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all 100 comments

[–]BeatDigger 25 points26 points ago

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Orthadoxly ಠ_ಠ

[–]factorysealed 3 points4 points ago

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Hope they didn't get too many of those printed

[–]Beer_Is_So_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

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I came here to post this, but on second thought I don't see Orthodoxly in the dictionary either.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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A face of disapproval that I can see in OS X? What is this sorcery?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Oh, I just upgraded to Lion. It's nice to see that Apple cares about Redditors.

[–]Beer_Is_So_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

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Duh. This was the only reason they developed Lion. Snow Leopard was one Look of Disapproval away from perfection.

[–]OmegaVesko 0 points1 point ago

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Lion actually shows the Windows character now.

[–]yetii8 16 points17 points ago

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Beardliness is next to Godliness.

[–]icepigs 56 points57 points ago

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Where's "ZZ Top-ish"?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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A-how-how-how-how long would that be, exactly?

[–]no_frill 26 points27 points ago

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In Canada we call them Zed Zed Top

[–]TheBobYouKnow 1 point2 points ago

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In the midwest united states we call them Led Zepple Top

[–]benmanbs 1 point2 points ago

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This made me laugh harder than it should have...

[–]SeverePsychosis 1 point2 points ago

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I've officially been on reddit to much this morning.

[–]flyinchipmunk5 -3 points-2 points ago

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i get it

[–]Sure_lll_Eat_That 5 points6 points ago

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The fuck you do.

[–]mynameishutch 2 points3 points ago

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Where's "ZZ Top-ish"?

Billy Gibbonsly* FTFY

[–]tanketom 0 points1 point ago

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And how long is "Frank Beardly"?

[–]eyerollz 0 points1 point ago

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It isn't

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It would be somewhere around the crotch.

[–]pickle-weasle 4 points5 points ago

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Looks like Sage Francis

[–]tronlord500 2 points3 points ago

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Is that not Sage Francis? ZOMFG

[–]smiggers89 0 points1 point ago

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Looks more like B.Dolan. But they look pretty similar to each other too!

[–]pickle-weasle 0 points1 point ago

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B. Dolan doesn't wear glasses

[–]Pravusmentis 10 points11 points ago

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You have to grow a beard, then you'll be a wizard Harry

[–]Honestly_ 5 points6 points ago

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This guy is a friend of mine :)

He judges a local beard competition and one of his fellow judges made this shirt and asked him to model it. I'm happy to see it here.

Oh, he's gonna hear about this --hope it makes it to the front page!

[tried to avoid violating the no personal info thing]

[–]Honestly_ 1 point2 points ago

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Here's what he emailed me earlier:

"I guess I'm a model now for The Beardly, a blog done by one of the other judges from the beard competition. And yeah, I'm slightly tilted up so you can see most of the shirt... but he also got me an XXL which is gigantic on me. I should normally be about to "saintly" in case you were curious."

[–]Secondbaseninja 1 point2 points ago

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To be honest, it seems like the scale should be situated higher up on the shirt. Like "Manly" should be very close to the collar, I understand the man was wearing a big shirt and it was angled up, but he had a very long beard and it barely made it to like the third or fourth level. And i think it should be a little longer than saintly if it was positioned correctly, but oh well.

[–]Herax 2 points3 points ago

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Hillbillyly - My new favorite word

[–]ScottCarmichael 0 points1 point ago

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^ "Hillbillyly - Ma noo fav'rit wurd...dagnabbit."

[–]thefreehunter 0 points1 point ago

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Dagnabbit is mountain-man. The hillbilly equivalent would be closer to "I tell you what".

[–]skritch 2 points3 points ago

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It's missing Unixly

[–]xeltius 2 points3 points ago

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I'm off the charts. Sadly, not in a beardly way. ):

[–]nesagwa 4 points5 points ago

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Hey, that's my buddy John. Crazy.

[–]CJAX -1 points0 points ago

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I know this person too. This is weird.

[–]WSUkiwi 6 points7 points ago

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No terroristly?

[–]ouldsmobile 0 points1 point ago

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lmao came here to say the same. :-) Upvoted.

[–]bobmystery 1 point2 points ago

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Linux-ish

[–]ubelong2matt 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I could grow a beard. :(

[–]baconatedwaffle 2 points3 points ago

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I'd need a turtleneck with something like "Italian mother" on it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"Presidentialy" does not fit the pattern and it bothers me more than the misspelling of "orthodox".

[–]HotDinnerBatman 2 points3 points ago

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I wish more people knew about r/beardporn so we can see more of these posts :(

[–]taint_skank 2 points3 points ago

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Jonno!!!!

That guy! I know him!

[–]IrishWaterPolo 4 points5 points ago

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where is "ZZToply"?

[–]DocBrown1984 -2 points-1 points ago

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Dammit, came here to say this.

[–]Vonstemmington 4 points5 points ago

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So did icepig, an hour before IrishWaterPolo, but that didn't stop him!

[–]lameWB 0 points1 point ago

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Most awesome t-shirt ever.

[–]NotTrying2Hard 0 points1 point ago

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I think a woman(or man I suppose) with big enough breasts and a decent beard could go from saintly to godly.

[–]Sure_lll_Eat_That 0 points1 point ago

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Next put this on the legs of jeans.

[–]El_Embrague 0 points1 point ago

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Everyone go search "Jack Passion" in google. 2 Time world champion of Full Natural Beards. Great guy, and he is a beast of a beard.

[–]elcapitan29 0 points1 point ago*

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would any woman really want to kiss a guy with a beard like that? Just curious

Edit: grammar

[–]thefreehunter 2 points3 points ago

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Why would any woman want to kiss a beard anyway?

[–]Mad_Murdock_0311 0 points1 point ago

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How does neck size play into this? Some dudes have longer necks than others, therefore this would not be an accurate portrayal of beard status.

[–]disposablechild 0 points1 point ago

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Who else has been watching Whisker Wars?

[–]Rockjaw 0 points1 point ago

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I measure my beard by what I can tuck it into.

[–]fluxdrip 0 points1 point ago

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The grammar nazi in me wants this to read "A novel system for measuring beards." When I try picture the title as written, I imagine a collection of beards, perhaps shorn from their owners, each with known lengths and therefore as a set usable for measurement - eg, "This sheet of paper is one 'Saintly' and one 'Cavemanly' in length"

[–]peter-pumpkin-eater 0 points1 point ago

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I refuse to accept this scale - it's missing "goodly" (the presence of "godly" just highlights the lack of goodly in my mind)

[–]MrWingtipShoes 0 points1 point ago

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"Before 1858, beards were socially acceptable only when worn by artists, writers, and pioneer settlers. The Knickerbocker Magazine of 1851 devoted three issues to a tirade against young New Yorkers who had begun sporting beards. They were called 'A disgusting insult to refined society.'" - The Vanishing American Barber Shop

[–]iconfuseyou 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad the people who could get the most use out of that scale will probably never wear it.

[–]kemitche 0 points1 point ago*

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[–]NOT_AN_ADJECTIVE 0 points1 point ago

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This hurts so much, my eyes are twitching.

[–]TylerWyrick 0 points1 point ago

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"Beardly" should be changed to "Dumbledore."

[–]cmdrhlm 0 points1 point ago

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Lacks EPIC.

[–]d_b_cooper 0 points1 point ago

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There's no Alan Moore. I HEREBY DECLARE THIS CHART NULL AND VOID.

[–]stoiQ 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the Epic Beard Man length?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Civil War Generaly speaking...

[–]chief-awesome 0 points1 point ago

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i'm pretty sure lumberjackly should be the longest, but then again this is coming from a canadian

[–]cupcakes6 0 points1 point ago

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No Sikh warrior?

[–]Scooter30 0 points1 point ago

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No ZZ Top=fail.

[–]TheBobYouKnow 0 points1 point ago

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According to this system, the guy in the picture is at most truckerly. I think he's at least reached the saintly level.

[–]chka 0 points1 point ago

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Terroristly

[–]you_are_not_prepared 0 points1 point ago

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To become Presidentialy, you must first become,

Cavemanly,

Truckerly,

Hillbillily,

Bigfootly,

Hippiely, etc.

[–]thmoka 0 points1 point ago

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I cannot even into peach fuzz. Make sad.

[–]Aviscer 6 points7 points ago

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I think you accidently a word there.

[–]Finntastic -1 points0 points ago

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I think they accidentally a few words.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I would make sad but I don't know how...

[–]Timekpr -2 points-1 points ago

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"Bea(r)ds." "BEES?" "BEA(R)DS." "BEA(R)DS!?"

[–]woodstock923 1 point2 points ago

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I read the title and asked myself "Beads!?"

[–]Timekpr 0 points1 point ago

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An upvote for you, good sir. Apparently there is not that much love for AD in this subreddit today.

[–]stormshadow2400 0 points1 point ago

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I did the same thing myself.

[–]yethegodless 1 point2 points ago

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This was so dumb that I couldn't help but upvote it.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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Bears.. beets.. battlestar galactica.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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where is "Mother Fucking Gandalf Status"?

[–]bobbybarista 9 points10 points ago

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Perhaps in the "Wizardly" category?

[–]Askalad -3 points-2 points ago

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But isn't he enough of a wizard to warrant his own category? Perhaps Wizardly should be split into Merlinly and Gandalfly?

[–]bobbybarista 0 points1 point ago

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That may be true, but it would clutter the shirt.

[–]mrhomer 1 point2 points ago

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and would ignore dumbledore.

[–]Askalad 0 points1 point ago

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I guess...

Maybe an alternate shirt for several types of wizards?

[–]kaajit -4 points-3 points ago

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Fuck Gandalf, it's all about Dumbledorely

[–]Oboydhs -1 points0 points ago

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I believe its missing "Majestic"...no "ly" suffix needed

[–]nematoad86 -1 points0 points ago

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where is muslim-ly?

[–]viralizate -1 points0 points ago

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Please reddit, tell me where I can find that on the interwebs! I'm sure I'll wont be able to buy it because I live in the southern hemisphere, but still would like to try!

[–]viralizate 3 points4 points ago

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Ok. I'm an idiot.

http://thebeardly.com

Says so in the fucking image.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Honestly, I'm tired of this beard crap. It looks awful, and it's not really funny. I could grow a beard if I wished, but I like things like sex and self respect too much to try that hard.

[–]AmishRockstar -3 points-2 points ago

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This is nonsense...beards are rated Douchebag to Dumbledore.

[–]beardbeast 0 points1 point ago

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says the guy who can't grow one

[–]AmishRockstar -1 points0 points ago

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My beard is older than you are, sonny.

[–]beardbeast 0 points1 point ago

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men with 30 year old beards should not be referencing childrens literature.

[–]AmishRockstar -1 points0 points ago

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Riiiight...because nobody over 30 has even heard of Harry Potter.

[–]ssinatra 0 points1 point ago

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Harry who?