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top 200 commentsshow all 492

[–]working_on_it 177 points178 points ago

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i almost feel like "prison" and "surprise" are the same destination... oh god.

[–]IMightBeFullOfShit 127 points128 points ago

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It's the town of Surprise and pretty much, yeah.

[–]LavrentiyBeria 60 points61 points ago

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The city was founded in 1938 by Flora Mae Statler, who named it Surprise as she "would be surprised if the town ever amounted to much".

She sounds like a great mother.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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The surprise is the foreclosure rate!

[–]HentaiTentacleDemon 6 points7 points ago

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Half my neighborhood just shortsold their houses and immediately rented them back from the new owner for like 1/3 what they were paying for a mortgage.

It became such a problem that the banks handling the sales made them sign agreements to not rent back to the previous owners.

[–]OIP 6 points7 points ago

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Scumbag founder

[–]silence7 11 points12 points ago

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The worst of those is the guy who decided that the main streets in his town would be called "this way" and "that way"

[–]stagedane 1 point2 points ago

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At least she was realistic. It hasn't.

[–]funny-chubby-awesome[S] 129 points130 points ago

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I don't know if I can trust you on that, IMightBeFullOfShit. I just don't know.

[–]IMightBeFullOfShit 107 points108 points ago

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Even when I source my comments, people still doubt me...I just don't understand where all the distrust comes from...

[–]AshtrayParker 38 points39 points ago

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do they doubt you? or are you full of shit?

[–]mb9023 19 points20 points ago

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I think he has to take a dump.

[–]KorbenD2263 22 points23 points ago

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He could be constipated.

Poop is kinda like math homework; sometimes, you gotta work it out with a pencil.

[–]thang1thang2 12 points13 points ago

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Work it out with a pencil

ಠ_ಠ

The pain

[–]theperfectonion 19 points20 points ago

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Turn it around.

[–]funkyloki 2 points3 points ago

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This has to be the best advice I ever heard...or not.

[–]karona513 1 point2 points ago

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I did not see that coming.

[–]railmaniac 1 point2 points ago

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And I don't want to.

[–]kvist 0 points1 point ago

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If he ever take a dump he would ultimately disappear!

[–]thexbetterxdays 2 points3 points ago

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it's definitely personal, it has nothing to do with your name.

[–]TheHappyRogue 6 points7 points ago

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I can vouch. I live in Tempe now after my house was robbed and my friends shot during a break-in when I lived in surprise

[–]itsthenewdan 2 points3 points ago

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Really? I have relatives that live in one of those retirement/golf communities there, and it's pretty nice... if you're into that sort of thing.

[–]NineteenthJester 1 point2 points ago

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My grandparents live in Surprise about half the year, SoCal the other half.

[–]dbenallie 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, its surprise AZ...

[–]HentaiTentacleDemon 1 point2 points ago*

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I can vouch for it. You're looking at the northbound 303 highway, aka cotton lane for a portion of it.

If you want to see the sign it's at about the I-10 and 303 highway on google maps

[–]glindon 9 points10 points ago

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From Surprise here, seen that sign many times.

[–]itsthenewdan 2 points3 points ago

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Is that zoo worth visiting? I've always wondered. Also, I'm a big fan of going to the zoo.

[–]glindon 8 points9 points ago

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It's alright, but the phoenix zoo is much better.

[–]vaizer 1 point2 points ago

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It's worth it for the giraffes, you can climb up this big stand and feed them by hand. It's awesome.

[–]dc45 1 point2 points ago

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Go in the cooler months and it will be a nice visit. The restaurant isn't too bad and they have an awesome aquarium inside. My little guy was enthralled...

[–]Zagrobelny 1 point2 points ago

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Are you sure you want to know how it is in advance? Wouldn't you rather be... oh, never mind.

[–]relaxed137 1 point2 points ago

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The world wildlife zoo is now a rip off unless you go to the aquarium. It's like $35 a ticket now per person per visit.

[–]Laser-Horse 1 point2 points ago

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Fellow Surprise resident reporting in!

[–]emarkd 2 points3 points ago

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Surprise resident? Is that like finding a hobo living in your basement?

[–]Laser-Horse 1 point2 points ago

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The shock of finding a reddit denizen who occupies the same small town as me is roughly akin to finding a hobo in your basement, yes.

[–]SurpriseButtSexer 1 point2 points ago

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No you didn't.

[–]Fookananer 1 point2 points ago

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cottonwood, obviously surprise is just up the road. ;)

[–]ChoTai 1 point2 points ago

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Home of the Surprise Police.

[–]slf67 6 points7 points ago

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In which case it's surprise buttsex.

[–]SurpriseButtSexer 1 point2 points ago

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You called?

[–]Nyaan 1 point2 points ago

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and "zoo".

[–]Frogmaster123 183 points184 points ago

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I'd pick Surprise. I mean a zoo is a zoo, but a surprise could be anything. It could even be a zoo.

[–]undercoveruser 29 points30 points ago

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It could also be a prison. Choose wisely...

[–]jackwelty 10 points11 points ago

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Surprise! It's a small town with nothing in it. Pick again.

[–]Detached09 33 points34 points ago

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A boat?

[–]Moonbath 5 points6 points ago

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We didn't take the zoo. We took the Surprise....hop in....

[–]SurpriseButtSexer 1 point2 points ago

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Our town has dark secret.

[–]godcent 0 points1 point ago

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Surprise Buttsecks?

[–]casual_shoggoth 46 points47 points ago

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The obvious answer would be the zoo, so it must be a trap. To the prison!

[–]boverly721 17 points18 points ago

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The right answer is even highlighted. Must be a trap

[–]Crimsonbob 31 points32 points ago

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Actually, its one destination with multiple arrows all pointing to the "prison surprise zoo"

[–]acrousey 20 points21 points ago

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Or, "Surprise! It's a prison zoo!"

[–]marsneedstowels 2 points3 points ago

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Now we know what's in the mystery meat.

[–]acrousey 2 points3 points ago

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I believe Charlton Heston solved that one for us in Soylent Green.

[–]gojiramonster 1 point2 points ago

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"Surprise! The prison is a zoo!"

[–]dclowd9901 22 points23 points ago

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Cotton Lane and the I-10 about 5 miles outside of Avondale, AZ. I actually live in Surprise, and have regularly used this exit to take the 303 up to where I live. Why on Earth have I never seen the karma potential here...

BTW, that zoo's way more legit than the Phoenix Zoo.

[–]miko9999 4 points5 points ago

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I saw this on the front page and I live in Goodyear and see this sign every week or so. So awesome.

[–]MrMiller 2 points3 points ago

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Same here. West Valley representin' up in this bitch!

[–]miko9999 1 point2 points ago

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South-West, boiii

[–]AJInO 1 point2 points ago

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Buckeye, reporting in

[–]RIPDigg 3 points4 points ago

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I agree. Zoo in question

[–]c_t_f_d 2 points3 points ago

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Avondale, here. When the hell are they going to start building the interchange?

[–]vincent21212 1 point2 points ago

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Really? I worked at Luke for 6 years and never went. I looked it up on Google Maps and it looked like a petting zoo.

[–]dclowd9901 1 point2 points ago

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They have tons of shit. It's not as fancy as the Phoenix Zoo, but you can get closer to the animals. Actually, today, I went to the Out of Africa park near Camp Verde. That place beats both. Fucking amazing.

[–]N00buteer 17 points18 points ago

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What about we change it a bit

Prison.... SURPRISE!!! its a Zoo

:) I see this sign all the time just never thought to post it

[–]jackioff 240 points241 points ago

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Arizona at it's finest.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

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Arizona at its finest.

[–]chrisd93 14 points15 points ago

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Arizona at THEY'RE its finest

[–]liveat60fps 1 point2 points ago

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Personally I think your all wrong. I should know since my grammer is the bestest,

[–]Downtown 63 points64 points ago

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No, he meant to say "Arizona at it is finest." He was probably educated in Arizona.

[–]KorinTheCat 10 points11 points ago

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Grammar correction at it is finest

[–]lionheartednyhc 28 points29 points ago

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As someone who graduated from AZ highschool, I can vouch for this.

[–]jackioff 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, I will upvote the correction of my poor grammar.

[–]delicious_sandwich 144 points145 points ago

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What's not to love?

Oh yeah. Arizona.

[–]alemundo 50 points51 points ago

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To be fair, that zoo is awesome, and there's a Buddhist temple in that area.

[–]delicious_sandwich 68 points69 points ago

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I have no doubt that's all true. However, Reddit does not run on truth. It runs on stereotypes.

[–]The_designer_pro 21 points22 points ago

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it also runs on rphan tears and dead horses beaten repetitively.

[–]atypicalreddituser 38 points39 points ago

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Dead horse? Nope. Chuck Testa.

[–]Gonza200 25 points26 points ago

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Example: 1A

[–]The_designer_pro 2 points3 points ago

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dammit... i knew someone would say that

[–]ecmmyers 2 points3 points ago

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Dead meme? Nope!.. Oh, who am I kidding..

[–]atypicalreddituser 10 points11 points ago

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In Soviet Russia, Meme kills you!

[–]LyssaPearl 5 points6 points ago

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No number for Jakucha.

[–]LuxNocte 2 points3 points ago

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TEST POST PLEASE IGNORE

[–]therocketflyer 11 points12 points ago

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Cotton Lane is near the new Loop 303 and I can confirm all three of these West Valley locations are real

[–]ichae 9 points10 points ago

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is near the new Loop 303

And yet 404 is still not found...

[–]strangebum 1 point2 points ago

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Wat Promkunaram (sp?) Temple. I have visited the monks there on a few occasions. Extremely kind hearted individuals. The shrines in the courtyard are quite interesting. What I love most though is seeing the monks in full orange garb walking around Best Buy in Goodyear, always brings a smile to my face seeing them purchasing electronics. Something of an irony in it.

[–]MrMiller 1 point2 points ago

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Heh, yeah and I live very close to that sign. I'm feeling a strange sense of pride seeing this on the front page.

[–]scam_radio 5 points6 points ago

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There's also an abandoned dog racing track near there that is fun to break in to.

[–]PhilosophicalWaffle 5 points6 points ago

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God I hope that zoo doesn't have a polar bear.

[–]invertedspear 6 points7 points ago

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It does not. However it does have an awesome restraunt that wraps around a huge shark tank. Very cool.

[–]Microwave_Inferno 1 point2 points ago

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Been there! It was quite a dining experience. I took my dad there for fathers day. He got a kick out of it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Tucson's zoo does. It is jolly and never drinks Coca Cola.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Is that the surprise?

[–]SurpriseButtSexer 1 point2 points ago

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That's my road.

[–]MrMiller 1 point2 points ago

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No, it's the pickle.

[–]_Tix_ 4 points5 points ago

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To be fair, that zoo is Over Priced and every summer I get to smell all that 'wonderful' dung when the wind bows right.

Surprise!

[–]rckid13 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't know there was a zoo out there. What zoo is it?

[–]alemundo 3 points4 points ago

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The Wildlife World Zoo! http://www.wildlifeworld.com/

[–]Microwave_Inferno 1 point2 points ago

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An very cool zoo! You can feed those giraffe god damn it!

[–]sfitzer 1 point2 points ago

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There was a massacre at that temple back in 1991. Google

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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If you've been to Arizona, you would know we have some of the most amazing holes in the ground in the entire United States.

[–]delicious_sandwich 2 points3 points ago

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Been to Arizona. Nice hole(s).

[–]tahollow 18 points19 points ago

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Hey Arizona is awesome, the politicians and vast majority of the citizens are what suck ass.

[–]TrickyBastard 26 points27 points ago

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You know I see a lot of Arizona bashing on Reddit, to a point that I feel is unfair. Yes we have a conservative state and some really stupid elected officials, Sheriff Joe in particular, but there is a lot of incredible things about the state. The desert during a monsoon will always be one of my favorite experiences.

[–]RainbowStar 22 points23 points ago

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I miss monsoon season so bad. Scratch that. I miss Arizona.

[–]LordOphidian 8 points9 points ago

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Well then you wouldn't have missed it this year. This year's monsoon has been mostly dust and wind.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hagie 3 points4 points ago

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Not in Tucson. Our streets have been flooding in the rains.

[–]theghostofme 3 points4 points ago

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That's been pissing me off. I'm sitting here Gilbert checking out the radar online to see if a storm is gonna hit us, and every fucking time Tucson is basically covered in thunderstorms.

Hey, Tucson, stop stealing all our goddamn weather!

[–]LordOphidian 1 point2 points ago

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Same here in Maricopa, you can see the storm on the radar heading our way, and it just stops at I-8. But lucky for us, the wind keeps heading north and picks up all the dust with it.

[–]tahollow 5 points6 points ago

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Yea I know! It's a beautiful state, like I said it's just the political environment that's a little worse for wear. Get rid of sheriff Joe and brewer and we'll have one hell of a state!

[–]Chicken-n-Waffles 1 point2 points ago

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The only politician I've ever admired was Governor Zell Miller when I lived in Georgia.

[–]dmanbiker 1 point2 points ago

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I've lived in AZ my whole life, and I'd say the politicians suck -- not 'cuz the vast majority of the citizens suck ass. I'd say the politicians suck ass because the vast majority of the citizens are poor and don't vote, then another huge chunk of the population are poor retirees, who vote for old republicans no matter what.

[–]fajitaman 2 points3 points ago

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It's a big state with a lot of variety. Near the top of the state you have the liberal city of Flagstaff, and down at the bottom you have the liberal city of Tucson (where I live). However, there's probably no other spot in the country with so many Republicans per square mile as in Phoenix and its suburbs.

[–]drake11 2 points3 points ago

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And 90% of them are from somewhere else.

[–]itsthenewdan 2 points3 points ago

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Arizona (more specifically, the area near Surprise) does have a way of making you feel like you must be the coolest person in a several mile radius.

[–]ChachiV 5 points6 points ago

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Gotta love my state, where I can conceal carry my beretta 92 without a license. Also where I can drive 45 min. to shoot some quail next Friday.

[–]HoneyBunchesofOats 3 points4 points ago

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520's finest reporting in.

[–]pablohoney102 11 points12 points ago

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303!

[–]Im_Helping 49 points50 points ago

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id pick zoo or surprise...the other two are definitely gonna have angry black people

[–]theghostofme 7 points8 points ago

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Trust me, Surprise, Arizona, isn't as exciting as its name suggests.

[–]PersonEveryman 6 points7 points ago

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I border Surprise...in Sun City!

If you've never lived around people that are about to die, well then baby you've never lived!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Fucking golf carts...

[–]Norsnes 1 point2 points ago

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They're playing in Sun City? Bastards.

[–]mcgoofy57 1 point2 points ago

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As someone who used to drive a delivery truck 5 days a week through Sun City, I concur and leave you all my upboats.

[–]jfray2 1 point2 points ago

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Were you there for the 3-golf cart pileup on Grand Ave? If it wasn't for the high probability of death, it would've been one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[–]MrMiller 1 point2 points ago

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Sun City is very, very depressing.

[–]funny-chubby-awesome[S] 22 points23 points ago

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Goin' to hell for laughing. But then I remembered: there are no black people in Arizona!

[–]Atticusbird44 20 points21 points ago

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What Arizona do you live in?

[–]Lynnzie 29 points30 points ago

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He probably lives in the Foothills. Black people aren't allowed there.

[–]daversa 6 points7 points ago

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We're severely lacking in Flag town too.

[–]Lynnzie 2 points3 points ago

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Flagstaff was actually the first city/town to pop into my head. I've NEVER seen a black person in Flag.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I saw him once!

[–]mrgreyshadow 1 point2 points ago

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Me too! He was totally chill. I... Can't remember his name.

[–]sexual_octopus 2 points3 points ago

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Did you check the campus? That's where most of us are. Outside of that, we're probably pretty rare.

[–]boo7ha 1 point2 points ago

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I grew up in the Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia which is a sister city of Flagstaff, AZ.

That is all.

[–]Pankaiks 2 points3 points ago

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I live in the foothills and can confirm. However, south Phoenix is all black and Mexican

[–]hourouheki 16 points17 points ago

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What's with all the hate on my homestate? I love Arizona and most of the people (not all). There are FAR worse states than Arizona.

You leave my beautiful cactus state with a gigantic canyon alone.

[–]COPE_V2 1 point2 points ago

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I hate to disagree with you here, but I'm going to have to disagree with you here. Moved to the Phoenix area in 2003 from Brooklyn, NY. Worst. Idea. Ever.

[–]hourouheki 2 points3 points ago

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You moved from Brooklyn. I mean come on, what were you expecting? There aren't many places that you will find that match that style.

The upside is the Phoenix female crowd pretty much beats out anywhere in the US.

[–]chadillac81 5 points6 points ago

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Um ... yeah ... I say we go ... GO RIGHT, GO RIGHT!

[–]meebs86 5 points6 points ago

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i guess its time to go camping....

[–]blitz79 4 points5 points ago

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I hope the Surprise is a prison-zoo where the prisoners walk around in outdoor settings, climb trees and fling their own feces at each other OR a zoo-prison where you see giraffes in a barbwire fence lifting weights and playing basketball.

[–]PineappleBun 4 points5 points ago

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Those right there are the ingredients for a fine day out! Go right I say!

[–]Vintagejosh 2 points3 points ago

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I was in San Dimas waiting for Raging Waters to open and I saw a sign for the mall. I follow the sign to the mall and it was a fucking cemetary. Never got to go to Raging Waters either.

[–]roxtafari 2 points3 points ago

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MetroCenter was so much better back in the day.

[–]Dorkstick 3 points4 points ago

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Cotton lane for $500 Alex

[–]JokeLogicAnalyst 3 points4 points ago

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That is a sign.

[–]MaxPower88 4 points5 points ago

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No thanks, I'll just drop off my trailer.

[–]jcopacetic 3 points4 points ago

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I lived in Surprise for 6 years and still go back a few times a year to visit family. Surprise itself is actually a really nice town. I liked living there and I took my son to the Zoo quite often. It's nice, if expensive.

The prison is where Sheriff Joe goes when he needs to visit his pink underwear harem.

[–]explodr 6 points7 points ago

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The correct answer is Zoo.

I don't know why anyone would decide otherwise. Unless is was an evil zoo...

[–]Chimtah 6 points7 points ago

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Take no chances. Go back left to the trailer park

[–]Shannogins115 2 points3 points ago

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Prison, Surprise, and Zoo are all pointing in the same direction... So clearly it's a Prison's surprise zoo. Where children and come and learn about animals and prison rape all in one visit!

[–]eremite00 2 points3 points ago*

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That does seem a bit redundant, but I'd rather deal with that as opposed to the spontaneous changing of street names that I'm currently having to deal with here on the East Coast (from the West Coast where the majority of the street plans were laid out based on a grid system). In regards to multiple choice on tests, I think it would be extremely sadistic of an instructor to give a test on Scantron where all of the correct answers were the same letter.

[–]I_Smell_Panties 2 points3 points ago

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Where's "all of the above?"

[–]Anthrobunny 2 points3 points ago

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I know where this is. I used to work in Arizona and I drove by this sign all the time.

There's something even scarier down the road... an enormous cardboard cut out of a baby in a cotton field.

[–]GoldwaterAndTea 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen that giant baby cutout. It's mesmerizing and confusing.

[–]Allurex 4 points5 points ago

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The surprise is rape.

[–]m4dlik4bull 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I'd advise not dropping the soap around the hippos.

[–]ysotrivial 1 point2 points ago

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well...what did you choose

[–]funny-chubby-awesome[S] 2 points3 points ago

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The Zoo! but the Surprise was a tempting choice!

[–]justinlaz 1 point2 points ago

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only way it could get better is if baghdad was somehow on the sign too

[–]daversa 1 point2 points ago

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Baghdad is a crazy pace, I was just there a couple months ago. The drive there is fucking beautiful though. People were nice too.

[–]anti-anonymous 2 points3 points ago

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Duh. We shot the ones who were not nice.

[–]Fookananer 1 point2 points ago

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Cottonwood! I live in McGuireville

[–]lucas-hanson 1 point2 points ago

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Initiating surprise in 3... 2...

[–]shizza_ 1 point2 points ago

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Fellow....fellow Buckonian?? :')

[–]Arnkad 1 point2 points ago

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No love for Goodyear I guess.

[–]cf18 1 point2 points ago

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Found it. 1 & 2

[–]bent_my_wookie 1 point2 points ago

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And the best multiple choice sign in right outside Vegas and says:


| <- Las Vegas |

| Hoover Dam -> |

[–]Mudslingshot 1 point2 points ago

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I used to drive by that sign every day, and I took a picture...none of my friends thought it was funny. Guess I'm vindicated now.

[–]KinkotheClown 1 point2 points ago

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I'll take the zoo.

[–]azwethinkweizm 1 point2 points ago

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I go to Surprise every year to see the Rangers play spring ball. The local stadium there has the BEST concession food in Arizona.

[–]aworkinprogress 1 point2 points ago

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Go north another mile and wave to the cutouts

[–]telebision 1 point2 points ago

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SURPRISE ALL THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]ZippyDan 1 point2 points ago

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I like the tiny little yellow arrow sign in the distance struggling for attention :>

[–]AllThatIsGold 1 point2 points ago

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[–]baccathatassup 1 point2 points ago

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I'd go for the surprise. I already know what happens at the zoo...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Trailer Park to the Left.

[–]JacketOS 1 point2 points ago

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They're all the same place.

[–]The_sweeps 1 point2 points ago

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If you're on Grand Ave you might not get a choice. Fuck that road.

[–]darkmooninc 1 point2 points ago

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What do you mean worst? I FUCKING LOVE ZOOS!

[–]MansionTheHutt 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, Arizona

[–]Black_Acid_Devil 1 point2 points ago

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I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thank you.

[–]afrojoe5000 1 point2 points ago

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I drive by this everyday, I never realized how funny it is

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]HellOnTheReddit 0 points1 point ago

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I keep seeing people put this on line, and it's very funny to me because I see this in person every time I go to visit my Dad.

[–]funny-chubby-awesome[S] 6 points7 points ago

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Awwww...how long is his sentence?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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That's unfunny and insulting. What if his father was a gorilla?

[–]WolverineDK 1 point2 points ago

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Not be an ass, but the first time I read your message, I read it as :

"I keep seeing people put this on line, and it's very funny to me because I see this in prison every time I go to visit my Dad"

[–]Truthshift 0 points1 point ago

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I miss seeing that sign on the way to work.

[–]h00pla 0 points1 point ago

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The answer is totally zoo. No risk, and there's monkeys!

[–]freudian_slut 0 points1 point ago

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I live relatively near there, it's about as bad as it sounds.

[–]OneNineTwo 0 points1 point ago

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So basically prison is full of cotton-picking animals who will give you surprise sex? Isn't that a bit racist?

[–]greenways 0 points1 point ago

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my usual process of elimination is failing now.

[–]BopCatan 0 points1 point ago

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obviously 'Zoo' is the correct answer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like there all leading to the same place.

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 0 points1 point ago

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Surprise! Arizona.