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all 32 comments

[–]the_sun_god 25 points26 points ago

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Isn't the kid using the right word to describe the biker?

[–]dlbpc 8 points9 points ago

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I guess he'll just have to send some bears.

[–]He_cant_be_serious 7 points8 points ago

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well it doesn't really does it

[–]HarryMcDowell[!] 2 points3 points ago

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I was thinking the same thing.

[–]catch10110 5 points6 points ago

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That Jesus. Such an instigator.

[–]jr2 3 points4 points ago

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I must be missing the point. How does this say anything at all about Bible ethics vs. modern day ethics?

[–]jr2 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, just got the bear references above. If that's what this is about, you might need to explain the joke a little more for people.

[–]bardfaust 1 point2 points ago

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The Bible encourages violence throughout. Most parents these days wouldn't, say, kill their child if he/she disobeyed them.

Jesus is something of a scapegoat here, or at least is symbolizing Christianity. Though, he did "come not to bring peace, but a sword."

[–]a_raconteur 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, I think that's exactly what this is referring to.

[–]kdawghomie[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I saw it as a bear reference. New thought: this is probably reading into it WAY too much, buuuuuut... Jesus calls him a "faggot"; so, under the implication that the man is gay, he would maybe be classified as a "bear" (chubby, hairy, middle-aged gay man); Jesus is "summoning" the man (a bear) to kill a child, the reason being that the child made fun of the man. But I'm pretty sure that level of analysis is grasping at straws, lol

[–]poopyfinger 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, that sums it up perfectly, faggot.

[–]kdawghomie[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus Christ dude, calm down. I'm only like 6 years old.

[–]dblthnk 3 points4 points ago

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To be fair, the biker is kind of bear-like. So...I'm seeing some continuity here.

[–]kmofosho 1 point2 points ago

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send two wild bears at him

[–]GaryGeneric 1 point2 points ago

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This is the appropriate response given the offender's age bracket.

[–]thebugjim 1 point2 points ago

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jesus didn't say SHIT about gays, that's just christians

[–]IncredibleBenefits 3 points4 points ago

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I laughed out loud. Thank you sir.

[–]la508 8 points9 points ago

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Loads more of them right here.

[–]WanderingStoner 1 point2 points ago

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I get way too much enjoyment out of these bad advice jesus cartoons.

[–]kdawghomie[S] -1 points0 points ago

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You are most welcome.

[–]Monstermash042 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you South Park for repurposing the word. Now if I only had the balls to say it

[–]ImaSociopath 0 points1 point ago

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Why don't you create a rapture?

[–]Earf72 0 points1 point ago

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These are always well drawn.

[–]draxus99 0 points1 point ago

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best one I've these I've seen yet, LOL

[–]TCal72 0 points1 point ago

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The Son of God demands retribution. How dare he call you a faggot? You must ride on your metal steed with the strength of a thousand eagles and strike with the viciousness of a possessed zebra. - The Lost Book, Chapter 4, verse 8

[–]zeggman 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think Jesus had anything to do with the bear story; he was all about forgiving "seventy times seven" times.

The cartoon is still funny, though.

[–]AngryRepublican 0 points1 point ago

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"Fine! I'll get some bears to fuck them up instead!"

[–]AngryRepublican 0 points1 point ago

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"Fine! I'll get some bears to fuck them up instead!"

[–]stormraper 0 points1 point ago

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the bible doesn't so much encourage it as it does tell a bunch of stories about humanity, an inherently violent species.

One, if you read the verse, those kids were asses. Ever dealt with kids who are asses? Yeah.

Two, those bears killed 42 of them before they had the sense to run away. What the hell? I would've sprinted before the first one hit the ground.

anyway, that's my take on that story.

[–]kdawghomie[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Can't tell if troll.

  1. Yes, I have. Note that I didn't murder them all.

  2. The kids probably didn't run away because the bears weren't real. And neither were the kids. And neither were most of the stories in the Bible.

[–]RedCoatsForever 0 points1 point ago

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The story is immoral. Babies were eaten by Bears while there are hungry atheists throughout the world.

[–]stormraper 1 point2 points ago

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DELICIOUS CHILDREN