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all 89 comments

[–]babiesloveboobies 39 points40 points ago

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Sounds like you'll never experience the thrill of hiding naked in a closet.

[–]Antrikshy 11 points12 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Mr_robasaurus 5 points6 points ago

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Or my personal favorite, jumping out onto their roof through the window.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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the memories! MAKE THEM STOP it was so CRAMPED!

[–]CommunistAccounts 168 points169 points ago

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PUNJABI SWORD FIGHT

[–]SphericalArc 74 points75 points ago

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I've officially spent too much time on reddit.

[–]Mr_robasaurus 6 points7 points ago

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I was thinking the same thing.

I was like oh I know what that... fuck.

[–]AtTheLeftThere 96 points97 points ago

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I remember being 15.

[–]lerxstlifeson 64 points65 points ago

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The fact that you call making love "Pop Pop" tells me that you are not ready.

[–]Second_Foundationeer 3 points4 points ago

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But i was just showing her some moves from the bum paddle courts, i swear!!

[–]Th3Marauder 0 points1 point ago

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All you need is smiles, smiles, smiles!

[–]zobbyblob -2 points-1 points ago

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fades out

I remember when my mom walked in on my girlfriend and i making out while i was feeling her up...

fades in, checks time

that was only a few hours ago!

[–]bamb00zled 49 points50 points ago

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WHY ARE YOU SPOONING WHILE WATCHING TV

SWEAR TO GOD IF I FIND STAINS

[–]alittlelady 14 points15 points ago

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this is exactly the reason why my doorknob "broke" just before my boyfriend is coming to see me today, now it only works to open it from the inside.

sneaky teen is sneaky.

[–]dcss 6 points7 points ago

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giggity

[–]alittlelady 0 points1 point ago

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Let's just say that I had a very good time yesterday

parents thought he was teaching me "magic: the gathering", too bad they don't know that I already know how to play it. Instead le sexy time

[–]dcss 0 points1 point ago

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Jealous.

[–]shitty_story 17 points18 points ago

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Having sex with my girlfriend on her bed. Look out window above bed. See her father cutting wood with an axe. Whimper but continue.

[–]DrunkenHero 21 points22 points ago

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He sees you and you both maintain eye contact until you finish.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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You gain +5 agility

[–]TurdFurgoson 23 points24 points ago

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At least you didn't bring bees. They don't allow bees in there.

[–]sweetdoo 30 points31 points ago

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beads?

[–]BlameArticuno 22 points23 points ago

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Gob's not on board.

[–]letsRACEturtles -4 points-3 points ago

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beads?

[–]Th3Marauder 5 points6 points ago

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So close!

[–]ThePancakeMan 26 points27 points ago

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And when her parents are not there/watching...

TOUCH ALL THE BODY PARTS!

[–]DPErny 13 points14 points ago

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I don't even go to my girlfriend's house for PRECISELY THIS REASON.

[–]TropicalBlend 29 points30 points ago

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I don't even have a girlfriend for PRECISELY THIS REASON.

[–]zaurav 1 point2 points ago

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I don't even... PRECISELY THIS REASON.

[–]Russz -4 points-3 points ago

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I have a girlfriend for PRECISELY THIS REASON.

[–]Miley_Cyrax 25 points26 points ago

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For PRECISELY THIS GIRLFRIEND I have a reason.

[–]Yolanda_Be_Cool 26 points27 points ago

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There's always money in my banana stand, baby.

[–]BrBReddit 23 points24 points ago

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He's talking about his penis, guys.

[–]dustyjuicebox 10 points11 points ago

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oh is that what it was? I was so confused. Thanks :D

[–]ENKC 5 points6 points ago

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Come on!

[–]vortex117 3 points4 points ago

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That was about a 6 there, you don't want to see him go to 10.

[–]shakeandblakee 0 points1 point ago

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I'd love to see you try to penetrate me again.

[–]mrdrsmashington123 6 points7 points ago

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Hey campers.

[–]heavymetalpancakes 14 points15 points ago

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I DON'T WANT NO PART OF YOUR JIVE-ASS COUNTRY CLUB, YOU FREAK BITCH!

[–]AKAPostman 7 points8 points ago

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[–]mxmm 2 points3 points ago

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This is how George Michael feels whenever his aunt and uncle are back at the model home.

[–]toomuchtime11 2 points3 points ago

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You whine 'em and dine 'em, but you don't let them tell you what to do!

[–]pongjinn 1 point2 points ago

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Okay... I never should have taken the pumps out of here.

[–]MosEisleyCantona 1 point2 points ago

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What a whiner.

[–]lutetapper 2 points3 points ago

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Just convert to Judaism and they'll back off after they say "No touching" if you stare 'em down.

[–]DiscoRage 1 point2 points ago

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No batter. No batter... shhh... no... no batter.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Is it just me or is he singing the trance music back to me?

[–]never_phear_for_phoe 1 point2 points ago

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Where is this from?

[–]Squealio 4 points5 points ago

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Arrested Development! I just started watching the series two days ago - this is from episode 2 or 3. So it's even new to me!

[–]ShinshinRenma 4 points5 points ago

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You have been missing out my friend.

[–]never_phear_for_phoe 0 points1 point ago

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Cool, thank you :)

[–]heavymetalpancakes 1 point2 points ago

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But hey, at least there's ice cream sandwich, right?

[–]George-Bluth 1 point2 points ago

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There's a very strict 'no touching policy' here...

[–]Crazy_likeafox 1 point2 points ago

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And when they're not...

More touching!

[–]Klush 1 point2 points ago

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Oh I remember that age. We were fucking ninjas when it came to peeling off each other and moving to opposite sides of the fucking room before cockblock parents finished opening the door.

Oh yeah. And no closing doors 99% of the time. And your younger sibling(s) have to be in the room with you guys.

[–]zgh5002 1 point2 points ago

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I don't give a shit, I'll show my affection when I damn well please. I'm not going to fuck their daughter in front of them, but if I want to put my arm around her or kiss her, I will.

[–]The-Dudemeister 1 point2 points ago

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Not the case here. In fact, my girlfriends mother is the most perverted person I know.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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How old I felt when clicking on this link

[–]Antrikshy 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, I'll get off your lawn.

[–]demondays 3 points4 points ago

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God, I fucking hate cock block parents. My parents were, and so were my first girlfriend's parents. They are the scum of the earth and inevitably give their kids a sense of low self esteem and instill a sense of undeserved shame when their kids are about to explode from the horny angst that characterizes youth. It's like grabbing a desperately starving African child's first chocolate bar and crushing it with your feet before their sunken eyes.

[–]ShinshinRenma 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, but kids make some stupid fucking decisions about who they should be dating early in life. Since it's not always easy to tell your kids that they could sleep with their last partner, but their new partner is an asshole and so it would be a bad idea, the simplest thing to do is to cock block for a time.

[–]Skyy_High 4 points5 points ago

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More like grabbing a raw, possibly disease-infected steak out of their hands and telling them maybe they should wait until they know how to cook it before they shovel it down their gullet.

Pretty terrible analogy, but so is yours. Sex is not vital to life (unlike, say, food), teenage life is not all that bad (it's just the hardest life you've experienced up to that point), if sex is the only thing saving you from a terrible self image then sex isn't going to help the problem, and generally parents are just remembering their own stupid fucking decisions and trying to help you avoid making the same stupid fucking decisions. Hormones are running roughshod over your pubescent brain; in point of fact, you literally do not know what's best for you, and when said hormones really get revving you probably wouldn't care even if you did know. You are your parents' responsibility until you turn 18. After that, do whatever stupid fucking thing you want to do, but before then, maybe possibly try to listen to the people who have been on this Earth for 2-3x as long as you.

Christ, I hate kids whining about parents...yeah, some parents don't know wtf they're doing, and some tell you to do stupid things. Telling you to not have sex with everything you see as a horny teenager is not one of those things.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Haha, thats very good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I miss that feeling.

[–]Squealio 0 points1 point ago

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hahah....I get it because I just watched that (yes for the first time) yesterday! I'm getting caught up at life here...

[–]FuzzyKaos 0 points1 point ago

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You feel like you are a dirty old man?

[–]vicodin313 0 points1 point ago

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For a split second I thought that was Voldemort

[–]botsoloty 0 points1 point ago

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That's what blankets are for...you can fool around under them while their parents are in the same room. If she starts to moan, you better stop though. Especially if her dad owns guns.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I hate it when my girlfriend's parents get all touchy on me, too.

[–]Blindfirekiller 0 points1 point ago

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I JUST started watching AD a few hours ago..

Nice timing.. xD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Both my girlfriends kept their relationship with me a secret, so when I visited their parents house I was "just a friend."

[–]benbrooks 0 points1 point ago

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they knew

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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They probably didn't, as those girlfriends were simultaneous and engaged to each other.

[–]made2last -2 points-1 points ago

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Always money in the banana stand

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]nvrwastetree 2 points3 points ago

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MORE TOUCHING!!!!!

[–]whut -3 points-2 points ago

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I remember being 12