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top 200 commentsshow all 278

[–]johnnytourettes 145 points146 points ago

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patrick stewart, moby dick and gregory peck all play Father Mapple?

[–]Baron_Munchausen 78 points79 points ago

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He has a very large part.

[–]TheCornbread 22 points23 points ago

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When his part comes in, size really does matter.

[–]kciuq1 29 points30 points ago

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And he's seen it all.

[–]wadsworthsucks 12 points13 points ago

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Then he rides away. on the grass.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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It's too late

[–]otakuman 3 points4 points ago

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And engage!

[–]macnicool 4 points5 points ago

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{1-0} i thought it was moy dick, ans was like why is 'moy dick' funny, it was either a spansish joke or a bad accent saying my. im baked as houses, so lay off the inevitable downvotes. i cant handle that jsut noooow

[–]HireALLTheThings 1 point2 points ago

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..."Baked" is a major understatement, chum.

[–]InvisiblePants 0 points1 point ago

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I'd call you cajun right now. Jeez.

[–]apextek 0 points1 point ago

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patrick stewart and gregory peck fear my dick

[–]trappedintheinternet 39 points40 points ago

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If I worked there that is exactly where that sticker would go.

[–]KnavishSprite 34 points35 points ago

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Looks like it's got a dint in the sticker where it's been peeled off and reapplied. Most likely by a customer. Maybe even the person who took the pic.

[–]vpburns007 25 points26 points ago

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[–]daroons 266 points267 points ago

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DAE read it as "Moy Dick"? Sounded like a british man speaking in contempt.

[–]Tumah 77 points78 points ago

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Sounds like it's being spoken by Michael Caine. Not many people know that.

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points ago

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She was only 16 years old.

She was only 16...

You are only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

[–]radiationshield 35 points36 points ago

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A gif with sound for those who don't get this reference http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFIQIpC5_wY

[–]swilk 10 points11 points ago

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Also relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX0F3kY3uxU

Michael Caine's Michael Caine impression.

[–]boss1000 6 points7 points ago

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Watched it. Again. For the millionth time.

[–]Nuggetry 10 points11 points ago

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I'VE NOT FUCKIN FINISHED

[–]awesomeideas 3 points4 points ago

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Hold on, let me finish. Let me finish!

[–]PompeiiGraffiti 2 points3 points ago

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Only good part of that film IMHO.

[–]saywhatyeah 11 points12 points ago

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Really? I quite enjoyed watching Rob Brydon being cheeky the whole time.

"Gentlemen, to bed! For we ride at 9:30! ish."

[–]popty_ping 6 points7 points ago

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"Sleep well my brother, sleep well my sister, but please do not sleep with my sister..."

[–]PompeiiGraffiti 0 points1 point ago

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You're right, there were other enjoyable bits. But it felt like TV humour, not movie humour. I felt a bit ripped off having sat through it.

[–]saywhatyeah 3 points4 points ago

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It was TV humor. They took a BBC2 show with 3 hours of material (6 episodes) and condensed it into just over an hour and a half of movie for those of us in the States. Which is a shame, because I can't seem to get my hands on the full show itself.

Not many people know that.

[–]Arthur2ShedsJackson 1 point2 points ago

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I was curious to why PompeiiGraffiti was referring it as a film until you said that. Thanks!

[–]VOIPRedShirt 8 points9 points ago

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upvote for "The Trip" reference

[–]CakeBreath 0 points1 point ago

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He gets very emotional, indeed.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 10 points11 points ago

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I read it as "My Dick" with a big hole in the middle of it.

[–]buen0031 7 points8 points ago

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The hole being from my dick.

[–]byte-smasher 4 points5 points ago

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See, I presumed it was Gregory's Peck >.>

[–]KingOfSwing90 0 points1 point ago

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Why doesn't Patrick's Stewart ever get any credit?

[–]capitalistpig 7 points8 points ago

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Moy ding a ling moy ding a ling I want you to play with moy ding a ling.

[–]GalacticNexus 1 point2 points ago

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Eh, the only british accent I can make that work with is a west midlands one.

Even then it's iffy.

[–]hold_on 1 point2 points ago

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hey bitch, wait till you see moy dick

[–]yufice 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. But I definitely read it out loud that way NOW

[–]uracil 0 points1 point ago

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Well, Moy means My in Russian :)

[–]jamesdthomson 0 points1 point ago

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More like after a swift kick to the balls: "Ohhh blimey! Moy dick!"

[–]northirid 50 points51 points ago

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Patrick Stewart... with hair?

[–]Tokeli 38 points39 points ago

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[–]sprucenoose 69 points70 points ago

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TIL hairy Patrick Stewart looks like Richard Gere.

[–]adhiofawkes 20 points21 points ago

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Horrible, terrifying, sexy hair.....

[–]Koratl 12 points13 points ago

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...You're masturbating, aren't you? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Tokeli 19 points20 points ago

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You aren't? ಠ_ಠ

[–]CressCrowbits 2 points3 points ago

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I like how the larger/bold version of that looks like it has tired eyes.

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 1 point2 points ago

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The better to disapprove of you with, my dear.

[–]Koratl 6 points7 points ago*

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I Can't Masturbate to Every Picture I see online, I'd Go Mad! щ(゚Д゚щ)

And please get some sleep. your eyes are a little...

ಠ_ಠ

...Yeah.

[–]glenomenon 9 points10 points ago

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It's that sort of defeatism that is going to ruin America for future generations. If our grandfathers hadn't masturbated to every picture they saw online, we'd all be speaking German by now.

[–]twcaiwh 5 points6 points ago

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He's actually quite handsome with hair...

[–]NerdzRuleUs 2 points3 points ago

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He's actually quite handsome, period.

[–]Jysician 79 points80 points ago

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[–]sudsomatic 20 points21 points ago

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Whoa, just like how I imagined he would look like.

[–]Tappen_Zee 7 points8 points ago

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Looks photoshopped...

[–]Toorstain 3 points4 points ago

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pixels etc...

[–]FoxtrotBeta6 1 point2 points ago

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A Starfleet Captain with hair/no receding hair? Absolute blasphemy!

[–]SigmaDraconisIV 2 points3 points ago

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  • hands on hips *

I don't know what your point is...

  • invisible frisbee*

[–]rocketwidget 14 points15 points ago

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I read somewhere that when Stewart was getting started as an actor, he tried to sell himself something like: "Look, if you hire me, you get two actors, a bald man, and if I wear a wig, a different actor!"

[–]HannShotFirst 4 points5 points ago

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IT'S LIKE MAGIC

[–]chka 4 points5 points ago

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Make it so.

[–]Physics101 5 points6 points ago

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Make it grow.

[–]redoctoberz 2 points3 points ago

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[–]sev0 1 point2 points ago

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It must be wig!

[–]MixMixBrad 83 points84 points ago

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My dick, cost a late night fee

Yo dick, got the HIV

[–]MadKingGeorge 58 points59 points ago

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My dick, plays on the double feature screen
Yo dick, went straight to DVD

[–]preggit 49 points50 points ago

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My dick, rumble in the jungle.
Yo dick, got touched by your uncle.

[–]richie_m_nixon 33 points34 points ago

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My dick, goes to yoga.
Yo dick ... ... ... fruit roll up.

[–]pyroxyze 40 points41 points ago

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My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function

[–]DeanDangerous 30 points31 points ago

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My dick, is like supersize
Your dick, look like two fries 

[–]tokomini 25 points26 points ago

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My dick, more mass than the earth
Your dick, half-staff and needs work

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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My dick, peoples champ like The Rock
Your dick, gets beat in a sock

[–]glenomenon 16 points17 points ago

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My dick, thicker than a redwood
Your dick, cancelled like Deadwood

[–]miltonthecat 9 points10 points ago

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My dick, is like an M-16
Yo dick, broken vending machine

[–]JohnTrollvolta 15 points16 points ago

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My dick, make the girls scream and shout.

Yo dick, I have no idea what any of these references are about.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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[–]WhyAmIGeorge 5 points6 points ago

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Mirror ?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Mickey Avalon - My Dick. Can't get a mirror link right now.

[–]WhyAmIGeorge 2 points3 points ago

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Close enough

[–]cloudworm 0 points1 point ago

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[–]CressCrowbits 2 points3 points ago

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Getting a not available in my territory error on that :(

[–]GAMEchief 0 points1 point ago

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"My Dick" by Micky Avalon.

[–]Twevy 8 points9 points ago

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My dick is the great white whale.

Your dick is just small and pale.

[–]SnacklePop 0 points1 point ago

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I kind of thought it was strange that two guys decided to sit down and intimately rap about each other's wedding tackle.

[–]VendingMachineBanana 15 points16 points ago

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He has truly, truly seen it all.

[–]Oafah 11 points12 points ago

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She tried to pull her knickers up, but it was too late.

[–]laaazlo 0 points1 point ago

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Can happen.

[–]TenaciousBe 23 points24 points ago

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Upvoted for the Cub Foods logo. Proud Minnesotan. :D

[–]lurkersthrowaway 5 points6 points ago

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I came to post this comment too _^

[–]D3SPiTE 8 points9 points ago

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I got very excited when I saw the cub foods logo haha. <--- Moved from MN at age ten :(

[–]logan5_ 2 points3 points ago

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I just wanted to end my sentence with a emoticon :3

[–]D3SPiTE 1 point2 points ago

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Me too! =D

[–]alexawh0 2 points3 points ago

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Me too! Ha! My favorite grocery store I would have to say.

[–]el_gaucho 1 point2 points ago

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I had a cub foods in suburban Chicago. I also got excited when I saw this.

[–]BodePlot 0 points1 point ago

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All the Cub foods here in St. Cloud were bought up by Coborns and turned into Cashwise.

[–]jamesdthomson 8 points9 points ago

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Clearly this is Patrick's autobiography.

"Patrick Stewart: My Dick and Gregory Peck"

[–]professorhazard 2 points3 points ago

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I saw it as a sit-down theatre interview type situation.

[–]jamesdthomson 1 point2 points ago

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"The character I am, Professor Charles Xavier, if you remember, he can control things with the power of his mind - can make people do things and see things, so I thought, what if you could do that for real? I mean, not in a comic book world, but in the real world. So in my film, I play a man who controls the world with his mind. Yeah. For instance, I'm walking along, and I see this beautiful girl, and I think I'd like to see her naked, and so all her clothes fall off. Yes, and she's scrabbling around to get them back on again, but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. Yeah. I've seen it all. It's about what would happen, you know, if these things were possible. I do other stuff; like I'm riding my bike in the park, and this policewoman says "Oi! You can't ride your bike on the grass!" and I go "Oh no?" And her uniform falls off, and she goes "Ahh!" and she's trying to cover up, but I've seen everything anyway. And I get on my bike and I ride off. On the grass."

[–]Horse_McNutts 9 points10 points ago

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Well is it $4.95 or $3.95?!

[–]KneelB4Z0d 6 points7 points ago

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If you're in the 'My Dick' club, dicks are 20% off.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 4 points5 points ago

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Technically if you're not in that club, dicks're 100% off. Aren't they?

[–]assholebiker 8 points9 points ago

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It was because of this movie's existence after seeing First Contact that I went ahead and read Moby Dick. I wouldn't recommend it as Moby Dick was long and hard.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I prefer the abridge version of Moby Dick. The full force of Moby Dick can be too much for some.

[–]Hyro0o0 2 points3 points ago

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Very well, the abridged version, but no shorter than that! The line must be drawn HERE! This far! No further!

[–]Radmobile 8 points9 points ago

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Man, that's not how I pictured Queequeg

[–]Providing_the_Source 1 point2 points ago

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Nor I.

[–]123GoTeamShake 6 points7 points ago

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This one time I was afraid of a shark so I got out of the water.

[–]Radmobile 2 points3 points ago

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Do you ever feel safe enough to go back in?

[–]123GoTeamShake 2 points3 points ago

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NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

[–]KyotoSong 0 points1 point ago

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what if there were murderous hillbillies on land.

[–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 5 points6 points ago

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"Ahab spent years hunting the white whale that crippled him - a quest for vengeance - but, in the end, it destroyed him and his ship."

[Mind = Blown](/ "I won't watch First Contact the same way again")

"The Line must be drawn here... this far, No further!"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, wait - how do you do the tool tip?

[–]repocode 5 points6 points ago

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So that's about a sperm whale?

[–]electrikyle 4 points5 points ago

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Those squishy plastic cases were always 1000x better than the cardboard sleeves.

[–]Semen-Logistics 3 points4 points ago

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I thought nobody else noticed it was a VHS.

[–]RoboPizza 3 points4 points ago

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Cub foods. I love my Cub.

[–]PrimaxAUS 3 points4 points ago

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And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it.

[–]Miqchan 3 points4 points ago

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The creature all men feared, Became one man's obsession

Seems like a tag line to the update AMA about the guy with the huge dick and some redditor going crazy for it.

[–]Floppyboobsack 4 points5 points ago

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[–]tattertech 2 points3 points ago

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[–]mr_blue 3 points4 points ago

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this puts the quote

There she blows!

in a completely different interpretation... hm.

[–]Lucky75 2 points3 points ago*

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"One man's obsession"

"Moby Dick"

"Starring Gregory Peck".....as a priest.

This shit almost writes itself...

[–]will851 1 point2 points ago

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The line must be drawn here! This far and no further!

[–]mass-quarter 1 point2 points ago

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Teehee, Gregory "Peck".

[–]omnituna 1 point2 points ago

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Nice VHS. Thought those were extinct.

[–]hugepnus 1 point2 points ago

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Thought I was going to see rosie o'donnell when I opened this thread.

[–]densetsu23 1 point2 points ago

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Queequeg = Worf.

[–]BeefPieSoup 1 point2 points ago

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Since when do all men fear whales anyway?

[–]Cutsprocket 1 point2 points ago

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oh great, as if the AMA about the guy who has a dick as thick as his wrist wasn't enough now Patrick Stewart is in on it

[–]InTheZone1 1 point2 points ago

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Can't tell if on purpose... or unintentional

[–]ChrnoIV 1 point2 points ago

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Is that Christopher Lee?

He's a fuckin' god.

[–]ericelftmann 1 point2 points ago

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Whoa, there's still a Cub Foods?

[–]BenjaminKorr 1 point2 points ago

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Starring Gregory's Peck

[–]BigMike__ 1 point2 points ago

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Supporting actress: your mom.

[–]cport1 1 point2 points ago

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Cub Foods still exists?

[–]western_style_hj 1 point2 points ago

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VHS?!

[–]BMWbill 1 point2 points ago

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Call me Ishmael, but I have to admit this was one of my favorite books. I would have hated it in high school but I read it in my late 30s and each paragraph is written like a poem. It is written in a beautiful prose that is long forgotten.

[–]Raining_Pain 1 point2 points ago

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Why is there a Maori on the cover?

[–]corporalcadet 1 point2 points ago

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Bro, I am so confused.

[–]Raining_Pain 1 point2 points ago

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Same, I was just having some dots and then this thread came along, was like faar ouut!

[–]corporalcadet 1 point2 points ago

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Nah man, must be happening overseas or something.

[–]ISmashedMyController 1 point2 points ago

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you better fear picard's dick

[–]2t0ne 1 point2 points ago

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What has 143 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

[–]Helmet_Icicle 1 point2 points ago

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Patrick Stewart with hair makes me uncomfortable.

[–]srsmustache 1 point2 points ago

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reddit is the bleached asshole of the internet

[–]fatcop 1 point2 points ago

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Moby's Dick: starring Captain Prickhard and Gregory's Pecker.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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made me lol

[–]Elerion_ 1 point2 points ago

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It's funny because it looks like it says My Penis

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I would have used a barcode to make it read 'Pat My Dick'

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I could barely recognize him. He has hair!

[–]pseudocide 0 points1 point ago

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I'm afraid of Patrick Stewart's white whale

[–]junglepoon 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, I think you're talking about his friend Ian Mckinnon.

[–]Lcar210 0 points1 point ago

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I approve of this.

[–]schoolairplane 0 points1 point ago

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gregory peck creeps me the fuck out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Is that the special features disk? I hear that one lets you see... everything.

[–]SundanceA 0 points1 point ago

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So OP is black?

[–]noodlyjames 0 points1 point ago

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Or in my case, all women.

[–]MobyChick 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT IS THIS?!

[–]milesabove 0 points1 point ago

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"... cost a late-night fee."

-Mickey Avalon

[–]The_Mexorcist26 0 points1 point ago

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I can't stop laughing at Queequeg face, hahaha!!!

[–]nixnaxmik 0 points1 point ago

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Captain Ahab has to go hunt his whale.

[–]partyon 0 points1 point ago

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This was actually a really great movie. I had no money to go on spring break in college so I stayed in the dorms and watched this every night. Really awesome movie.

[–]PinkMonkeySlippers 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Secrete_Persona 0 points1 point ago

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huh I saw this on failblog yesterday too. Hivemind.

[–]cromonolith 0 points1 point ago

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That's a pretty solid movie, actually. The special effects during some sequences with the whale are a bit lame, but otherwise it's very well acted and such.

Plus, the guy who played Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs plays Starbuck.

[–]walking18 0 points1 point ago

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Well, that is pretty funny.

[–]codemanh 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad this wasn't posted by the "I have a penis as thick as my wrist" guy :(

[–]Goodtimee 0 points1 point ago

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I see what they did there

[–]toddjunk 0 points1 point ago

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WHERE IS REDDIT USER RELEVANT_RULE34????

[–]redjokerx 0 points1 point ago

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Jean-Luc, blow up the damn ship!

[–]mst3kzz 0 points1 point ago

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Also Gregory Peck(er)

[–]halasjackson 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like you replaced the sticker yourself for comedic effect. You can still see the notch your fingernail would have made (that would not be there if taken off of a sticker roll)...

Still funny...

[–]locke78 0 points1 point ago

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VHS?

[–]binogre 0 points1 point ago

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Took me forever to see the sticker placement, I thought it was just because he found a VHS tape.

[–]aubreya24 0 points1 point ago

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You would have a hard time convincing me that sticker wasn't intentionally placed where it was. Funny none-the-less!

[–]helly1223 0 points1 point ago

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Gregory Peck

[–]Jacob6493 0 points1 point ago

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I was expecting this scary fucking thing!

[–]safehome 0 points1 point ago

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The same employ must have done this

[–]Adam3001 0 points1 point ago

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And Gregory Pecker

[–]poptart2nd 0 points1 point ago

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that picture looks familiar

submitted 1 day ago by Boris740

ಠ_ಠ

[–]LandOfFallenDreams 1 point2 points ago

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this one is better though... it doesn't have FAIL written on it!

[–]Blueberry_Yum_Yum 0 points1 point ago

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..is like a bridge.

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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OH MY GOD!...where did you find VHS tapes?

[–]WhaleMail 0 points1 point ago

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Huh. I thought it was going to be the candiru. At least that is the creature all dicks should fear.

[–]ageoflife 0 points1 point ago

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became one man's obsession...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This would have been hilarious in fifth grade.

[–]tatastrophy 0 points1 point ago

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This is what I thought of when I saw this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnzYG0ZkrXg

[–]plexxonic 0 points1 point ago

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What happened, did you lose it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I thought the creature all men feared was their bitch in heat.

[–]Follow_Follow 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Chakotay in the background?

[–]Violoner 0 points1 point ago

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I totally thought Queequeg was a Klingon for a split second.

[–]masedit 0 points1 point ago

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He looks better bald.

[–]SaladoJirafa 0 points1 point ago

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[–]thefloppydog 0 points1 point ago

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So I get a dollar off if I'm one of your groupies?

[–]sashimi_taco 0 points1 point ago

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Picard is in this movie, i must get it.

[–]BeondTheGrave 0 points1 point ago

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The Creature all men fear: Patrick Stewart with hair.

[–]bigfatmamallama 0 points1 point ago

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When I read the first part I thought it meant women.

[–]hallucinogenius 0 points1 point ago

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my dick need no introduction, your dick dont even function!

[–]ItGotRidiculous 0 points1 point ago

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Engage.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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WHITE WHALE. HOLY GRAIL.