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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 115 comments

[–]kungcheops 228 points229 points ago

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"This is Amy Parks, reporting live from... sigh ... really guys?"

[–]ChaoticAgenda 82 points83 points ago

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You can tell she just said that by the face she's making.

[–]lg-88 98 points99 points ago

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She looks like she can do a lot more too. BY THAT I MEAN SHES PROBABLY AMAZING AT SEX.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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I'm not sure I understand, can you explain?

[–]BoonTobias 16 points17 points ago

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She's a park goer

[–]Wordwench 7 points8 points ago

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She really knows how to swing.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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She's hot and that means that she's good at sex.

[–]caminator 6 points7 points ago

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Could you explain that like I'm 5?

[–]chipnick87 18 points19 points ago

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She's very pretty, but in a way only older people understand. And being very pretty makes her good at... Erm... Kissing. Except, a lot of kissing in one sitting. Like when you get seconds of ice cream, but better.

[–]Hieroglyph 1 point2 points ago

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Can you explain it like I'm 2?

[–]chipnick87 10 points11 points ago

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You're fucking two.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think the line you are looking for is "sit on my face and tell me that you love me"

-Monty Python 197x

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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cooties - the answer is always cooties

[–]KalisNA 12 points13 points ago

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The perfect reporter for the job

Yeah, the BLOW job

m i rite guys?

[–]puredoubt 1 point2 points ago

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she's obviously a robot.

[–]Razenghan 9 points10 points ago

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"This is Jack Sass, reporting live from... oh very funny, guys."

[–]darcy5d 55 points56 points ago

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Video of the whole shebang

[–]retinarow 35 points36 points ago

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Somehow it's not as entertaining as I had hoped. Fun fact, Amy Park: YOU DON'T GET TO BE BLASÉ ABOUT THIS.

[–]muellkonto 26 points27 points ago

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I chuckled at the joke, and then fawned over the australian accent. You sexy sounding bastards.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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MAAAAAATE

[–]NotSoFatThrowAway 7 points8 points ago

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If a guerrilla with an australian accent wanted to have sex with me, I'd probably oblige.

[–]Lavernius_Tucker 16 points17 points ago

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Wait, guerrilla? Like, A member of a small independent group taking part in irregular fighting, typically against larger regular forces?

[–]NotSoFatThrowAway 2 points3 points ago

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This had nothing to do with me being tired, I just love a small independent fighting group with an accent.

[–]puredoubt 6 points7 points ago

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what about a gorilla?

[–]glitchn 1 point2 points ago

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That too.

[–]NotSoFatThrowAway 0 points1 point ago

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Ew, fuck that

[–]salgat 1 point2 points ago

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Thankfully they have small penises.

[–]NotSoFatThrowAway 2 points3 points ago

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As long as it was australian.

[–]PimpDawg 1 point2 points ago

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Australians?

[–]irmongoose 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sure there's at least one Australian out there who's engaged in guerilla warfare...

[–]NotSoFatThrowAway 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, wow, the gems you find when you wake up after sleep-deprived redditing.

[–]redditallreddy 0 points1 point ago

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Again?

[–]RedSquaree 4 points5 points ago

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Amy Pack reporting from AAMI Pack.

[–]PurpleSfinx 0 points1 point ago

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How you doin'

[–]omglazers 2 points3 points ago

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What a fucking buzzkill.

[–]eatsam 0 points1 point ago

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Austria? Well, g'day mate!

[–]dsnmi 42 points43 points ago

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Now they need to get this guy to report on the Grand Final.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]spoleto 2 points3 points ago

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aami stadium is in Adelaide, aami park is in melbourne. they dont play AFL at aami park.

[–]Bluelegs 2 points3 points ago

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But AAMI park is only a training ground for AFL players located in Melbourne. Rugby is also played there on a regular basis. AAMI stadium is located in Adelaide.

[–]mylastbreath 0 points1 point ago

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AAMI Park is a rectangular soccer field. AFL is played on an oval cricket field. I doubt AFL players train on a soccer field when most of the teams have their own training grounds.

[–]Smills29 0 points1 point ago

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I'm an Australian redditor and I have never heard of AAMI Stadium or the MCG, so thanks :).

[–]freezingkiss 0 points1 point ago

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Obviously not a Melbourner.

[–]Smills29 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, from Perth.

[–]AzMoo 0 points1 point ago

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Are you Tasmanian?

[–]probablysarcastic 14 points15 points ago

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Thanks, Amy. Now we go to an amazing story about a fishing tournament held in a small reservoir. On the scene live is Amy Pond. Pond?

[–]2percentright 13 points14 points ago

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Come along, Pond!

[–]FoxtrotBeta6 5 points6 points ago

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Amy Pond here at the Amy Pond reservoir which is undergoing a major flood that is causing the local river to overflow. With me is a fellow meteorologist. What do you think River Song?

[–]kungcheops 1 point2 points ago

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mommy?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm scared :(

[–]megamuncher 35 points36 points ago

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Coming up next - see Amy reverse into a parking slot

[–]urchant 5 points6 points ago

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It took me a few minutes to get this....But then again, it took me a few minutes to look down

[–]ENKC 3 points4 points ago

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Lucky you're with Amy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Incredible how effective their advertising is.

[–]PurpleSfinx 2 points3 points ago

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Okay, this is definitely the LAST time I see something, go 'Hah I should post this to reddit', forget to do it, and see it up here 3 months later.

I mean I'm never going to have a strongs savings account and eventually, investment portfolio with which to pay off my mortgages if I don't start earning some serious karma.

[–]MegaBUD 9 points10 points ago

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Yeah... cause shes hot.

[–]lilstumpz 7 points8 points ago

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I didn't even realize the punchline was in the banner at the bottom. I just thought her being hot made her perfect for it.

[–]Nobody_Nailed_It 0 points1 point ago

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lol could have left out the end of the title and just left it "The perfect reporter."

[–]lilstumpz -1 points0 points ago

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"the job"

...wink wink

[–]Nobody_Nailed_It -1 points0 points ago

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ahhhhhhh i see now

[–]lilstumpz -1 points0 points ago

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I know, it's a bad joke...

http://i.imgur.com/lofxi.jpg

[–]IAmHereAndWhatIsThis 1 point2 points ago

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thanks Dave

[–]BloodSquirtle 1 point2 points ago

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Amy good gorilla

[–]R01sa 1 point2 points ago

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(Insert yo dawg... joke here)

[–]bobshirunkel 1 point2 points ago

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Saving this in my nominative determinism file http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The address for AAMI Park is 1 Batman Ave Melbourne VIC 3000, Australia (03) 9286 1600.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The perfect reporter for any job.

[–]Estoye 1 point2 points ago

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Meanwhile, Toxic W. Astedump is standing by for his assignment.

[–]RedSquaree 1 point2 points ago

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[–]specialk16 2 points3 points ago

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DAT ACCENT

Dear god. It's so.... beautiful.

[–]browster 3 points4 points ago

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[–]dave247 0 points1 point ago

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She doesn't look like she gives a shit.

[–]Herostratus 0 points1 point ago

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Shes got her name all over this one...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Clearly it's the story she was born to cover.

[–]kasim42784 0 points1 point ago

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she's the perfect reporter for every job.

[–]nimajneb 0 points1 point ago

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I remember when Lewis "scooter" Libby was in the news and NPR had a reporter named Libby Lewis who would report on the trial.

"And this is Libby Lewis reporting on Lewis "scooter" Libby." :P

[–]ghostbackwards 0 points1 point ago

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I'd like to park her amys.

[–]Civuck 0 points1 point ago

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I once saw on a local evening newscast during sports: "Fred Blowes/Girls Head Coach" during one of the highlight reels. Google it.

[–]0alexander 0 points1 point ago

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top... men...

[–]BurtonWarpup 0 points1 point ago

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[–]BurtonWarpup -1 points0 points ago

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As a gentleman with the surname Park, I LOLd.

[–]aeoz 0 points1 point ago

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...Ji Sung?

[–]BurtonWarpup 0 points1 point ago

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Nope.

[–]hateboss -1 points0 points ago

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I have a friend in Korea who goes by the name Ami Park. Pronounced Ah-mee, and of course, Park being one of the most popular family names there. She would have been much more suited for this!

[–]hairyassandballs -1 points0 points ago

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Wish she would park on my face

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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HA!

[–]pogo123 -2 points-1 points ago

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I see your Amy Parks and raise you Charlotte Jackson from Sky Sports News (UK)

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 -3 points-2 points ago

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Was there really no reporter named Amy PARK available for the story?

[–]elmariachi304 -3 points-2 points ago

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I can think of a couple other jobs she's just perfect for...

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

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God she's cute...

err, I mean, yeah funny name...coincidence...thing