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all 89 comments

[–]random255 56 points57 points ago

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And what do we tell death?

[–]Poes_Law_in_Action 27 points28 points ago

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I will cut off your manhood and feed it to the goats.

[–]blue_gatorade 20 points21 points ago

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It is known.

[–]chudontknow 1 point2 points ago

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it is known

[–]catfishjenkins 10 points11 points ago

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But we have no goats.

[–]orko1995 3 points4 points ago

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I'll find some just for you.

[–]BaqAttaq 5 points6 points ago

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Good ol' Shagga.

[–]DEATH_ 2 points3 points ago

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WHAT IS THIS MANHOOD OF WHICH YOU SPEAK?

[–]BetaBear 19 points20 points ago

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I'll let her say it.

[–]gouge 1 point2 points ago

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Who is that?

[–]sharpe11 2 points3 points ago

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Game of Thrones reference

[–]manny130 2 points3 points ago

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No one.

[–]IMadeYourDrink 0 points1 point ago

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I know you read the books!

[–]lorelicat 0 points1 point ago

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Arya Stark

[–]Skyy_High 1 point2 points ago

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Bad. Ass.

Not the quote I'd give her, but still.

[–]davidcelis 6 points7 points ago

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But... It's one of her quotes.

[–]wash42 2 points3 points ago

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Only in the show.

[–]spacemanaut 1 point2 points ago

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That's pretty neat. Do you know the source?

[–]BetaBear 2 points3 points ago

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[–]GophaKyorselv 4 points5 points ago

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Only on days where I have a wooden sword.

[–]wash42 2 points3 points ago

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I decided to check out the comments for just such a comment.

[–]lazyduke 0 points1 point ago*

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Regretfully, a zebra in this situation would not be able to say this, as he would be dead after the first time.

Edit: Maybe this time

[–]Arxl 20 points21 points ago

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Probably broke the lion's jaw, he will probably die from being unable to eat or inability to keep moving.

[–]unexpectedtofu 22 points23 points ago

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Well, he probably didn't have enough female lionesses to make his zebra sammiches for him, so he was probably a loser anyways.

[–]Arxl 6 points7 points ago

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That was National Geographic grade insult right there. Kudos~

[–]oscar333 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know about that, I'm actually thinking that they had a tumble and the lion still got the zebra...lions are really fucking strong, and have very strong bone structures on their skull/jaws (I've watched a lion 'play' with a metal bowl and punch holes w/his canines right through it after taking the meat out@feeding time)...they aren't weak as fuck like we are...(I would be dead after that)

[–]Arxl 0 points1 point ago

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Any injury like a zebra kick would debilitate most lions actually. Watch African Cats from Disney even. Shows what happens.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

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Lion insult: "You do your own hunting."

[–]Sevventh 2 points3 points ago

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Heart of Darkness

[–]luciferprinciple 2 points3 points ago

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Most definitely. I read somewhere that adult giraffes are essentially free from predators because they kick the shit out of anything that comes near, causing slow death for the reason you just explained. That would suck ass. In other news, babies are dumb, stupid and die all the time.

[–]ACLerok212 2 points3 points ago

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This can't feel too good either.

[–]oscar333 0 points1 point ago

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oh my god

[–]Arxl 1 point2 points ago

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Abortion.

[–]Billy_Reuben 10 points11 points ago

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I've been told that, other than herd confusion camouflage and the ability to run, the zebra's main predator defense is being just "Kiss my ass" mean as fuck.

Like an Equine badger or some shit.

[–]ammerique 2 points3 points ago

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Equine wolverine.

[–]NotYourMothersDildo 0 points1 point ago

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And with that designation, our hopes of domesticated riding zebras are destroyed.

[–]CowOfSteel 1 point2 points ago

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Guns, Germs and Steel points to that as one of the reasons sub-Saharan Africa had difficulty creating civilizations equal to Eurasia's. Turns out Zebras make terrible farming animals, and even worse Cavalry mounts.

[–]NotYourMothersDildo 0 points1 point ago

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^ One of my top 3 books.

[–]trucekill 9 points10 points ago

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Here's the film version. I found it here.

[–]Sheensta 0 points1 point ago

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At 2:29 you can see the blood on the zebra :/

[–]coderedmountaindew 6 points7 points ago

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Another reason to hate FruitStripe Gum.

[–]Shimakaze 6 points7 points ago

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I read this in Jesse Pinkman's voice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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THIS IS MY PRIVATE DOM-I-CILE

[–]slvrfox 9 points10 points ago

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That's why the females usually hunt.

[–]SlashMonster 5 points6 points ago

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Zebstrika used Stomp

Its super effective!

[–]PrimeX 6 points7 points ago

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I saw the same picture with the caption "Fuck you I'm a zebra!" which always cracked me up.

[–]jbird123 3 points4 points ago

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Bitch, I'm a bu.. Zebra!

[–]unexpectedtofu 2 points3 points ago

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I liked the part with the zebra

[–]Kneewhite 3 points4 points ago

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Technically "Bastard"

[–]two_words_only 0 points1 point ago

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named "toothless".

[–]bmarshhhh 1 point2 points ago

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Leave the hunting to the lioness

[–]Jeccems 1 point2 points ago

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This is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed.

[–]atbaume 1 point2 points ago

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Male lions don't often hunt, thus low attack score.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The cute woman who volunteers at the zoo said that the giraffe's main defense against attacks like this one is to kick their back legs out, which are said to have force enough to decapitate the predator.

I always wondered if she meant fully removed or just dislodged. I mean, they are holding up a giraffe. Must be pretty strong.

[–]jergens 0 points1 point ago

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Both Zebras and Giraffes are completely capable of killing a lion with one kick. Both are extraordinarily strong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously? Even a zebra can? I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, since it's a similar species to a horse and I don't know anyone who would line up to be kicked by one.

Still, makes you wonder what defensive systems a lion's head would have against that. The flipside might be that alligators have incredible bite strength, but isn't it said too that the muscles that open the mouth back up aren't anywhere near as strong?

Or for comic book lovers, Spider-Man has something like 20,000 lbs. of strength, but if you could catch him he'd probably be as vulnerable as most to physical harm inflicted on his body since he doesn't have an exoskeleton or anything.

I've read accounts of a chimpanzee that flung a lion (I believe) around by one of its legs. Animal strength amazes me. Not often do you see visual proof of it, but I trust the people who are around it all the time.

[–]jergens 1 point2 points ago

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I was in South Africa last year and was told that Zebras are crazy strong compared to a regular Eurasian horse. Add to the fact that they aren't really tameable, and you can see there's just something not right about them. :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That's a good point.

The stuff you learn only when prompted to investigate: One species can be as much as 9 ft. long, over 5 ft. high at the shoulder, and weight nearly a thousand pounds.

Also, this is the most gangster zebra I've ever seen. Look at the teeth when he's on top!

[–]sonofseriousinjury 1 point2 points ago

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This is one of my favorite wallpapers that show things going a little differently.

[–]Osmodius 8 points9 points ago

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It is funny because the Zebra has kicked a Lion in the face.

[–]PreExRedditor 10 points11 points ago

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it's funny because the zebra got mauled to death by a really angry lion shortly after the picture was taken

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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It's funny because the zebra actually broke the lions jaw and he slowly starved to death...now I'm sad.

[–]cresteh 8 points9 points ago

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That's usually how it works : |

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, nature can be a bitch.

[–]cresteh 0 points1 point ago

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Nay chuh! You scay ry

[–]WasIRong -1 points0 points ago

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doubt it. lions have really weak skulls, that kick woulda fucked him up

[–]bananafingers 4 points5 points ago

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Feel.... compelled... to upvote... people who spell out the obvious... no idea why.

[–]C_MEN 4 points5 points ago

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[–]cSpotRun 1 point2 points ago

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Cut to - 30 seconds later when the lion recovers, chases pictured zebra and eats to its fill.

[–]evomatic01 1 point2 points ago

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The zebra bleeds from taking razor sharp claws to the gut, creating a delightfully fragrant blood trail for the whole pack of lions to follow at their leisure...then what you said.

[–]mrquez 1 point2 points ago

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Watch the full fight here

[–]ItGotRidiculous 0 points1 point ago

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:-( Perhaps tomorrow? Plz?

[–]xdestron 0 points1 point ago

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This scene 5 minutes later probably tells a very different story.

[–]reallybigshark 0 points1 point ago

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Lions live in the water now?

[–]LetsGetMystical 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like the lion cubs won't be eating dinner tonight. Father tried so hard to feed them...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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See a Game of Thrones reference, upvote ALL the things!!!

[–]femaiden 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch be cool

[–]HmmNoWays 0 points1 point ago

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Every Zebra has its own day.

[–]racemic_mixture 0 points1 point ago

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My money is on "not only did it happen that day, but within 2 minutes"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"What do we say to the god of death?"

[–]clocksailor 0 points1 point ago

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What I like about this is that it's actually motivational. I kind of want to slap the correct font on it and put it in a four dollar Walgreens frame on my wall at work.

[–]Je-pat 0 points1 point ago

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It's called zebrache

[–]QueenNavy 0 points1 point ago

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their love was not meant to be.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

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That's what he gets for tailgating.

[–]lazyduke 0 points1 point ago*

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Regretfully, a zebra in this situation would not be able to say this, as he would be dead after the first time.

Edit: Maybe this time

[–]FunnyImagesToText 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch

Zebra, to the lion: NOT TODAY BITCH
[The zebra is kicking the lion in the face.]

[–]christianjb 0 points1 point ago

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Is there a large demand for your service, or do you envisage it being more of a niche market?

[–]ZAKTAY -4 points-3 points ago

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He's not lion is zebra?