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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 176 comments

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ghosttwo 37 points38 points ago*

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Then the police shoot it, claiming it was resisting arrest; this kills the crab.

[–]jlakanen 18 points19 points ago

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Then the police give you a beat down for photographing them.

[–]SpermWhale 5 points6 points ago

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Then you will see that the big news companies doesn't give a shit.

[–]JoeRW 1 point2 points ago

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She asks me to stop riding on the grass, but then the clothes just fall off her and I see everything. Then I'm gone, on the grass.

[–]bondyota90 14 points15 points ago

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Crawfish, not a crab

[–]gnovos 4 points5 points ago

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Meme is a meme

[–]HiaItsPeter 1 point2 points ago

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Crawdad, not a Crawfish. Does that thing look like it has gills?

[–]munificent 1 point2 points ago

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It does have gills. I don't see any children, though.

[–]shitterplug 6 points7 points ago

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It's not a crab.

[–]Ghosttwo 15 points16 points ago

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I know :)

 _      _
(<      >)
 `O,99,O`
//-\__/-\\

[–]MeGrimlock4 4 points5 points ago

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I pinch

[–]jstarlee 2 points3 points ago

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Just sprinkle some crab on him and get out of here.

[–]kiaha 14 points15 points ago

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I heard him going "WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB"

[–]hal9005 3 points4 points ago

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Zoidberg is going for a scuttle!

[–]HiaItsPeter 0 points1 point ago

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Its not a fucking crab! Thank you.

[–]bingybingy 11 points12 points ago*

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I've had a similar creature tell me to come at him so I obliged ... and then I ran away

[–]SteakbackOuthouse 1 point2 points ago

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similarly, I was sized up at a recent boil by a rouge escapee.

[–]bingybingy 0 points1 point ago

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Pretty sure they're plotting to take over the human race. I've got the guns, you bring the ammo.

[–]N0V0w3ls 3 points4 points ago

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Great, now this will be reposted with the title "Fuck da police!" in a week...

[–]SchizophrenicSinner 2 points3 points ago

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Great, now this will be reposted with the title "Fuck da police!" in a <s>week...</s> <b>DAY<b>

FTFY

Edit: You know what? FUCK FORMATTING

[–]lathermeupgood 2 points3 points ago

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Fooking prawns.

[–]trua 0 points1 point ago

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How can you tell it's a he? :o

[–]fuzzywazzy 26 points27 points ago

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I saw this and immediately thought of the Prodigy Album "Fat of the Land"...

[–]spoulson 1 point2 points ago

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Smack my bitch up... weer weer weer

[–]gm7cadd9 0 points1 point ago

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Command F: Prodigy. Found... have an upboat on me.

[–]sparkydoomscat 77 points78 points ago

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Lobster, guy in a suit, cop. What is going on here?

[–]I_RAPE_PENGUINS 81 points82 points ago

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It's a crawdad not a lobster....

[–]VikingTy 36 points37 points ago

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Oh, well that answers everything.

[–]Forgototherpassword 18 points19 points ago

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[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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You ruined my day.

[–]Kgbeast1 8 points9 points ago

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Well you ruined someone anus

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Don't judge me.

[–]Aszuul 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think they know what industrial means...

[–]soundofvictory 2 points3 points ago

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I think you meant clawshrimp.

[–]Honda_TypeR -1 points0 points ago

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Crayfish... crawdad is a nickname given to them in the south.

Next you will be telling us to slurp the heads!

[–]Geofferic 4 points5 points ago

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As a fella from Louisiana, it's crawfish.

[–]skriker -1 points0 points ago

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I grew up in California, we always called em crawdad. I never heard crayfish til I visited the south.

[–]HiaItsPeter 0 points1 point ago

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But does that thing look like a fish?

[–]cadencehz 0 points1 point ago

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Crayfish is what we called them. Used to catch them in the creek as kids. Loved these little guys.

[–]gnovos 0 points1 point ago

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Crawdad sticks to magnet?

[–]RDJesse 0 points1 point ago

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It's a crawfish not a crawdad...

[–]I_sometimes_lie 5 points6 points ago

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Something beautiful... something terrible.

[–]Dandarya 2 points3 points ago

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youll never see that again in your life

[–]hirashirou 1 point2 points ago

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How do you even get all of that in the same picture?

[–]meatmanek 3 points4 points ago

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  1. Careful/lucky timing
  2. Stage it
  3. Photoshop

[–]eddyj0314 0 points1 point ago

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Guy in a suit, walking out of the woods, with lots of rings on his fingers... Is he on his way back from whacking some dude?

[–]TheSexNinja 17 points18 points ago

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I peeeench.

[–]genkajun 9 points10 points ago

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I will come at you, crawfish. I will capture you and all of your family, boil you alive, and serve you with sides of corn on the cob and red potatoes.

[–]sam334 11 points12 points ago

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I will. With some Old Bay, potatoes, corn, and boiling water.

[–]ckaili 4 points5 points ago

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so many different colors

[–]pchristophel 3 points4 points ago

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woob woob woob woob woob woob woob woob woob woob woob

[–]wRolf 2 points3 points ago

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(/) (o,,o) (/)

[–]spinozasrobot 10 points11 points ago

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He's not prawn to argue

[–]MrOmmNomNom 4 points5 points ago

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He's just a little crabby.

[–]hoxieX 4 points5 points ago

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You were really clawing at that one.

[–]axloc 0 points1 point ago

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This is so funny, you guys have me craying over here.

[–]dumbest_thang_ever 4 points5 points ago

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I was going to post a bunch of seafood puns, but I didn't want to be shellfish.

[–]ibisum -2 points-1 points ago

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JULGIE regretting you contributed to this thread ..

[–]LAG83 5 points6 points ago

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Crab people

[–]johnq-pubic 2 points3 points ago

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What are the camera settings to take a pic like that?

[–]meatmanek 1 point2 points ago

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[–]punchingtrees 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm not a crook!"

[–]amadeus2490 2 points3 points ago

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Aww, he thinks he's Richard Nixon.

[–]biggington 2 points3 points ago

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Ah the over zealous Crawfish. So brave it will throw up it's claws in defiance even when facing an 18-Wheeler barreling down a gravel road.

[–]Dandarya 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit nice camera quality.

oh and nice picture too I guess..

[–]lurker2whiteknight 1 point2 points ago

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I fail to understand this comment; perhaps it was a simple flippant remark?

Since the metadata was ripped from the picture unless you have more information than is presented here, this could have been shot with a average consumer camera with average glass.

In my opinion the success of this picture has to do with the framing, depth of field, colours, lines, symmetry, and subject matter. There is a lot going on in this picture.... and I'll go further and say its rather the photographer than their tool that is impressive here. Thank you for posting this picture.

[–]Dandarya 6 points7 points ago

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im so high...

[–]oohitsalady 1 point2 points ago

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I literally read that and thought, "wow...I am way too stoned for that comment. Let's see what trees has going on."

[–]thehalfwit[!] 0 points1 point ago

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I keep flipping back and forth as to whether this was staged or an opportunity that presented itself.

Either way, the photographer has an innate sense of composition and content. It's a great shot.

[–]Psilocyn 1 point2 points ago

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Is this in a gta mod?

[–]Vangoghbothears 1 point2 points ago

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And so the wallpaper changes.

[–]axloc 0 points1 point ago

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But.. but... the aspect ratio is going to be way off and the picture is fairly low in resolution.

[–]Vangoghbothears 0 points1 point ago

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I have a 13" laptop screen, and it looks great. Fortunately.

[–]dooley1988 1 point2 points ago

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This looks like an indie band's Album cover.

[–]ozmbie 4 points5 points ago

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[–]herbqueens 0 points1 point ago

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Hootie and the Crayfish!

[–]neighborcat1-scratch 1 point2 points ago

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LOOK OUT! IT HAS A LAWYER!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Ay!

[–]neededa2ndname 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Reminded me of the cover of the Prodigy album "Fat of the Land"

[–]itsprobablytrue 1 point2 points ago

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[–]eternalkerri 1 point2 points ago*

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A joke by Justin Wilson

So a momma crawfish and baby crawfish are walking down a trail through the bayou. They come across a deer on the trail, and the baby crawfish throws his claws up in the air and begins to run backwards.

"Don' worry bout him baby, dats a deer, he don' eat us."

Further down the trail they come across a black bear. Baby crawfish throws his claws up and begins to run backwards.

"Don' worry bout him baby, dats a bear, he don' eat us."

A little bit further down and they come across a man on the the trail. The mother throws up her claws and begins to run backwards, the baby asks, "What is it momma?"

"Dat a cajun baby, an he eat anyting!"

[–]ImNotMafia 1 point2 points ago

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And then you took him home, put him in a pot of boiling water, and then ate him. Right?

[–]DoTheDew 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Deradius 1 point2 points ago

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I love how crustaceans are game to take on anyone, no matter what size.

If you go to the beach and stand around, sometimes you'll look down and notice a fiddler crab preparing to do battle.

This is like a U.S. Marine fearlessly preparing to destroy Godzilla, armed only with his trusty knife.

[–]eyeamej 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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First thing I thought seeing this: "Hey, you forgot your towel!"

[–]Sidevoter 0 points1 point ago

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No humans allowed.

[–]Doorfink 0 points1 point ago

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"Okay folks, nothin' to see here."

[–]Drumlin 0 points1 point ago

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Heh...excellent work here...there are a lot of seemingly unrelated things going on.

You should probably x-post this WTF.

[–]skysdiver 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know how, but it make me feel good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]musicsexual 0 points1 point ago

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He's defending his treestar!

[–]Harioharima 2 points3 points ago

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Sweet merciful jesus, what manner of pop-culture-quipping god references the Land Before Time?

[–]prat187 0 points1 point ago

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I clicked on the thumbnail without reading title, and I shouted tomyself "damm.. Come at me BRO!!!".. I browsed back and read ur title. lol....

[–]clod_hopper 0 points1 point ago

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Come at me, sprout.

[–]pianobadger 0 points1 point ago

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Looks tasty.

[–]DebeoLaurus 0 points1 point ago

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Middle o nowhere, still puttin up a fight!

[–]narwhalthrowaway 0 points1 point ago

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That's MY LEAF GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!

[–]KarTails 0 points1 point ago

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We found one today doing the same thing but didn't get low enough.

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/6485/comeatmebroi.png

[–]Harioharima 0 points1 point ago

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Becoming famous for being immortal has attracted the interest of local law enforcement.

[–]felatedbirthday 0 points1 point ago

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Comeatmeeeee

[–]iKn0wr1gHt 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck you I'm a crab!

[–]Miss_Irridescence 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I could upvote this more than once.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That's an interestingly curved plane of focus. I'm wondering if some of the bokeh was created in post since 24mm at f/4.5 doesn't usually look like that.

[–]Prog 0 points1 point ago

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The fact that people think this is a lobster or a crab is blowing my mind. It's a crawfish, come on!

[–]wakkamon 0 points1 point ago

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I thought they only turned red when you cook 'em?

[–]Dominiking 0 points1 point ago

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I thought Zoidberg finished him off on their home planet.

[–]DownTownD14 0 points1 point ago

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...What is happening in this picture?

[–]ibisum 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. It's called a JULGIE.

[–]Chaoslab 0 points1 point ago

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Must be from District #9

[–]mrboucher 0 points1 point ago

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I just made this my background

[–]Constam 0 points1 point ago

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First "come at me bro" that I've heard in a squeaky little crawdad voice, that's for sure.

[–]IforgotwhatIwasdoing 0 points1 point ago

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Oh shit! It's the cops, run!

[–]Southernboy3180 0 points1 point ago

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correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't crawfish brown when they are alive? They don't turn red until after boiling right?

[–]Twisted_Fate 0 points1 point ago

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"Fuck the Police"

[–]BigZBerserk 0 points1 point ago

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You go little lobster, you go!

[–]slashsigh 0 points1 point ago

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Dod-a-chok Did-a-chum

[–]porklicious 0 points1 point ago

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Mr. Krabs?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Liked this pic so much that I-

http://i.imgur.com/9Whqt.jpg

[–]adhutch23 0 points1 point ago

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rinse, purge, rinse, purge, spice, nom nom nom

[–]jaywalker32 0 points1 point ago

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That is one clean looking road.

[–]KrashnDash 0 points1 point ago

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Now I have a craving for seafood

[–]He11razor 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TripodMan 0 points1 point ago

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The officer said, "Put 'em up!"

[–]baindramaged 0 points1 point ago

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[–]moofus 0 points1 point ago

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[–]martinmeba 0 points1 point ago

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aah, how I miss crawfish...

[–]CottageMcMurphy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]BuckyDuster 0 points1 point ago

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Bad-ass Crawdaddy

[–]aniso 0 points1 point ago

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The context of this photo has to be incredible...

[–]worldlyguy 0 points1 point ago

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He looks pretty tasty!!

CajunMan

[–]iforgetatowel 0 points1 point ago

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Why did the craw daddy cross the road?

[–]Drumlin 3 points4 points ago

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To have his motives questioned.

[–]Lafitte 0 points1 point ago

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Boil that son of a bitch, and eat his innards.

[–]eyeamej 0 points1 point ago

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Here ya go Boiled those this past Easter weekend.

[–]sodappop -3 points-2 points ago

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gasp! Don't you know how inhumane that is?! They're ALIVE when you kill them!

[–]yadidamean36 0 points1 point ago

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STEVE HOLT!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Crawdango!!!!

My Crawdad used to escape from the tank, go on epic adventures around the house. I used to have to use the dog to track him down. What you see in this pic is the exact front Crawdango would put up when found.

RIP Crawdango, we miss you

[–]TripodMan -1 points0 points ago

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This picture gets in my craw

[–]AwesomeIncarnate -1 points0 points ago

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This is boss.

[–]Rickmasta -1 points0 points ago

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[–]ModernRonin -1 points0 points ago

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He's angry because that one crab got to be on Prodigy's album cover and he has to hang out in the gutter.

[–]bhindthesin -1 points0 points ago

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The Fat Of The Land

[–]aylaa157 -1 points0 points ago

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prodigy album cover.

[–]dewski -4 points-3 points ago

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