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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] 717 points718 points ago

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"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called Everybody. They meet at the bar."

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 62 points63 points ago

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What do I do if I am addicted to support groups?

[–][deleted] 170 points171 points ago

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Start a fight club

[–]sleepybandit 9 points10 points ago

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I deleted my comment only to find 2 others... ah well.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 16 points17 points ago

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I thought it was a "disco ball" moment, because I had 4 identical replies within a minute or two.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I was joking. Now i feel bad that you deleted your comment. :(

Have an upvote at least

[–]sleepybandit 1 point2 points ago

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It's ok. I'll survive. It is sad to think that there are others thinking the exact same thing as me at the exact same moment.

[–]FartingBob 24 points25 points ago

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Get a night job, Beat yourself up in front of your boss, sue. Use money from lawsuit to plant bombs in banks using army of brainwashed anarchists. Shoot self in face. Listen to The Pixies.

[–]bettse 17 points18 points ago

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I might have missed a couple steps. I just got a night job and listen to The Pixies. I'm still pretty happy.

[–]anstewpidmoran 4 points5 points ago

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You know that Fight Club thing? Yeah, you should try PTA meetings.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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Passive-aggressive fight club.

[–]wreckemtech 91 points92 points ago

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-Ronald Reagan

[–]reylor 73 points74 points ago

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-Michael Scott

[–]xstaticxgpx 72 points73 points ago

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-George Carlin

wait....

[–]danthemango 8 points9 points ago

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-Carl Sagan

[–]pingas 24 points25 points ago

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-BILLY MAYS HERE

[–]The_designer_pro 5 points6 points ago

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-ABRAHAM LINCOLN

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You have fucked up now. Now you fucked up.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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-Drew Carey

[–]Monarchy44 17 points18 points ago

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Ronald Reagan didn't hate his job!

[–]holycrapitstony 6 points7 points ago*

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[–]normalboy 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I voted down because I read the name and remembered reaganomics

[–]Gradual_Nigger 262 points263 points ago

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This is so true. What is it something like statistically, 87% of Amuricans hate their jobs? I no my black ass be wishin i even hada job to be hatin on.

[–]TheyCallMeSuperman 135 points136 points ago

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Interesting novelty account you have there.

[–]asininequestion 1 point2 points ago

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How's that novelty account you been workin on? Hmmm...that novelty account?hmmm?noveltyaccount?hmmm

[–]dontknoworcare 18 points19 points ago

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This novelty is absolutely tremendous.

[–]Gradual_Nigger 38 points39 points ago

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Glad you care, you wondaful sumuhmuhbitch!

[–]peregrine 4 points5 points ago

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Come to Wisconsin, where beer is cheap and there are more bars then places to work!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]toupare17 123 points124 points ago

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Yea well I'm in college and work at Walmart...I have contemplated homelessness

[–]RogerDeanVenture 73 points74 points ago

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Stay in college to get outta Walmart and you'll feel soooo much better about life after that. Nothing sucks more than large-scale service retail.

[–]toupare17 19 points20 points ago

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Oh believe me, got one year left of school and I will be the fuck out of that miserable place

[–]RogerDeanVenture 24 points25 points ago

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Find one of those "pranks to do at Walmart" lists and go through each of them after your last shift. (My personal favorite is recording yourself SCREAMING like your dieing, with all sorts of violent noises on many CDs, go to electronics, loading them in the CD players, turn them to full volume and run)

[–]bleeeker 134 points135 points ago

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Alternatively you could leave two minutes of silence at the beginning of the CD and casually walk away. Just sayin'.

[–]Adrestea 33 points34 points ago

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When I was a kid, I was wandering around some kitchen supplies store while my parents shopped. They had these egg timers shaped like vegetables on display, and without really thinking, I just started twisting them all to their maximum value out of sheer boredom. There was a lot of them, and it took me a while. It was only when I was leaving the store that I realized that in an hour, they'd start going off one after another for minutes.

[–]H_E_Pennypacker 99 points100 points ago

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for minutes [evil laugh]... they will be annoyed FOR MINUTES

[–]Adrestea 38 points39 points ago*

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Next I'll replace their shoes and make them SLIGHTLY too tight.

[–]OptimusPrimeTime 25 points26 points ago

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I will eat all the leaves on this tree. I will eat more leaves than I should and then other giraffes may die. Ah-ha-ha. I am an evil herbivore.

[–]H_E_Pennypacker 17 points18 points ago

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lol, geraffes are so dumb

[–]gilligvroom 1 point2 points ago

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I will hide berries under a rock where no one has seen, and some animals may die! Ah-ha-ha!

[–]python2121 7 points8 points ago

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Me and my girlfriend did this in Ikea in Brooklyn. We rapid fire twisted every kitchen timer in the bin. Because we are children.

[–]darkshaddow42 7 points8 points ago

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I did this except at a small corner shop in NYC, one filled with overpriced colorful tchotchkes. It was revenge for them playing Alejandro by Lady Gaga 3 times in a row, with no indication of stopping.

[–]NoMoreNicksLeft 6 points7 points ago

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Good, but I'll do you one better. Have the screaming/dying sounds last for about 8 seconds. And then another minute of silence. So on and so on for the entire hour.

That's not long enough to locate what it is that's causing it, and a full minute is just long enough for them to give up the first few times. If you do two copies and put them in machines far away from each other staggered just a bit, it could make it even more difficult to track down.

[–]dnew 13 points14 points ago

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I had a friend who worked at a small Radio Shack. His last day, he took in Thus Spake Zarathustra (aka the theme to 2001), turned it up on all the stereos, and left the store. If you recall, there's a handful of seconds of slowly building music before the big blast. So we're standing outside, and listening to the music out in the parking lot. The windows are literally shaking with the THUM-THOOM-THUM-THOOM-THUMMMMMMM! And the manager is running around inside with both hands over his ears trying to figure out how to turn it down without uncovering his ears. Much hilarity ensued.

[–]ObligatoryResponse 11 points12 points ago

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I had a friend who do whatever he could to get put on "put backs"... walking around the store collecting things out of place and putting them back. He had two techniques to lengthen the job. The first we called ping-pong. Always drop off the furthest item from you next; don't drop of other items along the way. The second is to pick up things from their proper place before walking all the way across the store. These can be used when you're starting to run out of things that were legitimately out of place to put away.

He'd burn through whole shifts doing just put-backs.

[–]sweet_dreamza 10 points11 points ago

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He's a modern day, self created Sisyphus ...brilliant.

[–]wateristasty 1 point2 points ago

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Hahaha, like there are any jobs out there. Walmart might get rid of you for having a degree though.

[–]xmashamm 1 point2 points ago

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And then you'll never shop there right?

[–]Terrorsaurus 37 points38 points ago

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Twist ending: He's an English major.

[–]pyrotechie83 18 points19 points ago

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Soon he'll be homeless, but at least he won't have that fucking job to worry about.

[–]dirtydee000thedi 4 points5 points ago

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We still bleed, you know.

[–]CommonSenseMajor 5 points6 points ago

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No, I think you're thinking of Shylock. English majors gave up their right to bodily fluids.

[–]houseofbacon 15 points16 points ago

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I stopped working at Walmart years ago, but still return to pee on the floors regularly.

[–]OptimusPrimeTime 23 points24 points ago

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I feel sorry for the employee who also hates working at Walmart and has to clean up after you.

[–]KingKane 13 points14 points ago

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Stay in college to get outta Walmart

Haha! As if that works.

[–]ThatsALogicalFallacy 7 points8 points ago

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So would you say, then, that you like it marginally better than homelessness?

[–]abw1987 2 points3 points ago

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There are much worse jobs than working at Walmart. There is no shame in an honest day's work; only pride. Cheer up! :)

[–]lllunchbox 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a grocery unloader at Walmart as my college job. Shit sucks.

[–]toupare17 1 point2 points ago

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Agreed

[–]reylor 310 points311 points ago

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Having been homeless, I can assure you that your job is not that bad.

[–]FartingBob 64 points65 points ago

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Having being in a job, i can assure you that your homelessness is indeed a bit worse, but my job also sucks.

[–]Gradually_Exploding 98 points99 points ago

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Having been a robot, bee boop boop bop boo boo beep.

[–]FreeDirt 1 point2 points ago

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Gradually Exploding didn't deliver...where's the BOOM at the end?

[–]Lokisum 7 points8 points ago

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I like to believe that it'll happen when we least expect it.

[–]TheLoveKraken 3 points4 points ago

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A boom would be sudden.

[–]SickSalamander 49 points50 points ago

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Having been homeless, I can say without a doubt it was the most fun 3 years of my life, but I was still working the whole time so I had money.

[–]reylor 102 points103 points ago

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I can see how having money would've made being homeless more fun and less fail.

[–]HitTheGymAndLawyerUp 30 points31 points ago

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It's like regular life except with no house payments and you live at the YMCA.

[–]TlCKETS 20 points21 points ago

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I used to practice law out of a YMCA. Fuck owning a home.

[–]ellipses1 14 points15 points ago

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YOUNG MAN!

[–]mexicodoug 1 point2 points ago

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The hell with the Y. I had a sleeping bag and slept wherever I wanted. I was young and took showers at any local college gym or when the weather was warm just jumped into the nearest river or creek.

The main obstacle to total bliss was convincing girls that they should take me back to their place for the night. I never got very good at that no matter how often I practiced.

[–]quikjl 21 points22 points ago

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I was homeless for the better part of 2008, but had a small amount of money to make it not so bad.

Selling weed is a job, despite what some may say.

[–]NoMoreNicksLeft 13 points14 points ago

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We say that because most weed salesmen aren't very professional and smoke more than they sell. But maybe you're the type with that hunger for advancement that put in 12 and 14 hour days sell-sell-selling.

[–]SteveCube 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen really professional weed dealers. They always deliver, almost always on time, they are friendly and not sketchy, and some even have points cards. If you get 10 cards you get a free dub. Good business.

[–]sheleftmalfoy 1 point2 points ago

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And you don't have to pay taxes on that income!

[–]quikjl 2 points3 points ago

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I've read in magazines that the average weed salesman only makes 15-25% profit margins, usually (not talking about growers or cartels, just the average middleman like I was)

corporate retail profit margins, like at walmart and target, are 100-300%.

weed dealers aren't aren't on the comeup as much as ppl think. few dealers I knew could even survive as a weed dealer, the other guys always sold ecstasy or coke for higher profit margins but not me

[–]Thukoci 2 points3 points ago

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Wal-Mart has just over 3% profit margin buddy....not 300%

[–]Preech 91 points92 points ago

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Thanks for keeping things in perspective.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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How did you become un-homeless? Did you kill a man and wear his face?

[–]reylor 22 points23 points ago

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If you give away my secrets, I'm going to have to steal your face next.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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Jokes on you, I'm ugly.

[–]IHaveALargePenis 7 points8 points ago

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Having been a member of a drug cartel, I can assure you that being homeless is not that bad.

[–]scientifique 10 points11 points ago

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This is what I try to explain to my mom every time she says she wants to quit her job and be homeless. She has no idea how bad it is to be homeless.

I also have a friend who's like, "Yeah, I'll just grow up and be homeless! I'll have my laptop and go places for free wifi and I'll be fine!" He seriously thinks that would work.

[–]the8thbit 13 points14 points ago

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Depends on where you are, honestly. I hear a lot of kids do that in NorCal, around San Francisco and such. The weather is nice enough to where shelter isn't the biggest issue, you can make a decent amount begging/performing, the people are mostly upper middle class or other kids, and the infrastructure is great for wifi and charging.

Try to pull that in Detroit, though, and I bet you won't have that laptop long.

[–]sprucenoose 8 points9 points ago

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Try to pull that in Detroit, though, and I bet you won't have that laptop long.

Losing the laptop would be the least of your worries.

[–]T0mServo 12 points13 points ago

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...this type of thinking is so short sighted. What happens when the laptop up and dies? What happens on those days where the weather ISN'T so great? What happens when you break your leg? What happens when some hobo rapes you in your mouth?

[–]MasterGolbez 2 points3 points ago

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What happens when some hobo rapes you in your mouth?

ಠ_ಠ

[–]eggo 1 point2 points ago

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What happens? Life continues on. Until it doesn't.

[–]sonicmerlin 1 point2 points ago

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This is why Americans hate homeless people and the poor. They think they're living "the dream" off of other people's backs. Ijitz.

[–]HoboViking 1 point2 points ago

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Having been homeless, I will agree. Worst fucking feeling.

[–]wekulm 46 points47 points ago

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When I see this, it makes me think of Desiderata of which I have memorized and repeat to myself often. I will share with you:

  Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
  and remember what peace there may be in silence.

  As far as possible without surrender
  be on good terms with all persons.
  Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
  and listen to others,
  even the dull and the ignorant;
  they too have their story.
  Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
  they are vexations to the spirit.

  If you compare yourself with others,
  you may become vain or bitter;
  for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

  Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
  Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
  it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
  Exercise caution in your business affairs;
  for the world is full of trickery.
  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
  many persons strive for high ideals;
  and everywhere life is full of heroism.

  Be yourself.
  Especially, do not feign affection.
  Neither be cynical about love;
  for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
  it is as perennial as the grass.

  Take kindly the counsel of the years,
  gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
  Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
  But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

  Beyond a wholesome discipline,
  be gentle with yourself.
  You are a child of the universe,
  no less than the trees and the stars;
  you have a right to be here.
  And whether or not it is clear to you,
  no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

  Therefore be at peace with God,
  whatever you conceive Him to be,
  and whatever your labors and aspirations,
  in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
  it is still a beautiful world.
  Be cheerful.
  Strive to be happy.

[–]mohuohu 16 points17 points ago

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I feel like this bit of wisdom might be too high-brow for this thread, but I found it incredibly uplifting.

It's basically common sense, but it's pithily put and a helpful reminder.

I'd never heard of this poem before. You have provided me with a helpful tool for maintaining perspective in the difficult times I will certainly face ahead.

So...thank you, random internet friend.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago*

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Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, 
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. 
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep. 
Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself; 
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. 

Know what to kiss - and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right, 
But that three...do. 
Wherever possible, put people on hold. 
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, 
And despite the changing fortunes of time, 
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Remember the Pueblo. 
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate. 
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. 
Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you...
That lemon on your left, for instance. 
Be assured that a walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. 
Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. 
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan - 
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch. 
Hire people with hooks. 
For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. 
Take heart in the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese. 

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, 
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be: 
Hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin. 
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, 
The world continues to deteriorate. 

GIVE UP!

You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.

"Deteriorata" - from National Lampoon

[–]wekulm 1 point2 points ago

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Nice, I've never heard/seen that. Thanks.

[–]boolean_union 3 points4 points ago

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At first I was like TL; DR. But then I was like, wait, I have an attention of more than 20 seconds. It is a good poem. Thanks for sharing.

[–]kungfusansu 45 points46 points ago

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Jobs not so bad... its being trapped in a cubicle that kills me...

[–]Raziel66 82 points83 points ago

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Really? I yearn for a cubicle right now. I just have an open desk by the front door with no privacy or real personal space.

A cubicle seems like heaven to me.

[–]nerdmeister 8 points9 points ago

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ditto... although people can still sneak up on you from behind

[–]nerdmeister 5 points6 points ago

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even if i was in a cubicle.. which unfortunately i'm not... that has 2 flaws: 1) it assumes you constantly check it and are checking it at the right moment 2) even if you fulfill #1 it still only gives you a split second to do anything about it...

what you need is a laser grid with alarms to alert you when someone is near, that i'd buy

[–]rothan 11 points12 points ago

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When people wander in that door, I all but flip out trying to minimize whatever reddit thing I have open at that time.

[–]bstampl1 27 points28 points ago

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[–]Soke 10 points11 points ago

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Best invention of the year.

[–]Raziel66 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty much, yeah. I also play some music at a moderate level as well but I always scramble to turn it down or close my speakers when someone comes in

[–]rothan 1 point2 points ago

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Same here. Though if it's 4pm and my boss has gone home, you know I'm probably blasting that.

[–]OhGarraty 6 points7 points ago

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Same, except I have people walking back and forth behind me every 15 seconds or so.

And coworkers complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, when my job is working on a computer.

[–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 2 points3 points ago

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These co-workers sound like real rocket scientists...

[–]wateristasty 3 points4 points ago

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I would love to have an open desk that isn't in a 88 degree 70dB "server room" where the constant noise slowly drives you insane. Once in a while an executive will stop by and say something about getting an AC unit for the room but they say a lot of things.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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They'd rather replace servers early than just get a climate control system? Really? I imagine the cost of a decent cooling system would be around $15K USD, less than a decently configured SAN in most cases.

[–]wateristasty 3 points4 points ago*

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This is a 15x15 room with about 25 "servers" purchased as cheaply as possible by and leased back to the company by one of the executives. We replace every year so he can continue making money by leasing new ones to the company and turning the old ones into desktops. To give you can idea these things are mostly running chinese power supplies with biostar or msi motherboards and phenom CPU's, grandparents PC level stuff.

It's a joke, but it's a job and the only one I can find for now, plus my linux skills have improved 100x keeping all this shit working so that's a plus. The bulk of the noise comes from 8 screamingly loud 1U switches right next to me. The last attempt at improving the temp in the room was to install a bathroom exhaust fan in the ceiling...

Got yelled at for setting up my desk in the break room one time.

/rant

edit: The worst part is all the other employees always make some joke about how hot it is everytime they stop by... Thanks for telling me, I didn't notice how FUCKING HOT IT IS, YOUR SAUNA JOKE IS SO ORIGINAL.

[–]DucoNihilum 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah? I work on a production line, standing, with 35 other people all day, doing the same repetitive task.

But yeah, your desk job SUCKS.

[–]AlphaLima 2 points3 points ago

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No kidding, cubical complainers kill me. Customer service sucks so bad, the only personal space i get is my locker, everything else is in front of customers. I would kill to get my own personal space where i could work.

[–]TheHaberdasher 13 points14 points ago

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I NEED A WINDOW, seriously if they placed me near daylight my productivity would skyrocket

[–]bunk3rk1ng 8 points9 points ago

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I don't have a window either ;_;

My work is basically a giant warehouse converted into offices.

[–]christag 12 points13 points ago

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Ours is a doctor's office turned into a regular office. My office is an exam room. There is a sink.

[–]funnyshorts 15 points16 points ago

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hey man, some people would kill to have a bathroom in their office

[–]war_whale 4 points5 points ago

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He said there was a sink.

Wait.

Nevermind.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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cubicles rock.

[–]RamBamBooey 10 points11 points ago

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My job is so bad I stopped going to Chinese restaurants because the cookies are too depressing.

[–]IThinkImFunny 51 points52 points ago

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Just graduated from college in May. Currently have a government job which pays mid $30K a year, with room for advancement to almost triple what I currently make. I don't do much of anything important and some of my friends make more than I do, but I look at it as a stepping stone to something greater. I live at home, rent-free, paying off student-loans and know that I have it better than a large percentage of the population. I only get to see my girlfriend on the weekends, but I will move out when I get the chance/save enough money.

May not be ideal, but life is good. I've recently learned to stop bitching and to just keep my head up and work hard, and ya know what, the 9 hour workdays fly by now. Working for the weekends.

[–]alphashadow 23 points24 points ago

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This is the appropriate attitude to have. No need to despair when you're still young (plenty of time to do that when you watch your life savings get built up and wiped out and built up again with the economy's ebbs and flows), have a job, have reliable people in your life.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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Very true. Pretty soon he'll be in his 30s, same job, same people in his life but older and some dead.

Then eventually he might scrabble enough funds together for a down payment, maybe marry that g/f and have kids and be locked at home working that job until he's retired.

And the cogs turn ever so slightly

[–]payzeus 10 points11 points ago

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Ouch. Kind of flips life on it's head.

[–]war_whale 4 points5 points ago

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Yes, a placid life free of worries is horrible.

We may always suffer from greener grass syndrome but the awful "soul-sucking" life everyone bitches about is essentially what our species has been going for since day one.

[–]alphashadow 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, I'm 19. No part of what I said equals "have a shitty job forever, don't get anywhere in life, and be unhappy in your relationship." I get having fun and doing interesting things. All I'm commenting on is this idea that young people seem to have these days that somehow they'll be able to live this amazing lifestyle, and I don't know--travel the world or something, for free. The economy isn't great, and times are tough all around, but if thousands of years of history have proven anything it's that people don't need all that much to be happy. I think he has a good head on his shoulders and a good attitude about what really gets you places: hard work. You sound a little bitter; for some people, being married and having kids is a fulfilling, enjoyable experience, not just another job. To each his own, I guess.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Amen bro, wasn't commenting on anyone's mentality, just reality.

[–]builderb 1 point2 points ago

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For some people, it's not about the lifestyle. It's not about having a bigger house or a nicer car. It's not about vacationing in the Bahamas. It's knowing you can achieve more because of the talents and abilities you are fortunate enough to possess but being held back by the necessities of life. Sometimes it feels like the talents you were given and the responsibility to make use of those talents are going to waste, time is running out and you feel hopelessly tied down. You have more to contribute to making the world a better place but whatever reason - life, fate, bad luck - has so far kept you from reaching that potential.

[–]sonicmerlin 1 point2 points ago

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Oh god... that was like a massive gut punch.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]phqu88 3 points4 points ago

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I wish I could maintain this mentality. 22 with 2.5 years left at school. I'm ready to get out and get it over with but I've invested 4 years in it I'm going to finish. It sucks even more because I have plenty of career opportunities with the company I'm with but they are all full time positions. I have to sit here and decide should I drop out or take up the job...I really hope I'm not kicking myself in the head in 10 years.

[–]ychromosome 5 points6 points ago*

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You sound like me from the past. I kept my head up and worked hard and seemed to be coasting along slowly, but steadily. Now I am here.

A few humble words of advice based on my experience: Always have side activities that fulfill your soul, that you are passionate about. Value personal relationships with family and gf. Manage your knowledge and experiences, rather than managing your career. Good luck.

Edit: Also, don't be afraid of changing jobs for something more fulfilling. More often than not, changing jobs is a quicker path for pay raises and career growth, than working hard and loyally in the same place.

[–]gl77 1 point2 points ago

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Living at home? Only bills are college loans? HA! In other words, you don't know how it is in the real world just yet. Here's a towel for the backside of your ears, they're dripping.

[–]corennf 11 points12 points ago

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[–]infodoc1 76 points77 points ago

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This is American society in a nutshell, most people spend most of their time doing something they dislike because it's preferable to homelessness

[–]ThatsALogicalFallacy 63 points64 points ago

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This is the nature of being a living creature. It takes work to survive.

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points ago

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It generally isn't work that is the problem, it is the job. I don't mind working to survive. I mind going through the motions of being a replaceable cog in a worthless machine that produces nothing of value and is an overall detriment to the world. Unfortunately, many people aren't able to get any other kind of job.

[–]upsidedownfaceman 12 points13 points ago

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You could always try to find a remote piece of land and just live off the land.

[–]doinit4lulz 72 points73 points ago

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But how am I supposed to charge my iPhone?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Stand by your phone at an Apple store while it charges and then dive into the garbage for cans on your way out?

[–]upsidedownfaceman 1 point2 points ago

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Solar power?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago*

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Except that you need money to buy the land, pay the taxes on it, pay for permits, inspections, all kinds of mandated features you don't want or need like flush toilets, etc, etc. You find me a piece of land large enough for two adults to live off of that is cheap enough for someone to purchase with little to no savings.

Edit: that isn't intended to be snarky by the way. I genuinely am interested in living off the land, and would be incredibly grateful for any information on finding cheap land that would be suitable.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]NoMoreNicksLeft 1 point2 points ago

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Yeh, in 80 years it will take at least 50 cattle to buy any piece of land worth having.

[–]dnew 4 points5 points ago

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I met a guy who had been voluntarily homeless in Hawaii for 20+ years. Not the life for me, but I could see its appeal.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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It's Hawaii. I'd be homeless there too!

[–]Syriom 9 points10 points ago

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Being wage slaves doesn't help, too. Everyone would have to work way less if we shared our ressources instead of an extremely small group of people owning two third of the world's money. ( but that's like communism man! )

[–]ychromosome 4 points5 points ago

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I have a relatively well-paying job that is relatively secure and I think it genuinely creates value for the company and provides better service to the company's customers. Yet, I am restless and often contemplate checking out of the rat race and going jobless, at least temporarily. Have enough savings to tide me over a year or two of not working at all. If I did that, I would be starting over life with almost no savings and probably struggling to get back into the rat race again a couple of years from now. But I have not been able to work up the guts to check out.

I think dissatisfaction with your job (and general life situation) is a natural human condition, as long as you are not doing something that you are passionate about and that fulfills your soul. This passionate, soul-fulfilling venture need not even be part of your job. It could even be a hobby or weekend activity or something.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I have a relatively well-paying job that is relatively secure and I think it genuinely creates value for the company and provides better service to the company's customers

None of those things matter though. Odds are the company you work for is not a positive force in the world, you're lucky if it is just neutral. Do you actually do anything? People take satisfaction from work because of the feedback of "insert effort, create thing". Most people have jobs that are "insert effort, it is entirely meaningless and pointless, get paid anyways". That is why people who work in skilled trades tend to have high job satisfaction than people who work in an office. They actually do something. Even a ditch digger can look around and see the difference he made at the end of the day, there is now a ditch where the once was not.

[–]kraydel 15 points16 points ago

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The work of other living creatures does not create excess 'profit' that is funneled up to other living creatures that happened to get to the resources first. We are in a unique position in that it is just understood that the value generated by our work is not ours, that our labor is valued at some rate lower than the value we produce because our boss needs to turn a profit off of our labor. It's not a natural phenomenon.

I'm certainly not saying that I'd prefer subsistence farming (although I've never tried it), but the work we do and the work other animals (and also 'primitive' people) do is not equivalent.

[–]wasabian 1 point2 points ago

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tell that to the trees.

[–]Kombat_Wombat 1 point2 points ago

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Or we can realize that we've become twice as, if not ten times, if not a hundred times as productive as we were 90 years ago. In the 1920's was the first time after the industrialization of the States that we cut back working hours to 40 hours a week. If we've become at least twice as productive, then why can we not start cutting back hours even more?

[–]falconear 1 point2 points ago

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I read somewhere that we're working way harder than the people who just had to work for subsistence. Farming and hunting for personal needs takes about 20-25 hours a week. The rest is...well, drinking and trying not catching the plague, I guess, but still. Do we really have it better sitting at a desk all day for 50-60 hrs a week?

[–]slcrook 4 points5 points ago

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What was it George Carlin said "Most people work just hard enough to not get fired, and make just enough money to not quit."

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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I lol'ed because this internship is killing me

[–]HeteroDog 14 points15 points ago

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I'm in the same boat brother.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Are you guys both interning on the Deadliest Catch?

[–]alphashadow 1 point2 points ago

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Clearly he's Desmond from LOST.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I was fine being unemployed, until I had a GF. Then, shit got real.

Otherwise, yea, working (read: wasting 8 hours, 5 days a week, of your life) is no better choice.

[–]IIoWoII 11 points12 points ago

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Damn toiletpaper

[–]philmoskowitz 13 points14 points ago

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That's exactly how employers dial in your work load, pay and misery. Just enough to keep you from going bonkers and walking out. Welcome to humanity's adolescence.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I think your seriously under-appreciating the benefits of riding your homeless shopping kart down every hill you see and beating off anywhere you choose, in front of anybody you could care less about.

[–]rmnature 2 points3 points ago

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The documentary 'carts of darkness' is about just this. It's pretty good.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago*

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Couldn't care less.

It's actually really funny, watch it.

[–]Adrestea 1 point2 points ago

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I think your seriously...

Priorities, man.

[–]zjbird 1 point2 points ago

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I have always said I couldn't care less and I am American. Why does he target Americans? No wonder English people are always so hostile to our education...

[–]thesliver 11 points12 points ago

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I sometimes wonder if people in "less fortunate" countries are actually happier than the average U.S. citizen?

[–]Rock_Strongo 20 points21 points ago

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It's all relative. My mom went to Africa to do charity work and she said they are some of the happiest, nicest people she's ever met. Genuine too.

If they knew better, they might not be as happy... "ignorance is bliss" is cliche but often true. Granted, I think it all goes out the window if you're dirt dirt dirt poor/starving.

[–]phld21 8 points9 points ago

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People always need problems. Either you worry about feeding your kids, or you worry about not giving your kids an X box.

[–]mexicodoug 2 points3 points ago*

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Or you worry that your kids spend all day with their X box and give you no quality time. Millions of parents thought that the end of their workday would include tossing a ball around the driveway with the kids or helping with homework, and have now found that parenthood mostly entails sitting alone in a small room, Redditting, while the tat-tat-tats and booms of endless pointless digital war echo throughout the home.

[–]NoApollonia 1 point2 points ago

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Complete truth.

[–]quantumpsych 1 point2 points ago

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Oh yeah, it's part of the human condition: we see things that are wrong because we have the capacity to drastically change our environment. If we had nothing to complain about, we would complain about things being too perfect.

[–]relationship_tom 2 points3 points ago

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They usually are if they have a good community surrounding them and can take care of their basic needs (Obviously not talking about the worst areas on earth here). You don't become unhappy until you start comparing yourself to those with more.

The West is filled with people that are exposed to those with more and are brought up to give a shit about it. To use it as a motivating factor. There is a constant anxiety running in the background.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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We choose how happy we are, regardless of our status in life (grocery bagger, British citizen, paraplegic, etc.).

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Have you ever tried being homeless? Don't knock it until you have.

[–]Swampfunk 5 points6 points ago

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everyday I get home, rip off my work clothes and throw them on the ground, and I scream " FREEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOMMMM !""" and then run to the nearest awesome thing I can get my hands on and rock that shit. Why? Because I WANT TO!

[–]sarcasm_rocks 2 points3 points ago

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meanwhile we are all on reddit.....

[–]Redcard911 5 points6 points ago

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This job is just temporary till I win the lottery.

[–]gt36 4 points5 points ago

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Have you ever been homeless...?

[–]Medice 4 points5 points ago

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I know this isn't a contest, but I have one of the worst jobs a person can have. i work as a commercial insulator. I'm around a possible carcinogen everyday, plus some of the jobs have asbestos all over the place that my mask will not filter 100%.Furthermore the itch is incredibly bad, and i work in tight confined spaces...so you guys don't have it nearly as bad. Also, did I mention I have a degree in finance?

End rant.

[–]relationship_tom 1 point2 points ago

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I have a commerce degree and I paid my way through university by laying floor and doing electrical work. Let me preface the last part by saying that in Western Canada, you are called to do many feedlot jobs. If you've never been in the middle of a pig lot with it up to your knees, you can't complain about any smell as it being the worst. Burning flesh and bloated cattle that pop smell like roses compared to this.

We also worked in -40 weather in the winter (Obviously no power to the house yet in new homes). You feel like you're slowly dying because you are. And I had to crawl around in those goddamn attics with all the cancerous and itchy insulators. Often without a mask and about 30lbs of tools on me.

[–]fargin_ice_hole 7 points8 points ago

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I like this repost only marginally more than I like no content at all.

[–]Smeernoph 1 point2 points ago

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Is that a Zig Ziglar quote

[–]notaprettygirl 1 point2 points ago

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Somehow I knew this was going to be a someecard when I clicked the link. I thought it was going to be this one, though. (Sorry, I'm way too lazy to put it on imgur, but it's the one that says "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.")

[–]sonicon 1 point2 points ago

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If I could have access to a clean river/lake, sleep in the wild, and be able to forage food from the forest, I would gladly be homeless, but the law won't allow that. Everything is owned or restricted. Living like a nomad, would bring me so much more joy than spending 40hrs a week trying to get people to waste their money-- that they earned doing the same kind of capitalistic job.

[–]ychromosome 1 point2 points ago

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If I could have access to a clean river/lake, sleep in the wild, and be able to forage food from the forest

Is the major part of your desire to be closer to nature or to live a free, nomadic life? If it is the latter, you can still do it in an urban setting. In fact, you'd be relatively safer and have an easier time foraging for food in an urban setting.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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...Since the person who posted this, comfy in their well-worn computer chair, knows so much about what it feels like to be homeless.

[–]s-b-k 1 point2 points ago

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You're doing it wrong...

[–]olmucky 1 point2 points ago

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Anybody else cringe a bit at the attitude of this post vs. the one above it about a trucker whose sister just died, whose funeral he can't attend, and who doesn't quite have the time to post snarky things on the internet while doing his job?

[–]weirds 1 point2 points ago

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I like my job, maybe I'm just weird.

[–]lostandblind 1 point2 points ago

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It's to the point now where I sit on the shitter for 15 minutes every morning just thinking about retirement. I'm fucking 26 years old.

[–]songkran 1 point2 points ago

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1500 upvotes for an ecard? You confuse me, Reddit.

[–]falconear 1 point2 points ago

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We all hate our jobs, apparently. More to the point, we're mostly AT our jobs telling the thread how much we hate our jobs. :)

[–]Tombofsoldier 1 point2 points ago

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But you know, that'll make people work just hard enough not to get fired.

[–]noagendaproducer 1 point2 points ago

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What I wouldn't give to have a job that I love. :(

[–]yatima2975 1 point2 points ago

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[–]schoolairplane 1 point2 points ago

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i majored in english and apparently in today's world good communication and written skills aren't marketable to anyone. FML

[–]n00bsysadmin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]EZRedditor 1 point2 points ago

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[–]nopurposeflour 1 point2 points ago

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I don't hate my job but I can't say I love it. I am just thankful to be working fulltime after 2 years of being under-employed. People at work are pretty cool so far as well.