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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 205

[–]Gusterr 212 points213 points ago

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Imagine that! So much protein and iron in one mouthful!

[–]poundingbassline 116 points117 points ago

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You just made my soul quiver.

[–]Catmand0 58 points59 points ago*

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imagine how they would all pop in your mouth. Like biting crawling gushers.

edit: I just cant stop thinking about this sensation as well as imagining the taste, and I am feeling physically sick.

[–]Manocean 27 points28 points ago

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My legs slammed together at that thought, I have no idea why

[–]DuckTruck 13 points14 points ago

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Ugh I flailed around involuntarily. Still shuddering a bit.

[–]AlyoshaV 3 points4 points ago

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Really? I've seen guys do that in response to imagining a piece of paper being swiped through the tip of their penis, but I don't see a point to it for eating spiders.

[–]monkeyfetus 5 points6 points ago

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Ahhh! Why would you say that!?

[–]riccarjo 1 point2 points ago

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TIL Reddit can make me cry.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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are you a woman?

[–]Manocean 1 point2 points ago

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I am not, that is why I am so confused

[–]Nemokles -2 points-1 points ago

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Answer the question, dammit! All women on the internet must be identified and subsequently mocked or showered in carma and compliments (depending on the ratio of opinions held in accordance with what is considered the norm for the males of that sub-section of the web and/or tits).

[–]KennyEdmunds 10 points11 points ago

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... Fuck you.

[–]beanso 11 points12 points ago

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Oh god. The legs would probably spasm after you popped them too.

[–]PenisFlyTrap 14 points15 points ago

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I hate you people.

[–]jakebluu 3 points4 points ago

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DAMN YOU IM ITCHY NOW

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]TheToastyMan 23 points24 points ago

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It's an endless supply of nourishment!!!

[–]lysa_m 14 points15 points ago

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Take that, so-called Laws of Thermodynamics! You just got perpetually burned!

[–]Abomonog 4 points5 points ago

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Thank you. I didn't need to sleep tonight anyway.

[–]ryder1011 0 points1 point ago

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That made my teeth hurt. :(

[–]get_me_ted_striker -1 points0 points ago

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"There's aburst of flavor!"

[–]jenova_83 21 points22 points ago

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Nope, rather drink my own piss.

[–]mintage 12 points13 points ago

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Anyone that would choose the living ball of spiders over their own piss should really just be killed now. Drinking your own piss is beyond tame compared to that.

Bear I think wouldn't even be able to do that.

[–]ThaddyG 6 points7 points ago

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I have zero problem with spiders and I would drink my own piss in an instant if I had to choose.

[–]Revantus 4 points5 points ago

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Bear Grylls?

[–]theKalash 0 points1 point ago

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Why choose if you can have both?

[–]Jighexadecimal 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, but imagine how fast you'd have to swallow to prevent some of them from climbing into your sinuses and out your nose.

[–]artyen 1 point2 points ago

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this comment made me throw-up in my mouth. kudos.

[–]denz88 4 points5 points ago

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My nutrition professor said you only need one fist-sized portion of protein a day. This should suffice.

[–]long_wang_big_balls 1 point2 points ago

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That is fucking disgusting. My day is ruined. Well played.

[–]Tokintegra 1 point2 points ago

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There is no way in which I could muster the hate required to properly express how I feel about this comment. Good day sir.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]coolcrowe 2 points3 points ago

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Me too, where's the NSFL tag?

[–]Learfz 0 points1 point ago

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Honestly, they're kind of adorable.

I hate spiders and I wouldn't go sticking my face in that web, but those things look like bouncy balls with legs...

[–]coolcrowe 2 points3 points ago

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You don't hate spiders enough

[–]Orteil 95 points96 points ago

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"AH FUCK, WHICH ONE OF YOU JUST FARTED ?"

[–]Dadatina 29 points30 points ago

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Nope. Closed it as soon as I clicked. As far as I'm concerned those were blueberries.

[–]sleepygamer 6 points7 points ago

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A nest of moving blueberries.

This is what I will tell myself.

I saw it for an instant and clicked away.

Blueberries.

Blue. Berries.

[–]Revantus 8 points9 points ago

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Blueberries with legs. 8 legs to be exact. Infested with more blueberries inside.

[–]HerrBBQ 1 point2 points ago

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Have an upvote for making me actually laugh out loud.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]phasmy 15 points16 points ago

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You are a cruel yet loving husband.

[–]xDMK 22 points23 points ago

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Damn you i opened this while I was scratching my head now im itchy everywere

[–]SomethingWonderful 12 points13 points ago

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Damn you for mentioning itching in this thread!

[–]HerrBBQ 1 point2 points ago

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DAMN YOU FOR MENTIONING MENTIONING ITCHING!

[–]KhamanV 40 points41 points ago

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Needs SPIDER warning.

[–]Kitosaki 19 points20 points ago

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[/'/'(:;;:)'\'\]

[–]Slayer1973 5 points6 points ago

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[ (\ (\;;/) /) ]

[–]TheifsTheme 53 points54 points ago

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Why not Zoidberg?
(/) (°,,°) (/) WOOPwoopwowopwoopwoopwoop!

[–]Boris_Eltsine 12 points13 points ago

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I would upvote this forever.

[–]Quazifuji 5 points6 points ago

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Any thread titled "Nope" has about a 50% chance of being spiders and a 50% chance of being Chuck Testa, so you're pretty safe skipping it either way.

[–]whyitisfunny 3 points4 points ago

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Exactly. They have one for NSFW, why don't we have one for spiders?

[–]fuzzynyanko 8 points9 points ago

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Them being spiders are one thing, but because they have red marks on their bellies, I'm more nervous about them being Black Widows

[–]AreWhyAyeEhn 25 points26 points ago

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I ran through a web one time at night just like this one. Worst experience of my life.

[–]LunarMeow 20 points21 points ago

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No. That doesn't happen in real life. They're just cobwebs that feel like those webs. No no no.

[–]mintage 7 points8 points ago

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What the fuck no - I think you need to make final preparations as you may combust soon as you could be harboring eggs.

[–]SkloK 5 points6 points ago

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Today we mourne the death of AreWhyAyeEhn, who accidentally perished in a fire last month. Police believe the reasons date back towards interactions during his, quote, "Worst experience of my life." A suspect by the name of mintage was apprehended earlier today.

[–]AreWhyAyeEhn 5 points6 points ago

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worst part about it was the spiders were like fucking infants, the size of a pin head, and there were hundreds of them all over me. I freaked the fuck out. I hated spiders with a passion prior to that, but that took it to a whole new level.

[–]gearvOsh 1 point2 points ago

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Go on.

[–]Raykahn 4 points5 points ago

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Then he fapped like a wild man in the woods covered in spiders.

[–]Mr_FuM 11 points12 points ago

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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]CaptainMoustache 2 points3 points ago

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I did the same thing on a mountain bike, my arm was brushed by another random tree branch and when I looked over a second later there were dozens of baby spiders that had exploded out of a little nest going up my arm.

I don't know how I stayed on my bike, I don't really remember too much about how I got them off my arm but I was freaking the fuck out and couldn't stop or risk being plowed into by my buddy on his bike behind me. I stopped mountain biking for a while.

[–]BadWolf29 27 points28 points ago

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[–]kevind23 30 points31 points ago

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This is a funny gif of the character Michael Scott from US TV Show, "The Office" saying:

NO! GOD!
NO! GOD PLEASE NO!
NO!
NO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[–]stokleplinger 25 points26 points ago

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....thanks?

[–]kevind23 52 points53 points ago

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I try to avoid clicking on nondescript gifs in a thread about spiders whenever I can. Just trying to help out fellow arachnophobes.

[–]coolcrowe 1 point2 points ago

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Seriously, I wouldn't have opened it if not for you, thanks... I think?

[–]23flavors 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks. I don't even know if that is really what the gif is, but I am scared to click and I like that idea so I believe you.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]90kandi 0 points1 point ago

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I see his name and STILL click on his links. I am a dumbshit

[–]kevind23 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ It's kinda scary how we're so used to randomly clicking imgur links.

[–]trahh 0 points1 point ago

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why are arachnophobes in a thread like this?

[–]kevind23 0 points1 point ago

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It's an addiction...it can't be helped.

[–]NYKevin 0 points1 point ago

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Do you have it with sound?

[–]Ferrarisimo 67 points68 points ago

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FUCK. EVERYTHING. ABOUT. THIS.

[–]arachnophilia 142 points143 points ago

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okay, if you insist!

[–]navypilot47 27 points28 points ago

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Almost a half year with this name? You have done your waiting. Have an upvote.

[–]arachnophilia 59 points60 points ago

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i'm not actually a novelty account.

[–]TheWill2Live 25 points26 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]arachnophilia 27 points28 points ago

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i'm relatively new to reddit, but i've been using this name online since about 2000.

[–]njtrafficsignshopper 31 points32 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]navypilot47 0 points1 point ago

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[–]SomethingNew71 2 points3 points ago

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Hrm

[–]navypilot47 0 points1 point ago

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[–]KingOfFlan 0 points1 point ago

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Spiders crawling inside your foreskin.

[–]ALWAYS_FULL_RETARD 4 points5 points ago

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i was expecting chuck testa... but then... this :(

[–]RedWing007 36 points37 points ago

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Fire. Lots of fire.

[–]4FukSake 27 points28 points ago

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ALL the fire...

[–]DoingYourMomRightNow 6 points7 points ago

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ALOT OF FIRE! ATTACK! FLAMETHROWER!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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an alot made completely of fire

[–]SykoKiller666 4 points5 points ago

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Fire on ALL these THINGS.

[–]likwidfuzion 3 points4 points ago

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Fuck it. Nuke this motherfucker up from orbit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's the only way to be sure.

[–]Briefs 0 points1 point ago

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Nuclear Launch Detected

[–]jeanpicard 2 points3 points ago

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Related: Once, when I was tasked with cleaning out my parents garage, I bought a blowtorch for the express purpose of killing spiders.

[–]Voduar 2 points3 points ago

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Exterminatus.

[–]Midgetgemmie 0 points1 point ago

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USE THE GREEK FIRE!

[–]m0llusk 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking: Cheese, lots of cheese.

[–]Just_another_man -1 points0 points ago

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Probably not necessary. They're all in one ball. Very concentrated and easy to torch.

[–]myinnervoice 6 points7 points ago

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I believe the man said "Lots of Fire". I think I'll be sticking with his diagnosis.

It's the only way to be sure

[–]SolInvictus 22 points23 points ago

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I think it's kind of cute. Spiderbros are awesome.

[–]lidster 29 points30 points ago

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[–]goodwij6 5 points6 points ago

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Never forget.

[–]oddballodd 3 points4 points ago

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Thanks a lot!!! Now I have to put my skin back on...wtf.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my basement talking to a friend and he asked me, "Is that spider real?" I saw this on the wall, then we both ran outside squirming and squeaking like two little girls.

[–]BunnyStrider 2 points3 points ago

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPEEEEEEEE

[–]NiceGuyMike 11 points12 points ago*

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Very chaotic [EDIT: hellish] game of musical chairs.

[–]Boris_Eltsine 2 points3 points ago

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I wasn't ready for this... Fuck.

[–]Alphabet85 2 points3 points ago

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::shivers and hops into the shower and cries::

[–]DuckTruck 2 points3 points ago

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NO!

[–]JLow1864 2 points3 points ago

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"Man this is a great party anOH SHIT WHO FARTED!?"

[–]vanillamuffincake 2 points3 points ago

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I was about to fap but after seeing this I think my vagina retracted in terror.

[–]monkeyfetus 0 points1 point ago

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Retracted? How does that even... It's already on the inside...

[–]IAmWillIAm 2 points3 points ago

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Every time I see one of these I find my girlfriend, show it to her, and tell her it was found nearby.

[–]Ginkachuuuuu 18 points19 points ago

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NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

[–]AF5RU 41 points42 points ago

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WTHH do you want to open!?

[–]Rottendog 12 points13 points ago

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For God's sake leave it closed!!!

[–]reddit_housekeeper 2 points3 points ago

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I have a pen here! Mwuhahaha

[–]jeltimab -1 points0 points ago

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lolz.... this is me whenever i see somespiders...... actually, this is me on Reddit! (nope, open!)

[–]BisonST 6 points7 points ago

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Nuclear launch detected!

[–]dethbytoyota 3 points4 points ago

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well. that's enough reddit for today

[–]subtraho 12 points13 points ago

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Spiders are cute. Why is everyone here such a wuss?

[–]TheFlyingBastard 3 points4 points ago

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I absolutely love spiders. Ever looked at a cross section of their bodies? Check it out. Look at how effective these critters are.

Last year a spider had built its web in front of my open window. Kept all the mosquitoes out. I didn't get bitten, the spider had food. They're our spiderbros and spidersisters. People should stop being pussies about them.

[–]ryder1011 2 points3 points ago

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WHY WOULD I FUCKING CLICK ON THAT? WHY WOULD YOU LET ME DO THAT GOD?

[–]TheFlyingBastard 3 points4 points ago

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Because it's just a schematic drawing?

[–]SantiagoRamon 4 points5 points ago

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Apparently being a wuss about spiders is the new cool.

[–]Rottendog -3 points-2 points ago

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It's the quiet ones that get you. "He seemed so normal. He just put his web right there and NOM NOM NOM!"

[–]kaveman6143 0 points1 point ago

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Evolutionary trait?

[–]tophat_jones 0 points1 point ago

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Srs.

And when did "Nope" become the new catch-all saying on reddit?

C'mon reddit brosephs, get yo shit together!

[–]Jarfol -3 points-2 points ago

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No kidding. We get it guys, its cool to like cats and hate spiders. Can we stop the repetition?

[–]sipefree 0 points1 point ago

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A huge, huge percentage of people have irrational fears of spiders, many of them to the point of being unable to function when one is near.

Whether or not this is an evolutionary trait, a learned trait, or just a non-internet meme is beyond me, but it's still counter-intuitive to tell people that they're being silly because of it.

I would consider myself a mature 20-something man, and the thought of a spider on my skin is enough to make me freeze or tear off all my clothes and run for Antarctica.

Perhaps everyone posting pictures of spiders is just the herd trying to desensitize themselves one picture at a time.

[–]Jarfol 1 point2 points ago

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Individual fears are whatever. I am just tired of all the reddit posts about it.

-pic or gif of spider posted

-comments: "NO, NOPE, blah blah FIRE blah blah"

It is in no way new or entertaining.

[–]brodie7838 1 point2 points ago

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Any idea what kind of spiders these are? They look cool.

[–]crazedguitarpicks 1 point2 points ago

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I knew it'd be spiders. And somehow my little bit of tipsiness made it not too bad to watch.... I kinda liked it.

[–]pieps 1 point2 points ago

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I can refute this.

[–]notsothrowaway 1 point2 points ago

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Everybody do the boogie!

[–]DonQueso92 1 point2 points ago

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I don't want to live on this planet anymore!

[–]mdtoolfan 1 point2 points ago

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someone get the gasoline...quickly

[–]thezebulonian 1 point2 points ago

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OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!

[–]dubstepzb 1 point2 points ago

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well i had planned on sleeping tonight, guess not, thanks.

[–]billzor 1 point2 points ago

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fuck everything about this picture

[–]almost_succubus 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, I actually like spiders, and this creeped me out.

[–]Tank18 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck. Never sleeping again.

[–]Cheddarwurst 1 point2 points ago

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fuck you.

[–]TrustyChords 1 point2 points ago

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Someone play just the tip. Come on. Do it. Just the tip.

[–]cleveringer 1 point2 points ago

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I am now sitting on my legs, since I did not feel they were safe under the table

[–]DonaldMcRonald 1 point2 points ago

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AW HELL NAW!

[–]UncleStiffy 1 point2 points ago

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I just found a brown recluse in my bathroom and this is not helping me sleep.

[–]AlSpeer 1 point2 points ago

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I was expecting them to form Spidertron.

[–]lowtenet 1 point2 points ago

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Flame throwers were made for this.

[–]jbranscum 1 point2 points ago

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NUKE IT FROM ORBIT

[–]jaredisle 1 point2 points ago

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Everybody dance. NOW.

[–]okaylogarithm 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for this, I was actually looking for a way to make sure I never slept again.

[–]cpnHindsight 7 points8 points ago

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Nightmare fuel.

[–]WilliamRedfield 2 points3 points ago

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And a High Octane one.

[–]bobgiaco 0 points1 point ago

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NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

[–]Rottendog 4 points5 points ago

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Nothing that a flame thrower couldn't cure.

[–]ryanspeck 1 point2 points ago

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Or a can of hairspray and a lighter.

[–]Jventure[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Hmm... time for some sleep, hope I didn't leave the window open or it will be a rough night :c

[–]mostawesomechic 1 point2 points ago

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I quit......

[–]dnbVice 1 point2 points ago

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NSFL Tag plz

[–]TheKingOfLimbs 1 point2 points ago

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I just cried.

[–]ATRAX0R 3 points4 points ago

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...just Chuck Testa

[–]Redcard911 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if Chuck Testa will taxidermy that?

[–]stokleplinger 5 points6 points ago

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Nope.

[–]kittenbrutality 3 points4 points ago

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doesn't do pets.

[–]tomparker 0 points1 point ago

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Here, hold this for me will ya?

[–]theaanggang 0 points1 point ago

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I would go so Yao on that

[–]NoSubrannke 0 points1 point ago

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This obviously isn't a Japanese video because there's no penis.

[–]Journeyman42 0 points1 point ago

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I had a minecraft cave like this

[–]ThisOpenFist 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one here who thinks this is cool?

[–]jessicaRenne1 0 points1 point ago

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No no no. . . i just got the worst chills down my spine

[–]aurich 0 points1 point ago

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This is what I imagine the Mirkwood scene in the live action Hobbit movie looking like.

[–]G59 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone here arachnophobic? I can't imagine how you guys can still be here with all the spider jokes.. geez, if someone constantly kept putting pictures of my worst nightmare/phobia, I'd be so done with reddit.

[–]shug7272 0 points1 point ago

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Wanna step on whole ball with one step...... must resist!

[–]xosweetgrli08xo 0 points1 point ago

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Oh. Fuck. There really should be a spider label for these kind of things...

[–]scootsmagoots 0 points1 point ago

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I'm pretty sure that's the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[–]angtheninja 0 points1 point ago

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Brain matter oozing out my ears.

[–]Rehauu 0 points1 point ago

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I just emitted an audible groan...

[–]mkicon 0 points1 point ago

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Why are there so many in one web?

[–]McCrackerFDA 0 points1 point ago

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airsol can and lighter! Anyone with me ?

[–]oneleginthebucket 0 points1 point ago

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oh god, warning on that!!!!!

[–]cwstjnobbs 0 points1 point ago

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Never have I felt such a strong urge to poke something with a stick.

[–]Ersers 0 points1 point ago

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I watched the gif 2 times. I am a man now.

[–]DoctorOctagonapus 0 points1 point ago

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KILL IT WITH FIRE!

[–]adaniel28 0 points1 point ago

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Dear god, why would you post that??

[–]zd91 0 points1 point ago

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[–]cawfee 0 points1 point ago

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Time for tickles!

[–]long_wang_big_balls 0 points1 point ago

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Ok. I'm just going to retreat into the corner of a dark room and cry now. Thanks.

[–]pissysissy 0 points1 point ago

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No.

[–]balloseater 0 points1 point ago

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Source?

[–]evxcxrostx7 0 points1 point ago

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where is yao ming when you need him?!

[–]tittyjack 0 points1 point ago

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"Mr. President, we need more nukes."

[–]LogicalRaisins 0 points1 point ago

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Please reddit, add a [spiders] tag. This made me piss myself.

[–]rondango 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else think this was going to be a Chuck Testa post?

[–]DistinctlyRandom 0 points1 point ago

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what's that on my hand...?

[–]Cahli_Ghostie 0 points1 point ago

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kill it with fire!

[–]JJ101 0 points1 point ago

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Hahahahaha. Nope.

[–]noizes 0 points1 point ago

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Nightmare-fuel Testa

[–]ArrowHound 0 points1 point ago

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This needs more...fire. yes thats it. fire. TO KILL ALL THOSE DAMN SPIDERS.