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[–]Bombibitt 177 points178 points ago

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Red shirt. Well, this isn't going to end well "/

[–]Dr_Emmet_Brown 961 points962 points ago

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The brown stool.... Really though come on.

[–]Cadmium72 233 points234 points ago

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Well... I got the black stool.

[–]erwindthesecond 251 points252 points ago

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Red Stool reporting in. Maybe im like a constipated superhero.

[–]Cancerous86 167 points168 points ago

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or one with colon cancer.

[–]R0607ninja 57 points58 points ago

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Worst superpower ever.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]butterflymcdoom 24 points25 points ago*

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By the power of Grey Stool...

Edit: Added link. And added Link.

[–]defensa24 437 points438 points ago

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I am, The Black Night... Stand.

[–]ItsSeanP 130 points131 points ago

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Purple Power!....outlet here by your side.

[–]KFCatz 42 points43 points ago

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Purple Nailclippers! I want to be inside you.

[–]eejasz 262 points263 points ago

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Skin Lemonade..

[–]cldstrife15 88 points89 points ago

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gross

[–]FrankieAK 33 points34 points ago

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Creeeeeeeeeeepy.

[–]Motherplucker 122 points123 points ago

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Baby Blue Gift Voucher

Fear me.

[–]beroh 747 points748 points ago

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Black Big Gulp ಠ_ಠ

[–]wildo421 195 points196 points ago

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I think Lexington Steel has that trademarked.

[–]Karlamonmon 96 points97 points ago

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LET it be known that wildo421 knows his pornography.

[–]biffbobsen 73 points74 points ago

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LET it be known that Karlamonmon also got the reference.

[–]wildo421 13 points14 points ago

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Caught red handed.

[–]FlozuzMozuz 18 points19 points ago

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Caught Red Tubed

[–]elhombrenator 1272 points1273 points ago

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Black Girlfriend

[–]Abraham_Shovelhands 1228 points1229 points ago

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I'm White Power Adapter. Nice to meet you.

[–]drtylb8 306 points307 points ago

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I'm Black Power Adapter. We're mortal enemies.

I'm sorry.

[–][deleted] 158 points159 points ago

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I'm grey power adapter. I guess I can't have an opinion. Oh and tell my wife I said...hello.

[–]Jackie_Paper 55 points56 points ago

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What makes a man go neutral?

[–]keghiaguy 26 points27 points ago

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With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.

[–]polyology 17 points18 points ago

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Can we trust him? All I know is that my gut says, maybe.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 628 points629 points ago

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The only superhero officially endorsed by the KKK.

[–]hmltnbrn 69 points70 points ago

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I'm Blue Power Adapter! Power Adapters, assemble! Yeah, fist pump!

[–]PositiveFalse 249 points250 points ago

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White trash says "Hi!"

[–]Irish_Bull 89 points90 points ago

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The White Ruler.. sounds racist, but I'll take it.

[–]rbevans 240 points241 points ago

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Blue Mouse!

[–]tomygun3 117 points118 points ago

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No shit, that's my name too.

[–]tea_and_strumpets 78 points79 points ago

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Samesies.

[–]rbevans 66 points67 points ago

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Blue mice unite!

[–]bageloid 46 points47 points ago

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We should form a club.

[–]Chrosbord 76 points77 points ago

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I was about to say a lot of Redditors seem to have rodent problems.

Then I realized. Fuck.

[–]rbevans 49 points50 points ago

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hide your cheese, hide your crumbs

[–]The_Darcinator 19 points20 points ago

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Blue mice ASSEMBLE

[–]haphapablap 17 points18 points ago

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And me! Let's take over this subreddit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Adrienne926 12 points13 points ago

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can Black Mouse join too?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]undeadboy 87 points88 points ago

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Black Mouse... I hate this game.

[–]NanoSexBee 19 points20 points ago

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Grey Mouse... we can start an army.

[–]undeadboy 17 points18 points ago

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Or raid the pantry and eat all the crumbs.

[–]djyxu 7 points8 points ago

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Grey mouse here.

[–]Noobitus 26 points27 points ago

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White Mouse! We got ourselves an army.

[–]lisabadcat 15 points16 points ago

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That was almost me too, but I consider "to the right" to be what is not under any part of my person.

I wonder if 'black girlfriend' was thinking the same way or not?

[–]aduric 11 points12 points ago

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Blue Mouse reporting for duty!

[–]THEother1x 12 points13 points ago

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Grey mouse reporting for duty.

[–]BlueButtBucket 550 points551 points ago

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Blue Butt Bucket...

sigh

http://i.imgur.com/WdHsJ.jpg

[–]Rydium 77 points78 points ago*

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Striped Butt Bucket reporting in! http://i.imgur.com/PxHV0.jpg

[–]Chippxero 159 points160 points ago

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The Black Wall

[–]ArthurBenevicci 517 points518 points ago

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[–]Plutoid 90 points91 points ago

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That's Awesomepropriate™.

[–]blowinbacksout 11 points12 points ago

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Sounds like were turning into more of a gang than a superhero

[–]O9Man 151 points152 points ago

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The Purple Red Pen.

[–]brningpyre 110 points111 points ago

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THE PEN IS BLUE!

[–]manimhungry 15 points16 points ago

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The god-damn pen is blue!

[–]MustStopMasturbating 406 points407 points ago

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Black... Boss.

Oops have to go back to work.

[–]tasty_beverage 43 points44 points ago

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[–]Greasy 16 points17 points ago

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I was so certain you were linking to this (NSFW?)

[–]texasjoe 82 points83 points ago

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And FFS, please stop masturbating.

[–]aliusone 130 points131 points ago

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Blue box

[–]LeoPanthera 98 points99 points ago

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You are The Doctor!

[–]Gauntlet 84 points85 points ago

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Clearly he is the TARDIS.

[–]enigma408 32 points33 points ago

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No, Tardis.

[–]gladvillain 51 points52 points ago

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Sexy!

[–]Helix_van_Boron 22 points23 points ago

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The angels have him.

[–]SirRosie 16 points17 points ago

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Sounds...sexy!

[–]nuggetbug 131 points132 points ago

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Whatever, mine is Rainbow Router.

[–]AuntieSocial 31 points32 points ago

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Manly gay: It's a woodworking router.

Fantastic gay: It's a networking router.

[–]SpeaksMind 59 points60 points ago

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lol...White Trash

[–]Hobojesse 265 points266 points ago

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Blackwater. ಠ_ಠ

[–]Pnek3 54 points55 points ago

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I hated you in Red Dead Redemption. Too cramped.

[–]BunsOfAluminum 327 points328 points ago

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Behold the glory of the RED WHITEBOARD!

[–]quiqon 177 points178 points ago

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White Whiteboard here...so we meet again!

[–]Naphine 50 points51 points ago

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Grey Whiteboard reporting for awesome

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]golgol12 34 points35 points ago

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And his identical twin brother! Black Whiteboard twin powers activate!

[–]BlameTheIntern 622 points623 points ago

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White Book of Islamic Environmentalism.... ???

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 560 points561 points ago

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Congratulations; you've just been charged with terrorism.

[–]thnlwsn 160 points161 points ago

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He's white so maybe he'll be fine

[–]LeGrandMuzzy 48 points49 points ago

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d.

[–]Tartarus1312 19 points20 points ago

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Fellow textbook hero reporting in:

Black Structure and Interpretation of Signals and Systems

too long...

Black Signals? Black Systems?

[–]vedraxdrims 52 points53 points ago

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fucks!! im blue balls!!

[–]screamingmantis 103 points104 points ago

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black guy.

[–]Osiris32 13 points14 points ago

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There's always one. Just don't go into the basement.

[–]Redfoo 97 points98 points ago

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I AM...THE WHITE COMFORTER.

[–]TheTreeMan 40 points41 points ago

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First world problems needs you!

[–]wordassociation 182 points183 points ago

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The White Toilet Paper will save you (yes I'm browsing reddit on the can. Don't judge.)

[–]UncomfortableWedgie 74 points75 points ago

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Well I must be you from the future because I'm The Brown Paper.

[–]mrdrsmashington123 292 points293 points ago

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BLACK FAPKIN TO THE RESCUE!

[–]starthirteen 118 points119 points ago

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Is a fapkin what I think it is?

[–]Togaz 242 points243 points ago

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It's exactly what you think it is.

[–]damunzy 69 points70 points ago

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I didn't think the 'F' key was anywhere near the 'N'. Oh, wait....ಠ_ಠ

[–]sargassum 46 points47 points ago*

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I think "Black Jack Russel" would end up being a villain...

UPDATE: The dog moved, plus I went and got the mail. I am now Black Cooking Gas Bill.

[–]AustrianKid 1063 points1064 points ago

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Sigh

Golden Dildo, here to save the day.

[–]dhjin 200 points201 points ago

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hahahha have you met my superhero identity? The Pink Hole Punch?

[–]DefyingClarity 95 points96 points ago

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Sounds like a dangerous sex move.

[–]big_slab_of_butter 59 points60 points ago

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Or the best sex move.

[–]ihatetowait 204 points205 points ago

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Yellow Breastpump here. We can do some good... or more damage.

[–]12etcetera 38 points39 points ago

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Meet your arch enemy: Flesh Guitar.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 225 points226 points ago

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You need a sidekick: Midas's Bad Touch

[–]Humpy1988 188 points189 points ago

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Naked whisky. Sighing with you

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Humpy1988 44 points45 points ago

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Awkward Naked Alliance

[–]alienangel2 31 points32 points ago

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Your top is golden?

[–]escalat0r 38 points39 points ago

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Or she isn't wearing a shirt but there's a golden Dildo to her right...

[–]Davey1212 60 points61 points ago

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or his right...

[–]ticklethehomeless 153 points154 points ago

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The Naked Pillow?

[–]ApathyInTechnicolor 91 points92 points ago

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The Topless Pillow here... nice to meet you.

[–]Dysana 44 points45 points ago

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Nude Comforter, present and accounted for.

[–]I_DONT_HAVE_AIDS 596 points597 points ago

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Thousands of redditors looking around trying to find a cool object that's not really to their right.

[–]McPantaloons 318 points319 points ago

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I did that after finding out I was the Grey Post-it.

[–]SaltyBabe 103 points104 points ago

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Yeah, Gray Dachshund here, ready to bite the fuck out of you ankles?

[–]Derporelli 48 points49 points ago

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Gray Tupperware here, with the power of storing your food or other small objects!

[–]irishmcsg2 22 points23 points ago

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Gray Potentiometer checking in. Go Team Gray!

[–]erlingur 15 points16 points ago

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Gray Plastic Bag Man here. Fuck.

[–]SanDiablo 19 points20 points ago

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Gray Pillow fighting for justice.

[–]Ol_gramps 71 points72 points ago

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The Orange and Grey Checkered Styrofoam Cup will strike fear into the hearts of villains everywhere....

[–]hulamonster 32 points33 points ago

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Black Coffee.

[–]nick1click 15 points16 points ago

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Hey, me too! There can be only one, wan't to fight to the death or something?

[–]BeachyKeen_ 100 points101 points ago

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.....Flesh Tissue....

[–]lastactioncowboy 78 points79 points ago

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well now i have a new word for vagina, thanks

[–]evansmith182 33 points34 points ago

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Green Lantern...yes!

[–]McDerpster 28 points29 points ago

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I am! Black Buddha

[–]ZeroKrysis 31 points32 points ago

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Grey Danish....forever alone

[–]JoxerTheMighty 28 points29 points ago

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The Teal Diaper Rash Cream Tube

[–]WryWreX 27 points28 points ago

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Red red wine

[–]boringlesbian 105 points106 points ago*

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Black Co-worker....sounds kind of racist. At least I can confuse my enemies..."Here comes Black Co-worker!" "Where? Behind that fat, white lesbian?"

[–]buzref 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Red Stapler.

With the power to...burn the buildingdown...

[–]tyelr 448 points449 points ago

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The blue waffle...sigh.

[–]zyswys 83 points84 points ago

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Do you mean the blue carrot?

[–]redhatter54 64 points65 points ago

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AHAHAHAHA

[–]Marmadukian 133 points134 points ago

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Never google this.

[–]cresteh 322 points323 points ago

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Always google this.

[–]bigpapaalex 169 points170 points ago

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Google this sometimes

[–]I_Contradict 48 points49 points ago

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Always follow the middle way: be moderate in all things.

[–]Strutham 84 points85 points ago

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Well, be moderate in some things.

[–]chazwhiz 7 points8 points ago

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Be absolutely moderate in all things except some.

[–]Trogathor 87 points88 points ago

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Woohoo! I'm the Shirtless Monster! I don't think that could've worked out better lol

[–]mojo_ca 36 points37 points ago

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Don't fudge the numbers, you're the Shirtless Plush Toy.

[–]sparkle_butt 49 points50 points ago

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All hail PEACH BOX!!

Should i be worried about hidden innuendos? Wearing peach and sitting directly to the left of a kleenex box...

[–]niomaster 20 points21 points ago

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Beware for the WHITE EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE!

[–]ArthurBenevicci 42 points43 points ago

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Graybox, reporting in. Actually sounds kind of catchy.

[–]PRedditor88 39 points40 points ago

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GREYFOX!

[–]ss5gogetunks 20 points21 points ago

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Shadow hide you.

[–]fucktthat 27 points28 points ago

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STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!

[–]kinkyle 13 points14 points ago

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Sounds like an elderly escort's name.

[–]harpster 75 points76 points ago

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WHITE STAPLERRRRR

Nailing bad guys since 1990.

[–]wildo421 11 points12 points ago

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So close, if only you could be Red Swingline Stapler.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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Red Swingline Stapler right here!

[–]razmathazmat 8 points9 points ago

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Blue Stapler, checking in.

[–]zodar 20 points21 points ago

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The Blue Backscratcher, here to save the day!

When you itch for justice, I'll be there

[–]Konrad4th 18 points19 points ago

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Looks like I got White Titties again.

[–]escapelogic 46 points47 points ago

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White Human

... (._.)

[–]DeanDaDream 32 points33 points ago

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The Grey Pussy...

[–]DukeFleed 14 points15 points ago

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The Naked Lighter.

[–]Klokateer 12 points13 points ago

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BLACK BEER HERE NOONE FEAR!

[–]oh_so_lonely 29 points30 points ago

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Green Lesbian. Alright.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 25 points26 points ago

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I'm the green mousepad :(.

[–]dermballs 32 points33 points ago

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You can be sidekick to me, Red Mouse. We sound like some commie, environmental duo.

Greenfields for the motherland.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 14 points15 points ago

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Silicon fields for the motherboard!

[–]gullale 9 points10 points ago

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I'm the Blue Mouse. I guess you're my sworn enemy :/

[–]Ch4rd 5 points6 points ago

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nah, you are just the friend who is slowly decaying into evil. I am the future version of you.

Black Mouse.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

[–]Tarsondre 7 points8 points ago

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I am also the Black Mouse. We shall duel to the death to see which clone was the real Black Mouse! Time travel and cloning can be a bitch.

[–]sobapop 25 points26 points ago

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The Yellow iPod Touch. As an Asian, I'm not sure how I feel about that...

[–]bob_villa 12 points13 points ago

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The Naked Closet

[–]verusisrael 23 points24 points ago

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Make way for the "naked shower curtain"!

[–]Wibbles 22 points23 points ago

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Blue Yoshi. Fuck you I can fly!

[–]OprahIsAFish 32 points33 points ago

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The Green Inhaler!

[–]LeoPanthera 34 points35 points ago

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Blue Ham Radio

ಠ_ಠ

[–]botena 35 points36 points ago

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How many superhero names are going to end in "mouse"?

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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I'm "The Black Sticky"

I kind of like it.

[–]nickelforapickle 18 points19 points ago

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THE GREEN BANANA! I'M HALF MEXICAN AND HALF JEWISH. THIS IS AWESOME. LIKE I'M MEXICAN, BUT NOT RIPE YET.

I WILL GUILT YOU INTO LETTING ME MOW YOUR LAWN.

[–]vikilicous 8 points9 points ago

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Naked moisturiser

[–]Auzwald 8 points9 points ago

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Blue Cup, at your service

[–]Asurnasurpal 9 points10 points ago

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Black Glass doesn't sound that bad.

[–]cuffofizz 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Green Hard Boiled Egg

[–]bfg_foo 8 points9 points ago

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Brown Mouse! If you... er... need a box of cereal chewed through, I'm the superhero for you!

[–]roland333 8 points9 points ago

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THE RED CURTAIN

[–]buniferous 8 points9 points ago

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False. BLACK BONSAI.

[–]Pyrofusion 15 points16 points ago

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Black Bottle of Hydrocodone: (Shortened: "Black Hydro")

[–]nochenueva 15 points16 points ago

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The Olive Puzzler

[–]Imacutter 13 points14 points ago

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Fear the CAMOUFLAGE WALL!

[–]CrossP 16 points17 points ago

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Naked smartphone?

[–]Snicklefritz-28 6 points7 points ago

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Duh da da duh!! The green toilet..........oh, okay.

[–]mccartyb03 8 points9 points ago

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black water. sounds cool actually.

[–]third0eye0pryed 7 points8 points ago

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The Naked Trashbin

[–]onlyadequate 95 points96 points ago

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gray marijuana

[–]wildo421 53 points54 points ago

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I am the Black Bong, nice to meet you.

[–]PaperStreetSoap 44 points45 points ago*

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You guys should team up and come over to my place. I'm the Green Lighter. Oh, you should pick up the Red Pizza on your way over!

[–]drell_ 18 points19 points ago

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Black Mason Jar of Pot here!

[–]dumbbutterfly 14 points15 points ago

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The Grey Day-Planner!

[–]Talthyren 12 points13 points ago

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Green Coffee TO THE RESCUE! , With my sidekicks (co-workers) the Grey Filing Cabinet and the Green Toaster!

[–]twenty-nine 6 points7 points ago

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Grey Bucket.

[–]Gruekiller 5 points6 points ago

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The Gray Bookshelf. ಠ_ಠ