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dildo bike (i.imgur.com)
submitted 11 months ago by celticmagnum
[–]Baconfat 233 points234 points235 points 11 months ago
Some dick took his seat...
[–]CtrlCthenV 151 points152 points153 points 11 months ago
NSFW The Japanese have been doing dildo bike riding for a while now.
[–][deleted] 11 months ago
[deleted]
[–]canonymous 93 points94 points95 points 11 months ago
The Coen brothers.
[–]sgt_shizzles 24 points25 points26 points 11 months ago
I want to believe you, but it's just not.... bleak enough.
[–]sargassum 22 points23 points24 points 11 months ago
You should watch Burn After Reading... Not their most acclaimed flick, but pretty darn good.
[–]doinit4lulz 29 points30 points31 points 11 months ago
I never understood why that movie never got very popular. I thought it was amazing and hilarious. It's just a fucked up movie about nothing. At the end I sat there and just had a huge smile on my face while saying, "What the fuck?"
[–]sargassum 16 points17 points18 points 11 months ago
I think it's because it wasn't advertised heavily, and the trailer didn't sell the movie very well. I had seen ads for it, but didn't mentally put the film on any sort of "must-see" list. The only reason I went is because my GF is a huge Coen Bros fan; I didn't even realize they made it until the opening credits.
I saw it and I LOVED it. But you're right, it is kind of a movie about nothing. Which makes it really hard to convince your friends that it's worth seeing. I told some people about it, but all I could really say about it was, "It's kind of like The Big Lebowski, but not really. But it's funny, and Brad Pitt is a personal trainer, and George Clooney mostly builds an elaborate mechanical dildo-chair for an hour and a half... Oh, oh, oh... plus John Malkovich is awesome."
So, I wasn't exactly great at building the "buzz".
[–]i20d 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
You just did buddy. You just did.
/taps sargassum on the shoulder and leave whistling in the distance. (going to download the movie...)
[–]metallink11 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
The end of that movie summed it up so well.
[–]Darkhavans 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I agree, one of my favorite movies of all time.
[–]smdepot 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
seriously, monkey rocker ftw.
[–]celticmagnum[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
relevant it's from burn after reading
[–]NeoScout 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
that's very nice though
[–]Teotwawki69 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
That gear arrangement makes it look like the dildo is on top of a chainsaw. Then again, this is Japan. If it were a chainsaw, I wouldn't be one bit surprised.
[–]aprildh08 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I wonder how much it would cost to ship one of those to America...
[–]minustwomillionkarma 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Mr Garrison?
[–]bigmike186 52 points53 points54 points 11 months ago*
I'll just put his here NSFW
Edit: fixed link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 11 months ago
I have to watch this for science.
[–]Boobzilla 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Yes....for science!
[–]T-Luv 22 points23 points24 points 11 months ago
I'm just gonna watch it for fapping
[–]Maniacal 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
At least you are honest.
[–]pathogenXD 50 points51 points52 points 11 months ago
well well well
[–]WiglyWorm 20 points21 points22 points 11 months ago
nsfw
[–]Pulptastic 15 points16 points17 points 11 months ago
TL;AF
[–]Poultry_Sashimi 31 points32 points33 points 11 months ago
Too Late; Already Fapped?
[–]Nathan_BS 18 points19 points20 points 11 months ago
Too Late; Already Fired?
[–]Vexing 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Two Llamas; Already Fried
[–]by_myself 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
You could have said "talking llamas", but you didn't. I am disappoint.
[–]bookoo 10 points11 points12 points 11 months ago
Its really hard to fap to that because I keep laughing at the possibility of her crashing.........................I'll keep trying and get back to you.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
It's been 11 minutes. You're not fooling anybody.
[–]bookoo 16 points17 points18 points 11 months ago
Good news, everyone!
[–]MassRelay 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
WTF at 3:30 a little kid jumps into the picture??!
[–]Notquitesane 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Not a little kid, it's a cameraman.
[–]gfixler 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
It's hard to tell, because the video was filmed with a potato.
[–]TheMidnighToker 10 points11 points12 points 11 months ago
I came here looking for the obligatory South Park reference to "it", but holy shit dude.
[–]amuusing 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Same, here's a video. Beware, I still cringe at the sounds even though it's a cartoon.
[–]the_onanist 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Speaking as an engineer, that's impressive.
[–]freakon 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
I love how "SEX" is emphasized.
[–]CtrlCthenV 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I think this is the vid where she rides around in a van hanging half way out the window getting banged while driving around town. So there is sex at one point.
[–]Predator_ 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Another reason to love Japan.
[–]realgenius 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
So you're saying they're Japanese.
[–]relaximadoctor 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
glad someone else has seen this too
[–]ExistentialEnso 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Japan -- the world's most passionate contributor to the validity of of Rule 34.
[–]JayKaos 279 points280 points281 points 11 months ago
Probably a trick, rider takes it off and puts the seat back on when they want to ride- would you steal a bike with a dildo on it?
[–]Vincent133 351 points352 points353 points 11 months ago
"Why are you carrying a blue dildo?"
"Security."
[–][deleted] 49 points50 points51 points 11 months ago
"Why do you have a lock then o.O?"
[–]le_hippo 82 points83 points84 points 11 months ago
"Decoy"
[–]CrivensMcJugs 23 points24 points25 points 11 months ago
kinky.
[–]YannisNeos 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
"So I can stick it up my ass"
[–]nixonrichard 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Considering men are sent to prison at 10x the rate of women, I wholeheartedly support this new criminal evolutionary pressure.
[–]KOAN13 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
I don't understand the relevance of the gender disparity...
[–]TheLastBoyScout 92 points93 points94 points 11 months ago
You wouldn't download a bike with a dildo on it
FTFY
[–]Deeterific 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Depends on who else is in the movie.
[–]TommyBoy012 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
Samuel l Jackson
Fine, what's the plot?
[–]Teotwawki69 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Forget the plot. Just call it "Dicks on a Bike" and you've already sold the movie.
[–]IDidntFixShit 80 points81 points82 points 11 months ago
You wouldn't download a bike with a dildo on it FTFY
[–]epidemicz 79 points80 points81 points 11 months ago
Fucking bastard, I was like wtf did he fix? Then I was like.
[–]Poultry_Sashimi 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Redditor for 2 months 7 total comments
Redditor for 2 months
7 total comments
Pick up the pace, Mr. FixShit, there are plenty more people to troll out there!
[–]Jumin 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Screw you I would if I... uh never mind.
[–]splice42 12 points13 points14 points 11 months ago
Actually, OP just revealed they just bought a dildo. They saw a locked up bike with no seat, karma signs appeared in their eyes (cartoon-style, yo), and a minute later... dildo bike!
[–]KOAN13 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
What do karma signs look like?
[–]Delfishie 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
A bit like chameleons.
[–]rib-bit 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I was thinking the same thing -- it's probably safer than the lock.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
A dildo with blood on it would make it even safer!
[–]rib-bit 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
do you think blood or shit would be safer?
[–]mexicodoug 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
A combination of the two!
Santorum, for sure.
[–]manole100 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
But santorum contains a little extra something.
[–]Poultry_Sashimi 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Would that be more like a Dirty Juarez?
[–]Myth3842 -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
Unless it was in west San Francisco.
[–]Attendant 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
What's "west San Francisco"?
[–]laofmoonster 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Probably means West Hollywood, one of the gayest places in America.
[–]realgenius 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Or he just thinks "West" makes it more gayer.
[–]istumbler 11 points12 points13 points 11 months ago
West San Francisco (the Sunset, Richmond and Parkside districts) is predominantly family homes and there is a significant Cantonese speaking population. The Castro is much more central, and gay as a $3 bill.
Just floating a theory.
[–]Expected_More 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
The Google King has spoken.
[–]spaceindaver 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Death To The West? Oh, behave.
[–]Teotwawki69 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
That part of East San Diego that's right next to San Hollywood.
[–]newtotheinterpoops 7 points8 points9 points 11 months ago
The same thing that's in West Hollywood, presumably.
[–]McLargepants 80 points81 points82 points 11 months ago
Well, it's better than going to an airport.
[–]celticmagnum[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
What is this joke? I've seen it a couple times in this thread
[–]colieb 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
It's from South Park.
[–]MisterReds 23 points24 points25 points 11 months ago
This bike is dildos.
[–]8-bit_d-boy 68 points69 points70 points 11 months ago
Dammit, South Park!
[–]bashar1209 34 points35 points36 points 11 months ago
http://gearheads.in/images/imported/2011/04/IT_28South_Park3B_The_Entity29-1.jpeg
[–]Eternality 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
haha what episode is that
Edit: nevermind i figured it out by the link, im dumb
[–]Febreze4175 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I came to the comments just to make sure someone posted this.
[–]inertia186 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
Well it sure beats what they put you through at the airport.
[–]imbalanceplease 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago*
southpark was my first thought!
[–][deleted] 39 points40 points41 points 11 months ago
This is horrible. at least put a seat at the base so you aren't supporting all your weight with your vag.
[–]DoctorCube 112 points113 points114 points 11 months ago*
Oh I don't think its going to see a vag. It's a men's bike.
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 11 months ago
ಠ_ಠ
[–]atatassault 29 points30 points31 points 11 months ago
There is no such thing as a "men's bike". That's a regular/unisex bike; the top bar is the most structurally sound way of connecting the front and rear of the frame. Women's bikes that have taht very low dip in the top bar are meant to be able to be used with long skirts.
The bike in the link could be use with a mini skirt no problem.
[–]iarz 125 points126 points127 points 11 months ago
You can tell it's a man bike...its wiener is right there.
[–]fishrobe 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
ah-ha! I always wondered why that design was considered a girl's bike, when men might... benefit more with a lower crossbar, if there's an accident.
[–]aitigie 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Modern mountain bike frames have started incorporating a dip in the top bar. AFAIK it's for exactly this reason.
[–]bruce656 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
So what your saying is that there are women's bikes, and then there are unisex bikes? Hmmm.
[–]Tahj42 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
Or women with pants.
[–]Odusei 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Don't be silly, women wear skirts and dresses only.
[–]absentbird 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Please, be reasonable. Women in pants? How vulgar.
[–]seagullsong 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I knew a kid in high school who rigged his bike seat to tilt up and down so he could ride around standing on the petals and miming being fucked in the ass by a bike. There were...sound effects...involved.
[–]ivanmarsh 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
I'm fairly sure you can replace "vag" with "ass" in that sentence.
[–]Topsiders 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Not one person has zoomed in on the crotch bar to see what it says yet? Snap-On? Maker of fine tools?!? slow clap
[–]JimbobTheBuilder 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
that's the first thing I saw in the picture. Well, after the phallic device, of course. Upvote for the sake of engineering
[–]Nabbles 16 points17 points18 points 11 months ago
Could you imagine the pain of falling? I mean holy shit. going 15 MPH with something lodged in you. gah....
[–]stlunatic15 16 points17 points18 points 11 months ago
Imagine going over a very bumpy road, or a bunch of speed bumps.
Makes me cringe.
[–]grandzooby 34 points35 points36 points 11 months ago
There's a not-so-good joke about two girls riding bikes on a cobblestone road. One says, "I've never come this way before". And the other responds, "Oh, that's the cobblestones".
[–]Prezombie 53 points54 points55 points 11 months ago
The Ghetto Vibrator.
[–]butyourenice 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
as a clumsy person, this was the first thought i had. i instinctively clenched my thighs.
[–]rrghetti 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Someone stole the reach around hand attachment?!
[–]balbo_biggins 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
I wonder if that makes it more or less likely for someone to steal your seat.
[–]gladd86 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
It gives you more leverage when you're trying to do a Double Flare in the X-Games.
[–]johnkong 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Watch out for potholes.
[–]Attendant 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Tour De Pants
[–]MoonMan_JC 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
I can imagine some kid walking out of a long, boring class just to realize that his bike seat has been replaced with a big blue dildo. Now our hero must make the difficult decision of whether to a) publicly twist and tug at the dildo until it comes off, at which point he'll have to somehow dispose of said dildo or b) brave the most uncomfortable bike ride of his life.
[–]thavi 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
c) walk home
[–]philmoskowitz 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
The cervix child bearing not load bearing.
[–]lop987 22 points23 points24 points 11 months ago*
Wouldn't the rider have to go without pants to use this? Isn't that illegal?
EDIT the fuck am I saying. It would be illegal to use this in public anyway.
[–]treskies 42 points43 points44 points 11 months ago
You clearly have never been to San Francisco.
[–]FANGO 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
Just in case anyone thought this guy was just being funny:
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/09/09/us-nudity-ordinance-california-idUSTRE7880DU20110909
Note that they're not planning on making public nudity illegal in SF, they're just planning to make it so you need to sit on a towel or something if you use any public seating.
[–]colet 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Not sure if the article is more funny or because the guy's name is Wiener. [/13 yr humour]
[–]FANGO 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Not sure?
Of course it is.
I've seen things on the streets of San Francisco that would make your eyebrows fall out.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I was in SF walking around and I saw a garage sale full of around a hundred used dildos.
I can't make this shit up. However, I admit I've seen crazier things in West Hollywood.
[–]buford419 24 points25 points26 points 11 months ago
Wear a skirt.
[–]obomba 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Or wear your pants backwards with the zipper down.
[–]Teotwawki69 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
It sounds like you can offer some first-hand advice on this technique of dildo-biking...
[–]Red_Inferno 20 points21 points22 points 11 months ago
Wear a kilt.
[–]atomic811 11 points12 points13 points 11 months ago
This bike is a pain in my ass.
[–]tellu2 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Don't be such a pussy.
[–]gsamov2 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Just gonna leave this here.
[–]RomeoWhiskey 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
i would like to watch someone use one of those.
[–]darthnuri 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
We call that a clincher.
[–]RedSquaree 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
strap-on
[–]pietro187 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Well, I don't know what I expected.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
"Man, bike thieves can go fuck themselves."
[–]2pacsofgum 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
But you are secure in your seat.
[–]otaku-o_o 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
wasnt there a rage comic about this?
[–]mak36 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
This is actually why I bike in skirts
[–]Peatore 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
What captures me the most is the "snap on" brand.
[–]HotDinnerBatman 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I want...no...I NEED this.
[–]RunDogRun 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Buyers of Snap-On are rarely dildo-friendly, at least in my experience.
[–]jsloss 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Look closely , it's the strap-on snap-on edition
[–]drphungky 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I rode a bike without a seat for years in college. I wonder why my friends never thought to do this to my bike as a prank.
[–]asassin91 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Still better than the airlines.
[–]infinitezero8 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Gives a whole to meaning to "Snap-On".
[–]jmilly 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I'll just leave this here: http://shop.galleryhijinks.com/product/handmade-print-by-chris-blackstock.html
[–]Marco_X 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I believe this was my bike. The one I donated to Hamilton College. Good to see what's become of it.
[–]doublemcslutjr 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
beats going to the airport...
[–]vodkus 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
God dammit, i was gonna pull that prank on my friend after i saw that one rage comic. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
[–]techmnml 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Wait this isn't how you ride yours?
[–]Lazook 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
"College is gonna be so sweet. I'm gonna ride my bike everywhere. What? My seat got replaced by a dildo?
Fuck college"
[–]mntbss 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
http://h6img.com/p/1/fucking-bicycle-05d.jpg
[–]sofsof 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
NSFW
[–]Szoro 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
It's a men's bike
[–]stickmansgirl 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
This. looks painful.
Indeed... even if I was going to ride with a dildo up my ass I would at least have a guard on it so it doesn't puncture my delicate insides.
[–]tokol 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
I did a double-take to check if that was a women's bike. It wasn't.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Lovely shade of blue
[–]NHsucks 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Your mom has a sick trek!
[–]DeadPand 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Nice way to prevent someone stealing your bike seat, right?
[–]latarian 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I normally think stealing bike seats is a dick move, but if the person who did it replaced it with that, that's pretty funny.
[–]13_0_0_0_0 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Was that in New Haven by any chance?
[–]phiberoptick 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
That's just Treks new city cruiser model, the Asstroglide
[–]ontopic 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I was so hoping this was an Ed Hardy branded bicycle.
[–]fishrobe 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Am i really the only one who thought of this?
[–]worshipthis 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
No one gonna touch that
[–]imhugeinjapantz 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
The kegel strength it will take to ride is impressive.
[–]JimmyJamesMac 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I think the owner just didn't want people to...fuck with his bike.
[–]CaptainFilmy 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Can you imagine a collision while riding one of those?
[–]bigfig 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Good old dildo bike never fails to garner upvotes.
I think this guy underestimates the depravity that exists in the world.
[–]Alexcellent 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Needs a nun.
[–]shitworms 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I fucking hate SRAM Grip Shift.
[–]stevetroyer 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
IT!
[–]10007638 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
What if you fell?
[–]SpeckledFleck 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
you'd be fucked
[–]Rubberdoll 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
It's a dildike
[–]tkhan456 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I don't know what I was expecting when I clicked the link...
[–]bonitax 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
is it legal to ride this!!?? WTF!!??
[–]slipperyfist 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I read the title as "diablo bike". Even after reading some of the comments, it took me a moment to realize my mistake.
[–]pHreaksYcle 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I HAVE THAT FUCKING BIKE.
Without the dildo of course.
Great bike. Snap-On, can't beat it.
[–]IamtheHarpy 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
related and so NSFW you don't even know
[–]beersANDblunts 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
im not gonna lie, i fapped
HA! loved the "making of" segment!
[–]dredgedskeleton 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
way to go reddit
[–]TheElusiveTrout 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Either best or worst thief deterrence ever.
[–]Crewboy[] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
That doesn't look very feminine.
[–]jim_the_anvil 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Wanna steal my bike!? Fuck You!!
[–]Samoman21 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
not sure if genius or creepy
[–]purplemacaroni 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
That's my kinda bike.
[–]marriage_iguana 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Beats the airlines...
[–]xlance 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Mr. Garrison?
[–]lamaa 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
this just makes me think "meat spin"
[–]FlukeKid 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I dont think he'll really need a lock. Nobody wants to touch some random dildo.
[–]naturalcauzes 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Sure beats waiting in line at the airport...
[–]Glueyfeathers 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
"Still beats flying with the airlines"
[–]Shexerz 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
shit like this is common believe it or not. keeps bike thieves away or makes them think twice about stealing a bike. i mean what kind of thief would endure the torment of stealing a bike with a dildo seat.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
[–]Baconfat 233 points234 points235 points ago
[–]CtrlCthenV 151 points152 points153 points ago
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[–]canonymous 93 points94 points95 points ago
[–]sgt_shizzles 24 points25 points26 points ago
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[–]bigmike186 52 points53 points54 points ago*
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points ago
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[–]Poultry_Sashimi 31 points32 points33 points ago
[–]Nathan_BS 18 points19 points20 points ago
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[–]by_myself 1 point2 points3 points ago
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