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730
731

Neandertallica! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by dickwolfe

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all 67 comments
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[–]lordeddardstark 69 points70 points ago

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Enter Caveman!

[–]gimli666 14 points15 points ago

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i prefer Master of Mammoths

[–]Osiris32 6 points7 points ago

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Call of Cro-magnon

[–]speqter 7 points8 points ago

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Stone Age Cold Crazy

[–]ErroneousEric 6 points7 points ago

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Trapped Under Ice.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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The God That Failed (to mention them in the bible)

[–]uncle_tambour 25 points26 points ago

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I'm not sure that isn't actually Lars Ulrich.

[–]tsulahmi 6 points7 points ago

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Actually looks a lot more like Robert Trujillo

[–]ccraven95 34 points35 points ago

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Wait.. Robert Trujillo plays bass, drums, and keyboard now?

[–]johnnyhala 0 points1 point ago

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The first one, on bass, looks especially like Trujillo.

[–]Going_to_Pasalacqua 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking came here to post this.

[–]kidt82 6 points7 points ago

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I'm sad :( http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ia9jn/neandertallica/

[–]arod187 1 point2 points ago

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You fool, you didn't use an exclamation mark in your title.

[–]junkafarian 26 points27 points ago

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This picture is ridiculous...

...There's no keyboard player in Metallica

[–]Strideo 10 points11 points ago

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There is in Neandertallica!

[–]TheBassCave 5 points6 points ago

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Queens of the Stone Age.

[–]SGMN 13 points14 points ago

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Lol at the comments.

OP didn't find this in a textbook at school.

This picture has been floating around the net for about a month now.

A simple google search of "Neandertallica" clearly shows that this isn't OC (original content) http://www.google.com.au/search?q=Neandertallica&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1280&bih=681

(I'm not saying that this isn't funny, I'm just informing the misinformed)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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More like years. I saw this once a few years back.

[–]goodnightspoon 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks Internet Police!

[–]Varmi 2 points3 points ago

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The end of the Homo Genus

[–]balancedhighs 2 points3 points ago

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Please. Nobody moan about drawing on textbooks, this is awesome.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Does this remind anyone else of the Caveman Rock game in Dr. Brain's Time Warp?

I can't be the only one who played this.

[–]steve8093 2 points3 points ago

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Gimme fossil fuel gimme fireee!

[–]neckbishop 2 points3 points ago

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So easy even a caveman can do it

[–]bigkshep 2 points3 points ago

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Trapped under ice!!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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You actually didn't even make those illustrations any less realistic than they already were.

EDIT: <rant mode> I have no idea why artists always depict Neanderthals as monkey-men. They were a geographical race of humans which merged with immigrants from north africa to form what is the present population of europe. They had religious rituals, they wore clothes, they had language, they even had musical instruments. They probably looked a lot like stocky and fair-skinned australian aborigines or japanese ainu. </rant>

[–]neanderthalman 20 points21 points ago

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Some of us continue to blend into your society unnoticed.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago*

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All kidding aside, I think it would be perfectly possible for a neanderthal from 50000 years ago to blend right in to society today. He'd look a bit odd, with weak chin, prominent eyebrows, and big nose, but not unacceptably so. Reconstructions of facial features where the reconstruction assumes european rather than australoid morphology end up looking pretty interesting: 1, 2

It's worth considering that the cro-magnon who immigrated from africa were almost certainly black (though they're almost never reconstructed as such) and the result of the mix was, well, the europeans.

[–]neanderthalman 13 points14 points ago

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My username is not actually a novelty. It's based on an argument I had with an anthropology professor about a decade ago - specifically that the variation in skull features that defined neanderthals as a separate species are smaller than the skull/dentition variations that we can see between different populations today. We aren't all different species today, so why would we think neanderthals were a different species or subspecies? This was before I realized that "species" is nothing more than an artificial construct and is difficult to apply to a fossil line, but the point remains. To me there appears to be less variation between the two populations at the time of sapiens and neandertalensis than we see in modern populations today.

On top of that, my skull and skeleton, through some careful prodding, seems to have some of the so called 'characteristic' neanderthal features. Supraorbital ridge, weak chin, barrel chest (seriously - 52" around my lower ribcage, back when you could see my fucking ribs). Shorter, squatter legs, heavy bone structure. Even have a bit of an occipital bun, but that could be stretching a bit.

I don't look much different than your first photo, though my skin is younger.

[–]k20a 5 points6 points ago

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Fellow anthropologists and dialect like this make my day browsing reddit so early.

[–]I_give_insults 2 points3 points ago

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Dialogue?

[–]k20a 1 point2 points ago

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Really early.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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He just means not a list of memes and pop culture references.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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the variation in skull features that defined neanderthals as a separate species are smaller than the skull/dentition variations that we can see between different populations today. We aren't all different species today, so why would we think neanderthals were a different species or subspecies?

Yes. Incidentally the same is true of Pääbo et al's claim that molecular evidence showed that neanderthals were a separate species.

On top of that, my skull and skeleton, through some careful prodding, seems to have some of the so called 'characteristic' neanderthal features.

Quite possibly. There exist no unique diagnostic character which separates neanderthalensis from sapiens. To the best of my knowledge there exist no incontravertible evidence of any speciation event at all in the human phylogeny after H. erectus. This includes the "flores hobbits" and the several purported new species found the last few years in central asia.

Now, I am not a paleoanthropologist, I am molecular geneticist specializing in phylogeny reconstruction, but the issue has interested me since I read Pääbo's Nature article where he raised neanderthalensis to full species status, and was struck by how fundamentally flawed it was. Paleoanthropology could learn a lot about things like species concepts and phylogeny reconstruction from other, less prestigious, fields of science - and I suppose eventually they will. In the meantime I'm just going to have to suffer shit like this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The first humans in Europe probably did mix with the local Neanderthals but there's been so many migrations to Europe in the last 40000 years that modern Europeans have close to 0% ancestry from them. The Neanderthal admixture in Eurasians/Oceanians/Americans/North Africans is from Middle Eastern Neanderthals.

[–]hdog42 1 point2 points ago

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I havent seen the movie in a while but reading this comment I feel like you are partly quoting "The Man from Earth"? It may just sound familiar. Enlighten me please

[–]SteelChicken 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, you're noticed, but as long as you toe the line no action will be taken.

[–]neanderthalman 0 points1 point ago

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And you get an upvote for not saying "tow the line".

[–]beatles910 1 point2 points ago

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They had religious rituals, they wore clothes, they had language, they even had musical instruments.

So from day one they had these things? Isn't it possible that there were times when they were more "monkey-man" like. We are talking about a long span of existence here. I'm sure at one time they truly were cave men.

[–]Brownra04 1 point2 points ago

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I really want the story for this to be that you just found this picture in all of its glory in one of your used textbooks, hopefully while in the middle of a class or very quiet library.

[–]dickwolfe[S] 4 points5 points ago

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I wish I had this kind of awesome imagination to pull of something like this :)

[–]oblivision 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry to tell you that this is pretty old actually.

[–]ola75 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you! You made my day.

[–]someguy945 1 point2 points ago

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No two people are not on fire.

[–]TheMediaSays 1 point2 points ago

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Metal before metalworking was discovered.

[–]the__itis 1 point2 points ago

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Cliff wouldn't have to change his name.

[–]dimmu_borgeoisie 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sure this dude is a better drummer than Lars.

[–]Empo 1 point2 points ago

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Stone-Age Cold Crazy

[–]Pinhedd 1 point2 points ago

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Dude Metallica doesn't have a keyboardist.

[–]DreadTaco 1 point2 points ago

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accurately describes the quality of the band

[–]lestat_ 1 point2 points ago

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its russian textbook

[–]nogoodlazybastard 1 point2 points ago

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MONEY GOOD! NAPSTER BAD!

[–]AINullPointer 3 points4 points ago

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Repost...

[–]mattclegg 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for reposting the obvious

[–]ddam 2 points3 points ago

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Welp, thanks a lot. This receptionist now thinks I'm insane. Can't even show her the source of my LoLs 'cause she doesn't speak English.

[–]I_give_insults 4 points5 points ago

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You sound like a fucking creep.

[–]kflann1 0 points1 point ago

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Repost.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dickwolfe[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Ice burn!

[–]kflann1 1 point2 points ago

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LOL! Fuckin' Metallica.

[–]stokd 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant: http://youtu.be/389DkzjHpus

[–]bamage00 0 points1 point ago

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That guitar is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

[–]RetlaOge 0 points1 point ago

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Repostallica!

[–]GeorgeForeman98 0 points1 point ago

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Rock Before Rock was Metal.

[–]Ejdl 0 points1 point ago

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At least it's not crabcore.

[–]0RespectMyAuthority0 0 points1 point ago

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Looks exactly like Rob Trujillo..

[–]CaptInsane 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe Neanderdreamtheater or neanderpraxis--neanderliquidtensionexperiment even--but no neandermetallica

[–]Milkshaker74 0 points1 point ago

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Crazy Kids! You do realise your not going to get your book deposit back now don't you?

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