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all 35 comments

[–]nyadney 26 points27 points ago

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...the hammer is my..penis.

[–]TheHammerIsMyPenis 27 points28 points ago

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Indeed.

[–]SwiftSkii 2 points3 points ago

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Only one thing beats your hammer...

And that's HAND!

[–]zzorga 2 points3 points ago

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One year, I'm impressed.

[–]antonbe 0 points1 point ago

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ORLY?

[–]Tiffehx3 5 points6 points ago

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My SO is always excited about any new superhero movie that comes out and since I'm trying to be more supportive of his interests, I agreed to go with him to see Thor.

While it was a good movie, I accidentally ruined it by commenting to him afterwards "I wish there were more shirtless scenes, one isn't enough"

Oops?

[–]Duper 5 points6 points ago

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Went with 4 girls and 2 other dudes, everyone agreed they wanted Thors hammer... He needs to be less sensitive.

[–]zzorga 3 points4 points ago

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So, Thor, being afflicted by carnal urges, decides to partake in mortal pleasures.

What does he spy walking along the beach, but the most ravishingly beautiful woman even his eyes had seen.

After hours of passionate lovemaking, he decides that he will reveal his true form to this mortal woman.

"Woman, I am THOR.'

"You're thor? I'm so thor I can barely walk!"

[–]Tiffehx3 1 point2 points ago

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you had me in stitches!

I can just imagine him in his mighty glory, proudly announcing his identity.

Only to have the woman look up at him in derision and scorn.

[–]zzorga 1 point2 points ago

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This reminds me of Mel Brooks...

" I have a friend named... Biggus..."

snicker

" Dickus... you know."

"He has a wife too, her name is... Incontinentia!"

"SILENCE!

[–]boredandworking 1 point2 points ago

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This Joke pleases me,

throws joke on the ground

Bring me another.

[–]Tiffehx3 0 points1 point ago

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Better yet, I want to be Natalie Portman.

[–]nuclear_cheese 2 points3 points ago

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I want to be a Dragon, but that ain't happening either.

[–]Tiffehx3 0 points1 point ago

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who makes up these requirements in order to be a dragon? nobody? then i daresay you can put on a pair of wings, use a lighter and aerosol can, and BE A DAMN DRAGON.

[–]zzorga 1 point2 points ago

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How about these instead of aerosol can?

Leaves your hands free for plucking up helpless maidens!

[–]Tiffehx3 0 points1 point ago

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I approve.

[–]nuclear_cheese 0 points1 point ago

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Hazaaaa! A solution to my troubles!

Thank you kind sir! I believe you too can be Natalie Portman, you just need to get rid of the original and take her place. No one will be the wiser.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Better yet I want Natalie Portman

FIFY

[–]Tiffehx3 1 point2 points ago

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I suppose if I was a lesbian or bisexual then yes, you fixed it for me. :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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LIES, everyone wants Natalie Portman. Shes kinda like Brad Pitt from fight club, guys where watching that movie and going, "We'll if I had to go gay ..."

[–]Longerhin 0 points1 point ago

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Better yet I want Natalie Portman

FIFM

FIFY

[–]JodoYodo 3 points4 points ago

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Now, I've seen this picture a few times before, but someone please confirm for me, this is fake right?

[–]evaunit06 1 point2 points ago

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yes it's fake, it's from the five nightmares story line. Thor flies away after hitting iron man's armor. They were at a funeral for a bunch of heroes that were killed. Thor is still angry at Tony for his actions in the civil war i.e. using a somewhat psychotic and uncontrollable clone of Thor. Tony gets angry because Thor chipped his armor.

[–]KillaKona 1 point2 points ago

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I couldn't help but to think about Dr. Horrible when I read this.
If you haven't seen that movie already you really should.
It's on instant queue for Netflix.

[–]Wafflesyoumeancarrot 0 points1 point ago

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watched that twice today. excellent movie

[–]whostolemypancake 0 points1 point ago

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If this is in the actual comic, no doubt it's a nod to Dr. Horrible.

[–]Definitely_Not_Gay 6 points7 points ago

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Man, I'd love to play with Thor's Hammer, even for a few minutes.

[–]nedrubwerd 2 points3 points ago

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You give my regards to St. Peter. Or whoever has his job, but in hell.

[–]KamenRiderKuuga 1 point2 points ago

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You look horribly familiar.

[–]google_it_trick 0 points1 point ago

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Who is Captain Thor?

[–]Slipsong 1 point2 points ago

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It's a reference to Captain Hammer from Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He has a similar conversation to this one in said show.

[–]elkranger01 0 points1 point ago

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A BLOO BLOO BLOO

[–]Insertwords 0 points1 point ago

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I was trying to think of a funny or polite way to say it, but I'll just call it out blatantly as a repost. Being said, I think you didn't know, so you've still got my upvote because this is still awesome =]

[–]Lives 0 points1 point ago

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Somebody edit some profanity into this and make it better.