Jack and Jill

pineapplol · 1 year

You know what I've never understood, Why would a well be at the top of a hill?

Pilpecurb · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, dropped his fly and asked her "Do you wanna?"

Jill said yes, dropped her dress and they had some fun.

But Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.

ezo88 · 1 year

Jack needs to add some viagra to his bump

Technoslave · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Both with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down with two fitty.

iamthewalrus8689 · 1 year

how does the original version of Jack and Jill have a fairy tale ending, don't they both die. seems like erectile dysfunction is a better alternative to death.

Ollz · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill

so Jack could lick Jill's fanny;

Jack got a shock and a mouthfull of cock

'cos Jill's a fucking tranny!

christianjb · 1 year

Cocaine- still not as dangerous as a pail of water.

butchersblade · 1 year

So in a coked out frenzy Jack improvises with his fist

siouxsie_sioux · 1 year

who needs sex when you have coke?

WeMeetAgain · 1 year

So I started reading it to the actual tune. Didn't work.

So I tried it again. Didn't work.

Make it work, damn it!

seeen · 1 year

Two things guys like to do most when high on coke - talk and fuck - Two things guys cant do worth shit when high on coke - talk and fuck.

levilarrington · 1 year

I like how supportive she's being.

grimster · 1 year

I don't know why, but I always assumed that Jack and Jill were siblings. Which makes that story way worse.

...or way better, if that's what floats your boat.

chipschallenge · 1 year

Jack Bauer and Jill went up the hill.

Only Jack came down.

Jill was a fucking terrorist.

NancyGracesTesticles · 1 year

I'm not familiar with this as being a consequence of cocaine use. I've found it to have the opposite effect.

I guess like anything, you can do too much and not be able to get it up, but in that situation, you would have usually turned your attention to having sex instead of doing more blow before it became an issue.

bumbletowne · 1 year

This is very true.

TraverseTown · 1 year

I always imagined Jack and Jill as siblings...

M3nt0R · 1 year

I'm not sure, I know I'm against the tide here, but I've been doing drugs my whole life, and find I can't maintain erections on many of them.

Cocaine, ecstasy, alcohol, multiple pain killers, etc.

I feel amazing on them, but I couldn't have sex on them if I tried.

enjoyingtheride · 1 year

Story of my life! Swear, this is one of the main reasons I stopped that shit.

Deathmeister · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water.

I don't know what they did up there but they came down with a daughter.

WonderfullyAnon · 1 year

Jill looks like Allison Hannigan...

acman319 · 1 year

Maybe it's just me, but ever since I was young I always thought of Jack and Jill as brother and sister. All those sexual parodies just made the incestuous nature of them all the more disturbing. And now seeing this "ad" makes me wonder if I've been wrong all along assuming them to be siblings...

doomgoblin · 1 year

I understand jacks pain

TheTricksterServal · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill

so Jack could lick Jill's fanny.

Jack got a shock

and a mouthful of cock

Cos Jill's a fuckin tranny!

AmIKawaiiUguuu · 1 year

Then again there was no fairytale ending in the original fairy tale, since both Jack and Jill came tumbling down the hill, which I would imagine to be quite traumatic.

ac_slat3r · 1 year

Complete opposite.

I can't get OFF, don't have a problem getting up.

Coke + Sex = Fucking all night

Dabakus · 1 year

Hmmm, not that I would know this from...uh, personal experience. But coke tends to just give you an everlasting boner of never cumitude.

therealprotonk · 1 year

LIES! I can fuck like a motherfucker on coke.

MaidenLane · 1 year

PROTIP: Stick to the reefer, kids!

o0DrWurm0o · 1 year

TIL sex is a fairytale ending.

londoherty · 1 year

The line breaks could not stop me from keeping in rhythm. Now my brain is broked.

quelindo · 1 year

All this advertisement does is make you want to take ecstasy AND coke together. Problem solved.

orbitopus · 1 year

is that really an effect of cocaine? cause that sounds like scare tactics to me.

The-Dudemeister · 1 year

viagra.

alukima · 1 year

Is this from Fables?

TiePilot · 1 year

I have heard this said that sex on blow is like trying to put an oyster in a parking meter.

alkamist · 1 year

damn coke dick...

thewoss · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill, Jill snorted a little coke Jack smoked some weed and when Jill OD'd Jack thought it was a joke

YouBeDerping · 1 year

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

krakenking · 1 year

i can never get it up on coke, that's why i don't do coke anymore. that and the paranoia...you kids think weed paranoia is bad? coke paranoia is mental. you actually believe the cops (or your mom) are coming for you...and the cocaine crash feels like shit. hard drugs can be fun, but the fun doesn't last long. i recommend though, to try everything once. you won't get addicted if you don't want to.

i'm a weed man. cocaine is a soulless drug.

IClogToilets · 1 year

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

But

Jill prefers the candle stick.

found in my 10th grade math book

gradivus22 · 1 year

Scumbag cocaine. Makes you horny as hell, cant get a boner.

trimalchio420 · 1 year

Lol @ this urban legend. I fuck like a goddamn demon when I'm on blow

Nostalgic_Cow · 1 year

That doesn't even rhyme.

Pokeadot · 1 year

I giggled like a schoolgirl when I started reading that to the rhythm of jack and jill and it just started to fall apart

[deleted] · 1 year

I do not know anyone, nor have I heard of anyone, having problems maintaining a boner while on coke.

fixedzero · 1 year

The last time I slept with a guy on coke, there were definitely no issues with keeping his erection. For hours.

:/

AliasUndercover · 1 year

You know, I've done a lot of coke in my time, but never did it cause me to be unable to get an erection.

chocobaby · 1 year

what they don't mention is that Jack and Jill, being coke snorting pervs of the finest kind....just opened the drawer of toys, dildos, ropes, and lube, and got all kinky for 5 hours before passing out in a sea of endorphins.

creepingdeathv2 · 1 year

bullshit! i occasionally do cocaine and get erections ... also smoking causes erections to fail is also bullshit

WTF

MODERATORS

WTF

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login