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233
234

Shut up Shannon.. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by sheogorath

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[–]gothicsmurf 38 points39 points ago

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Y'know. . having worked as a cashier I can tell you that sometimes our day is just so freaking boring that the small talk is all that keeps us sane. There are even times when it's funny or awkward.
This one time I was on till and this couple was approaching, I said 'Hi, how you doing, do you have a derpy membership?' They say "Naw, we're from out of town' I say 'Oh what brings you here, business or pleasure?' The man the proceeds to put down a box of condoms to buy and the wife turns a deep red. . . awkward. . .

[–]StochasticOoze 12 points13 points ago

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I had the opposite experience. I wanted to talk to customers as little as possible and mostly just went through the motions.

[–]harratic 1 point2 points ago

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i currently work a food court and agree ENTIRELY.

[–]mavstar 3 points4 points ago

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I live in Vermont, so when I got to use a touchscreen to order my food at JFK without talking to a single human, I was so happy. Maybe if Vermonters were as friendly with strangers as Southerners I'd feel differently.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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I'm from Florida and the strangers aren't friendly at all.

[–]Waitwhatwtf 0 points1 point ago

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I've visited Vermont from out of state (still in NE), everyone stares at you. Kind of feels like this.

[–]Haastrain 5 points6 points ago

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I have learned to read people really well over the years. I can usually tell if a person is someone I can have some nice small talk with or not.

also, total 1st world problem

[–]lotrdev 1 point2 points ago

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He should have replied: "strictly business".

[–]SlasherX 1 point2 points ago

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"So pleasure?"

[–]whoneedsusernames 0 points1 point ago

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If someone made a comment like that I honestly wouldn't care. I don't even get why anyone would hate this really, they're just being polite

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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The paticular comment in the pic is very rude.

[–]Proditus -1 points0 points ago

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Same here a while ago. I mean, you can tell by looking what sorts of people are sociable and which are not, so you can just talk to the sociable ones. Usually for me it just came down to giving food tips and guessing what they would make for dinner.

Shit does get boring as all fuck. The best thing you can do is try to have some fun with it.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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I want customers.

[–]NoxMortalitus 16 points17 points ago

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Meanwhile, the opposite side of the conversation:

Cashier: hold on a minute, this didn't scan right...

Customer: THAT MEANS ITS FREE RIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[–]MinistryofPain 6 points7 points ago

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I think I just popped a blood vessel reading this. If any of you take anything from this thread please know this. NEVER EVER MAKE THIS JOKE. We hear it multiple times a day, and to be honest, it wasn't even funny the first time.

[–]neanderthalman 1 point2 points ago*

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http://www.competitionbureau.gc.ca/eic/site/cb-bc.nsf/eng/01262.html

It's not law here, but every single major retailer participates voluntarily. The policy is nearly always displayed at the cashier.

For those with linkoclickophobia, if an item scans at a higher price than the shelf price, then you are entitled to the first item for free, to a maximum of $10. Subsequent identical items are sold at the shelf price.

Sometimes it's not a joke.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Shut up, Canadian.

[–]MinistryofPain 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, but that doesn't mean if an item's UPC is cut in half and you can't physically scan it because it is cut in half doesn't mean you get it for free.

[–]HarmonyofPenandSword 6 points7 points ago

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try working at Trader Joe's, where you are forced to make mind numbing small talk with customers, Somebody said I sounded like a recording today

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Forced to make degrading small talk? Such a shame. One of the many reasons why I quit going to Chik-Fil-A.

[–]robertodeltoro -1 points0 points ago

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I thought not being a degrading shit-hole to work at was the whole thing with Trader Joe's?

[–]HarmonyofPenandSword 0 points1 point ago

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that's the lie they are selling to the customers. People get hurt all the time, there's mold, we're made to push products so hard.

[–]EmilyamI 6 points7 points ago

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A cashier at my college's cafeteria once watched me go from counter to counter and rang me up while I was choosing my items. I came to the till with cookies that she hadn't seen me pick up. She insisted that I put them back because she had already asked the machine for my total and couldn't close the cash drawer without a transaction. She wouldn't let me buy them in a separate transaction because there were other people in line behind me.

Wound up speaking to a supervisor and got cookies for free.

[–]hombreesecholo -3 points-2 points ago

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wat.

[–]PassionateMusicGuy 2 points3 points ago

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There's this one cashier at my local grocery store, and every time I buy a can of something to drink, she puts it on her face, and says "Ah, it's so hot in here, I just had to cool off a bit." Every time I murder her in my imagination.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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Dear lord; as a former cashier I would have been so fired for that.

[–]PassionateMusicGuy 1 point2 points ago

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You should be. Nobody puts my drink on their face. That's just not right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Ugh.

[–]DerpPassenger 2 points3 points ago

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Repost.

[–]DibzIsHere -1 points0 points ago

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^ The most reposted thing ever.

Ironically, people complaining about people complaining about reposts is the second most reposted thing ever.

[–]KidRed 1 point2 points ago

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Stop complaining.

[–]DibzIsHere 3 points4 points ago

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This actually just happened to me today. It was my brothers birthday and I was at rite aid buying stuff when I noticed a good deal on candy bars, so I got 6. The cashier was like "someone has a sweet tooth" then at the end he was like here is your derp stuff bag and here is your sweet tooth bag.

Fuck that guy.

[–]zegenditeten 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only one who likes a nice friendly chat with a cashier? You guys are the reason that everyone looks so dehumanized walking down the streets.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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As a former cashier, I encourage you to be nice. This is a welcome change from the average idiot.

Example of average idiot; they get mad at you when you don't read their mind and or they make a natural, human mistake.

[–]McQuack 1 point2 points ago

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If you don't like it, buy your shit online.

[–]silent_p 6 points7 points ago

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You buy oreos online? What the fuck, Launchpad?

[–]annul 1 point2 points ago

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i HATE being harassed in every fucking store i go to. in publix its fucking relentless. every single person wont stop trying to talk to you. its unnerving. its annoying. its entirely forced and fake.

[–]sneakysheeky 1 point2 points ago

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typo

[–]cartfisk 0 points1 point ago

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The typo comment has 0 points? What the hell have we become reddit? The content of this post is so unimportant when there's an apostrophe in CASHIERS. Stop being so KIND.

[–]sneakysheeky 0 points1 point ago

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I was talking about the "your".

[–]Flashbang707 0 points1 point ago

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Ive actually had this happen twice now... Grabbed cases of beer, soda and water, with chips/salsa, pizza, maybe one or two other things. Get to the checkout, the lady goes "having a party?" and I just go "nah... it's Tuesday"... nice and silent for the rest of the checkout.

[–]Thornwolf 0 points1 point ago

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This wouldnt happent to be at HFCC would it. looks just like it.

[–]Thornwolf 0 points1 point ago

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This wouldnt happent to be at HFCC would it. looks just like it.

[–]RetlaOge 0 points1 point ago

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Shut up karmawhore

[–]Varied 0 points1 point ago

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I don't get angry when a cashier talks to me.

They are working as a cashier after all.

[–]star_witness 0 points1 point ago

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I look for the cashiers who make small talk while ringing me up.

It makes every trip to the store that much better.

[–]MollyRocket 0 points1 point ago

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Where I worked in high school we weren't allowed to say anything other than "Hi, how are you?" and "Have a nice day". We lived in a small town, and I felt like an asshole when I didn't respond to someone trying to make smalltalk.

[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points ago

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Did your boss ever say why? Maybe "I like losing money!"

[–]MollyRocket 0 points1 point ago

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I honestly have no idea. Maybe he thought we were wasting time when we had small talk or laughed. Yeah man, he hated it when we laughed or talked to eachother.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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My boss wasn't crazy as yours but he didn't like it when the customers overheard the employees laughing.

Bonus fun; it was an extremely small store.

[–]MollyRocket 0 points1 point ago

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I suppose that could be reasoned that the customer could think you were laughing at them. We were a small grocery store too. I guess it could have just been him showing off his power over us.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

[–]KilgoreTrout1 0 points1 point ago

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I used to be a cashier and I hated when the customers tried to make small talk with me. "You working hard or hardly working?" I just wanted to say hey, how are you? and thank you and thats it. Im the opposite of gothicsmurf I guess.

[–]tdnelson 0 points1 point ago

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Whose stand up is this from? I remember hearing this and can't remember which comedian said it.

[–]Rocco427 -3 points-2 points ago

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Greg Warren, he had a comedy central special. One of the better ones too.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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no, god no. I mean maybe he said something about this but this is a George Carlin bit. "have a nice dayyy!" "... yeah yeah yeah... give my my fucking change". and for gods sake just because he had a comedy central special doesn't make them a good comic by any stretch of the imagination. the people in there are terrible, all canned laughter and jokes recycled and filtered so much you don't even know their names. like Jeff duhnam, he rode out the fAct that he could tell a joke with a puppet, motherfucker was in movies tv shows made DVDs cds sells stuff versions of his puppets.

TL;DR: George carlin originated this joke. not some jackass on comedy central.

[–]Rocco427 -1 points0 points ago

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Wow, way to be a dick when I give you the source. This joke is word for word what Greg Warren said, even the oreos and the name. I know this is reddit, and the hivemind loves his dick, but George Carlin was not an all powerful god.

[–]1ruins1 0 points1 point ago

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why would you say that to a nice old lady?

[–]jack_skellington 0 points1 point ago

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Yesterday I went in the store and bought about $25 worth of food. I didn't have small bills that would cover it, so I pulled out the $100 in my wallet. She looked at it and went, "Oooooo!" Then after inspecting it to make sure it was valid, she says, "How did you get this? What do you do?"

From her tone of voice I could not tell if she was saying any of these three things:

  • "Hey big spender, got a good job? Are you single?"
  • "You couldn't legitimately have this. Confess your crimes."
  • "I'm chatty and nosy. Hi. Let's make small talk."

To be honest, my brain reacted as if she meant the second option AND third options, and I suddenly felt put upon, and wanted privacy. I answered only, "I'm resourceful."

I'm a 40 year-old man, but felt like a kid getting confronted for theft. I was creeped out and left quickly.

To that cashier: if you meant it to be accusatory, screw you. If you meant it nicer, sorry if that got awkward at the end. You weirded me out.

[–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 0 points1 point ago

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This is the right reply to this image, right?

As a cashier, I never initiate conversation. I'll greet you, but that's it. I figure if you want to talk, you'll talk. Otherwise, I figure you just want to buy your shit and leave. I'm not going to conversation rape you.

Or should I just tell you about Greg Warren?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It appears everyone who mentions Greg Warren gets a downvote. Not sure why, but thanks for introducing me to him. Pretty funny stuff~

[–]permasmile 0 points1 point ago

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which stand up comedian is this from? because i know the joke well, as it is hilarious and i've seen the special a few times, and this is his joke

[–]IZuStY 0 points1 point ago

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I don't mind when they say something like "Oh I love those" :)

[–]ShannonMS81 0 points1 point ago

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OK... :(

[–]jrgolden42 -1 points0 points ago

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Happens every time I buy Transformers.

"You going to a birthday party"

"Fuck you bitch, these are for me!"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]thewooboost 1 point2 points ago

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Have you ever thought that typing in all caps is weird?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I always thought it denoted yelling and some tinge of sarcasm. Is that not how you see it?

[–]thewooboost 1 point2 points ago

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I dont see that comment as yelling or sarcastic, but that's just me

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Well what do you see it as? I'm honestly curious how people read caps.

[–]jrgolden42 0 points1 point ago

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Yelling. Definitely yelling. Never seen it as the sarcasm one

[–]thewooboost 0 points1 point ago

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I see it as that annoying girl on youtube who types in all caps, not insinuating that you are that obviously.

[–]jrgolden42 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. Its my hobby. It is something I find value in. I don't judge you for your hobbies or the things you buy, so you shouldn't judge me

[–]uhhhclem -1 points0 points ago

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I hate when moron's misuse apostrophes.

[–]tyrghast -2 points-1 points ago

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Sometimes I just wish I could go about my business with absolutely no human contact at all.

[–]the_goat_boy 0 points1 point ago

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Me too. The problem with society is all the people.

[–]jwchen -2 points-1 points ago

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I might be the only one. But whenever a cashier open her mouth a side of my brain thinks she wanna bang me, the other thinks she is so bored she is stared to go crazy.

[–]cmatute -2 points-1 points ago

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I hate when someone uses unnecessary apostrophes.

Edit: Also, Dat Ass.

[–]IvarForkbeard -2 points-1 points ago

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Maybe I need to clean my glasses, but isn't that a salad?

[–]doot_doot -5 points-4 points ago

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Buying a pregnancy test for my gf in college. Very afraid that I was about to be a dad. Checking out with my eyes down. "Good luck, man," comes from the pimple at the register. I will go back in time and hire a skinhead to dropkick your mother in the stomach you son of a bitch.

[–]star_witness 1 point2 points ago

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Huh. I would have said thanks in that situation.

[–]doot_doot -2 points-1 points ago

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if you ever find yourself in another life as a poor ass 18 year old kid who has only been dating a girl for a few months and is on the precipice of becoming her baby daddy, let me know if "good luck" is what you want to hear when nothing but your own terrified "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" internal monologue is screaming through your head.

[–]star_witness 1 point2 points ago

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I just don't think he would say it with malice, is all.

In that situation I'd take any good vibe I could get. Might as well have the balance of the universe slightly in your favour, right?

I'm 31. Been in that exact situation. I was 16. Morning after pill saved my future.

[–]doot_doot -1 points0 points ago

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internet fist bump

[–]tide88 -3 points-2 points ago

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Dat ass.

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