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all 39 comments

[–]etbb 27 points28 points ago

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Wash your hand. Then you should come visit Montreal. Then.. wash your hands again please.

[–]techmaster242 35 points36 points ago

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That reminds me of the joke, it goes something like:

A guy walks into a bar, there's a sign on the wall that says:

Handjobs: $20
Sandwiches: $5

The guy asks the woman behind the counter "Excuse me, Miss, but are you the one who gives the handjobs?" She says "Yes", and he responds with "Well, wash your hands and make me a sandwich."

[–]ekimneems 11 points12 points ago

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Yes! Every time I go there, the girls say: "You can touch my ass, you can touch my tits, but you can't touch my pussssyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" (in an Eastern European accent of course)

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 0 points1 point ago

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I've encountered many strippers in the US with similar "rules", although they're a bit more, for lack of a better word, timid by saying "here" or "there" instead of drawing out the word pussy.

[–]KingoftheBrits 2 points3 points ago

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I "donated" a large portion of my student loan money to the stripper population of St. Cath's. Ahh those were the good times. Lots of nice girls, though!

[–]Captain_Biddle 11 points12 points ago

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You can touch in Florida.

[–]renamed 4 points5 points ago

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You can do more than touch in Florida...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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As a Floridian, I can vouch for this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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How touching.

[–]skiman13579 1 point2 points ago

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Just no touching between the legs, im friends with some key west strippers

Surprisingly the nicest locals girls I have met are strippers, also they do a lot less drugs and drink a lot less than 95% of the normal local key west girls I have met.

[–]LovingCup 5 points6 points ago

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You can touch on Bourbon Street.

[–]lobf 4 points5 points ago

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What film is this from?

[–]vorin 9 points10 points ago

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Season 3 of Strangers with Candy, according to the comments here.

[–]Noreaga 5 points6 points ago

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You should come to Europe where you can touch the lady strippers all you want :)

[–]bazilbt 5 points6 points ago

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we have those in america too, we call them hookers.

[–]minecrafter10067 6 points7 points ago

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YOU'RE A HOOKER!

[–]nikc4 1 point2 points ago

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She's a massage therapist...

[–]TracyMorganFreeman 4 points5 points ago

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Don't massage the rapist. That only encourages them.

[–]vajav 2 points3 points ago

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Seems like you're going to the wrong kind

[–]teddeism 2 points3 points ago

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You haven't been to Vegas yet have you?

[–]RebelWithoutAClue 2 points3 points ago

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You want to touch the girls? Try this gambit. Say:

"I'm Canadian, sorry (pronounce "soory" not "sary"). I'm not sure what the rules are here and I don't want to offend anyone. In the US, girl will give you the rundown on the rules and if you're polite and considerate, she'll pick up your hands by the wrists and put them all over her. No shit. Smile like an imbecile and don't forget to lock eyes from time to time.

Grab her boobies or snatch and the bouncer will bounce you. Let her take you past the limit and the bouncers will turn a blind eye.

[–]amber90 0 points1 point ago

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true facts. or just say it's your first time for a lap dance and look really excited.

[–]kevinwoodward 1 point2 points ago

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I feel stupid for asking but why is this a common rule?

[–]spazmodic- 2 points3 points ago

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It probably depends how creepy you look

[–]amber90 0 points1 point ago

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and "clean"

[–]LostSoulsAlliance 1 point2 points ago

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I thought he was going to start playing that ass like a bongo.

[–]2ToneKevin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]itsjeffreywayne 0 points1 point ago

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This is still maybe my favorite GIF of all time. Makes me giggle

[–]manaworkin 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks I was trying to find this gif earlier.

[–]nestix_1093 0 points1 point ago

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That guy looks like DJ Pauly D in 20 years

[–]Theas1an 0 points1 point ago

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Mons Venus and Odyssey 2001 :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Ask him what happened before he drew that on his hand :D

[–]MegaAndyBear 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this was from anger management

[–]Cezna 0 points1 point ago

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As he is pulling his hand back, I can just hear him going "ooohhhh, you"

[–]dohwinning 0 points1 point ago

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Well, obviously you aren't paying them enough. Most are basically hookers.

[–]billythekid69 0 points1 point ago

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what the fuck kind of strip club do you go to?

[–]Skybaert 1 point2 points ago

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How the hell have people not seen this yet? How old are you guys?

[–]genegene -1 points0 points ago

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[–]topherotica -4 points-3 points ago

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Ew.