869
870

Yeah, it happens. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by TamaleJohnson

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[–]Reigmame 51 points52 points ago

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Must go faster.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ChunkyLaFunga 1 point2 points ago

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Uh is a filler, not a stutter. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be, but bears saying nonetheless.

[–]zachxter 13 points14 points ago

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Relevant

[–]binarypower -3 points-2 points ago

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irrelevant

[–]toro_de_rojo 2 points3 points ago

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I believe he said "Increase your rate of run!".

[–]goetzjam 1 point2 points ago

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"Thats what she said"

Could not resist....

[–]dodahdoodoo 49 points50 points ago

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"Apparently some crooked fuckers broke into my sea lab yesterday."

[–]A_Noney_Mouse 15 points16 points ago

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Must be the same dudes

[–]Reddcapp 24 points25 points ago

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Where'd you get that espresso machine?

We fuckin stole it, man.

[–]Philosorapter 0 points1 point ago

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actually I believe it's "probably the same dudes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFehGXnuNrg&feature=related

[–]A_Noney_Mouse 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you, I haven't seen that movie in a while so I'm surprised I got "dudes" right. I'm glad you're here to clear that up for me.

[–]jgdoster 7 points8 points ago

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"Be still Cody!"

[–]vadergeek 33 points34 points ago

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Did he? I thought he just survived being kidnapped by terrorists and rescued by Bill Murray.

[–]repocode 26 points27 points ago

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We call them pirates out here.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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What's your dog's name?

[–]woofdg79 14 points15 points ago

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Cody.

[–]Raptormoses75 15 points16 points ago

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Be still cody!

[–]mikemcg 7 points8 points ago

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Be still, Cody.

[–]DonReavis 11 points12 points ago

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They never were great husbands.

[–]whiskey06 9 points10 points ago

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Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay.

[–]OverlordXenu 3 points4 points ago

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We all are.

[–]Yooo2510 6 points7 points ago

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He also had his espresso machine stolen

[–]alexlp 6 points7 points ago

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They made soup out of this research turtles.

[–]NeoSniper 6 points7 points ago

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With best rescue music ever.

[–]RogueRaven17 4 points5 points ago

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Relevent as fuck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAbvRyKVHUo

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I hear it whenever I put my wetsuit on now

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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that was right after he did some telepathic alien tentacle porn

[–]zachxter 19 points20 points ago

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twice....

[–]ShiftyBizniss 19 points20 points ago

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This is from my all-time favourite flick. Alistair Hennessey is such a pimp. And also kind of a closet queer.

[–]Carl_Wheathers 13 points14 points ago

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He admits to being part gay.

[–]Goldenrule-er 22 points23 points ago

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It's okay, I hear everyone is.

[–]OverlordXenu 1 point2 points ago*

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He has such a fantastic name.

Does it mean I'm a hipster if I want to name any future children I have after Wes Anderson characters? Dignan Oseary _____, Max Kingsley _____, Margot, Elanor, Etheline…. It's too bad that most of the wonderful names Anderson/Wilson/Bambauch come up with tend to be awesome because of their last names.

[–]rughmanchoo 3 points4 points ago

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My 2-year old's name is Royal.

[–]ShiftyBizniss 1 point2 points ago

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Raleigh Sinclair, Royal Tenenbaum, Ari Tenenbaum, Uzi Tenenbaum, Eli Cash, Pagoda...

[–]the_man_i_loved 30 points31 points ago

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NOT IN THE BOOK!

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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To be fair, Jeff Goldblum wasn't in the book.

[–]GothicFuck 20 points21 points ago

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I read the book after I had seen the movie,

therefore Jeff Goldblum was in the book.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Also to be fair, Malcolm was somewhat inexplicably back in the second book.

[–]arrjayjee 3 points4 points ago

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Crichton said Malcolm died in the end of the first book, then at the start of the second book stated that reports of Malcolm's death had been exaggerated. Made me lol.

[–]SpaceWorld 4 points5 points ago

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But still in the retcon from the second book!

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer 3 points4 points ago

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Have you read the second book?

[–]dragonsandgoblins 3 points4 points ago

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Yes, yes he did. Read the Lost World.

[–]OverlordXenu 1 point2 points ago

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For a second there I thought there was a Zissou book I didn't know about. That fleeting sense of wonder and wanting, crushed so mercilessly by the sudden realization. You suck.

[–]Dark_Shroud 0 points1 point ago

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Came here to say this.

[–]parlezmoose 0 points1 point ago

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So what? Since when is the movie supposed to be exactly the same as the book? What, are there Jurassic Park purists now?

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer 5 points6 points ago

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Yes, however the poster in question is wrong as Malcolm does indeed survive, but this isn't revealed until the second book.

[–]parlezmoose 1 point2 points ago

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My God, you are right.

[–]crackeddagger 14 points15 points ago

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AND an alien invasion!

[–]catfishjenkins 10 points11 points ago

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AND that whole turning into a fly thing.

[–]Peaches666 3 points4 points ago

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Your parents must have turned the movie off before it got too traumatizing but Brundel Fly went the way of Old Yeller.

[–]MadMaddy 8 points9 points ago

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What do you mean? He grew old and lived a long happy life with his family?

[–]bokonon909 0 points1 point ago

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I was shocked and appalled to see "Old Yeller" brand dog food being marketed recently. What are they thinking? Just created the association for me that it would make my dog rabid. Maybe you get a free shotgun with 10 proofs of purchase?

[–]belzner 4 points5 points ago

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AND forgetting his mantra!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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AND raping Death Wish's daughter.

[–]sgtpepper1990 0 points1 point ago

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AND a rogue kitty attack!

[–]Claclink 0 points1 point ago

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by uploading a computer virus onto the mothership. i wish i could put that on my resume.

[–]bokonon909 0 points1 point ago

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But not that one before with the pod-people.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 5 points6 points ago

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I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like he survived the T-Rex attack.

[–]VeryStrangeHat 5 points6 points ago

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Its true that I've never battled a T-Rex, but I have slayed hundreds of flies, and not once have my finger nails fallen off.

I say we're even.

[–]treiz 4 points5 points ago

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is this my espresso machine? how did you get my espresso machine?

[–]ShiftyBizniss 0 points1 point ago

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Well...uh.... we fuckin stole it man.

[–]excalo 1 point2 points ago

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Life...ah...finds a way.

[–]lockes 2 points3 points ago

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"Fuck Jeff Goldblum, man!"

[–]mailman449 1 point2 points ago

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i control + F'd to make sure this quote was here. well played, sir

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i also "control + F'd". this quote is always the first thing i think of when i see him

[–]trumtrumtrum 2 points3 points ago

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But he couldn't elude NTSF:SD:SUV::

[–]Forensik 2 points3 points ago

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Gotta love his laugh

[–]RogueRaven17 0 points1 point ago

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lulz!

[–]geej 1 point2 points ago

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I knew I had seen this picture before: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK1laFvlDWA

[–]random_digital 1 point2 points ago

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He survived..... however his sense of fashion was never the same.

[–]bazriver 1 point2 points ago

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"Like a sexy whooping crane". Best description ever for this man.

[–]maddyzeemak 1 point2 points ago

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and he also turned into a human sized Fly

[–]tasty_beverage 1 point2 points ago

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I just realized that those are Mark Mothersbaugh's glasses. He used to be in Devo & does the music for all of Wes Anderson's movies.

[–]nilhilustfrederi 1 point2 points ago

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He was good in The Life Aquatic and Jurassic Park, but I hated every second he was onscreen in Independence Day.

[–]bstampl1 1 point2 points ago

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Therefore, I can wear white after Labor Day, fuckers

[–]erasser999 1 point2 points ago

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How dare you speak to him.

[–]Corky_The_Guar 1 point2 points ago

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What? Jurassic Park reference? Upvote.

[–]devedander 0 points1 point ago

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He has hair...

[–]rpgguy_1o1 4 points5 points ago

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I think you might be thinking of Howie Mandel. This is Jeff Goldblum. Unless I'm missing something here...

[–]devedander 1 point2 points ago

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I think you might be right...

[–]jarvispeen 0 points1 point ago

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AND turning into a giant fly.

[–]iSmurfy 0 points1 point ago

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Similar Picture

[–]Secrete_Persona 0 points1 point ago

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Because of that movie I would probably just stand completely still if face to face with a predator. "No really, he can't see us if we don't move. Dr. Grant says so."

[–]R0nd0d 0 points1 point ago

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and an ALIEN INVASION

[–]AwesomeIncarnate 0 points1 point ago

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This is boss.

[–]harfold 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad he died in that hang-gliding accident...

[–]milleniamisc 0 points1 point ago

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wtb mirror. wont let me see image

[–]OperationJack 0 points1 point ago

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He not only survived the alien invasion, he helped destroy the aliens as well.

[–]Mikey129 0 points1 point ago

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"God damn rich cunt!" Opie and Anthony reference.

[–]Redcard911 0 points1 point ago

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I was German on NTSF:SD:SUV.

[–]nuovo_donna 0 points1 point ago

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if you ever want a good laugh, watch Annie Hall and pay close attention during the Hollywood party scene. He has a hilarious one liner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The scarf doesn't work.

[–]sonnyjay 0 points1 point ago

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Jeff Goldblum- 1 upping every survivor of a global disaster since 1993.

[–]Mr_Unknown 0 points1 point ago

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blew up an alien ship with a mac too!

[–]myeverymovment 0 points1 point ago

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was that before or after you watched everyone poop?

http://www.christopherwalkeniswatchingyoupee.com/jgiwyp/

[–]Hanguo 0 points1 point ago

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i give you a life aquatic upboat.

[–]Thunder_Bastard 0 points1 point ago

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Go watch Vibes and The Fly, and get off my lawn!

[–]ScarboroughFairgoer 0 points1 point ago

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Operation Hennessey

[–]amazingmaximo 0 points1 point ago

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Why? Water droplets on my hand.

Jeff, that doesn't make any-

CHAOS THEORY, BITCH!

[–]KeenDreams 0 points1 point ago

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Oh man, I haven't seen this Jeff Goldblum meme in ages. Good times.

[–]happygerbil 0 points1 point ago

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He was made a knight, in Portugal.

[–]comahony4420 0 points1 point ago

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did any one else see ol Jeffy jam on the piano at Coachella? he played jazz and sang the rules of the festival for like 30 minutes. so freakin weird / mesmerizing

[–]Chadman108 0 points1 point ago

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and aliens...?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I read that in his voice.

[–]kabukistar 0 points1 point ago

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...and then went on to make Mac switch ads.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 0 points1 point ago

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...and that scarf

[–]Bobviously 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, but he forgot his mantra, though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Considering that a T-Rex IRL cannot outrun a human by any stretch of the imagination due to its structure, this isn't that great of an accomplishment

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

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Be still, Cody!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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...and spray painted a maid's ass.

/Death Wish

[–]MistaKurtz 0 points1 point ago

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"Cunts!!! I kill rich cunts!!!" ~ Death Wish

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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Want to know why?

The trex had bones that were equipped to grab onto huge hunks of flesh and them rip them off a body. They were not able to chew very well. So when this guy was bit the t rex is used to jerking his head away to get the flesh and would have just thrown the man like a doll. That is then assuming the dinosaur let go for some reason

[–]landlordlou 0 points1 point ago

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who's down for a petition to make sure he's in Jurassic Park 4?

[–]Indoorsman 0 points1 point ago

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He needs to be an unlockable costume in BF3.

[–]kturtle11 0 points1 point ago

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He also did Apple commercials drunk!

[–]hieagie 0 points1 point ago

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But he died as a fly.

[–]Smeagol1123 0 points1 point ago

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Have a downvote because that is not Ian Malcolm.

[–]CARVERitUP 0 points1 point ago

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...Correction. He survived 3, arguably 4.

  1. first movie
  2. second movie, trailer over cliff scene
  3. second movie, huge mob of people chased through jungle by rex scene
  4. second movie, rex in San Diego

[–]BigBOSSAlak 0 points1 point ago

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What man? Fuck Jeff Goldblum.

[–]mystery_guest 0 points1 point ago

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I had a persistent crush on Jeff Goldblum that began sometime in middle school (when I went to see Jurassic Park in the movie theater ... THIRTEEN TIMES), and continues, in a milder fashion, to this day.

The other night, I told my husband about a dream I had. I was looking back on my life, and my biggest regret? I never got to meet Jeff Goldblum.

God, I was a weird kid. I'm a weird adult, too.

[–]idpeeinherbutt 0 points1 point ago

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TIL Jeff Goldblum was the inspiration for Gru in despicable me.

[–]skyfire23 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why but I fucking love Jeff Goldblum. Talk about a huge man crush. Probably has to do with the T-rex chase scene though. I actually liked him in Law and Order:CI too.

[–]RockySprinkles 0 points1 point ago

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"Our team is red hot! Your team ain't doodly squat!"

[–]samban 0 points1 point ago

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POOR CODY :(

[–]RandomAznGuy 0 points1 point ago

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I thought he died from an unfortunate filming accident in New Zealand sometime ago.

[–]ajw827 0 points1 point ago

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I used to have such the hots for Dr. Malcolm. So tall and that sexy side walking.

[–]TheAlgebraist 0 points1 point ago

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Half the time I think this guy is the shit... half the time I feel like I should lock my doors and put up some sort of protective ward against his penetratingly cold gaze shudder

[–]oscar2001 0 points1 point ago

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And drove the Top Gear track in 3rd gear.

[–]kmmgreen5 0 points1 point ago

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God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum becomes God.

[–]1WithTwo -5 points-4 points ago

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"Man, a tiger attacked me today, but luckily I got away" "Oh yeah? Well I was attacked by a T-Rex!" "Didn't that come way before our time?" "Yeah..." "You fucking hipster!"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The Life Aquatic is probably my favorite movie of all time.

[–]goldegl -4 points-3 points ago

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http://i.imgur.com/BtXs2.jpg

[–]thumper242 0 points1 point ago

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WUT?

[–]xamox -1 points0 points ago

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I thought Jobs had cancer, pffft, looking good to me.

[–]l30 -1 points0 points ago

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HIS GLASSES HAVE NO LENSES!

[–]Rocket919[!] -3 points-2 points ago

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douche