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[–]hojumoju 375 points376 points ago

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[–]newname5 414 points415 points ago

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I don't get this, it's like we've gone backwards. We went from silent movies, to actual videos - and now all the damn videos are broken back down into silent movie gifs.

[–]metalcupcakes 207 points208 points ago

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It's basically because people can't access youtube at work.

[–]immattaworka 77 points78 points ago

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funnily enough, i can't access imgur at work, but can access youtube.

[–]Softcorps_dn 40 points41 points ago*

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use this URL:

http://kageurufu.net/imgur/?

take the image name (ie 7Nanx.gif from http://i.imgur.com/7Nanx.gif) and put it after the question mark like so

http://kageurufu.net/imgur/?7Nanx.gif

The only downside of this is you can't right click > save the images this way, and you can only view individual images, not albums.

[–]FLarsen 8 points9 points ago

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He should probably try filmot.com first. It's a little simpler.

[–]The_MAZZTer 5 points6 points ago

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imgur is not blocked for me, but that site is. Good job.

[–]btdubs 9 points10 points ago

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Same here. There would be a massive uproar at work if they blocked youtube, but I'm pretty sure I'm one of the few people who even noticed they blocked imgur.

[–]iamjack 34 points35 points ago

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I actually like gifs because they automatically have subtitles if there are words. I don't need to fetch my headphones or whatever just to catch three lines of dialogue from a show I've already seen.

[–]That_Guy_on_Reddit 22 points23 points ago

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But did you know you can enable sound on these GIFs?

[–]ThatOneBoy 35 points36 points ago

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Did you know you can disable sound on videos?

I don't know where I'm going with this...

[–]BowlingisnotNam 13 points14 points ago

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Sound without video: Its the next step!

[–]sonar1 10 points11 points ago

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plays silent film piano music

[–]MetalMrHat 1 point2 points ago

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When I tried to upload a clip from Always sunny it got blocked instantly, what's the trick?

[–]marvelgirl 4 points5 points ago

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Usually people mirror the video. Or flip it or whatever you computer expeers say these days.

[–]makeskidskill 193 points194 points ago

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Back in my day (mid 90s) a 20 something who knew what the Internet was couldn't leave the house without being offered a dozen good paying IT jobs! They had recruiters that would fight over who got to suck your dick and pay you $25 an hour!

I miss those days...

[–]bawzonurjaw 84 points85 points ago

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I was a part of those days, well the end of them. 2 years out of highschool, as soon as I turned 18,(dropped out in junior year) I easily landed a high paying job (for a highschool dropout, started @ 15$/hr with alot of headroom) at a contractor for a major computer company aahhh fuck it, for Apple. We got laid off 2 years later and they out-sourced to India. I never could find another IT job, because of my lack of education. I am just now finally going back to school after having shitty jobs trying desperatley to use my 2 years experience and a GED to get back into the field for the last 8 years.

Now I'll graduate school and make the same or less money than I made as a highschool dropout. (I didn't even have a GED when I got the job)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]bawzonurjaw 16 points17 points ago

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I would probably do that, but I am going to school for Radiology, taking a different turn. I don't want to work with computers all day then come home and do the same thing. I seem to hate every job I do and I don't want to turn my hobby into something evil.

[–]seraph741 9 points10 points ago

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HA! I'm the same. Everytime somebody asks why I became a pharmacist instead of working with computers, I say pretty much the exact same thing! I hate all jobs and didn't want to turn my hobby into something I dreaded.

Sucks though because I'm WAAAAAY better at computers than I am at pharmacy, lol.

[–]mistrbrownstone 19 points20 points ago

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That's...reassuring.

[–]OleSlappy 3 points4 points ago

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Indeed, everyone should avoid the pharmacy that seraph741 works at. You might die of a deadly medication interaction or allergy.

[–]Seraph451 4 points5 points ago

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This is going to cause confusion later for me... Also I DO work in IT for a living @@

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GhostedAccount 7 points8 points ago

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Call center work is not really an IT job. At least not the type of thing makeskidskill was talking about.

[–]erveek 126 points127 points ago

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Not only that, people cared more about music than popularity and sex.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Well done. Just, Well Done.

[–]StrangerSkies 39 points40 points ago

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I'm in my mid-20's, have a BA, am a grad student, and can't even get hired at Jamba Juice.

[–]JConXtsy 21 points22 points ago

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This happened to me back in 2002. Graduated with a 3.9 gpa masters degree in electrical engineering. I sent my resume out to literally over 500 companies offering entry level engineering jobs. Didn't care about relocating, no restrictions. I got nothing. In the meantime, I applied to literally 100 retail jobs around my place and got nothing. I was about to go homeless when I went to a job fair for a company. The number of people there was daunting, over 2000 people applying for about 10 positions. I got in a long line for the hiring manger in my field of schooling. After over 2 hours in line, I made it to the front. I could see he was tired and bored of talking to people. Knowing I had no chance, I just tossed my resume at him and started to walk off, he yelled at me to come back. I've worked there for the last 7 years.

tl; dr: threw my resume at my current boss and walked off

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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threw my resume at my boss, like a boss

[–]north0 30 points31 points ago

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Maybe an unpaid internship at a less competitive juice bar would improve your application package?

[–]_dybbuk 3 points4 points ago

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You're bringing on the twitches

[–]forgoodmeasure 18 points19 points ago

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Jamba juice likely doesn't want to hire someone who is overqualified and overeducated. Putting that you have a BA on your resume can be damaging when applying for a mindless job.

In the employer's mind you have a poor retention rate because you are likely going to be looking for a job in your field while working there. You may be a liar because why on earth would someone with such a good education want to work at jamba juice?

Try changing your resume to more suit the job you are applying for. List previous work experience that is relevant to the job you are applying for and maybe leave off the BA and just put completion of high school.

[–]BrianNowhere 14 points15 points ago

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I was part of those days too, had a salaried Network Admin job with not even a GED back in the 90's. I knew it would come to an end though because every IT person started getting greedy and demanding $100/hr for their time. I told everyone who did this shit that they were going to fuck up our awesome thing but they said I was crazy. Who's crazy now muther fuckers?

[–]makeskidskill 16 points17 points ago

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Oh man, and when I think about the perks and benefits I used to demand... Fully stocked snack kitchen, free fucking red bull, the expense account for business travel... Fuck, I made them upgrade my airline tickets because I could.

Now I suck dick (figuratively) for half of what I used to make.

[–]BrianNowhere 14 points15 points ago

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That's what I'm saying. You kind of fucked yourself there didn't you? We Americans always seem to fuck up the good situations when we get them by demanding more and more until we break it.

[–]makeskidskill 17 points18 points ago

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I milked that gravy train for 11 years... IMO, I didn't ruin it, the Indian IT worker ruined to, for not also demanding catered lunches and in-house massage for 12 hour days.

[–]Retractable 16 points17 points ago

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God damn Indians. Always with the fundamental necessities for life, never with the lavish excesses.

[–]ProjectGSX 6 points7 points ago

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That was fun. I dropped out of college and got a tech support job at compaq for $27/hr. Those were the golden days.

[–]rwanda 3 points4 points ago

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i can confirm this.. dicks were sucked big time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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untapped job market....it's ALWAYS looking for new people... LOL

[–]wearenotenthused 75 points76 points ago*

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As someone who's struggled with unemployment for more than 6 months, this is how I feel. Receptionists should not need degrees to answer phone calls and make coffee. Retail jobs should not require 2-5 years of experience. WTF WORLD.

EDIT: For clarity.

[–]crackyJsquirrel 6 points7 points ago

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I may get down voted for this, being the demographic on reddit... But what is it that is so difficult about a retail job that would require such extensive experience it it? What are you doing from day to day in a retail job that could not be learned in a week or two?

[–]joshjje 16 points17 points ago

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I'm sorry. So sorry. We are looking for someone to comment that has at least 1 year and 4 months of reddit commenting experience. Please peddle your comments elsewhere. :D

[–]ZeroNihilist 4 points5 points ago

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Well it usually takes a couple of months to a year (depending on the person) to crush all hope out of you. That's the sweet spot, right there. You hire somebody after a few months of retail work and you won't get any pestering about "getting a raise" or "do I really have to wear this demeaning uniform?". Hire too soon and you have to break them in yourself. Hire too late and you run the risk of having them go postal on you, and there's a whole lot of paperwork for a murder-suicide.

[–]destructotron 16 points17 points ago

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As a current job seeker: FUCK YES, to this.

[–]Ze_Carioca 10 points11 points ago

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Employer's market.

[–]unusedalias 7 points8 points ago

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Colleges hand out degrees like candy these days. Don't expect this problem to ever get better. It will continue to get worse. Eventually you'll need a PhD to get an entry level job.

[–]Gangringo 51 points52 points ago

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As someone who's been earnestly looking for work for eight months this gave me a much, much needed belly laugh.

Wish me luck on my interview today.

[–]Dracia_Nightcat 17 points18 points ago

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Good luck :)

[–]vegetariancannibal 5 points6 points ago

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Me too. Wishing you luck. Wish me luck on mine tomorrow!

[–]Demotic 1 point2 points ago

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Good luck.

[–]Netcob 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah, but remember: it is really tough to be Charlie. He has to huff glue and eat cat food each night just to be able to sleep because of all the cats that are attracted by empty cat food containers. And he gets glue-huffing ODs all the time. And he's broke all the time because he has to pay private investigators to follow the waitress.

Your life cannot be that hard.

[–]SirDigbyChknCaesar 3 points4 points ago

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If he didn't get to relax and play nightcrawlers sometimes, he'd be a total wreck!

[–][deleted] 92 points93 points ago

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From your comment history:

I am not a fan of either idea and will be talking to him tonight about my idea, having him get a job. He is a 4.0 engineering student who is taking 12 credits this semester with no class on tue/thur and is not involved in any organizations. He's very introverted and comes home to browse the internet for hours and Skype with his parents on a nightly basis. I see no reason why a 10hr/wk job can't fit into his schedule, I just don't know how to bring up the idea without sounding like an ass.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/g3a69/reddit_i_have_a_roommate_with_financial_troubles/

Did you roommate ever get a job? Maybe you could borrow his job helmet.

[–]rwanda 43 points44 points ago

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ah.. the old stalking-rebuf

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I was more expecting to see someone who posted to r/trees regularly, or some similar characteristic of someone who claims it's hard to get a job. Instead, I found this ironic gem.

[–]PrancingPeach 14 points15 points ago

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Wow, now this post feels more than a little ironic.

[–]bronchial[S] 19 points20 points ago

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He did

[–]abenton 8 points9 points ago

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u jelly of his job?

[–]bronchial[S] 7 points8 points ago

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haha, nope.

[–]GhostedAccount 12 points13 points ago

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Haha. Busted.

[–]ZombieSociety 13 points14 points ago*

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Did you ever notice the only people who tell you to "just get a job" are not unemployed? So they can fuck off because they don't know what it's like right now, especially for young people without a degree, because we're instantly branded slackers by people who are so out-of-touch they think it's still possible to just "get a job."

I'm finally employed again after two years, and I was tremendously jaded and pissed off and had zero confidence about the future, so if I can do it, seriously, anyone can.

[–]canitoy 43 points44 points ago

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Pretty much how I feel when someone tells me to get a girlfriend... Forever alone

[–]Roddy0608 26 points27 points ago

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You know all those starving people in the world? Why don't they just eat something?

[–]AgnostiSystem 3 points4 points ago

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This is a surprisingly good analogy.

[–]AnnaLemma 54 points55 points ago

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I have to shake my head every time people say "just get a new job" in response to work-related complaints. Even if we weren't in a recession it's just not that damned simple.

[–]lopsiness 7 points8 points ago

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I have two part time jobs I don't particularly enjoy and that won't take me where I want to go. Every time I mention to my parents that they're wearing me down they're like, well maybe this is as far as you can go with them. Like I can just leave and somehow the bills get paid. Like I can just walk into a company's office and suddenly be part of the team with no real experience beyond what I've done in school.

[–]lizardclit 27 points28 points ago

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I was unemployed for a few months and it was near impossible to find a job. I sent thousands of emails, filled out every application to anywhere I could, anything I was qualified for at any level. No luck. I couldn't get hired at a grocery store. None of the solutions work. and I didn't have unemployment, just a steady stream of money out of my bank account. I ended up with something well below my ability and trying to make the best of it. The job market is not like it used to be, at all.

[–]FyreWulff 16 points17 points ago

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Pretty much the only way to get a job right now is to know somebody that works at that job already.

[–][deleted] 71 points72 points ago*

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"I got a job, therefore everyone can get a job."


Here, basic math:

There are two glasses of water on the table. John, Bob and Sarah are all thirsty. John and Bob each drink a glass of water. Now Sarah says she's thirsty, but there's no water.

"But Sarah," says Bob, "Almost everyone got a glass of water just fine. It was easy; you just have to go to the table and grab one."

Is Sarah just being a whiny bitch?


For the past year I've been looking. All I've been able to get is temp jobs here and there, and tutor math privately (which, during the summer, I don't get so much). Just now as school starts again it looks like I might be able to get a decent job at the university (nothing certain yet), but it's part time, because I'm a full-time student... During the summer everyone is looking for jobs that just aren't there anymore. So I keep on making less than what I need to live on, so my debts keep piling up, slowly but surely.

Supply and demand: it's simple — there is more need for jobs than there are positions available.

[–]yourenotmydad 286 points287 points ago

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If you're not mooching off people they can stfu. If you are mooching then lower your standards and get a job that pays whatever until you find a better one.

[–]StarMagnus 318 points319 points ago

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I'm applying to retails jobs, line cook jobs and mail room jobs I really can't lower my standards anymore and I still don't have a job. I think as long as you're working on getting a job people should stfu.

[–]LiveByTheGuN 68 points69 points ago*

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[–]bashobt 260 points261 points ago*

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Same boat. Mall stores, restaurants, hot dogs stands, bookstores, gas sation, grocery, hospitals, car dealerships, boat docks, and everything else careerbuilder, monster, and craigslist you can imagine.

Nothing. Going to have to sell my car today, hopefully for at least 500, just to get my bank account out of the negative so I can pay rent for Sept.

Thanks college!

Everyone says: It will get better, you'll be fine one day. That's great. Right now all my friends that got jobs out of high school have nice apartments, newer cars, go out to restaurants, and are generally happy with life.

Right now it's starvation, recycling, and selling everything of value.

Have an upvote, it's all I have left.

EDIT: I was kidding, it's all a joke. Please stop sending me messages about how stupid I am and everything is my fault and you all have no problem finding great jobs instantly.

I have a great job, 7 actually, and a great car and lots of money.

Stop please.

[–]Lmkt 55 points56 points ago

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whatever happens don't sell your car

especially if all you can get of it is 500

[–]MikePriceWrites 50 points51 points ago

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Please please please listen to this man/woman. I ran into a rough patch last year that was made even worse after I sold my car for $600 just for a couple more weeks of cash in the bank.

Unless you're living in a big city, a reliable car is THE MOST VALUABLE thing you can have when searching for a job, any job.

Take any job you can, I ended up getting a shitty part time job at at Dicks Sporting Goods, then moved into a slightly less shitty full-time warehouse job until I finally was able to get a well paying job at a local software company.

Sometimes you have to climb the ladder one rung at a time, but it will be a lot harder to do without that car.

[–]s73v3r 7 points8 points ago

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Take any job you can, I ended up getting a shitty part time job at at Dicks Sporting Goods, then moved into a slightly less shitty full-time warehouse job until I finally was able to get a well paying job at a local software company.

Dude, you're not helpful at all with this. Read his post. He's already trying to get those jobs, and not having any success at it. When someone says they're already getting passed up for the shitty jobs, telling someone to "take any job you can" is not helpful at all.

[–]JimmyDThing 10 points11 points ago*

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Can we start posting this in the "everyone should use public transportation" arguments? Cars are a necessity.

EDIT: I shouldn't have been so abrupt or abrasive. What I mean to say is, for MANY people cars are a necessity. I see way too much crap on here where people are accused of being the anti-christ because they own a car.

[–]amanofwealthandtaste 25 points26 points ago

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I'd say there's a handful of cities in the US where public transportation is actually more convenient than using a car, but for the vast majority, you're totally right.

[–]tramster 5 points6 points ago

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Chicago...ever try driving in that city? It's seriously faster to walk.

[–]GhostedAccount 19 points20 points ago

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Nothing. Going to have to sell my car today, hopefully for at least 500, just to get my bank account out of the negative so I can pay rent for Sept.

That is a stupid idea. It is far better for you to live out of your car than pay one extra month of rent. You need the car to function in society.

Keep the car, sleep in a shelter.

[–]Infula 77 points78 points ago

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Just as an aside, when applying to these places, remove your degree from your resume. Trust me on this one.

[–]amanofwealthandtaste 43 points44 points ago

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Seriously, nothing says "I'm going to split the second something better comes along" than a college degree on a minimum wage job application.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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also make up some other stupid job to account for the four years. give them your friends phone number. if they call (they won't) your friend just pretends to be Joe Schmoe from United Widget Co. and act like you were an outstanding employee those four years.

[–]ViaConNada 27 points28 points ago

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I always picked a business from the next town over that had recently gone under.

You know that Gyro place whose owners recently moved back to Greece? Yeah, I worked there for 4 years.

[–]lediablerouge 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck it, we should just be con men.

[–]mutus 12 points13 points ago*

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My latex sales skills leave something to be desired.

[–]PDK01 4 points5 points ago

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VANDALAY INDUSTRIES!

[–]Roddy0608 13 points14 points ago

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It's a bit of a problem when employers don't want any gaps on your CV.

"What were you doing for those 3 years?"

"I was abducted by aliens."

[–]ferrarisnowday 7 points8 points ago

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"I tried school, but it didn't work out for me."

That's honest, but it implies that you dropped out.

[–]massivedbag 4 points5 points ago

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How do you explain the 3-5 years of not working?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You're simply not going to be a quality candidate for any job if you can't figure out how to successfully bullshit. One word: freelance.

[–]kielbasa330 16 points17 points ago

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May I direct your attention to www.reddit.com/r/frugal? Might have some good tips for you 'til you get back on your feet.

[–]MaxX_Evolution 33 points34 points ago

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Fuck, dude, I'm sorry. I'm not rolling in money either but if you get to a point where you can't feed yourself, PM me, I'll buy you a pizza or two any day of the week.

[–]street593 10 points11 points ago

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Try looking at a community college near you for trade classes. I took a 6 week course for logistics and it didn't take me long at all to get a warehouse job.

[–]amanofwealthandtaste 3 points4 points ago

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Also, state unemployment agencies will often pick up the tab on that sort of thing.

[–]krayonic 106 points107 points ago

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I hate saying "this", but THIS. If fucking Starbucks won't hire me , then who will? I want to rip my worthless BA in half.

[–]chrisms150 25 points26 points ago

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What's your BA in?

[–]squigglecakes 38 points39 points ago

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I have a BS in Biology and I just got rejected by Target the other day. PRETTY AWESOME.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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Well Target doesn't want biologists; they want stupid, complacent workers. As it's been noted before, don't put education above high school on your resume. As perverse as it sounds, you gotta look uneducated.

[–]SplurgyA 7 points8 points ago

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Well if you told them you have a BS in Biology that's probably why they're not going to hire you. If they know you're looking for a better job, why would they bother hiring you and getting you used to the tills, how to price items etc. if there's a good chance three months later you'll quit because you've found a Biology-based job?

[–]SAMUEL_LEROY_JACKSON 49 points50 points ago

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Believe me, it doesn't matter.

[–]chrisms150 30 points31 points ago

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It certainly does. Not every BA/BS degree is equal you know.

[–]SweetKri 34 points35 points ago

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Unless you're going into something specific, most liberal arts degrees are pretty equivalent out here in the working world.

[–]Im_on_an_upboat 5 points6 points ago

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Have you sent your resume to head hunters/temp agencies? A lot of temp jobs pay decent (more than retail) and you just have to pass a typing test and some stuff about Word or Excel. Many places ONLY go through temp agencies and you will be hired on full time in 3-6 months. If you don't like the place, you can ask to go to a different job. Just some advice, although it may be something you have already tried.

[–]redbeardo 2 points3 points ago

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I don't want to be a downer, but a lot of temp agencies pay roughly $8-12 an hour. A lot of them now also require 1-3 years experience as well in the field you are looking for (yes, even requiring one year experience working in a call center) If you're under a certain age you could get some temp mystery shopper gigs that pay well short term 1-2 days a month. But you should still try it out because you just have to fill out an application and do some basic computer/ word tests.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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if you have a Whole Foods near by and they are hiring (check online) i can give you some tips on getting a job there. depending on which department you apply for there are a few things you can say and do to get in.

its a good place to work. lots of room for advancement, benefits and so on.

[–]SweetKri 5 points6 points ago

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I know it's counter-intuitive, but have you tried sending resumes with your education left off? Sometimes the Hot Dog On A Stick type places will hire the high school educated kid over the collegiate one, thinking that the HS kid is more likely to stick around for longer.

[–]epicviking 2 points3 points ago

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HS kid will probably mesh with the other empoyees a lot better too since none of them went to college.

[–]hobbit6 2 points3 points ago

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Just out of curiosity, have you listed with any temp agencies? When you do that, you've basically got someone (a paid sales person) trying to sell you to a company. I fought the job boards for months, listed with Kelly and had two interviews within a week. It might just be pushing a button for a few hours, for a week or two, but it's money, experience, and a foot in the door.

[–]the__funk 2 points3 points ago

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THERE IS NO PEPE SILVIA!!!!

"Charlie all of these people exist and they are all very upset that they haven't gotten any of their mail!"

[–]fromeout11 2 points3 points ago

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I got boxes full of Pepe!

[–]ShakyBonez 5 points6 points ago

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chika chikaaaaa.....

[–]eyeball_kid 14 points15 points ago

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I once had a manager tell me that they wouldn't even look at the resume of someone that didn't have previous experience in the exact position they were hiring for. The position: mail room clerk. Really? I have to work my way UP TO the mail room now? How can you get more entry level than that?

[–]StarMagnus 18 points19 points ago

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Can't find it but there was that pic on reddit a while back. 50 years ago it was get a job in the mailroom and work your way up to CEO. Today it's "You don't have a degree in mailroom sciences? Get out."

[–]eyeball_kid 13 points14 points ago

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It was a rude awakening when I got out of university. I wasn't expecting to have all the doors suddenly burst open for me, but I figured having a degree and pretty solid work experience would qualify me for an entry level position somewhere. Spent the good portion of the next decade working temp contracts, seasonal stuff or getting laid off due to attrition. The old days of "working your way up" is over.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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that shit was a myth even back then

[–]eta_carinae_311 14 points15 points ago

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I actually have trouble finding jobs like that that will hire me. I'm way overqualified (masters in environmental engineering); they take one look at my resume and know I'll bolt the second I get a "real" job offer. I have zero service experience, every job I've ever had was related to what I was studying. I've yet to come up with a good answer for "so, why are you looking here" other than "um... I need money?"

[–]CaptLudwig 8 points9 points ago

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Yeah this was why I had trouble too. Be up front and tell them that you're dedicated and willing to finish something you start. Got me my decent job.

Of course it was a lie. As soon as I get a better offer I'm out of here.

[–]eta_carinae_311 2 points3 points ago

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I wonder what finishing something you start means in retail? It's not like it's a contract... but I see what you mean about giving the impression you're going to stick around for a bit :)

[–]djepicurus 3 points4 points ago

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Man I feel for you guys really making an effort out there.

[–]yarnage 7 points8 points ago

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Are you just applying or are you perusing? Applying isn't enough (and never has been enough).

When I applied to McDonalds back when I was 16, I gave them one day then called them and explained that I submitted my application and that I am eager to begin working for them. I was hired on the god damn phone.

Ever since then I have done this. Software development internship? I had to fight hard and call many people back who declined to ask them why (it was always experience) and I would tell them I can do the job and that I will prove it to them.

[–]kurin 6 points7 points ago

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Wait a minute. Are you telling me that, to get hired, I have to make myself stand out in some way? That I can't just fire off 20 emails and call it a day? That seems suspect.

[–]uguysmakemesick 19 points20 points ago

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my standards are low.. mcdonald's low.. and i'm still not getting hired.

[–]Ze_Carioca 8 points9 points ago

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In Tampa McDonald's had a lower acceptance rate than Harvard.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hemlockecho 12 points13 points ago

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Relevant username.

[–]HybridEmblem 16 points17 points ago

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there is this thing called an ego that's crushed when you take a shittier job than your previous. Though logically it's the correct thing to do, it's tougher when you're actually in that position.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sun827 11 points12 points ago

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...at the bottom of that bag of cheetos

[–]HybridEmblem 2 points3 points ago

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That's just sad. It's also what I see as a symptom of depression in certain cases. Some people are just afraid of venturing out and facing LIFE. They feel like they know what they are going to expect so they don't try at all. Which is why I hate people who'd say something like "If I don't try, I can't fail"

[–]Creyon 13 points14 points ago

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My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch, he tells me everyday.

[–]AgnostiSystem 2 points3 points ago

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My friend's got a boyfriend and she hates that dick, she tells me everyday.

[–]theresaviking 9 points10 points ago

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In Scotland a jobby is slang for a shit. The more you know.

[–]mortalum 19 points20 points ago

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To be fair though, job land is pretty easy to find if you're Charlie. Why don't you emulate him and try huffing glue before the cats get you?

[–]EatMoreFiber 29 points30 points ago

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We could use you in r/shittyadvice.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago*

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I'm wondering when people are going to FINALLY admit that the job market is fucked because corporations got tax breaks they were not entitled to, which caused them to get giddy as shit and outsource all the labor over seas.

The remaining workers could pick up the slack while the CEO's and Executives got blow jobs on their 80 foot yachts which they paid for with the RECORD incomes they've been getting.

How long is it going to be until you people realize how bad we've been fucked? Don't you get it? The economy is going down the drain because corps and rich people had it too good, too long. They don't want to play fair and they have threatened to move out at every turn and take their money with them. So we just bent over and took it like a 3 dollar hooker.

You think this is bad? It's going to get worse. And worse. And worse. Until people acknowledge the problem. You people think banks fail all the time? They DON'T. When was the last time in history (besides the great depression) that banks failed en masse and required a PUBLICLY FUNDED BAILOUT in order to survive?

When has the jobless rate been so high and compounded with offshoring, the importation of cheap goods (and labor) AND free trade agreements which businesses exploit? And by exploit I mean importing goods to mexico from China and avoiding the sky high tarrifs they'd incur otherwise. You think that was a coincidence? No fucking way.

Then you have companies like GM and the likes getting money from the government. And INSTEAD of creating jobs domestically like they promised, they open a new plant in Mexico and close up the domestic plants (or scale them back) and/or ship the jobs off overseas. All in order to again push sky-high profits, incomes for their executives etc.

The problem is that the system has been rigged for far too long, the people on top have grown too greedy and they have stolen TRILLIONS of dollars from the system by gambling in intangible assets. Now they expect the middle and lower classes to just make up the difference.

Maybe i've become jaded from having to outlive two bubbles (.Com bubble, the financial collapse of 2008). I've been forced into the situation I'm in despite going to school, getting my education, paying back my student loans and being an overall responsible person.

Now if I can't get a job at a fucking grocery store stocking shelves, SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG with the system. 10 years ago I could get a job ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING. Those jobs have all been temped out and otherwise replaced with automation. So guess what, the jobs that are out there now? They aren't going to be there forever and you smug pricks who are up on your high horse better bide your time. 'Cause one of two things is going to happen, you're going to be worked into the ground (having to make up for the 2-10 workers in your department who were shit canned). OR your job will be replaced with someone on an immigration visa and/or outsourced to the lowest bidder offshore.

WE - ARE - FUCKED!

It really isn't difficult to comprehend that in order to have a thriving system it must FLOW. People need jobs, those people earn money, they spend money on things that other people make, and the process repeats. All the while the rich take the cream off the top. That used to be an acceptable thing to do, but people got greedy. Started cutting into the meat of it. Now things are fucked up. Big surprise.

[–]AgnostiSystem 6 points7 points ago

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I've been forced into the situation I'm in despite going to school, getting my education, paying back my student loans and being an overall responsible person.

This is what pisses me off. I did everything the older generation told me to do. "Don't worry if you can't come up with all the money for college there are ways of getting it (LOTS of student loans with variable interest). Once you get your degree you'll be making $50k a year starting out!"

So I took out all the loans myself. Worked 20-30 hours a week while taking 12-18 credits per semester. Graduated, got my degree (IT field). Applied for jobs and got very few call backs. Finally got an interview for a job that based on the listing I didn't think I was fully qualified for.

HR: What are your salary requirements?

Me: $50k a year.

HR: That's out of the pay range for the position, is there a little wiggle room?

Me: Yea.

HR's final offer: $35k a year.

I took the job since there were no other offers and I have to pay on these student loans. Worked there for almost a year and got laid off in early 2009 when the economy was tanking. Why did I get laid off? Oh yea, because I made $35k a year, I was making the most out of all my co-workers. And the job consisted of going to warehouses or office building and shrink wrapping old computers and CRT's to pallets and loading them on a truck. That was pretty much it. Based on the job posting I thought I would need to be a Network Admin with 10 years experience.

So I suck it up and apply to every job within a 25 mile radius. The only callbacks were for shitty contract jobs that lasted a couple weeks at most. It got so bad that I started walking into businesses with my resume and just handing it to people. I entered a locally owned computer shop and was offered a job 2 weeks later.

Starting pay: $12/hour.

I laughed in the face of the hiring manager and told him that I would just stay on unemployment since I was making more money. He negotiated with me, pay based on experience (which I have no problem with since I know my shit and I'm a hard worked), I accepted the job. But I'm still making the bottom of the barrel for my industry pay-grade.

I played by the rules. And you know what? That's EXACTLY what they want you to do! BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE PLAYING BY THEM!

This country is fucked.

[–]Lyme 7 points8 points ago

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I did everything the older generation told me to do.

This is what makes me rage so hard. I feel so utterly fucking betrayed, because I listened to the advice I was given by my elders who assured me that with a college education, I'd be making good money and I wouldn't have to worry about my future.

And now, every job listing I see wants insane qualifications and insane amounts of work for diddly-squat in pay. I haven't had a raise in over 5 years now, and have actually had my pay cut... I am so fucking enraged and utterly frustrated because there is literally nothing I can do to improve things.

[–]JoelQuest 13 points14 points ago

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As someone who has written over 300 cover letters over the last 2 years, I THUNDERED on the "upvote" arrow.

[–]krisdahl 2 points3 points ago

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Could it be that your cover letter isn't communicating the right things? Maybe your resume isn't specific to the jobs you're applying for? Are you just emailing out resumes, or are you following up, making phone calls? Going to industry events and networking?

Pro tip: most jobs are acquired by networking, not just sending out resumes.

[–]cypherdtraitor 10 points11 points ago

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Buy bulk candy online and sell that shit illegally on the street. You can make 100-150 bucks a day if you are in a place where enough people walk buy. The ticket usually runs 100-300 dollars if you get caught, but fuck the police and just don't pay.

When I want a job I start on one side of the busiest street in my hometown and walk all the way down and all the way back. I apply everywhere, asking 10$ an hour. You'd be surprised what persistence will get you. You can even sell candy as you go.

Remember, chocolate is easiest to sell, but you have to shield it from sunlight and put some cool packs in the box with it. I highly recommend a Styrofoam cooler.

I'm in college now, so I'm looking out for medical studies. I almost landed a place as a control group MRI. 150$ for 7.5 hours of work.

TLDR: Medium-wage self employment is easy if you don't mind some misdemeanors.

[–]AMostOriginalUserNam 4 points5 points ago

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People like you built America, sir!

[–]Pfmohr2 2 points3 points ago

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Look man, when people get you down, just grab your bashin' stick and get bashin.

[–]AKneelingOx 4 points5 points ago

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this'll probably get buried, but this is how i feel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsSWJvlojgc

[–]Decency 39 points40 points ago

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So, how many applications did you send out today?

Did you spend more time on reddit or monster?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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I browse monster, indeed, and a slew of others every morning for about 30 min, which is the time it takes to see all the new job posts.

There are only so many jobs in a limited area.

[–]Kalium 6 points7 points ago

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When I was unemployed - not all that long ago - I would send out applications to every unique job post I was actually qualified for within thirty to sixty miles. Most days, this was between five and thirty.

Spending lots of time on job hunting sites was generally a waste of time. You grab the applicable ones, apply to them, and then sit back and wait to be ignored. Not a single one of those job applications ever landed me a job. Those all came from people approaching me.

[–]nonsensepoem 18 points19 points ago

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While unemployed I never found a job through Monster.com. As far as I could tell, the site is full of fake job announcements that just execute the "We're announcing this job to comply with the law, but really we're already locked in to hiring this guy we brought over from India who will work for half a peanut per week" maneuver.

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 30 points31 points ago

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Also, I'm frequently shocked at how many job hunters ONLY use Craigslist, Monster, Jobing, etc. Of all my jobs, I've only found one through Craigslist...the rest were found by hitting the pavement, calling up contacts, looking up companies and directly dropping off resumes, etc.

If you're job hunting, you should NOT be in your pajamas every day while surfing online, but wearing a suit and actually meeting people face to face. THAT lands you a job, not a fancy looking resume (though a good looking resume doesn't hurt).

[–]Dracia_Nightcat 18 points19 points ago

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In London, this doesn't work so well. When trying to be proactive and actually meeting people face to face, or calling, writing letters etc, they just look at you weird and give you their recruitment URL...

Businesses just don't want the hassle of dealing with people!

[–]danny841 51 points52 points ago

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Maybe you haven't applied to McDonalds or WalMart in 10 years but EVERYTHING is done online now. At the moment I can think of maybe two places that accept physical applications and none that accept resumes for minimum wage jobs. Department stores like Macy's would take your resume I suppose.

But my issue with what you said stems from the fact that the job hunting market has exploded over the last few years. Now instead of having only determined people apply to McDonalds in person, every stoner in the tri state area can apply in his pajamas and possibly get the job over you simply because both of you are inexperienced and the job application only shows so much. And believe me, I've tried walking in after applying. Employers either give you the run around or outright hate the fact that you bothered them by asking about your application.

[–]Roddy0608 14 points15 points ago

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Yeah, online application forms are becoming more popular. What annoys me is that the website will reject you systematically if you don't tick the right boxes. This happens before an actual human being gets to even see your application.

[–]junocake 2 points3 points ago

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This is how I jump started my career. Moved to a new city and had one month to find a job or it was back to the Midwest to live with my parents.

Every day I would wake up early, submit resumes through job sites (monster, company sites, etc) and follow up on ones I had already submitted. Once that was done I'd put on my suit I got from Goodwill for 20$ and walk around all the IT companies in the tech areas of the city. Most would say "we only accept resumes online", but some would take them. I'd make a note and follow up, usually with nothing coming of it.

About two weeks into this routine I walked into a bio-tech company which was completely out of my field and the HR guy invited me into his office. He said he appreciated my tenacity and hard work and while he couldn't offer any jobs he would take my resume and post it to an internal hiring list he was a part of.

Two days later I got a call for an interview from a defense contractor, nailed the interview and was hired. Coincidentally while waiting for the job to start I got two more calls asking for interviews.

I build up experience, applied for at different companies and promoted myself by moving around. Now 5 years later I'm basically in my dream IT role with only room to go up.

It takes a lot of persistence, courage, and just hard work to get that initial position. Once you do though and you have a few years experience it does make things a lot easier. Don't be afraid of rejection and don't get tempted by frustration. Just keep pounding away and eventually something will crack.

[–]Afterburned 2 points3 points ago

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Not for minimum wage and hourly type work. Almost all applications are done online now, directly through the company. Some places you might be able to walk in and hand the manager your resume and request an interview, but not all.

[–]O_WHOA 6 points7 points ago

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THIS. I've been telling my parents I need to be out all day to look for jobs, but they just tell me what kmart said, look for jobs online. Three years later and I am still unemployed and only had 2 face to face interviews

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 15 points16 points ago

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Three years? Holy crap, dude. Throw on a shirt/tie and start filling out applications at retail/food/temp agencies. Give that a month, then start calling companies and ask if they want an unpaid volunteer.

Do SOMETHING...three years without a job will start to fuck with your head.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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The real unemployment rate is probably greater than 20%. No one really knows but it's bad. It's actually worse than the great depression. Here's why - back then you were counted as unemployed if you were below retirement age and you didn't have a job. The statistics now are grossly underestimated on purpose to hide the truth. There's no way that unemployment is 10% when you have hundreds looking for the one job, it just doesn't add up.

[–]Sogeking99 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah so true. I've been looknig for work for about a year now, and when ever someone I'm arguing with get beat they just say 'shut up and get a job' fuck them.

[–]idiotthethird 10 points11 points ago

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Anyone who says "Get a job" should be willing to hire the person they're saying it to. If you want give them a job, what makes you think anyone else will?

[–]SimplyGirly 7 points8 points ago

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I feel ya.

From the unemployed grad who can't find work.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hudders 4 points5 points ago

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That would not protect you after being fired out of a job cannon.

But then again you appear to be a skeleton, so what do you care? Go nuts.

[–]hotsizzlepancakes 89 points90 points ago

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So you came to the internet because your dad has made you mad by telling you to get a job.

The internet has no sympathy.

GET A JOB!!!!!!!

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 56 points57 points ago

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Your "revolution" is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! My advice is, do what your parents did! Get a job, sir!

[–]kvachon 25 points26 points ago

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It was great. He said to take any rug in the joint.

Advantage: Dude

[–]massivedbag 9 points10 points ago

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Are you employed, sir? You don't go out and make a living dressed like that on a weekday?

Is this a...what day is it?

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points ago

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Seriously get a job

[–]garbletastic 13 points14 points ago

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like, seriously.

[–]redditvlli 13 points14 points ago

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No, like, for real.

[–]Vartib 12 points13 points ago

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We weren't kidding.

[–]zonker1984 12 points13 points ago

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Dude, I got laid off from a company and have been trying to find a job for over a year. I'm lucky that my wife got a decent job before our savings account ran out, but that's beside the point.

The point is it's not fucking possible to just get a job. I have a BA in Communications, have been working in the tech field for years, am an Internationally Certified Barista, and I cannot fucking get a job.

[–]wishanem 3 points4 points ago

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Have you been applying to temp agencies? I was out of work for a year and a temp agency placed me in less than a month. A lot of people don't think to try temp agencies because they don't show up in job listings, but they're better than unemployment.

[–]VicePresidente 8 points9 points ago*

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Pretty much anything Charlie says in that show is hilarious

[–]That_Guy_on_Reddit 2 points3 points ago

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[–]tommythetimberwolf 2 points3 points ago

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I can't be the only one who actually heard Charlie's voice as he said every word, right?

[–]woodrail 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck getting a job. I'd rather do something clever.

[–]Buffalkill 2 points3 points ago

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If you say "job" enough times it becomes one of those words that doesn't sound like it's a word anymore.

[–]reapfreak 2 points3 points ago

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Try having extreme social anxiety. I haven't worked in 2 years because of this, and I'm also dropping out of college.

[–]NahanniWild 3 points4 points ago

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sarcasm doesn't go far in interviews.

[–]calebb 5 points6 points ago

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Or just put down my PS3 controller and get your ass outside, Ian.

[–]hmmwellactually 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Throwawayname 1 point2 points ago

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I guess the job market for bird lawyers is pretty soft now, too.

[–]brokencode 1 point2 points ago

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North Dakota has a lot of jobs.

[–]tripletwist 1 point2 points ago

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In Scotland, jobbies are poops. The more you know.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Someday I need to watch this show...Someday.

[–]grimman 1 point2 points ago

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Whew. Saved by the gif again. Thank you op for not having us suffer with a proper video format and sound. You are a god amongst men.

[–]jerklin 1 point2 points ago

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Create your own "job". What I mean by that is take whatever type of job you are looking for, use the internet to research it and practice it on your own. Join communities for your field and make friends and explore other successful work. If it involves a skill that you can produce tangible results with, even better. Create your own projects, seek the advice and constructive criticism of others. That way when you are always gaining experience and making yourself better prepared for future interviews.

Whatever you do, try not to be idle.

[–]the_pw_is_1234 2 points3 points ago

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For some reason I misread the last line as "Whatever you do, try not to die." Though after re-reading it, I thought my first interpretation was better advice...

[–]JorgeChurano 1 point2 points ago

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Look. There's plenty of Charlie work that needs doing. Go get the rat traps and slop bucket. Your job starts now.

[–]asmosdeus 1 point2 points ago

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Here in the UK a Jobie is a deuce.

[–]tolstoyleo 1 point2 points ago

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The only response to "get a job" is "why don't you get on your knees and give me one."

[–]bluegoon 1 point2 points ago

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I bet 10 bucks that helmet will be converted in a TF2 hat.

[–]Dubzil 1 point2 points ago

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This is how I felt last night when my boss told me that homeless people choose to be homeless -_-

[–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

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I recall Arnold Schwarzenegger being larger in Twins.

[–]mrzack 1 point2 points ago

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9/11 inside job

[–]Chargelot 1 point2 points ago

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TLDR; "It's not my fault I'm unemployable".

[–]ReleeSquirrel 1 point2 points ago

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I like to ask, "Are you hiring?"

[–]skyfarer 1 point2 points ago

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Have a premed and econ BA from an Ivy League, GPA meh (3.5 or so) but not too shabby considering grade deflation policies at my uni. Premed absolutely useless due to failing classes during the years I was depressed...med schools won't take Cs, much less Fs.

Been looking for a year, including unpaid internships, restaurant and cashier jobs - nada. Please stop telling me to "lower my standards", I have no standards (including prostitution, which I only demur from due to fear for my safety and health). I know I can lie and leave off my degree, but I am a supremely poor bullshitter and I have no friends to help fake the bossman's voice.

Moreover I am working atm. I'm not sitting on my ass with the Cheetos and hentai porn, I am out of the house from 7 AM to 7 PM working. It's just that I can't make enough to live on, because I'm working in Beijing for the equivalent of $15 in total a DAY - that's not enough to pay for food much less rent. Nor is it a career stepping stone...it's helping me improve my Mandarin, which I guess is a skill, but it's not exactly training me in anything.

I know the lack of relevant experience and poor degree are pretty costly, but I have known plenty of people who are able to overcome those due to strong networking and interview skills; in fact I strongly suspect social skills are the most critical factor for most careers in any sort of demand. And that's ultimately what's unemploying me and those with mental health issues like me.

Yes I know those issues are technically "my fault" in the same way that a poor choice of degree is, so I can only blame myself, but they started when I was very young and it is pointless to judge kids without offering them a way to improve. I am trying to improve and make myself more employable with what I've got. That's why it annoys me when people tell me to just "get a better job", "get better at networking", "stop playing the victim and mooching off your parents" etc etc. Or that I could get a job if I "just got a trade skill" or "bullshitted better" or "applied to 500 jobs a day". That advice works off the assumption that I am a "normal" person - not a bad assumption to make by any means, but in some cases it's not that we're average peeps with degrees who are too lazy or misdirected when applying, it's that we have long-term issues that make us unemployable that can't be solved with a wave of the hand.

“Just fake self-confidence" "grow up" is about as much use to me as telling an anorexic to eat more. I already know what I have to do, it's the how that takes time and I am not a loser simply because I can't catch up on two decades of development overnight. The pragmatic points made in this thread are great and I think there are plenty of useful tips; it's just that I'd like to note that sometimes people are unemployable for reasons beyond a liberal arts degree or over-high standards (or even the miserable job market).