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all 147 comments

[–]milacekraise 80 points81 points ago

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What is this shit ---> (:

It's :), DAMMIT

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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It's a surprised unibrow. No wonder he dumped her.

[–]HotDinnerBatman 8 points9 points ago

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c:

This one is better. Its cute!

[–]pennyroyal 13 points14 points ago

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More like hideously deformed.

[–]chobi83 0 points1 point ago

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Oh shit...that's a smiley face? I always wondered wtf that was...thanks!

[–]Chazboski 5 points6 points ago

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It's obviously a magnet.

[–]brainstorm42 1 point2 points ago

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no, it's the path to his hard drive

[–]dotted -1 points0 points ago

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Not if he runs Linux

[–]catsfive -1 points0 points ago

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Well, he has a GF, so that rules out Linux

[–]dotted 0 points1 point ago

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No it doesn't

[–]catsfive 1 point2 points ago

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Whoa, got me there! It seems to rule out a sense of humour, too. The formula goes like this:

[operating system] + [girlfriend] = [formulaic joke]

It's not meant to be taken as ().

[–]downcat 0 points1 point ago

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But how does it WORK???

[–]serth71 1 point2 points ago

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(: O

[–]AlwaysAppropriate 0 points1 point ago

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I always figured it was a "monkey goes 'soon'"-smiley.

[–]vertices 0 points1 point ago

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Can't un-see

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]InternetEnthusiast 2 points3 points ago

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No it doesn't. I had an iPhone 3GS and currently have an iPhone 4 and have experienced OS 3 through 4.3.5. This has never happened.

[–]serth71 2 points3 points ago

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on blackberry, ({}) is a hug....looks like an open asshole to me

[–]Shmoops -1 points0 points ago

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This is why.

[–]Root_ctrl 1 point2 points ago

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Probably single because of it. I stopped talking to one girl because she refused to type in lowercase. Even after i told her about it. Its fucking annoying to read.

[–]FrenchGeek 108 points109 points ago

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Fake! : "You're" is used correctly.

[–]itisuptomeguy 49 points50 points ago

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guy saves his girlfriend as "GF<3".. yet still has girlfriend.. ?

definitely fake

[–]TwiiKuu 13 points14 points ago

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Who actually does name his girlfriend GF<3? Way to forget her name. But thanks for the idea, I'll remember it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SolarEyes8 12 points13 points ago

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You are a wise man. Thank you.

[–]attrition0 0 points1 point ago

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I do this with gmail labels. Also I give them all the same nickname/pet name so I never slip up. I may have to delete this in the future.

[–]GravityGong 0 points1 point ago

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Very good point sir.

[–]frickindeal 16 points17 points ago

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Mulva?

[–]Drunkensailorxx 4 points5 points ago

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Bovary?

[–]5one6 4 points5 points ago

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Aretha?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Kretchin?

[–]Drunkensailorxx 8 points9 points ago

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DOLORIS!

[–]Cookiepuss1230 2 points3 points ago

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Blanche!! ... Oh wait we're naming the Golden Girls right?

[–]JustAFakeAccount 1 point2 points ago

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I have my girlfriend's number saved as hername gorgeous. I was drunk and didn't bother to change it after

[–]PeriodBlood 0 points1 point ago

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Denise Handicapped.

[–]Ryan9104 0 points1 point ago

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This is what happens when your "GF" gets your phone in their hands.

[–]pulezan 9 points10 points ago

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You're wrong. This is legit!It happened to a friend's friend of a friend of mine's friend.

[–]scramtek 17 points18 points ago

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Kevin Bacon?

[–]neogenesis38 1 point2 points ago

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Was not in footloose!!

[–]condensate17 0 points1 point ago

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I tried this before. They just don't get the reference.

[–]neogenesis38 0 points1 point ago

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Oh well, at least I can say I tried.

[–]hotbox4u 13 points14 points ago

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yea! My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw this guy pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

[–]jdsweet 1 point2 points ago*

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Buffy wouldn't realize for another 6 years that that guy had just been drained by a vampire.

[–]dhaft88 2 points3 points ago

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Fake! : "Redditor" leaves girl.

FTFY

[–]JViz 1 point2 points ago

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Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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What a brave person, dealing with this sort of things via text message.

[–]scramtek 2 points3 points ago

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The joke wouldn't work as well face to face.

[–]pokeylope 7 points8 points ago

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I think it would work BETTER face to face

[–]OutOfExileFP 5 points6 points ago

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Especially if you had a little smoke bomb

[–]snacpac410 4 points5 points ago

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and a cape. in my experience, bitches hate capes

[–]Aptrgangr 58 points59 points ago

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Tricks are what a whore does for money.

[–]steedamustang05 36 points37 points ago

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ILLUSIONS, Michael.

[–]splinters1987 19 points20 points ago

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C'MON!

[–]roarhergemher 7 points8 points ago

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Board Member: Why should we believe in you? Gob.: For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]steedamustang05 2 points3 points ago

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You only lost them $99.

[–]patsmad 1 point2 points ago

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My favorite line is from later that season

Lucille: I have to keep up my image!

Michael: Illusion, Mother.

[–]logicalnoise -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]Hookhand 0 points1 point ago

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Apparently it's only cool if you do it in novelty account form. Then everyone can't get enough fucking magic cards.

[–]logicalnoise 3 points4 points ago

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No my mistake was not finding some roundabout dumb fucking reference to Pokemon.

[–]DatLe 9 points10 points ago

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.. or candy ಠ_ಠ

[–]armyofkoalas 1 point2 points ago

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Tricks are what a whore does for upvotes.

[–]Achalemoipas -1 points0 points ago

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For kids.

Tricks are for kids.

[–]art0rz[S] 19 points20 points ago

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Tricks are what a whore does for kids? ಠ_ಠ

[–]vampyprincess88 0 points1 point ago

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that would be Trix.. Trixie does tricks..

[–]deputyderp 3 points4 points ago

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Trixie does tricks for Trix. What a tricky tonguetwister.

[–]vampyprincess88 2 points3 points ago

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Trixie twists her tongue during tricks for Trix.

[–]gigitrix 1 point2 points ago

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o_O

[–]masala_salada 12 points13 points ago

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POOF! downvote for fake text conversation

[–]therealcoon 5 points6 points ago

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POOF! upvote for correct analysis.

[–]throw_away_me 15 points16 points ago

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What if someone tried this in reverse as a pick up line? Someone try it and get back to me!

[–]Whitenight2012 23 points24 points ago

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Wanna see a magic trick?

POOF. I have an erection!

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 3 points4 points ago

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challenge accepted.

[–]Dmaster1014 0 points1 point ago

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Send other men to die for you. I like it.

[–]Navster 1 point2 points ago

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I love how these are so obvious... You can see the top-bar so these are the first three textmessages that they did send, which is obviously TRUE!

[–]avail 1 point2 points ago

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Have you seen the new Poof?

[–]mambypambyland 1 point2 points ago

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Wanna see a trick?

POOF! It's a repost!

[–]cant_think_a_name 1 point2 points ago

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ok, it might be fake, but I giggled so it's funny! upboat!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Who in the name of hell saves their girlfriend in their contacts as "GF<3"?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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The girlfriend.

[–]digitalchris 11 points12 points ago

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Fake posters of made-up things.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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People with ugly girlfriends, who would only rank them as a 1 or a 2.

[–]DudeZombie 0 points1 point ago

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People who get drunk and don't want to pick the wrong name.

[–]IIdsandsII 4 points5 points ago

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Poof, that's gay!

[–]bythepowerofgayscull -2 points-1 points ago

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ICWUDT

[–]Forthewolfx 2 points3 points ago

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An illusion! She wants to see an illusion!

[–]nightfire1 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe he left her because she was a whore... just saying.

[–]CaptainMage 0 points1 point ago

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FAKE!

[–]Mariosmustash 3 points4 points ago

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Fake and gay

[–]bdubaya -2 points-1 points ago

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Pierce?

[–]NoReasonToBeBored 1 point2 points ago

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I'd break up with someone too if they used those bastard-backwards smilies.

[–]gordofrog 1 point2 points ago

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Cause if you're gonna be the type who breaks up over texts, do it like a fucking champ.

[–]BrightonGoose 0 points1 point ago

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He was actually just telling her he was a gay magician and was ready to disappear with a poof.

[–]redditor_for_n_years 0 points1 point ago

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I know its fake and all, but all the butthurt dudes would be downvoting it into oblivion if the genders were reversed.

[–]Beanz94 0 points1 point ago

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So wait, did he just come out?

[–]moving-target 0 points1 point ago

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damn was expecting a pencil.

[–]meaker 0 points1 point ago

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'that's the best trick I've ever seen'!

[–]WtfPierre 0 points1 point ago

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Lawlzzzzzz

[–]hazleapricot 0 points1 point ago

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Awful... upvoted though.

[–]imthatguydavid 0 points1 point ago

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Cold Blooded...

[–]Dave_Hulud 0 points1 point ago

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I was hoping for a Joker Reference.

[–]slowfapnotslowclap 0 points1 point ago

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fap...fap...fap.. fap fap fap fap fap

[–]wretcheddawn 0 points1 point ago

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Like a boss!

[–]pgorney 0 points1 point ago

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If it is somehow true, you obviously left out the next few lines where you said "omg j/k baby i luv u soooo much xoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!!! :-*"

[–]trogdor259 0 points1 point ago

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Classy

[–]IluvBread 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch even used correct grammar! :<

[–]MeesaJarJarBinks 0 points1 point ago

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How rude!

[–]TheLoveKraken 0 points1 point ago

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THAT'S how he comes out to her?

[–]Sam_Mack 0 points1 point ago

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Justice for doing one of those ridiculous backwards smilies.

OH LOOK AT ME BUCKING CONVENTION I AM SO COUNTERCULTURE

[–]gigitrix -1 points0 points ago

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EXACTLY

[–]scrash -1 points0 points ago

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it's not different than people using l33t sp34k or saying "yey" or any of the other purposeful misspellings on the internet. People get bored using the same words all the time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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She deserves it for having backwards emoticons, dammit.

[–]mikewoodld -1 points0 points ago

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Fake, but she deserved it for making backwards smilies.

[–]FrostofSparta -1 points0 points ago

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It must have been because she makes her Smiley faces backwards...

[–]chu248 -1 points0 points ago

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Was it because of her backwards smiles?

[–]gordofrog -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]gigitrix -1 points0 points ago

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THIS IS WHAT YOU PEOPLE GET FOR USING BACKWARDS EMOTICONS

[–]botptr -3 points-2 points ago

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Did you leave her drawing smily faces backwards

[–]RyanXM -1 points0 points ago

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Did you leave her because she drew smiley faces backwards

FTFY

[–]BoshiBochi -2 points-1 points ago

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FATALITY

[–]Hemmerly -2 points-1 points ago

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I would remove someone from my life if they did smilies in that direction. It irks beyond reason.

[–]MrGrover 1 point2 points ago

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That's retarded. (:

[–]Hemmerly 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]AnarkeIncarnate 2 points3 points ago

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than

[–]Smarag -1 points0 points ago

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Are you kidding me? The tumblr girl I know IRL posted this months ago. Did we reserve the way original content goes?

[–]Madd0g -2 points-1 points ago

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So, what did you do?

[–]i_am_shazzb0t -2 points-1 points ago

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SICK BURN!

[–]tarthon -2 points-1 points ago

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YouTube has officially surpassed Reddit.

[–]lolnoob1459 -3 points-2 points ago

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Tell me this isn't real.

[–]ProfessorMcLurk 4 points5 points ago

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This isn't real

[–]CantHearYou 0 points1 point ago

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....Or is it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Are you even listening?

[–]CantHearYou 0 points1 point ago

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  • continues to stare at the ceiling *

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TricksForMoney 1 point2 points ago

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That's sad.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]