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top 200 commentsshow all 204

[–]DrNgo 247 points248 points ago

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"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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"Michael Scott: What is he doing here? Are you renewing your divorce vows before my deposition?

Toby: Michael I'm your HR rep. I'm on your side.

Michael Scott: Never. I want him gone. I don't talk until he leaves."

[–]EverGlow89 21 points22 points ago

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My favorite Toby hate was when everyone was planning a surprise to make sure everything in the office is how Michael would like it and when Toby walks in, everyone shouts "NO!".

[–]zoidbort 20 points21 points ago

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http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/g1hqt/best_quote_from_the_office_always_makes_me_laugh/

This was the same top rated comment when I submitted this same quote.

[–]mozdef8484 3 points4 points ago

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Really, are the other commenters mad at zoidbort? Shouldn't we be at least trying to post original stuff? I know reposts happen, but I've seen this three times since I've been on Reddit.

[–]sje46 22 points23 points ago

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Please don't:

Complain about reposts. Reddit is dynamic. People come and go, and there are hundreds of subreddits on the front page. Just because you have seen it before doesn't mean everyone else has, and a link's presence on the front page indicates there are a lot of people who haven't seen it before. If you feel it's been reposted, downvote it. The most repetitive content on reddit is "This is a repost." Think about that.

[–]slightlystartled 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, there's a saying for a situation like this. I can't remember what it is, but it involves a tiny violin somehow.

[–]WilliamTellAll 0 points1 point ago

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good for you.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]enhance_that 3 points4 points ago

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You sound obnoxious.

[–]DeadHead13087 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I could see what his original comment said, but he deleted it presumably because he lost comment karma. Another reason comment Karma should be done away with.

[–]Boshaft 0 points1 point ago

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Meh, or you can just downvote deleted posts. There is an edit button after all...

[–]southpaw87 56 points57 points ago*

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Casino Night…

Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We’re gonna…

Toby: Actually, I didn’t think it was appropriate to invite children since it’s… You know, there’s gambling and alcohol, and it’s in our dangerous warehouse and it’s a school night… And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough? Should I keep going?

Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not… that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently it doesn’t exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.

[–]jigalion 31 points32 points ago

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I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

This part is delivered so well.

[–]assman1229 8 points9 points ago

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I think it's Afghanistinanis.

[–]humblerodent 7 points8 points ago

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Afghanistanimation.

[–]FatCat433 1 point2 points ago

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It's time for Afghanistanimaniacs!

[–]eucalyptus 1 point2 points ago

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"Who's got AIDS?"

"Guys, the Afghanistinanis."

[–]Treats 0 points1 point ago

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Well, the butler is basically saying to Johannes Chimpo "Don't let the Great Satan tempt you with the Western culture. You must remain true to the Taliban warlord."

[–]timrobbins 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.

[–]ParAvion 22 points23 points ago

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I hate so much about the things you choose to be

[–]kingsway8605 58 points59 points ago*

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I have never understood why he hates Toby so much, I guess that is the joke though. And fuck you nbc for not ending the series when carrell left.

[–]dafragsta 53 points54 points ago

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You guys are overthinking this. Every time Michael wants to do something extremely inappropriate or dangerous, Toby stops him. Others do to as well, but Michael sees Toby's entire job as being the hired wet blanket to his fun. Someone did also mention that he reports to corporate, so he sees Toby as someone who's always judging him and reporting on him to people higher on the food chain.

[–]ravemaster7 6 points7 points ago

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It's precisely this attitude/viewpoint that makes their relationship so unbearable for me. I understand that deep down, Michael is a fun-loving guy who really cares a lot, but in the end, Toby is only looking out for his best interests. Oh well, it is a comedy show.

[–]Lampmonster1 5 points6 points ago

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Well that's part of the joke. It wouldn't be funny if he had a good reason to hate him.

[–]kingsway8605 0 points1 point ago

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Except that he fucks Toby's replacement.

[–]Nurfy 60 points61 points ago

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It's just a humorous and exaggerated take on the common theme that most bosses don't really "like" the HR department. The fact Michael Scott is the way he is would only make his hatred for HR deeper.

Hands down one of the funniest dynamics on the show.

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 12 points13 points ago

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I was watching the episode where they were all applying for Jan's job at corporate, and while Jim is in the interview he receives a text from Pam. In the background David is still talking and he says something along the lines of "You'll love everyone here, it's a great work environment. Except Kendal, our HR guy, he's just... he's the worst."

All bosses hate their HR guy, apparently.

[–]Nurfy 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, was going to mention this, but I didn't. It's really the point when I realized the full scope of the joke and it made it even funnier.

Another great scene was when they were having the company picnic, and Kendall and Toby are chatting and watching the volleyball game. They were basically the same person. Very funny :D

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 0 points1 point ago

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I never noticed what David said until recently when I was rewatching the seasons, definitely made the whole thing funnier

[–]Nurfy 0 points1 point ago

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We should keep commenting each other. I've recently started to get a real kick out of that little orange envelope.

Perhaps the funniest thing I've seen on the show was in s03e01 - Gay Witch Hunt. It was when Michael kissed Oscar. What makes it funnier is that I saw it originally, laughed my butt off. Then I watched an interview where they admitted that it wasn't scripted - it was Steve taking it a bit far and it paying off. What makes THIS funnier is that you see everyone's reactions to it when they're in the room. Genuinely gut busting haha

[–]thmoka 4 points5 points ago

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DENIED

[–]Meek 29 points30 points ago

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Hands down one of the funniest dynamics on the show.

That and Dwight vs Jim.

[–]koviko 33 points34 points ago

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Hence "one of".

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Hence the "and".

[–]duel007 9 points10 points ago

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Hence the "hence".

[–]stillalone 3 points4 points ago

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That was good in the early seasons. Jim and Dwight don't seem to bother each other as much any more.

[–]kleiner352 1 point2 points ago

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Well the last few episodes with Dwight becoming temporary manager brought it back up; one of the best things to happen since Carrell left was, in my opinion, that whole plot line. Jim sitting in the car as Pam stood outside, waiting on him, was perfect.

[–]paulasaurus 29 points30 points ago

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I've always suspected it had something to do with the fact that since Toby reports to corporate, Michael has no power over him.

[–]jbibby 1 point2 points ago

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This is actually the writer accepted reason of why Michael hates Toby. Heard it on the DVD commentary.

[–]slyk 6 points7 points ago

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I'm pretty sure it's more simple than everything here. I remember reading an interview where, at a writers meeting or read through or something, where Steve Carell said something to the extent of, "What if I just start hating Toby?"

[–]irishsandman 5 points6 points ago

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I've never understood the animosity about the show and Carrell's departure.

if you think it's a foul move, then stop watching the show. it will have effectively been ended because you don't watch it anymore.

or keep watching because the writing and the rest of the cast is amazing!

[–]13channelsofshit 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah for me they have totally earned an honest attempt from me to watch and like wherever they go next with the show. I will at least watch 3 or 4 episodes no matter how bad it is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Half of the fun is knowing that Paul Lieberstein probably wrote most of the Toby insults.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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It's actually quite simple. Toby represents everything that Michael is terrified of becoming (single, alone, and pathetic). Hence the reason why the childish Michael Scott openly despises Toby

[–]donnymarkus 12 points13 points ago

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Michael already is all those things.

[–]agildehaus 5 points6 points ago

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Indeed, but he has an unending belief that he will climb out of it ... one day.

[–]p1n3s0l 2 points3 points ago

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He did this already on the show. That is why he isn't on it anymore.

[–]sje46 1 point2 points ago

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...yes, because his series-long arc is over. But we're talking about before he left the show.

Also, Michael actually said goodbye to Toby on his last episode. Why? Because he matured.

His entire arc is characterized by the need to validate his own self-worth instead of being able to mature enough for others to love him. This is symbolize in his last episode when he throws away the "World's Greatest Boss" mug (which he gave to himself) on his desk and replaced it with his Dundie trophy (which other people gave him). Additionally, when he had that minor freakout after watching Jim, Pam and Kevin talk about boring office stuff in the break room, he breaks down crying, and actually takes the mug out from the trash until he calls Holly for reassurance. He matured, but still has a way to go.

But, errm, yes.

[–]kleiner352 0 points1 point ago

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This is the most analytical I have ever seen anything get in regards to the Office, well done.

[–]logan101 5 points6 points ago

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It's quite simple - kill the HR man.

[–]HarryBlessKnapp 2 points3 points ago

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Woah woah. English fan of the american office here. When does this happen? I don't mind spoilers, I forget that I have been told them, and then I think I'm working out the plot before everyone else and I feel clever, so fire away. I'm gonna stop watching as soon as he leaves.

[–]bfogarty27 2 points3 points ago

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well he never actually has a gun and attempts to shoot anyone so it's hardly a spoiler... not to mention he is mean to toby just about always

[–]DietCherrySoda 0 points1 point ago

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When did Carell leave? last couple episodes of S07.

[–]t6158 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a big fan of the Jim vs. Dwight antics, but the cringe-inducing situations that Michael Scott always caused made the show unbearable for me to watch. Carrell leaving means that I'm willing to give the show another shot.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Huh? I've always preferred the original British Office but it's way way more cringe-inducing than the American version.

Or was this sarcasm? I guess I'm bad at picking that up (it doesn't help that I tell literally everyone I know who likes The Office to watch the British original)

[–]dablya 3 points4 points ago

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but the cringe-inducing situations that Michael Scott always caused made the show unbearable for me to watch

but... those are the good parts...

[–]pawlrus 2 points3 points ago

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I might be part of the minority but the cringe-inducing situations just seemed so incredibly dumb and unbelievable that I could not watch the show.

[–]jockc 2 points3 points ago

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That's why I prefer the bbc version--the cringe worthy parts are perfectly realistic...

[–]aristideau 0 points1 point ago

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Have you seem the UK version?, way more cringeworthy.

[–]padmadfan 0 points1 point ago

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It's really painful at times. I had to look away or put my hand over my eyes for some parts.

[–]cacafogo 64 points65 points ago

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because the other two are already dead

[–]sirbernardbongington 14 points15 points ago

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That's what they want you to think.

[–]QuinnSee 1 point2 points ago

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"That's what the dimmer switch companies want you to think." - Homer Simpson

[–]Diablo_En_Musica 5 points6 points ago

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Technically not a line, but it kills me none-the-less:

Dwights 'decorating' of the conference room for Kelly's birthday -

IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

[–]omaca 24 points25 points ago

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And still one of the oldest jokes going around.

[–]diggstown 11 points12 points ago

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Yes. And by old, it goes back at least as far back as the time of the Brooklyn Dodgers move to L.A. (1957): Walter O'Malley

[–]irishsandman 2 points3 points ago

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yeah it was old when I heard a Jack Bauer joke years ago using the same formula.

[–]artenego 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry. In a few days I'll repost it myself to remember what's the best line from the office.

[–]FckJuliaRoberts 10 points11 points ago

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"Word of warning then, out there, they call them 'Fanny Packs', coz fanny means your arse over there, not, your minge..."

[–]MC83 1 point2 points ago

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Haha I loved Keith in the uk version

[–]NoSalt 5 points6 points ago

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I'm interested in seeing how James Spader handles Toby. It should be interesting.

[–]egillm 1 point2 points ago

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From Wikipedia: "James Spader will reprise his role as Robert California, the new CEO of Sabre-Dunder Mifflin". So I guess he won't be the new manager?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Over the summer he gets hired as the manager, but very quickly gets himself promoted to the top

[–]duckedtapedemon 1 point2 points ago

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Cathy Bates becomes lead in a David E. Kelly legal drama. She is replaced by James Spader, former lead in a David E. Kelly legal drama. I figure its more appropriate this way.

[–]NoSalt 0 points1 point ago

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I really hope that is incorrect. I think James Spader will make great replacement for Steve Carell.

[–]roguewave 0 points1 point ago

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Nice spoiler :(

[–]atom00 4 points5 points ago

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[–]b9918 5 points6 points ago

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I will truly miss the animosity Michael has towards Toby now with Michael gone. I loved this running joke.

[–]AhhPewPewLasers 16 points17 points ago

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My personal favorite part of that is when Dwight says he would curve the bullet to kill everyone

[–]austinhannah 10 points11 points ago

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Creed wants to curve the bullet, Dwight just lines all three up and shoots them through the throat.

[–]ukickmydog 8 points9 points ago

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Creed actually says that

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 1 point2 points ago

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And then they act it out

[–]kempten 4 points5 points ago

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Which season and episode is this from?

[–]kungpoo 5 points6 points ago

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Season 6 Episode 25 'The Chump'

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 2 points3 points ago

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I know people like to hate on season 6, but there were some seriously great episodes that year, and I think season 7 more than made up for the so-called "slump" that season 6 had.

[–]arsenal09490 0 points1 point ago

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Season 6 was very sitcom-y and very corny. But Season 7 was probably one of my favorites! It definitely made up for the "slump" and some!

[–]drmzbig 2 points3 points ago

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I miss Michael Scott already.

[–]RedHerringxx 5 points6 points ago

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Poor Toby :(

[–]2bullets4Toby 2 points3 points ago

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I approve

[–]timdiggerm 2 points3 points ago

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Now, I've mostly seen season 2, I'll admit, but...

Toby comes across as the only normal person on that show. Maybe Oscar, and maybe Stanley. But pretty much just Toby.

[–]thischarmingwoman 1 point2 points ago

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What about Pam and Jim?

[–]timdiggerm 4 points5 points ago

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They're the kind of people you want to believe are normal/real, but aren't.

[–]NikkoTheGreeko 1 point2 points ago

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He's a creep. He's got some weird crush on Pam and it creeps me the fuck out.

[–]thischarmingwoman 6 points7 points ago

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I don't think he's creepy about it though, he's just sad and maybe a little pathetic.

[–]Subduction 2 points3 points ago

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It's great, but just for the record that joke was around long before The Office.

<old man>

[–]CornFedHonky 2 points3 points ago

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It's still probably the most reposted line, too!

[–]itdeffwasnotme 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Meek 26 points27 points ago

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Hey look, it's this picture again!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SuckItLily 0 points1 point ago

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This novelty account was long overdue, bravo!

[–]piss_n_boots 5 points6 points ago

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It's been reposted umpteen times but still makes me laugh.

[–]Meek -1 points0 points ago

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Then set it as your wallpaper and look at it everytime you want to laugh, or even better go watch that episode but don't let this make the front page again... it's too much.

[–]Knotwood 2 points3 points ago

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NOW who's the wet blanket?

[–]johntea 7 points8 points ago

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It is indeed funny, but can we stop posting it?

[–]yellow_belly 1 point2 points ago

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"Joke's on you, Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist!" -Agent Michael Scarn

[–]jbibby 1 point2 points ago

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"Mmm. This wine has an oakey afterbirth."

[–]kybernetikos 1 point2 points ago

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David: Under "Strengths"... you've just put "accounts."

Keith: Yeah.

David: That's your job though, that's, that's just—

Keith: —Mmm. [nods]

David: No, Keith. What. I was sort of looking for your skills within your job. So is there anything else you could have put there?

Keith: [shrugs]

David: Nope. Okay. Umm... Under "Weaknesses" you've put eczema.

[–]neurotic_robot 1 point2 points ago

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Favourite line: "Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. "

[–]Saiing 1 point2 points ago

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It might be a good line, but the joke predates the office by years. They didn't come up with it.

[–]ayearinaminute 1 point2 points ago

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Ricky Gervais looks odd in that cap...

[–]thenman 1 point2 points ago

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One of my favorite Office quotes was written on the white board in the in the Michael Scott Paper Company office:

""You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take."- Wayne Gretzky" "- Michael Scott.

He quoted himself quoting someone. I love Michael Scott.

[–]TheShitOfABat 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't enjoy the relationship between Toby and Michael. I thought it was the worst part of the series.

[–]paulasaurus 0 points1 point ago

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Toby Flenderson's on drugs

[–]PtrN 0 points1 point ago

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Has this replaced the Sean Hannity reminder as the "I want karma" post?

[–]Sirlovett 0 points1 point ago

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Lucky for him Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead. Or ARE they?? /sarcasm

[–]nkooiker 0 points1 point ago

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you'll probably like r/dundermifflin :)

[–]nasp30 0 points1 point ago

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Michael: "Well i am taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car... Im not supersticious, but but...im a little sticious"

LMAO

[–]Finkarelli 0 points1 point ago

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Still my favorite line.

[–]Konsume 0 points1 point ago

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Which bear is best? False black bear!

[–]darrinsantos6478 0 points1 point ago

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Remember when people used to say "boss" when they were describing something really cool. Like, "those shoulder pads are really boss man." "Look at that perm, that perm is so boss!" It's what made me want to become a boss. And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads. But now, boss is just slang, for jerk in charge.

[–]TellMeYMrBlueSky 0 points1 point ago

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What's the square footage?

[–]assuage 0 points1 point ago

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Dukakis in the late '80s:

“What do you do if you're in a room with Muammar Qaddafi, Saddam Hussein, and John Sununu, and you have a gun with only two bullets? Shoot Sununu twice.”

[–]jzigsjzigs 0 points1 point ago

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I lol'd. Twice.

[–]GiraffeHat 0 points1 point ago

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Yep. Thanks for the update.

[–]PunkRockMakesMeSmile 0 points1 point ago

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Just so everyone knows, this is an old joke. It is not FROM the Office, it is IN the Office.

[–]MonsterAddict 0 points1 point ago

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Well duh, hitler and bin laden are already dead.

[–]jojoko 0 points1 point ago

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"I think there's been a rape up there!" - David Brent

[–]Blink_ 0 points1 point ago

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What is my perfect crime?

[–]pikkupandropov 0 points1 point ago

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i'd just pistol whip them all...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hitler already is dead so you would be there with his dead body, bin laden laden is dead also, so I would say, shoot Toby twice.

[–]AznTiger 0 points1 point ago

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Well yeah, Bin Laden is dead....

Oh wait... I see what you did there.

[–]redditthinks 0 points1 point ago

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Dwight: Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.

Also,

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver? Jim: It's… a crime-fighting beaver.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]EVILFISH 1 point2 points ago

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repost

[–]spongyiq 0 points1 point ago

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If I had a gun with two bullets in it, and I was in a room with three of you, I would shoot myself twice.

[–]SnoobY 0 points1 point ago

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Well since they are both dead. It makes sense? Why shoot dead people...

[–]desquibnt 0 points1 point ago

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And it's still a repost.

fucking stop it

[–]Missriot22 -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah I'm definitely not excited about the fact carrell is being replaced. He was the whole show.

[–]Benocrates 1 point2 points ago

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I agreed with you, but after seeing the last few episodes I have more hope.

[–]Tigeroovy -2 points-1 points ago

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lol fuck.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]griffith12 0 points1 point ago

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thats OK, we had the non-American version of you.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 0 points1 point ago

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[–]alexandrepato 0 points1 point ago

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I somewhat anticipated this. It seems as though criticising the Office (US) is completely taboo even though it apparently is welcomed to express your opinion on this site. And I do hate the American version, I do. That is just my opinion and it won't change, I can't stand Steve Carell and have never found him the least bit believable in that role, I can't grasp a lot of the humour because it's way too cheesy, in-your-face and non-subtle for me and I can't help but thinking every single time I watch it that the (in essence) same television show was produced in what I believe is a better manner in Britain but didn't earn nearly as much praise in international media. Thanks though, Reddit. As usual.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 1 point2 points ago

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Nah, I kind of agree.. I watched the British office first (with subtitles) and thought it was drier and funnier. You're probably biased because you have your own version of Michel that is instilled in you. I like both versions, but the American one is easier to watch if that makes sense.

[–]alexandrepato 0 points1 point ago

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Yes probably, that's most likely why I don't find Steve Carell believable. I understand what you mean, yes, but I don't see the "easier to watch"-attribute as a positive one personally. But all this is, of course, purely my own personal opinion and I thought I would share my viewpoint and hope that someone values it. Apparently not.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 0 points1 point ago

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I meant easier to watch for me because of the thick English accent and different phrases. That's why I always used subtitles.

[–]Xuber -1 points0 points ago

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I up vote this every time I see it.

[–]mozdef8484 -1 points0 points ago

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Still one of the best reposts on Reddit.

[–]asshat13 -1 points0 points ago

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which bear is best?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Of course, the rest is dead anyway.

[–]bigmeech -2 points-1 points ago

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Putting "Still" at the beginning of a post is a technique used by retards to get precious karma from reposting the same old shit everyone's seen before.