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all 102 comments

[–]dopeaquarium 76 points77 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

OP didn't even bother coming up with original content to convince the internet he has a girlfriend.

[–]VicePresidente 37 points38 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Sc2RuinedMyLife 8 points9 points ago

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ouch

guess he got found out

[–]NonAmerican 2 points3 points ago

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To the pitchfork.

[–]BringTheStealth 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Neckwrecker 0 points1 point ago

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I believe that's a bear who's lost his hair.

[–]tylertennisman 0 points1 point ago

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.

Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't so fuzzy...

Was he?!

[–]BearBare 0 points1 point ago

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You know it!

[–]Alekij 2 points3 points ago

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I just came here to make sure that was said.

[–]beards_and_bitches 7 points8 points ago

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hey.. atleast he tried. kind of

EDIT: for those of you have never gotten your man juice in a girls eye before, you need to get off reddit and do it right now. it's fucking exhilarating.

DOUBLE EDIT: i just pictured a wild mob of naked dudes running around the street, ejaculating on random girls eyes and shit. please don't do this.

[–]dan_da_M4N 2 points3 points ago

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CHALLENGE EXCEPTED!!!

[–]solinv 2 points3 points ago

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CHALLENGE EXPECTED!!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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CHALLENGE EXPECTORATED!!!

[–]Russz -2 points-1 points ago

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CHALLENGE DENIED!!! :(

[–]sneetch 120 points121 points ago

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And still enough left over to write on a cake... Impressive!

[–]PartyOnAlec 25 points26 points ago

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Retrospectively, not the best color choice on the frosting.

[–]Dont_PlagiarizeMeBro 12 points13 points ago

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Or is it...

[–]Russz -1 points0 points ago

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no

[–]RandomGirl93 5 points6 points ago

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It is, id forgive him. Then I'd suck his dick for the humor behind the cake.

[–]DeepGreen 2 points3 points ago

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You were so close to convincing me that you were a real girl too!

[–]RandomGirl93 1 point2 points ago

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Haha can't blame a girl for trying.

[–]mclellac 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, well hellooooo...

[–]KennyFuckingPowers 40 points41 points ago

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Written on the tray under the cake...

"And in this cake"

[–]DontStopNowBaby 4 points5 points ago

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Bet you think that was some sugar frosted creamy icing.

[–]MidSolo -1 points0 points ago

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NOPE. Chuck Test- ah fuck it, just give me your downvotes.

[–]winthepoo 3 points4 points ago

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(Pst...! I gave you an upvoat, don't tell the others)

[–]microwave333 -1 points0 points ago

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Bet you think im going to downvote you. Nope, Up Votesta.

[–]layinbrix 1 point2 points ago

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p.s. I'm not sorry, I loved it.

[–]Krelboyne 17 points18 points ago

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[–]mouha5 6 points7 points ago

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Is this your Girlfriend? . She gets around man.

[–]inthehouses 1 point2 points ago

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Sea men.....eye of the storm... i see what you did thur.

[–]biggyh 2 points3 points ago

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repost

[–]McQuack 2 points3 points ago

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Since you didn't actually do it, or actually make that cake, i would assume so. http://www.tineye.com/search/e097efd6fcf0b0557c46ebcf665e0e4fb9051729/

[–]Frickstar 2 points3 points ago

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Well I've seen this reposted like 12 times. So I doubt it's your girlfriend.

[–]dave1022 1 point2 points ago

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I know I would...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You're thinking ahead. She'll like that, it makes you look responsible.

[–]ishadijcks 1 point2 points ago

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Even this semen cake is a lie!

[–]iSunMonkey 1 point2 points ago

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Probably not. You didn't make this.

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Luner 1 point2 points ago

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Aaw! That will suffice.

[–]RandomGirl93 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I woulda gotten a cake. Shit. All i did was wash my eye out, waited a while and blew him some more. Thats love though.

[–]specs112 3 points4 points ago

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Doesn't matter, had sex.

[–]ramate 1 point2 points ago

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Not after she realizes you told the internet you got semen in her eye.

[–]Bananavice 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Rage4123 1 point2 points ago

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Shame it wasn't your brother. Then it would be an almost perfect repost.

[–]PolarTheBear 0 points1 point ago

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And that isn't icing...

[–]9thc 0 points1 point ago

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oh boy.. some times these things just.. you know, it's not really dangerous or anything, but still.. having a quickie just before meeting your parents, and then, for some reason, ending up trying to convince them you smoked marijuana as an explanation for the red eye, it can be pretty messy! and embarrassing in a weird way. i dont smoke marijuana, it makes you stupid.

[–]BlueDevil13X 1 point2 points ago

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The marijuana excuse only works if she lets you cum in her other eye, so that they are both equally red.

[–]9thc 0 points1 point ago

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luckily, my parents aren't that knowledgeable about drug use and its effects ;P

[–]RosieJo 0 points1 point ago

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What a weird looking cake.

[–]ishadijcks 0 points1 point ago

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But will it blend? That is the question

[–]ezodragon5 0 points1 point ago

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Not if you wrote that with your semen.

[–]wichofportobello 0 points1 point ago

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My husband would like to order six of these. Bastard.

[–]Demonicplaydoh 0 points1 point ago

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You must get killed on the cost of glasses

[–]godjustice 0 points1 point ago

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[–]superfusion1 1 point2 points ago

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you have mixed up your brackets and parentheses

[–]rumbler84 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TheyAreOnlyGods 0 points1 point ago

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I am not sure she is going to take to an apology in white-frosting...just sayin'.

[–]jelly_wobble_head 0 points1 point ago

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If you've ever had semen in your eye, you can never forgive. Shit burns like you wouldn't believe.

[–]Dadatina 1 point2 points ago

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I got LASIK 3 weeks ago and I told my boyfriend I can't have any semen near my face for the rest of my life. So far he's buying.

[–]BeRoKaViCh 0 points1 point ago

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She told a couple of us no.

[–]Plexicraft 0 points1 point ago

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I once forgot to tell a chick I was cumming while she was giving me head.... It came out her nose. I let her beat me a few times at Coolboarders though and everything went better than I expected :D

[–]evilbob 0 points1 point ago

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The ol' Angry Dragon. Nice.

[–]Plexicraft 0 points1 point ago

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Haha the "unintentionally angry dragon". I would never smack a girl in the head... while my dick is in her mouth.

[–]DMLawl 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. It burns dammit! I remember I got some in my eye before and I could couldnt open my eye... I imagine its worse then skull fucking. never again.

[–]indie67 0 points1 point ago

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No because youre trying too hard. You do not have to apologize. Its not even funny, just pathetic.

[–]neighburrito 0 points1 point ago

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Someone jizzed in my eye once, and it stung for 2 days no matter how many times I washed it. The fuckin' guy didn't even give me cake either.

[–]Fuqwon 0 points1 point ago

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Well I'm sure she knows it wasn't really an accident.

[–]axolotlkips 0 points1 point ago

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It wasn't up her nose or anything, right?

As long as it's not up the nose she has to forgive you

[–]geekgasm 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I got a cake after it happened.

Stings like a bitch.

[–]avery51 0 points1 point ago

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For ripping an idea that's been online for years and trying to pass it as your own? I doubt she'll forgive that. Especially if she has the internet.

[–]MissNikkiV 0 points1 point ago

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I always thought the phrase "ow my eye" was humorous until two days ago when it happened to me. As I drove to work with a puffy and red eye cursing my boyfriend, I realized there is nothing funny about an eye full of semen.

[–]ArcadianReverie 0 points1 point ago

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As a girl, I would. Not a good idea to do it again, though. Not unless you want to start dating your hand again.

[–]mercylessanal 0 points1 point ago

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Her fault anyway!

[–]Faquarl 0 points1 point ago

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Nobody is ever really sorry for that

[–]Evanderson 0 points1 point ago

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special icing? ;)

[–]flargenhargen 0 points1 point ago

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This is one case where I think a store-bought and decorated cake would've been superior.

I'd love to see the cake decorator's faces when you went to pick it up.

[–]Uplus2622 0 points1 point ago

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After seeing it was a cake, I wished for a cake in the shape of an eye.

[–]geek_loser 0 points1 point ago

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I like to give this to my girl before we do it... winkwink*

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Man up, she should be making you a cake for "pulling it out" so it got on her eye and not tonsils.

[–]BronwynMaye 0 points1 point ago

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Why, an Original Cakerie Tuxedo Cake! Nicely done.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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you should remind her as often as possible, I am sure that helps a lot

[–]jejemonster 0 points1 point ago

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Nothing says, "I'm sorry", like a creampie.

[–]OHWURD275 0 points1 point ago

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[–]cmd_iii 0 points1 point ago

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She would have, until you sent it to her office....

[–]soarhigh 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, her eyesight must have improved !

[–]throughactions 0 points1 point ago

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I wouldn't have used white frosting.

[–]GoGoGadgetDownVote 0 points1 point ago

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This is awesomely fucked up. Did you use semen for the spelling, though?

[–]shadowmoses -1 points0 points ago

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I would. Chocolate cake is awesome :D

[–]ShaggyBalls -1 points0 points ago

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Depends. Which eye did you get it in? Her dominant one or her non-dominant one?

[–]Turtlewax84 -2 points-1 points ago

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YOU COOKED YOUR GIRLFRIEND INTO A CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]turtle_logo -1 points0 points ago

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...joseph?

[–]turtle_logo 1 point2 points ago

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CALLED IT, FUCK YOU JOE

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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But I didn't do anything...

[–]KillerConejo -1 points0 points ago

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Can she still see the Cake?

[–]SmashAdams -1 points0 points ago

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Maybe you shouldn't of wrote it in white.

[–]GoGoGadgetDownVote -1 points0 points ago

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This is awesomely fucked up. Did you use semen for the spelling, though?

[–]imbeingcereal -1 points0 points ago

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if anything, she should bake you a cake ;)

[–]SexyBacon -1 points0 points ago

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I did that to a girl once and I didn't bake her a cake. Actually now that I think about it she made me food and blew me some more.

[–]DRTYRYDR686 -2 points-1 points ago

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Hahaha if she doesn't forgive you after that cake she's not worth it

[–]Auberiah -2 points-1 points ago

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If it wasn't chocolate I'd have to say no. Buuuut, since it's chocolate, she better forgive you, or you need a new girlfriend! : )

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KennyFuckingPowers 0 points1 point ago

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It's not even an animal, but nice try at getting in on the joke!