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top 200 commentsshow all 265

[–]Safari_Ken 266 points267 points ago

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Brock does everything like a boss.

[–]knirefnel 108 points109 points ago

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[–]RelatedTranscript 75 points76 points ago*

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Pirate 1 shoves his hand inside Brock's ass

Pirate 1: I can't believe I gotta swab the 'poop deck'.

Pirate 2: Hey, remember how you complained when we hit that Red Cross ship? (whiny voice) "Oh, what are we gonna do with 20 crates of rubber gloves?"

Pirate 1: I totally take it back.

Pirate 2 lights a cigarette while Brock strains from the anal probing.

Brock: Hey buddy... I'd kill for one of those right about now.

Pirate 2: My last pack!

Brock: It'll help me relax...

Pirate 1: Dude! Give him one!

(Brock groans.)

Pirate 1: Please!

Pirate 2: No, screw him! Pirates don't give people cigarettes! They take them!

(Brock clenches his anus as hard as he can, trapping Pirate 1's hand.)

Pirate 1: AHHHHHH MY FRIGGIN OWWWW WAY OVER MY ARM (unintelligible screaming)

Pirate 2 stands dumbfounded as Brock swings Pirate 1 into him using his ass.

[–]EncasedMeats 18 points19 points ago

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Easily the most useful novelty account yet.

[–]suddenly_ponies 2 points3 points ago

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Don't forget these?

[–]telegrams 2 points3 points ago

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oh god the middle one. ZALGO!

[–]suddenly_ponies 0 points1 point ago

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Her name is Derpy :)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]troyec001 4 points5 points ago

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Most people just shake their head...

[–]Secrete_Persona 2 points3 points ago

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He's Japanese.

[–]XxXBlOoDKillaXxX 27 points28 points ago

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Can someone explain what exactly is happening in this scene?

[–]girafa 68 points69 points ago

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Brock (mullet guy) held prisoner by pirates. Pirates want key to the boat. Brock claims he hid it in his ass. Dares them to check. "What if he's lying?" a pirate asks. "If he was telling the truth, would that make things better?" the other reasons. They investigate his ass with terminal results.

[–]bluntwar 22 points23 points ago

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no description available for this video

[–]r_spiders_link 25 points26 points ago

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Description found here.

[–]Hyro0o0 115 points116 points ago

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You are my least favorite novelty account.

[–]arachnophilia 62 points63 points ago

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i think he's my favorite.

[–]GreyDeuteronomy 9 points10 points ago

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I hope your RES tag for him says "Easy to masturbate to."

[–]HMS_Pathicus 2 points3 points ago

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One day that novelty account will have lost its novelty and nobody will make comments like yours. That day I will unwittingly click on his links, without any forewarning or the mental preparedness to bear it.

Until then, thank you. Today I have been spared 5 times thanks to users like yourself.

[–]r_spiders_link 17 points18 points ago

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But they're so friendly!

[–]drmedic09 7 points8 points ago

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Why?! Why?! Why do I keep clicking your links?!

[–]InvisiblePants 1 point2 points ago

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Keep fighting the good fight, friend.

[–]lediablerouge 1 point2 points ago

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I'm actually completely cool with this.

[–]OppositeNoveltyAcct 4 points5 points ago

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I find this one more accurate.

[–]Hello-Universe 14 points15 points ago*

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Ok, well, I was going to make a witty comment about how puny the spiders are around my house compared to this, and how, if I ever found that motherfucker lurking in my house, I'd give it a ride to the nearest gas station, drop it off beside the fuel pumps, and call in a fucking airstrike.

But you know what? I couldn't find any pictures of a puny spider. My search began with "Small spider" on google images, which led me to this pretty little thing. So I decided to be more specific, I searched for "Tiny spider." This magnificent little fucker is what those search terms yielded, and just to rub it in, he's got a little smiley face on his abdomen as if he is laughing at me, telling me he is going to bite me in the nutsack when I am sleeping and dissolve my organs through my urethra. So I decided to be even more specific.

I searched for "Basic house spider", and what was returned to me simply cannot be described through the english launguage. Actually, I don't think it can be described at all, in any language, because just looking at it would make any normal human being die instantaneously from cardiac arrest. This is what was unleashed in my peripheral vision as I was turning to run away but slipped on my own piss and shit and fell into a pool of my own vomit.

But I am not one to give up easily. I picked myself up off the floor and accepted the fact that I do not know how to use a search engine. I was sure there was a picture of the common, tiny, harmless house spider that lurks in the dark corners of my hallways. I would only find this through persistence, so I wiped the fecal matter off my computer screen and continued searching. I decided to search for "NORMAL FUCKING SPIDER", and what did I find? I certainly did not find any normal fucking spider. What I found defies all that is normal. It flips evolution upside down and will forever haunt my dreams. I assure you, I will never sleep again..

[–]varikin 2 points3 points ago

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When I was in basic training in Ft Knox, my battle buddy was bitten in the nut sack by a brown recluse while sleeping.

Listening to him having to explain why he had to go the sick call to the drill sergeants was hilarious. They kept laughing until he pulled is pants down. I was smart to not look, but the look of horror on everyone else's face was enough for me.

tl;dr buddy got bit on nut sack by spider.

[–]r_spiders_link 8 points9 points ago

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Pretty sure the first one is a camel spider. Pic of adults.

I can't tell what the second one is, but the third is a necrotic spider bite. I dug up your last pic a while ago, I'm not sure if it was fake but I found the same bird/spider from a couple different angles. Might be real.

But despite me being desensitized to the point where I can eat breakfast while I dish out terror from this account, this one makes me cringe every time. (yo dawg, i herd u liek spiders)

[–]kilo4fun 7 points8 points ago

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The first pic of the camel spiders is intentionally cropped to be misleading with a trick of perspective to make them look much larger than they really are. You can easily see through it just by looking at the sleeve and the hand holding the critters in the right side of the picture.

Fun fact, camel spiders aren't actually spiders at all!

[–]r_spiders_link 3 points4 points ago

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I am beaten. I surrender all my karma to you.

[–]NotTrying2Hard 5 points6 points ago

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I hate you.

[–]manwithwings92 7 points8 points ago

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NOPE NOPE NOPE

[–]arachnophilia 1 point2 points ago

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cool. where can i get one?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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naw bro, naw

[–]thebowski 3 points4 points ago

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You have more than half my comment karma and your account hasn't even existed for a full day. I am a failure.

[–]glglglglgl 5 points6 points ago

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You have a life and not a novelty account?

[–]thebowski 1 point2 points ago

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Nope. My novelty account was TrueTrolling and it's intention was to return the definition of trolling to "asshole who should die in a ditch" instead of "Someone who pranks someone else or does something funny". It was a failure because I couldn't be enough of an asshole and I ended up with positive karma.

[–]TrueTrolling 24 points25 points ago

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Ignore this guy, he's a faggot with no life.

[–]DivineIntervention 12 points13 points ago

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You asshole, go die in a ditch.

[–]LightsSoundAction 0 points1 point ago

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Is that thing about to birth more crazy spiders for you to obscurely link too. Damn nature, you scary!

[–]ccm139[S] 1 point2 points ago

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From him, I learned how to hunt naked and "feel the kill."

[–]grimAuxiliatrix 3 points4 points ago

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Getting the "cork" out of him because he hasn't pooped in the month of August.

[–]kencabbit 1 point2 points ago

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Since you don't seem to be familiar, I'll share with you the line Brock utters after he's done killing them with his ass, as he lights up a cigarette:

"I told you what I would do for one of these."

[–]Saivo 1 point2 points ago

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The protagonist has been training on the kegelcizer, and puts his newly acquired muscular prowess into good use.

[–]log1k 8 points9 points ago

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This is my favorite part of his.

[–]knirefnel 3 points4 points ago

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Think my favorite Brock Sampson moment is in the first episode when he's fighting naked when a guy takes out a knife and Brock grabs a t-shirt. They look at each other for a moment and the guy drops the knife, realizing that he has absolutely no chance.

[–]Neurario 1 point2 points ago

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Oh shit it's Kronk's voice.

Man, that makes it more awesome.

[–]anothergaijin 0 points1 point ago

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Yes! First time I've seen this, and thats the only thing I could think :D

[–]cagefightapuma 7 points8 points ago

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Or being sucked out of an air lock into the vacuum of space and smoking a cigarette to recover.

[–]ThatGameWhereYouBarf 2 points3 points ago

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On the soundtrack, the song that starts playing there is called "Assclamp".

[–]knirefnel 1 point2 points ago

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I'm going to play this song every time I drop a deuce to make every poop epic

[–]dafragsta 2 points3 points ago

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This was the first episode of Venture Bros I ever saw. I've been a fan ever since. Man, that was a special summer.

[–]schwab002 1 point2 points ago

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I can't upvote this enough. The show is too fucking good.

[–]mista0sparkle 1 point2 points ago

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He told them what he'd do for one of those...

[–]oligobop 7 points8 points ago

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Except for Molotov Cocktease.

[–]ccm139[S] 6 points7 points ago

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From him I learned how easy it is to rip out a trachea.

[–]BRsteve 9 points10 points ago

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What a great episode.

"After the twist you'll feel a snap, then the body goes ragdoll on ya." "That will...knock him out more?" "That'll kill him."

[–]Chairboy 1 point2 points ago

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First, push the button.

[–]2012ad 14 points15 points ago

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No, no, no. Grab the handle, THEN push the button.

[–]ccm139[S] 5 points6 points ago

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Agreed

[–]lostrock 87 points88 points ago

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Brock's voice actor, Patrick Warburton, seriously has the most amazing voice.

[–]schwab002 35 points36 points ago

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Him and H. Jon Benjamin (archer) need to do some project together.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Well, H. Jon does do a voice on the Venture Bros...but him and Brock are never in a scene together.

[–]schwab002 22 points23 points ago

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Probably because the voice recording studio would explode from manly awesomeness.

[–]shinyatsya 27 points28 points ago

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Intern: "Mr. Benjamin is here for the recor-"

Producer: "What? No! No! Get him the fuck outta here! (turns to assistant) Who the fuck scheduled them for the same day?"

Intern: "I don't..."

Producer: "TAKE MR BENJAMIN AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE"

Intern: "o-okay"

::producer lights a cigerette::

Producer: "Goddamn interns going to be the death of me some day."

Warburton: "The fuck was that about?"

Producer: "Nothing Pat, nothing..."

[–]Meat_Mitch_today 1 point2 points ago

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It took some brainpower but,... I'm fairly certain that H. Jon is Orpheus' master?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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yes indeed

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Lana. Lanaaaa. LANAAAAAAAAAA!

WHAT?!?

Danger Zonnnnnneee

[–]deathbytray 2 points3 points ago

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"M... as in Mancy!"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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H. Jon Benjamin is also a voice on Venture Bros, but they haven't shared a scene.

I'd say they never will, but that show is based around ridiculous shit happening all the time.

[–]fantasticsid 1 point2 points ago

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The suspension of disbelief required for Brock Samson to somehow wind up in Triana's cupboard would be OTT, even for that show.

That said, pretty much the entire continuity of the show relies on pretty much every major character getting mindwiped, so what the fuck, go for it, I reckon.

[–]LogicProfessor 7 points8 points ago

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He will always be David Puddy to me.

[–]aptquestion 4 points5 points ago

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And The Tick.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Irrelevant user name.

[–]crazyeight 1 point2 points ago

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You got a question?

thumbs up

You ask the 8-ball.

[–]GernBlanstonInLove 0 points1 point ago

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"You used my move?"

[–]BeefPieSoup 0 points1 point ago

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Support the team.

[–]ZdeathFROMaboveZ 1 point2 points ago

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[–]BDaught 1 point2 points ago

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He's also does Joe on family guy. Doc Hammer is bad ass too.

[–]ShivsME28 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah that's right

[–]Givants 1 point2 points ago

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I watched "the bee movie" just for him

[–]clerveu 82 points83 points ago

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When an automobile and Brock Sampson collide, it's the automobile that gets hit.

[–]shinyatsya 2 points3 points ago

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How much mass would Brock have to have, then immediately lose for this to be possible?

[–]Vindowviper 20 points21 points ago

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"They hit me, with a car"

[–]LessLikeYou 13 points14 points ago

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Speedy?

[–]nogswarth 10 points11 points ago

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He was this close to earning his wings as well.

[–]zgh5002 10 points11 points ago

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*truck.

[–]chokerface 17 points18 points ago

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GO TEAM VENTURE!

[–]criminal89 0 points1 point ago

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wait, could someone please tell me if this is possible in real life? i think if the seat was soft enough and the car was going below 60mph and you jumped forward a little before the car hit you, the glass would cushion the impact a little and the person's bones breaking behind you could also cushion the impact. i think a skilled enough stuntman just might be able to pull it off.

[–]timconradinc 1 point2 points ago

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Not likely with safety glass. A car's front windshield isn't like normal glass. There's a sheet of plastic between the outer layers of glass that have been made into a single thing. The glass itself has been manufactured in such a way that it's brittle, but won't break into sharp parts, but still wants to stick to the plastic. If you look at google image search for this type of glass, you'll see that the glass tends to stay together and doesn't really tear much.

Even with just regular glass given the curve of the body and everything, I don't think you could do this without some sort of assistance.

[–]Swampf0x 19 points20 points ago

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This show is fucking fantastic.

[–]dfrehil 14 points15 points ago

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Brock Fucking Samson

[–]Wilhelm_Amenbreak 1 point2 points ago

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This should be the #1 comment. Something must be wrong with the internet today.

[–]jgrindal 11 points12 points ago

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No, I think THIS is how to get hit by a car like a boss

[–]th1nker 8 points9 points ago

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Here's the irl version

[–]Robo-boogie 0 points1 point ago

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what a bloody idiot, he caused more harm to the driver to the eclipse,

[–]BlueBusDriver 1 point2 points ago

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I'd seen that gif before and never knew it was brad pitt.

[–]healthybigmac 10 points11 points ago

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Disregard physics, acquire ride.

[–]EncasedMeats 1 point2 points ago

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When will cartoons get the science right?

[–]allachris 1 point2 points ago

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You have made my day.

[–]radford_6920 8 points9 points ago

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"Boopbeepboodoodoop" "That was beautiful Helper...who was that Shel Silverstein?"

[–]NUMBERS2357 10 points11 points ago

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I was thinking more along the lines of this.

[–]forever-a-gnome 0 points1 point ago

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I had to read all the way through the comments because I KNEW I couldn't be the only one that instantly thought of this clip...

you sir, win.

[–]tsetseflier 14 points15 points ago

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How to get hit by a pickup

[–]EastboundandDownvote 23 points24 points ago

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How to drive a pickup.

EDIT: Warning NSFL

[–]Stahrk 9 points10 points ago

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HOLY SHITFUCK

[–]hiffy 1 point2 points ago

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How the fuck was there someone recording this?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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First 10 seconds: "wow, a bunch of dumbasses fucking around in a pick up.."

40 seconds: "Darwin you beautiful son of a bitch!"

[–]2_cents 2 points3 points ago*

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Except that the real idiot is the driver who was probably the least injured. For all we know those passengers weren't that stupid, and were just fucked.

[–]BlueBusDriver 2 points3 points ago

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This absolute kicker of the video is that no one got crushed under that truck. Not even the guy that the truck came to a stop over. Insane video.

[–]Drinniol 18 points19 points ago

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No, I see a man get absolutely crushed by the back wheelhub at 39 (or 56 in the slomo) and the driver is hanging out the window and gets crushed by the cab at 42.

The video description says 3 fatalities and I bet you anything those are two of them.

[–]BlueBusDriver 3 points4 points ago

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Whoap. Nevermind. lol

[–]DNApolymerase 3 points4 points ago

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Crazy how he gets up from that even though he's wearing no helmet. I guess all those concussions payed off.

[–]Jumin 6 points7 points ago

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If you ever get a concussion, the strange thing is you can easily get up and feel like you are not that hurt, but you can never tell because you are really just disoriented from the impact. If this happens, DO NOT GET UP unless it is to evacuate a dangerous area. Seek medical help pronto!

[–]throwawaymechanic37 1 point2 points ago

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I got in a car accident, I was t-boned, they hit the drivers side (my side) and the first thing I did was get out to asses the damage and everyone was looking at the car then at me and they were like "HOW ARE YOU WALKING?! You need to sit down now! The paramedics refused to let me walk to the ambulance and carried me in a stretcher." car was completely totaled. I had bought it a month ago too, over $7k in damages and I walked out with a bruise on my leg and glass in my hair. Like a baus.

[–]proexploit 0 points1 point ago

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I came here to post this same clip. In the paper, the driver of the pickup said the sun was in his eyes.

[–]Corund 14 points15 points ago

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I saw this image here about a year ago, it's what prompted me to start watching The Venture Bros. So, yeah, thanks :D

[–]harbogast 2 points3 points ago

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I came here to post this exact message. VB is indeed the best show ever, and yes they ARE still making EPs.

[–]Mr_Moe 4 points5 points ago

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Sooo, what show is this?

[–]ThePurpleCookies 8 points9 points ago

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the venture brothers on adult swim one my favorite shows ever

[–]OmniaII 47 points48 points ago

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[–]IAmAWhaleBiologist 2 points3 points ago

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I like that people hated it when it was called "swedish killing machine." Reddit likes it's reposts to be exact.

[–]robinrotman 3 points4 points ago

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Left arm......Right Arm....Anddd.....BOSS.

[–]iwearthecheese 4 points5 points ago

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SPHINX!

[–]Endyo 3 points4 points ago

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When people say that things are done "like a boss," they are in fact just saying they things are done "like Brock Samson."

[–]Manic_8_Ball 2 points3 points ago

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I don't think boss is an accurate description for Brock. He's beyond a boss. He's....Brock.

[–]clusterfuzz 2 points3 points ago

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Immediately after this clip; "Uuugh... I feel like Catherine the Great..."

[–]derpaherpa 4 points5 points ago*

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Johnny Bravo's successful twin brother.

[–]DaPurpleCobra 2 points3 points ago

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I'm going to try this right now.

[–]ServiusWolf 0 points1 point ago

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Tell me how that turns out. If I don't get a reply, I'll just assume you're dead.

[–]grinch337 2 points3 points ago

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Parkour hipster.

[–]merczoidberg 2 points3 points ago

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I want Mythbusters to test this so i can test this

[–]superyu7 1 point2 points ago

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I want the new season.

[–]nogswarth 1 point2 points ago

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You'll be waiting at least another year or two!

[–]Quicksdraw 5 points6 points ago

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But you can get a little fix next week!

[–]nogswarth 1 point2 points ago

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HOLY CRAP

[–]superyu7 0 points1 point ago

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No kidding, I am sure it will be worth the wait though. Until then, I will watch Brad Neely's new show.

[–]JDPHIL224 1 point2 points ago

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no matter how many time is see that it still makes me cry from laughing

[–]Epershand 1 point2 points ago

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Scumbag VB keeps delaying new season... grumblegrumble

[–]stoicsmile 1 point2 points ago

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I wish Brock Samson was my dad.

[–]BoJackson 1 point2 points ago

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Bo knows trust falls.

[–]bman86 0 points1 point ago

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His trust falls smash a mofo.

[–]Artematic 1 point2 points ago

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Average swede.

[–]shawnisboring 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty sure I originally made that gif

[–]capavon23 1 point2 points ago

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Killenger Doctor Henry Killenger and dis is my majick murdurh bahg.

[–]EnderWhere 1 point2 points ago

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"I feel like Catherine the Great...."

[–]RetlaOge 1 point2 points ago

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How to get hit by a repost like a boss.

[–]VonWolfhaus 1 point2 points ago

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Best show on tv.

[–]arachnophilia 1 point2 points ago

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brock samson + car accident + wheelchair = joe swanson.

[–]Chemicalhouse 1 point2 points ago

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Brock = Boss = God

[–]lpg975 1 point2 points ago

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mecha shiva mecha shiva mecha shiva mecha shiva

[–]huangster 1 point2 points ago

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This guy just reposted the same thing from 8 months ago, with the exact same title.

[–]ancillaryantagonist 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone know where I can find an original clip of this?

[–]GernBlanstonInLove 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Confucius_says 2 points3 points ago

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(start from 18:30)

[–]deathbytray 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, crap... Moira's back.

[–]azsincitymagic 1 point2 points ago

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[–]iwasapolygon 1 point2 points ago

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Repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost and "like a boss." This is why reddit is sucking lately. No personal offense OP.

[–]ProperSauce 3 points4 points ago

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but... He went through the steering wheel.. This is completely unrealistic!

[–]Lord_Natron -1 points0 points ago

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The first time I saw this scene I was tripping on acid. When it got to this part I was peaking pretty good, and it was the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life! Me and my companions all looked at each other in disbelief, then roared in excitement.

[–]doctorgirlfriend84 0 points1 point ago

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Mmmmm

[–]sdhall01 0 points1 point ago

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God I wish life actually worked this way.

[–]whiteone 0 points1 point ago

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Original input darlin'

[–]cheezburglar 0 points1 point ago

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I just got an idea for Mythbusters

[–]BranVan 0 points1 point ago

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I like how this has the exact same title as the last time this was posted.... 8 months ago.

[–]The_FactSphere 0 points1 point ago

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Been awhile since I've seen this, still made me laugh.

[–]ithinkijustpooped 0 points1 point ago

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SURPRISE TRUST FALL!!!

[–]NULLACCOUNT 0 points1 point ago

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Does anyone think this would work in real life?

[–]BearDen17 0 points1 point ago

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Brock IS the man.

[–]gogo_gaga 0 points1 point ago

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badass

[–]holysocks 0 points1 point ago

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[–]xnomad 0 points1 point ago

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Is this the accident where Mark Hamill damaged his face?

[–]Animal89 0 points1 point ago

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I was laughing so hard when I saw this on adult swim I was literally crying.

[–]im_like_a_boss 0 points1 point ago

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like me

[–]AwesomeKickass 0 points1 point ago

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Like a Venture brother.

[–]jeneleven 0 points1 point ago

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Brock makes me go giggly

[–]GamingGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Mythbusters, go!

[–]mrzack 0 points1 point ago

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what show is this?

[–]FelixFelicis04 2 points3 points ago

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Venture Bros

[–]lameth 0 points1 point ago

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I personally think this is getting hit by a car like a boss.

[–]SelectaRx 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for Venture Bros.

[–]unusuallylethargic 0 points1 point ago

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what/who is in the passenger seat?

[–]Confucius_says 0 points1 point ago

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thats so fucking awesome. I could only imagine how much more awesome itd be in video form.

[–]n3rdchic 0 points1 point ago

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Trust fall.

[–]Brandenburger 0 points1 point ago

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Seems like you'd hit your balls, but only if you were an ordinary man.

[–]jonra 0 points1 point ago

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waited only one month to REPOST....hmmm - 6960 upvotes. doesn't seem to matter. i guess I say, Nice Work.....we are all stupid it would seem or our memory cards in our brains are getting smaller.

[–]Zaic 0 points1 point ago

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REPOST!

[–]Ratnothan 0 points1 point ago

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Currently watching Brock protect Dean from 2 assisant with a flaming car.

[–]Phoequinox 0 points1 point ago

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My favorite show on TV/ever. Expertly written and some genuinely great plot twists. Hope they come back with new episodes soon.

[–]Arptick 0 points1 point ago

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I will upvote this no matter how many times it get's reposted.

Brock Sampson is the fucking man.

[–]picsandnsfwonly 0 points1 point ago

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this gif was what got me started on venture bros a couple years ago

[–]VampireSmut 0 points1 point ago

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Dude! I was JUST looking for this earlier tonight! You are a scholar and a gentleman! All my upboats for you!

[–]BacklashSamurai 0 points1 point ago

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Go ahead... take it from me ಠ_ಠ

[–]srikamaraja 0 points1 point ago

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TODAY! YOU! ARE! MURDERFLIES!!!

[–]Attack-move 0 points1 point ago

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Taiji Chen, Single whip. Fuck yes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Whats weird is that I was just watching this episode not 3 minutes before I saw this gif on reddit.

[–]joanlamont 0 points1 point ago

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I have honestly been looking for this gif Foooorever! Thanks!

[–]skippy619 0 points1 point ago

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I thought he was doing the macarena.

[–]shadowman_no9 0 points1 point ago

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Go Team Venture.

[–]Punkwasher 0 points1 point ago

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When you look up the definition of "man" in the dictionary...

you'll find the definition for a man, which Brock fucking is.

[–]baconboy007 0 points1 point ago

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Heeeeyyyyyyyyyy macaraina!