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all 194 comments

[–]naytorin 102 points103 points ago

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It's simple... we can't kill the bat.

[–]vicwolfe 50 points51 points ago

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bane: yes, but i could break his back.

[–]BannedFromEarth 25 points26 points ago

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Backman.

[–]DewFuel 21 points22 points ago

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Brokebackman

[–]Inferis84 37 points38 points ago

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Brokebatmountain

[–]zombienietzsche 18 points19 points ago

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Brokebackmountainman?

[–]bananaKAI 9 points10 points ago

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brokebackmoutain-ba-da-ding-dong-man

[–]larkable 9 points10 points ago

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Directed by M. Night Shyalaman

[–]feureau 46 points47 points ago*

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DOWNVOTE LIMIT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

All comments beyond this line will get downvoted:


[–]EsteemedGentleman -2 points-1 points ago

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Starring Jake Gyllenhaal as Brock Backman.

[–]Filanyon -2 points-1 points ago

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Patback.

[–]Nexas -4 points-3 points ago

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Darkseid: And I could send him to the past.

[–]Chocobroseph -2 points-1 points ago

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But you can send him back in time thousands of years so that he makes a slow crawl back to the present which will release a huge wave of radiation intended to destroy the multiverse!

[–]thatlad 0 points1 point ago

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But then it would all be fucked off so Jim Lee can draw everyone with collars

[–]ZdeathFROMaboveZ 37 points38 points ago

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you cant pretend to be batmans lover and get away with it

[–]TheRedJester 32 points33 points ago

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[–]UbiDubiumIbiLibertas 11 points12 points ago

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Every choke before Batman's looks like a very awkward hug from behind.

[–]theblumeanie 7 points8 points ago

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Clearly the author has never been on the receiving end of a rear naked choke.

[–]Enex 0 points1 point ago

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That may be the point.

[–]MaximusLeonis 0 points1 point ago

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That because the left hand should be behind the head pushing the beck deeper into the choke while stopping any headbutts, and the right hand should be grabbing the left bicep. The way batman is doing is okay, but snake could just bite him.

[–]level5Caterpie 2 points3 points ago

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Batman's gloves can release potent and fast acting narcotic. If he gets you in that hold it's good night Josephine.

[–]slack6a66ath 33 points34 points ago

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When I am playing Splinter Cell or AC I am always really thinking about Batman.

[–]alphanumerik 27 points28 points ago

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When I am playing Splinter Cell or AC I am always really thinking about Batman.

Batman: Arkham Asylum

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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"There goes another caped crusader!"

[–]robertonawhim 58 points59 points ago

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Now I really wonder if Batman could out stealth Old Snake.
But Old Snake does have all his camouflage.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points ago

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No you man. I think Batman could beat Snake in a hand to hand fight, but Snake is the master of stealth. Batman has to out-stealth random thugs who are already scared shitless. Snake has to out-stealth experienced soldiers genetically engineered with heightened senses.

[–]Roneldo 35 points36 points ago

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Batman has defeated White Martians whose powers and strength are comparable to Superman, and he did this when the entire JLA (Green Lantern, Wonder Woman etc) team was incapacitated. I am certain he can take Snake down anytime of the day.

[–]vaskemiddelet 73 points74 points ago

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Does he mustache?

No, he does not mustache, therefore Snake.

[–]dyzastrus 25 points26 points ago

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I feel like this argument is infallible.

[–]GeneralHysterics 8 points9 points ago

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It's reasoning is simply flawless.

[–]DmitriyZ 16 points17 points ago

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[–]blancs50 10 points11 points ago

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And he beats the shit out of still young superman as a 60 year old batman

[–]eggstacy 3 points4 points ago

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Technically, this is just proof that Batman does not mustache. Mustachioed Bruce was an act of defiance against Batman, but Batman wouldn't allow the mustache and shaved it without Bruce knowing it.

[–]AnalWithYourChild 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Trilicon 0 points1 point ago

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That may be true, but I'm sure he has a BatRazor somewhere in that utility belt. That aught to even the odds.

[–]Nsfw-Dragoon 0 points1 point ago

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In his defense his mouth is showing if he had an old snake stache, that would ruin his cover as Bruce.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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They just buff Batman whenever they need him to be strong enough to role with the rest of the heroes with actual powers. I think the video game is about what he is usually like.

[–]Piemonkey 0 points1 point ago

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How did they buff him? He didn't exactly fight all the White Martians hand to hand.

[–]vivvav 9 points10 points ago

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Batman has to take on insane criminals with all kinds of ludicrous defenses and organized crime gangs. Snake has to take on morons who don't find a box moving around suspicious.

[–]Fabbyfubz 6 points7 points ago

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Are you kidding me? Snake's villains are just as insane if not more so. A psychopathic psychic, a "vampire", some fucker that even shoots bees out of his goddamned gun, and the list still goes on.

[–]eggstacy 2 points3 points ago

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The real crazies were villains of Big Boss and Raiden. Solid Snake's enemies were pretty lame in comparison to Batman's rogues gallery.

[–]RandomBystander 1 point2 points ago

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I hated The Pain sooo much. The Fear was even worse, even without all those dang traps that I could have swore I disabled earlier.

[–]Piemonkey 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, none of those guys hold a candle to Killer Croc or Bane or Clayface or the hordes of mobsters Batman faces down at once.

Also, Batman's fought Dracula. Motherfucking "vampire" nothing.

[–]LNMagic 6 points7 points ago

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Camouflage? You mean cardboard box?

[–]GeorgeLiquor 6 points7 points ago

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Batman's got thermal imaging.

[–]p4in7r4in 16 points17 points ago

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Octo-camoflauge shields heat...thermal imaging would be useless.

[–]jackcatalyst 17 points18 points ago

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It should really be old batman versus old snake.

[–]brodaniels 25 points26 points ago

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Old Batman beat Superman in a fight. Good luck there.

[–]jackcatalyst 2 points3 points ago

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Oh I know, Old Batman kicks major ass.

[–]Nsfw-Dragoon 3 points4 points ago

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Wait.. What comic did that happen in?

[–]brodaniels 12 points13 points ago

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Dark Knight Returns.

[–]saltyflavor 6 points7 points ago

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Read it. Now.

[–]brodaniels 2 points3 points ago

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One-armed socialist Oliver Queen by himself nearly makes it worth it.

[–]Naught 1 point2 points ago

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He outsmarted him

[–]Piemonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Who doesn't he outsmart?

[–]level5Caterpie 14 points15 points ago*

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It's not really heat vision it's more akin to echolocation, only far more advanced. He see's your skeleton, weapons, ammo count, heartbeat, pulse rate, pocket change, what you had for lunch. If I could explain how the hell that is supposed to work I'd invent it myself.

Batman has no superpowers other than always being able to win.

[–]cesiumpluswater 17 points18 points ago

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Wrong, he has the best power. The power of money.

[–]level5Caterpie 19 points20 points ago*

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Well, he is essentially a human being at the peak of their potential in every sense. Physically, mentally and even socially.

Yes he has the massive amounts of money but it wouldn't be any use if he didn't have the genius to use it on his own incredible inventions. He is a scientist, engineer, detective, martial arts master, acrobat... the list goes on.

So in a sense, unlike Superman who is an alien or Spider man who is a mutant, Batman is literally a superhuman.

[–]vadergeek 1 point2 points ago

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No, that's Most Excellent Super-Bat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The money helps no doubt but his super power is planning ahead, he has plans to take down every member of the JL if needed.

[–]anonymousanger 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah they basically made him into this omni-versatile super-genius so he could keep up with all the mutants and aliens and shit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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If you want to start pulling out the Octo-camo, I'm going to pull out the Batman Beyond suit. Snake is going down even harder now.

[–]MrFinnJohnson 0 points1 point ago

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But he isn't wearing any of it on his head, surely batman would be able to spot that?

[–]JukeboxJohnny 5 points6 points ago

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There's also an Octocamo head mask as well.

[–]artschoolvillian 19 points20 points ago

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He's also the goddamned Batman.

[–]protendious 1 point2 points ago

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I don't even know why Batman took out Snake, between Snake and Sam I would easily put Sam on top as the threat.

[–]robertonawhim 2 points3 points ago

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Snake is way more dangerous than Sam, Sam still has some semblance of a life, while Snake exists in a constant mission, it's all he knows, and he gave up his life a long time ago.

Batman is just a very hardened man with a personal edge about him, the death of his parents gave him the motivation to understand human behavior, and he's developed a keen mind.

[–]Ignawesome 0 points1 point ago

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Depends on who are you playing as

[–]rogerhahn 14 points15 points ago

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He thought it was Robin all along.

[–]mitrie 12 points13 points ago

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Spy wins, he's using the dead ringer.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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[–]utsavman 3 points4 points ago

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HOLY BARKING BOW WOWS

[–]Social_Experiment 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know who the first man is, op. You got me.

[–]Searth 10 points11 points ago

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Altair kills random people (at least, as Altair, I do), so I guess the guy could be no one in particular.

[–]jonlikesmice 3 points4 points ago

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Altair from Assassin's Creed!

[–]Social_Experiment 6 points7 points ago

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No that's the guy strangling him!

[–]jonlikesmice 1 point2 points ago

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Oh yeah you're right! My bad

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like Desmond, maybe?

[–]mplspoboy 3 points4 points ago

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Where's Hitman at?

[–]Tphile 7 points8 points ago

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Sniping from a distance, before elegantly repacking his weapon, adjusting his expensive silk tie, and walking calmly away as only a bald chap with a distinctive tattoo can.

[–]mattfbasler 6 points7 points ago

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Adjusting his expensive chicken suit.

[–]WaterHoseNinja 1 point2 points ago

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[–]KanOzia 5 points6 points ago

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Too bad no Garrett.

[–]Moonway 6 points7 points ago

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If you didn't noticed , There are no things at background.

[–]NauticalInsanity 2 points3 points ago

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Exactly. Garrett isn't one for choking. He considers (and I frustratingly play thief games like this) an excellent night one where in the morning it is discovered that a powerful wind rushed blew through the castle, extinguishing half the lights and somehow lifting all the valuable items on the premises and depositing them magically on the doorsteps of shopkeepers all around the city.

[–]phlogistontheory 3 points4 points ago

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I don't think Garrett's ever choked anyone in a game.

[–]SaeculaSaeculorum 2 points3 points ago

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Neither has The Spy. Guess that's why he got caught though.

Funny that I was thinking of Garrett too though! Hello fellow Thi4f fans! (lol See what I did there?)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The spy had a knife

[–]herpericderperic 2 points3 points ago

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Snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

[–]vanderown 1 point2 points ago

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Still a little funny, less than last time though.

[–]durtydubnutsub 1 point2 points ago

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Brock Samson is the true man.

[–]ColHunterGathers 1 point2 points ago

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That Walking Swedish Murder Machine isn't meant to be beaten. Killed a guy with a headbutt. A single headbutt.

[–]plaidbird 1 point2 points ago

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Who's the goddamn man?

[–]lolmonger 1 point2 points ago

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Snake is dead, and Sam Fisher is alive in their respective made up universes.

[–]thatlad 0 points1 point ago

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Snake is dead in the future. He outlived fisher by a long way

[–]crazdninja 0 points1 point ago

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Snake never died.... all you see at the end is Snake walking away.

[–]lolmonger 0 points1 point ago

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I mean, with a toxic nanovirus in his blood...

[–]crazdninja 0 points1 point ago

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Derbin, who was working for the Patriots, gave him another foxdie that fixed the mutated foxdie. The only thing killing Snake is the advanced aging.

EDIT: spelling

[–]AtomicSamuraiCyborg 0 points1 point ago

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SNEAK ATTACK!!!

[–]DewFuel 0 points1 point ago

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How fortuitous.

[–]Ibotted 0 points1 point ago

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As someone who plays spy very frequently I always voice chat when I am disguised, and always give myself away.

[–]The_Dirty_Carl 0 points1 point ago

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Who was the guy Altair was killing?

[–]TheRedrake 0 points1 point ago

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Some random civilian, i presume.

[–]RoboIcarus 0 points1 point ago

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The punchline is ALWAYS the spy.

[–]drury 0 points1 point ago

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Well, if Spy backstabbed Batman, Engi with revenge crits would get Spy...

And thus break stealth chain and win.

[–]belarius 0 points1 point ago

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Would have worked if he'd put on his Alfred mask.

[–]Huggle_Shark 0 points1 point ago

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I'm beginning to see what people are saying about reposts.

[–]ManofToast 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I know what I'm playing tonight.

[–]Tiresinfinitejest 0 points1 point ago

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SHAFT!

[–]GaryOak37 0 points1 point ago

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batman would not beat solid snake. discuss.

[–]Chuckn88 -2 points-1 points ago

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Batman could never. Ever. Kill snake. Ever.

[–]Harabeck 18 points19 points ago

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Only because Batman dislikes killing.

[–]p4in7r4in -1 points0 points ago

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Agreed!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Volsunga 1 point2 points ago

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WAR NEVER CHANGES!

[–]MightyMorph -1 points0 points ago

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na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!

[–]Sapphic 2 points3 points ago

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They really should have used it for the opening theme of Batman Begins

[–]Cold_Snake 0 points1 point ago

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Batman could never kill Solid Snake. Just sayin'.

[–]level5Caterpie 3 points4 points ago

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No he wouldn't kill him.

But if Snake made an enemy of him there is know question Batman would defeat him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Batman would never kill Solid Snake. Just sayin'.

FTFY, seeing as the Joker is still alive.

[–]Manisil 0 points1 point ago

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Sam Fisher would kill Snake. Snake is the master of laying in the prone position while shitty AI get all in a fuss and then ignore him like he was never there. Sam Fisher is waaayyyy better

[–]Piemonkey 1 point2 points ago

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THIS CHARACTER IS BETTER THAN THIS CHARACTER BECAUSE I HAVE A BAD GRASP OF THE TWO GAMES' COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GAMEPLAY MECHANICS

[–]level5Caterpie 0 points1 point ago

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I'll have you know this a valid theoretical fightonomics debate, and Batman is predominantly a comic book character.

[–]smearley11 0 points1 point ago

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Hard mode AIs on MGS4 were actually fairly intelligent. They also all had the eyes of an eagle apparently since you needed at least a 95% camo rating to not be seen from less than 100m away while prone

[–]charredgravy 0 points1 point ago

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Oh wait Batman can't kill people.

[–]level5Caterpie 2 points3 points ago

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Does he need to?

[–]doctordonydoctor 0 points1 point ago

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Snake beats Fisher. thats debatable.

[–]smearley11 0 points1 point ago

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Fisher has a black suit. Snake has a black suit that can go camo with any material he's lying on. Also, he has a cardboard box, only hard mode guards suspect random cardboard boxes

[–]doctordonydoctor 0 points1 point ago

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Sam Fisher, Solid Snake, both wearing a grey t-shirt and cargo pants. both armed with 1 combat knife. One crate filled warehouse at noon.

[–]Logan_Jennings 1 point2 points ago

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Snake. CQC would beat anything Sam has.

[–]smearley11 0 points1 point ago

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I'd have to say snake. Fisher seems to rely to much on his goggles. That causes a problem in a shadow filled warehouse. Snake is used to not using goggles, only the solid eye for a little. I'm also basing this fight in 2005. In 2008 I'd say Fisher because Snake loses most of his mobility and relies on his muscle suit for assistance, which he would be without

[–]doctordonydoctor 0 points1 point ago

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Ah but this comic does portray 2005 Fisher and 2008 Snake

[–]smearley11 0 points1 point ago

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Well, then Fisher would be stumbling about blind as a bat while Snake is on the ground due to back pain, in perfect position for a hamstring cut...or to get kicked in the face by blind Fisher

[–]doctordonydoctor 0 points1 point ago

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I think warehouse wins.

[–]smearley11 1 point2 points ago

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Flawless victory

[–]zer01 0 points1 point ago

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THE PARANOIA, IT HURTS!!!

[–]Todow 0 points1 point ago

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I kinda figured Damian was a spy all along.

[–]VonSnoe -2 points-1 points ago

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This pic is fake, No way Batman would be able to defeat Snake!

[–]SlightlyInsane 1 point2 points ago

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Batman beat the shit out of superman.

[–]Piemonkey 1 point2 points ago

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Are you kidding? Snake has trouble with a bunch of people in the MGS series that Batman would take out without much hassle.

[–]level5Caterpie 0 points1 point ago*

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As a fan of both MGS and a Batman and I can assure you Batman would beat Snake, easily.

I'm not saying that to get at Snake, he's a badass an no mistake. Snake versus most other characters would normally end in his triumph.

But against Batman? Not by a long shot. If you've read the comics you would know that Batman is arguably the most capable comic book superhero of all time.

The one character I imagine could possibly beat him is Doctor Manhattan from Watchmen but even then that's only in one on one combat. Ultimately I think Batman would probably find a way out-think Manhattan.

It's not really fair to compare them, they are not in the same league.

[–]smearley11 0 points1 point ago

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Depends on the situation. If they both know of each other, I think it would end in a tie. Snake is way to good at hiding to be caught to easily. He would be able to evade the Batman at least long enough for the Joker to go psychotic and try to blow up a school full of deaf bunnies

[–]throwaway7418 0 points1 point ago

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So this is the.... 5th time this has been reposted?

[–]speedycat -1 points0 points ago

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Spy as Robin

[–]rooktakesqueen -1 points0 points ago

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Aah! Boy wonder is SPY!

[–]nnotserPx -1 points0 points ago

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How to create successful gaming comic:

stuff happens

"it's a spy!"

[–]ExternalInfluence -4 points-3 points ago

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No. No no no no no. Sam Fisher FTW!

[–]awayand -2 points-1 points ago

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i don't get it