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all 122 comments

[–]TheBlackHive 106 points107 points ago

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That title sounds more like it belongs on r/shittyadvice.

[–]upboats_for_you 19 points20 points ago

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Cersei Lannister?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Man, we just had one of these threads about his cousin!

[–]Johssy 1 point2 points ago

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As long as its silly and nonsexual...?

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]applejade 14 points15 points ago

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Was the younger one really the victim? The victim sibling looks older to me...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]simplicio 6 points7 points ago

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I'm actually the younger one in this, but I'm the blonde one doing the jumping.

Holy shit! That's me too!

[–]Predator_ 5 points6 points ago

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Shut up! This is also of me!

[–]TheUrge 7 points8 points ago

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I'M Spartacus!

[–]Sir_Knumskull 2 points3 points ago

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Do you remember what you were thinking? Were you trying to abort the jump when you saw him, but was unable to?

[–]ab3nnion 1 point2 points ago

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He was resentful of your size, I think.

[–]haxored 2 points3 points ago

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Got the original video?

[–]themastersb 1 point2 points ago

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PAW PAW?

[–]AQMessiah 23 points24 points ago

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My older brother once stapled my ass cheek...fucking bastard.

[–]yabba_dabba_doo 13 points14 points ago

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Mine once poured hot tea in my neck. Psychopath.

[–]zenith369 23 points24 points ago

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mine once made me cake that WASN'T chocolate cake. Asshat.

[–]robeph 14 points15 points ago

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Mine once....lol nevermind, I'm the oldest brother.

[–]youremomsoriginal 2 points3 points ago

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I only have sisters :(

[–]struan 6 points7 points ago

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Oh, you poor bastard. Those fuckers are evil.

[–]White_Hamster 11 points12 points ago

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Was it poop?

[–]problemsolvingpenis 2 points3 points ago

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Mine once broke my hand.

[–]cjdowney 3 points4 points ago

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Mine once ran me over with an RV.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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My brother poured a cup of urine on my face whilst I was sleeping, then insisted it was just warm salty water.

[–]seg-fault 1 point2 points ago

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You probably had a sore throat and didn't know it.

[–]Uxidaa 0 points1 point ago

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Proof: it's always better to be pissed off than pissed on

[–]eclipse007 7 points8 points ago

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On the way down the stairs at our home, there was a spot where the ceiling was lower (with an angle). One time I was running downstairs and tried to jump the last few and hit the top of my head pretty badly to the ceiling. Went to hospital and got 7 stitches.

Anyway, next morning still bandaged my younger brother and I end up in one of our regular fights. One moment I'm holding him from behind and that bastard grabs a fucking pen and stabs me right on top of my head with it. The stitches had to be redone. Fucker didn't even apologize. Him being the younger brother, this was all of course my fault.

[–]RavenRaving 4 points5 points ago

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My friend came to me and admitted she thought her 2 older sons were going to kill each other, literally. She had taken a butcher knife away from one earlier in the day as he was running into the yard to confront his sibling. The boys were 16 and 17. They had been in serious, ferocious competition all their lives.
I think working on the problem when they are smaller has to be easier.

[–]the-cakeboss 0 points1 point ago

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My mom thought the same thing of my brother and I. Pretty ridiculous thought actually. We are now the best of friends.

[–]RavenRaving 0 points1 point ago

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Eh. I don't know. These boys, when 5 and 4, banged their 18 month old younger brother's head on the hardwood floor until he developed status epilepticus. Up until that time, the mom's philosophy had been 'He's got 2 older brothers. He's going to have to learn to handle himself.' After he almost died, the parenting philosophy changed a bit. I'm glad you and your brother are the best of friends. These guys live on opposite sides of the country, but are capable of being in the same room at family reunions. At least for a few hours.

[–]Ichiinu 5 points6 points ago

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My younger brother started falling down the stairs, so I had to leap up them to catch him before he fell a second step.

Asshat made me work to keep his skull intact ಠ_ಠ

[–]phykicks 3 points4 points ago

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Mine bit me in the neck when I caught him falling.

[–]MyUsernameIsJudge 3 points4 points ago

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My older sister slammed a door on my finger so hard that the tip of my ring finger fell off. Then she ran and hid under the couch.

Also she once tried to put me in a baby stroller on our back porch when I was really little and she dropped me headfirst onto the steps. Which are brick.

Also I got a turtle and since we couldn't have 2 pets she decided to throw my turtle over the fence so she could get a cat.

[–]6h057 2 points3 points ago*

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My sister pushed my brother down the stairs in his walker when he was only a few months old. They're a year apart and very competitive.

[–]youngruffian 4 points5 points ago

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mine once pepper sprayed me

[–]INGSOCtheGREAT 3 points4 points ago

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Getting stapled isnt that bad. I have been stapled well over 50 times.

[–]AQMessiah 4 points5 points ago

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It was with this.

[–]bluefinity 1 point2 points ago

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It even has a "HEAVY DUTY" sign.

[–]Curious_Ape 2 points3 points ago

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My younger brother once poked me in the eye with a butter knife..coulda been worse but I am the older brother o.0

[–]cc_me 1 point2 points ago

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Mine made me laugh so hard when he knew I was already busting, that I peed on the carpet.

[–]nothas 1 point2 points ago

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when i was 6 i told my three year old brother that aspirin was candy. parents had to call poison control and make him throw up. i must have thought that it might be candy, but wanted to try it out on him first or something

[–]landragoran 1 point2 points ago

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my younger brother tried to kick my youngest brother.

my youngest brother happened to have a butter knife in his hand. things ended badly for the one doing the kicking as the knife pierced the top of his foot and sent him to the emergency room for stitches.

[–]SpongeJim 16 points17 points ago

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My brother did that to me at the beach off of a floating dock. We were older than that (about 12 and 10 or something) and he jumped up and did a two-footed smash on the top of my skull. My neck wrenched and I was a bit woozy and spent the rest of the day on the beach trying to remember where I was. He seemed rather pleased with that result.

[–]JmizzleDizzle 5 points6 points ago

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video?

[–]SpongeJim 0 points1 point ago

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Sadly no, I wish I did have video so I could show him what a dick he was back then. Somehow I think he'd probably rationalize it as I "deserved" it for something. I believe it was a situation where I had proved him wrong about something earlier in the day in front of our mutual friends (it was a birthday party).

[–]welcometaerf 4 points5 points ago

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When I was a lad, we all took swimming lessons at the local pool during the summer. There was a kid there named Derreck who was a real asshat. However, he usually got special treatment because he was adopted and he had some sort of learning disability. One day, he's trying to scare the younger kids by swimming underwater and then surfacing behind them and screaming and whatnot. I kinda lose track of him, and then decide to jump in the pool. He surfaces mere moments before I hit the water and my balls end up getting crushed by his skull. He bawls like a baby and gets hauled up out of the pool while I'm writhing in silent agony and trying not to drown. About five minutes later I've caught my breath and get out of the water so I can track my friends down and relay what happened. I find that little fuck double-fisting ice cream while his fat mom coos over her precious baby. As I crab-walk by, this asshole has the gall to smirk at me. I never got my revenge, and I still hate that kid. Thanks for opening up old wounds. I'm gonna go ice down my balls now.

[–]bettse 2 points3 points ago

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learning disability

...

I never got my revenge

I think you did by not having a learning disability.

[–]welcometaerf 2 points3 points ago

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I have a feeling they just said he was disabled to excuse his shitty behavior. Hell, chances are good that he's in prison now. I should really look him up...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Revenge is sweeter than blue balls and ice cream....

[–]welcometaerf 1 point2 points ago

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I think I'm gonna find that bastard and eat ice cream while I take my revenge. Best of both worlds.

[–]Samrockswin 9 points10 points ago

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Did anyone else think of professional wrestling?

[–]gsigi22 9 points10 points ago

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The real meaning of headbutt.

[–]notcaptainkirk 4 points5 points ago

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HOLY SHIT!!!! He hit the kid so hard, HE GREW ARMS!

[–]jberryman 2 points3 points ago

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Perfectly timed fart-tackle.

[–]Monsieur_Flotini 0 points1 point ago

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That's all i could think of...

That and then the poor little tyke surfacing to a haunting smell inescapably settling on the water.

[–]SuperFerret3 7 points8 points ago

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You younger siblings had it coming.

[–]sbrick89 24 points25 points ago

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And instead if doing anything, I'll just keep recording.

Way to parent.

[–]White_Hamster 25 points26 points ago

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I used to break up my two kids fighting (2 and 4 now) and you get to a point where mediating every single fight means they don't learn to resolve anything on their own (like taking turns and playing together), and they get to a point where they can't play with kids without needing you there as a judge.

[–]bettse 22 points23 points ago

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When in doubt, beat them both.

[–]pintocat -1 points0 points ago

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It's not really a fight. At those ages, that's a huge difference in strength and ability. Not a fair fight at all. You're leaving the younger to get beaten at the mercy of the older.

[–]White_Hamster 6 points7 points ago

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I mean, they're not boxing, more like stealing toys and yelling, maybe pushing a little at the end. But the 4 year old is smallish and the 2 year old is bigish, so if it were a toddler fightclub, the ref would allow it

[–]friedrice5005 2 points3 points ago

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Toddler Fight Club...I feel like I would watch this movie.

[–]classwell 5 points6 points ago

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BOY FIGHTS

[–]new_player 0 points1 point ago

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A regular Boy Fights Cookout.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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True. You will be his hero and you will be known by his friends as the cool brother.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Even better, his friends will drool over you. You will be known as the cool, hot older sister.

[–]Stregano 0 points1 point ago

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fuck yeah baby doll. fuck with his friends by giving them side boob every now and again so that they whisper to each other, "dude, your older sister is so hot"

[–]ech87 2 points3 points ago

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my older brother once chopped the end of my little finger off with a pair of scissors on the way home from school...

[–]dafones 2 points3 points ago

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He was protecting his younger brother from crashing into the wall.

[–]optimus_crime33 6 points7 points ago

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Who just stands there filming that?!

[–]farsightxr20 27 points28 points ago

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An even older sibling?

[–]BlameArticuno 0 points1 point ago

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Backyard Boy Fights: Pool Edition!

[–]bonerbonebronberoner 3 points4 points ago

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MY OLDER BROTHER RUINED MY LIFE BY BEING BETTER AND COOLER THAN ME

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Nice try, bonerbonebronberoner's older brother.

[–]without_a_face 3 points4 points ago

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FATALITY

[–]yellis 2 points3 points ago

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On holiday once I jumped in the pool to scare my sister, mid-jump i realised I was going to land on her which would hurt her a lot as she's about a third of my size, so in panic i stretched out my legs and did anything I could to avoid hitting her, jammed both my legs at the bottom of the pool and my feet turned purple, that bitch. God it hurt.

[–]meangrampa 1 point2 points ago

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Just watch out for the revenge bloodshed in the middle of the night.

[–]madethisnameforthis 1 point2 points ago

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pretty well executed atomic leg drop, brotherrrrr

[–]Crumps_brother 1 point2 points ago

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SLAP INTO A SLIM JIM!!!

[–]Wowbringer 1 point2 points ago

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The words just naturally flow... FINISH HIM....

[–]troymckin 1 point2 points ago

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thats what he gets for looking like a mini hitler.

[–]NULLACCOUNT 1 point2 points ago

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That is fucking awesome.

[–]HatersGunnaHate 1 point2 points ago

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Cool, calculated, precise. Remember when you ate the last fucking Starburst?!

[–]juntmaster 1 point2 points ago

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"because it was funny"

[–]katyn 1 point2 points ago

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nailed it.

[–]enty86 1 point2 points ago

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While watching this, all I can think is "Why are you stilling standing there recording?? HELP the drowning child!!!"

[–]bobstay 0 points1 point ago

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If a child doesn't drown a few times when they're young, they never learn to save themselves.

[–]jmart0330 1 point2 points ago

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Hahabfunny.stuff

[–]myztry 1 point2 points ago

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My younger brother once wanted a lift home on my pushbike. I told him he had to grab the nearby electric fence first. He flicked the fence and nothing happened. So he grabbed the fence as he turned to gloat at me - then the jolt came.

I laughed all the way home - on my own... Muahahaha

(I also once buried him to his neck at the beach. When he got home he said an old lady dug him out... Maybe I was a little nasty to him...)

[–]Commenterz 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a lifeguard and I found this terribly hilarious.

[–]nkplague 2 points3 points ago

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We need a Fuck Younger Siblings Retaliation. You have to baby them until they are half able to take care of themselves and they get pissed when you have fun with them once in a while :P

[–]vlddaimplr 1 point2 points ago

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I have done that

[–]esssssss 1 point2 points ago

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boom. headshot.

[–]VladSmiljanic 1 point2 points ago

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Waders gonna wade

[–]dafragsta 1 point2 points ago

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as an older sibling, I've done things like this, but the little shits did things like this far more often.

[–]nakdamink 1 point2 points ago

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Deal with it younger sibling, I'm bigger then you

[–]ReverendSlack 1 point2 points ago

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It's a good life lesson

[–]boamundus 0 points1 point ago

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I though you were supposed not to fuck your siblings?

[–]coyote1284 0 points1 point ago

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What you do with your family in West Virginia is your own business; I will not fuck my siblings, older or younger, half or step.

[–]Narcoat 0 points1 point ago

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The look the attacker gave the camera after jumping is what made this so great.

[–]pianotuner 0 points1 point ago

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We need some Asian parenting in this.

[–]plinky4 0 points1 point ago

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I love those old 80s buckle-on vests and water wings.

My brother and I were the Legion of Doom.

[–]MadHatter69 0 points1 point ago

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HEADSHOT!

[–]Defender 0 points1 point ago

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This is the slowest loading gif I have ever seen.

[–]BeatArmy99 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, the torture I laid upon my younger brothers. It was daily, and unrelenting. Times are different now, and I'm lucky that the youngest one only grew to equal my size.

[–]Captinglorydays 0 points1 point ago

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Next WWE world champion

[–]cmilla 0 points1 point ago

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I can still remember my older bro keeping me pinned at the bottom of the pool for +20 seconds at a time. Precious memories.

[–]hassiand 0 points1 point ago

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my older sister use to pin me down and fart in my face. And they weren't your normal run of the mill farts. They where, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING? HAS SOMETHING CRAWLED INSIDE AND DIED, farts.

[–]Suprbad 0 points1 point ago

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BOOM!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for just the title. God I have horror stories...

Also funny pic. :)

[–]MegatonBeard 0 points1 point ago

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MEGATON LEG DROP!

[–]kal777 0 points1 point ago

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I've had that happen once. Only instead of an older sibling, it was some random kid at a public pool.

[–]terminalcomputer 0 points1 point ago

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You sunk my battleship.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Upvotes are Younger Siblings...Downvotes are Older Siblings

[–]dan-o07 -1 points0 points ago

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Ah...the old leg drop your brother in the pool while hes floating around move...good times

[–]azsincitymagic -1 points0 points ago

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[–]igiarmpr -1 points0 points ago

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I was reading the cousin-incest-iama and I thought this was something along those lines

[–]Intelligent_response -1 points0 points ago

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I cannot condone copulation with siblings of matured age.

[–]Unspoken -1 points0 points ago

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Why do people still use tiny pic?... its only a matter of time til it goes down.

[–]mastashakee -2 points-1 points ago

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Ehh, incest is not really my thing...

[–]Unspoken -2 points-1 points ago

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Why do people still use tiny pic?... its only a matter of time til it goes down.

[–]Unspoken -2 points-1 points ago

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Why do people still use tiny pic?... its only a matter of time til it goes down.