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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 146 comments

[–]GiggleBunny 62 points63 points ago

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HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THAT THING!?

[–]nasi_lemak[S] 76 points77 points ago

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....you dont....

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 40 points41 points ago

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[–]RedditorFor5Minutes 12 points13 points ago

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I want that job.

[–]VisforValletta 6 points7 points ago

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[–]RollOverBeethoven 3 points4 points ago

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What the fuck.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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There's only one way out, and it ain't pretty.

[–]tarsus1983 0 points1 point ago

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Eat her out?

[–]Wthtcat 14 points15 points ago

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How to avoid a shark attack: Swim with fat people and listen carefully for the music.

[–]StormtrooperDan 4 points5 points ago

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I would think sharks would go for the smaller prey for the easier kill.

[–]Koshatnik 2 points3 points ago

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fat children are clearly the best option to swim with

[–]Paustinj 0 points1 point ago

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Better way to avoid a shark attack: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER

[–]54321_fap 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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dammit! the link is broken! a mirror please, sir. for science.

[–]FOR_SClENCE 1 point2 points ago

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Even with your gracious amounts of respect, I refuse to find a mirror to something from the 4chan archives.

[–]sinistarjab 0 points1 point ago

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This woman is was wearing a bra... ಠ_ಠ

[–]54321_fap 0 points1 point ago

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So she is. Amazing how tits make you miss what's going on around them.

[–]MediumPace 19 points20 points ago

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That second picture is priceless. I wonder if she's able to breath while the shark's eating her. Out
of curiosity, could this thing function as a real sleeping bag? Imagine coming inside a sharks mouth
after a long day of camping. The only problem I see is that the shark might be difficult to get off
of you once you wake up, because it's so damn top heavy.

[–]thirdeyevision 10 points11 points ago

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Something about sexual innuendos make me wanna fuck

[–]terrortoad 5 points6 points ago

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It's breathable inside, about the same as climbing into a sleeping bag and sealing the top. You'll want air eventually, but it's not suffocating at all.

[–]Morbo_Mad 12 points13 points ago

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shark's eating her. Out

Imagine coming inside a sharks mouth

the shark might be difficult to get off

Did you choose to ignore his awesome 3rd grade level joke and answer? If so I like your style.

[–]crod242 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe he's just in second grade and had no idea.

[–]TheAthiestOfAtheists 0 points1 point ago

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Okay I'm glad I wasn't the only one that saw those.

[–]karmapillar 4 points5 points ago

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It looks like a claustrophobia attack waiting to happen. dun dun...

[–]eyecite 2 points3 points ago

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yeah, my palms started sweating after a few seconds of looking at the second picture

[–]terrortoad 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah...and it kinda is. I get claustrophobia/panic in tight spaces, and getting into this guy head first did trigger it...but it was breathable enough that I didn't panic so much that I couldn't just back out of it.

[–]thedumbdown 1 point2 points ago

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shark's eating her. Out

I see what you did there.

[–]blahbot90 -1 points0 points ago

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Imagine coming inside a sharks mouth.

[–]rhernan9 33 points34 points ago

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I hate it when redditors post cool shit I want and don't include a link as to where to throw my money away. Link please :)

[–]n2speed125 56 points57 points ago

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[–]puffknuckle 73 points74 points ago

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Whoa... 300 bucks

I'm going to need a bigger wallet

[–]UltraMap 21 points22 points ago

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Need more skulltulas!

[–]geehoffer 6 points7 points ago

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Better get to killin' them gold spiders.

[–]LunchMasterFlex 3 points4 points ago

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Man goes on to reddit, reddit goes on patchtogether.com. There's sharks on patchtogether.com. Stuffed sharks.

[–]clitler 10 points11 points ago

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It's cheaper on Amazon!

[–]Wagonwheeling 7 points8 points ago

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Make one out of a keyboard

[–]LegendOrDie 1 point2 points ago

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I'm going to need a bigger shark

[–]FreeDirt -4 points-3 points ago

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And a bigger boat!

[–]rhernan9 24 points25 points ago

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SHIT. I think it's cheaper to just catch a shark and stuff it.

[–]fanboat 10 points11 points ago

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These teeth are razor sharp, but boy is this economical!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Smells kinda bad though.

I was going to make a pun about the plan smelling fishy, but I like to think I'm better than that.

[–]utnow 5 points6 points ago

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The "Chum Guzzler!"

"Oooh... I am just now getting that!" </russian accent>

[–]anexanhume 1 point2 points ago

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But it's a Halloween costume AND a sleeping bag. That kind of multipurpose shark fittery doesn't grow on trees dammit!

[–]nasi_lemak[S] 3 points4 points ago

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well thanks, reddit. i just saw the picture randomly and didn't actually know where to get it. great success!

[–]popepeterjames 6 points7 points ago

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If $300 is too steep for you - try the body pillow!

[–]Hyperian 1 point2 points ago

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i'll buy it if she can swallow me like that!

[–]altsymph 0 points1 point ago

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Or they could switch to machine sewing. Seriously, who would hand-sew such a beast?

[–]powerdeamon 1 point2 points ago

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r/shutupandtakemymoney

Just go here, I'm sure you'll find more :)

[–]Vintagejosh 7 points8 points ago

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Knock knock. Candy Gram.

[–]wtf_ever 1 point2 points ago

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Who?

[–]Vintagejosh 2 points3 points ago

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Uhh... Pizza guy.

[–]kavuday 2 points3 points ago

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I didn't order any pizza.

[–]Vintagejosh 2 points3 points ago

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Uhh... Mailman.

[–]Osiris32 2 points3 points ago

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Package delivery.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses -4 points-3 points ago

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Orange you glad I didn't say banana.

[–]slyphox 1 point2 points ago

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Someone doesn't get the reference.

[–]groingrippler 5 points6 points ago

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JAWESOME!

[–]geniussteve 5 points6 points ago

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Wish the tail didn't look retarded.

[–]iaDRM 1 point2 points ago

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Like this?

http://i.imgur.com/86z0J.png

Yeah I agree. They should make the tail one piece and then add a slit in the tail-end of the body to attach the tail to.

[–]happyCuddleTime 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, they look like an earwig's pincers.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TheTinKris 4 points5 points ago

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She and I were in the same HS graduating class. Weird.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 9 points10 points ago

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I saw a picture of her on the internet with a shark once.

[–]quantumpsych -4 points-3 points ago

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yeah, thought so. i have a sixth sense for that sort of thing, kinda have to.

[–]reacher 3 points4 points ago

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It wants you inside it.

[–]stevenfrijoles 15 points16 points ago

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Ok, you get the shark. I call the girl, though.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 13 points14 points ago

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She's like 12.

[–]stevenfrijoles 41 points42 points ago

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Then so am I.

[–]Zeppelanoid 4 points5 points ago

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Smooth save.

[–]Sir_Meowsalot 0 points1 point ago

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Niiiiiiiiice.

[–]tashedmesticles 0 points1 point ago

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Why don't you take a seat over there?

[–]stevenfrijoles 0 points1 point ago

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But she told me she was a great white, I swear!

[–]bermyduck 10 points11 points ago

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Thats over 18 in shark years!

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 8 points9 points ago

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"That's over 18 in shark years your honor!" FTFY.

[–]double1 3 points4 points ago

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50k comment karma in 27 days? Are you a robot?

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 1 point2 points ago

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Does not compute.

[–]double1 1 point2 points ago

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Watson, Is that you?

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Spatulamarama 2 points3 points ago

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Look at her hands and her ass, she's not 12.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 0 points1 point ago

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Masturbate away.

[–]GiggleBunny -1 points0 points ago

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If only I was the shark...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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My dog would lose him mind if he saw me in this......I am accepting donations for those of you who want to help me fuck with my dog.*

*i said WITH my dog, for those of you who read this fast and wrong.

[–]betterredthendead 2 points3 points ago

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I just chummed in his mouth.

[–]DrewPeacox 2 points3 points ago

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Repost. Well done

[–]redditor3000 4 points5 points ago

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I've been looking for a new fleshlight actually.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I hope this is real and I want to give whoever makes it all my money.

[–]puffknuckle 1 point2 points ago

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So..... sharks can deep throat people?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'd never leave. Fuck the ability to see.

[–]petarpmpkneatar 1 point2 points ago

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I would pay to see her, or someone, run around with that shark eating them. kinda like this

[–]petarpmpkneatar 0 points1 point ago

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Give it a few seconds I didn't get the link at the proper time, my apologies.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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thisiswhyimbroke.com

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Waiting patiently on the use of this in porn.

[–]The-Dudemeister 3 points4 points ago

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Finally. A fleshlight that I can use.

[–]mul4mbo 3 points4 points ago

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SUCK MY DIIIIIIIIICK!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Sigh Fiiiine. Let's get this over with.

[–]Japandrewm 0 points1 point ago

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Think she can get out?

[–]Raawnesh 0 points1 point ago

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would be cool if you could stick your head out of the bum hole, but probably wouldn't help its marketability. Maybe if it was made in Japan...

[–]SicilianEsq 0 points1 point ago

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Would love this for 1/3rd of the price.

[–]crookedsoul09 0 points1 point ago

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it. wants. you. too.

[–]Sheldy13 0 points1 point ago

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Even a shark doesn't want to eat skinny jeans.

[–]terrortoad 0 points1 point ago

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I have one, and I can safely say it was worth every penny. It's soooo warm and nice <3

[–]disposablechild 0 points1 point ago

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Are you supposed to run around blindly after you put it on?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'm getting claustrophobic just thinking about it.

[–]Hormander 0 points1 point ago

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How many smothered kids will we have with this...

[–]LaszloB 0 points1 point ago

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Now THAT's deepthroat.

[–]Gouken 0 points1 point ago

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If a bunch of guys got together, and saw one of us with this shark over our heads, we would have so much fun..

[–]Permagrin 0 points1 point ago

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[–]amberruehls 0 points1 point ago

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Party City used to make a shark costume, mouth at the top, giving the illusion you were being eaten. HILAAAARious.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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SHUT UP AND TAKE MY GODDAMN MONEY!

[–]Jamers99 0 points1 point ago

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funny story.. some kids in my high school had one of these.. they brought it out on to our local fishing lake and was trolling in their boat pulling it by a sting behind.. it ended up filling up with so much water that they couldnt pull it out so they left it in the middle of the lake.. the next day some lady saw the thing out in the middle and thought it was a canoe that tipped over.. ended up calling in the dive team, and everything to go rescue this "person".. ended up pulling shark out... LULZ.. they made the news!

[–]oxygn 0 points1 point ago

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can't. breathe.

[–]jillianem 0 points1 point ago

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[–]NoodleKaboodle 0 points1 point ago

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Here's a website where you can buy it, it's $300 though.

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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Me too

[–]stevo746 0 points1 point ago

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I would really like to see feet first.

[–]polarbeargarden 0 points1 point ago

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This thing has been on the front page like 8 fucking times! ಠ_ಠ

[–]jaydeekay 0 points1 point ago

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thisiswhyimbroke.com has this item for sale, among a lot of other cool things.

(The shark is like 1/3rd of the way down the page but there are lots of other things worth browsing :)

[–]Sharkbyt3 0 points1 point ago

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Hello, I have one, it's too fucking big and moving it is a pain in the ass. but it makes a great couch. So fucking comfy. It gets REALLY hot inside the thing even in winter and making sure the inner lining stays put is a hassle. All in all, it's not the best for what it was supposed to do, but it's a damn good couch. That is all.

[–]AnImpertinentRequest 0 points1 point ago

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Could you maybe send a letter to the FBI explaining that I don't own a red sequoia?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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HOW MUCH FOR THE GIRL HURDURHURDUR

[–]knestleknox 0 points1 point ago

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I can imagine all of the lawsuits about how someone's retarded son decided to sleep in one and suffocated.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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costs $250. fuck that

[–]quadzilla4 0 points1 point ago

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to hell with the shark gimmie the redhead

[–]koalaokala 0 points1 point ago

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I want that girl.

[–]jgonza44 0 points1 point ago

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I want to be that shark.

[–]Ghenges 0 points1 point ago

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I got a little claustrophobic looking at the second pic. :(

[–]wtfno 0 points1 point ago

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Those back fins look weird in a wrong way. More like claws.

[–]malek24 0 points1 point ago

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Instant claustrophobic freakout

[–]conanarama 0 points1 point ago

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I immediately posted this on Facebook in hopes that I receive one for Christmas.

[–]jim258kelly 0 points1 point ago

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How do I know you're a furry?

I want the girl.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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  • Girl mode: I want this shark
  • Shark mode: I want this girl
  • Guy mode: fapfapfapfapfap

[–]kabukistar 0 points1 point ago

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$300‽ I could make one of those for like $30...

[–]canyousaysanity 0 points1 point ago

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feel free to make me one and i'll pay a whole $60!

[–]Noctox -1 points0 points ago

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Stop. It. With. The. Fucking. Periods.

[–]spazberryjam -1 points0 points ago

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The shark doesn't have to eat you head first! I would totally sleep in it, with my head out! In fact... as soon as I get a job this is the first thing I'm buying with my first paycheck.

[–]Not_A_Slave -1 points0 points ago

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I'd like to rail a chick in that thing. Could ya call it oral sex?

[–]quantumpsych -1 points0 points ago

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i'll have what he's having.

[–]Frankie4skins -1 points0 points ago

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Fine. I'll take who's wearing it.

[–]itsbraille -1 points0 points ago

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Only on reddit would people look at that picture and want the shark...

[–]i_misspell_evrything -2 points-1 points ago

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N Soveit Rusha, Sharck. Want. Yu.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 2 points3 points ago

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Everything misspells you.

[–]smardalek 0 points1 point ago

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You spelled 'want' right! I want my money back.

[–]lisabadcat -2 points-1 points ago

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You take the shark, I'll take the redhead.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]xwonka 3 points4 points ago

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You'll have nothing and like it.