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top 200 commentsshow all 401

[–]cheezymadman 136 points137 points ago

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PRE-DINNER MAYONAISSE.

Is good for you.

[–]BenjaminSkanklin 115 points116 points ago

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She does this cute thing, she puts an egg in her mouth and squirts mayonnaise in and she swills is around, calls it mayonnegg.

[–]thisguyinc 41 points42 points ago

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Her?

[–]thommahoney 27 points28 points ago

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Anne... Have I met her?

[–]MrHorseWithNoName 28 points29 points ago

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As Ann as the nose on plain's face.

[–]henrybemislibris 18 points19 points ago

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Is she funny or something?

[–]Mr44Red 2 points3 points ago

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Holy crap she got hot on the last episode.

[–]Chrysophrase 2 points3 points ago

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(Not Pictured)

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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SWEDISH STYLE

[–]Xziper 24 points25 points ago

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[–]davidreavis 9 points10 points ago

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Worth watching

[–]r0n0c 6 points7 points ago

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Out of pre-dinner crisco, butter and lard? Oh No!

Wait, we still have mayo. That was a close call.

[–]sterling_mallory 156 points157 points ago

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Holy shit. Jokes aside, this is actually a woman riding the bus with a jar of mayonnaise.

A woman. Riding the bus. Eating a jar of mayonnaise.

[–]r0n0c 80 points81 points ago

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with a knife...

[–]MasterKenobiWan 33 points34 points ago

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You could at least have the dignity to bring a spoon.

[–]OriginalObscurity 17 points18 points ago

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I think her dignity just about ran out when she decided to start eating mayo.

[–]Revoletion 4 points5 points ago

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So will she eat her dignity when the mayo runs out?

[–]RaipFace 1 point2 points ago

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Are you from the NY suburb area? That bus looks like our buses.

[–]OtisDElevator 3 points4 points ago

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You're going to say that's your jar of mayo next aren't you.

[–]mbora 17 points18 points ago

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I want to believe that she's just reusing an old mayo jar, and it really contains healthy yogurt with mixed berries. But it's probably mayo.

[–]t3yrn 4 points5 points ago

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Oh shit -- what if she's a fellow redditor and we just got epic-trolled! Bitch is gonna post her story, making fun of all of us!!!

Quick! Delete all your posts!!

[–]sterling_mallory 2 points3 points ago

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AMA request: The woman who eats knife mayo on the bus.

[–]Prophet92[!] 1 point2 points ago

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See, then I'd be bothered by the fact that she was eating yogurt with a knife, I mean, what happened to all of her spoons?

[–]mapoftasmania 14 points15 points ago

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...except that isn't mayonnaise. It's Kraft Mayo. Big difference...

[–]GoodScreenName 6 points7 points ago

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Does that make it like, vanilla pudding or something?

[–]pilgrimontheedge 8 points9 points ago

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Because if not, the difference really doesn't matter.

[–]gunningbedford 14 points15 points ago

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just your average, ordinary case of a crazy lady on the bus with a jar of mayo

[–]quiznex 119 points120 points ago

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But its made with Olive Oil! Its HEALTHY!!!

[–]r0n0c 43 points44 points ago

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Just like cheese in Cheetos.

[–]quiznex 40 points41 points ago

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They are baked! They are HEALTHY!

[–]heuheuheuheuh 52 points53 points ago

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I'm baked, does that make me healthy?

[–]skinnymatters 2 points3 points ago

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i'm baked and eating cheetos.

[–]r0n0c 18 points19 points ago

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Just like Tostitos chips!

[–]thisguyinc 7 points8 points ago

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Only if you eat them with salsa.

[–]OriginalObscurity 1 point2 points ago

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Well that goes without saying; you need your daily greens.

[–]skintigh 14 points15 points ago*

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I knew a fat girl who wanted to lose weight so she carried a bag of marshmallows around and ate them all day because they have zero fat.

What I'm saying is this lady is on Atkins and you're an insensitive clod.

Edit: thanks to everyone who correctly identified that eating bag of marshmallows or jars of mayonnaise to lose weight is not actually a wise decision. What would I do without the collective brilliance of Reddit users to set me straight.

[–]pmilla1606 24 points25 points ago

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She's still eating mayo out of a jar, and that's fucking revolting.

[–]PeaInAPod 2 points3 points ago

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ate them all day because they have zero fat.

Lets not forget about the sugar, sodium, and carbs.

[–]Mograne 8 points9 points ago

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My dad uses that kind of mayo. I can confirm it's shit compared to normal.

[–]freakball 3 points4 points ago

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LIES

[–]ayures 1 point2 points ago

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Is it even worse than Miracle Whip?

[–]ShakyBonez 3 points4 points ago

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Nothing is worse than Miracle Whip.

[–]t3yrn 1 point2 points ago

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The link is sort of overkill. You couldn't be more right with the statement alone.

[–]Duramax159 1 point2 points ago

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I'll have a big mac meal, two large fries, a large mcflurry.

And a Diet Coke.

[–]Autodidactic 16 points17 points ago

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I've wanted to do something like this for a long time - take an empty jar of Mayo and half fill it with vanilla pudding (maybe lightly garnished with some crushed Oreos or something) and then just pull it out somewhere in public and start eating.

I'm going to have to remember the knife, it's a nice touch.

[–]IH8DwnvoteComplainrs 7 points8 points ago

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I always wanted to serve sticks of butter, still in the wrapper, as a dessert at a dinner party. Then look at everyone's face as they watch in horror while I devour my ice cream with a butter wrapper.

[–]aceupyoursleeve 66 points67 points ago

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She probably has a really sad life. Let's all make fun of her.

[–]PSteak 12 points13 points ago

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The real animals...are us.

[–]IH8DwnvoteComplainrs 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone seen the movie Freaks?

[–]billybaldwinme 8 points9 points ago

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She probably goes home to a guy who eats Ranch dressing on the bus.

[–]andrewthemexican 20 points21 points ago

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That's kinda how I felt.

Almost wanted to cry with pity for her that OP took the photo just to mock her.

[–]Agehn 11 points12 points ago

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Yeah, well, she's eating mayo on a bus with a knife. She's doesn't care.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I go onto 4chan regularly. I've lost any morals that would restrict me from doing so.

[–]Defender 32 points33 points ago

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My disgust level is over 9000.

[–]Foxhound199 10 points11 points ago

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Definitely. If you're going to eat on the bus, you better bring enough to share!

[–]DGer 16 points17 points ago

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I used to work with a guy that would eat mayo packs all day long. He'd grab several handfuls from 7-11's condiment section in the morning. Then all day long he'd walk around with pockets full of mayo. He'd pull one out and and squirt the whole pack in his mouth. Then wait a few minutes and squirt another pack. All fucking day long. He was fat too.

[–]ItWillBeMine 15 points16 points ago

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It's possible that that's all she had to eat - at canned food drives and homeless shelters, you get what you get. And she kinda LOOKS like she COULD be homeless...right?

[–]MKQ 3 points4 points ago

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I think there's probably more wrong with her than being obese right? Even obese people tend not to eat mayo out of a jar with a serrated knife. On a moving bus. Based on that fact and the obvious fact that she's not taking care of herself in so many other ways, I have a feeling her her decision making skills on the whole are more impaired than just her food choices. So let's make fun of her.

[–]madachup 6 points7 points ago

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REDDIT stop taking incognito pics of people that have problems.....

How would you like it if someone publicly humiliated you with your shortcomings, we all have them, some people just struggle with physical struggles

ಠ_ಠ

[–]TMoneyOK 17 points18 points ago

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For the life of me I can't figure out why shes so obese.

[–]JustHere4TheDownVote 13 points14 points ago

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Too many carrots.

[–]dragn99 5 points6 points ago

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Blah blah blah waffles

[–]XavierMendel 84 points85 points ago

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I really cannot begin to think what's going through the minds of the redditors here. Didn't expect that? Listen the fuck up.

One time I didn't take any medication, got onto a bus and started cooking bacon with a lighter. Why? Because I'm fucking crazy and have been known to do crazy shit like that. I don't mean crazy like "oh lol I put cereal in the fridge I'm so crazy!!!1!". No, I mean "I just spent two days at a gas station convincing people I'm Elvis Presley and performing roadside concerts for money." (True story, earned about $300.)

The woman may not be within the same loopy circle as I am, but there's something wrong. Downvote me all you want, this isn't how you handle it. No sane person does this because they're sane. However, if you've lost control like some do, this is perfectly normal.

So reconsider your insults. If you reconsider and continue insulting, you're a dick and I hope you get stabbed with a sandwich.

TL;DR: Dirigible.

[–]SuddenRealization 32 points33 points ago

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Thanks a lot asshole, you are the reason so many people think Elvis is still alive

ಠ_ಠ

[–]XavierMendel 10 points11 points ago

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Schizophrenia: Not even once.

And also, I don't even particularly like Elvis. Good music, sure, but not something I keep in a playlist. I didn't even knew I knew the lyrics to half that shit.

[–]bin-fryin 1 point2 points ago

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Schizophrenia: Not even three times

[–]XavierMendel 2 points3 points ago

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Schizophrenia: Not ev- SQUIRREL

[–]masomlejn 8 points9 points ago

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Earned $300? Why did you quit?

[–]Tepoztecatl 1 point2 points ago

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Because doing it for 3 years was just too taxing on his hips.

[–]XavierMendel 0 points1 point ago

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Dunno, but remembering it now, I think I may go do that again one of these days. I recall it being pretty fun. Just need to dust off my old guitar...

[–]heuheuheuheuh 8 points9 points ago

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Tell us more about how crazy you are.

[–]CrackTheSkye 2 points3 points ago

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"Downvote me all your want", you say. Sir, are you fucking kidding me? A story like that, good sir, deserves an upvote. Please, take mine.

[–]DaYooper 1 point2 points ago

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The tl;dr really put the whole thing in words I could understand.

[–]XavierMendel 4 points5 points ago

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The complex facing this woman is gigantic. Its severity on the scale of crazy is likely as high as the clouds themselves. The treatment given to her is of course light as air considering the effects. There doesn't seem to be a lot of doctors on board her case given this is so prominent. In fact, I'd say she's sort to crashing completely.

Forced dirigible references.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]r0n0c 6 points7 points ago

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Didn't offer. I had to really try not to stare as she licked it off her knife.

[–]mjrice 12 points13 points ago

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The knife licking would have creeped me out more than the jar of mayo.

[–]r0n0c 8 points9 points ago

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on a bumpy bus ride no less.

[–]StigNasti 3 points4 points ago

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Is that a large steak knife she's using?

[–]r0n0c 10 points11 points ago

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It was a good sized serrated knife.

[–]StigNasti 22 points23 points ago

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If she keeps this up she's going to be the next Joker.

"You want to know how I got these scars?"

[–]r0n0c 8 points9 points ago

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Difference being she will be asked that question to a fellow bus rider while eating mayo off a knife...

"nope, I think I figured it out.

[–]TheBigYello1isTheSun 7 points8 points ago

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I think hearing someone tell me they got scars from eating Mayo off a serrated knife while riding the bus would be one of the greatest things anyone ever told me. You really can't write that shit.

[–]r0n0c 3 points4 points ago

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You really can't write that shit.

StigNasti just did. :-P

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Maybe the dude who can't shit needs to try this strategy.

[–]Phredman 5 points6 points ago

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Wolf Shirt. Instant upvote.

[–]shampoocell 3 points4 points ago

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There is an amazing point that some people manage to reach in their lives where they simply no longer give a fuck.

[–]Rushel 2 points3 points ago

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She's actually a deadly vietnamese assassin, codenamed Mayo, the mayo knife is her signature weapon and the mayo jar is her excuse to carry it around in public.

[–]blueranger 2 points3 points ago

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At least it isn't Miracle Whip. That would be disgusting.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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As a dietitian, I died a little inside

[–]Paedin 12 points13 points ago

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I know, she's fat, haha, eating mayo, she doesn't have a disease, she's just fat 'cus she likes to stuff her face or whatever, right, hivemind? But I'm looking at her and I see several signs of Prader Willi syndrome. Just putting that out there...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prader%E2%80%93Willi_syndrome

[–]heuheuheuheuh 2 points3 points ago

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Man, we probably shouldn't make fun of anyone. We're all wired differently and we all probably have some kind of condition, whether it's been identified and named yet is another matter. People get called stupid all the time, is it their fault that they're limited in that department? Even if they're lazy, what if they're simply wired that way? Is that their fault?

I get depressed as hell sometimes and don't care to do anything. You could call that lazy, lethargic, whatever. However I don't really use depression as an excuse, and people can say whatever the fuck they want.

[–]phrancois 9 points10 points ago

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I can't imagine what she eats when she's not in public.

[–]RyattEarp 9 points10 points ago

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[–]kivnova 34 points35 points ago

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NOPE

[–]JabbrWockey 10 points11 points ago

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...has to be staged..... has to be staged.... PLEASE BE STAGED

[–]TheOnlyWayToBeSure 5 points6 points ago

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Oh my.

[–]goobersmooch 4 points5 points ago

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She appears to be relatively poor.

It might be all she has to eat.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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People who are really poor actually do things like this.

Mayo might not be too appetizing but it has plenty of fat, carbs, and oils to keep you going.

A friend of mine use to be homeless a few years back. He use to buy maple syrup not for pancakes but just to eat.

He would take one gulp per day to get a shot of sugar. It also has a nozzle cap so no need for utensils.

[–]r0n0c 8 points9 points ago

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I believe those were pickles mixed in with it.

[–]RyattEarp 16 points17 points ago

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This leads me to believe my theory that she was just eating yogurt and fucking with people is inaccurate.

[–]skinnymatters 1 point2 points ago

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well, pickle yogurt.

[–]notsothrowaway 5 points6 points ago

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oh good, because for a second there....

[–]niladmirari 17 points18 points ago

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I see people like that and think that eventually, if not right now, my tax dollars are going to pay for that persons medical bills.

[–]cakeandale 27 points28 points ago

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[–]downneck 7 points8 points ago

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the real final solution: feed them moar mayonnaise.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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TIL

[–]Red_means_go 1 point2 points ago

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It's true, you don't see many fat old people. Sad but true, and my whole family is big, so I know I won't have to worry too much about nursing homes. You gotta love and live life till the end!...even it includes bringing a jar of mayo on the bus

[–]N4N4KI 1 point2 points ago

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maybe if she went to the doctor more often (you know cause it was not chargeable) she would get lifestyle tips that would prevent this sort of behavior.

[–]supertasticfool 19 points20 points ago

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Do you really need a doctor to tell you that eating mayo is bad for you?

[–]N4N4KI 6 points7 points ago

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I don't, you don't but she obviously does.

[–]iowa78 5 points6 points ago

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I think you should adopt her.

[–]N4N4KI 15 points16 points ago

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I am not properly equipped to look after large aquatic mammals

[–]phrancois 8 points9 points ago

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TIL aquatic mammals ride buses.

[–]fabtastik 0 points1 point ago

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No one agrees being fat should be illegal...

[–]InmyBackyard 2 points3 points ago

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I do!

[–]Stir_the_pudding 2 points3 points ago

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I'm really disappointed with all the comments and this post. First of all, I think mayo is healthy - see /r/keto or any low carb diet plan. Second, you don't know why she's doing this. It could be for gluttony, but it could be for health, or it could be that she has some mental health problem. Third, Why in the world make fun of her- because she's fat and an easy target? You think that fat people are all stupid or want to be like that or something and deserve to be made fun of publicly? Nice. Job. Not. Fuck you.

[–]ItsNotAmanda 1 point2 points ago

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Is this the #36 bus in Chicago?

[–]Mister2 1 point2 points ago

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This kills the human.

[–]chet_lemon_party 1 point2 points ago

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I had a roommate in college who would freeze mayo and eat it like ice cream.

The worst part was that it wasn't even the nastiest thing she would eat on a regular basis. Her boyfriend used to yell at her for eating things that she found in the couch. Chips, goldfish, etc.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Comments on appallingly obese human being

then returns to 30lb plate of bacon.

[–]valis5 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, that's g'day up. But at a walmart that I used to shop at, there were 2 wheelchair people (one had their own, one used the store's) who used to go to the food court before they cruised around. Chicken strips, fries, burger, and a FUCKING TUB OF MAYO would see them through their browsing spree. Dip, dip, bite. Aisle after aisle.

TL;DR working for R.E.M. is demeaning to both clients and staff; also, I can't eat mayo without feeling sick.

[–]dubbbya 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, im sorry you had to see this. Homeless?

[–]OrthoStice 1 point2 points ago

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... Madison? All I care about is the route number.

[–]myfrienddraws 1 point2 points ago

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So, I asked my friend for rule 34 of this.

He Delivered (NSFW)

[–]mareanguis 1 point2 points ago

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Good thing you were there to take a picture of her in the act and post it on the internet!

[–]masterblastercaster 1 point2 points ago

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For some reason I figure she'd smell like a hard boiled egg.

Or like a mayonegg.

[–]rossoneri13 1 point2 points ago

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did you consider the possibility that this woman might have some sort of mental disability?

[–]f4hy 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck you. I would do this if it were socially acceptable. People like you taking pictures and shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I hate seeing stuff like this, I try to be heartless about things, but this just makes me feel bad for her.

[–]Sygnon 1 point2 points ago

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I wish i could make a joke but the small bit of humanity the internet has not crushed just makes me feel so incredibly sad for her.

[–]tanmccuin 1 point2 points ago

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That's a good Mayo. I stand by it.

[–]AhnDukYoo 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck all of you haters! Look at her smiling and enjoying her mayo and not bothering anyone. Go, Mayo Woman!!

[–]testadellabolla 1 point2 points ago

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I think I just threw up a little bit...

[–]lamerx 3 points4 points ago

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...Then like a total fucking douch bag you take her picture without her okay, then post it on the internet , again without her okay for the so0le purpose of making fun of her. Did you ever stop to think she is fucking sick? You are a douch bag r0n0c one day you will make fun of the wrong person and they will beat your fucking ass...i only wish someone would take a pic of that and post it.

[–]Brosanity 2 points3 points ago

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I saw this in the grocery store and wondered how delicious mayo with olive oil would be...this now answers my question and will go and pick it up with a knife in my hand...

[–]McKiff 3 points4 points ago

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you need to lick it off, otherwise, it is not that enjoyable.

[–]r0n0c 3 points4 points ago

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don't forget to add a couple pickles and eat it on public transportation.

[–]atomofconsumption 2 points3 points ago

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this pic has actually ruined any possibility that i would ever enjoy olive oil mayo.

[–]valkyrio 3 points4 points ago

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It's really not that good.

[–]ksemel 1 point2 points ago

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Plus it starts to separate after a week in the fridge and no amount of stirring makes it look vaguely edible again. Bleeeehh...

[–]whiteboy1190 1 point2 points ago

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She's always ready.

[–]Bob_Chiquita 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't there some kind of law about having weapons in public?

[–]killayoself 1 point2 points ago

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I like some mayo...but damn.

[–]MrJimBeam 0 points1 point ago

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Clearly, the inspiration for Shani's landlord in The Witcher 1. Everyone loves Granny's pickles and lard!

[–]lotionsandcreams 0 points1 point ago

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She's pretty much what I assume she'd look like by reading the title.

[–]clmncry77 0 points1 point ago

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I do this - but with nutella, and a mothafuckin spoon

[–]Sloloem 0 points1 point ago

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She looks familiar, is this on the T?

[–]500CID 0 points1 point ago

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That's a lot of soap!

[–]resident16 0 points1 point ago

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Hello miss lady.

[–]ShutYourGoddamnMouth 0 points1 point ago

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America... FUCK YEAH! Comin' again to save the muthafuckin day, YEAH!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't there a Ray Bradbury character who eats mayo straight up? She's an aging opera star if I remember correctly...

[–]drfoxxx 0 points1 point ago

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another reason why i drive everywhere.

[–]BillyBBone 0 points1 point ago

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Marry me!

[–]PinkiePie 0 points1 point ago

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Is that a CDTA bus?

[–]jtoj 0 points1 point ago

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Get the fuck outta here. Beyond disgusting.

[–]MegaT 0 points1 point ago

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I'd rather eat Cool Whip

[–]tsuichii 0 points1 point ago

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They mayonnaise has olive oil in it. It has to be healthy.

[–]Manumitany 0 points1 point ago

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Doesn't she know they sell long-handled spoons? Eating mayo with a knife is marginally dangerous.....

[–]donwilson 0 points1 point ago

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Open jar full of Mayo... ok.

With a knife... what the fuck.

[–]acrocanthosaurus 0 points1 point ago

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Well, what did you expect? For her to eat it using only her hands?

Don't be so disgusting.

[–]thelowbrow 0 points1 point ago

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Looking at this is making me nauseous.

[–]karma_virus 0 points1 point ago

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I thought that was a Magic: The Gathering enthusiast... and male.

[–]SpaceMushroom 0 points1 point ago

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Kids, let this be a warning to you. Work hard enough that you don't need to ride the bus. Or crazy mayo lady might stab you. Don't give her the chance.

[–]darkviper039 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm this metro looks familiar what city is this in?

[–]mk2vrdrvr 0 points1 point ago

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America. FUCK YEAH

[–]cureyourills 0 points1 point ago

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At least it wasn't Miracle Whip.

[–]TopspinTEC 0 points1 point ago

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What if it was just grapes and yogurt to fuck with you?

[–]cafenoir 0 points1 point ago

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A friend of mine was sitting in class next to a girl who took a jar of mayo out from her bag and ate it with a spoon.

[–]Mr_Titicaca 0 points1 point ago

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Hipsters are way beyond our years...

[–]likesthis 0 points1 point ago

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This looks strikingly like a bus/demographic in Gainesville, FL.

[–]PipingHotSoup 0 points1 point ago

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To save undue wear and tear on your teeth, it's best to eat only soft foods, like frosting and mayonnaise. Trust me. I knew a dentist once.

[–]cViolab 0 points1 point ago

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hey... hey... poke all the fun you want, but at least she picked the one that's best for her heart... :)

[–]builttocrash 0 points1 point ago

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i just threw up in my mouth a little

[–]bobafoote 0 points1 point ago

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She obviously can't use the "it tastes like warm mayonnaise" excuse.

[–]future203 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder what the guy up front packed for lunch, must have been a doozy!

[–]YourYoureCorrector 0 points1 point ago

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This really just makes me feel sad inside. :(

[–]strangeones_ 0 points1 point ago

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oh, england.

[–]Spike69 0 points1 point ago

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People on the public bus, are just WEIRD!

[–]DildoTeaBagins 0 points1 point ago

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EW THAT IS NOT EVEN HELLMANN'S REAL MAYONNAISE.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Well.... to be fair. At least its olive oil mayo. It only takes slightly longer to kill you.

[–]monkeyvselephant 0 points1 point ago

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Well, the knife doubles as a defensive weapon, what else would she use?

[–]bpeters1 0 points1 point ago

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her blood type is may-O positive

[–]MayoFetish 0 points1 point ago

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My kind of lady!

[–]fattymcjiggles 0 points1 point ago

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I just threw up. Mayo has never been the same since i saw an obese toddler eating tablespoons of it....

[–]Snip-Snap 0 points1 point ago

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i have a camelbak with ketchup in it, please dont put me on reddit

[–]BILLYMAYSWASHERE 0 points1 point ago

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even though i like mayo on me sandwiches, i literally gagged thinking aboot eating it raw.

[–]mattchu4 0 points1 point ago

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imagine the smell of her breath.

[–]ProjectileHerpes 0 points1 point ago

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I think I need to shower now.

[–]wArchi 0 points1 point ago

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its not even the good stuff ;(

[–]Ikehitstina 0 points1 point ago

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no amber lamps today 8(

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You wanna perhaps censor her face before you without her knowing put her picture on the internet and humiliate her?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago*

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That looks like a Madison, WI bus... Is it?

edit: I looked through your past comments and you are in Madison! I'd recognize those seats anywhere!

[–]undeddit 0 points1 point ago

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Holy Shit! Please tell me this is in Fayetteville!

[–]falken11 0 points1 point ago

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She's on the keto diet...

[–]JupitersClock 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the bread? Oh no...

[–]tinycake 0 points1 point ago

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At least it's the Olive Oil version....

[–]torontoitguy 0 points1 point ago

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Survival of the fitness.

[–]aburger 0 points1 point ago

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This is the whitest thing I've ever seen.