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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]TheCannon 2322 points2323 points ago

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Property values.

[–]lunacraz 297 points298 points ago

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you clearly haven't heard of The Rims and Hydraulics Enthusiasts for the Betterment of Mankind Association

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 137 points138 points ago*

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RHEBMA MCENTIRE?

[–]esylvester6 68 points69 points ago

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DJ RHEMBA

[–]dwaxe 26 points27 points ago

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But they sued me for torrenting music!

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]W1nd 44 points45 points ago

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also known as NAMBLA

[–]dwaxe 26 points27 points ago

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[–]Pyromoose 34 points35 points ago

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[–]r_spiders_link 158 points159 points ago

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Actually, they're from a popular show on MTV called "Pimp my House." All the construction guys/hosts drive around and act like pimps as they renovate otherwise trashy houses. Link to the show.

[–]DWells55 57 points58 points ago

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ಠಠ  ಠಠ
ಠಠ_ಠಠ

[–]Andorion 6 points7 points ago

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//(ㆅ_ㆅ)\\

[–]cookie_42 58 points59 points ago

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FUCK SAKE!

Yes, I registered just to say that. Now, I remember reading about a plugin that could warn me not to click links from people or something? Could someone link me to it please?

[–]r_spiders_link 153 points154 points ago

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[–]richunclesam 68 points69 points ago

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Dear r_spiders_link:

Thank you.

I used to be terrified of spiders, but after enough of your posts causing me to laugh the milk out my nose over pictures of spiders, I'm now starting to get over it.

However, I'm still not adding you to my will.

Signed,

Your Rich Uncle (Sam)

[–]cookie_42 40 points41 points ago*

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Nice try fucker! Didn't get me that time!

Edit: But thanks for the name of it. You now have a nice red warning next to your name.

[–]krispykrackers 30 points31 points ago

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I refuse to friend him because I welcome the challenge.

[–]IntentToContribute 14 points15 points ago

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Same, I enjoy the game.

[–]DaCeph 8 points9 points ago

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I like the surprise.

[–]Priceless721 11 points12 points ago

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It's always a spider link. Always.

[–]myotheralt 14 points15 points ago

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One time it wasn't. You have to go through his pics to find it.

[–]r_spiders_link 35 points36 points ago

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He's right. It was part of a joke/dare, so it was this instead.

[–]ChaosDesigned 20 points21 points ago

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three fucking times! 3 fucking times!! The first time I just clicked the picture without thinking, ignoring the giant red tag next to your name. Then I saw it loading and saw a leg and said oh shit! And closed it before I got a good look. Then I saw the next comment and totally forgot I had just fallen for that trap.. the third one.. I was just curious.

[–]h2g242 9 points10 points ago

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GOD DAMNIT

[–]Stoney_MacGyver 2 points3 points ago

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good shit

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You are the world's greatest human/spider.

[–]UsernameUser 2 points3 points ago

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Aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!! FUCK YOU!

twice in one thread

[–]Smarag 14 points15 points ago

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This one got me even though I knew it was you and I have the Enhancement Suite. Thought you were nice for once.

[–]cdskip 2 points3 points ago

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It's. Always. Spiders.

[–]dwaxe 18 points19 points ago

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But really:

Reddit Enhancement Suite

Use it to tag him as "LINKS TO MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERS"

[–]IntentToContribute 17 points18 points ago

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I WANT THESE MOTHER FUCKING SPIDERS OUT OF MY MOTHER FUCKING LINKS.

[–]LadyPhoenixheart 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

[–]Rude_Canadian 2 points3 points ago

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what's that prickling sensation on the back of your neck??

[–]nels_ 2 points3 points ago

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This was both cruel and amazing

[–]mostseriousface 2 points3 points ago

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Oh you. I was thinking how you have your fun and then help a guy out... Reddit on my phone is a much more dangerous place.

[–]Kapps 2 points3 points ago

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True dedication would have been to link him with a slightly altered version that replaces his front page with r/spiders.

[–]zakalak 9 points10 points ago

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Not scared at all.

[–]DGrayman 31 points32 points ago

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Actually, I've been clicking on his links because I think spiders look cool.

[–]Gisbourne 13 points14 points ago

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He got me the first time and I was a little startled, now I just click to look at spiders from the safety of the internet.

[–]sparklyteenvampire 2 points3 points ago

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Me too.

[–]sparklyteenvampire 5 points6 points ago

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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

...Eight. Eight ways. Plus two for the pedipalps.

[–]r_spiders_link 5 points6 points ago

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Indeed. Not everyone can appreciate a good pair of pedipalps when they see one.

[–]IFapToSpiders 2 points3 points ago

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Dat Pedipalps

[–]DIGGYRULES 487 points488 points ago

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Boom. Roasted.

[–]Unrelated_Gif 268 points269 points ago

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[–]aronidus 28 points29 points ago

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Well that is just cute buuuuut could seem like a "you just got roasted" victory dance. So not all that unrelated

[–]Unrelated_Gif 48 points49 points ago

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[–]NolanRoss 121 points122 points ago

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Remember when people though google+ was going to be like that?

[–]ap66crush 7 points8 points ago

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Google what?

[–]zakalak 146 points147 points ago

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Animated JPG???

[–]eh777 44 points45 points ago

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Animated JPG???

Can you get it with sound too?!?!

[–]pikindaguy 5 points6 points ago

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Put this in the background: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cy5Xn42Ymo

[–]ZJIMYN 12 points13 points ago

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I love the music in the background!

[–]Doctor731 7 points8 points ago

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[–]dwaxe 17 points18 points ago

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That gif was actually somewhat related.

[–]dwaxe 24 points25 points ago

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But the file extension is .jpg. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

[–]antonbe 34 points35 points ago

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It's a GIF that's been mislabeled as a JPG file, unlike windows, your browser is smart enough to know the difference because it checks the content of the file before making a judgment. Older browsers wouldn't be able to see anything above.

[–]bohemian89 18 points19 points ago

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Older browsers would get confused and the computer would burst into flame.

FTFY

[–]aceslick911 7 points8 points ago

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Somewhere a couple datacenters are now on fire..

[–]wondertwins 23 points24 points ago

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"I like to sing-ah, about the moon-ah and the June-ah and the Spring-ah."

[–]jer21 6 points7 points ago*

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Now open this link at the same time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-26hsZqwveA

[–]Mordy2011 7 points8 points ago

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Id wait there just to see if neon colored cartoon characters came out of that house.

[–]fancy-chips 2 points3 points ago

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I don't think i understand this comment

[–]Khue 3 points4 points ago

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Police response times.

[–]Digi2112 8 points9 points ago

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oh snap!

[–]Token30yroldwhiteguy 11 points12 points ago

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This has my vote for comment of the year.

[–]dsokol 210 points211 points ago

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Yes, this.

[–]KevimusPrime 71 points72 points ago

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But Black Dynamite.. I SELL DRUGS TO THE COMMUNITY!

[–]gojirra 9 points10 points ago

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Be that as it may...

[–]Torrenthurder 24 points25 points ago

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Dude, I forgot how awesome this movie was. Thanks!

[–]Mattizzle 27 points28 points ago

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How could you forgot how awesome the most awesome movie is? It's easy to remember, it's more awesome than anything else.

[–]SaulTNNutz 20 points21 points ago

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CAPTAIN KANGAROO PIMP!

[–]randomb0y 22 points23 points ago

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Shi-iit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JIGGER_MY_DIGGER 162 points163 points ago

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JEAYUH

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]diversionmary 121 points122 points ago

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HWHAT?

[–]DaCeph 92 points93 points ago

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OKAY

[–]Howisdiscool 72 points73 points ago

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AHHHH SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET

[–]jezebelhussy 12 points13 points ago

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[–]dafragsta 5 points6 points ago

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URSHER!

[–]theantirobot 37 points38 points ago

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Performance and handling characteristics

[–]iamichi 8 points9 points ago

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The acceleration must go to shit.

[–]Dunbeezy 8 points9 points ago

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[–]titpaladin 57 points58 points ago*

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I live in Flint, MI.

This is commonplace.

Edit: There are other redditors in Flint? We should all meet up at the torch sometime.

[–]cardboardphone 26 points27 points ago

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I saw a pretty huge convoy of them rolling down to the Dream Cruise. Straight down I-75, probably 30 of them.

[–]spinozasrobot 57 points58 points ago

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Doesn't that mess up the speedometer calibration?

[–]atxranchhand 95 points96 points ago

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I don't think they notice since they drive 20mph on the freeway anyway.

[–]Wade_W_Wilson 139 points140 points ago

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They drive slowly to avoid cracking those massive rims on potholes. Heavy is the head that rides the donks.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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As true today as when it was written.

[–]diversionmary 28 points29 points ago

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So say we y'all

[–]speedbrown 17 points18 points ago

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Actually they drive 2mph, so everybody sees you. 2mph everybody sees you.

[–]imoutofstep 29 points30 points ago*

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Yep, it's also a compromise on the stopping distance. All the rolling mass in those big heavy rims is harder to stop. They'll throw in a lift kit and 30"s but they'll still have stock disc brakes up front and drum brakes in the rear. I've seen plenty of these with the front ends smashed in. DO NOT let a car like this drive behind you.

[–]DWells55 2 points3 points ago

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As a rule of thumb, I do my best to get away from any sort of crappy/blinged/riced-out car.

[–]smemily 5 points6 points ago

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Yes, significantly. Most cars have 2 or 3 preset wheel diameters that can be selected in the computer, but if you get bizarrely big wheels it messes that up.

Also significant is that the weight and size of those wheels makes your car slower and your fuel economy suck. The giant wheels help on the skidpad though.

[–]TheBeardofWin 157 points158 points ago

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"...to the chagrin of the Original Poster, 4 white male teenagers promptly exited the house and sat in the driveway syncing the latest Lil Wayne single across all over-bass'd stereos before driving to La Madaline's to meet their parents for their weekly church luncheon."

[–]DoTheDew 78 points79 points ago

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I can just hear the trunks rattling.

[–]NolanRoss 119 points120 points ago

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BOOM crshhcrkcrk BOOM bzzcrkcrshh

[–]9000UberChris 24 points25 points ago

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As someone who used to have a large stereo in their car (2000 watts RMS, 2 RE 12's), I do not understand why people don't take care of the rattles. My car was much louder inside than most, and much quieter outside. A little weather stripping, a few bucks worth of sound deadening material, NO RATTLES! I don't get why people don't do that.

[–]NolanRoss 21 points22 points ago

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Because they don't give a shit I guess. It truly is terrible though. They spend so much money on a stereo system and it sounds like shit.

[–]oxslashxo 3 points4 points ago

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Because they want everyone to hear everything~~~

[–]the_danimal 3 points4 points ago

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I have a bit of a rattle in my doors. But I don't know where it is inside the doors and I don't know where to put the sound deadening material. I totally would do that though. How do you know where to put it?

[–]SpeedGeek 2 points3 points ago

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The thing is they don't care about the sound. They just want it to be loud. Rattles don't matter. This is the same reason they go with ported over sealed. They just want dB over quality.

[–]dragons_fire77 2 points3 points ago

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How else am I supposed to let everyone around me know that I'm listening to AWESOME music? Roll my windows down?

[–]GhostGuy 2 points3 points ago

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I've always wondered; Do you hear the rattle from the inside, too? Or does it sound nice and clean on the inside while only annoying bystanders?

If it is really as easy as sticking on some weather stripping, I'm going to punch everyone that doesn't do this until they stop being retarded :(

[–]Norsnes 3 points4 points ago

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SOUNDPROOFING? YOU A FAG?

Well, that's what all the no-lifers rattling past my building every day and most nights would say. And my neighbour. And...I really need to move, don't I?

[–]9000UberChris 2 points3 points ago

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Indeed you do. Either that or learn to like bass rattle.

[–]Wade_W_Wilson 13 points14 points ago

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This is exactly how it sounds.

Well done sir.

[–]Sonic_Bluth 34 points35 points ago

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According to a review of my apartment complex, I live in a part of town which is "pretty much the ghetto." I was admittedly a little apprehensive about moving in because of this. Every time I walk past a black Escalade with huge, rattling, potentially noise-ordinance-violating bass and see in the driver's seat a white guy wearing a bright polo shirt and tennis visor that apprehension drops precipitously. It's actually turning to disappointment as I realize that I really just live in a part of town with a huge douchebag concentration.

[–]p_on_a_filthy_bitch 18 points19 points ago*

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I peed on your ass.

[–]theorial 2 points3 points ago

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Is that you R. Kelly?

[–]2020_president 63 points64 points ago

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GTA: San Andreas.

[–]repooper 18 points19 points ago

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Reminds me more of the cubans in Vice City.

[–]theknowmad 36 points37 points ago

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[–]orgasmorator 21 points22 points ago

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Ride quality.

[–]lbreevesii 12 points13 points ago

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Redonkulous

[–]chrisvarick 40 points41 points ago

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Ghetto book club?

[–]4rk4typ3 100 points101 points ago

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The heads of the 4 families; Donovan, Ladonovan, Latrey, Peewee

[–]Wade_W_Wilson 114 points115 points ago

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LeMichael, Keyshawn, Andre, Deon.

[–]beefwich 74 points75 points ago

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Levondrius, Jermichael, Jaquizz, Spooney.

[–]GenerallyBetter 90 points91 points ago

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Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael.

[–]beefwich 34 points35 points ago

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John, Paul, George, Ringo.

[–]ChaChaBolek 42 points43 points ago

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Up, Down, Left, Right.

[–]Erickj 16 points17 points ago

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A, B, Select, Start

[–]alifepurgedofluv 3 points4 points ago

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Brian, Ian, Mick, Keith

[–]choddos 19 points20 points ago

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Jamarkus, Tre2000, Jerome, Bartholomew

[–]threetwojuan 10 points11 points ago

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LeMoose, Latoya, Obama, Deshawn

[–]big_brutha_thunda 15 points16 points ago

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Kendrick, Marzine, Wayne, Oprah

[–]ChipsieTheCheapWhore 21 points22 points ago

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Really it should family names, so it would be Jackson, Williams, Johnson, and Jackson.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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[–][deleted] 42 points43 points ago

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[–]IVE 3 points4 points ago

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That KFC bucket has special levitating powers.

[–]Pupmup 26 points27 points ago

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Maybe it's cause I'm from the UK, but I have no fucking idea what's going on here.

[–]gravion17 62 points63 points ago

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Black people being Dumb...White people being racist...you know, AMERICA!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]billyup 23 points24 points ago

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Actually, it's more like Black and White people being dumb by being ridiculously obvious they sell cocaine.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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These are drug dealer cars.

[–]iamj33bus 2 points3 points ago

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Stereotypical gangbanger cars: shitty car with stupidly big rims. Popular among the lower-class in most major metro areas.

[–]steveilee 28 points29 points ago

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Shit man, that's CJ's house, on Grove Street. Gimme them duckets!

[–]Lagged2Death 2 points3 points ago

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Ducats I think.

[–]nogswarth 316 points317 points ago

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I would hazard a guess that, based on the hydraulics that are so popular in these vehicles, something is about to go up, and then down, and such forth in a similar fashion in a primal display of masculinity.

[–]Nougat 212 points213 points ago

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If it were hydraulics, they'd be teeny wheels with teeny tires.

[–]BeanBone 136 points137 points ago

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Yup, these are just donks; no hydros.

[–]vnmos96 18 points19 points ago

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Yup and what Donks are is pretty much a car with large wheels and a lift kit, like the ones that go on trucks

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MuseofRose 36 points37 points ago

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He's white.

Ask him about a Toyota Prius.

[–]Skadler 7 points8 points ago

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A rim enthusiast convention.

[–]megamoose4 3 points4 points ago

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donk da donk donk

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]el_capitan_obvio 58 points59 points ago

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I'll bet one set of those rims is worth more than all four of the cars combined. Ridiculous.

[–]woohoo 70 points71 points ago

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That's a common misconception that is often made by people who have never bought rims or Crown Vics.

[–]ben010783 7 points8 points ago

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They're surprisingly cheap now. 10 years ago, one tire for one of those cars would cost as much as a set of four of those wheels cost now.

[–]KatieLynnie 15 points16 points ago

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They got their priorities, man.

[–]got_my_priorities 73 points74 points ago

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So do I

[–]We_found_peaches 10 points11 points ago

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It's the annual "International Players Ball"

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago*

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There's a subset of the donkiverse where they brand their cars.

[–]cloeburner 2 points3 points ago

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I love them. I see a lot of those in Baltimore. There's all sorts of varieties... Facebook, Care Bears, Batman etc. There's Donk Clubs that meet up at Druid Hill Park. I don't really like cars; I'm a bike person myself, but Donks manage to turn my head.

Although they are stupid in their own way... I'm not much into the odd marketing side of it. In a way it's a dadaist approach to cars. An anti-art art.

[–]zetec 5 points6 points ago

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This...what?

why?

[–]yousername 5 points6 points ago

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Those are not lowriders. All these lowrider jokes yet none of these cars are lowriders. They are not even low!

[–]Imanitzsu 36 points37 points ago

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As you drive by in your black hummer......

[–]ArecBardwin 10 points11 points ago

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It's actually a Nissan.

[–]diamonddate 6 points7 points ago

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that's a Nissan Xterra.

[–]zoo32 20 points21 points ago

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A tea party of epic proportions.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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straight donkin'

[–]webby_mc_webberson 31 points32 points ago

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Ireland here. America, WTF?!

[–]intensenerd 34 points35 points ago

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Idaho here, America, WTF?!

[–]IVE 23 points24 points ago

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Go feed your llamas some steak.

[–]badjoke33 4 points5 points ago

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The extreme backlash and opposite of the lowrider phenomenon.

[–]DrunkInTheTrunk 93 points94 points ago

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I have a difficult time relating to a culture that values that look in a vehicle. What a silly, superficial cultural phenomenon.

'Course, I drive a minivan, so there's no accounting for tastes.

[–]TheCannon 260 points261 points ago

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I drive a minivan

Birth control could have prevented that.

[–]Beer_Is_So_Awesome 403 points404 points ago

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A single man with a minivan has all the birth control he could ever need.

[–]adaminc 121 points122 points ago

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A single man with a minivan has a 'sex barge'.

[–]TKING2724 15 points16 points ago

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Or, as my friend says, a shaggin' wagon.

[–]Hrodrik 7 points8 points ago

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And my mom wondered why I didn't want my married cousin's used van...

[–]SwellJoe 41 points42 points ago*

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Van or minivan? It makes all the difference in the world, brother. Let me tell you...a full-sized van, foam bed in the back, Led Zeppelin IV on the 8-track. You are gonna be swimmin' in women, my friend.

This may provide inspiration.

[–]cturnr 9 points10 points ago

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the fuck did i just watch?

[–]Rollondger 5 points6 points ago

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wtf did I just watch?

[–]lazyburners 2 points3 points ago

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Is that a Fast Times at Ridgemont High reference?

I think the van in that video does look pretty cool though.

[–]legendary_ironwood 7 points8 points ago

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I did some volunteer work in a poorer part of the US, and a lot of the people we helped lived in trailers that were in poor shape but they had nice cars. The guy leading the proggram told us that it is much easier for them to get car loans than home loans So to the locals, their car is the best investment they can get orthe nicest thing they can show off.

[–]TheBeardofWin 31 points32 points ago

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Do you have a hobby? Then you relate to this culture.

It's just a way of representing yourself through a hobby. It appeals to all kinds of people. I don't care for donks but absolutely love modded classic imports (particularly z cars).

Tomato/Potato.

[–]tablog 7 points8 points ago

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No, it's Tomato/Potato

[–]Wade_W_Wilson 21 points22 points ago

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Just like 12 inch lifts and monster truck tires.

[–]smemily 16 points17 points ago

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Minivans are the most practical vehicle ever... decent MPG, comfy, easy egress and ingress, CUBBIES EVERYWHERE, etc. That is probably why they aren't 'cool'. Coolness requires you to contort yourself getting in, or sacrifice creature comforts, or pay through the nose for gas, or etc.

It's sort of like women's shoes I guess. If you aren't hurting, they aren't fashionable.

[–]diversionmary 74 points75 points ago

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So Minivans are the velcro shoes of the car world?

[–]Crane_Collapse 13 points14 points ago

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You need "cubbies"?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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A man who is driving a minivan might as well also wear women's shoes. It's about the same effect.

[–]InfiniteLiveZ 2 points3 points ago

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Those wheels are too damn big!

[–]briaaaaaaaaaaaaaan 11 points12 points ago

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the average housewife spent almost 30 thousand hours of her life washing and drying dishes.

Wow.

[–]Intereo 4 points5 points ago

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the average housewife spent almost 30 thousand hours of her life washing and drying dishes.

Wow.

I think you meant to post here: http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/kil8d/til_that_most_people_outside_finland_dont_know/

[–]placated 3 points4 points ago

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Clearly the Nissan Xterra is about to start some shit.

[–]ChristopherT 4 points5 points ago

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That's a two door Tahoe...probably with even bigger rims.

[–]bmcclure937 3 points4 points ago

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Cars: $4000 total

Rims: more than the cars

[–]fenwaygnome 1 point2 points ago

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I'm relieved we know there is no one slinking up behind the photographer's car.

[–]glogtrem 1 point2 points ago

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Why are 3 of them touching bumper to bumper?! This is a bothersome turn of events.

[–]crkhek56 1 point2 points ago

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[–]intromatt 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like part of a movie set for the new Pee Wee Herman production.

[–]disavowed 1 point2 points ago

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Watch the fucking road!

[–]feistypenny 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only one who noticed the white, unmarked, kidnapping van in the background?

[–]seriouschris 1 point2 points ago

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Absolutely ridonkulous.