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all 132 comments

[–]daspolo 66 points67 points ago

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This is strangely inspiring.

[–]ForamenOvale 120 points121 points ago

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[–]Lix0r 20 points21 points ago

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Thank you.
Seriously, who reposts old advice animals instead of making their own?

[–]pcihak 14 points15 points ago

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AND posts to pics. Whore for karma

[–]abcdefghijlmpqrstuyz 5 points6 points ago

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Dwight Schrute is not portrayed by Rob Schneider, how is this an advice animal?

[–]shitshowmartinez 5 points6 points ago

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you know what the most reposted thing on reddit is? complaints about reposts. so, please, just shut up.

[–]abcdefghijlmpqrstuyz 3 points4 points ago

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What's even worse is comments like yours, and mine. It just gives more attention to the fact that it's a repost and makes the page filled with even more off topic comments.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Which reminds me, why don't we hear more about that phone hacking thing? Or Iraq for that matter?

[–]phld21 0 points1 point ago

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The whores get angry when you call them out on their whore behavior.

source: a man whore

[–]Lix0r 1 point2 points ago

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Reposting an article is one thing, but this is a little different. There's kind of an understanding that rage comics and advice animals are generated by the community and then posted by the author, once.

[–]contranigma 3 points4 points ago

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False, this is not an animal.

[–]pants_with_a_fan 8 points9 points ago

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Humans are animals.

[–]IhadAIDS 1 point2 points ago

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I'm so mad about the things you just described.

[–]GottaLottaOttas 6 points7 points ago

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The "problem" of reposts will never be solved because

1) people will always post stuff without checking if its ben posted

2) people will always upvote things they haven't seen before, including reposts

3) most people visiting this site don't really give a shit about 1) or 2)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I really don't give a shit about 3).

[–]aeiiro 39 points40 points ago

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[–]troydm 1 point2 points ago

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Dwight is dead! Long live Dwight!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Granite-M 10 points11 points ago

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False. The American Office was an excellent television show, though not as excellent as Battlestar Galactica.

[–]o0DrWurm0o 4 points5 points ago

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Nothing is as excellent as Battlestar Galactica.

[–]indoobitably 4 points5 points ago

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False, Pornography.

[–]m3ga_man 0 points1 point ago

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stop downvoting this you hypocritical sons of bitches

[–]Brandon749 0 points1 point ago

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Bears

[–]BonKerZ 2 points3 points ago

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I wonder how the Pakistani one is going.

[–]I_give_insults 3 points4 points ago

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You mean the Kelly Kapoor show?

[–]aiux 1 point2 points ago

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She is indian.

[–]I_give_insults 3 points4 points ago

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No, you insensitive prick, she's American.

[–]aiux 0 points1 point ago

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why is calling someone who looks like an indian indian being an "insensitive prick", may I ask?

[–]morpheousmarty 0 points1 point ago

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How about we call you European? (Please be American, please be American...)

[–]1_upped 14 points15 points ago

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Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

[–]Thomas1122 2 points3 points ago*

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Bears do not... What is going on? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[–]1_upped 4 points5 points ago

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Michael!

[–]Thomas1122 5 points6 points ago

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Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

[–]Thedwightschrute 0 points1 point ago

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this is a point of fact.

[–]feelmyice 0 points1 point ago

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Michael!

[–]StealthSauce 1 point2 points ago

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Well there are basically two schools of thought...

[–]jmac 0 points1 point ago

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While I was watching BSG on Netflix earlier this year, everytime I started a new episode I would say this to myself.

[–]MyKillK 0 points1 point ago

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Hah. I never thought he meant 'beets' when he said that. I always though it was Bears beats Battlestar Galactica.

[–]cereal1 3 points4 points ago

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Well, I believe Dwight owns a beet farm.

[–]bubba9999 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe it's a beat farm.

Dig them block rockin' beets.

[–]sm0114 0 points1 point ago

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ME TOO! The last time this came up I got downvoted for it. I'm glad I'm not insane.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Dammit, where is he?

[–]Red_XIII 19 points20 points ago

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[–]extesser 4 points5 points ago

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... and I think I'll forgo sleep tonight

[–]skenny009[S] 9 points10 points ago

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daddy, i'm scared...

[–]ShadowsAmbience 6 points7 points ago

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burn victim Dwight!

[–]greyflcn 2 points3 points ago

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Ruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruh

[–]Tulki 2 points3 points ago

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SCREW YOU

[–]EvalJow 0 points1 point ago

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This is why you don't use alchemy to try to bring someone back to life.

[–]champer 17 points18 points ago

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False. Decompose is the longest thing you do.

[–]syphilis_tsunami 26 points27 points ago

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False. Many people are cremated.

[–]butchersblade -1 points0 points ago

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Do you not break down further? No carbon half lives?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]butchersblade 1 point2 points ago

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Please, blah blah blah me. I like it.

[–]DFGdanger 1 point2 points ago

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blah blah blah

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]chewp911 1 point2 points ago

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So all the ash from all the fires through all of time exists as ash today?

[–]BankerWhoLeavesAt420 1 point2 points ago

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BOOM

[–]chewp911 0 points1 point ago

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No I mean, doesn't that carbon get reduced or repurposed in something else?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It's about to get cosmic...

[–]butchersblade 1 point2 points ago

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How can ash not break down? What has it become that is so infinite?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"Google it if you don't believe me" is best said when camping.

[–]vincent21212 0 points1 point ago

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no chemists in this bitch?? Whaaaaaa...

[–]morpheousmarty 0 points1 point ago

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Yadda, yadda, yadda, I'm tired today.

[–]mascan 0 points1 point ago

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[–]dydxexisex 16 points17 points ago

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False. Death means the termination of all biological function of an organism. After death, you do nothing, because you are biologically incapable of any function.

[–]Realsan 2 points3 points ago

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Debatable.

[–]dydxexisex 1 point2 points ago

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False. Death means the termination of all biological function of an organism. After death, you do nothing, because you are biologically incapable of any function.

[–]zanycaswell 0 points1 point ago

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I think there are many people who take less than 70 years to rejoin the soil.

[–]Rothulfossil -1 points0 points ago

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Wow, I've never thought of that before. You can live 100 years and your remains will still be around for longer than you were alive.

[–]darkbrethren 1 point2 points ago

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Matter cannot be destroyed. Every subatomic particle in your body has existed since the Big Bang (or the Creation, if that's your cup of tea). And every particle will continue to exist for functionally infinite time ever afterward. The circle of life goes deeper than most people think.

[–]brownestrabbit 1 point2 points ago

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It's deeper than we can think.

[–]markisthis 1 point2 points ago

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Circle of life? I dunno. Seemingly indefatigable matter? Sure.

[–]Syphon8 0 points1 point ago

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If protons do not decay.

[–]thenuge26 0 points1 point ago

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Not necessarily true, as matter can be converted into energy and visa versa. So some of the subatomic particles of which you are made could actually be newer than the life of the universe.

Source: Hawking Radiation

[–]citizen_coping 1 point2 points ago

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He inspired me to tip my Urologist.

[–]JavaLSU 1 point2 points ago

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Tell that to Tupac

[–]goose90proof 1 point2 points ago

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I have explained this countless times to people who make the statement "Life is short."

[–]matlick 3 points4 points ago

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Never thought about it that way

[–]Cheezfri 22 points23 points ago

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False. Now you have thought about it that way.

[–]aeiiro 2 points3 points ago

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[–]neo912 1 point2 points ago

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"I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."

[–]thisguyisalwayswrong 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, I've never much cared for this saying myself. Don't get me wrong, I get it - at any given moment our lives can take a turn for the worse and make us reconsider our priorities, that we can realize that many of the things we just always assume we will 'do later' in life are evaporating away with each passing day - but this speaks only to the 'present moment' of conscious existence. Living in the moment every experience seems fleeting and inadequate, but to be honest I cannot remember a lot of my life I have been going so long.

'Life is short' speaks to mindset of the person that says it. I think it suggests they are not yet accepting of mortality, that they believe they would like to live forever, young.

Quite frankly life seems quite long to me, and I still have much more of it ahead of me in all likelihood and I can accept that joyfully, but at the same time I often contemplate the idea of death and think, won't it be great to finally lay down from existence into the bed of nothingness and simply fade away... ahhhhhhhh.......

The Good Times are Killing Me

[–]synthfreq 1 point2 points ago

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I think you may be blessed with gift of certainty or the path you have taken in life gives you great personal fulfillment and has reduced your fear of death or running out of time. For most people that is rare. I think that most people at some point in their life will feel that "life is short". Whether you wake up one day and look in the mirror and you see a 60 year old person looking back at you, or a young loved one suddenly passes away, or your reflecting on a really positive moment in your life you wish you could encapsulate, its very easy and normal to feel the notion that life has gone faster than you could. Throughout our lives we have so many goals, so many desires, so many wishes we hope to accomplish but the resources and constraints of life makes the ability attain all of these goals an impossibility for most. I for one, have a hard time seeing my death. I am young, all of my close friends are alive, to me death seems so far away and out of touch but I try to keep in mind that my youth is just season of my life and to enjoy life while I can so I can avoid regrets in future. That's why I don't mind the "life is short" saying.

[–]gloomdoom 1 point2 points ago

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I love how this is considered some kind of deep philosophical thought for redditors. And of course it had to be sugarcoated with some kind of pop culture for it to get any amount of upvotes at all.

I guess I should consider this an improvement to a group of people who feel like Fight Club, Donnie Darko and Catcher in the Rye are astonishingly deep stories.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I haven't seen it before, so I lol'd. Hard. [6]

[–]Tvstatic 0 points1 point ago

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This needs inspiring music.

[–]DrumBumification 0 points1 point ago

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False. Many do people do things for longer then they live. Jimi Hendrix will entertain people for much longer than he lived. Egyptian Mummies have scared the shit out of people much longer than they lived. I will decompose for much longer than I lived.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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He's right, except that life is not something you do.

If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.

[–]architectoflife 0 points1 point ago

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Downvoted, for being a repost.

[–]Ante-lope 0 points1 point ago

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I like the principal of this meme, but I'm sure there's a better pic of Dwight for this.

[–]knestleknox 0 points1 point ago

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well doesn't your heart beat longer than the span of your life? unless you count being in the womb life.

[–]RemTar 0 points1 point ago

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False. From conception to when everyone who ever knew you is dead all you have done is been a bad taste in someone's mouth

[–]Thorse 0 points1 point ago

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32 degrees fahrenheit is both the melting point of ice and freezing point of water. So, isn't he wrong since that temperature is both?

[–]zyrtsuryu 0 points1 point ago

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I... He... Um... You got me. I never thought of it that way before.

[–]Panophobia -1 points0 points ago

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I look forward to more of these.....

[–]DwightKSchruteIII 0 points1 point ago

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As do I.

[–]Gatzy -1 points0 points ago

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False. Life is short, relative to the time elapsed already since the Big Bang.

[–]Nikittele -2 points-1 points ago

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False. Just because life is the longest thing you do, doesn't mean it's not short.

[–]Mofeux -1 points0 points ago

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Wasn't this a Mitch Hedberg line?

[–]BoldElDavo 5 points6 points ago

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If I'm not mistaken, it's Steven Wright. I very well may be, though.

[–]Eist 0 points1 point ago

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Also, I remember Billy Connolly made this joke well over a decade ago...

[–]snorch 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure if I'm posting in a joke thread at this point, cause I know George Carlin said this in at least one of his books. Maybe Napalm & Silly Putty?

[–]I_give_insults 4 points5 points ago

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Abraham Lincoln said it too.

[–]snorch 0 points1 point ago

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God damnit.

[–]cenasmgame 0 points1 point ago

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Chris Rock too.

Wonder if Mencia ever made that joke. ;P (He didn't)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You may very well be Steven Wright?

[–]Cast_Iron_Skillet -1 points0 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rodut 2 points3 points ago

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Dwight + Philosoraptor = ???

[–]flied_lice -1 points0 points ago

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That's what she said.

[–]xatmatwork -1 points0 points ago

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Except my penis!

[–]justhewayouare -1 points0 points ago

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Actually the longest thing I do belongs to my husband...just saying.

[–]billybuckner -1 points0 points ago

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He is the definition of an ugly man!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]thisguyisalwayswrong 4 points5 points ago

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Posting on reddit is a sign of narcissism.

[–]haxKingdom -1 points0 points ago*

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Comparing oneself to the timeline of history is a narcissistic act.

[–]synthfreq 0 points1 point ago

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"Life is short" has an abundance of meanings in different contexts. Your chosen context can be narcissitic but there are other ways to apply that saying that aren't narcissistic in the least.

[–]haxKingdom 0 points1 point ago

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I guess it could be said without understanding the implication.

[–]greyflcn 0 points1 point ago

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Believing that the world won't go on just fine without you when you're dead, is narcissism.

[–]synthfreq -1 points0 points ago

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amy winehouse?

[–]Stevoh -3 points-2 points ago

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That's what she said.

[–]sixdoublefive321 -4 points-3 points ago*

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False.
Fingernails grow for a bit after you're pushing up the daisies.
Negatronic, Good Buddy! Over!

[–]StuartGibson 4 points5 points ago

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QI refuted that one. It may appear that is what happens, but it's actually the flesh contracting and drawing back from the nails as you dehydrate after death.

[–]byte1918 5 points6 points ago

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False.

Hair and fingernails do not continue to grow after a person dies. Rather, the skin dries and shrinks away from the bases of hairs and nails, giving the appearance of growth.

Source: Wikipedia

[–]sixdoublefive321 0 points1 point ago

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Damn.

[–]rayjayy 1 point2 points ago

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Your comment just made me realise what the title of the show Pushing Daisies was derived from. Somebody facepalm this for closure.

[–]MyKillK -2 points-1 points ago

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To be fair, your fingernails growing isn't something you really do it's just something that happens...I never thought discussing Dwight quotes could be so philosophical.

[–]Karmaisforsuckers -2 points-1 points ago

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This is the only good meme.

[–]GeorgeLiquor -2 points-1 points ago

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NOT FALSE. Just because it's one of the longest things you do doesn't mean that it's not short.

[–]bonnykate -2 points-1 points ago

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Your logic is correct.