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374
375

Well... this is terrifying. (thechive.files.wordpress.com)

submitted ago by et_Spiritus_Sancti

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[–]WhattaJew 57 points58 points ago

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As a snake lover, I love that a snake has gotten so big in the wild... ...but as a person who respects life, RUN BITCH RUN!

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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As a snake lover, I wonder how that man manages to avoid sinking with his massive balls of pure brass.

[–]meninthemirror 15 points16 points ago

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No, that's why he's such a good diver, doesn't need a weight belt.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I have wear twelve pounds. He... goes a different way.

[–]beerdeer 12 points13 points ago

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NOO!! Get outta there!

[–]oligobop 3 points4 points ago

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SWIM bitch SWIM!

[–]Grab 3 points4 points ago

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as a snake hater, I would say exactly the same!

[–]HanselSoHotRightNow 3 points4 points ago

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I don't think the snake would actually consider this person a food item given the swim gear he is wearing. The only threat would be if it felt threatened by his actions which if he is smart about his movements, shouldn't be a problem. It is a wild animal though and predictability is incredibly limited and you can only really go by common behavioral practices.

[–]rigallow 8 points9 points ago

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woulda coulda shoulda....oh crap I'm snake food.

[–]cleverlyannoying 3 points4 points ago

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This is terrifyingly relevant.

[–]herpichj 1 point2 points ago

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i have heard that the photo of the man inside the snake is a fake. well look at that, i'm a poet and i just don't know it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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your feet show it. they're long fellows.

[–]annoyinglyclever 0 points1 point ago

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I'm surprised you had the guts to look at that.

[–]jormugandr 0 points1 point ago

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Saw that on the Discovery Channel. It's a hoax.

The largest snake in the world cannot open its mouth wide enough to swallow the human shoulders. A child, sure, but not a moderately sized adult

[–]HanselSoHotRightNow -1 points0 points ago

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I will counter-point by saying this man was not wearing a wetsuit (which would make the man seem like an inanimate object to the snakes senses) and that some random link on the internet doesn't mean it is a common occurrence by any means. I believe I mentioned the unpredictability of nature above?

That being said... most of the time you will not find a fully geared diver being eaten by a (what looks like) an adult reticulated python or perhaps a rock python... it's hard to tell in the murky water. They are definitely more aggressive than your garden variety python but just like most snakes they will run long before attacking.

[–]cleverlyannoying 0 points1 point ago

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My rebuttal:

  1. When did I say a man being eaten by a serpent was common? I merely said it was relevant.

  2. Mention the unpredictability of nature all you want, it is an abstract concept.

  3. Since you seem to be foggy on the applicability of my relevance claim, allow me to elaborate. My link was relevant not because both men were in wetsuits, in murky waters, and poking at ginormous snakes with a camera. It was relevant in my eyes, because both men were... men. Or, homo sapiens, if you prefer. And because a possible outcome of their separate scenarios were that they might be ingested by limbless reptiles.

[–]phoncible 51 points52 points ago

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the thing on top of the camera kinda looks like batman

[–]Fu_Man_Chu 15 points16 points ago

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cannot unsee

[–]Khabi 7 points8 points ago

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This is why I love reddit, I saw the picture.. thought the same thing, then thought 'nah, nobody else probably see's that'.. Open comments CTRL+F 'batman' and bam.. here we go.

[–]TheDoc22 16 points17 points ago

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Video: Diving with Anacondas

Found here.

[–]cjmcduffy 2 points3 points ago

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The end of the video.... "Live this adventure for yourself." Are you serious?

[–]joshlake 30 points31 points ago

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I thought that red mark above the diver's head was an exclamation mark

[–]Nesman64 30 points31 points ago

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In my head, I heard the "spotted" noise from Metal Gear.

[–]joshlake 25 points26 points ago

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SNAKE?! SNAAAAKE!!

[–]thebiglab 3 points4 points ago

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It isn't?

[–]sashaaa123 1 point2 points ago

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what is it then?

[–]joshlake 2 points3 points ago

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Here is a bigger version. After careful consideration, I'm going with a floating mini fire hydrant.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like the end of his snorkel. Like this, but on a transparent snorkel instead of black.

[–]detached03 14 points15 points ago

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fuck. that.

[–]immoralminority 2 points3 points ago

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my exact quote.

[–]herpichj 24 points25 points ago

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my anaconda dont want none unless you got buns hun

[–]disarm2514 19 points20 points ago

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NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

[–]mershed_perderders 18 points19 points ago

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Nagini... ?

[–]Second_Location 7 points8 points ago

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Welp. No more swimmies for me.

[–]Alpha_Q 2 points3 points ago

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Where is this?

[–]DeviledEggs 9 points10 points ago

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This looks like an Anaconda so probably South America.

[–]Mark_Lincoln 3 points4 points ago

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Just imagine what is going through the mind of that poor snake.

[–]et_Spiritus_Sancti[S] 15 points16 points ago

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Dinner!

[–]Horrorshow7 4 points5 points ago

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Thanks Reddit. Just.....just thanks a lot. Christ.

[–]Goatpunching 4 points5 points ago

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I'm not sure, but I believe snakes can't bite/eat under water.

[–]fiveguy 6 points7 points ago

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I upvoted this because I hope it's true.

[–]Goatpunching 1 point2 points ago

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you and me both!

[–]kurse21 1 point2 points ago

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I believe snakes can bite underwater because some eat fish but they do have to surface to consume them. I think I am remembering this correctly from somewhere.

[–]forcolus 1 point2 points ago

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It can still wrap itself round him though.

[–]strong_grey_hero 4 points5 points ago

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I am slightly disappointed. The first few seconds of looking at the picture, I didn't make a distinction between the dark blob in the upper right corner, and the snake. I thought he was taking a picture of a giant squid, and the snake was a tentacle.

[–]Trollestia 2 points3 points ago

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NO

[–]gengen360 5 points6 points ago

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I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going insert creepy gusta face

[–]WisekillyWabbit 4 points5 points ago

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I think you mean insert massive tentacle.

[–]gengen360 4 points5 points ago

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I'm allergic to seafood. So that might Not go well

[–]Anxietgeist 4 points5 points ago

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that guy just spotted snake alright

[–]V_for_VinceVega 2 points3 points ago

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That thing can literally eat two of him

[–]Renmauzuo 2 points3 points ago

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Relax, there's no reason to be terrified of cameras.

[–]GLAMARKY 2 points3 points ago

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Wait, is that a MGS style exclamation point over his head??

[–]wasterrr 3 points4 points ago

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kill it with fire

[–]Etheril 8 points9 points ago

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it's underwater, your fire won't work there

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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sure it will.

[–]boblob 15 points16 points ago

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Underwater welding. Man's greatest "fuck you!" to nature.

[–]Cainer666 2 points3 points ago

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There are may to choose from...

[–]Suck_Jons_BallZ 6 points7 points ago

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Perfect, that'll work. Come here, snake. Hold still whilst I weld your head off.

[–]gibson_ 0 points1 point ago

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That's not fire.

[–]gravion17 2 points3 points ago

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GREEK FIRE!!!

[–]scoetrain 1 point2 points ago

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Well, I know what the subject of my next nightmare will be.

[–]zachsm 1 point2 points ago

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run for your life je-lo!!!

[–]MySonIsCaleb 1 point2 points ago

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that's it, he's gonna die.

[–]omnilynx 1 point2 points ago

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That guy is about 1/10 second away from death.

[–]geckog88 1 point2 points ago

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why not use zoom?!

[–]Ivan_of_Zeta 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen enough he... oh wait its a snake

[–]Colorado222 1 point2 points ago

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does he have an exclamation point above his head?

[–]Iamfubar 1 point2 points ago

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Insane dude

[–]mawilso 1 point2 points ago

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Can't tell if this person is a snake expert or snake idiot.

[–]glasnostic 1 point2 points ago

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That snake is big enough and fast enough to end that diver's life very fast. If it chose to attack and bystanders wanted to intervene, they would almost certainly have to resort to killing it.

The diver is not only putting his own life in jeopardy, but the life of the snake as well..

What an ass.

The only way I could respect a person like that is if he made certain that everybody else around would not intervene with deadly force to save him if the snake did attack.

[–]xPerplex 1 point2 points ago

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that snake could kill the shit out of that guy

[–]dsn0wman 1 point2 points ago

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It'll be okay, just don't take it on a plane.

[–]isawwhatyoudid 1 point2 points ago

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F ecveruthing about this picture!!! Sorry I'm shaking with terror

[–]igocatboarding 1 point2 points ago

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You're definitely going to need a Chocobo.

[–]ZUNZER 1 point2 points ago

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I guess that's an Anaconda? Well at least if he shits himself he's already underwater....

[–]IEndDreamsWifSCIENCE 2 points3 points ago

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Its the goddamned Batman.

[–]ABALONE_RENEGADE 0 points1 point ago

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Good thing J-lo and Ice Cube aren't around

[–]pdmcmahon 0 points1 point ago

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He definitely has room for that tiny little man in his tummy.

[–]scigs6 0 points1 point ago

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Here lets see what the flash from my camer!@#!#@#BLAAAGHGGHHHH

[–]Evermist 0 points1 point ago

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Sharks, sharks are ok, I would have no problem diving with sharks, the giant sharks are either extinct or Whale sharks but snakes NO just NO!

[–]quadglacier 0 points1 point ago

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Why are we only getting the second camera man's perspective?

[–]jpman6 0 points1 point ago

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snakes can live on land and underwater, if they could fly we would all be fucked.

[–]Psynaut 0 points1 point ago

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Can anyone provide me with the address to write to to cancel my Scuba certification?

[–]maroonbandito 0 points1 point ago

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nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

[–]laz3rw0lf 0 points1 point ago

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My Anaconda don't want none unlesssssssssss.......

[–]Palmuu -3 points-2 points ago

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Nope! Chuck Testa

[–]RoosterCogburnhad1_I 2 points3 points ago

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I know there are many haters, but in all honesty, I think the Chuck Testa stuff is really funny. I laugh every time.

[–]bigroblee -1 points0 points ago

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Same here!

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