It was art class, I was about this age. The sky was a myriad of gray foreboding of the incoming storm. It was my turn to present my paper-machay fish....I rose and gracefully made my way to the front of the class, chest out, chin up, full of confidence. I was the alpha, I was the leader. They looked up to me, I had them by their balls. I could make them laugh, I could make them cry, I was the cool kid in 3rd grade!

As I prepared to wow them with my awesome fucking fish, I felt a slight tickle deep in my gullet. It rose like that of ten thousand volcanic channels full of magma before its magnificent eruption! I sneezed. It had happened. Not 5 seconds into my prepared award winning novella had I fallen to pieces. I lost everything I had worked for in my entire life. I had just shot dual 3-4 inch strands of snotty yellow mucus out of my nose holes, also known as nostrils. I was young and naive, but I still wonder if it were to happen to me today if my reaction would be any different. Im certain it wouldnt.

I dropped my fish like it was anthrax. I shot my hands to my face, the speed was to much, it was like a snot high five... I now found myself entangled in a cats-cradle of snot with my face and both hands. I was alone, standing in front of the class that was now cascading with laughter!!! I will never forget, I will never forget the day that i sneezed and snot shot out of my nose in front of all my peers.

BUT I DIDNT FUCKING CRY!!!!!! I DIDNT!!!!