see it's been translated. Anyone have the original?

[–]fredthegreat 2 points3 points ago

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The look on Mose's face is kind of priceless.

[–]legendary_ironwood -1 points0 points ago

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It's kind of hokey.

[–]Champie 1 point2 points ago

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i enjoyed this a little too much!

[–]lollersk8r 1 point2 points ago

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are they trying to catch magikarp??

[–]carbocalm 1 point2 points ago

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[–]MustStopMasturbating 0 points1 point ago

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He had to do something to keep from going insane in his last 40 years of his life.

[–]nomnomgardettos 4 points5 points ago

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He could've bated

[–]the_goat_boy 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, Old Testament old.

[–]evandavis7 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one that thinks Moses looks a bit like Totoro?

[–]trevorcop 0 points1 point ago

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Moses is sparing him. He won't catch anything with just a hook, anyways...

[–]ElmertheAwesome 0 points1 point ago

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I read it as "Moose."
I was like "Lol. wut?"

[–]sevensections 0 points1 point ago

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Why does the man have testicles for palms?

[–]ben_lacy 0 points1 point ago

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Moses looks like Jim making faces at the camera like that.

[–]MouseHandSix 0 points1 point ago

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Didn't the Lord Part the Red sea using the Wind though? Though when the sea rejoined, it drowned all the Egyptians. If anyone asks about that, That part was Moses...

[–]duran272 0 points1 point ago

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even if there was water there...he still has no bait...

[–]jprone 0 points1 point ago

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Their skin pigmentation is off.

[–]Helter-Skeletor 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's that shit-eating grin that cracks me up every time.

[–]Censured 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for this. My grandmother and i shared a good laugh.

[–]KidTheFat 0 points1 point ago

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My mom had this posted in her cubicle for years. Thing is, the text was just "Moses, stop it!" no foul language. /shrug

[–]Coronos 0 points1 point ago

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"Cunt" really is the worst sounding curse word out there.

[–]JustTheTwoOfUs 0 points1 point ago

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Using pokeballs to catch fish? Thats something new.

[–]dougj182 -1 points0 points ago

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Well he'll never catch anything without any bait on his hook.

Unless... MOSES ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]byllgrim 5 points6 points ago

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maybe i suck ya dick

[–]ringo380 0 points1 point ago

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A toothless hobo said this to me at a gas station one time, for one dollar. True story. I spent all my money on the gas, though.

[–]penistouchingclown -1 points0 points ago

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?

[–]SpotsUsernames 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Moses2112 -1 points0 points ago*

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Okay.

EDIT: Downvoted for posting in a comic with my name in it, what's wrong with some people.

[–]tetzy -1 points0 points ago

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Sent a cleaner copy to my Mother

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy -4 points-3 points ago

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[–]Snowjam -1 points0 points ago

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Doesn't the jews believe the messiah hasn't come yet?

[–]rab777hp 0 points1 point ago

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Why is he being downvoted? Jews supposedly are waiting for a messiah.

[–]skyman117 -2 points-1 points ago

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So, now we're posting shit from the start of the internet?

[–]dezarae-riley -3 points-2 points ago

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dude, all those 'bible' characters were like that. the cartoon is really funny though

[–]nomnomgardettos 6 points7 points ago

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Like what? Cunts?

[–]DownvoteSlut -3 points-2 points ago

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Moses was a little cunt.

[–]ringo380 -1 points0 points ago

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More like, a little runt. Right, guys?

[–]DownvoteSlut 1 point2 points ago

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Two in the cunt, one in the runt.

[–]nomnomgardettos -1 points0 points ago

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.......no

[–]ringo380 0 points1 point ago

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:C