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[–]Samsy 587 points588 points ago

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I am 35 and I honestly never knew how that worked until today, and I owe it all to VAG_Pounder

[–]Ignorantsplooge 301 points302 points ago

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We owe a lot to Vag_Pounder around here.

[–]Qzy 123 points124 points ago

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Who knew pounding vag would solve mysteries?

[–]risuchan 114 points115 points ago

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Fred and Daphne.

Time to split up, gang!

[–]spesic 67 points68 points ago

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[–]Gonzotheo 105 points106 points ago

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How long is this video? I've got other shit to do today.

[–]smactosh 15 points16 points ago

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TIL daphne talks too much

[–]KickAsstley 4 points5 points ago

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This may have been the weirdest porn I have ever watched.

[–]ABitCurious 2 points3 points ago

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Damnit, I should have waited 'til the Velma part! I was waiting for that the whole time but didn't know if it would come.

[–]RaithMoracus 2 points3 points ago

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Thank You. Have an upvote.

[–]slashbringinghasher 13 points14 points ago

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I lost it when she started sucking Shaggy's dick and he said "zoinks"

[–]Relevant_Duck 39 points40 points ago

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Yeah, like stealing people's top comments and reposting them in the very same thread. That must be exhausting.

[–]slashbringinghasher 11 points12 points ago

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...what?

[–]VAG_Pounder[S] 126 points127 points ago

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I feel so loved. I'm buying beers for everyone soon as i figure out how to cash my karma.

[–]internetor 32 points33 points ago

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Just go to the karma store.

[–]dwaxe 82 points83 points ago

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There's always money in the karma stand.

[–]ssddmy 20 points21 points ago

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No Touching!!!

[–]seeg6 2 points3 points ago

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ProbablyHittingOnYou runs the karma store.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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[–]dontuni 2 points3 points ago

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do you have a gif explaining how the yellow thread can go around both sides of the green circle, isn't it supposed to have an axle or something?

[–]stevep98 2 points3 points ago

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It does have an axle, but it doesn't go all the way through. Its just one one side.

Edit: Sorry... That's all probably wrong. I'm confused too now.

[–]chillychicken 20 points21 points ago

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I still don't know how it works.

[–]7oby 11 points12 points ago

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I owe it to The Secret Life of Machines.

He posts them all online too.

[–]SampleBins 2 points3 points ago

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This has bothered me since I was about 10 years old. I never figured someone named VAG_pounder would resolve it for me.

[–]Paisano27 2 points3 points ago

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Only on reddit could a man who nicknames himself vag_pounder enlighten so many people. I salute you vag pounder

[–]PrivateSkittles 447 points448 points ago

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My god, humans are just amazingly brilliantly smart, we really are. I mean sure you look at a space shuttle or a nuclear bomb and you say "sure that thing must have been REALLY hard to figure out, but come on, the smartest people in the world built it" but then you look at something as simple as a sewing machine and realize that there is just an inherent brilliance to humans that can really accomplish anything.

[–]SHKEVE 21 points22 points ago*

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I totally agree! The simplest things are usually so because of someone's unimaginable ingenuity. These were posted a while back here on Reddit so I don't know if you're already seen them, but there's a professor at the University of Illinois who really fosters this feeling of awe for well designed devices.

Here is his video about smoke detectors. Warning: you will watch them all in one sitting.

[–]toadkiller 13 points14 points ago

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My god, with a hard drive full of his videos one would have all the tools needed to rebuild society in the event of Armegeddon!

[–]blackkettle 2 points3 points ago

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just don't forget to stockpile some batteries to power your computer...

[–]Ignorantsplooge 470 points471 points ago

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And then you turn on FOX news. . .

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]meant2live218 68 points69 points ago

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I look through Youtube comments.

[–]dmagee33 49 points50 points ago

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13 people are Justin Beiber fans!!

[–]Thick-McRunFast 40 points41 points ago

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Thumbs up if you agree!

[–]1337_beat 4 points5 points ago

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Dammit, I don't want to give you any upvotes. BUT I AGREE!

[–]GotoPapa 6 points7 points ago

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Thumbs up if you read this in 2011!

[–]metacruft 28 points29 points ago

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I go to r/politics

[–]ashraf2403 5 points6 points ago

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Dude I hate the yahoo comments section with a passion I am glad to know there are others like me.

[–]Brisco_County_III 5 points6 points ago

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If I'm feeling particularly cheerful, I read for more than two minutes and that seems to clear it up.

[–]nitesoul 133 points134 points ago

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And then you masturbate.

[–]Sharlto 72 points73 points ago

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Nice try, Louis.

[–]tokomini 8 points9 points ago

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Not Louis, no mention of the farts.

[–]chinito900 5 points6 points ago

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Have you seen Megan Kelly! That woman is a stunner! Crappy journalist! But still fun to look at.

[–]deceptionx 2 points3 points ago

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Good thing she got that maternity leave!

[–]Crimms 25 points26 points ago

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"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." -Agent Kay from MiB

[–]dquizzle 2 points3 points ago

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No, I don't.

[–]wonkothesane1986 3 points4 points ago

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I'm surprised Private's comment was up a full two hours before the generic Fox News bashing began.

[–]L4G 3 points4 points ago

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It turned into an eye bleeding Youtube bash.

[–]grey_sky 32 points33 points ago*

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Anybody else read this in David Tennant's (10th Doctor from Doctor Who) voice?

Edit: Whoops, wrong doctor number.

[–]blinky98 12 points13 points ago

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I recently discovered how excellent that show is and couldn't think of anything else.

[–]galindafiedify 5 points6 points ago

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It was the "brilliant" that did it.

[–]blueasclepius 5 points6 points ago

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...wait, wait, wait is this what Doctor Who is about...? Human ingenuity and brains? FUCK I've been missing out, brb.

[–]tinkercreek 3 points4 points ago

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ok its time I asked what all this nonsense about Doctor Who is about. Is it that good? or is this just some kind of reddit obsession.

Also, wtf is it even about?...off to wikipedia

[–]foxdye 4 points5 points ago

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It's a nerd obsession, not a reddit only thing. And yes, it really is that good.

[–]omgdonerkebab 2 points3 points ago

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Some humans...

[–]jogga 975 points976 points ago

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How long is this video? I've got other shit to do today.

[–]shwimmis 396 points397 points ago

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I believe it starts to get interesting at the 40 minute mark.

[–]tokomini 247 points248 points ago

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Admittedly it got pretty predictable for awhile there, but this guys right, hit that 40 minute mark and I was on the edge of my fucking seat.

[–]th1nker 290 points291 points ago

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I don't know about you, but I started masturbating about a minute in.

[–]Thick-McRunFast 83 points84 points ago

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I was finished about a minute in.

[–]pryomancer 25 points26 points ago

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A minute? Shit. What's your secret?

[–]andnoted 27 points28 points ago

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Cupping the balls?

[–]murderland 5 points6 points ago

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fist up the rear

[–]casiopt10 28 points29 points ago

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When in doubt, masturbate!

[–]Not-the-batman 11 points12 points ago

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this rhymes more: When in doubt, whip it out!

[–]andnoted 22 points23 points ago

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Still skeptical? Rub the testicles!

[–]707-808 14 points15 points ago

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Don't debate it, ejaculate it!

[–]OneWhoHenpecksGiants 2 points3 points ago

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I considered stopping the video 2 minutes in and then fapped on it. It's still playing 5 hours later...

[–]surfteacher1962 33 points34 points ago

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I really like the car chase about an hour in.

[–]lilrabbitfoofoo 8 points9 points ago

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Where did you find the limited edition Michael Bay version?!

I've been looking FOREVER for that one!

[–]drewerd 6 points7 points ago

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Seed plz

[–]mumudress 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah but you have to watch everything before that to understand that part

[–]Hellrazor236 165 points166 points ago

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You're on reddit and you have other things to do today? That was mistake #1.

[–]Fraustl 97 points98 points ago

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And what's wrong with the sound?

[–]metacruft 139 points140 points ago

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Only IE supports sound in GIFs. Get a real browser.

[–]FuhQue 21 points22 points ago

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For some reason they dropped support after IE6 which will long be known as the perfect browser.

[–]metacruft 35 points36 points ago

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Sometimes technology reaches such an apex of design that updating is downgrading. The IBM model M keyboard. The 1911 Colt .45. The TI-83 calculator. I could go on, but my point is:

IE 5.5 on Windows ME.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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[–]OneDegree 8 points9 points ago

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You'll all be cleansed to make way for the Netscape master race.

[–]nja89 2 points3 points ago

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Windows ME was the definition of perfection, everything since has been a huge disappointment really.

[–]balladavid 95 points96 points ago

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I've been watching it for 2 hours now and I'm crying. I dont know why.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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That's because it's one of those foreign indie flicks. Those never make sense.

[–]Dr_fish 18 points19 points ago

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My god, when it showed the balls of string finally reuniting with their parents... I just lost it.

[–]Claypool2112 25 points26 points ago

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Tears of joy my friend

[–]macuser24 2 points3 points ago

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I never saw something that beautiful! (except for boobs...) Thank you fellow redditor!

[–][deleted] 68 points69 points ago

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um... definitely NSFW at 45:30 - 50:22! Please add a warning next time.

[–]skinrock 296 points297 points ago

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Mind = Sewn

[–]jennix1 145 points146 points ago

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Needles to say, this is awesome.

[–]starphish 175 points176 points ago

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Oh god, a pun thread.

[–]spartanKid 80 points81 points ago

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These ones are so good they've got me in stitches.

[–]whatplanetisthis 63 points64 points ago

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They're sew awesome, but they seam silly to some people.

[–]jsellout 47 points48 points ago

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I swear, threddit has become so thimble-minded.

[–]Poxican 38 points39 points ago

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I can't believe people still pedal this stuff here.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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I know, threads like this make me go YARN

[–]messy_jen 32 points33 points ago

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Come on guys. Cut it out.

[–]GrandviewOhio 17 points18 points ago

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the fabric of time and space just broke

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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It's the very fabric of this site.

[–]collegetry 139 points140 points ago

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i see it, i understand it, still dont think it should work

[–]VAG_Pounder[S] 193 points194 points ago

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http://i.imgur.com/dFfTv.gif , this might be a little better.

[–][deleted] 248 points249 points ago

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Perfect. Like when a foreigner can't understand me so I shout the same thing at them.

[–]Poultry_Sashimi 7 points8 points ago

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How fitting, it is people like you that are the reason I drink.

I kid (I think...)

[–]wshs 31 points32 points ago

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What's keeping the blue spindle from flopping all around, since the green thread can freely pass it on all edges?

[–]happyscrappy 17 points18 points ago

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You mean the white spindle with the blue thread on it?

It's called a bobbin. It's fixed in place. The whole thing is held in place and all the thread comes in from the side (face).

The only way I can think of it right now to describe it is it's like looking at a skee-ball machine. If you drew a 2-D picture, it would look like 3 concentric rings so nothing can get to the center. But it's not 2-D, it's a cross section, and much like a ball can enter from the third dimension, the thread can too.

The bobbin is on a horizontal shaft, with a vertical face facing where the needle will pop down. When the needle pops down, a little whirling finger catches the thread and loops it around the bobbin once, then lets it go and it is snatched back up out by the needle.

[–]dietotaku 5 points6 points ago

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if i remember correctly from watching my grandma set one of these up, the blue spindle lays flat on the bottom of the machine underneath a flap sorta thing. there probably just isn't enough room for it to pop out of place.

[–]brantyr 2 points3 points ago

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http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/jiysr/mystery_solved/c2cjcz4

Check the video he links at the 8minute mark, the hook makes a big loop which goes all the way around and to either side of the bobbin (a small spool of thread)

[–]psyanara 2 points3 points ago

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I'm assuming tension as the blue part should be another line of thread.

[–]koy1 9 points10 points ago

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i think i get it, but i don't see how it's possible to build this mechanism. specifically, what is holding/spinning the red piece, since the green thread is able to go pass the front and back of the circle inside the red piece.

[–]pignewton 9 points10 points ago

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The animation on this page is a little more detailed and you can see how it works. It is a wheel with a notch in it, not 3/4 of a ring.

[–]Ignorantsplooge 20 points21 points ago

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Can't say he didn't give it the ol' college try though.

[–]j_like 3 points4 points ago

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Am I the only one who can only read this with a British accent?

[–]Snota 2 points3 points ago

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seeing as my accent is British, I struggle not to.

[–]kraffft 4 points5 points ago

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The originally posted animation has a problem that this one fixes: In the original, the yellow thread teleports from one side of the gray 3/4 circle to the other as it passes behind the green thread.

[–]b5200 2 points3 points ago

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Thank you, I just spent 5 minutes looking for someone else who spotted this and I was starting to think I was either retarded or hallucinating.

[–]mrvile 9 points10 points ago

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I actually sew quite a bit, I can service a sewing machine, and I still didn't know exactly how it worked. Mind = blown.

[–]juggler9000 2 points3 points ago

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I was a sewing machine repairman for about 7 years, able to repair any and all sewing machines. I recognize those parts and I don't think I ever knew exactly how it works. I just know it works if you time those parts exactly right...

[–]original_locutus 2 points3 points ago

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You have to have the "hook" and needle timing just right or it won't! (About the thickness of a business card or two to give you an idea of the tolerances.)

[–]krnraj1310 72 points73 points ago

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[–]wellmaybe 6 points7 points ago

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I installed Shockwave to watch one of the other animations.

[–]2_pr0 16 points17 points ago

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That loop stitch isn't nearly as cool

[–]madmongolion 26 points27 points ago

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Shits way too fast.

[–]Scaryclouds 2 points3 points ago

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Don't know. It only requires one spool of thread instead of two. Accomplishing the same task with less I think is generally the more ingenious and better solution to a problem.

[–]tHeSiD 2 points3 points ago

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Too much mess underneath.

[–]scsoc 29 points30 points ago

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It may be that I'm biased, having worked with sewing machines more extensively than any other machine (except possibly bowling pinsetters), but I really think they're one of the most amazing machines out there. The amount of precision and timing required and beautiful simplicity are just mindblowing to me. They're so much fun to work on. Bowling pinsetters, not so much.

[–]tireytha 3 points4 points ago

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Is it because women use them mostly that they are not more revered? Not trying to start anything here, just wondering...

[–]NotOkWithThis 11 points12 points ago

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I bet the sybian is more amazing.

[–]ponyrainbow 26 points27 points ago

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[–]pseudolobster 45 points46 points ago

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I still can't thread a sewing machine to save my life, but it's nice to know it operates within the confines of the laws of physics.

[–]EasyReader 2 points3 points ago

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I took home ec in high school, and threaded a sewing machine countless times. I couldn't do it to save my life today though.

[–]pseudolobster 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, I mean I'd be so distracted by thinking "Why the fuck is this guy going to kill me if I can't thread a sewing machine? What a bizarre demand! Why doesn't he just go to a tailor if it's so important?"

[–]HiddenKrypt 2 points3 points ago

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I thread and operate my sewing machine on a regular basis, even tuning it up and fixing some things on occasion. I still think it works by voodoo.

[–]thezebulonian 65 points66 points ago

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cannot tell you how long I have wondered how that worked

[–]elbiot 5 points6 points ago

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I concur, thank you (OP) so much for posting this!

[–]BobaFeta 55 points56 points ago

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can't... stop... watching...

[–]ZebrasKickAss 9 points10 points ago

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I am waiting for the people who will film things like this in high speed cameras. Like Time Warp, but with more mundane things.

[–]baraqiyal 17 points18 points ago

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I still don't see how it works unless it's suspended in mid-air.

[–]dietotaku 7 points8 points ago

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the bobbin (the little round spool) lies flat in a chamber underneath the area where the fabric passes over. as the needle pushes a loop of thread through the fabric, that hook that rotates around the bobbin catches the loop, pulls it around the thread coming off the bobbin, and releases once the threads are intertwined. just take everything in the image underneath the line of fabric and rotate it 90 degrees.

[–]jnnnnn 7 points8 points ago

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Well, the bobbin is not on an axle, if that's what's bothering you.

[–]HiddenKrypt 2 points3 points ago

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It is on my machine. And what's worse is that it does the same stitch.

[–]Rishodi 3 points4 points ago

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This video might help.

[–]Marchemalheur 25 points26 points ago

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what devilry is this?

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points ago

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it's not delivery, it's DiGiorno

[–]karona513 5 points6 points ago

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Pizza AND cookies!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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And Wyngz!

[–]wolf550e 4 points5 points ago

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[–]JanusTheDoorman 3 points4 points ago

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[–]dustinlib 5 points6 points ago

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what is how does a sewing machine work?

[–]Wr3nch 7 points8 points ago

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stitch by stitch, stitching it together...

[–]FrndlyMisanthrpe 7 points8 points ago

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Dressmaking isn't easy!

[–]PsychoDuck 5 points6 points ago

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Ugh, tell me about it! And customers can be so picky...

[–]NOT_A_BUMBLE_BEE 2 points3 points ago

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I am stunned every time I see that.

[–]lebleuceleste 2 points3 points ago

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Am I the only one who still doesn't understand? How does the green strand get through the yellow one

[–]luckycypher 2 points3 points ago

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Am I the only stupid asshole that still doesn't get it?

[–]cultic_raider 2 points3 points ago

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[–]apullin 12 points13 points ago

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We've been though this before.

http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/659vj/so_thats_how_it_works_if_youve_ever_wondered_how/

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6cjdx/gif_showing_how_a_sewing_machine_works/

http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/eoluf/til_how_a_sewing_machine_works/

Now someone posts the GIF of the Geneva Wheel mechanism ... then the Amazing Blue Ball Machine GIF, then someone posts that fake Honda "Cog" commercial, and they all take another trip back to the front page.

[–]xphaser99x 4 points5 points ago

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This makes me want to build my own sewing machine from scratch.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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It reminds me of that guy in the boiler room with the long mustache in Spirited Away

[–]McQuack 7 points8 points ago

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I have wondered this since i was like 5.

[–]0verLord 8 points9 points ago

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i like sewing.

[–]Hot_Sacks 8 points9 points ago

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I like turtles

[–]Obj_solid 17 points18 points ago

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i like sewing turtles

[–]DesertSherpa 5 points6 points ago

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Repost

[–]RumRunn3r33 2 points3 points ago

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Yup. Maybe I'll start making a list of all the reposts that routinely get like 1000+ karma, wait a few months, and start posting them again.

Then again, I'm lazy and I don't care enough. So I'll let someone else steal my grand idea.

[–]eissirk 4 points5 points ago

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very cool. saving this to show to my sewing club at summer camp.

[–]IdTugYourBoat 11 points12 points ago

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I don't even want to...ahh you know what? Have fun at your summer camp. You go have fun.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This is a very informative thread

[–]UltraJake 1 point2 points ago

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You all missed the awesome sewing machine sale Newegg had a few weeks back.

[–]JailbreakHawk 1 point2 points ago

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Way to ruin one of the great mysteries of the universe.

[–]Octo-pie 1 point2 points ago

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I learned this from my own experience selling sewing machines and sewing machine accessories.

[–]Derpi5 1 point2 points ago

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genius engineering!

[–]drawdelove 1 point2 points ago

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I have a sewing machine and never figured that out! Genius.

[–]bendrigar 1 point2 points ago

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I have always wondered how that worked. Thanks!

[–]SubyReeves 1 point2 points ago

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I worked in embroidery for a couple summers. This dumbass i worked with started the machine while his finger was under the needle. It broke off immediately after it entered his finger through his nail. I'm pretty sure it's still there today.

[–]RonaldoMessi123 1 point2 points ago

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Stuff like this makes me realise no matter how smart I will become, I'll always be retarded in some genius's eyes.

[–]ndolan89 1 point2 points ago

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Watched for 2 minutes, still no idea how the hell this works.

[–]Rivensteel 1 point2 points ago

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Sadly, much clothing is made with the vastly inferior chain stitch.

The More You Know ~~~~~~~~~~~*

[–]balladavid 1 point2 points ago

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Funny thing. I still dont know what the fuck it is.

[–]YupThatGuy 1 point2 points ago

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Most useful thing ive ever learned on reddit

[–]xoe6eixi 1 point2 points ago

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How many VAG's did you have to pound to get this information?

[–]rwgordon 1 point2 points ago

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Sewing machines? I had no idea what this post was about...and to find out that it's about Sewing machines! Bahh, I just .... bahh!

[–]Dotcommie 1 point2 points ago

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If you think that's amazing, you should check out how needle and awl machines work. Most sewing mechanisms haven't changed in nearly 100 years and that is amazing!

I still can't get over how crazy these awl machines are though... Go to 1:03 to see sewing through a bunch of leather as well as a penny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIR5WE9MVx4&feature=related

[–]jonquest89 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you! I have tried to work this out in my head over and over for probably 8 years when it occurs to me. Never understood how it would be possible with a single thread--Answer == 2 threads!!!

Mystery solved indeed.

[–]wellmaybe 1 point2 points ago

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Nice thread, op.

[–]gotnull 1 point2 points ago

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It's how a fucking sewing machine works. For fucks sake.

[–]BlackStarLine 1 point2 points ago

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Th..Thank you... I... I have always.... just... Thank you.

[–]Melant 1 point2 points ago

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Magic. Got it.

[–]benw24 1 point2 points ago

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"This just raises further questions!" -- H. Conrad.

[–]wyrosbp90 1 point2 points ago

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now i need a video of how a loom works

[–]phizzleout 1 point2 points ago

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I still dont get it.

[–]Lanza21 1 point2 points ago

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Up until this day, I understood quantum mechanics more thoroughly then I did sewing machines.

[–]yoonssoo 1 point2 points ago

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I still don't get it.

[–]Imreallytrying 1 point2 points ago

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I still don't get it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What am I looking at here?

[–]WhitTheDish 1 point2 points ago

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For anyone who has spent time using a sewing machine, bobbins are the bane of my existence.

[–]joewhyit 1 point2 points ago

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VAG_Pounder, you're a fucking luminary. Thank you.

[–]Robustion 1 point2 points ago

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REPOST!

[–]gerardubbs 1 point2 points ago

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And without the sewing machine we probably would never have had the reflex movie camera. First invented in 1937, it first featured a rotating semi-circle (mirrored) shutter which intermittently allows half of the light to the film plane, then diverts half of the light to the cameraman's eyepiece. While the light is being diverted to the eyepiece, a claw yanks down the next frame of film. It all happens 24 times a second.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Moviecam_schematic_animation.gif

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arriflex_35

Also relevant:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/Geneva_mechanism_6spoke_animation.gif

[–]stonefan 1 point2 points ago

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It looks like this mystery has already been solved. Twice.