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WTF

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all 60 comments

[–]JonnyGossamer 32 points33 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This comes from that special section in the bookstore for children's books to read to nieces/nephews so that you're never asked to babysit again.

[–]HMR 80 points81 points ago

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This kills the elf.

[–]Spleen_Muncher 2 points3 points ago

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I think this is my new favorite meme.

[–]imaketoilets 26 points27 points ago

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They shot him... They shot Bob in the fucking head

[–]korushi 24 points25 points ago

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..his name is Robert Paulson

[–]Horst665 3 points4 points ago

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his name is Robert Paulson

[–]howdoyoudance 14 points15 points ago

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I don't care how many times this gets reposted. I love it.

[–]mason55 22 points23 points ago

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Vincent: Whoa!

Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!

Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.

Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!

Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!

Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...

Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.

Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump!

[–]hudders 12 points13 points ago

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Do I have a sign saying "dead nigger storage" in my driveway?

[–]Tokacheif 8 points9 points ago

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Cus storin' dead niggers ain't my fucking business man!

[–]Creeves 10 points11 points ago

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Didn't realise that was actually Tarantino himself until a friend told me while watching it for the 3rd time.

[–]AllBlowedUp 6 points7 points ago

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Wow, downvoted for not knowing. Reddit is a harsh mistress.

[–]Goldcut 6 points7 points ago

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I know. Have the gall to not get a pop culture reference or know a specific detail about a movie and the downvote brigade is summoned. Not that downvotes really matter, but the behavior is a bit disappointing.

[–]Creeves 2 points3 points ago

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Not to mention that the main reason I posted it was so that others who didn't realise would now know also.

Plus it seems these two comments turned the tides. You guys rock. :D

[–]Gargoame 7 points8 points ago

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Soylent snow is elves!

[–]fappingcat 6 points7 points ago

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Hahaha r/elfabuse

[–]Gabe_b 7 points8 points ago

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Disappointed this isn't a real subreddit

[–]architrave 11 points12 points ago

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Hermione will create it soon.

[–]jimifun 5 points6 points ago

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And Harry and Ron will act like they give a shit.

[–]Supercamero 0 points1 point ago

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It is now =P

[–]ameoba 1 point2 points ago

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Somebody needs to make this. Now.

[–]jeannaimard 3 points4 points ago

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I was half expecting it to say "some days, the snow is yellow"...

[–]Sethyst 5 points6 points ago

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CANNOT CONTROL LAUGHTER

[–]cthulhufhtagn 2 points3 points ago

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I'm in bed next to a sleeping wife and I'm guffawing like a jackass. My time on reddit is about to come to a close for the day.

[–]AmIKawaiiUguuu 2 points3 points ago

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What is with all the cocaine posts?

I guess it serves as a warning, you know, lest you get shot in the head.

[–]cthulhufhtagn 1 point2 points ago

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I have not seen other cocaine posts lately.

[–]legba -1 points0 points ago

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Cocaine is a helluva drug.

[–]Strangebum451 1 point2 points ago

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Please find/make more of this wonderful story

[–]katough 1 point2 points ago

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can't stop laughing

[–]ephemera505 5 points6 points ago

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Watch Two and a half Men, that will stop your laughter.

[–]katough 0 points1 point ago

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works every time. thanks !

[–]pefyeah 1 point2 points ago

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It's a metaphor. And it's a pretty obvious one, too. The snow represents the American public, and it's ever changing ideologies. The twice a week feedings are a commentary from the poet about the wars in the middle east, and their dualities; mainly the vast over expenditures and collection of secrets. And, of course...the families represent cocaine. Or maybe thats the snow...

[–]wahday 1 point2 points ago

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repost!!! but still great

[–]TheDrAwkward 0 points1 point ago

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Worth it.

[–]highoctanecaffeine 0 points1 point ago

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From the old Something Awful xmas card threads?

[–]Soopafien 0 points1 point ago

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I always thought it was made in the forests of Columbia

[–]speedycat 0 points1 point ago

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Don't eat the yellow snow

[–]el_pinata 0 points1 point ago

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Amused.

[–]G-wiz76 0 points1 point ago

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Lmao. Thought this was from a child's book until the second to last line. Then the final line killed me. Ho ho ho

[–]WICM 0 points1 point ago

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I guess there is a Coke war with the Snow Angels...Maybe he should have learned to "Bob" and weave....

[–]lolsv 0 points1 point ago

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Making coke, you mean.

[–]Ebocaer 0 points1 point ago

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Gulag fairy tails.

[–]Brobeast 0 points1 point ago

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The elf rubs the snow on its skin or it gets the hose again.

[–]escape_goat 4 points5 points ago

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Different elf each time.

[–]NueDumaz 0 points1 point ago

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cool story, bro.

[–]fivedollarshirt 0 points1 point ago

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ahhhhh somethingawful comedy goldmine.

really brings me back

[–]jaspernu 0 points1 point ago

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r/elfabuse lol

[–]TTLeave 0 points1 point ago

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Good.

[–]bobbybusche -1 points0 points ago

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X-post to r/funny.

[–]anonymau5 -1 points0 points ago

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Let's repost this entire book, page by page in WTF. Turkey.

[–]downvote_for_repost -5 points-4 points ago

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hi ho repost!

[–]TheFeedski -4 points-3 points ago

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I didn't rofl... Or lol.

[–]endo -5 points-4 points ago

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Agreed. I didn't even crack a smile.