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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 324

[–]Baconfat 233 points234 points ago

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Some dick took his seat...

[–]CtrlCthenV 151 points152 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]canonymous 93 points94 points ago

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The Coen brothers.

[–]sgt_shizzles 24 points25 points ago

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I want to believe you, but it's just not.... bleak enough.

[–]sargassum 22 points23 points ago

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You should watch Burn After Reading... Not their most acclaimed flick, but pretty darn good.

[–]doinit4lulz 29 points30 points ago

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I never understood why that movie never got very popular. I thought it was amazing and hilarious. It's just a fucked up movie about nothing. At the end I sat there and just had a huge smile on my face while saying, "What the fuck?"

[–]sargassum 16 points17 points ago

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I think it's because it wasn't advertised heavily, and the trailer didn't sell the movie very well. I had seen ads for it, but didn't mentally put the film on any sort of "must-see" list. The only reason I went is because my GF is a huge Coen Bros fan; I didn't even realize they made it until the opening credits.

I saw it and I LOVED it. But you're right, it is kind of a movie about nothing. Which makes it really hard to convince your friends that it's worth seeing. I told some people about it, but all I could really say about it was, "It's kind of like The Big Lebowski, but not really. But it's funny, and Brad Pitt is a personal trainer, and George Clooney mostly builds an elaborate mechanical dildo-chair for an hour and a half... Oh, oh, oh... plus John Malkovich is awesome."

So, I wasn't exactly great at building the "buzz".

[–]i20d 5 points6 points ago

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You just did buddy. You just did.

/taps sargassum on the shoulder and leave whistling in the distance. (going to download the movie...)

[–]metallink11 9 points10 points ago

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[–]Darkhavans 2 points3 points ago

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I agree, one of my favorite movies of all time.

[–]smdepot 1 point2 points ago

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seriously, monkey rocker ftw.

[–]celticmagnum[S] 2 points3 points ago

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relevant it's from burn after reading

[–]NeoScout 2 points3 points ago

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that's very nice though

[–]Teotwawki69 4 points5 points ago

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That gear arrangement makes it look like the dildo is on top of a chainsaw. Then again, this is Japan. If it were a chainsaw, I wouldn't be one bit surprised.

[–]aprildh08 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how much it would cost to ship one of those to America...

[–]minustwomillionkarma 1 point2 points ago

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Mr Garrison?

[–]bigmike186 52 points53 points ago*

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I'll just put his here NSFW

Edit: fixed link

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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I have to watch this for science.

[–]Boobzilla 8 points9 points ago

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Yes....for science!

[–]T-Luv 22 points23 points ago

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I'm just gonna watch it for fapping

[–]Maniacal 2 points3 points ago

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At least you are honest.

[–]pathogenXD 50 points51 points ago

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[–]WiglyWorm 20 points21 points ago

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nsfw

[–]Pulptastic 15 points16 points ago

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TL;AF

[–]Poultry_Sashimi 31 points32 points ago

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Too Late; Already Fapped?

[–]Nathan_BS 18 points19 points ago

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Too Late; Already Fired?

[–]Vexing 4 points5 points ago

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Two Llamas; Already Fried

[–]by_myself 1 point2 points ago

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You could have said "talking llamas", but you didn't. I am disappoint.

[–]bookoo 10 points11 points ago

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Its really hard to fap to that because I keep laughing at the possibility of her crashing.........................I'll keep trying and get back to you.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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It's been 11 minutes. You're not fooling anybody.

[–]bookoo 16 points17 points ago

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Good news, everyone!

[–]MassRelay 1 point2 points ago

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WTF at 3:30 a little kid jumps into the picture??!

[–]Notquitesane 2 points3 points ago

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Not a little kid, it's a cameraman.

[–]gfixler 8 points9 points ago

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It's hard to tell, because the video was filmed with a potato.

[–]TheMidnighToker 10 points11 points ago

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I came here looking for the obligatory South Park reference to "it", but holy shit dude.

[–]amuusing 5 points6 points ago

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Same, here's a video. Beware, I still cringe at the sounds even though it's a cartoon.

[–]the_onanist 8 points9 points ago

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Speaking as an engineer, that's impressive.

[–]freakon 3 points4 points ago

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I love how "SEX" is emphasized.

[–]CtrlCthenV 2 points3 points ago

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I think this is the vid where she rides around in a van hanging half way out the window getting banged while driving around town. So there is sex at one point.

[–]Predator_ 2 points3 points ago

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Another reason to love Japan.

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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So you're saying they're Japanese.

[–]relaximadoctor 1 point2 points ago

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glad someone else has seen this too

[–]ExistentialEnso 1 point2 points ago

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Japan -- the world's most passionate contributor to the validity of of Rule 34.

[–]JayKaos 279 points280 points ago

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Probably a trick, rider takes it off and puts the seat back on when they want to ride- would you steal a bike with a dildo on it?

[–]Vincent133 351 points352 points ago

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"Why are you carrying a blue dildo?"

"Security."

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points ago

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"Why do you have a lock then o.O?"

[–]le_hippo 82 points83 points ago

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"Decoy"

[–]CrivensMcJugs 23 points24 points ago

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kinky.

[–]YannisNeos 3 points4 points ago

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"So I can stick it up my ass"

[–]nixonrichard 1 point2 points ago

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Considering men are sent to prison at 10x the rate of women, I wholeheartedly support this new criminal evolutionary pressure.

[–]KOAN13 6 points7 points ago

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I don't understand the relevance of the gender disparity...

[–]TheLastBoyScout 92 points93 points ago

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You wouldn't download a bike with a dildo on it

FTFY

[–]Deeterific 5 points6 points ago

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Depends on who else is in the movie.

[–]TommyBoy012 3 points4 points ago

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Samuel l Jackson

[–]Deeterific 5 points6 points ago

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Fine, what's the plot?

[–]Teotwawki69 8 points9 points ago

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Forget the plot. Just call it "Dicks on a Bike" and you've already sold the movie.

[–]IDidntFixShit 80 points81 points ago

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You wouldn't download a bike with a dildo on it

FTFY

FTFY

[–]epidemicz 79 points80 points ago

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Fucking bastard, I was like wtf did he fix? Then I was like.

[–]Poultry_Sashimi 13 points14 points ago

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Redditor for 2 months

7 total comments

Pick up the pace, Mr. FixShit, there are plenty more people to troll out there!

[–]Jumin 2 points3 points ago

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Screw you I would if I... uh never mind.

[–]splice42 12 points13 points ago

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Actually, OP just revealed they just bought a dildo. They saw a locked up bike with no seat, karma signs appeared in their eyes (cartoon-style, yo), and a minute later... dildo bike!

[–]KOAN13 1 point2 points ago

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What do karma signs look like?

[–]Delfishie 2 points3 points ago

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A bit like chameleons.

[–]rib-bit 4 points5 points ago

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I was thinking the same thing -- it's probably safer than the lock.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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A dildo with blood on it would make it even safer!

[–]rib-bit 3 points4 points ago

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do you think blood or shit would be safer?

[–]mexicodoug 6 points7 points ago

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A combination of the two!

[–]Teotwawki69 8 points9 points ago

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Santorum, for sure.

[–]manole100 2 points3 points ago

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But santorum contains a little extra something.

[–]Poultry_Sashimi 2 points3 points ago

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Would that be more like a Dirty Juarez?

[–]Myth3842 -1 points0 points ago

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Unless it was in west San Francisco.

[–]Attendant 5 points6 points ago

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What's "west San Francisco"?

[–]laofmoonster 6 points7 points ago

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Probably means West Hollywood, one of the gayest places in America.

[–]realgenius 5 points6 points ago

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Or he just thinks "West" makes it more gayer.

[–]istumbler 11 points12 points ago

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West San Francisco (the Sunset, Richmond and Parkside districts) is predominantly family homes and there is a significant Cantonese speaking population. The Castro is much more central, and gay as a $3 bill.

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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Just floating a theory.

[–]Expected_More 1 point2 points ago

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The Google King has spoken.

[–]spaceindaver 1 point2 points ago

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Death To The West? Oh, behave.

[–]Teotwawki69 2 points3 points ago

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That part of East San Diego that's right next to San Hollywood.

[–]newtotheinterpoops 7 points8 points ago

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The same thing that's in West Hollywood, presumably.

[–]McLargepants 80 points81 points ago

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Well, it's better than going to an airport.

[–]celticmagnum[S] 1 point2 points ago

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What is this joke? I've seen it a couple times in this thread

[–]colieb 3 points4 points ago

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It's from South Park.

[–]MisterReds 23 points24 points ago

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This bike is dildos.

[–]8-bit_d-boy 68 points69 points ago

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Dammit, South Park!

[–]bashar1209 34 points35 points ago

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[–]Eternality 3 points4 points ago

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haha what episode is that

Edit: nevermind i figured it out by the link, im dumb

[–]Febreze4175 4 points5 points ago

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I came to the comments just to make sure someone posted this.

[–]inertia186 9 points10 points ago

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Well it sure beats what they put you through at the airport.

[–]imbalanceplease 2 points3 points ago*

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southpark was my first thought!

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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This is horrible. at least put a seat at the base so you aren't supporting all your weight with your vag.

[–]DoctorCube 112 points113 points ago*

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Oh I don't think its going to see a vag. It's a men's bike.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]atatassault 29 points30 points ago

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There is no such thing as a "men's bike". That's a regular/unisex bike; the top bar is the most structurally sound way of connecting the front and rear of the frame. Women's bikes that have taht very low dip in the top bar are meant to be able to be used with long skirts.

The bike in the link could be use with a mini skirt no problem.

[–]iarz 125 points126 points ago

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You can tell it's a man bike...its wiener is right there.

[–]fishrobe 9 points10 points ago

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ah-ha! I always wondered why that design was considered a girl's bike, when men might... benefit more with a lower crossbar, if there's an accident.

[–]aitigie 5 points6 points ago

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Modern mountain bike frames have started incorporating a dip in the top bar. AFAIK it's for exactly this reason.

[–]bruce656 2 points3 points ago

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So what your saying is that there are women's bikes, and then there are unisex bikes? Hmmm.

[–]Tahj42 3 points4 points ago

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Or women with pants.

[–]Odusei 4 points5 points ago

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Don't be silly, women wear skirts and dresses only.

[–]absentbird 4 points5 points ago

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Please, be reasonable. Women in pants? How vulgar.

[–]seagullsong 4 points5 points ago

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I knew a kid in high school who rigged his bike seat to tilt up and down so he could ride around standing on the petals and miming being fucked in the ass by a bike. There were...sound effects...involved.

[–]ivanmarsh 2 points3 points ago

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I'm fairly sure you can replace "vag" with "ass" in that sentence.

[–]Topsiders 6 points7 points ago

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Not one person has zoomed in on the crotch bar to see what it says yet? Snap-On? Maker of fine tools?!? slow clap

[–]JimbobTheBuilder 3 points4 points ago

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that's the first thing I saw in the picture. Well, after the phallic device, of course. Upvote for the sake of engineering

[–]Nabbles 16 points17 points ago

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Could you imagine the pain of falling? I mean holy shit. going 15 MPH with something lodged in you. gah....

[–]stlunatic15 16 points17 points ago

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Imagine going over a very bumpy road, or a bunch of speed bumps.

Makes me cringe.

[–]grandzooby 34 points35 points ago

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There's a not-so-good joke about two girls riding bikes on a cobblestone road. One says, "I've never come this way before". And the other responds, "Oh, that's the cobblestones".

[–]Prezombie 53 points54 points ago

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The Ghetto Vibrator.

[–]butyourenice 2 points3 points ago

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as a clumsy person, this was the first thought i had. i instinctively clenched my thighs.

[–]rrghetti 13 points14 points ago

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Someone stole the reach around hand attachment?!

[–]balbo_biggins 4 points5 points ago

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I wonder if that makes it more or less likely for someone to steal your seat.

[–]gladd86 6 points7 points ago

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It gives you more leverage when you're trying to do a Double Flare in the X-Games.

[–]johnkong 4 points5 points ago

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Watch out for potholes.

[–]Attendant 6 points7 points ago

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Tour De Pants

[–]MoonMan_JC 3 points4 points ago

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I can imagine some kid walking out of a long, boring class just to realize that his bike seat has been replaced with a big blue dildo. Now our hero must make the difficult decision of whether to a) publicly twist and tug at the dildo until it comes off, at which point he'll have to somehow dispose of said dildo or b) brave the most uncomfortable bike ride of his life.

[–]thavi 3 points4 points ago

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c) walk home

[–]philmoskowitz 5 points6 points ago

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The cervix child bearing not load bearing.

[–]lop987 22 points23 points ago*

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Wouldn't the rider have to go without pants to use this? Isn't that illegal?

EDIT the fuck am I saying. It would be illegal to use this in public anyway.

[–]treskies 42 points43 points ago

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You clearly have never been to San Francisco.

[–]FANGO 9 points10 points ago

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Just in case anyone thought this guy was just being funny:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/09/us-nudity-ordinance-california-idUSTRE7880DU20110909

Note that they're not planning on making public nudity illegal in SF, they're just planning to make it so you need to sit on a towel or something if you use any public seating.

[–]colet 4 points5 points ago

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Not sure if the article is more funny or because the guy's name is Wiener. [/13 yr humour]

[–]FANGO 4 points5 points ago

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Not sure?

Of course it is.

[–]Teotwawki69 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen things on the streets of San Francisco that would make your eyebrows fall out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was in SF walking around and I saw a garage sale full of around a hundred used dildos.

I can't make this shit up. However, I admit I've seen crazier things in West Hollywood.

[–]buford419 24 points25 points ago

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Wear a skirt.

[–]obomba 13 points14 points ago

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Or wear your pants backwards with the zipper down.

[–]Teotwawki69 6 points7 points ago

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It sounds like you can offer some first-hand advice on this technique of dildo-biking...

[–]Red_Inferno 20 points21 points ago

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Wear a kilt.

FTFY

[–]atomic811 11 points12 points ago

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This bike is a pain in my ass.

[–]tellu2 1 point2 points ago

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Don't be such a pussy.

[–]gsamov2 4 points5 points ago

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Just gonna leave this here.

[–]RomeoWhiskey 1 point2 points ago

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i would like to watch someone use one of those.

[–]darthnuri 2 points3 points ago

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We call that a clincher.

[–]RedSquaree 2 points3 points ago

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strap-on

[–]pietro187 2 points3 points ago

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Well, I don't know what I expected.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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"Man, bike thieves can go fuck themselves."

[–]2pacsofgum 1 point2 points ago

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But you are secure in your seat.

[–]otaku-o_o 1 point2 points ago

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wasnt there a rage comic about this?

[–]mak36 1 point2 points ago

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This is actually why I bike in skirts

[–]Peatore 1 point2 points ago

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What captures me the most is the "snap on" brand.

[–]HotDinnerBatman 1 point2 points ago

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I want...no...I NEED this.

[–]RunDogRun 1 point2 points ago

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Buyers of Snap-On are rarely dildo-friendly, at least in my experience.

[–]jsloss 1 point2 points ago

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Look closely , it's the strap-on snap-on edition

[–]drphungky 1 point2 points ago

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I rode a bike without a seat for years in college. I wonder why my friends never thought to do this to my bike as a prank.

[–]asassin91 1 point2 points ago

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Still better than the airlines.

[–]infinitezero8 1 point2 points ago

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Gives a whole to meaning to "Snap-On".

[–]jmilly 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Marco_X 1 point2 points ago

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I believe this was my bike. The one I donated to Hamilton College. Good to see what's become of it.

[–]doublemcslutjr 1 point2 points ago

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beats going to the airport...

[–]vodkus 1 point2 points ago

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God dammit, i was gonna pull that prank on my friend after i saw that one rage comic. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[–]techmnml 1 point2 points ago

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Wait this isn't how you ride yours?

[–]Lazook 2 points3 points ago

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"College is gonna be so sweet. I'm gonna ride my bike everywhere. What? My seat got replaced by a dildo?

Fuck college"

[–]mntbss 2 points3 points ago

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[–]sofsof 4 points5 points ago

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NSFW

[–]Szoro 2 points3 points ago

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It's a men's bike

[–]stickmansgirl 2 points3 points ago

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This. looks painful.

[–]ivanmarsh 2 points3 points ago

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Indeed... even if I was going to ride with a dildo up my ass I would at least have a guard on it so it doesn't puncture my delicate insides.

[–]tokol 3 points4 points ago

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I did a double-take to check if that was a women's bike. It wasn't.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Lovely shade of blue

[–]NHsucks 0 points1 point ago

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Your mom has a sick trek!

[–]DeadPand 0 points1 point ago

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Nice way to prevent someone stealing your bike seat, right?

[–]latarian 0 points1 point ago

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I normally think stealing bike seats is a dick move, but if the person who did it replaced it with that, that's pretty funny.

[–]13_0_0_0_0 0 points1 point ago

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Was that in New Haven by any chance?

[–]phiberoptick 0 points1 point ago

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That's just Treks new city cruiser model, the Asstroglide

[–]ontopic 0 points1 point ago

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I was so hoping this was an Ed Hardy branded bicycle.

[–]fishrobe 0 points1 point ago

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Am i really the only one who thought of this?

[–]worshipthis 0 points1 point ago

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No one gonna touch that

[–]imhugeinjapantz 0 points1 point ago

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The kegel strength it will take to ride is impressive.

[–]JimmyJamesMac 0 points1 point ago

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I think the owner just didn't want people to...fuck with his bike.

[–]CaptainFilmy 0 points1 point ago

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Can you imagine a collision while riding one of those?

[–]bigfig 0 points1 point ago

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Good old dildo bike never fails to garner upvotes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think this guy underestimates the depravity that exists in the world.

[–]Alexcellent 0 points1 point ago

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Needs a nun.

[–]shitworms 0 points1 point ago

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I fucking hate SRAM Grip Shift.

[–]stevetroyer 0 points1 point ago

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IT!

[–]10007638 0 points1 point ago

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What if you fell?

[–]SpeckledFleck 1 point2 points ago

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you'd be fucked

[–]Rubberdoll 0 points1 point ago

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It's a dildike

[–]tkhan456 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know what I was expecting when I clicked the link...

[–]bonitax 0 points1 point ago

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is it legal to ride this!!?? WTF!!??

[–]slipperyfist 0 points1 point ago

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I read the title as "diablo bike". Even after reading some of the comments, it took me a moment to realize my mistake.

[–]pHreaksYcle 0 points1 point ago

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I HAVE THAT FUCKING BIKE.

Without the dildo of course.

Great bike. Snap-On, can't beat it.

[–]IamtheHarpy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]beersANDblunts 2 points3 points ago

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im not gonna lie, i fapped

[–]SpeckledFleck 1 point2 points ago

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HA! loved the "making of" segment!

[–]dredgedskeleton 0 points1 point ago

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way to go reddit

[–]TheElusiveTrout 0 points1 point ago

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Either best or worst thief deterrence ever.

[–]Crewboy[!] 0 points1 point ago

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That doesn't look very feminine.

[–]jim_the_anvil 0 points1 point ago

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Wanna steal my bike!? Fuck You!!

[–]Samoman21 0 points1 point ago

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not sure if genius or creepy

[–]purplemacaroni 0 points1 point ago

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That's my kinda bike.

[–]marriage_iguana 0 points1 point ago

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Beats the airlines...

[–]xlance 0 points1 point ago

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Mr. Garrison?

[–]lamaa 0 points1 point ago

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this just makes me think "meat spin"

[–]FlukeKid 0 points1 point ago

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I dont think he'll really need a lock. Nobody wants to touch some random dildo.

[–]naturalcauzes 0 points1 point ago

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Sure beats waiting in line at the airport...

[–]Glueyfeathers 0 points1 point ago

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"Still beats flying with the airlines"

[–]Shexerz 0 points1 point ago

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shit like this is common believe it or not. keeps bike thieves away or makes them think twice about stealing a bike. i mean what kind of thief would endure the torment of stealing a bike with a dildo seat.