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all 142 comments

[–]ios_k 124 points125 points ago

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Remove that fakebook shit on the bottom, and we have a winner.

[–]kevinchewy[S] 56 points57 points ago

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shit i forgot I had changed that. Good thing it's only been sent to a handful of people. The rest of the school can get the updated edition.

[–]Spitfires 16 points17 points ago

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Dammit I've already posted it on my facebook

[–]jbigz 178 points179 points ago

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dAmMiT ~I~aLrDy ~poSteD iT On mYsPaCeEe*!!

[–]Ricktron5 22 points23 points ago

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Lol whore train

[–]cyberslick188 4 points5 points ago

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shit shawty holla @ u boy

[–]RyanFBaby 1 point2 points ago

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nice try sherm@ine

[–]Supertrinko 0 points1 point ago

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Dammit I already posted it on bebo.

Don't worry though, nobody's going to see it...

[–]downcat 6 points7 points ago

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I cropped that bit out first, and said I screencapped my email, so... should hold up, yes?

[–]damiancorbeil 4 points5 points ago

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My entire Facebook is decked out with this. Its all it says. And I'm spreading the hoax.

[–]davidcelis 27 points28 points ago

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Here is a version without the fakebook shit on the bottom. I removed the text altogether, as I doubt Facebook would have a page displaying only that. It works better if it's assumed that this is a page viewable by Facebook developers, IMO.

[–]RNCaptain 4 points5 points ago

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I think he's fine, it's like reading user agreements...nobody gives a shit about the small print.

[–]davidcelis 0 points1 point ago

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I posted it and within two minutes had a comment that said, "lol @ the text on the bottom"

[–]AlsoSprach 1 point2 points ago

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Get rid of all the registered and trademark symbols. Facebook doesn't put the R after their name and would only put the TM after "Gold" the first time it appeared on the page, if at all.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BreakingANDGentry 11 points12 points ago

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You do not want the who viewed your page function. Chinese social networking site 人人renren uses it.... and oh my. Try having a girlfriend that feature..... Typical browsing "oh cool xxxx just posted a new photo on her page click aww crap, now everyone can see I went there." also when your page views are all from girls, this is also another problem.

[–]lekkerlekker 5 points6 points ago

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If that feature were added, I would be forced to stop Facebook stalking my ex.

Now that would suck.

[–]PhilbertFlange 8 points9 points ago

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Pfft. I'm already on Facebook Diamond.

[–]macguffing 12 points13 points ago

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Well I am on Facebook Unobtanium. Take that, peasants.

[–]rtilde 1 point2 points ago

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Facebook? That's last decade shit. I'm on Headbook.

Get ahead, on Headbook®

[–]appleshampoo22 143 points144 points ago

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[–]myegoiscontrollingme 55 points56 points ago

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Oh my... This is another step in the deviously evil department. Just make sure no one sees the "Fakebook" tag at the bottom.

[–]bill_nydus 14 points15 points ago

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I feel like that's a saving grace for those who aren't internet smart or are a little naive, but are still nice people who take the time to read things.

[–]jcroucher56 6 points7 points ago

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Nice people? On my internet? I'll have none of that going on in my domains!

[–]nomnomgardettos 0 points1 point ago

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I'll try to block it from every single one of their eyes with MY BEAR FUCKING HANS

[–]viciousbreed 0 points1 point ago

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This brought up a disturbing image regarding multiple Han Solos.

[–]broomsweeper 4 points5 points ago

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I would like more of these comments posted.

[–]deadbeat5 9 points10 points ago

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YOU FOOLS! Don't you see how close this is to becoming a reality??

EVERYONE QUICK, ABANDON SHIP. TO THE EVERSO BEDAZZLING GOOGLE+!!

[–]Iamametameta 13 points14 points ago*

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For even more hilarity, use this picture as your profile pic.

EDIT: Get it here in higher quality; http://imgur.com/a/RLsnK#T7UNO (includes multiple images for your trolling pleasure)

[–]mrtommymoran 4 points5 points ago

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Just a heads up, you're getting downvoted for assuming that the average Redditor has a life, and didn't see that on the front-page yesterday (which is the point of this entire thread fyi), not because it's a bad idea.

Juussttt in case you were wondering :)

[–]Iamametameta 2 points3 points ago*

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Oh, uhh, I don't mind the karma. I was more or less referencing the picture itself; literally copied-and-pasted from my Facebook, which is naturally bad quality. I can try to find the higher-quality picture, but as you said, most people know of it; just informing the guy it's a good idea! Thanks though, mate.

Here's the troll pack if you want to use it; http://imgur.com/a/RLsnK#T7UNO

[–]king_of_the_universe 1 point2 points ago

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I believe the image quality might be related to the votes.

[–]appleshampoo22 0 points1 point ago

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Personally, I like the Facebook Bronze account idea. It says "I'm snobbish enough to pay money to upgrade Facebook, but only cheap enough to pay for the lowest tier." We need a Facebook Aluminum.

[–]EasyJim -1 points0 points ago

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Do you have a higher quality version?

[–]Iamametameta 0 points1 point ago

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[–]andrelegacy 0 points1 point ago

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too bad it's easy as fuck to pull your profile back after deleting it

[–]11oops 5 points6 points ago

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Not if you go through the real deletion procedure and then don't log in for 14 days. And since you won't get the Facebook Gold email until after the 14th day, it's all gone for good.

[–]jcroucher56 0 points1 point ago

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For it to actually get people, though, you'd have to actually delete your facebook or at least deactivate it for 14 days, say that you're getting fb gold or some shit, then bring it back on and post that you got gold.

[–]0goober0 0 points1 point ago

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Yea....Not sure people will think about it that hard if they're willing to try it in the first place.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That's not true. You can delete it. Don't believe me? Google it.

[–]throwawayo_O -2 points-1 points ago

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What I did before deactivating was individually delete every item from my wall, every photo, friend, like, etc... I realize they still probably have all of that past history, but no more.

Twitter too, I individually deleted every tweet or re-tweet, un-followed everyone (used jquery in the console to click 50 buttons at a time), and changed my name/info.

[–]jb700000 -2 points-1 points ago

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kool story bro XD

[–]mass-quarter 17 points18 points ago

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"'Nuff said" gives it away. Facebook doesn't use a lot of slang in its text. (Unless you're in Pirate mode.)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Also, the sentence that begins with "By joining now" starts with two spaces, but the rest of the sentences begin with one.

[–]bobyhey123 2 points3 points ago

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I doubt anyone falling for this would pick up on that. Valid point though.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ZeroShift 177 points178 points ago

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If you're dumb enough to fall for their schemes, then you deserve it.

Brace for downvotes

[–]cardern 32 points33 points ago

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Ha! If you think I'm going to downvote you, then I'll just upvote you!

But wait! Maybe that was your strategy all along, and you think that I think that you want me to downvote you, so I actually WILL downvote you!

But wait! What if you think that I think that you think that I will downvote you? That would mean that I should actually UPVOTE you to counteract your devious line of reasoning!

ack poison upvotes, curses!

[–]Diabeticon 19 points20 points ago

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are you the guy for whom the domain facebookgold.com "HAS JUST BEEN REGISTERED" (their caps, not mine)?

[–]kevinchewy[S] 39 points40 points ago

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Unfortunately, no. But the "get started" button does link to login page. After "signing in" you get rick rolled.

[–]Brosef_Stalin94 12 points13 points ago

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You sir are a genius

[–]ChristGuard 1 point2 points ago

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May I get a link for this page please???? Also, you need to post a version of this that works in email =D

[–]kevinchewy[S] 1 point2 points ago

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http://refile.net/f/?b3u (Just threw it up on some random file sharing site)

[–]johnnymetoo 0 points1 point ago

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Doesn't work for German users: YouTube says: "Unfortunately, this video is not available in Germany because it may contain music for which GEMA has not granted the respective music rights."

[–]BlueElephants 0 points1 point ago

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Use the Proxytube add-on (available on chrome and firefox). FUCK GEMA.

[–]johnnymetoo 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks, wasn't aware of its existence.

[–]mik3 9 points10 points ago

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created: 24-Aug-2007 http://whoisn.com/lookup.php?domain=facebookgold.com&button1=Check

Someone's been sitting on it for a while.

[–]Justintime233 18 points19 points ago

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Please tell me the New User Guide is a link to Lemonparty or Meatspin.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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So you're going to phish people?

Not bad.

[–]CarnivalForce 3 points4 points ago

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My thoughts exactly. Nice...

[–]Ilovebacon3 22 points23 points ago

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So when this comes out... will reddit be a hipster?

[–]clustahz 4 points5 points ago

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if y ou have to ask, you dont "get" facebook gold

[–]Nwolfe 4 points5 points ago

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The Netflix bonus is too much to swallow.

[–]Twigkid 3 points4 points ago

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Let thy trolling commence!

[–]ThatGuy28 3 points4 points ago

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i can see this causing a law suit

[–]TheIrishman1up 4 points5 points ago

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OTHER BRAND NEW FACEBOOK OPTIONS: Facebook Silver: Free set of steak knives Facebook Bronze: A FREE email calling you a cheap asshole and asking why you aren't upgrading to gold Facebook Tin: FREE account deactivation Facebook Brown: A man comes to your house and pisses on your face.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Why do I foresee Facebook actually pulling something like this by Spring 2012??

[–]LunaMcLovin 2 points3 points ago

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Does this Facebook Gold Netflix account come with seasons 2-6 of Firefly? I hope so.

[–]TheCodexx 0 points1 point ago

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I have to admit: If Facebook funded seasons 2-7 of Firefly, and they weren't a major step down in quality, I may actually use the service in the future.

[–]spacemanspiff30 1 point2 points ago

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Must see this in the wild

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, this is almost as good as getting emails from people wanting my bank details and selling me viagra. Remind me why it's cool to turn yourself into a phishing bot?

[–]mishnak 1 point2 points ago

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Sorry, hate to be a stickler, but the typography isn't quite right. Steal the styles from this, ditch the fakebook, and yes, good work.

[–]mccscott 1 point2 points ago

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I feel dirty posting this on my facebook page. And I like it.Thanks!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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if you want to use an online photoshop program for free, I recommend Pixlr.com

[–]lazyduke 1 point2 points ago

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Why the fuck not use Photoshop Express Editor if you want an online Photoshop program for free?

http://www.photoshop.com/tools/expresseditor?wf=editor

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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0_0 ooo thats snazzy

[–]lazyduke 0 points1 point ago

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If you like that, you'll love The GIMP, and if you're already a Photoshop user, but don't own a copy, you'll love GIMPShop even more!

[–]thisgoesnowhere 1 point2 points ago

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I cant use GIMP, the windows ruin the experience for me :(

[–]lazyduke 1 point2 points ago

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Hmm, care to explain more? Have you tried GIMPShop?

[–]thisgoesnowhere 0 points1 point ago

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The fact that all of the tools open in new windows makes it unable for me to use. They cover up my work. I just want to have them locked to the side like in Photoshop. GIMP Shop does not help this (as far as I know).

[–]lazyduke 0 points1 point ago

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I kinda see what you're saying... I find the tools menu appearing in odd places, but I just move it. I do have a gigantic monitor and a side monitor though, so I manage to find places for all sorts of extra windows.

[–]thisgoesnowhere 1 point2 points ago

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Bastard, I wish I had a nice monitor. I'm stuck with a shitty HP laptop with a 15 inch monitor. Oh, and 30 seconds of battery life!

[–]Divine_E 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, Windows would ruin my experience for me too. That's why I use Linux.

[–]lazyduke 1 point2 points ago

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Use Photoshop Express Editor if you'd like #1 now.

[–]nodstar22 1 point2 points ago

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My only suggestion would be to replace 'spring' with a month name. Facebook wouldn't advertise something with a launch date of a specific season as 'spring' occurs at different times all over the world.

[–]schmrtz 1 point2 points ago*

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Kind off.... reminds me of this.....Let The Hacking Begin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLNW-WGLldI&feature=related

:)

[–]ziggymilson 1 point2 points ago

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[–]SwiftSpear 1 point2 points ago

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COMMENCE TROLLING IN T MINUS...

[–]gistak 1 point2 points ago

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Ha! Only, get rid of most of the TM stuff. It only goes on the first (or most prominent) time a name is mentioned, and that's it. Not that most people would notice, but I would.

[–]zomgheals 1 point2 points ago

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Grammar error.

You need to put a space between Gold and You (Under Netflix).

Other than that, we have a winner!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]jennaberry 29 points30 points ago

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Plebeian facebook users believed a rumor that there was going to be a new service - Facebook Gold

[–]theycallmemari 11 points12 points ago

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Upvote for use of the word "plebeian"

[–]Hoobleton 5 points6 points ago

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After watching Rome and reading a textbook on Ancient Roman Law, this word is fully assimilated into my vocabulary, I couldn't be happier.

[–]GameFreak4321 1 point2 points ago

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I won an internet argument with an ad hominem use of that word!

[–]altmuzac 1 point2 points ago

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it started as a joke on 4chan making fun of Reddit gold? If I'm wrong please disregard and enjoy this picture of a dog on a surfboard from cuteoverload.com

[–]TheCodexx 0 points1 point ago

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Facebook Gold predates Reddit Gold by a year or more. It started as a troll attempt. Reddit Gold may actually be a reference to it. But the current wave of Facebook Gold jokes is a result of the rumor that Facebook has a plan to charge people in the near future. Someone started it as a spam e-mail/copypasta and it spread like all copypasta cancer does on Facebook.

[–]jennaberry 0 points1 point ago

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That was a while ago, I think. Back around when /r9k/ started. I'm not entirely sure.

[–]groof 3 points4 points ago

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Those would all be useful additions for FB... shame we'll never see them.

[–]omahadre 2 points3 points ago

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I want a dislike button!

[–]Irishfury86 1 point2 points ago

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I know this is fake, but this could be a seriously sound long term business plan for Facebook.

[–]Black_Apalachi 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps, if Google+ didn't exist.

[–]TheCodexx 0 points1 point ago

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With no competition, people might put up with it. With viable alternatives, any change will push them away.

What's remarkable is how many people will complain about changes to Facebook and have done so for the past couple years, but when an alternative arrives they decided to just deal with it until the next Facebook update, then more of them jumped ship.

As a long-term business plan, it's useless. They have marketers giving them tons of money both for direct data and to overlook their security holes. It's more profitable than Facebook Gold would ever be. The only point that Facebook Gold would be reasonable is when Facebook is on the decline and the only people really using the service anymore are the people who love the site and are supremely loyal to it.

[–]zhilothebest 0 points1 point ago

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Make this a website. Now. We must pass this out now!

[–]saveyoursoul 0 points1 point ago

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I posted it to my wall and asked if anyone else wanted an invite.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Does this actually sound kind of cool? I mean if facebook gold were a thing, and I already pay for netflix, this wouldn't be all that bad.

[–]Born4theslaughter 0 points1 point ago

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So much win

[–]ceilingdweller 0 points1 point ago

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Dislike button. Genius.

[–]Maos0 0 points1 point ago

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I can't decide if I like the "dislike" part more, or the fact that the entire thing is a glorious satire

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I like the little "fakebook" troll down at the bottom...touches it up nicely

[–]magiclamp 0 points1 point ago

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Dang...I'm half tempted, just because of the dislike button.

[–]slrove 0 points1 point ago

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What would be sad is if facebook designed and built a paid service and then people paid for its service. Holy shhhheeeeiiiittt I just got the chills. Sick.

[–]dapostman10 0 points1 point ago

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Whatt????? No Quickster??? I'll stick with Facebook Silver...

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

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9/10. For the whole 10, you're going to need a URL that looks convincing enough to be affiliated with Facebook and link it to this.

edit: Just saw the comment which explains how it's an actual page. Disregard comment!

[–]BlondeJesus 0 points1 point ago

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How many times do I have to repost this on my facebook account in order to receive the benefits?

[–]tone_ 0 points1 point ago

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I like how the internet has ruined any possibility of any charge service from Facebook in the future (regardless of it they would or not) by trolling so hard that no one would actually believe it.

[–]taikila 0 points1 point ago

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adds the ability to have a gif as a profile picture and they will run for it....

[–]RunsWithASqueegee 0 points1 point ago

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Shit, I just bought a year of silver last week. Can I upgrade?

[–]sgspectra 0 points1 point ago

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are you going phishing?

[–]adanufgail 0 points1 point ago

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If I were Zuckerberg, I'd make Facebook Gold just to troll the trolls.

[–]endercoaster 0 points1 point ago

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Not sure if satire

Or phishing

[–]mezo_surfer 0 points1 point ago

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Clever. Have an upvote for such cleverness

[–]cynic573 0 points1 point ago

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Facebook font is wrong.

Not bad, though.

[–]wagedomain 0 points1 point ago

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Include a link to your paypal account.

[–]opaqueistaken -1 points0 points ago

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The dumbass line in the bottom will tip off clever people, but clever people won't fall for this anyway. Now to sit back and enjoy complete morons flipping more of a shit then they already have been.

[–]A1ka1inE -1 points0 points ago

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SWEET.

[–]edu723 -1 points0 points ago

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please tell me the button leads to lemonparty.com

[–]jamiegs -1 points0 points ago

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Ugh, it's people like you that cause me to get calls and dumb facebook posts from all the non-tech savvy people I know asking me about crap like this.

[–]Bunnylover -2 points-1 points ago

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Bastard. I thought I had gone to Facebook, like I always do after browsing Reddit, and saw this Facebook Gold membership. I was so confused D:.

[–]let_it_rattle -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Congratulations, Sir. You have won the internetz.

[–]lovethemood -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You don't get it, if ya'll don't quit this shit they will sooner learn about the idea and it will come true, dooming us all!

[–]hayden_evans -2 points-1 points ago

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Can we start charging idiots already?

[–]enefoo -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If something is simple enough, you don't need "'Nuff said". Because, guess what? Enough has been said.

[–]gloomdoom -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you doing what right? Wasting your time to create meaningless internet content? Yep...looks like you're doing a smash up job of it, old coot.