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top 200 commentsshow all 211

[–]RickRussellTX 31 points32 points ago

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I'm going to go with Hugh Glass...

  • Killed a bear, but was badly mauled

  • Was abandoned by his fellow trappers, who stole all his stuff

  • Made a six week trek over 200 miles, mostly crawling, flesh torn to shreds and bones exposed, used maggots to remove dead flesh. Fought off two wolves to gain access to a dead bison calf.

  • Recuperated and hunted down the trappers who abandoned him over the course of years, and recovered his stuff. He chose to spare their lives, but not until giving them the scare of a lifetime.

[–]hoxieX 12 points13 points ago

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more like Hugh G'balls.

[–]gnashville 5 points6 points ago

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i've also heard a version of this story where he stumbles upon a native village and they help him by sewing some kind of hide to his back to protect the open wounds. regardless, that dude is gnarly.

[–]RickRussellTX 8 points9 points ago

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I didn't mention that point, because having animal hide sewed over your open gaping wounds just makes you some kind of animal-human hybrid badass. It's just icing on the badass cake.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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embiggens? i never heard that word before i moved to springfield

[–]Picknipsky 1 point2 points ago

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its a perfectly cromulant word

[–]moonunit92 70 points71 points ago

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[–]Shoola 7 points8 points ago

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thanks for teh lols

[–]onecooldan 183 points184 points ago

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Could you please cover this entire plaque in shadows and take it at a worse angle? I can almost read it.

[–]robeph 14 points15 points ago

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I can read it fine. It isn't perfect, sure, but it's a photo probably taken in passing. I'm glad it was shared. Stop bitching.

[–]joetromboni 26 points27 points ago

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and save it in a jpg

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 24 points25 points ago

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And leak if from your hacked iPhone.

[–]DuexFlam 8 points9 points ago

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And beat it with a stick!

[–]RogerDeanVenture 1 point2 points ago

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save it in a gif and have some freaky shit pop out at us when we are about done reading.

[–]f03nix 12 points13 points ago*

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If this helps anyone - http://i.imgur.com/4uSqt.png.

Edit : Fixed an accidental brush spot (new to Gimp ).

[–]dhaft88 0 points1 point ago

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thank god it's a png

only poor people look at jpg

jpg is an acronym for just poor guys

[–]uhfekt 0 points1 point ago

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png is an acronym for privileged natty gentleman

[–]f1n -4 points-3 points ago

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Nice black dot in the corner.

[–]f03nix 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks, fixed that too.

[–]butthereisafork 3 points4 points ago

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The shadow blocks out the best word: 'upside'

[–]SecularMantis 1 point2 points ago

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I believe it actually says "upon", although I agree it is difficult to read.

[–]wurtis16 1 point2 points ago

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God forbid someone do something for someone else without making a big fucking scene and being a dick. I used to be friends with people like you, not anymore!

[–]onecooldan 1 point2 points ago

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Whiners about whiners are still whiners.

[–]jdbeyers 2 points3 points ago

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Bear Grylls killed the bear and drank its urine. Now thats a real man.

[–]The_HalfBlood_Prince 2 points3 points ago

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Nope! Its just Chuck Testa!

[–]madamimadamimadam 0 points1 point ago

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[–]bobbybusche 52 points53 points ago

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[–]Andaliter 3 points4 points ago

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I'm partial to the eight pairs of testicles title, personally.

[–]ReigninLikeA_MoFo 0 points1 point ago

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[–]tremens 2 points3 points ago

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They're not kidding about the "Less similar images."

[–]zem 2 points3 points ago

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what surprises me is that so many of the posts were to /r/funny. how is this funny anyway?

[–]runswithcoyotes 3 points4 points ago

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---1 | -----3 | -2232 | 496 | -----1 | ---128 | -----0 | -----1 | 543

pics | reddit | funny | pics | reddit | reddit | funny | funny | funny

::reddit, you random.

[–]Thorbinator 0 points1 point ago

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New to me! You probably need to get your priorities straight if this actually bothers you.

[–]Laugarhraun -1 points0 points ago

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Repostest repost in the reddit...

[–]MercenaryBlue 2 points3 points ago

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First time I've seen it.

[–]raffytraffy 3 points4 points ago

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holy. fuck.

[–]Fridaay13 9 points10 points ago

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It is known.

[–]gloveraran 5 points6 points ago

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I'd follow in his khalasar.

[–]Fridaay13 12 points13 points ago

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I have a suspicion that men like this were bred north of the wall.

[–]diuvic 3 points4 points ago

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I love you reddit.

[–]Fridaay13 1 point2 points ago

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Send your thanks and love to the old gods. The Seven is a bunch of shit the Andals made up.

[–]branman6875 0 points1 point ago

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Screw your old gods. We all know that R'hllor is the one true God.

[–]Fridaay13 0 points1 point ago

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I bet R'hllor is one of the 'old gods'. I also bet that they aren't gods at all. There was a time of magic that once was and now spoiler--- you'll know what I'm talking about if you read the books.]

I wonder if it all legitimately is just magic. Being that used to be that live on somehow connected to the world through their magic.

[–]moralnihilist 0 points1 point ago

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I worship this God, R'hllor, you've probably never heard of him.

/hipster cultist

[–]Lampshader 3 points4 points ago

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I wish I could kill a bear "without" weapons.

[–]Shitler 2 points3 points ago

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YES QUOTES ARE NOT FOR EMPHASIS AAAAAH AAAH AAAH AAAH

[–]tertiumdatur 1 point2 points ago

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The writer of the plaquet was unsure whether Mr. Petersen's false teeth count as weaponry or not.

[–]TehNubcheeks -1 points0 points ago

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This has been one of my lifelong dreams. I don't know why, but as long as I can remember, I've wanted to fight and kill a bear weaponless.

[–]Lampshader 0 points1 point ago

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Sure, "weaponless".

[–]mobydick1990 8 points9 points ago

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In the first paragraph, why is the word without in quotation marks? I'm sure it doesn't matter much, but it's made me very curious.

[–]CaptainConfidential 4 points5 points ago

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More than likely the person who made this sign didn't know the proper way to emphasize a word.

[–]brundlefly 2 points3 points ago

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I used to have a boss at a coffee shop who did that with signage all the time. One day he asked me to post a new item on the menu.

To this day, five years later, that coffee shop offers Fresh "Squeezed" Orange Juice.

[–]sidoaight 2 points3 points ago

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I will not drink that stuff. I will not.

[–]Blacula 1 point2 points ago

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Oh hi mark

[–]datn 3 points4 points ago

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[–]zombiecombat 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for this.

[–]Nodonn226 3 points4 points ago

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Maybe they are saying sticks might be modern weapons?

[–]Cayou 2 points3 points ago

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Quotation marks are sometimes used for emphasis, and this is usually considered incorrect. I think I read somewhere that this use of quotation marks was more common and accepted a number of decades ago, but can't find a source.

[–]I_Am_Indifferent 0 points1 point ago

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I fucking hate it when people do this. In this case the word didn't even need emphasis in the first place.

[–]ZaneMasterX 2 points3 points ago

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And everyone thought Wyoming was boring. You wont see shit like that in California.

[–]JesteroftheApocalyps 3 points4 points ago

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I always found Wyoming really exciting . . . right after I drove the length of Nebraska!

[–]itssheramie 1 point2 points ago

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East Wyoming = death. West (esp. NW) Wyoming = awesome

[–]Keyahnee 0 points1 point ago

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AWWWW YEEEE Jackson Hole native here

[–]ZaneMasterX 0 points1 point ago

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Nebraska is a terrible terrible place. Corn and flatness is all youll find there. The only good part about Nebraska is that in Sydney they have the Cabela's world headquarters.

[–]Purple_Haze 2 points3 points ago

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Up there with the one-armed Belgian man who killed a leopard.

I have his biography, but it's three time zones away so I can't look up his name.

The losing the arm story is good too. He was dynamiting fish because he was trying to single-handely feed an entire african tribe during a famine. Misfire blows his arm off and dumps him in a crocodile infested lake. Fights his way to shore. Drives for twelve hours through the night to get to the nearest hospital (two countries away).

[–]tertiumdatur 0 points1 point ago

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I see what you did there

[–]anmd 0 points1 point ago

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If you manage to recall his name, could you please PM me?

Cheers!

[–]Purple_Haze 1 point2 points ago

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A little Google-fu and I got it: Jean-Pierre Hallet.

His obit.: http://pygmyfund.org/eulogy.html

[–]anmd 0 points1 point ago

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Excellent work; thanks!

[–]greym84 5 points6 points ago

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This a repost. Still upvote for awesome manly inspiration.

[–]rjbman 2 points3 points ago

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Wasn't it posted like within the past week?

[–]zburdsal 0 points1 point ago

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6 days, to be exact.

[–]rjbman 0 points1 point ago

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Thought so. Maybe I aught to repost it.

[–]Oztronaut 4 points5 points ago*

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R.I.P Mr Grizzly. You know not what you did. Aggravated by those damn backpackers. They probably threw rocks at you or made a crude urine bomb to soak you with. You finally got away from those jerks and then Dale comes along. You probably thought Mr Peterson was coming back to hassle you some more. So what did you do? The same thing any bear would do. You got GRIZZLY. But that fucker choked you out & then beat your defensless, motionless bear face in with a fucking stick till you died. Do you know how many times a bear needs to be hit in the face with a stick before it dies? Of course you do. I'm sorry Mr Grizzly. You deserved better.

[–]TheRealYM 1 point2 points ago

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So you're saying he killed it with his bear hands?

[–]aarghj 1 point2 points ago

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not that it's not badass and all but, man, didn't I see this on digg like 5 years ago?

[–]lordspesh 1 point2 points ago

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WTF there are people from DIGG on REDDIT?

[–]Dustinm16 1 point2 points ago

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His name bears an Uncanny resemblance to Saxton Hale...

[–]Fuzzymuscles 1 point2 points ago

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Hey guys! Remember when this was on the front page like 3 weeks ago? Good times...

[–]FlapjackOmalley 1 point2 points ago

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Why the fuck do they put "without" in quotation marks?

[–]Augnbanana 2 points3 points ago

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Jackson hole <3

[–]T-100 0 points1 point ago

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Cowboy Bar <3

[–]ShadySkins 2 points3 points ago

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This is False. Here is the Proof (NSFW). The bear couldn't possibly reach beyond this man's enormous testicles.

[–]PlumberODeth 10 points11 points ago

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How is it that this man has such large testicles but no penis?

[–]feureau 5 points6 points ago

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Irony. Karmic payment for past transgression.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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His penis retracted into his balls and is now continuously pumping semen back into his balls to create an exponential amount of semen. His ball size is the result of years of re insertion of semen. I believe he is to set a record for the longest facial shot ever recorded.

[–]Blacula 0 points1 point ago

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I think I saw that one...

[–]im_lost_at_sea 3 points4 points ago

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Buffalo Soldja

[–]ShadySkins 0 points1 point ago

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dreadlock rasta

[–]chosenignorance 2 points3 points ago

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...but where did his penis go?

[–]lagunka 2 points3 points ago

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THEN WHO WAS PENIS??

[–]montyy123 1 point2 points ago

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Good ol' lymphedema.

[–]joetromboni -5 points-4 points ago

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[–]delandros 2 points3 points ago

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If only it was caught on TV....bear grylls would no longer have a job

[–]MrLeaf 2 points3 points ago

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Kills bear

Better drink its piss

[–]JesteroftheApocalyps 1 point2 points ago

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And chase it with my own piss

[–]Chia909 -1 points0 points ago

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Kill Bear Better drink his piss.

[–]Fridaay13 4 points5 points ago

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BHIS guy...

[–]MrLeaf 0 points1 point ago

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I was referring to an actual bear.

[–]bigf00ty 0 points1 point ago

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nice

[–]redderit 0 points1 point ago

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Not sure if it's the same story, but read about a man KO'ing a grizzly in this issue http://mellorenterprises.ecrater.com/p/3222101/outdoor-life-magazine-october-2005-how-to

[–]venustas 0 points1 point ago

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I've haven't searched for the article, but I've been told by my boyfriend's family that his uncle was mauled by a bear, killed it, and survived. They said Nat Geo did a story on him story on him, but I'm not sure how accurate that claim is. All I know is that I've eaten with his family, seen his ridiculous scars, and heard the story several times. We're also from Wyoming, about a few hours from where this plaque is.

[–]vintermann 0 points1 point ago

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We have this idea that our basic shape and build isn't as suited for fighting as all these toothy-clawy lower mammals, but then you haven't heard about the kind of stuff we great apes can do to our prey/victims with those opposable thumbs of ours. Oh, and we have ridiculous jaw pressure.

[–]jaykayel 0 points1 point ago

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I regret that I have but one upvote to give in honor of this exemplification of manliness

[–]warboy 0 points1 point ago

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Wait, there's another guy who killed a bear with no weapons?

[–]zelmerszoetrop 1 point2 points ago

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I kind of want to get these two guys in a ring together.

[–]warboy 0 points1 point ago

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We may implode the universe though.

[–]DazednEnthused 0 points1 point ago

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I'd go into debt trying to buy this guy enough beers.

[–]Iwantapetmonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Pardon me, but he did not kill it with his hands - he performed the Vulcan death grip with his mouth and then beat the unconscious bear with a stick - shit, I could do that

[–]mishna 0 points1 point ago

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I think they meant the carotid artery in that description.

But either way, he told you he was hardcore.

[–]Gorillakid 0 points1 point ago

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TLDR

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Originally from JH - I returned recently, visited the Cowboy Bar for the first time (old enough now), got drunk, saw this sign, and debated an old man with a giant beard over what exactly constitutes "modern weaponry." He took the position that his fists were modern weaponry and kept offering to prove it by kicking all of our modern asses.

[–]stupid_name 0 points1 point ago

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Where is this in JH? I'll try to get a better pic. Of the bear too.

[–]Eugenides 0 points1 point ago

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This doesn't make sense to me. The jugular is a VEIN, that means it carries blood AWAY from the brain, not to it. Cutting it of wouldn't cause a lack of blood flow to the brain. Also, you can have one jugular removed and still have enough blood flow. There are two for a reason...

[–]benmandude 0 points1 point ago

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How exactly do you find a bear's jugular?

[–]big_jannie 0 points1 point ago

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pretty easily, I would imagine. They're large and you can feel them collapse when you palpate them. Not that pinching it would do you a damn bit of good in making it pass out.

[–]jamespetersen 0 points1 point ago

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We could be related. My Dad's middle name is Dale...Don't know why...

[–]oneironaut52 0 points1 point ago

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Saw the plaque where that took place while hiking with a mountain rescue team. It said the same thing but for some reason I always thought it read that he used a rock to smash the bears head once put to sleep.

[–]snakeymoonbeam 0 points1 point ago

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Beating a poor sleeping bear to death with a stick. :-)

[–]phillycheese 0 points1 point ago

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So, since he killed the bear "without" weaponry, he actually killed the bear with some sort of weaponry?

[–]iantheaardvark 0 points1 point ago

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It's cool until he beats an unconscious bear to death with a stick for no apparent reason.

[–]always_concludes 0 points1 point ago

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who's the other one?

[–]thebeardsman 0 points1 point ago

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SAXTON HALE, EAT YOUR HEART OUT.

[–]thesnowflake 0 points1 point ago

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If the bear is bleeding out the jugular and passed out, why continue hitting it over the head with a stick?

[–]ngony 1 point2 points ago

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You want to take any kind of risk that a bear you've just bitten might wake up?

[–]gdowne -1 points0 points ago

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I agree with thesnowflake. Let sleeping dogs lie. True, this is a bear, not a dog. But I say, once it's unconscious, that should buy you enough time to run for the fucking hills.

[–]tubcat 0 points1 point ago

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There is no such thing as overkill when all you bring to a bear fight is your teeth and bare hands.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Pics or it didn't happen.

[–]Zoon187 0 points1 point ago

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Why is without placed in between "brackets" (or how you call these things in proper English?)

[–]orkid68 0 points1 point ago

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[then what do you call these]

[–]mcmaisy 0 points1 point ago

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I'm assuming for legal reasons they had to changed "Ron Swanson" to the this Mr. Peterson fellow...

[–]Ihatemimes 0 points1 point ago

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"This hat was made of bear hands. That bear was killed with bare hands."

[–]Marckoz 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder how Mr Peterson sits down with balls that big.

[–]orkid68 0 points1 point ago

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The word "stick." I was going to say "what the fuck, there's no word for a piece of wood bigger than a stick and smaller than a log"? It made me picture him hitting the bear with a fallen piece of wood the size of a pencil. But then I realized, there's already a word for that: that's a twig. And "stick" is just vague. No longer. From now on, a stick is the size of a baseball bat. I am the enforcer.

[–]LLFoolJ 0 points1 point ago

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Jebediah Springfield?

[–]CurryboiiNZ 0 points1 point ago

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Its 'bear' grylls father. Named his son after this amazing incident

[–]pipechang 0 points1 point ago

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TIL there is such a thing as a Game Biologist

[–]OoogaOoogaYoink 0 points1 point ago

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Someone remind me why we have Chuck Norris memes when we could have memes about real life badasses like Dale Peterson.

[–]Kellogs53 0 points1 point ago

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Your move Chuck Norris.

[–]Ceadol 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think we're allowed to use the term "Like a Boss " anymore unless it's to reference this guy.

[–]f1n 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else try to line up the small dots of light with the letters to find a hidden message?

[–]yermah1986 0 points1 point ago

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very interesting "find"

[–]gimbo245 0 points1 point ago

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Of course he has a Scandinavian name.

[–]KITTOx 0 points1 point ago

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Lies.

I nominate James May.

[–]whitmell 0 points1 point ago

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I DON'T ALWAYS KILL BEARS

BUT WHEN I DO IT'S WITH MY TEETH

[–]Lundra9 0 points1 point ago

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Checkmate.

[–]kpanzer 0 points1 point ago

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Well damn that's just... damn.

[–]eppaappe 0 points1 point ago

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To be portrayed in the upcoming film, Revenant, starring Christain Bale!

[–]JackTrueborn 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Phasta 0 points1 point ago

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Kill a bear... like a boss.

[–]BrockRockswell 0 points1 point ago

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Ahh, the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar in JH/WY. To be fair, the bear was only about 5'9 standing on both feet. Still, he killed it by biting out the bears neck. I bet telling that story was a bit of a mouthful.

[–]dorvaan 0 points1 point ago

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I dunno why he didn't just call his mom to let her know that the bear was eating him. Seems more logical.

[–]Asakari 0 points1 point ago

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Brock Sampson?

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Blast Hardcheese

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Buff Drinklots

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Butch Deadlift

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Thick McRunfast

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Bulk Van Der Huge

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

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Punch Speedjump

[–]heathengray 0 points1 point ago

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Theodore Roosevelt was referee.

[–]shenanigan 0 points1 point ago

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Bear Gryllis eat your heart out

[–]rowbeartoe 0 points1 point ago

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Oh that Kevin Butler. He is so modest to let this schmuck take credit for the kill.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit. That's almost like a Greek myth.

[–]ajr901 0 points1 point ago

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Tl;DR = "Guy whooped bear's ass. Killed it by biting the bear's jugular. It bled out, he won."

[–]lagunka 3 points4 points ago

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Not quite. He bit the bear's jugular until it passed out, and then beat it to death with a stick.

[–]ajr901 0 points1 point ago

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I stand corrected.

[–]sidoaight 0 points1 point ago

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I bet you were actually sitting down.

[–]ajr901 1 point2 points ago

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Dammit, stop doing that!

[–]platipress 0 points1 point ago

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Hey, I was just in Jackson Hole. I didn't see this though. :/

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JUMANJIIIII[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Man fights bears with bare hands, kills bears with teeth. Man is bad ass.

[–]fastfourier 0 points1 point ago

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TL;CR

[–]ItsWhatsForDinner -1 points0 points ago

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Cabela's?

[–]Tier4 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]FalconTheory 0 points1 point ago

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No. This guy killed a fucking grizzly with bare hands.

[–]xconinc -1 points0 points ago

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That sure is manly....Chuck Norris would have used one round house kick! lol

[–]bandicoot14 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]t0wn -1 points0 points ago

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Jesus, again?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Repostiest repost

it's only been a fucking week.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TheBlueFrog 2 points3 points ago

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That's kind of like arguing that the pedestrian you hit with your car died from breaking their head open on the ground, not from your car hitting them.