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all 118 comments

[–]rgower 35 points36 points ago*

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Let's all take this very seriously and settle every debate on animal ethics on /r/funny.

[–]prematurepost 11 points12 points ago

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Challenge accepted. Bad argument number one:

Life feeds on life.

[–]hussard_de_la_mort 5 points6 points ago

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Bad counter-argument: Animals are cute and fuzzy.

[–]tehsusenoh 6 points7 points ago

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Maybe I'll accept this once all of these are dead.

[–]SuperFerret3 8 points9 points ago

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How adorable!

[–]Saucefire 1 point2 points ago

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Look! It's smiling at us!

[–]SmoothWD40 5 points6 points ago

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FLESHLIGHTS YAY!

[–]tehsusenoh 3 points4 points ago

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[–]bloodredmoon 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Boblachapelle 2 points3 points ago

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Must stomp all the tubesucky thing!

[–]tehsusenoh -1 points0 points ago

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[–]leandrotami 2 points3 points ago

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Cthulhu?

[–]sunnyboarder 2 points3 points ago

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lamprey

dissected one once-full of eggs

[–]rockabilly_pete 1 point2 points ago

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Lamprey pie: the food of kings.

[–]analogy_4_anything 0 points1 point ago

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That's a lamprey. It's edible and apparently it tastes pretty good.

[–]soldierboi 1 point2 points ago

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/r/shittyadvice could use your talents wisdom

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 48 points49 points ago

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Pre-internet troll.

[–]stanfan114 0 points1 point ago

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False flag.

[–]hansn 22 points23 points ago

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FWD:Fwd:Re:Fwd: So funny!

[–]stony_phased 0 points1 point ago

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Unsubscribe

[–]FOR_SClENCE 18 points19 points ago

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GET OFF OF THE INTERNET SHITTY, UNFUNNY PICTURE.

[–]MikeTheInfidel 5 points6 points ago

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To all you redditors who repost old stuff for karma, shame on you; you ought to go to 4chan and post things there, where no reposts are posted.

[–]notnotretarded 2 points3 points ago

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"The most repetitive content on reddit" would probably be you copypasting the same text several times on one page of comments.

[–]MikeTheInfidel 0 points1 point ago

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Guess what? I did downvote it.

[–]blaze_all_day 1 point2 points ago

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Shame on you for reposting!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Apparently my aunt once believed eggs were made in a factory.

[–]Thimee 0 points1 point ago

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She probably read that in an email...

RE: FW: FW: You Won't Believe This!!1!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Next thing you know hunters will go after vegetables!

[–]prematurepost 15 points16 points ago

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[–]therantingnorwegian 1 point2 points ago

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I can't help but feel that people are only vegetarians/vegans because they no longer are exposed to the circle of life at a young age.

[–]motorpoodle 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe because it's healthier and more environmentally friendly? Nah....gotta be exposure to circles.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I don't know . . . if I had to chase, strangle, behead, pluck the feathers from, disembowl, and split my own chickens I would probably be less inclined to eat chicken nuggets on a regular basis. But you get upvotes anyway because you do have a point.

[–]Khaemwaset 3 points4 points ago

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As someone who did that as a kid, I assure you, you would still enjoy chicken nuggets on a regular basis.

[–]khanfusion 5 points6 points ago

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I actually want to go on a diet where I don't eat meat unless I caught/killed it and cleaned it and so on. It seems pretty chickenshit to love eating meat and yet remain squeamish regarding the process of killing and so on. Now obviously, my plan to never eat meat unless I go through the whole process is somewhat impractical, but I'd personally feel better about it all if I knew I had honor to do the dirty work myself, instead of casually disregarding the fact something's died gruesomely so I can fill my face.

[–]5ee5 1 point2 points ago

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If you did that, my guess would be that your diet would be full of fish.

[–]zzorga 1 point2 points ago

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Because fuck fish. Amirite?

[–]5ee5 2 points3 points ago

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I was thinking that it's easier to catch a lot of fish and then freeze them, than get a big game item (deer, coyote) and freeze that because fish season is all year. Unless where you fish is frozen.

[–]zzorga 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, ice fishing. But you gotta be careful to not let the fish melt on the way back!

[–]khanfusion 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed. Luckily, I live near the coast. Unluckily, that coast got pwned with oil last year...

[–]brikkhead 0 points1 point ago

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An Australian woman named Maddy Parry recently made a documentary when she did just that. I can't find a link right now though sorry.

[–]Waybye 1 point2 points ago

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But if you did you'd be so much healthier for it. Exercise + shit-less meat.

[–]Contero 0 points1 point ago

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People eat huge quantities of meat because they are so detached from the conditions animals live in. If people were better exposed to the "circle of life" we'd have more vegetarians, not less.

[–]thereR4lights 22 points23 points ago

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Nope. I killed my first chicken when I was 8. Held it down and decapitated with a machete at my Grandfather's direction. He thought it was real funny when the head chicken got up and began running around the backyard squirting blood from its neck stump.

Traumatized me for about 10 minutes and then we cleaned and gutted it and made fried chicken.

I love fried chicken.

[–]tick_tock_clock 1 point2 points ago

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Different for different people, I suspect. You are comfortable with killing your food, but others take the reverse path, and suddenly discover they can do without meat.

[–]gorigorigori 1 point2 points ago

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I wrote this further down, but will say it again:

Referring to grampa's cute little farm when discussing meat eating and the ecological, economical and ethical problems the stems from it is exactly like referring to gramma's loom when discussing the ecological, economical and ethical problems of the large scale textile industry.

As a vegetarian I have nothing at all against small scale (personal use) farming and hunting. Hunting is ok for all animals, humans included. But when it comes to our majority source of meat, the overpopulated torturous factories, now that's another thing altogether.

Beheading a chicken with grampa is not the same as treating 50000 live cows as annoyingly moving and breathing carcasses and feeding them enough anti biotics to stay alive until slaughter is not really the same. At all. In any other sense than they both produce meat.

[–]khanfusion 3 points4 points ago

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I doubt the veracity of this. Cutting the head off a live chicken is incredibly difficult, hence why most farmers and the like wring their necks first to kill them. Also, they don't "get up and run around" so much as flop around frantically as they try to fly/run away.

[–]tick_tock_clock 3 points4 points ago

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they don't "get up and run around"

Yes they do.

[–]Saibh 2 points3 points ago

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Yep. Depends on where it's cut on the brain stem, I believe.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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Yep.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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My anecdotal evidence is louder, so SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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I can't believe this guy, fucking hippies, our ancestors ate meat, that seems a totally reasonable way to put ethics out of the equation.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Despite the fact we don't need to eat meat any more, at least in the western world.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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But it tasteessssss good, and I'm a weak person.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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and so it goes.....

[–]Valek27 5 points6 points ago

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Not eating meat is silly; you're silly.

[–]pandora9715 5 points6 points ago

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But...we were made to...eat meat?

[–]Contero 5 points6 points ago

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I didn't say you shouldn't!

[–]prematurepost -5 points-4 points ago*

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But...we were made to...eat meat?

That's a naturalistic fallacy.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]prematurepost 0 points1 point ago

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I suppose I misinterpreted his statement to be prescriptive. Since he said we were "made too" do something I perceived it to imply it was our purpose. Obviously, biological evolution has no purposes but is merely the successful replication of randomly mutating organic matter.

[–]Obi_Kwiet 2 points3 points ago

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We are omnivores. The structure of your body would be different if this was true.

[–]Khaemwaset 0 points1 point ago

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As a hunter and an individual who was exposed to butchering from an early age, I disagree with you completely.

What is your experience with hunting?

[–]gorigorigori 0 points1 point ago

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Having experience with hunting and butchering is NOT the same as having experience with dissassembly line meat manufacture. One IS perfectly "natural" (all wild animals die from something) the other is incredible in the sheer amount of economical, ecological and ethical insanity going on inside.

Can't compare personal, small scale meat harvesting with huge, overcrowded meat factories. It's those factories almost all our meat comes from.

Referring to hunting or grampa's cute farm in arguments about animal ethics and meat eating is like referring to gramma's loom when discussing the problems of the textile industries.

PS. I am a vegetarian in the sense that I don't eat factory farmed meat. I will kill and eat game though.

[–]Khaemwaset 0 points1 point ago

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I live in a forest and 90% of my meat comes from my own efforts. Hunting, fishing, and trapping. I buy beef once in awhile. Not a cute little farm.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Just like how so many people who live on farms and ranches don't eat meat. Oh wait.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]heavensclowd 2 points3 points ago

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Regarding killing cells, that isn't the point. Vegetarians eat dairy and sometimes eggs, because the animal isn't killed. Eating the fruit of a tree doesn't kill the tree. As for evolving to eat dairy, we spent hundreds of thousands of years eating ~20% meat and ~80% fruit/veggy/nuts/berries. There are lots of people who eat meat every day, some for every meal. The meat is also way more fatty, and not lean/gamey meat that we evolved eating.

Most meat eaters today eat way too much meat, and waaaaaay to much fat from meat.

[–]midgetmouse -1 points0 points ago

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"Eating the fruit of a tree doesn't kill the tree." No, it does kill part of it though. It's like cutting off the tail of a gecko so it can grow back again.

"~20% meat and ~80% fruit/veggy/nuts/berries." That really depends on the time/period/environment. And just because it is 20% does not mean that the food group is any less important.

"Most meat eaters today eat way too much meat, and waaaaaay to much fat from meat." True, very true.

[–]briggs60 1 point2 points ago

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shame on you for this blatant repost

[–]downvotesreposts 1 point2 points ago

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Repost. Obligatory downvote.

[–]Cheeseball701 0 points1 point ago

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Is this one of those newspaper columns where they just give anyone space to rant?

[–]dunmartin 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously though. Can't those hunters just eat bologna like the rest of us?

No animals in that stuff (god knows what is though...)

[–]leandrotami 0 points1 point ago

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Well, actually in most supermarkets animals are not harmed.

[–]kenallen09 0 points1 point ago

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The 2nd part of that little article is probably mostly true unfortunately.

[–]numeralsandletters 0 points1 point ago

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[–]DecentOpinion 0 points1 point ago

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obvious troll is obvious

[–]Danius 0 points1 point ago

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One would think its a troll, but its actually a normal american newspaper.

[–]LoriStrode 0 points1 point ago

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This is what happens when you have no more natural selection to thin out the herd.

[–]sybert 0 points1 point ago

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Who's got the "I don't want to be here anymore" image? Post it now.

[–]jeffrexsave 0 points1 point ago

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america

[–]blorno 0 points1 point ago

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LOL, I've never seen this before. Thanks for posting!

[–]trompelemonde 0 points1 point ago

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This is similar to the position of some Buddhists.

In some traditions, the 'sin' isn't eating meat, but rather eating meat that has been killed specifically for you.

[–]greengiantme 0 points1 point ago

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Repost.

[–]Cyralea 0 points1 point ago

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In light of all the comments not getting the inherent sarcasm, the post is obviously made by someone trying to belittle the vegetarian/vegan stance by mock example (see Poe's Law).

Here's another example of such a Poe.

[–]somethingofdoom 2 points3 points ago

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problem is I've met the ones who really would think just that. Sometimes there is witty sarcasm, sometimes you wonder if they would fall over dead for forgetting to breathe...............

[–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 0 points1 point ago

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“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing.”

I might be being a stickler here, but wasn't Poe's Law written exclusively for cases of religious fanaticism? Has there been widespread acceptance to expand it to all cases of satire?

[–]Cyralea 0 points1 point ago

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Might be the case. We'll need to coin a term for the memetic adaption of Poe's Law into other areas...might I suggest Moe's Law?

[–]zifu 0 points1 point ago

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RE RE FWD FWD FWD:

[–]RetlaOge 1 point2 points ago

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[–]meritory 0 points1 point ago

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Hey that's funny, I think exactly the opposite!

[–]acefredfred 0 points1 point ago

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OLD

[–]stlunatic15 -1 points0 points ago

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Facepalm

[–]MPinsky -4 points-3 points ago

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She has a point.

[–]zau64 -1 points0 points ago

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I assume there was sarcasm in that statement that several people did not catch.

[–]Stratten -1 points0 points ago

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People are dumb.

[–]Sevren -2 points-1 points ago

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.............................Wat?

[–]SuperFerret3 2 points3 points ago

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That is NOT how you spell "what"!

[–]Chickenstew 3 points4 points ago

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Wut?

[–]raydeen 1 point2 points ago

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[–]quv -1 points0 points ago

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I loved this so much.

[–]RoseforMVP -1 points0 points ago

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It's better to eat meat that came from a factory than meat that got to live a full life in the wild!

[–]karlbarx -1 points0 points ago

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derp.

[–]sprx101 -1 points0 points ago

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........

[–]AwesomeIncarnate -1 points0 points ago

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Oblivious much?

[–]jimhfisher -1 points0 points ago

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This belongs at /r/dipshit.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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I don't eat meat because I can't trust it. (re: Chemical/antibiotic/genetic modification "treatments"). I thought it was bad in Canada... then I moved to the States where the public is hardly aware of CAFO. Yes I know we treat vegetables in similar ways, I buy organic. yes I know organic doesn't mean they have used zero chemicals on it, but I don't have room for a garden. Dilemmas.

[–]khanfusion 3 points4 points ago

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There are no animal GMO products on the market, and as far as antibiotics and growth hormone go, they don't translate into finished animal products.

Do better research.

[–]StupidDogCoffee 0 points1 point ago

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But modern farming practices that allow us to support such a huge population while still allowing room for wildlife, parks and human habitation are bad.

Never mind that modern farming practices result in an end product that, according to all available research, is perfectly safe and healthy for human consumption. No, we need to go back to land, labor and resource intensive farming practices. I, for one, want to pay more for the same end product with more waste and more land use dedicated to farming. Who needs national parks anyways?

Also, manure runoff is good for the environment or something. As for livestock antibiotics, who needs it? That stuff needs to go the way of vaccines because lord knows that cows don't need antibiotics to fight off infection and disease.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Yes, there are. Also, "finished animal products"? I do great research, it's my job. I also have a much better understanding of biology than you.

[–]khanfusion 0 points1 point ago

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The first case of genetically modified meat products is currently being considered by the FDA. It has not been fully approved yet, and is in legal entanglement.

Please site something that proves me wrong about the issue of GMO meat products.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Read yours as "there are no gm products on the market" which is why I found it ridiculous. Regardless, please understand when you raise a cow/chicken on GM corn and antibiotics it affects the meat you consume. Here are simplified versions of how

http://envirocancer.cornell.edu/Factsheet/Diet/fs37.hormones.cfm

Consider these few points I don't think I need to elaborate on: -Proteins produced by GE genes may be allergens (cause allergies) -Protein production via new genetic combinations have unknown effects -Human resistance to antibiotics -Little research on development in children

Certain animals, mainly cows are not meant to eat corn (let alone GM- Monsanto corn). This is taken from SA:

"It's hard on cows, whose stomachs are specially designed to break down the cellulose in grass, leading to an epidemic of antibiotic use. Also, humans may lose out on beneficial omega-3 fatty acids—important for development of the nervous system and heart health—when they consume corn-fed as opposed to grass-fed beef."

You mean food supply when you talk about animals on the market, but technically:

http://www.councilforresponsiblegenetics.org/GeneWatch/GeneWatchPage.aspx?pageId=334

http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/archive/pharming/index.html

Ex) A genetically engineered egg develops in a host to create a transgenic goat that produces a biotechnology product in its milk. Nuclei from the transgenic goat are transferred into donor eggs, which develop into cloned transgenic goats.

[–]khanfusion 0 points1 point ago

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1) We were talking specifically about meat. You should have assumed I was talking specifically about GE meat, even if I hadn't specified. 2) None of your links mention how antibiotics affect the meat of these animals. 3) All proteins are potentially allergens. Whether they are GE are not is irrelevant. 4) I find it funny that the one source you use in quotes, you do not bother to link or actually identify. What is "SA"? 5) Your links are not scathing condemnations of GE, but rather are somewhat positive. You should read your sources before trying to use them to prove your point. 6) What was was the point of your "Example"? Just a random fact that had nothing do to with our particular topic of food safety?

I could go on, but those are just six glaring errors in the argument you've been trying to make.

Look, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're simple a troll trying to rile me up, and that you're not as hopelessly lost as you're coming off. Between this and the whole "antlers don't fall off" thing, you're coming off as a very low level biology student.... possibly freshman level at best. If it true that you are a "researcher," you might want to do more researching and less mouthing off, before you get fired for massive incompetence.

[–]BnGamesReviews -2 points-1 points ago

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Que?

[–]Hacksandlies -2 points-1 points ago

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Ad payed for by Sarah Palin and associates

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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'merica.