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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]bpwnz 454 points455 points ago

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Turns out she just had to plug it in.

[–]PooPooDooDoo 250 points251 points ago

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Turns out she was trying to print from the toaster.

[–]sourcefag 228 points229 points ago

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[–]dated_reference 31 points32 points ago

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[–]fjw 4 points5 points ago

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That is an awesome toaster and surprisingly relevant to a discussion on printers.

[–]digitalundernet 1 point2 points ago

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[–]lexical_gap 1 point2 points ago

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[–]kirakun 1 point2 points ago

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It would have been really funny too if the picture actually shows a toaster under the car.

[–]iownalaptop 836 points837 points ago

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Using your mom for karma. Well played sir.

[–]seriouslyawesome[S] 620 points621 points ago

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Worth it.

[–][deleted] 1520 points1521 points ago

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Looks like that printer had a...

...driver failure.

[–]StolenLampy 409 points410 points ago

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YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[–]YYYEEEAAAHHH 453 points454 points ago

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GOD DAMMIT!!!

It's not fair! I'm the worst novelty account ever.

No YYYEEEAAAHHH for jakucha ... :(

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 17 points18 points ago

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No outside for jakucha.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Work late, come come to reddit, get sent away for understanding a joke. No reddit for jakucha.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Keep this link on you for next time.

[–]MgenGlder 109 points110 points ago

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Excuse me sir, I believe you dropped these sunglasses.

[–]DanielBG 150 points151 points ago

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\▄-▄/

[–]statikuz 75 points76 points ago

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(╯°□°)╯︵ /▀-▀\ ?

[–]Sallix 192 points193 points ago

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(╯▀-▀)╯ ︵ ʇı ɥʇıʍ ןɐǝp

[–]IsaacBrock 28 points29 points ago

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I'm too high right now for this wizardry. haha

[–]Caruso_Judge 18 points19 points ago*

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Solid form

made sense.

and you waited for someone one to say YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH Unfortunately the sunglasses were dropped so it was going great until the ending.

Edit: grammar

7.5/10

[–]fjw 14 points15 points ago

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and you waited someone one to YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH Unfortunately the sunglasses were dropped so it was going great until the ending.

Edit: grammar

Did you just edit in a grammar mistake?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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It was really cloudy today.

[–]L4RiVi3R3 1 point2 points ago

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Redditor for 1 month and 19 days

I'll allow it.

[–]major_fail 1 point2 points ago

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Boom tish. "I will be here all night"

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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This brings new meanings to karma whore

[–]The_Referentialist 87 points88 points ago

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You know WHO ELSE uses your mom for karma?

...

MY MOM!!!

[–]That1OtherKid 36 points37 points ago

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High-Five!

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[–]BonePwns13 1 point2 points ago

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…Idiots.

[–]The_Referentialist 1 point2 points ago

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Like a GHOST!

[–]FOR_SClENCE 1 point2 points ago

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The first Regular Show reference I've seen outside of a RS thread.

WOOOOOOO Waves arm in circles

[–]AOneArmedHobo 8 points9 points ago

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Better than what I used her for!

[–]usernine9 276 points277 points ago

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Does she kiss her son with that mouth? Sheesh.

[–]PortableSheep 201 points202 points ago

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My mother and I speak worse than that to each other... works out just fine, except she's not really the best kisser.

[–]ImNotJesus 65 points66 points ago

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You think so? What about that thing she does with her tongue?

[–]raspy_wilhelm_scream 86 points87 points ago

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Less of a kiss, more of a job.

[–]ImNotJesus 4 points5 points ago

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Don't say that! I like kissing her, it's not a job.

[–]farfle10 1 point2 points ago

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i love when she does that

[–]SystemOutPrintln 13 points14 points ago

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How I leaned most of the swear words I know? My mom and me one-upping each other on swear words (obviously an arbitrary hierarchy was developed). The game ended when somebody said cunt.

[–]Detached09 4 points5 points ago

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Is there anything better/worse in the English language?

[–]yammys 15 points16 points ago

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moist.

[–]leathergiggle 3 points4 points ago

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Gash or thrust?

[–]callmelucky 5 points6 points ago

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Hairy axe-wound.

[–]superfusion1 1 point2 points ago

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yeah, conversations and arguments usually come to a screeching halt when the word "cunt" is mentioned.

[–]finkalicious 56 points57 points ago

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She also sucks his father's cock with it.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

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No she's doesn't. They are married.

[–]Epinephrine123 21 points22 points ago

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The truth about being married -_-

[–]ILIKECAKE 10 points11 points ago

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part of why I am divorced lol

[–]kaydubbleu 12 points13 points ago

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I upvoted all of you out of pity, my wife is the best!

[–]funkypenquin 16 points17 points ago

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I agree!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]NoHelmet 5 points6 points ago

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Really? Everyone I know found that movie amusing.

[–]Koontay 8 points9 points ago

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No, you're thinking of "Meet the Fockers". "Meet the Fuckers" is a porno.

[–]NoHelmet 1 point2 points ago

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My mistake. Only my mom found that one amusing.

[–]aggrazel 238 points239 points ago

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Die muthafuckas, die muthafuckas still fool

[–]EmAreDubs 175 points176 points ago

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BACK UP IN YO ASS WITH THE RESURRECTION

[–]nickst 33 points34 points ago

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IS THE GROUP HARDER THAN AN ERECTION THAT SHOWS NO AFFECTION

[–]philadelphia-collins 7 points8 points ago

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THEY WANNA BAN US ON CAPITAL HILL

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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Let me get in on this...

Darn, it feels good to be a gangster.

[–]NothingsShocking 118 points119 points ago

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Darn? did you just say Darn, it feels good to be a gangster?

[–]aiowen 75 points76 points ago

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Golly gee willikers, I believe he did!

[–]CaspianX2 34 points35 points ago

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Well, shucks, he's just tryin' to keep it real.

[–]space_goat 20 points21 points ago

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He's gonna end up on the next episode of "when keeping it real goes wrong"

[–]mcreeves 7 points8 points ago*

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Acquire Wealth or Perish Attempting

[–]OGWillikers 3 points4 points ago

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This isn't even a novelty account I have here... yet the raps fit so I'm posting.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I'm not a rapper.

[–]EntroperZero 4 points5 points ago

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Shit, I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' somethin' like that, man.

[–]fatbatman 15 points16 points ago

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gangsters say the darndest things

[–]LadyFaceHead 2 points3 points ago

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Shocking. Isn't it?

[–]isotope123 102 points103 points ago*

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Save yourself the hassle, don't buy new (circa 2005 or so) HP or Lexmark printers. The quality is garbage and they charge outrageous amounts for next to no ink. Don't get me wrong, all printers are shit these days, but you'll be much happier with either a Canon, Brother, or maybe Epson.

edit: see above, "all printers are shit these days".

[–]epsilona01 101 points102 points ago

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Ink? Toner, my friend is the best way to go. Especially if you rarely print, ink goes dry whereas toner started off that way. Mono lasers are <$100 these days, color isn't too bad either.

[–]szaero 41 points42 points ago

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I bought a Samsung B&W laser from newegg last week for $35 shipped. It even has Wifi.

[–]RVelts 13 points14 points ago

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Link? This is a deal I want.

[–]szaero 12 points13 points ago

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It's expired now, out of stock and back up to $75.

Keep an eye on slickdeals.net in the Hot Deals section, deals like this happen all the time.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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75 is still a good deal.

[–]feimin 1 point2 points ago

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I bought a Samsung colour laser off of Amazon.co.uk for £99 shipped.

[–]Boston_Jason 14 points15 points ago

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Looking at my Brother HL-5370DW right next to me. I think I get 5000 pages out of this $15 toner cart.

[–]stufff 20 points21 points ago

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I have that same model and a year and a half later I'm still on the toner cart that came with it.

Probably 90% of total pages printed are test pages from my cat standing on the button though.

[–]BlazmoIntoWowee 19 points20 points ago

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Business cat has a lot of reports to print.

[–]NiceJobSkinny 1 point2 points ago

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Paw prints perhaps?

[–]Daniel15 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, agreed. I've got a Samsung ML-2010 and it's pretty nice. A lot faster than any inkjet printer I've ever had, too.

[–]redor[!] 1 point2 points ago

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This. I bought a $29 HP Laser 4 years ago and I have yet to replace the toner.

[–]Airazz 21 points22 points ago

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I have an old-ish Epson. The noise levels of that thing could be compared to a pair of trains crashing into each other at full speed. Oh, and both trains are full of metal buckets, bowling balls and empty tin cans.

[–]NeededANewName 33 points34 points ago

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I would not recommend Brother. My roommate's Brother all-in-one can't scan with low ink. SCAN! Fuck any company that makes a product like that with a very large stick.

[–]isotope123 17 points18 points ago

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If the print heads in the printer heat up with no ink over them they will overheat and break. It's a safety feature.

[–]StoneBone 22 points23 points ago

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Why the hell would it warm up the printer heads for a scan-job? Is it completely necessary?

[–]isotope123 35 points36 points ago

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I never said it was a smart design.

[–]RelationshipCreeper 6 points7 points ago

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They make it with a large stick? Sounds like their manufacturing needs a rehaul.

[–]BosonTheClown 1 point2 points ago

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My Canon won't let you do anything when any of the cartridges are out of ink. Maybe there's a way around that, but I haven't found it yet.

[–]hobbit6 7 points8 points ago

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As an HP employee I...have to agree.

[–]BenderRodriquez 9 points10 points ago

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At least HP still prints and scans when it runs out of ink. MOTHERFUCKING EPSON REFUSES TO SCAN WHEN IT'S OUT OF CYAN!!!

[–]foreverwithcats 4 points5 points ago

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Could have used to this information before I ordered my super expensive HP super-delxue-photo-scanner-printer-extravaganza a couple years ago. It's a legendary piece of shit.

[–]I_am_Bob 7 points8 points ago

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I have a bother printer. Runs out in super fast and you have to buy all the color cartridges as a pack at around $70. Also run out of cyan but only need to print black? TOO FUCKING BAD, printer won't let you print till you replace the cartridge.

[–]isotope123 8 points9 points ago

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Same thing with 4-cartridge set ups from any other company.

[–]beanchan[!] 1 point2 points ago

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bother printer

Exactly.

[–]Jahonay 6 points7 points ago

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Don't buy from HP in general. I learned my lesson when I bought a vista only pc. Terrible decision.

[–]dragoneye 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pretty sure I bought the last semi-decent HP multifunction in 2007. Every one since then has been of the, "You've printed 10 pages with this cartridge, I refuse to work anymore." type. Mine at least lets you run the ink cartridge out until there is no ink left in it.

I don't think there is any inkjet printers out there worth buying anymore.

[–]Weequay2 1 point2 points ago*

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you'll be much happier with either a Canon, Brother, or maybe Epson.

Just here to say that smearing my shit on a piece of paper is a more effective form of communication than printing with the epson I have. In the rare event that it does work, it eats through expensive ink unbelievably fast and it won't do ANYTHING (not even scan things) if one of the cartridges is empty. Fuck epson right up the ass. Useless thing sits in the corner now, maybe I should run it over too.

[–]zinc55 1 point2 points ago

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My Canon printer is quite nice. And functional. So, nice. For a printer.

[–]dreamendDischarger 1 point2 points ago

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Ink: get remanufactured stuff. My company buys from 123inkcartridges and Monoprice to resell. We very rarely have customers claim the ink doesn't work with their printer.

Of course you have to not give a damn about the warranty on your printer - some companies will void warranty on remanufactured ink, but I figure if you pay $90 for a printer it isn't worth the money to ship it off to get fixed.

Also a full set of Brother ink for $25 isn't bad. =3

[–]bigsphinxofquartz 1 point2 points ago

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A thousand times yes. My experience bears this out. I've gone through a million HP headaches, turned Canon, and never looked back.

[–]HelterSkeletor 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, any all in one or inkjet printer is garbage unless it costs $2500+.

Go get yourself a laser printer, colour if you really need it (you'll find that you rarely print colour and it is more cost effective to go to Kinkos or whatever to do that).

Inkjet printers are intentionally crippled to make you pay out the ass for ink, the end.

[–]IzeBerg 79 points80 points ago

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your mom is very vulgar...i bet she is a freak in bed.

[–]ronintetsuro 39 points40 points ago

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Verified. I even showed up dressed as HP Tech Support.

Would role play again.

[–]Revonottelevised 6 points7 points ago

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She is

[–]dclowd9901 23 points24 points ago

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I used to sell printers for HP, and I feel it necessary to let her know that she should be using HP-brand tires to run over that printer,

[–]damnclem 64 points65 points ago

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I want to be your brother.

[–]bpwnz 99 points100 points ago

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I want to be his epson

[–]generic83 64 points65 points ago

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I canon believe you said that.

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points ago

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Hewlett this guy in?

[–]nevon 69 points70 points ago

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Lexmark this day in our calendars, so we remember never to make a printer pun thread again.

[–]generic83 37 points38 points ago

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It was a kodak moment for sure.

[–]SeriouslyDave 34 points35 points ago

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Oki guys, that's enough

[–]mtg3037 13 points14 points ago

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Seriously, Dave?

[–]SeriouslyDave 19 points20 points ago

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I wish I could search my responses to show you how many people say that to me...

[–]opie2 16 points17 points ago

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I'm afraid you can't do that, Dave.

[–]seriouslyawesome[S] 26 points27 points ago

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Seriously; awesome.

[–]SeriouslyDave 21 points22 points ago

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I like you.

[–]A-punk 8 points9 points ago

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My laptops battery lasts about 35 seconds. As soon as I'm not dirt fucking poor I'm putting it on a catapult and shooting it into the Atlantic Ocean with sticks of dynamite.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]attomsk 9 points10 points ago

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I wish my mom did this instead of making me fix all her computer problems.

[–]Csoltis 18 points19 points ago

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FORD "ESC" TO THE RESCUE!

[–]YouMad 6 points7 points ago

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Printers are all a scam. That free printer takes $50 cartridges and only prints 50 sheets before running out.

I can't believe with a free market, there isn't a single decent Printer Maker out there that makes the "Japanese Cars" of printers.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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[–]chmod666 29 points30 points ago

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"PC" stands for "paper cassette", the tray that holds blank paper for the printer to use. "Load", in this context, is an instruction to refill the paper tray. "Letter" is the standard paper size used in the United States and Canada. Thus, the error is instructing the user to refill the paper tray with letter-sized paper.

[–]jasenlee 33 points34 points ago

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If it said "Feed Me Paper" no one would wonder what the hell that meant.

[–]chmod666 3 points4 points ago*

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[–]SwissCanuck 10 points11 points ago

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downvote for ruining the retro joke with logic and truth.

[–]galileo1 16 points17 points ago

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It makes me sad that 1999 can now be considered "retro."

[–]codered1322 1 point2 points ago

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Holy shit I never knew it was a real error.

[–]mjc1027 4 points5 points ago

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I can imagine her working tech support for HP 'sure I can help you fix that sir, no problem. first unplug the printer from the power and computer, then take printer out into your driveway, last step is to run the fucking thing over, and go buy a Kodak printer'.

[–]lampost86 27 points28 points ago

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Whose mother swears like that?

[–]Aikidi 24 points25 points ago

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No one has something the size of a baby pass through their reproductive organs without learning a thing or two about curse words.

[–]MamaGrr 23 points24 points ago

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I don't fucking know.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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People whos kids are over the age of 17....

[–]DanielBG 14 points15 points ago

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Same mother who demolishes a printer with a car.

[–]dietotaku 8 points9 points ago

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mine, my ex's, and every awesome mom ever.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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you seem sheltered.

[–]funkypenquin 2 points3 points ago

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Um....if she were that prudish she never would have leveled Up to mommy status.

[–]Geographer 39 points40 points ago

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Why should I care if it's your first post?

[–]OnTheEveOfWar 3 points4 points ago

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The printer will get its revenge by staining your driveway cyan, magenta, yellow, and black.

[–]quantumpsych 2 points3 points ago

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HP is garbage. every piece of their gear has been a major disappointment for me.

[–]not28 3 points4 points ago

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Their office-grade laserjets are nice. The consumer lines are garbage, though.

[–]helloimnice 3 points4 points ago

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Not that it ruins it, but I feel like it would have been funnier without the LOL face. Still humorous though!

[–]DumbSillyBaby 6 points7 points ago

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Putting that "lol" face on the last picture is as bad putting a laugh track on it. Did you think we wouldn't understand why it was funny?

[–]hogesjzz30 2 points3 points ago

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Huh, I have that printer, it's been pretty good so far, only paid £25 for it though so not expecting great things!

[–]concussedYmir 2 points3 points ago

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IT professional here.

This is the correct way to handle this situation.

[–]b1untman 2 points3 points ago

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And you know your mom was blasting gangster music Office Space style.

[–]tamb 2 points3 points ago

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Everyone who works for the HP printer division should be executed in the most painful way possible.

[–]all_is_one 2 points3 points ago

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Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!

[–]bakerface22 2 points3 points ago

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I threw that exact printer across the room into a wall! Love your mom!!!

[–]mootwo 2 points3 points ago

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Your mother has a pottymouth.

[–]12blackrainbows 7 points8 points ago

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OP, I don't know if you've realized this yet or not.... But your Mom is fucking awesome.

[–]foreverwithcats 5 points6 points ago

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I wish my mom did cool stuff like this. She would just keep that printer for years convinced she could fix it if she called customer service enough.

[–]curethiscancer 2 points3 points ago

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Your mom fixed the fuck out of that printer!

[–]Lunatic721 5 points6 points ago

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The funny thing is it probably works better now.

[–]freekstyle 1 point2 points ago

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I have that fucking printer and it sucks dick.

[–]Paranoid_Freak 1 point2 points ago

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I had the same printer, the piece of shit wouldn't accept new color ink cartridges, burn them all in the fires of hell.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I think I'm going to start a business selling 1999 "vintage" Epson printers to Hipsters. Who's in?

[–]yodawg8000 1 point2 points ago*

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Printers are asking for it. I'd already smashed 2 of my inkjets by the time I saw Office Space.

[–]MorningLtMtn 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant: Read the reviews from Amazon on this terrible, terrible printer:

http://www.amazon.com/HP-Officejet-Wireless-CN547A-B1H/dp/B0036TGGJG/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

[–]3HourLineForSanta 1 point2 points ago

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I hope she saved the ink! Worth it's weight in gold!

[–]bL1Nd 1 point2 points ago

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ZOOM ENHANCE ON THE LIGHT I SEE HIS MOTHER!! BROWN HAIR PARTED DOWN THE MIDDLE.

[–]squigs 1 point2 points ago

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Having tried sorting out an HP printer recently, I agree that this is the only way to eliminate all the problems.

[–]flip66 1 point2 points ago

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Typical user error.

[–]Difesa 1 point2 points ago

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First world problems, eh?

[–]sheboygan 1 point2 points ago

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Seriously though... why is every single home printer ever made a stupid piece of shit that doesn't fucking do what it's supposed to?

[–]Plutoid 1 point2 points ago

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The ONLY WAY to post text conversations - With pics (to show it happened.)

[–]jorsiem 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Zackariah 1 point2 points ago

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Fake. the only thing a mom should be fixing is a sandwich

[–]DadWasntYourMoms1st 1 point2 points ago

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Dude your mom is fucking nuts

[–]diarrhea666 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, FUCK that printer. I actually paid for one of these, and it worked 3 times before taking a shit. I have seen that model at nearly every thrift store i've been in recently. I still need a printer...def not buying an HP.

[–]cloudspit 1 point2 points ago

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First world problems?

[–]epidemicz 1 point2 points ago

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Did she try turning it off and back on again?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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that's a good start, but I think using it as a mace is better

[–]stafram 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant; He did this to himself

[–]nothingtodo225 1 point2 points ago

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I know that printer. It was such an amazing piece of shit.

[–]Sheldy13 1 point2 points ago

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Friends don't let friends buy HP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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its 2011 and printers are still utter SHIT!

[–]Clayburn 1 point2 points ago

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I have that printer/scanner/copier. It is complete crap. The paper auto-load thing never works right, and it's wireless, but you have to plug in to install, and it installs the wired version by default and then gets confused with the 2nd wireless version, and you can't change the wireless settings unless you plug in if you can't already connect wirelessly.

Fuck HP.

[–]greenways 1 point2 points ago

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best usage of a printer I've ever seen.

[–]Threadmonkey 1 point2 points ago

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Why not recycle it or give it away if you're going to trash it?

I am sure the printer learned its lesson though

[–]ViscountShiningWit 1 point2 points ago

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I have that printer, it's awesome. F4580 right?

[–]FiniteBlank 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for adding the LOL face, I wouldn't have known I was suppose to laugh if you hadn't. It's the laugh track of the internet.

[–]zvoidx 1 point2 points ago

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First post/top of the front page?

Proof that the game is rigged.

[–]soaringrooster 1 point2 points ago

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I love your mom, but how's the tire?

[–]tsuichii 1 point2 points ago

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Sadly, it doesn't matter if it is free. HP driver sucks. Not to mention they force you to install their malwares along with the driver.

[–]shred1 1 point2 points ago

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I literally smashed my old Hp printer with a small sledge hammer. It felt so good.That printer had it coming for years.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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My mum ran over our Wii with the car; It still works

[–]NoamChimpsky 1 point2 points ago

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I have rage destroyed 2 free printers in my life. Under no circumstances do I consider the hassle or the expensive replacement cartridges as "FREE!"

When I bought a new desktop a few years ago it also came with a "free" printer. I told the sales guy I didn't want it. He didn't understand. I told him I absolutely wasn't going to take it. He looked hurt and confused. Fine, I took the damn thing, planning to pass it off like a monkey's paw on some poor schmuck. At the register, the clerk politely informed me that the free fucking printer didn't come with a free fucking USB cord, and would I like to fucking buy one for 20 fucking dollars? FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]deralte 1 point2 points ago

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fake all over

[–]kingconorisking 1 point2 points ago

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This voids the warranty.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I got a p.o.s. Brother printer that runs out of ink after 2 to 4 pages. No joke, it uses ink for self checks, and constantly runs self checks. Worst part is printer itself cost $56.00 new the replacement ink cartridges are $100 (4 x $25). I quit buying ink for it years ago. I only keep it for the scanner; otherwise, it would have met the same fate.

[–]redmetal64 1 point2 points ago

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Did you try turning it off and on?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This kills the printer.

[–]zmeefy 1 point2 points ago

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Wow this is retarded