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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]colonSTABBER 480 points481 points ago

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I laughed, then I felt sad.

[–]Dringus 256 points257 points ago

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I know right? I mean who the hell would ever mix argyle with torn knee hole jeans? You're telling me they couldn't find a decent pair of slacks?

[–]Vertyx 16 points17 points ago*

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Yeah I mean mixing fabrics is against god. That dog should read up on the scriptures.

[–]InterPunct 29 points30 points ago

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Leviticus 19:19, "neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee."

Wow. God's early consumer protection law, or was this a really severe fashion statement?

[–]MyPatronusIsAPiggie 16 points17 points ago

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...my God. That's real.

[–]LEDiode 5 points6 points ago

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TIL the path to righteousness includes fashion!

[–]kingtz 50 points51 points ago

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Ditto. I laughed for a good 5 mins, then I was like, "awww poor miserable dog..."

[–]root88 53 points54 points ago

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That dog does look bummed, but my dog loves her Eagles jersey. When I pick it up she gets excited, runs up, and puts her face right inside the shirt. It might just be because we also get excited and yell a lot during the games, but she really does like to play along.

Yes, she is still wearing a McNabb jersey, as she is protesting Michael Vick.

[–]koala_is_love 2 points3 points ago

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Cute St. Bernard!!!!

[–]Unrelated_Gif 10 points11 points ago

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[–]muddymidget 10 points11 points ago

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That sweater is a doggone shame

[–]bsrg 20 points21 points ago

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I just felt sad.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I laughed, then I fapped and sad.

[–]AdArbitrium 123 points124 points ago

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No wonder he's depressed. Poor guy has the worst case of hover-hand I've seen in a long time.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Debianasfuck 1 point2 points ago

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[–]NYDreamer 2 points3 points ago

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Thank you. I laughed 'til I cried.

[–]YouKnowWho222 1 point2 points ago

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hover-paw

FTFY

[–]Granite-M 293 points294 points ago

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This is an animal that is descended from wolves. Creatures that can and occasionally still do hunt, kill, and eat human beings.

First we made them realize that they could get scraps of food from us. Then we started keeping their puppies in our camps, and bred the friendliest of them, while killing the more wolf-like. Over thousands of years, we specialized breeds of them to do particular preferred jobs, or satisfy aesthetic desires, resulting in animals that are nearly genetically identical, and yet range between three and three HUNDRED pounds.

A human being has a bite strength of around 120 p.s.i., while dogs are around 320 p.s.i. This dog could quite literally bite that woman's hands off, chew them up, and poop them out.

But he loves her. No matter how silly of a costume she puts him in, no matter what kind of vegetable-based diet she feeds him, no matter how ridiculous she makes him look, that dog will always love that woman more than most of us will ever love anything in our entire lives.

There's something kind of wonderful about that.

[–]rhythmguy 74 points75 points ago

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http://dogbitesinformationandstatistics.blogspot.com/2008/01/canine-bite-force.html

PSI is not the best measurement of force: while a dog bite might be more likely to rip the skin, a human bite has more crushing force (which can cause just as much real, internal damage).

Also you vastly underestimate the amount of damage human legs (our best weapons) can do to anything that we can easily soccer kick or stomp.

[–]edster2003 204 points205 points ago

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WE FUCKING RUN THIS SHIT.

[–]NolanRoss 59 points60 points ago

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TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN!

[–]tyson31415 27 points28 points ago

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I was late for work yesterday because a grizzly bear was taking a poop in the middle of the road. I was on a bicycle, on a road 3km (1.86 miles) from the city limits, with a mountain on one side and a lake on the other.

As I contemplated my option (flee) I became very much aware that we are not actually on the top of the food chain.

Also, some bears really take their time when defecating..

[–]Divine_E 23 points24 points ago

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So... A bear doesn't shit in the woods?

[–]IDontherun 14 points15 points ago

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Why don't we do it in the road?

[–]Sir_Scrotum 5 points6 points ago

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You're thinking of the Pope.

[–]13143 5 points6 points ago

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not actually on the top of the food chain.

Oh no, we are. A well placed bullet will always beat a bear. Tools, fuck yeah.

[–]Eisenstein 5 points6 points ago

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Time to get some bear mace.

[–]tyson31415 12 points13 points ago*

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I'm only saying this because I care: I you are ever given the choice between attacking a grizzly with bear spray, and avoiding a confrontation by leaving the area, you should just leave.

It out-weighs you by at least 600 lbs and is packing 10 very sharp 3 inch claws on the ends of arms thicker than your leg. Once you spay it, the bear might decide to leave because you're hurting it, or it might decide to kill you because you're hurting it, and that choice is entirely the bear's.

[–]xbrand2 1 point2 points ago

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GO HUMAN BEINGS (dogs are cool too)!

[–]amheekin 1 point2 points ago

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I regret that I only have one upvote for you.

[–]terran_me_apart_lisa 1 point2 points ago

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HU-MANS! HU-MANS! HU-MANS! HU-MANS!

[–]mleeeeeee 13 points14 points ago

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Also you vastly underestimate the amount of damage human legs (our best weapons) can do to anything that we can easily soccer kick or stomp.

Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6pEC8yGs4w&t=10s

[–]rhythmguy 2 points3 points ago

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WOW

[–]Meades_Loves_Memes 7 points8 points ago

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Yes, we do have the power to fight off a lone K9, we didn't take over this planet on intelligence alone. However, Granite-M's point is still very valid, K9's are very capable of damaging a human, but a dog will be loyal and loving to it's owner that treats it well to the day it dies.

[–]TheForks 1 point2 points ago

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This is also a golden retriever which was bred to retrieve animals after they had been shot, therefore their teeth aren't very sharp so that they can carry the animal without biting through skin. It would be almost impossible for my golden retriever to tear my skin.

[–]leafspeakerwallet 7 points8 points ago

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I don't know, after saying that they were forced and bred to be friendly and lovely, his "love" sounds a lot less wonderful which is why I was confused by your conclusion.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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There is absolutely no way a Golden Retriever can bite a woman's hands off. That cannot happen.

[–]badgebadgerbadger 5 points6 points ago

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It's not like the dog can comprehend that he "looks silly". Everyone is anthropomorphizing just a tad.

[–]theferf 15 points16 points ago

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[–]katievanover 4 points5 points ago

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JORTS!

[–]apextek 1074 points1075 points ago

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[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 1156 points1157 points ago

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This is the whitest thing I've ever seen.

[–]apextek 333 points334 points ago

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don't hate the player, hate the game

[–]wise_comment 207 points208 points ago

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so....hockey

[–]Yes_Carl_Weathers 52 points53 points ago

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What?

[–]apextek 78 points79 points ago

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yes carl weathers

[–]workroom 64 points65 points ago

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NOPE. Chuck...

aw, forget it.

[–]Conford 74 points75 points ago

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Got no ideas for a comment on Reddit? Just use a meme, bro!

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 81 points82 points ago

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Or a novelty account.

[–]SHUT_THE_FUCK_UP 79 points80 points ago

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[](/)

[–]workroom 18 points19 points ago

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that's just non sexual and WAFFLES!

YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

[–]Conford 11 points12 points ago

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That's the stuff. Now sit back and watch as your comment karma increases!

Now you too are a top contributor at the Reddit.com!

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 33 points34 points ago

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2 legit 2 quit

[–]apextek 20 points21 points ago

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was before 9am and before my coffee here, when I made this one. My hardcore gangsta memes usually come to me at 3am after a 5th of Vodka.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 23 points24 points ago

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...after a 5th of Vodka few 40's.

[–]Fuck_You_Im_Scottish 16 points17 points ago

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[–]fiffle44 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, isn't that Snoop Dog?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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No, this is snoop dog.

http://i.imgur.com/bXZEP.jpg

[–]Braile 3 points4 points ago

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Yes, this is the snoop doggy dog all those young hoodlums are talking about.

[–]Bromleyisms 1 point2 points ago

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holy fuck, 30 days and you have 58 thousand karma? ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]apextek 48 points49 points ago

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thats ok, some will repost, reap karma, and I'll call them on it

[–]respeckKnuckles 17 points18 points ago

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*you're

[–]apextek 45 points46 points ago

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dogs can't spell

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]filmfiend999 3 points4 points ago

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That's worse than Ralphie's bunny suit.

[–]ghostbackwards 1 point2 points ago

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this comment I am making is buried in hell by now but damn that is some serious reddit shit right their.

[–]thisuserisok 128 points129 points ago

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Later.

[–]tordana 31 points32 points ago

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I'm disappointed I had to scroll this far down to find this response.

[–]Lekonua 11 points12 points ago

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As am I.

[–]GWJStryker 171 points172 points ago

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Who the fuck thinks this is fun to do? People are crazy.

[–]internetsuperstar 60 points61 points ago

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People are strange.

[–]mindwalking 50 points51 points ago

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when you're a stranger.

[–]MArales314 28 points29 points ago

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faces look ugly

[–]subdep 65 points66 points ago

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When you're a dog

[–]mindwalking 29 points30 points ago

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women seem wicked, when clothes are unwanted.

[–]KojakMoment 30 points31 points ago

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Treats are quite pleasing, when you're dog.

[–]FuzzyGorilla 13 points14 points ago

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When you're strange!

[–]JERBs 5 points6 points ago

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Somebody quick ! Grab a screen shot of this and submit to r/pics with a witty title about the wittiness of Reddit comments

[–]planetlike 2 points3 points ago

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SHHH!!!

[–]mindwalking 4 points5 points ago

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without mange!

[–]ZombieSocrates 3 points4 points ago

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Streets are uneven when you're down

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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You gotta dress 'em up to look like people before you have sex with them. That's the only way it's not illegal.

[–]drpcken 61 points62 points ago

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Who the fuck thinks this is fun to do?

Crazy people?

[–]hoard 91 points92 points ago

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[–]etothex 31 points32 points ago

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[–]doublicon 40 points41 points ago

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"You gonna get raped"

[–]BenAdamson 12 points13 points ago

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holy shit, that is scary.

[–]imgoingtorunoutofroo 39 points40 points ago

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Don't put your dick in crazy.

[–]aakenned85 19 points20 points ago*

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Aaaah hindsight.....

[–]addicted2reddit 3 points4 points ago

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He doesn't.

He said "wife", not "girlfriend". Duh!

[–]tashafromtulsa 12 points13 points ago

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You dog doesn't look as miserable. Maybe the sweatshirt is more comfortable?

[–]Koss424 15 points16 points ago

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the dog actually looks pretty miserable

[–]unsuspicious 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah, I agree. It's even got the depressed stance down.

[–]r00ban 5 points6 points ago

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Probably the same degenerates that throw doggie birthday parties and weddings...

[–]laaazlo 11 points12 points ago

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Or a bark mitzvah.

[–]vertigo42 4 points5 points ago

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my Dog had a sweater that came with a jacket for the winter(not having a winter coat made winters pretty bad for him) He would get excited when the sweater would fall out of his cabinet. He liked wearing it, but I hated it because then I had to brush him out afterwards because it usually matted his fur. Annoying.

[–]rhythmguy 2 points3 points ago

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We dress up my dog, but only when it's cold (also a golden retriever), and only in a shirt. She also never looks so unhappy. Sometimes we will put a hat or sunglasses on her just because.

[–]Awings 8 points9 points ago

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Anyone else see a reference for full metal alchemist?

[–]CelphCtrl 18 points19 points ago

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I thought of FMA, something bad is going to happen.

[–]OmNomNomBrainz 12 points13 points ago

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Nina...

[–]Neoko 7 points8 points ago

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Me too, haunting episode...

[–]LurkerTroll 29 points30 points ago

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I laughed at first but then I cried a little inside when this reminded me of the Fullmetal Alchemist episode where the scientist transmutates his daughter and dog into a homonculus

[–]ts87654 3 points4 points ago

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:( Made me think of this too. Time to go cry...

[–]Yegger 6 points7 points ago

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LOL this is what I thought of too. "COME PLAY BIG BROTHER"

[–]crustinXbeiber 44 points45 points ago

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That is probably the single most depressing thing I've seen all day.

[–]RottenCrotch 97 points98 points ago*

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Really?

Edit: Kinda NSFWish

[–]ZeppelinJ0 42 points43 points ago

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Fuck

[–]claymore_kitten 13 points14 points ago

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welp. there goes the last shred of innocence i had. thanks for that 4chan.

[–]I_Have_Bipolar 18 points19 points ago

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Now you need to change your name to claymore_cat = /

[–]pillowplumper 3 points4 points ago

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. WHAT IS IT. JUST TELL ME.

[–]Deathistheroadtoawe 14 points15 points ago

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Not sure what to do now...

[–]claymore_kitten 26 points27 points ago

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I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO DONT EVER FUCKING EAT FRUIT CAKE AGAIN THAT WHAT YOU DO.

[–]Majid83 10 points11 points ago

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I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[–]double-o-awesome 10 points11 points ago

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oh. my. god.

[–]pillowplumper 5 points6 points ago

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? What is it?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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Coming from 4chan to reddit a few years back, I just realized I kind of miss reaction faces.

[–]Leezus 3 points4 points ago

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"Mine is built much better than that, I actually put forth a little fucking effort though."

That's where I lost it. At first I was just fascinated and disgusted, and then it was all lols.

[–]haiku_robot 5 points6 points ago

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That is probably 
the single most depressing 
thing I've seen all day.

[–]HMARS 6 points7 points ago

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Later.

[–]jrhoffa 36 points37 points ago

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I don't need a boyfriend! I've already got my best friend right here.

...

Mom, meet Daniel. Shake, Daniel.

...

He popped the question!

...

Haldol.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 50 points51 points ago

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Who's a good husband? You are!

[–]apfpilot 47 points48 points ago

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read that as he pooped the question, laughed.

[–]PersianSpice 35 points36 points ago

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At least the girl is hot

[–]stratosaurus 41 points42 points ago

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[–]BAWLing 2 points3 points ago

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You got the wrong one.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MrHereToStay 9 points10 points ago

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My wife does this shit. I feel so bad for those little fuckers, but I'm not about to fight that battle for them.

[–]shadowthunder 482 points483 points ago

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Already dead; just Chuck Testa.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 357 points358 points ago

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I'm convinced that this post was a setup for this joke.

[–]clifwith1f[S] 41 points42 points ago

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shadowthunder and I had an arrangement.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 39 points40 points ago

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Chuck Testa was an inside job.

[–]claymore_kitten 18 points19 points ago

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9/16 never 4get.

[–]blamesomething 6 points7 points ago

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never 5get.

FTFY

[–]claymore_kitten 7 points8 points ago

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i luv u 5ever.

[–]MananWho 97 points98 points ago

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I wonder if anyone has ever posted a thread to set up a clever joke, just so they can later log into a third account and complain about how the OP and the joke submitter were obviously the same person.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 51 points52 points ago

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Your dream is becoming a reality.

[–]420anon 40 points41 points ago

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Wow... and it only took you 4 accounts.. or am I the 5th?

[–]gogog0 42 points43 points ago

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There are actually only 2 people who post on reddit, you and 1 other person.

[–]corporeal-entity 11 points12 points ago

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If I try to read Reddit while stoned the entire thing looks like a giant advertisement. Ever seen the sponsored links where a company will post fake comments praising the product? All of Reddit looks like that to me. All funny jokes are set up four accounts deep by the same person. Then I get paranoid and go back to r/trees.

[–]SwellJoe 6 points7 points ago

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Be careful. r/trees is part of the conspiracy, man.

[–]420anon 2 points3 points ago

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You're keeping up very well!

[–]MananWho 7 points8 points ago

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I do my best.

[–]Laaoa47 25 points26 points ago

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And that 1 other person? Chuck Testa.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 3 points4 points ago

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We need to go further down the rabbit hole.

[–]minche 5 points6 points ago

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eraw173 probably did it

[–]reddKidney 22 points23 points ago

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couldnt be...chuck testa doesnt do pets

[–]xbenny78x 14 points15 points ago*

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Someone IS paying attention!

[–]wtfking 93 points94 points ago

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Chuck Testa doesn't do pets

[–]FishFingersNCustard 24 points25 points ago

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NOPE! Note: Chuck Testa does not taxedermize pets.

[–]floompy 1 point2 points ago

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That dog looks so sad.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I know this girl, she just had a nice laugh at this post.

[–]JustPlainRude 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Hauskaz 3 points4 points ago

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She looks like Erin from The Office, which was strangely fitting.

[–]cresteh 6 points7 points ago

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I feel awful.

[–]COREYDOODLES 11 points12 points ago

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Did anyone else read this in the voice of the girl/dog chimera from FMA:B?

[–]NotMarkus 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck, I don't even remember any of the details of that whatsoever, I just remember being sad as fuck.

[–]seven67 2 points3 points ago

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He´s saying "PLS kill me" so he is begging for help

[–]causeproblems 2 points3 points ago

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I know someone whose dog owns a Snuggie. Not only does she wear it but she loves it. Nothing cuter than a little dog seriously enjoying a Snuggie.

[–]kaeserdc 2 points3 points ago

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Man, I almost posted this on my friends' wall. Lucky I remembered that 2 hours ago she posted RIP for her housemate's dog that died in her care.

[–]finalaccountdown 2 points3 points ago

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later.

[–]JuanKing 2 points3 points ago

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funniest shit i've seen in ages, never seen a dog look so defeated, poor dab!

[–]antipeterleague 2 points3 points ago

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Aw poor little doggy...how sad and cruel!!!

eats a burger

[–]gummih 2 points3 points ago

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It's like Abu Grahib all over again

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 6 points7 points ago

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I think you just inspired a spinoff of Toddlers and Tiaras.

[–]tungsten_knuckles 6 points7 points ago

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That dogs face says it all.

[–]marishtar 4 points5 points ago

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Shit, I almost cried for that dog.

[–]BoredOfTheInternet 5 points6 points ago

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There is a special place in hell for people who dress up their pets.

[–]cbung 1 point2 points ago

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[–]pbNemesis 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think dogs legs bend that far

[–]FoundPie 1 point2 points ago

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Dog arms not supposed to bend that way!

[–]technocassandra 1 point2 points ago

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OK, aside from the poor dog's suicide wish in his eyes, there's something ultimately creepy about this photo.

[–]CaveCanary 1 point2 points ago

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Argyle is sooo last week.

[–]PPpwnz 1 point2 points ago

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Poor doggy...

[–]InternetDickJuice 1 point2 points ago

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Natalie?

[–]kabukistar 1 point2 points ago

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I think I know that girl...

[–]TotallyTugBoat 1 point2 points ago

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Caption is perfect

[–]dasfeesh 1 point2 points ago

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Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

[–]Some_Douschebag 1 point2 points ago

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On the other hand, she looks pretty happy about the whole situation.

[–]BriscoCountyJr 1 point2 points ago

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[–]A-punk 1 point2 points ago

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I know hypertrichosis isn't an aesthetically pleasing bad disease but you don't have to be a dick about it.

[–]mangomonster 1 point2 points ago

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I'm in a silent study hall and Ive never had such a hard time holding back laughter

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'd do the one of the left

[–]lgodsey 1 point2 points ago

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[–]count_schemula 1 point2 points ago

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nothing getting those paws on those titties can't solve...

[–]Leshow 1 point2 points ago

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i loled so hard, and didn't feel sad.

[–]hiero_ 1 point2 points ago

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Later.

[–]lucky_lisp 1 point2 points ago

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I'll go ahead and be the Debbie downer asshole here. This is ridiculous, look at that dogs face, he is not happy. This is going too far for a "laugh".

[–]Gee_Golly 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ravenrue 1 point2 points ago

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Is this a reference to Fullmetal Alchemist?

[–]colordodge 1 point2 points ago

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Dog = Old Redditors, Woman = New Redditors

[–]NightclubDwight 1 point2 points ago

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Kurt Cobain Dog has no need for your conformities.

[–]uselessfuse 1 point2 points ago

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it's funny because the dog is wearing people clothes

[–]trystancellanj 1 point2 points ago

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Poor guy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That look on the dogs face is just so priceless.

[–]WithTwoWise 1 point2 points ago

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I lol'd

and then as I stared at the picture, I slowly felt like a huge dick. It was somethin' like

0_0dick.

...then I decided to skip typing a rant about why I'm completely against making animals wear clothing, and just say that right there instead.

...what's wrong with me?

[–]MVZOOM 1 point2 points ago

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She's quite tidy. The one without fur ain't bad either.

[–]TehBidoof 1 point2 points ago

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Nope! Chuck Testa

[–]tylerdurden77 1 point2 points ago

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knowing some animal nuts, she probably subconsciously wishes that dogs were bipedal and capable of wearing cardigans so that they could hump her and spoon.