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all 184 comments

[–]Madness_As_Muse 89 points90 points ago

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For the record, Helen Keller was actually a talented typist and wrote many books.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 27 points28 points ago

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Readable books?

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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I find your username offensive.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 0 points1 point ago

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You keep beating me to the punch and scoring all the karma. I never see your posts out in the wild.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Haha I know, I lurk, I lurk...

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 0 points1 point ago

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I think you mean "stalk".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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naw man, I added you as one of my friends so I see a big red bar on your name. Can't miss it. And It's always out in the wild. It's a small front page after all.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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We should join forces.

[–]RetardVomitPussyCunt 0 points1 point ago

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What about mine?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Woah, you have i think the greatest username I've ever seen.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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What Hitler do you like? There are many with that last name.

[–]bldkis -1 points0 points ago

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Upvote for your strangly badass name

[–]dontthreadlightly 4 points5 points ago

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does not take away from the hilarity

[–]likwidfuzion 25 points26 points ago

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What?

[–]pantheonwhaley 171 points172 points ago

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FOR THE RECORD, HELEN KELLER WAS ACTUALLY A TALENTED TYPIST AND WROTE MANY BOOKS.

[–]Germanfries 8 points9 points ago

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,GRANDPA.

[–]asoap 1 point2 points ago

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Yup Which kinda made this joke cheap for me. She'd totally be able to use facebook.

[–]WhiskeyIndiaNovember 0 points1 point ago

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Whiskey India November

[–]Madness_As_Muse 1 point2 points ago

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Man, they really are out of clever names for Pokemon.

[–]LyricsReferencer 42 points43 points ago

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That deaf, dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball.

[–]Dalonger 10 points11 points ago

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Talk about going to hell...when I was a lad, I thought the line was "That deaf, dumb, and black kid..."

[–]sicki 2 points3 points ago

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Upvoted for similar experiences.

"Okay, what the fuck does him being black have to do with his pinball skills?! Is there a stereotype out there I'm unaware of? Along the lines of 'oh yeah, those black guys really love a good game of pinball after chicken and watermelon'"

[–]Marcob10 0 points1 point ago

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I was sure it was deaf, numb and blind kid

[–]x755x 0 points1 point ago

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That actually makes sense.

[–]Borkz -1 points0 points ago

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Why would you go to hell for that?

[–]RandomFlirting 2 points3 points ago

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I love that song too! You have such a great username, so clever! Are you a Pisces?

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer 5 points6 points ago

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Actually I'm a minotaur.

[–]DaRam4U 0 points1 point ago

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And half a Chemical Engineer, then?

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer 1 point2 points ago

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My legs are distillation columns.

[–]RandomFlirting 0 points1 point ago

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That's hot....Can I buy you a drink?

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer 3 points4 points ago

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Chocolate Milk would be agreeable.

[–]RandomFlirting -2 points-1 points ago

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Mmmmm chocolate! have you ever tried chocolate body paint? You sound so smart, and confident!

[–]blueasclepius 117 points118 points ago

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I can't see the humor in this.

[–]klimpys 61 points62 points ago

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Really? I was blindsided by it.

[–]azntonyboi11111 4 points5 points ago

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What do u call a movie starring a psychic helen Keller? "the fourth sense"

[–]sscrofulous 0 points1 point ago

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Nice one, centurion- like it, like it.

[–]DZ302 25 points26 points ago

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[–]CraigFL 6 points7 points ago

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Neither can I. I was born deaf and Helen Keller has always been my idol. She overcame obstacles much larger than I've ever had to deal with. She was actually quite articulate and well-written.

I had the pleasure of meeting her niece when I was in middle school. :)

[–]Whoa_Bundy -1 points0 points ago

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I hate to break it to you but its been documented that Hellen Keller resented her deafness. She stated several times that she didn't mind being blind but wished she wasn't deaf.

[–]CraigFL 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah, I know that, but that's not the point I was trying to convey. It was the fact that she had so many obstacles at the time she needed to overcome, and she did.

[–]TsunamiMommy 4 points5 points ago

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What?

[–]Knorkator -2 points-1 points ago

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How can someone who has never experienced one of those senses, can give a preference to one over another?

[–]clarient 0 points1 point ago

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You should probably go read up on Helen Keller. She was born with normal sight and hearing.

[–]clarient 0 points1 point ago

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You should probably go read up on Helen Keller. She was born with normal sight and hearing.

[–]Whoa_Bundy -1 points0 points ago

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Someone who is blind or deaf usually isn't 100% blind of deaf. They can see or hear a little.

[–]Knorkator 0 points1 point ago

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Of course, this question was purely hypothetical and in no reference to Helen Kellers fate.

[–]Whoa_Bundy -2 points-1 points ago

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The context of the OP's post, my response and your question was obviously about Hellen Keller.

I don't know why you got downvoted. It is a common misconception that those who are deaf or blind are completely without the use of their eyes and ears when in fact that is not true.

In Hellen Kellers case, she had residual hearing and sight and with that little amount she had, she decided that she would rather hear more than see more.

[–]Knorkator 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for the clarification. I just read that she was able to hear and see until she was 2 and lost the senses due to an illness.

[–]sscrofulous -1 points0 points ago

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non-sequitur much?

[–]sscrofulous -1 points0 points ago

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non-sequitur much?

[–]Whoa_Bundy 1 point2 points ago

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It's directly related. Many deaf individuals regard Helen Keller as an idol because she too was deaf, overcame obstacles and succeeded.

However, she did not like her deafness. So I just like to clarify to fellow deaf individuals, that they person they are idolizing, may not be the best choice.

So no...it's not a non-sequitur.

[–]brbrbrad -1 points0 points ago

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I have a bad feeling about this pun thread

[–]TeddyJackEddy 7 points8 points ago

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It sounds okay so far.

[–]azntonyboi11111 15 points16 points ago

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It opened my eyes

[–]CaptainTako 7 points8 points ago

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Guys this is going too far, if I ever find you, I am gonna beat you senseless.

[–]Tyleroo8 0 points1 point ago

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Bet you will forget by tomorrow

[–]TheStreisandEffect -2 points-1 points ago

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Spoons.

[–]nicklebackfan1999 -5 points-4 points ago

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i looked up its becuase shes blind and deaf and cant type

[–]darkraichu55 1 point2 points ago

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nnnnnnnnnnnNRYAM!

[–]davie18 17 points18 points ago

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How very original...

twitter.com/#!/WONDERSTVIE

[–]DrRad 3 points4 points ago

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People are seriously that bored?

[–]GaryOak37 8 points9 points ago

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Isn't this ripping off the Stevie Wonder Twitter page?

[–]majinjohnny 3 points4 points ago

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[–]jrpack 0 points1 point ago

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[–]random314 5 points6 points ago

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"Marco"..

"Marco"..

"Marco"...

[–]wlozier02 5 points6 points ago

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This past year, my English teacher had a Hellen Keller quote taped to her desk. The day I noticed it, the only part I saw was the name. I decided at that moment that I would never allow myself to see the quote, just so I could go on believing it was gibberish. To this day, the quote remains in my mind.

WHARGARBLBARLARWAR

-Hellen Keller

[–]BritainRitten 2 points3 points ago

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Now to make you all feel bad for laughing.

Here is a video of Helen Keller showing how she learned to speak.

"I Am Not DUMB now!"

[–]Janky_Pants 2 points3 points ago

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I love the "Photos (24)" and they are all black.

[–]Angolite 3 points4 points ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]SeriouslyLaughing 1 point2 points ago

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They would get a kick out of this over at r/facebookquotes.

[–]Toasty_Ohs 1 point2 points ago

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Did you hear about the swing set in Helen Keller's back yard?

[–]snapperh3ad 4 points5 points ago

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She didn't.

[–]desquibnt 1 point2 points ago

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Only about the fifth time this has been submitted

[–]NotWorkingAtWork2011 1 point2 points ago

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Going to hell for this?

This is the Internet, buddy.

You've got a lot to learn.

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 1 point2 points ago

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Just in case someone has a wtf, she was a deafblind political activist. Deafblind, with a bachelor of arts degree.

[–]RedsforMeds 2 points3 points ago

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Shows you how easy it is to get a Bachelor of Arts in America.

[–]SethSmith -1 points0 points ago

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Actually she was british

[–]RedsforMeds 0 points1 point ago

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https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Helen_Keller

Born Helen Adams Keller

June 27, 1880

Tuscumbia, Alabama, USA

Huh?

[–]darkon 0 points1 point ago

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It's a troll; disregard.

[–]SethSmith -1 points0 points ago

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Pretty sure that page was vandalized or something, she's british.

[–]MJZMan 1 point2 points ago

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Then I guess I'll be right there next to you.

[–]StaxTheTrain 1 point2 points ago

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Have a look at this awesome Helen Keller simulator. http://helenkellersim.com/

(Why, yes I am going to hell)

[–]adarvan 0 points1 point ago

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The page source to that website is wonderful! So are the meta tags (keep scrolling). :)

[–]StaxTheTrain 0 points1 point ago

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I hadn't even checked its source ! Hahaha, thanks for the great laugh !

[–]ButtsMcKracken 1 point2 points ago

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Anne Frank?

[–]Atreides_Zero 1 point2 points ago

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I don't get it. Why does everyone assume that because a person is blind they can't use a keyboard? Sore they probably can't use a touch screen keyboard but the home row bumps are a reference point and could easily be used by blind people to navigate the keyboard.

Spelling mistakes might still have a higher count though.

[–]somewhereinbetween 1 point2 points ago

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I almost did a spit take.

Shame on me. The joke is based off of nothing (she was well educated and is well known for being an author), but it still got me.

[–]holycraprhinos 1 point2 points ago

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Dude I can't even imagine how tough it would have been for her. Everything must have been so fucking hard. I could only get through about a minute of the Hellen Keller Simulator.

so many errors edit

[–]asphyxiate 1 point2 points ago

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Why are people confusing Helen Keller with Anne Frank? Am I missing something here?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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i didnt laugh at this. i respect that facebook page a lot more than many other face book pages

[–]gadafgadaf 1 point2 points ago

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kinda looks like paris hilton

[–]jtx3 1 point2 points ago

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looks like ill be seeing you there! lol

[–]reddit-mandingo 0 points1 point ago

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I'll be going, too. And it will be in color!

[–]Omega_red 0 points1 point ago

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I was dumbfounded by this....

[–]Windstonam 0 points1 point ago

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At least she didn't have a duck face.

[–]d3v0 0 points1 point ago

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I'm probably in the exact same boat...

[–]mswilso 0 points1 point ago

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My son: Hey, so that's what Hellen Keller looks like! Me: What, you've never seen a picture of Hellen Keller? <pause> WELL NEITHER HAS SHE! (RIM SHOT)

[–]boisson 0 points1 point ago

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Her Twitter is even better. Eptch. Septh. Nuh nuh.

[–]mccusm8 0 points1 point ago

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I'm just impressed she managed to upload her picture...

[–]evolx10 0 points1 point ago

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Lolaimtplc.

[–]GARlactic 0 points1 point ago

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Wtf why would someone trying to hide from the Nazis make a facebook page?

[–]rcksheaven 0 points1 point ago

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She does know how to upload photos though.

[–]Meinacanoo 0 points1 point ago

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Geez, use the space bar.

[–]hexabyte 0 points1 point ago

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If there was a hell.

[–]I_RAPE_THERAPISTS 0 points1 point ago

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The saddest thing about Hellen Keller is that she never got to enjoy the alliteration of her name.

[–]gemidjy 0 points1 point ago

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Ah jeez. This reminds me of Steve's fake Twitter account

[–]Turin_The_Mormegil 0 points1 point ago

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"Cuz Helen Keller was the perfect woman, and no one understands/ just how talented she was with her hands!"

-Bo Burnham

[–]trahh 0 points1 point ago

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http://twitter.com/#!/raycharl

ಠ_ಠ

whoops, meant to find stevie wonder, guess any blind celebrity has one of these mockups

[–]megamuncher 0 points1 point ago

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She worships Cthulhu?

[–]jahutch2 0 points1 point ago

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Helen Keller - #1 reason people go to hell.

[–]onephatkatt 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry. If you're laughing at that, you'd probably already be going to hell for something else earlier in life. No worries.

[–]Brendan27 0 points1 point ago

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The Stevie Wonder twitter was way better.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I am fine with offensive jokes, but this is just dumb.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]CaptainSnail 0 points1 point ago

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Ice tea just flew out my nose.... Guilt-ridden ice tea.

[–]BamBam-BamBam 0 points1 point ago

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Don't sell yourself short. I'm sure it's not just for laughing at this.

[–]IntentToContribute 0 points1 point ago

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Shes more famous, inspirational, and older than we'll ever be, laugh away!

[–]skunkchiefr 0 points1 point ago

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Hahaha

[–]swblackwood 0 points1 point ago

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We BOTH are!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i didnt laugh at this. i respect that facebook page a lot more than many other face book pages

[–]red-moon 0 points1 point ago

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Or Arizona.

[–]empiresfalling 0 points1 point ago

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mysteriously, the image was taken only 2 minutes after her last post...

[–]Wazowski 0 points1 point ago

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It took me awhile to get it. The photos didn't come out because it was very dark where she was hiding from the Nazis.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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There has been a Hellen Keller twitter account for a long time. The posts are spaced far enough apart I forget about the account and then boom I'm laughing hysterically.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]CraigFL 0 points1 point ago

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Hehe. As a deaf person, I didn't really find it all that funny (or original), and this is coming from someone who makes fun of himself all the time.

[–]sicki 0 points1 point ago

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My laugh adventure for this went something like this:

click lips purse, trying to avoid the socially intolerable hilarity; tsunami of air explodes through lips, making fart noise and fracturing jaw; 3-4 minutes of air-gasping laughter.

[–]MpVpRb 0 points1 point ago

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There is no hell

But, there are helicopters.

I like helicopters.

[–]PullOutBoy 0 points1 point ago

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Hellen Keller jokes are so old they can vote

[–]asshopo 0 points1 point ago

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I posted the image on my Facebook. People actually got angry with me because I was making fun of someone who can't defend themselves.

People really don't get humor, do they?

[–]Bluedemonfox 0 points1 point ago

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haha I laughed a little too when I searched who she is and learned she was deafblind, does that make me a bad person? D:

[–]tasuret 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, because without context it is humorless.

[–]illiterateninja 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, I can't believe how bad of a photographer she is, didn't even know to take off the lens cap!

[–]A_User 0 points1 point ago

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The black banner was funny, the random letters were not.

[–]yokiedinosaur 0 points1 point ago

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The inconsistency kills any potential humor.

I don't understand... why would her profile photo be normal, but all the others just black squares? She's blind, not her camera...

Also why are her details just blank, but her wall posts are long strings of nonsense? So which way does she type, by just hitting the space bar continuously, or pressing random keys?

[–]bvanman 0 points1 point ago

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You're going to comedy hell for laughing at this.... because it's such an over-used joke and barely funny

[–]bolderdash 0 points1 point ago

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If you're going to hell, you got a lot more redditors coming with you...

[–]apeacock 0 points1 point ago

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dfijsadfkladmnt;sdljk;bv;dlfg s;dfgkds;l fg

[–]Oujou13 0 points1 point ago

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I'm going to Hell anyway so fuck it

[–]zatoichi68 0 points1 point ago

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I don't see what you mean?

[–]zatoichi68 0 points1 point ago

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Helen Keller had also horrible parents. To punish her, they move the furniture.

[–]the_lost_soul 0 points1 point ago

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sadlkfjsoerfdgregreger hikulk adf?

[–]isthatanearthquake 0 points1 point ago

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Even Anne fucking Frank can see thanks funny.

[–]moorechez67 0 points1 point ago

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This is a trainwreck

[–]princess_shami 0 points1 point ago

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HAHAHAAHAHAA ahem that's terrible!

[–]HouseOfKrazees 0 points1 point ago

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This had me laughing so hard at work, people asked me what was wrong.

[–]zilee 0 points1 point ago

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ignorance, pure ignorance

[–]MusicMagi 0 points1 point ago

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No, you'll go to hell for being dumb and ignorant.

[–]anythncldhppn 0 points1 point ago

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It's very rare that I actually LOL from a comment or submission. This had me audibly laughing for a solid 20 seconds. Thank you. Here, take an upvote.

[–]hilh 0 points1 point ago

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do you not believe in touch typing? :(

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck off.

[–]youresoclever -2 points-1 points ago

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You motherfucker.

Did you know that Woodrow Wilson wanted to expatriate Hellen Keller for being too outspoken? She was dropping bombs on Woody. Yeah it’s ironic, but you didn’t know that did you?

She was laying amazing groundwork for the rights & services we take for granted today: she helped found the ACLU, was a strict pacifist, and she was most definitely banging Mark Twain on the side. Shit, and she even brought the Akita over to the states. She's an international badass mother, for real. And all of you thought her biggest accomplishment was learning to spell “water” with her hands. Do you even know how hard it is to even sign language? All you so ignorant, goddamn!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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u mad bro?

[–]chimpychimp -1 points0 points ago

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she was a strict pacifist

Not by choice.

[–]armedleftist 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, so not exactly the tact I would have taken but I want to tell you that I share your sentiment.

Many years ago now I heard a Helen Keller joke as an adult and it got me to thinking about all of the Helen Keller jokes I had heard and told and laughed about as a child. A small child really, grade one or two; so seven or eight years old. I got to thinking why would little kids tell these jokes? Why would a disabled person be faced with such ridicule well after her death? So I started doing some research on her life. I'll state at this point that I am old and it involved going to a physical library and digging through the stacks.

She was a Revolutionary Socialist (member of the Socialist party in America), a true supporter of the working class (worked closely with the IWW), and a constant published critic of a war mongering president during WWI. Along with this she was a total smart ass on par with Dorthy Parker. I pretty sure Reddit today would have loved her and treated her like some mix between Neil deGrasse Tyson and Rachel Maddow.

If you're interested shift your time wasting away from Reddit for a few minutes and read this. If you need a tldr head for the last paragraph and enjoy the burn.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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A facebook screen shot? Yeah, that is pretty bad.

[–]DownTheReddittHole -1 points0 points ago

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As a fellow deaf, blind, mute I'm deeply offended by this. Joshing, it's hilarious, i'll see you in hell. You know what "they" say, "go to heaven for the climate, and hell for the company".

[–]BlackAcidDevil -1 points0 points ago

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when she talks, its like she can't hear her own voice. she was deaf, right?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]CaptainTako -1 points0 points ago

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Shamelessly reap the karma

FTFY

[–]CaptainTako -1 points0 points ago

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Shamelessly reap the karma

FTFY

[–]onephatkatt -1 points0 points ago

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Don't worry. If you're laughing at that, you'd probably already be going to hell for something else earlier in life. No worries.

[–]originalcuntscabs -1 points0 points ago

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oh look, another Helen Keller joke. So overused and you know, the main reason why punkass bitches know her name today is because of 3oh3. Pathetic.

[–]roadsiderick -2 points-1 points ago

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No...but for posting this, and expecting others to laugh with you:

yes, yes you are.

[–]TsunamiMommy 1 point2 points ago

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I see you are on the high road, Rick.

[–]roadsiderick 0 points1 point ago

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What, you're accusing me of being high? That's low, brother.