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top 200 commentsshow all 295

[–]lezswiss 143 points144 points ago*

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The almost-in-the-hippopotamus'-mouth guy is Marcus Hofmeyr, a vet at the Kruger National park in South Africa. The other guy is Nico de Bruyn, also a vet.

The two men approached the hippo thinking it was asleep, since they had darted it, but apparently that hadn't worked.

They both survived with Hofmeyr having his leg sliced open by the hippo's teeth.

The hippo though wasn't that lucky, they had to kill it.

Sources: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/8133729/Pictures-of-the-day-15-November-2010.html?image=1

http://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/print/d-75376543.html (German)

EDIT: more pictures http://www.marlothparkhonoraryrangers.co.za/?page_id=1882

[–]Phinnegan 48 points49 points ago

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"in an attempt to test a new chemical for sedating the animals."

I'm thinking a long pole would have been a better way to "test" whether the hippo was really sedated.

[–]lezswiss 10 points11 points ago

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according to the german article they had darted it from a helicopter and I guess had watched it "fall asleep". They had tried it on other hippos before (the "usual" one was apparently used for rhinos and was too strong for the hippos, ergo the test for a new chemical) and it had always worked. They continue saying that some water got into its nose which woke it up and it then attacked the vet.

[–]battering_maam 23 points24 points ago

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Hippo point-of-view: "If I pretend to fall asleep, all the delicious marbles food will just walk right up to me. It's brilliant ."

[–]Eye_Cue 2 points3 points ago*

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Hippos are herbivorous for the most part... though occasionally they'll indulge in some meat.

Edit: Also, they are very territorial, which is normally why they'll attack.

[–]Even_on_Reddit_FOE 7 points8 points ago

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It doesn't matter if they spit you back out when they've bitten you in half.

[–]cocorebop 2 points3 points ago

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i've heard in a bunch of places they're the most dangerous animal to humans killing more per year than any other, but i'm too lazy to google it

[–]KarmaN0T 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I've used method before. On your mom!

[–]carebeartears 11 points12 points ago

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yeah, hippos don't necessarily look it..but, they are definitely one of the most dangerous animals in Africa

[–]spandia 0 points1 point ago

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Hell yes they look it! Those teeth!

[–]LOLumad1013 1 point2 points ago

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how. HOW do you people find this shit?? I dont understand..

[–]CatboyMac 1 point2 points ago

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Having obscure hobbies and interests. It's pretty much the reason the internet is fun.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I specialize in castle and fortification floorplans. There's at least one of every kind on the net.

[–]Go_Away_Masturbating 1 point2 points ago

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Okay this is now a makeshift AMA...what's your favorite floorplan of all time?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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The classified schematics for the the coast guard ship I served on. But don't tell anyone. ಠ_ಠ

When it comes to castles and fortifications there's no fav, but I have an interest in historical places. Neuschwanstein, the Eagles nest, the Fürerbunker, White Tower in Tower of London and so on.

[–]lezswiss 1 point2 points ago

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Actually I had bought the edition of Der Spiegel in which it was featured because of the Wikileaks releases. Seeing the picture today I remembered I had seen it before either in a german journal, newspaper or tv show and that the hippo had to be killed, while the men survived. That didn't get me anywhere though, so I ended up trying out google image search and for once it worked!

[–]Rocktobot 1 point2 points ago

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why do they kill animals for acting institutionally :(

[–]cocorebop 1 point2 points ago

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"sliced my leg open while we were testing chemicals on it. guess we have to kill it."

[–]ENKC 434 points435 points ago

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All jokes aside, they kill more people in Africa than any other animal. Except humans, that is.

[–]glassFractals 44 points45 points ago

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Hippopotamuses are fucking terrifying. I think they may be my least favorite large animal... they're aggressive/territorial and filthy. No thanks.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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But you cannot deny that baby hippos are cute. They wiggle their ears in an attempt to fly around like giant bumble bees.

[–]Nuckster 17 points18 points ago

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[–]im_cute_dammit 3 points4 points ago

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[–]Shoola 0 points1 point ago

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someone needs to put the song "the moon" to this picture.

[–]JaggedJax 1 point2 points ago

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But Disneyland taught me they wiggle their ears when they are going to attack.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I can get past all that; what do they taste like?

[–]Vudukerz 7 points8 points ago

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Chicken. A big blubbery water-dwelling chicken.

[–]sigma89 7 points8 points ago

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Don't forget about their shit fan.

[–]Prototek 4 points5 points ago

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Hippos are my favorite bronimal. A true kindred spirit.

[–]stevesonaplane 2 points3 points ago

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I think they are my favorite. No one suspects a fat animal like that to bite a crocodile in half. They just want to be left alone.

[–]PlzAzPunch 2 points3 points ago

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But they're super cool and interesting animals.

[–]JMaple 2 points3 points ago

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Sooo filthy! They mark their territory by pooping while shaking their tail, effectively spraying they feces everywhere.

[–]vinfx 1 point2 points ago

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With enormous mouths and teeth that could crunch through your legs like biting through a pretzel.

[–]behaaki 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like my ex-neighbour..

[–]jamessnow 0 points1 point ago

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Plus they weight enough to squash you and they have powerful jaws and they can run like a horse for small distances.

[–]this_is_weird 0 points1 point ago

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[–]internetsuperstar 14 points15 points ago

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To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over a greater area.[57] Likely for the same reason, hippos are retromingent-- that is, they urinate backwards.[58]

[–]dummystupid[S] 152 points153 points ago

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Mosquitoes

[–]patternfall 197 points198 points ago

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Directly kill, then.

[–]namenottaken 68 points69 points ago

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Plasmodium

[–]davaca 93 points94 points ago

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animals

[–]fatdefacto 2 points3 points ago

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[–]north7 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck those fuckers. And fuck me for taking parasitology in college. Forever ruined, I am.

[–]Guau 23 points24 points ago

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I was going to say the Pope, with I think he is still human...

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 60 points61 points ago

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The pope still doesn't directly kill people. Unless he's the one behind all of the supposed hippopotamus killings...

[–]Lampmonster1 59 points60 points ago

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Does force lightning count?

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 22 points23 points ago

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Wow, I had not realized how much Benedict XVI looks like Palpatine...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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[–]dat1kid[!] 2 points3 points ago

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http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01367/pope_1367673c.jpg (put lightning on his hands and call it "relevant" for free karma)

[–]Perturbed_Spartan 2 points3 points ago

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UNLIMITED POWER

[–]Odusei 11 points12 points ago

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I don't think I've ever seen the Pope and a hippo in the same room. This is definitely getting suspicious.

[–]lurking_bishop 5 points6 points ago

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now, that you mention it, it does seem suspicious. The Pope is secretly a bear hippo!

[–]withstanding 4 points5 points ago

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The Hippope?

[–]SpermWhale 1 point2 points ago

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HippoPopetamus.

[–]babiesloveboobies 0 points1 point ago

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Good lord man, I think you're on to something here!

[–]thiefofjoy 0 points1 point ago

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that'd be so like him to orchestrate hippo killings, too

[–]DrewRWx 1 point2 points ago

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Rrr, Space Pope.

[–]poorpinto 2 points3 points ago

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Pope on Hippo vs. Darth Vader on Hermione Granger. gimme the spread!!!

[–]Vilvos 0 points1 point ago

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I think you with a preposition.

[–]butchersblade 0 points1 point ago

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Ummmmm?

[–]mrtherapist 9 points10 points ago*

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Mosquitoes don't kill people. The microorganisms associated with mosquitoes do.

Edit for: plasmodium falciparum

[–]jipijipijipi 15 points16 points ago

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Hippos don't kill people. The internal bleeding associated with hippos do.

[–]ENKC 5 points6 points ago

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Not quite apples and oranges. Viruses are living organisms transmitted by mosquitoes. Whereas internal bleeding is directly caused by the hippo.

[–]unclear_plowerpants 4 points5 points ago

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There is some debate whether viruses qualify as "life". "Life" is a bit harder to define than most people think. Also, not all viruses are transmitted by mosquitoes.

Malaria is not a virus.

[–]unclear_plowerpants 0 points1 point ago

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actually, the number one killer transmitted by mosquitoes is not a virus; not a bacterium either. Plasmodium falciparum (and all other Plasmodium species) is an eucaryotic single celled organism.

[–]darkciti 6 points7 points ago

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That was my first thought, too. I'm all but certain that ended with a fatality. :(

[–]LBORBAH 6 points7 points ago

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HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO. HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Hunting man is definitely the most dangerous game. But man is it ever rewarding. In all seriousness hippos are scary motherfuckers.

[–]hired_goon 1 point2 points ago

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The Egyptians feared and respected the Hippo's power and they became a common figure in their art.

[–]oscar333 1 point2 points ago

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and what kills the most people in a zoo...zebras, they seem chill, but they're pretty aggressive; and humans are squishy against their hooves.

[–]euderma44 1 point2 points ago

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Do you have a citation for that? I worked with zebras in a zoo for 12 years and have never heard that statistic. Went out in the yard with them every day, including the stallion. Most keeper deaths I've heard of involved elephants or big cats.

[–]oscar333 0 points1 point ago

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I could only find terrible sources just now, such as one in a comment section of an article and another in a flikr caption. Yet I recall first reading it on a card for a survival board game (again, not academic)...guess it may have been just a ruse after all.

[–]imasunbear 0 points1 point ago

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They're basically 100% wild horses. And horses are damn strong.

[–]hngryhngryhippo 1 point2 points ago

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Naw dude, we're friendly creatures. Just marbles. And fat chicks that look like marbles

[–]avanai 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was cape buffalo, and then hippos.

[–]JustJonny 0 points1 point ago

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Cape buffalo is the deadliest animal to hunt.

[–]dummystupid[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Man is the deadliest animal to hunt. I heard it In a movie once.

[–]Fresnel_Zone 0 points1 point ago

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[–]piezo32 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, if it weren't for the title, I would not have "lolled".

[–]JollyWombat 0 points1 point ago

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When I was small we visited a preserve in Africa and when we visited the river the banks were littered with 10-16 foot crocodiles. And a bunch of signs. The signs all read "Beware of Hippo!"

[–]mStank 0 points1 point ago

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Not true, mosquitoes, Cape buffalo, and Elephants kill more humans in Africa.

[–]thespag 90 points91 points ago

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The look of terror is valid. Hippopotami are extremely dangerous animals.

[–]WolfManD 15 points16 points ago

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I just realized Hungry Hungry Hippos is a secret subconscious savannah survival simulator.

[–]auraslip 4 points5 points ago

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Ah yes, another SSSSS.

[–]aristander 74 points75 points ago

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Hippopotamuses. I don't care that Dictionary.com lists hippopotami as the non-preferred plural, it is originally from Greek, not Latin, and therefore the plural cannot, under any real circumstances, be hippopotami. It could be hippopotamoi, however, but it isn't that either. It's hippopotamuses.

[–]bdog2g2 31 points32 points ago*

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Sorry, it's Hiphopanonymouses!

Source

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Hippopotopodes.

[–]Watergrip 9 points10 points ago

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[–]aristander 4 points5 points ago

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When I saw that I thought to myself, "No, it goes - They call me the hiphopopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless..." But I see now that you've just gone on to the next verse after the intentionally awkward musical interlude.

[–]Vudukerz 9 points10 points ago

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Did Steve tell you that, perchance? Hmph. Steve.

[–]Rasalom 116 points117 points ago

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It's actually Hippawhogivesafuck.

[–]theironkilt 2 points3 points ago

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I love people who get into the Greek and Latin roots of words like it matters at all. I have a friend who does this and everyone thinks he's annoying for it.

[–]eudaemonia 1 point2 points ago

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Somebody needs a drink

[–]carstairs 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Relevant sentence at 1:20, but it's an interesting video.

tl;dw: A combination of mixed-up language pluralities and accepted usage.

[–]chronicsyncope 0 points1 point ago

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Hippopotomopodes?

[–]hngryhngryhippo 1 point2 points ago

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Only if you're fat.

[–]blizzsucks 0 points1 point ago

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Unless that hippo is named Jessica.

[–]ivanmarsh 0 points1 point ago

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Aren't they actually responsible for more human deaths annually than any other animal? I thought I read that somewhere.

[–]manon7hemoon 24 points25 points ago

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Does anyone know the story behind this pic? Hippos are extremely dangerous... I wonder if he survived?

[–]DrJulianBashir 2 points3 points ago

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[–]johnybutts 38 points39 points ago

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shit was shat.

[–]older_soul 12 points13 points ago

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I went on a sunset cruise on the Zambezi River in like 2006. It was a pretty great experience. We saw hippos, elephants, gators and all that shit.

The problem (?) was that the boat also had an open bar. I wasn't much of a drinker at that point in my life, but foolishly decide to keep up with my hardcore imbibing friends. I end up drunk, obscenely so. We head to dinner (post open bar?) in another part of town.

So we're driving along now and it's dark as shit, with the exception of the high beams of our bus. My head is sloshing around, I'm rambling to my friend about something useless and am struggling to focus my eyes. Everyone else on the bus is pretty much in the same state. We suddenly stop. Everyone gets quiet. Something walks in front of the bus. It's fucking huge. My brain can't comprehend what just happened. Another thing walks past. Another. It's quiet as shit now. My exact words are, "Holy shit is that a fucking dinosaur?"

It was a pod of hippos.

[–]Taybaysi 61 points62 points ago

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Greatest caption ever

[–]MegiddoAGoGo 10 points11 points ago

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Aw, that's cute. Did you know a bull hippo can break a crocodile in half with its jaws?

[–]cocorebop 0 points1 point ago

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the second i saw this picture i said to myself "this would be the scariest moment of my life"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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but in all seriousness he could have died horribly.

[–]Osiris32 6 points7 points ago

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Dude in the green shirt: you are so very, very fucked right now

[–]bobadole 10 points11 points ago

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This is why in Africa you should always have an emergency watermelon on hand at all times

[–]casual_shoggoth 1 point2 points ago

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Good thing that water is already murky, because I suspect at least one man there is crapping in terror into it.

[–]Ghost_Fetus 4 points5 points ago

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Hippos will fuck your shit up, they're one of the deadliest animals in the world.

[–]stevesonaplane 1 point2 points ago

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At least you can see them. These fuckers make me never want to swim in the ocean ever again.

[–]meSteve 3 points4 points ago

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Man about to be killed by hippo, make hungry hungry hippo joke

[–]davidcelis 4 points5 points ago

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Hahahahahaha. This picture is funny because that man in the water is about to die.

[–]Vee_Vee 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck that shit. Hippos are scary motherfuckers.

[–]Lordrandall 2 points3 points ago

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NOM NOM NOM

[–]fauxsimile_machine 2 points3 points ago

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Wildlife rules: Never get between a bear and her cubs. Never get between a hippo and water.

[–]omnilynx 0 points1 point ago

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Never get between a hippo and ANYTHING.

[–]PremiumIC 2 points3 points ago

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Multiple special forces missions in Africa have had to fall back because of Hippo aggression. I can't find the story unfortunately but it was pretty crazy, one of them attacked an inflatable raft and sank it and all hell broke loose.

[–]Thx4AllTheFish 2 points3 points ago

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That dude is about to die.

[–]doolahan 2 points3 points ago

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More like "I'm taking your legs now."

[–]arkabuzaiko 5 points6 points ago

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[–]hypocrisy1776 13 points14 points ago

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NOPE. CHUCK TESTA.

[–]WipingWithRainforest 1 point2 points ago

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elbows in front man :| deadliest animal on the planet and you sit there...

[–]Disco_Drew 1 point2 points ago

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That really cool opotomus looks pissed off.

[–]anapolis43 0 points1 point ago

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I gotcha lol

[–]thehumanboy519 1 point2 points ago

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I hope I can one day be as badass as the dude trying to pull him out of harms way.

[–]Gourmet_Hotpocket 1 point2 points ago

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did anyone else read this and follow it up by saying "all your hugs and kisses too," in their best zz top voice?

[–]radiojosh 0 points1 point ago

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I was already making up songs about running the dishwasher to the tune of "Gimme All Your Lovin' and this was such a natural transition.

[–]wreslur 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah hippos in real life are scary as fuck, like bears they will just start eating you without worrying to kill you first, legs then arm to torso it's fucked up.

[–]nickman611 1 point2 points ago

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Hippo out of fucking nowhere!!!

[–]JesusHadALittleLamb 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know what to expect when I see an animal anymore. I'm in my backyard watching the birds and I have to wonder, are those really birds or are they.... We better not go there.

[–]omnilynx 0 points1 point ago

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No, you're right: they're dancer.

[–]troyANDabed 1 point2 points ago

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Good God that thing is terrifying.

[–]lussonaturae 1 point2 points ago

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Where there's a hungry hungry hippo, there's three more in waiting! Look out.

[–]gwrober 1 point2 points ago

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LOL!!! Srsly, hippos are assholes.

[–]Uberhatkat 1 point2 points ago

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Those are three fucking terrified white guys. Jesus fuck. I know crocodiles are nasty, but no. Hippos are bigger, smarter, and meaner.

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 1 point2 points ago

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I think I would be in full "poke with a 40 foot pole" mode before getting that close to an animal that should be tranquilized but might not be.

[–]KnightPanther5 1 point2 points ago

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Guy in the back: "He's done. I'm out."

[–]Chuck_Nope_Testa 1 point2 points ago

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I bet you thought that Hippo was alive...

[–]hngryhngryhippo 1 point2 points ago

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I'm late to this party, but I'd like to point out that I wasn't trying to eat him, we were just talking. Sorry about any confusion.

[–]soundersfcfan 1 point2 points ago

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didnt get it for about 2-3 seconds because i was trying to figure out if he was eating his legs, then i laughed so hard i choked on my chips

[–]genis2 1 point2 points ago

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I hope he's okay. Hippopotamus' are pretty dangerous.

[–]notacute 3 points4 points ago

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He's just a little hungry hungry.

[–]busway27 1 point2 points ago

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Not gonna lie, just about shit myself.

[–]wickawickawhat 1 point2 points ago*

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Hippos have strong jaws, he would have been fucked

[–]Endothes 1 point2 points ago

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Nope, just chuck testa

[–]Contradiction11 0 points1 point ago

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I suppose there is no video to this, but where's the damn story to this?!

[–]hellokitty 0 points1 point ago

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Once again illustrating the second slowest is still a winner.

[–]jboy55 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Erik Weihenmayer? Recently seen on Expedition Impossible?

[–]WalterScarff 0 points1 point ago

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I'd like to point out the posture of the man in the background.

[–]Alltra 0 points1 point ago

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Marble Madness

[–]poaac 0 points1 point ago

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My goodness! I miss hungry hungry hippos! One of my favorite games as a child.

[–]forresale 0 points1 point ago

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But I don't have any marbles

[–]makattak88 0 points1 point ago

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Did he died?

[–]saconomics 0 points1 point ago

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Mom?

[–]FiveVidiots 0 points1 point ago

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"Always pick the pink hippo; he has a knack for balls" -Tosh

[–]0ldblu3 0 points1 point ago

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I chuckle at stuff on Reddit all the time, this was a literal LOL, with gusto. Man, that was funny. Took a second to put it together.

[–]fishbutt314 0 points1 point ago

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[–]ReeveTuesti 0 points1 point ago

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I can't, I've lost all mine.

[–]babiesloveboobies 0 points1 point ago

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Cutest near-death experience ever.

[–]A-punk 0 points1 point ago

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He's just lonely and wants a kiss...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I guess it didn't matter since their pants were already wet.

[–]Omerov1986 0 points1 point ago

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HOLY FUCK!

[–]GJOP 0 points1 point ago

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"Guns ready; This one is hungry hungry!"

[–]ferenthos 0 points1 point ago

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Is the guy in the back doing "the lawnmower"?

[–]PotatoMusicBinge 0 points1 point ago

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All your hugs and kisses too

[–]justsigneduptosay 0 points1 point ago

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I remember how the Hippo was one one animal that the Crocodile Hunter was terrified of.

[–]ifUreadTHISiWin999 0 points1 point ago

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this probably had the potential to be a great gif.

[–]Dom9360 0 points1 point ago

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All your marble belong to us.

[–]sanfranman 0 points1 point ago

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ACHOO!!!

[–]no_pants 0 points1 point ago

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cheaters use the pink hippo

[–]darahen2004 0 points1 point ago

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what a fantastic creature...

[–]grimatongueworm 0 points1 point ago

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That hippo'll swallow ya whole. Little shakin, little tenderizin, down you go.

[–]Dmgincorperatd 0 points1 point ago

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I'm gonna jam my thumb in its butthole now! This should really piss it off!

[–]ireallyshouldbworkin 0 points1 point ago

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When I was ten my mom took my brother and I on a canoeing trip down the Zambezi River... it was hands down the most terrifying event of my life thanks to those sons of bitches. We were charged, bumped and just told to fuck off plenty of times by them. They are aggressive as hell, quick to attack and don't take kindly to people in their territory. Why my mom felt this was a safe family trip (for a 10 and 14 year old) I'll never understand... but I've had a hatred of hippos ever since.

[–]vladtheimbiber 0 points1 point ago

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She was hungry. Hungry for adventure.

[–]Leezus 0 points1 point ago

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If you let me in the mainframe, I'll drop these donuts. And then you can pretend they're marbles and you're a hungry hungry.....hungry hippo.

[–]BoomHedshot 0 points1 point ago

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So I think it's safe to assume that someone died in that picture?

[–]EmeraldGirl 0 points1 point ago

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Clearly everyone on Reddit already knows how aggressive hippos are.

Hippos mainly eat grass. Imagine if one got a taste for human flesh. It could bite you in half and swallow your children whole.

[–]pukesickle 0 points1 point ago

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I'm hungry hungry!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I believe Hippos are responsible for the second highest number of human deaths by animals after mosquitoes.

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 0 points1 point ago

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We. Need. Fucking. Hippo. Week. Now (period)

[–]sxysteve 0 points1 point ago

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Took me all day to get this joke.

[–]robobrain10 0 points1 point ago

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The title made me burst out laughing. Enjoy your upvote sir!

[–]Giantpanda602 0 points1 point ago

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"Hahaha yea, but seriously though he did die."

[–]nightswipe21 0 points1 point ago

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bahaha, i just did one of those goofy laughs in a cigar shop from this

[–]buttzirra 0 points1 point ago

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if you'd like some food that's supposed to be cream filled...

[–]akhokhar 0 points1 point ago

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this should be a movie poster for the movie adaptation of hungry hungry hippos

[–]sean95j 0 points1 point ago

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That's some funny shit

[–]stonedaddy 0 points1 point ago

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Guy in the back, "ooohhhh geeeeze"

[–]spinfreak 0 points1 point ago

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Great caption! After realizing what was happening in the picture I laughed pretty hard.

[–]evilclown397 0 points1 point ago

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4th time i looked at this i just got it facepalm

[–]sarawrr 0 points1 point ago

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Hippos are fucking crazy.

[–]BigLurker 0 points1 point ago

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haha this made me laugh for real

[–]PeteOK 0 points1 point ago

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Hungry Hungry Hippos.

[–]skankin_hazard 0 points1 point ago

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nuke the hippos

[–]feelbad4babycarrots 0 points1 point ago

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That's nothing compared to my cousin barry. http://imgur.com/d9JSU

[–]Generic_Racist 0 points1 point ago

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The caption should have been in all caps, just sayin'