My reaction to pretty much every overheard conversation on the bus.

CarlCarlson · 12 months

Often, while im walking with a friend and we're about to pass some-one on the street I will say a random, odd phrase like: "I didn't realise how many squirrels could fit in there".

I like to think it leaves them bemused for the rest of the day

BossColo · 12 months

'If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.'

krowface · 12 months

Today behind me on the bus I heard one little old white lady say to the other "it's like the indians are in charge of the reservation".

...fuck

nogswarth · 12 months

Every. Fucking. Day.

LaurelQuade · 12 months

My mom says the worst thing about people talking on the bus is when one of them jumps off and she ends up not knowing how the damn story ends.

[deleted] · 12 months

my reaction to pretty much everything people say to me http://reversegif.com/ncf

mrbottlerocket · 12 months

Years ago when I rode the bus, there were two homeless fellows that my friend named Homus and Gromus. One was fat and the other lean, like a real life Laurel and Hardy.
One day, Homus (the fat one) said to Gromus,

"You know. . . ever since Liberace died. . . I just haven't been the same. I don't pet my dog anymore. . .I just lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling."

mr_rogers_neighbor · 12 months

Best thing I heard/saw was in 8th grade. Keep in mind everyone on the bus is the same age so it wasn't weird or anything. Well except the bus driver... ANYWAYS...

A couple of "cool kids" in the back of the bus were talking about bras and such and asked this one hot girl about hers. One thing led to another and the hot girl on the bus asked if the "cool" guy wanted to see. My friend and I had been listening and obviously turned quickly to see what was happening. But sadly she was behind those big school bus seats. We laughed about how ridiculous it was... Though we wished we could have seen it of course.

A few minutes later I get off the bus in the neighborhood where my friend, the hot girl, and a big black (it's relevant later) basketball player lived. As we walk to his house (with the bball player ahead of us) we hear behind us, "Hey guys!" We turn around to see the girl flashing us and of course it's a OMG moment for an 8th grader. She quickly puts her shirt back in place and runs to her house. We turn to keep walking and the black guy is just standing there shaking his head and says "Damn... crazy white girl."

spankthrough · 12 months

Funny thing is, talking to hobos on the bus can be really rewarding - they're usually very nice and funny people. It's the 16-24 y.o. people who graduated/dropped out of high school who say the dumbest and most offensive shit. They're like pseudo-intellectuals trying to show off how awesome they are to everyone on the bus. FUCKERS, I WAS HERE FIRST! I AM THE BUS MAN!

kentrel · 12 months

Bus Wankers!!

yolfer · 12 months

Once I was walking down the street and I heard this crazy kid say "I didn't realize how many squirrels could fit in there."

Totally made my day.

katffro · 12 months

A year or two ago, my school decided to combine middle and high school buses. One day, I forgot my iPod and heard this exchange:
6th grader 1: Omg my mom wouldn't let me wear my strapless dress.
6th grader 2: Ughhhh are you serious. No offense, but your mom is such a bitch.
1: Like, oh my god. Right!?!! It showed off my cleavage. I want to impress -insert7thgradeboy-.
2: Wowwww that fucking sucks! You and -boy- would be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute together like wtf!
1: Rightttttt!?!?!?!? I hope that slut, -7thgradegirl-, keeps her fucking hands off of -boy-. I don't give a fuck if they're the same age, he's MINE.

I wanted to bash my head into a wall. These 11-12 yr olds had such potty mouths. They didn't even have boobs or anything, so I don't get what ~cleavage~ she was trying to show off.

borderline_spectrum · 12 months

Bert was the original Squidward.

redmightbegreen · 12 months

I will ALWAYS upvote this gif, regardless of context.

Geocat · 12 months

Most random conversation I have ever heard on a bus which a twist ending.

A Really old women gets on, guessing in her 80's, sits on one of those bench things across from a young slightly overweight girl (I would say chubby, but not really fat). The Old lady takes on look at the chubby girl and starts a conversation.

The Old women Asks "Why did you let yourself get so fat?" The girls just like " What? "Your so fat! I cant believe young people like you let themselves get so damn fat your disgusting" "Whatever" "I mean, that guy over there (she points to a guy slightly overweight guy a seat away), Hes got just the right amount, in the right places, not bad at all..(the guys expression what pure gold I must say, Hell I'm sure mine wasnt that far off his) ..But you, your a disgusting pig I cant believe you let yourself get this fat!"

At the point the girls clearly angry and simply starts ignoring the old women, who basically is now in a mumbling rant about out of shape fat girls, which goes on for several minutes. Then we get to the old women's stop she gets up, tells the girl to work out more, and gets off.

As soon as shes off the girl says to the people around her "If that bitch wasn't like 100 I would of slapped her so hard."

Then that guy who the old lady was um, admiring, before leans over and says to the girl "I Don't think your fat I think your beautiful!"(exact quote) She seemed pleased, he came over and sat beside her and they started talking, my stop came up then. I found the whole thing very ironic, the old lady dissing her weight might of actually got her and some random guy together.

woofers02 · 12 months

I cannot ride public transportion without headphones. No headphones? Looks like I'm walkin today.

Rentiak · 12 months

Perhaps the origin of this... ?

FixtheFernback757 · 12 months

"DUDE! How can you be reading at a time like this!?!"

Me- "Go away, don't bother me."

"But... Scarlett Johansson! NAKED!!"

Me: ...

Chicane · 12 months

I overheard this conversation that continued as such: "...we can do elephant walking.

What's elephant walking?

It's where you shove your hand up each others butts and walk around like elephants do with their trunks."

Wat.

TumorPizza · 12 months

When I moved to NYC fifteen years ago, I used to love listening to people on the subway. That lasted about a year. Then I realized that listening to music while reading made the commute pretty much instantaneous.

raoullduke72 · 12 months

I overheard a conversation a few years ago on the Baltimore Metro that really drove home how rough poverty and the inner city can really be. It was a conversation between a man and woman, both black and in their 40s. It sounded like one of those discussions people have with someone they've not seen in ages and your catching up with them and talking about common acquaintances. Oh, with the exception that two people they had know had been murdered and another named "Shorty" was just sent to prison for killing some woman!

It was definitely a 'Holy Fucking Shit' moment for me. What was so surreal about the conversation was that neither were seemed that shocked upon hearing that someone they knew had been murdered or had committed a murder. Let me tell ya'll what it's like, bein' male, middle-class and white...

edit: grammar

diewhitegirls · 12 months

My reaction to pretty much every Bert reference in existence.

Tashre · 12 months

I'd venture to say you could apply this to every thread on reddit with varying degrees of success.

Deluxx00 · 12 months

These elementary kids were calling each other out on who pisses on their bed.

Omgitstheash · 12 months

I always laughed so hard at this. Awesome.

animatedradio · 12 months

Completely my reaction when I heard the sound of someone changing the cd in their discman while I was on the bus a few weeks ago.

h0ser · 12 months

I left this on when I went to work, I came back and the first thing I saw was Bert gradually looking up from his book at me.

Pemby · 12 months

Once on a trip to San Francisco we heard these two middle-aged black ladies talking on the bus behind us as we rode out to Golden Gate Park. I mention their race and their age because maybe I'm a sheltered white girl but I don't often think of middle-aged black ladies as pet mouse owners. This is what they were talking about - or rather, one was dominating the conversation talking about her pet mice and the other was being polite.

We became aware of the conversation and it's horrible that I can't remember more but she was getting really worked up about how one of her mice keeps having babies. She was saying how she calls her "slut" instead of her regular pet mouse name and she would re-enact conversations she would have with this slut mouse. Things like "and the other day I saw she had more babies and I said to her, you're a slut mouse! Look at you, little slut mouse! You're just a horny little slut! You need to quit fucking so much!"

This went on for a good 30 minutes or so because we got stuck in traffic when I think a fire hydrant had been leaking or something. Anyway, my boyfriend was really disappointed because we were there to have a research vacation and he had a voice recorder but we had left it in the hostel that day. It will have to live on in our memories.

lift_or_die · 12 months

aware

Dino_driver · 12 months

Reading a book and hearing at the same time: "Oh honey, thank you for this morning, you really made my day". Did,did you do? D:

stoicme · 12 months

there's a reason why my headphones stay firmly planted in my ears from the moment I step on the bus, until I'm getting off.

thebeardsman · 12 months

Video to the original sesame street clip this was in?

giveitago · 12 months

Heard two kids talking about buying an AK47 and killing rival drug dealer.

bunglejerry · 12 months

Just yesterday morning a young woman standing next to me had a teary-eyed break up with her boyfriend via cell phone. It was sad, but also annoying and very much a Jerry Springer moment.

I don't get why cell phones make some people so oblivious to their environment. I'm self-conscious as hell when talking on a cell phone in public.

millioneyed · 12 months

Not the bus, but overheard from an old man yesterday at a Starbucks: "I just.... I don't want tobe here for the next wave of immigrants. Unless I have a say in where they come from."

Stay classy.

anthonyadornetto · 12 months

Anyone know the original context of this? I mean, what was Bert's emotional state when looking up from this book?

CheekyMunky · 12 months

My job consists of listening to people's conversations (or half of them, anyway).

There are a lot of stupid people in this country. Many of them willfully so.

caffeinatedpanda · 12 months

while walking down the street i heard this: Person1: . . .this is a dirty city. Person 2: in a sassy voice In more ways than one! This completely made my day :D

A_Twilight_Zone · 12 months

I was on the monorails at Disney World one day, when the two women in my car got to know each other very fast as they both found out the other had also been a man before getting married.

WolgLarutan · 12 months

I knew what Bert was going to do before the GIF starred animating. This means I am either very old or very young. (I was not disappointed.)

55fifty · 12 months

anyone else think this expression applies to how you feel when you pass an activist on the street? not the people with the signs protesting things, the people working for greenpeace, the aclu, planned parenthood. if you live in a big city you know what i mean

thejakehowell · 12 months

Some guy on the L yesterday in Chicago was talking on his phone in this crowded car, nearly screaming into the receiver, about how reverse racism was preventing him from getting a job and how bullshit affirmative action was. "I served this country in war and now I can't get a job at McDonald's because of the fucking blacks, mexicans, indians etc. etc."

He sees me gives him a dirty look for being such an asshole and goes: "Oh, you got a job, kid? Look at that lip-piercing I bet you work some really fucking cool job." I am a student, but I do Public Works over the summers so I told him that's what I do.

"Whatever man, I'm a fucking veteran, I've seen shit you haven't even dreamt of." To which I respond, "dude, you don't know me or where I've been."

He says, "Yeah and I don't give a shit." Me: "And guess what, nobody on this train gives a shit about your bullshit so shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself." He got quiet and got off a few stops later.

Magnesus · 12 months

I once overheard some young wannabe computer specialists talking how surprised they were when Pentium 4 processor didn't want to work without a fan. (at least that Pentium had some failsafes, if they tried that with an Athlon it would burn, burn, burn).

Avengerr · 12 months

For me, half the time it's the gif you posted, the other half is this face: O_o

Zeppelanoid · 12 months

Dat monobrow.

7isamagicnumber · 12 months

I've always enjoyed making up conversations in different places for such a reaction.

JoeJoeBillyBob · 12 months

"And I've had this one for three years! "

SniperCatfish · 12 months

"She still has no idea where we buried her cat!"

u8eR · 12 months

dat bert stare

ballzach · 12 months

this is my favorite use of this GIF. thanks, OP

ModernRonin · 12 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbRyo6mji4E

oogleshock123 · 12 months

Next time you eavesdrop: pretend they are talking about their bowel movements. pic

_xyzzy_ · 12 months

That's pretty much I feel when people are talking to me when I'm obviously reading a damn book. Take the hint.

hotasmonkeys · 12 months

Even this one?

danthemango · 12 months

I live in Nanaimo, and every day there's 2-3 people in the back seat talking loudly in a foreign language. I still listen in every time

KiDmesCuDi · 12 months

The things said on my bus are beyond stupid. All I hear is profanity to the point where it doesn't even hold a meaning to it. I'm forced to listen to my ipod...

Planet-man · 12 months

Yes. Yes. YES.

thaduceus · 12 months

Definitely one of the benefits of living in a country where I don't speak the native language. I am going to miss not knowing what people are saying around me.

trcc · 12 months

Or maybe... (relevancy starts at 0:55)

Whizbang · 12 months

Today I realized that Bert has a permanent look of disapproval.

Ebmoclas · 12 months

I just woke up my SO laughing so hard...they didn't find it as funny as I did. I may need a divorce.

adas1023 · 12 months

Yesterday I overheard a guy at the back talking loudly on the verge of shouting on the phone about his marijuana potency. I would expect a little more tact from a dealer but a new contact is a new contact.

[deleted] · 12 months

I LOL'd

fuber · 12 months

I have a feeling we'll see that gif again

homerjsimpson4 · 12 months

me having an *assigned** seat in between two of the most annoying unrelenting freshman girls

[deleted] · 12 months

On a bus, headphones + some sort of media player is your best friend. Trust me.

AyeGee · 12 months

I want to kill myself when my battery hits 0% on the bus.

danroyale · 12 months

You're missing a pool of blood.

Mazzstrike · 12 months

"hey rachel, do you use a vibrator?" pokerface.jpg.

NaXoL · 12 months

Repped.

timeformetofly · 12 months

funny, funny, funny!

CheeseStndsAlone · 12 months

My favorite overheard conversation to date in high school is: "Is she having sex with him? Doesn't she know he has aids" Needless to say I gave that group of friends a wide berth.

twofeetcia · 12 months

Tried to avoid bars this includes a working lunch at a place that has a bar

walterdonnydude · 12 months

I literally laughed out loud for seconds. Thank you

Vogey · 12 months

Same goes for the metro link. There are some crazy fucking people riding the metrolink. This one old lady whom i've never seen in my entire life saw me texting on my cell phone and kept frantically asking why i was calling her. All i could say was "How could i call you? I don't even have your number! I have never seen you in my life!" She was speechless after my response and did nothing but wearily gaze at me the entire train ride.

lotsamozza · 12 months

Teen girl on bus to other teen girl on bus: "Yeah, I used to think he was cute, but then I found out he got his backpack at Walmart.. ew" giggles

RococoRissa · 12 months

That was me today, through my god damned headphones. There I am, minding my own business and reading a book, when one of those alarmingly loud old men gets on the bus. The kind of old man who looks like he's constantly chewing something even when you know he's not? I knew what he said to that poor bus driver without even having to hear it. Some painfully pointless observation like, "Boy, that chill sure nips at ya, dunnit?" or "Tired of driving this route yet? hyuck hyuck".

He hobbled down the aisle, chattering about the wind or something, and picked the seat next to me from the wide array offered to him by the half-empty bus. He sat smack on my leg and I politely jimmied it free. He immediately launched into an unstoppable monologue directed at anyone within eyeshot. Somehow by the magic of being next to him or the power of my props, he never even acknowledged me. The girl one seat down was not as lucky, as she got the full force of his unbridled soliloquy on what I'm sure was a story about a can of beans.

This went on for the entire time I was on the bus. I heard bits and pieces through my music about his life story, how if there's ANY JUSTICE in this world something will happen, and "Hey Mr. Busdriver, didja see me in that there newspaper?! I tol' 'em I was moving those branches, and I did it. I tol' 'em my name and what I was doing and I moved 'em. Didja see it?" I stole sidelong glances at the other passengers to confirm this yes, this was pretty wtf.

A part of me feels really bad, like maybe this guy was just really lonely, mixed with some rural, Depression-era style of banter that doesn't jive with anyone outside the VFW. But seriously, how are you so oblivious to the standard social practice of NOT telling everyone on the bus that you bested Cecil Wilburs in a game of hoop-and-stick?

amiareyou · 12 months

And that was the second time i got crabs.

m1ndcr1me · 12 months

I heard a man on the bus today claim that he invented the cell phone "back in the 80's," but then the Russian and American governments both stole his idea by tracking him with spies. They've been making trillions of dollars ever since off of "his" invention, and he's made nothing.

He also claimed that he developed urban agriculture, but that "an arab" stole that idea.

sammymcjack · 12 months

Please, I am trying to read.

Nightshade1105 · 12 months

Ryan Stiles?

BenCelotil · 12 months

"I've got six kids. I don't seven. I don't want a big family."

Seffer · 12 months

I love having messed up convo's in buses n subways to mess up people's heads.

Hector_Kur · 12 months

I can't ride the bus without an iPod. It plays double duty by silencing bizarre conversations and keeping people from talking to me.

IJIrving · 12 months

The other day I girl was loudly discussing the abortion she was about to have tomorrow and how the father was a pile of shit for not calling her.

She weighed about 300 pounds, was around 5 foot and had a crew cut and kept coughing these flem filled hacks.

ugh

YoucantdothatonTV · 12 months

(Party noise dies down) "so I had the rubber gloves on and thought, 'what the hell', right?" (Needle scratches record, crickets)

BlandUserName · 12 months

Bert.gif never fails to make me laugh. Doesn't matter what the context is.

funny

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