When a friend's family member dies ...

mynameisjonas · 1 year

I'm so sorry

Peaches666 · 1 year

X: "Aunt Wilma passed away unexpectedly this morning. We're all very shocked."

Y: "Oh my god, Linda. I'm sorry for you loss. Any idea what happened?"

X: "Sorry, don't want to talk about it on FB."

Y: "..."

/un-friended

Lineage_tw · 1 year

Ya, Google+ is way more intimate.

netraven5000 · 1 year

That's nice, but there are varying levels of friendship, and not everyone on Facebook is a close personal friend and/or has my contact info.

bloodredmoon · 1 year

It's the thought that counts.

ryangravener · 1 year

I don't always talk about sending condolences. But when I do it is on reddit for karma.

TheAtomicPlayboy · 1 year

A few months back a close friend of mine committed suicide. Everybody rushed to his facebook to offer condolences and share memories. It was really hard to see so many people who were never very close to him faking sympathy. One girl especially. I saved what she posted because it was such bullshit:

"Chris, I was so sad to hear the news :(. You were such a sweet guy. My thought and prayers are with your family ♥"

And then less than ten fucking minutes later she posted about how her night was ruined because it was a rerun of Grey's Anatomy. What the fuck. Somebody just died, take the goddam night off from your pretty princess first world problems.

baumkramer · 1 year

Does that make them insincere? Some people actually care about their friends and their friends are aware of it. So much so that they don't care about things this petty.

myinnervoice · 1 year

Give it 30 minutes and you can comment on the Reddit post your friend makes about it instead.

ape_cage · 1 year

There's nothing wrong with sending condolences on facebook to people you don't talk to often. Shut the fuck up.

Bobsaid · 1 year

It's amazing how much it helps to have someone either call or stop by. My grandma passed a few months ago and since I had to fly back east for the wake and what not. Most of my family lives in that area and it was so great having one of my cousins (from the other side of the family) show up at the wake to offer her condolences. It really helped.

tl;dr It's always better in person than online.

raycharlesx · 1 year

I think you just read my mind. My close high school friend's younger sister passed away at 6pm last night. The younger sister was very sweet but she didn't have a lot of friends in high school because she was quiet and more studious. I would talk to her whenever I saw her (usually when with my close friend, or during drama club) and I visited her and her family at the hospital a few days ago in support.

At 9pm, the first thing I see on Facebook once my hometown finds out about her passing? Only a bunch of ditsy girls from my old high school who have NEVER EVER talked to this girl posting stupid "RIP" with tons of <3's and quoting dumb chick flick movies and whatnot.

Meanwhile, my friends and I are offering help and support to my close friend and her family by being there for her.

Fuck that "<3" shit.

KennyFuckingPowers · 1 year

Alternatively, when a family member of mine passes away, I don't whine about it on Facebook. I whine about it on tumblr with emotional pictures talking about how dark and mysterious I am now that my great-uncle died at the age of 89. My life is a dark abyss....

[deleted] · 1 year

I don't think sending condolences on Facebook is so horrid. When my mother passed a few months ago, a flood of messages swept over my wall and inbox. I didn't mind. I was comforted with the fact that so many people took the time to think of something loving to say. I can't say I know how sincere each one was, but it was nice seeing clusters of comforting words directed to me.

GrantSawyer · 1 year

Why? what is so wrong with it? Lets be honest - some people you just aren't that close with - who you would never call cause it would be fucking weird ("hey I haven't talked to you in 5 years but sorry for your loss") but that doesn't mean you can't be empathetic for their pain. Also - do you really want a bunch of people calling you after someone you love dies and being like "wanna talk" or even just having you answer the phone - i'd be like "fuck you man I just wanna cry - email me or someshit"

obviously family and close friends are different.

onetimmy5strings · 1 year

My apologies for the original typo, it has now been rectified.

phenomite1 · 1 year

Why the hell not?

Felipe_O · 1 year

This is basically the theme to my fb right now.

menasan · 1 year

well... a friend of mines dad died last month, and i sent him some advice that was given to me when my mom died - and i sent it through facebook (on a message, not a wall post).

i feel that was appropriate.

but im sure you meant wall posts. wall post condolences are stupid and empty.

GophaKyorselv · 1 year

How is sending a message electronically through a social media website any different than a snail mail letter or a phone call?

OrderlyToaster · 1 year

Ok which on of my friends is on reddit?

drumatix · 1 year

What I don't get is that if people want to do this over Facebook, why not just send a pm? Why on the wall? Must everyone know that they sent their condolences?

People don't shout them at each other IRL and people should pm them if they really need to use FB.

ab26 · 1 year

When my wife's dad died one of the first things I did later that night was to lock down her FB wall. Would you spraypaint condolences on the side of their house or post it on a community bulletin board? I fucking doubt it. Contact them personally. Also I hate when people use deaths as bait for wall gossip. " So shocked and saddened right now". Which leads to 100 "OMG what happened?" It just reeks of being and attention whore.

aviatortrevor · 1 year

I lost a friend about 3 weeks ago in a car accident. People were posting things on his facebook page within the hour. RIDICULOUS. Then the rest of us are finding out about it through facebook, it's absolutely insane. I hope someone deletes my facebook if I die.

kbuz · 1 year

Call them if someone like that happens. I feel like by posting on facebook, your just using your friend's incident as a way to show UR friends that you're a caring and sincere person.

Autoswing · 1 year

I don't see anything wrong with using fb for what its intended for (convenience). I'd rather not have a billion people calling and texting me asking me what happened when I could post it once and be done with it.

hippiemama · 1 year

A nine year old boy in my town was killed Friday night. A truck flipped over and landed on him and killed him instantly while he was riding his bike. The mother's wall has over 100 comments from the community offering condolences, prayers, and support. I thought it was sweet. A lot of people didn't even know her or her child - but were heart broken over the tragic event.

The funeral was today... I have been in tears because I knew the boy since he was a friend of both my boys. I couldn't imagine what his mother is going through.

sorry for rambling, this post just struck a chord with me today. Life is so short.

venustas · 1 year

When my mother passed away, I suddenly had dozens of condolences on my FB wall, and a huge influx of friend requests from people I went to high school from. They all messaged me with the same basic phrase. "If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you." That pissed me off more than anything ever has. You haven't spoken to me in three years, but suddenly someone very important to me dies and you want to ride on the sympathy wagon? Fuck off.

fucking_leverpostej · 1 year

This is almost how I feel like birthday greetings on FB. And also why I enjoy telephone calls from people I actually talk to since my birthday's hidden on that damned website.

felixdraait · 1 year

Very true. I also hate when people write 'RIP', as if they think an abbreviation is the most fitting way to pay their respects.

I realize it's a very common abbreviation, but to me it's like saying 'Oh BTW: RIP, LOL'. It's not like you have to carve it in marble, you can go through the trouble of writing it out in full.

intangible-tangerine · 1 year

I have PMd people on facebook for this before saying 'I'm afraid I don't have your email/tel no but want to let you know I'm thinking of you ... etc' Facebook tribute groups giving people a space to share memories can be good, a friend passed away from cancer and the group turned in to a fundraising group to honour her. It only bothers me when the grief is insincere or when the spelling/grammar is bad. I use txt spk a lot on facebook, but if I were to give condolences I would damn well take the time to write standard English. I've literally come across stuff like 'sooo soz dat ur bro dyeddd, i'm finkin of u!' nice sentiment but written with zero care and respect.

Fogl · 1 year

When I told one of my best friends that my father had died due to Alcholism. He started rambling about the effects of Alcohol, and then went to his computer to show me statistics of Alcohol related deaths...

Moral is, if you're no good at these situations. Facebook could be a better alternative.

TL;TR Shitty friends

lamqta · 1 year

Seriously, what's with people posting about a deceased loved one on Facebook?!

"rly sry 4 your loss dude"

"yeah, sorry"

"sure, what he said"

People who care about you will know if you tell them and will want to talk to you in person or at least on the phone. Posting a 10-word comment is a lose-lose: if you do it, it's not enough. If you don't, you're the biggest asshole for not even taking the 20 seconds to write something.

brokenzion410 · 1 year

you mean Fackbook?

argherna · 1 year

Stay sympathetic, my friends...

yascha · 1 year

Did they die in the earthquake?

kiwi1855 · 1 year

I agree. As well as those "in memory" or "for x disease". I refuse to repost those. I will donate to organizations, volunteer, etc; but putting it on facebook to be all "look at me, I care about something" is annoying. There. I said it. Get off the computer, out of the house, and volunteer, raise money, do something tangible to raise awareness. A status post gets buried and only pisses people off.

meeanne · 1 year

My cousin just died last week, I feel like I'm the only cousin who hasn't said RIP on fb... this is the perfect meme to explain why. I really wanna post this on FB, but I feel like all my cousins would hate me.

WreckerCrew · 1 year

And I don't make a post in reddit begging for condolences and upvotes.

[deleted] · 1 year

I don't always congratulate myself for etiquette, but when I do,

I do it on reddit, in meme form.

[deleted] · 1 year

Actually this post might be directed at me. Literally JUST did this last week lol...

evilalive · 1 year

I don't even like wishing Happy Birthday's on FB. If people had any sense of friendship, they would be calling them.

gijen3 · 1 year

Good hell this deserves more upvotes!

thatatheistkid · 1 year

I miss Pedro.

adltmstr · 1 year

classy!

kiskiliskis · 1 year

I just has a comment battle about this topic in my high school facebook group when one of our batch mate died of cancer, and everyone gave all their condolences and prayers via posts there. I was like wtf people? and they even tagged the dead on their posts. I told this is crazy and they were just like, beat it dude, we don't give a shit. I don't want to live in this world anymore.

[deleted] · 1 year

Please submit all 'Advice Animals' submissions to /r/AdviceAnimals.

These low-quality, low-content, memetic submissions clutter the 'new' queue, making it difficult for both submitters and voters to provide quality content.

guessesyourage · 1 year

Judging by your photo, 57

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