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top 200 commentsshow all 366

[–]jurble 136 points137 points ago

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Now hold on here, Columbus had no intention of actually living in the new world. He just wanted to make money off of it. To celebrate Columbus Day properly, you must walk into some guy's house (but that house must be unknown to the bulk of the world's population) and then enslave him to grow sugar cane. When he dies, you must replace him with a black guy.

[–][deleted] 92 points93 points ago

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You have to walk into someone's house and say "Oh wow, I was just trying to find a new way to my friend Mike's place, totally didn't know your house was even here." Then a few days later, some of your housemates come and move in, beat up the guy who lives there, and then trick some of the people from next door to come in and do all the chores.

[–]tgunter 28 points29 points ago

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Columbus didn't ever realize he hadn't made it to India. Which is why he called the natives "Indians."

So more accurately, you'd walk into a stranger's house and start calling them "Mike."

[–]Rusty-Shackleford 1 point2 points ago

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"Yo, Mickey, you owe me some spices and sugar. Pay up, Bitch!"

"who's Mike?..."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Very good point.

[–]mynameisfrank 35 points36 points ago

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then trick some of the people

And by trick you mean forcibly enslave on threat of death.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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To-may-to, To-mah-to.

[–]Rusty-Shackleford 0 points1 point ago

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actually, a lot of European merchant literally tricked Native Americans onto their ships, implying that all they wanted to do was trade furs for guns, etc.

[–]MisterSquirrel 1 point2 points ago

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And don't forget to have one of your housemates bring the smallpox with him.

[–]hostergaard 1 point2 points ago

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Later on these housemates decides to let him sleep in the pantry but then they got hungry, found out most of the food where in the pantry and proceeded to beat him up agian and relocate him to the laundry room. Rinse and repeat.

[–]cdigioia 15 points16 points ago

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Don't forget to bang his daughter, or at least give her to one of your cohorts as a bonus sex slave.

Also, I believe you first enslave him to fetch gold for you, then to grow sugar cane. What's wrong with this generation I tell ya...no sense of traditional values.

[–]absoluteskeptic 6 points7 points ago

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When he dies, you must replace him with a black guy.

When he dies, you must replace him with an European indentured servant. Then, when he dies from malaria or gets his freedom, and the slave trade is up in running, then use Africans.

[–]808140 3 points4 points ago*

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I don't think indentured servants came before slaves, but rather were contemporaneous with them. In fact, linguists analysing the origins of African-American Vernacular English have observed that it has more in common with a number of British English dialects than it does with island creoles and West African languages, which had been popularly ascribed influences in the early days.

[–]leafrepublic 0 points1 point ago

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TIL

[–]absoluteskeptic 0 points1 point ago

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To be fair, Spanish/Portuguese slave trade was different than British (or Dutch or French). I believe more than 80% of the slaves went to South America and the Spanish/Portuguese trade started sooner... but by 1600 only 3% of the total number of slaves were brought over.

So, any slave movement to the Caribbean near Columbus' time was slight, and any to North America was insignificant.

As a matter of fact, Irish indentured servants (slaves and prisoners, really) were the British Empires' first source of manual labor, especially in the Caribbean. I'm not too knowledgeable about Spanish/Portuguese methods of obtaining manual labor, but I'd wager that they used the natives as long as they could and only switched to Africans because of necessity and profit. In between, there must have been quite a few Europeans and North Africans who found themselves Shanghaied or worse.

[–]waffleninja 1 point2 points ago

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Bring me your gold or I will cut off your hands.

-Christopher Columbus

http://www.bluecorncomics.com/columbu1.htm

Columbus, desperate to pay back dividends to those who had invested, had to make good his promise to fill the ships with gold. In the province of Cicao on Haiti, where he and his men imagined huge gold fields to exist, they ordered all persons fourteen years or older to collect a certain quantity of gold every three months. When they brought it, they were given copper tokens to hang around their necks. Indians found without a copper token had their hands cut off and bled to death.

The Indians had been given an impossible task. The only gold around was bits of dust garnered from the streams. So they fled, were hunted down with dogs, and were killed.

Trying to put together an army of resistance, the Arawaks faced Spaniards who had armor, muskets, swords, horses. When the Spaniards took prisoners they hanged them or burned them to death. Among the Arawaks, mass suicides began, with cassava poison. Infants were killed to save them from the Spaniards. In two years, through murder, mutilation, or suicide, half of the 250,000 Indians on Haiti were dead.

[–]Dyl4nTheVillain 0 points1 point ago

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thirdamendmant

[–]Sumthingwitty 70 points71 points ago*

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While this will get buried. Remember that the true damage of the European armies occurred when the conquistadors landed and small pox became present in colonial America. This would go on to devastate the American tribes coast to coast.. While we can no sooner excuse Columbus action or any of the European powers that treated native populations as sub-human .

If you want to be truly be upset by European actives please understand that the deck was stack from the onset. As no one on this side of the "pond" has any immunity to small pox. this alone guaranteed success of European efforts, the European mortality rate of around (I think) 30+% of the period compared to accounts of in excess of 50% for native populations.

Furthermore , Europeans had learn the art (if you will) of resisting a Calvary charge over the course of 3000 years and they had learned how to charge over that same period. The native populations had no such knowledge. The nature of Mesoamerican warfare was far different from European style. with emphasis on taking prisoners over out right killing individuals.

Also the political structure is vastly different from what you were taught in school it was not natives vs Europeans it was 1 nation vs the other 499 with Europeans being potential allies to those who best serve the purpose. As we see with the early Spanish conquests native auxiliaries made up A HUGE portion of the military and were vital to the success of the conquest(and some dumb luck).

So given the situation any Eurasian based power that landed would quickly decimate the landscape with disease. As well any potential political interactions with the tribes would lead the European into war vs historical enemies. That would quickly be decimated by better equipment and tactics of the Europeans and the far more casualty intensive combat the Europeans engaged in. Given the situation I can see no other historical outcome.

So while the history of America is ripe with abuses of the native population try to understand that history is very rarely a good and evil situation. Try not to have 20/20 hindsight but instead view it from the time of 15th century and 16th century.

Tl:Dr; history sucks but I can see no other historical outcome for European involvement in the Americas other then European domination.

[–]Telepathetic 16 points17 points ago

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It's easy to understand how the native populations had no experience with cavalry charges since there had been no horses in the Americas since the Ice Age.

[–]AreYouReadyToReddit 12 points13 points ago

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Just like its also easy to understand why they used dogs as pack animals and a food source in North America. No cows, no pigs, no horses, no sheep. Just herds of undomesticated roaming bison.

I live in a place where we celebrate Native American Day on the 10th of October, not Columbus Day. >>

[–]Telepathetic 9 points10 points ago

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There was someone (maybe Jared Diamond?) who suggested that because Native Americans generally didn't live with domesticated animals, they had relatively cleaner living conditions compared to contemporary Europeans. As such, diseases such as smallpox could not evolve to infect humans in the New World. Which inevitably led to catastrophic deaths when the Native Americans were finally exposed to those diseases.

[–]AreYouReadyToReddit 10 points11 points ago*

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I would argue the the quality of European living conditions had less to do with animals, and more with high population density in small areas. But yes, the lack of disease creation led to weaker immune responses.

I also want to mention (because I think this is a cool little tidbit of history!) that smallpox inoculation actually finds its roots in smooth skinned milk maids and Cow Pox. It was noticed over time that milk maids always had smooth skin--to the point that it became a sterotype and even used in folks dongs. This suggested they had never had been exposed to small poxs. (Survivors of small pox are quite scarred on their skin.) Research discovered they were being passively immunized by milking cows that had cow pox.
Cool Source 1 Cool Source 2

But let's be fair. Small Pox Aside, the Native's forced social change into an environment with alcohol and sudden dependence on manufactured goods really did their part too.

tl:dr History is fun!

[–]ChaosMotor[!] 4 points5 points ago

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it became a sterotype and even used in folks dongs

Great typo! ;)

[–]AreYouReadyToReddit 1 point2 points ago

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doh! lol

[–]RumpleDumple 1 point2 points ago

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Yep. In 'Guns, Germs, & Steel' he says many 'human' diseases actually originated in domesticated animals.

[–]donutmancuzco 0 points1 point ago

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In South America they did. Ever seen a Peruvian dog? Those things are nasty looking. Also, Llamas and Alpacas.

[–]Telepathetic 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, that's why I threw in the "generally" part.

[–]Sinthesys 2 points3 points ago

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The history of man is the history of guns, germs and steel.

[–]nakizo 3 points4 points ago

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That would make an excellent book title.

[–]Sinthesys 0 points1 point ago

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Touche, Mr. Diamond.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Columbus' crime was a more personal one: the enslavment and extermination of the Arawaks on Hispaniola. You are largely right about the mechanics of subjugation used by Europeans in general, but our grand admiral had his personal crimes to account for as well. I hope to see him in hell.

[–]boywbrownhare 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You know, I've been meaning to read this. There were a few excerpts in A People's History of the US, but the source material is now on my "soon" list.

[–]boywbrownhare 1 point2 points ago

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it's a crusher.

[–]AreYouReadyToReddit 3 points4 points ago

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I hope to see him in hell.

I just hope he talked like Mario when he was a live. : (

"Hey Indians, itsa me Columbus! We thinka we landed in India!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I hope to see you there, too. We can all have a tea party.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Hmmm, we must already be in hell because the Tea Party is already up and running.

[–]etherghost 4 points5 points ago

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it's almost like the inertia of human nature is to exploit others!

who can blame the Europeans? the deal was too easy and too profitable to pass!

[–]Cleanup-Isle6 -2 points-1 points ago

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Remember that the true damage of the European armies occurred when the conquistadors landed and small pox became present in colonial America.

Nope. Disease was rampant but the conquistadors' numbers were still too small....the TRUE damage was caused by the fact that regional tribes were willing to align themselves with the Spaniards and go to war against other factions that they had quarrels with for many years.

The natives killed themselves in Latin America.

[–]Sumthingwitty 5 points6 points ago

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Sure, i never me to say that that what caused the early victories. I also do mention the auxiliaries in P3. But the largest number of fatalities over the next hundred years in native populations did not come at the end of Spanish or native weapons. Instead came from smallpox and disease.

The early conquest particular could be almost viewed a Nobel class based rebellion that the Spanish just happened to show up and help. my statement was based that after the introduction of small pox and the damage it would cause it would be very hard to stop continual continental presence by the Europeans.

*I guess I should also say then wen I said quickly. I really wanted that to come off as historically quickly.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Can't really blame the other natives for hating the Aztecs, considering what absolute fucking dicks the Aztecs were.

[–]Wahakalaka 2 points3 points ago

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Or even Cortez for that matter- I can picture him landing and being like wtf is this horrible place... unfortunately he set a pretty bad precedent...

[–]donutmancuzco 0 points1 point ago

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I wouldn't really call Pre-Columbus Tenochtitlan a horrible place.

[–]Downvote_Depository 0 points1 point ago

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If only the Indians had property laws, this whole country could have been avoided.

[–]facepoppies 4 points5 points ago

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Scumbag Europe: Use imperialistic colonization procedures for hundreds of years, blame Columbus and the Americans.

[–]I_am_Bob 40 points41 points ago

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Lets also remember that Columbus never stepped foot on anything that is now or ever has been part of the United States.

[–]woozlew 42 points43 points ago

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Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands don't count?

[–]I_am_Bob 12 points13 points ago

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Ehh.. I guess insular territories are technically the United States.

[–]woozlew -4 points-3 points ago

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And the Marines are in Haiti more often than not, so that could count too.

[–]DoTheEvolution 0 points1 point ago

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furiously downvoted

heh I mean sigh

[–]sentinelofdarkness 22 points23 points ago

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and lets also remember that Columbus was late, we (Icelanders) found America waaaay before that hax of a discoverer..

[–]tofagerl 34 points35 points ago

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Sure, except you weren't icelanders then, you were norwegians. Just like you will be again soon, we're just giving you a little "break". Like Ross and Rachel on Friends :)

[–]RatCapers 4 points5 points ago

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Nice of you to let Denmark have its way with Iceland for a century or so...

[–]tofagerl 1 point2 points ago

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Yep, we told Sweden to fuck up the negotiations so Denmark wouldn't feel bad.

[–]RatCapers 4 points5 points ago

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Ummm, didn't the treaty of Kiel make Norway basically non existent and stated that Norway never owned Iceland.

[–]jonathanrdt 9 points10 points ago

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No one is giving him credit for being first, but his voyages resulted in many more and the eventual mass migrations westward.

What resulted from your hax discovers' actions?

Edit: I'm not saying Columbus deserves any recognition as a man.

[–]Ze_Carioca 5 points6 points ago

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Should have told someone about it.

[–]TomorrowPlusX 2 points3 points ago

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Sure, but did you stick around? Nope.

[–]DaedalusJacobson 4 points5 points ago

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Well, the native Americans' ancestors discovered it millennia before that...

[–]sentinelofdarkness 0 points1 point ago

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touché!

[–]mikbe 24 points25 points ago

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Columbus discovering America is like me discovering your wallet.

[–]Munchroom 3 points4 points ago

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in your pants and stabbing you when I take it.

[–]lessplasticplease 7 points8 points ago

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White guilt is great entertainment for us non whites. Keep it up.

[–]seweroutlet 4 points5 points ago

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Let me drink in that white guilt... ahh yeah thats the stuff.

[–]DonNico 55 points56 points ago*

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Israelis apparently celebrate Columbus Day every day!

[–]grammarnazi900 16 points17 points ago

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Wait, so an Israeli has an 'apparently' and somehow it celebrates Columbus Day every day?

[–]SBringer 2 points3 points ago

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Hey now's, I like to throw's some apostrophe's around a lot! Its really the best of all thing's.

[–]hjqusai 3 points4 points ago

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oh brother... mind taking your bs back to r/worldnews?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Second comment in and we've changed the conversation to Israel. Well done, reddit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know how we manage, but we always do.

[–]SaneDunk 1 point2 points ago

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Hah, so you just threw away all the archaeological evidence of Jews living all over Israel before the arabs?

[–]plana 5 points6 points ago

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What does that have to do with Israel/Palestine? And of course you do know that Palestine existed for thousands of years before Judaism existed? And many self described palestinians ARE Jewsih..

[–]323157 0 points1 point ago

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So as long as you have ancestors that lived somewhere once you have the right to kick people out of their current land and homes, right?

How fucking convenient that Israel thinks this only applies to Jews, as they refuse any right of return to Palestinians. Its a racist, scumbag of a state and you have to be completely foolish not to see this.

[–]323157 8 points9 points ago

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I started reading Howard Zinn's 'A peoples history' recently and began wondering actually how much land is a group of people technically entitled to based on having arrived on it first? I mean, does being on a continent warrant owning the whole continent? Or just a small amount? Or is it irrelevant as there was no concept of land ownership for Native Americans?

I was wondering about this with relation to Israel as well. And every other country for that matter. Why should people in Saudi Arabia get to 'own' the oil there simply because they were lucky enough to have ancestors that ended up near the oil? Land/resource ownership is a very tricky concept.

[–]charley_patton 12 points13 points ago

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Because property and ownership are contrived legal entities with no basis in the real world beyond "because I said so." If you ask "Who are you?" the response is generally along the lines of "The guy with a gun."

In the absence of government you have no ownership and if you start a government you will usually begin by saying the land belongs to the people who are currently standing on it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]strolls 0 points1 point ago

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Exactly. There is none.

[–]qbslug 0 points1 point ago

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No one is entitled to any land! There is no divine ownership of land! If there were then cockroaches own all land because they were everywhere first - or similarly we all own Africa since all of our ancestors are from Africa. How do you claim ownership - is it only the exact places where your ancestors stepped foot? You can't even define something like that. If two people want to roam or claim a land as their own and are unwilling to share with each other then they go to war for it until one is killed or concedes defeat. The winning group of people then do with the land what they want until someone challenges them again for that land. This is just from our inherited tribal mentality just like a pack of wolves or a pride of lions. Its simple really - well until a large and powerful government is formed on that land and they trade land for other commodities.

[–]10maxpower01 0 points1 point ago

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"No one is entitled to any land" <-- That's what we(the Native Americans) thought to begin with.

[–]WigginIII 8 points9 points ago

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No joke, my sophomore English teacher who was like 1/16th Cherokee didn't allow her students to celebrate Columbus day.

Instead we celebrated "happy murderous international pirate day."

[–]Dominiking 1 point2 points ago

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Now thats a good name for the Holiday.

[–]bogart1980 1 point2 points ago

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I'd love to get that card.

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points ago

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And pre-Columbian Indians never waged war on anyone. No kidnappings, rapes, warfare, slavery, or mass killings. No conquering of land of other Indians who were there before them.

[–]CowFu 83 points84 points ago

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Modern guilt will always say the land belongs to the person who had it directly before who had it now.

There was a case in canada recently where the mohawk tribe was arguing they deserved to have their land restored to them, and a smaller tribe that had been taken over by the mohawks was saying they were there before them, and didn't understand why the mohawks had the right to the land but they didn't. (having trouble finding link, the story is a couple years old)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Unless your Israeli, then you have no land no matter how long you lived there... cough 3,000 years.

[–]3lementaru 9 points10 points ago

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The native situation in Canada is quite ridiculous. They have Native Status cards which exempt them from tax at most retailers, they have the choice of staying on an all-amenities-paid reserve or living in one of the cities at a drastically reduced price, they have $2-5k bursaries for university which apply even if you're 1/4 native, and yet you still see so many of them roaming around homeless, hopelessly addicted to drugs and booze, and the other portion of the population is fighting a legal war for exemplary rights that date back hundreds of years.

You have to wonder at what point things got so messed up for them.

[–]captain_nosferatu 44 points45 points ago

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when you fuck up entire generations, it has severe repercussions for their ability to raise well-adjusted kids and leads to a self-perpetuating cycle.

[–]3lementaru 8 points9 points ago

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Ah, the white man...

[–]Shannaniganns 4 points5 points ago

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always causing trouble for everyone else.

[–]MisterSquirrel 0 points1 point ago

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More of a pinkish-beige, actually.

[–]owenbrown 3 points4 points ago

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on an all-amenities-paid reserve

haha, so like a Sudanese refugee camp? Conditions on rez might not be that bad, but that's the most ridiculous way I have ever heard someone describe a reserve. Conditions are terrible.

[–]fallway 1 point2 points ago

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At what point? Probably all of the structural discrimination that is inherent in all of our social institutions. Yeah, they are exempt from tax and yada yada yada. Doesn't matter when your family is falling apart and you have dozens of other problems that are far more pressing. You think they enjoy living in reserves? Why do you think the natives that live off the reserves live FAR more prosperous lives? It's like if you live in a ghetto... hey, why dont' you just get a job? why don't you just get an education? You can't always will yourself into a better situation. Life doesn't work that way.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 0 points1 point ago

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Replace the phrase "and yet" in your post with "so, naturally"

[–]Everypony 2 points3 points ago

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there was a case in Canada recently

link is a couple years old.

[–]CowFu 5 points6 points ago

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It still feels like Avatar came out recently, and that was in 2009.

[–]Oatybar 4 points5 points ago

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2009 is pretty damn recent in my book.

[–]edwartica 0 points1 point ago

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Oh God, this is so true! My area of town just went through a gentrification. Before, it was a mostly African-American area. But what people forget, is that BEFORE that it was mostly Germans and Swedish.

[–]Jubinator 1 point2 points ago*

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Well the situation in Canada is much more complex then you make it out to be. In the United States, the aboriginals were conquered and therefore it is fairly clear who owns the land. In Canada, the government decided to make several legally binding treaties with the aboriginals and then decided not to honour them and take the land anyways. That is why there are so many land claims, because the government has a legal obligation to honour the treaties.

EDIT: Apparently I was wrong about the Native Americans in the United States being conquered. It seems they made several treaties as well, however they decided not to honour them.

[–]greggvl 9 points10 points ago

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The US gov't has plenty of legally binding treaties which it decided not to honor. Hell, the Cherokees won a Supreme Court case to keep land near Atlanta, and then Andrew Jackson was all "Nope".

[–]Hyperian 0 points1 point ago

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laws only exists for parties that agrees it. otherwise it's who has the biggest guns.. and rapes the most women.

[–]Jubinator 0 points1 point ago

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Really, well that is pretty messed up then. It makes you realize how easy it would be for the government to fuck you over.

[–]greggvl 0 points1 point ago

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As with a mother bear and her cub, it is dangerous to stand between those with political power and the things that they want.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]lastwind 3 points4 points ago

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I've always wondered why there isn't any Native terrorist group. Based on the fact you said that, I'm assuming you're a European-American who has seen Dances With Wolves a lot of times.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Jubinator 0 points1 point ago

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Well I will admit that, as a Canadian, I am ignorant to the situation of the aboriginals in the United States, however that is how it was explained to me. I will have to look into it more.

[–]MetacomCreative 2 points3 points ago

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It's a shame that most people don't know much First Nation's history. I am not attacking you, or pointing my finger at you, but you just brought up a subject that I feel strongly about. Most people learn in grade school that the Europeans came to America, had Thanksgiving, wiped out the Indians, and then that was that.

People don't understand that to this day there are still major issues that American Indians face. Those that do realize there are still American Indians in existence think they all own casinos, and get to go to college for free. "Oh, they live on reservations and just live off Government checks!"

The fact of the matter is, most rez's don't have casinos, and a vast amount of people who live on them are living in complete poverty. American Indians have some of the highest suicide rates in the country, a lot of them being youth suicides.

I realize I went off on a tangent, but I guess it's hard to stop when you get on a rambling rant, haha.

[–]boywbrownhare 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Jubinator 0 points1 point ago

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Well I am very familiar with the Canadian situation with regards to aboriginals. However you have inspired me to look into the situation in the United States in more detail.

[–]MetacomCreative 1 point2 points ago

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Again, I apologize if I came across as attacking you. I was actually mostly referring to American's who didn't have much knowledge of First Nations in our own country. You seem like you know more than most people, and I am glad that you have taken the time to learn.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Actually you stole the land from the Buffalo, go home to caves you filthy humans.

[–]Mr-Personality 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah, pretty much everyone was in the same business. Here's the C-man himself talking about slavery.

Many of the men I have seen have scars on their bodies, and when I made signs to them to find out how this happened, they indicated that people from other nearby islands come to San Salvador to capture them; they defend themselves the best they can. I believe that people from the mainland come here to take them as slaves. They ought to make good and skilled servants, for they repeat very quickly whatever we say to them. I think they can very easily be made Christians, for they seem to have no religion. If it pleases our Lord, I will take six of them to Your Highnesses when I depart, in order that they may learn our language.

So yeah... slaved if you do, slaved if you don't.

[–]quaxon 6 points7 points ago

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I don't see us having a national holiday for them, so I don't see your point.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Guess that makes it okay then.

[–]DaedalusJacobson 14 points15 points ago

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Two wrongs make a right?

[–]random314 2 points3 points ago

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Seriously, to be fair, just about every single large civilization on this planet did this.

[–]al0newestand 4 points5 points ago

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The difference is that a so called "civilized" world like Britain was supposed to be able to work out some sort of agreement without genocide. For example in today's world, we wouldn't accept this as okay. The Native Americans were culturally undeveloped in comparison. In any case, even if they did wrong before us, it doesn't give us to do wrong to them. Eye for an eye and all that, eh?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Probably_immortal 2 points3 points ago

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Sir, have you read up on the age called "The Renaissance"?

[–]RamBamBooey 3 points4 points ago

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Pre-Columbian Indians never killed 80%-90% of the population of two entire continents. Between 25 million and 100 million people killed. (Population estimates are difficult because all writings and documents were destroyed and anyone adhering to the old culture and religion were killed.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-Columbian_population

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Those supposed numbers get more inflated every year. The range of high/low is so great as to be worthless. They don't know shit on actual numbers. Not even in the ballpark.

Also, subtract the deaths caused by European and African diseases. It wasn't like they were intentional. (omg smallpox blankets rabblerabble)

[–]gojirra 0 points1 point ago

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Doesn't mean they don't deserve the right to continue living in their homeland.

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

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Ohh... sarcasm. Took me a double-take or two.

[–]toadwarrior 0 points1 point ago

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I saw a retard bullying a handicap so I beat the fuck out of the retard. He has no room to complain.

[–]christophercolumbus -1 points0 points ago

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But who the fuck cares if they did or didn't. I would of fucked their shit up either way. It was 1492 and I was a fucking explorer of the highest ball capacity.

Nobody talks about the fucker who sat at home and played with his dick. Nobody is writing a book about Christopher the careful and considerate dicksnorkler who shared well and played well with others. Seek adventure. Conquer. Profit. Columbus baby.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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In the case of the Arawaks, pretty much. There was individual violence of course. But no hell like that which columbus unleashed.

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 4 points5 points ago

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I bet there are no peoples on this planet to whom this does not apply. Except the Eskimos, the Aborigines in the Australian Outback and Gypsies.

[–]wuzizname 2 points3 points ago

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Hi there! I brought you a nice warm blanket as a gift. Smells like smallpox? No, no.. that's a new febreeze scent. Snuggle up!

[–]10maxpower01 0 points1 point ago

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"Smells like smallpox" sounds like the title of something.

[–]Solkre 5 points6 points ago

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No. You go to someone's house. Observe that they're in the technological stone age compared to you, then TAKE ALL THE THINGS.

[–]10maxpower01 0 points1 point ago

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No. You

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]facepoppies 0 points1 point ago

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I'm pretty sure Columbus was Jewish.

[–]Bartleby986 4 points5 points ago

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To be fair, those indians should have been willing to trade tea like they said they would.

[–]vanillaafro 1 point2 points ago

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nothing we can do about it now so give me turkey, oh wait that's thanksgiving...ah fuck it give me turkey anyway

[–]bogart1980 1 point2 points ago

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An imperialist foreign power showed up and conquered your lands you say? Get right out of town. They're handing out apologies right over there. Just get behind the Gauls, the Africans, and everybody else since the dawn of humanity.

[–]BossRooster 1 point2 points ago

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That's a picture of a German Landsknecht. You history fail.

[–]Anonymous_Bosch 1 point2 points ago

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Not really a good analogy since there were no established states in place with immigration laws when Columbus arrived. The Americas were, quite literally, a free country.

If you have a problem with people settling on a continent when another tribe are present then by that rationale the first humans to leave Africa for the Middle East might have reason to complain when a second tribe followed them out of the fertile crescent. 'Hey, you can't leave Africa! We've been in Asia a hundred years, it's ours now! All of it. From here to what will one day become Japan.'

[–]Floaticola 1 point2 points ago

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My birthday is on Columbus day, this is now how I will spend my birthday.

[–]alragusa 1 point2 points ago

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Funny. People say Columbus was a bad guy for opening the door to European colonization, yet I don't see anyone giving their home to a Native American and moving back to Europe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Please link the original source.

[–]BuckyDucksauce 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Well, that helps, but my point is that the OP should've done it.

[–]dgmilo8085 1 point2 points ago

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You mean become Israeli?

[–]alfia 4 points5 points ago

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Must be Columbus Day everyday in Israel then!

[–]Cleanup-Isle6 1 point2 points ago

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Similar to invading Muslim/African/Middle eastern immigrants, never invited or welcomed by indigenous europeans in Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Hungary, Russia, Britain, Ireland, Poland, Finland, Belarus, Lithuania, Ukraine, Greece, Portugal, Netherlands, Denmark, and others!

Walking into our house and telling us they live here now! We didn't invite them!

[–]UklaySchmee 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, you did. It's called guest worker programs and immigration quotas. It's not like they all just snuck over the border one night while you were all having a celebratory circlejerk.

[–]subredditmisdirector 0 points1 point ago

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That conquistador looks like a crosspost from /r/fancyhats...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's not a conquistador, it's a German mercenary called a Landsknecht.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sovietsrule 0 points1 point ago

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So many wrong grammars...x_x

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]omniawesome 0 points1 point ago

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Accidentally...

[–]CasedOutside 0 points1 point ago

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Might is right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Do we still celebrate Columbus day? I remember in elementary school getting the day off, now it rolls around and no one seems to celebrate it at all.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Just don't celebrate Columbus day in Texas.

[–]bobdole369 0 points1 point ago

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My company is celebrating the shit out of Columbus day. Then again we are a Caribbean company - with Columbus in the name.

[–]litewo 0 points1 point ago

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This is pretty much how I moved in with my girlfriend.

[–]jonjanssen13 0 points1 point ago

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2 words: Robert California

[–]WinterFlea 0 points1 point ago

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What do German landsknecht have to do with Columbus?

[–]ReigninLikeA_MoFo 0 points1 point ago

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"Don't drink the water..."

[–]pikkupandropov 0 points1 point ago

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does anyone realize that the image on that card is a German landschneckt mercenary, not a Spanish conquistador.

[–]bazinga839 0 points1 point ago

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with out white people where none whites would be? stop harassing raises!

[–]tmattoneill 0 points1 point ago

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I think you should say you discovered it.

[–]EyeballSandwich 0 points1 point ago

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Is it Columbus Day?

[–]DoctorSteve 0 points1 point ago

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This topic, and most of the opinions expressed in it, just makes me sad.

[–]ts87654 0 points1 point ago

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All I can think of when I see that picture is Lord Licorice.

[–]laws0n 0 points1 point ago

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Ya, since you can consider a little more than 1/4 of the worlds landmass someones house.

[–]AllDizzle 0 points1 point ago

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You also have to rape them furiously as columbus did.

[–]skippyG 0 points1 point ago

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Where did Columbus set foot in the present day United States? I forget.

[–]Corporate_Suit 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Eskimos and other Native Americans have an Asian look about them so is it too far out to say that, possibly, Asians discovered America?

[–]jeefray 0 points1 point ago

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We celebrate Columbus for almost discovering America. Not for using the locals as dummies during sword practice.

[–]AlanLolspan 0 points1 point ago

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Let's celebrate Columbus Day by giving everything back and creating 300,000,000 refugees.

[–]Toc_a_Somaten 0 points1 point ago

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what I do not understand is why the mexicans are so super proud of the spanish language, religion and traditions. The spanish raped, looted and destroyed all the ancient cultures of mexico, and yet, even after the independence they keep everything spanish in mexico, minus the flag

That makes me angry

[–]Firadin 0 points1 point ago

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That's funny cuz owaititsnot...

[–]crd06d 0 points1 point ago

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A mad Native American must of made that

[–]ndchristie 0 points1 point ago

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What's up with the German (or swiss) styled soldier? Columbus was Italian (well, Genoese) sailing for Spain 25 years before Habsburg rule, and the soldier pictured is of a slightly earlier sort anyhow.

You can pretty much guarantee that no matter how they looked and dressed, the first few boatloads of men weren't like the one pictured.

[–]DadWasntYourMoms1st 0 points1 point ago

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Israel has been celebrating for a while now!

[–]DENelson83 0 points1 point ago

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...by celebrating Thanksgiving up here in Canada.

[–]digeridude 0 points1 point ago

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That's a picture of Hernan Cortes.

[–]IMAROBOTLOL 0 points1 point ago

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Alternatively, we can celebrate the founding of Israel like this!

[–]frodevil 0 points1 point ago

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Right, because early America and all of it's vast space is comparable to a small house.

[–]misfitlove 0 points1 point ago

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Disgusting guilty whites, makes me cringe.

[–]tracerbullet__pi 0 points1 point ago

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And yet you posted this, I'm guessing, from your own home, which you did not give back to the natives

[–]taifoid 0 points1 point ago

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Everyone knows he never even saw North America right?

[–]Frago242 0 points1 point ago

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As long as I get an extra long weekend. I. Don't. Care.

[–]ghettopia 0 points1 point ago

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[–]DukeOfGeek 0 points1 point ago

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It will be helpful to have 3 armed frigates and the marines that come with them if you do.

[–]isny 0 points1 point ago

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We should do that in Ohio.

[–]chocolatepark 0 points1 point ago

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Israelis celebrate this everyday in the West Bank.

[–]DJSYX9 0 points1 point ago

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Then murder them and their 50,000,000 neighbors.

[–]shadowmoshe 0 points1 point ago

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Funny. That's how I celebrate Israeli Independence.

[–]stackzor -1 points0 points ago

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[–]auto01 -1 points0 points ago

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Columbus was a drunk idiot with a boat.

[–]asoedsf 2 points3 points ago

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Wasn't that Joseph Hazelwood?

[–]Davey_Hogan 0 points1 point ago

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Whaaaa lets cry over spilled milk

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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ITT: Morons changing the subject to Israel.