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top 200 commentsshow all 290

[–]loopyjolaura 339 points340 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

upvotes or?

[–]ridiculouscage 92 points93 points ago

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BEADS?!

[–]onowahoo 53 points54 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]endingthread 39 points40 points ago

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What. The. Fuck.

[–]Mach-25 3 points4 points ago

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ummmmm errrrrrr ok?

da fuck...

[–]Arcon1337 10 points11 points ago

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Bitches be crazy!

[–]seleniumsoda 3 points4 points ago

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Truth is stranger than fiction...

[–]actipt17 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed mate.

[–]rscozzens 2 points3 points ago

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I hope that's just a parody of Oprah.. if not...

[–]OM4E098 1 point2 points ago

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I knew what to expect, but somehow I was still disappointed.

[–]MrWynp 0 points1 point ago

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Someone better be auto-tuning that. Right now.

[–]glassy125 0 points1 point ago

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psh... and opera only gives away cars.

[–]kungpoo 25 points26 points ago

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[–]welmoe 14 points15 points ago

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An Arrested Development reference can be found anywhere on Reddit. Love it.

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 14 points15 points ago

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NO TOUCHING!

[–]brokennails 10 points11 points ago

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We'll see who makes the most honey around here!

[–]Rad2 32 points33 points ago

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i love this GIF so much

[–]the2belo 25 points26 points ago

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[–]ooONasKOoo 2 points3 points ago

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GIF with sound ?

[–]bluefinity 7 points8 points ago

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[–]Triassic 15 points16 points ago

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This is the gif I immediately thought of when I saw Oprah. I love that gif. Has anyone ever tried to change it so instead of bees it says upvotes?

[–]abbott_costello 4 points5 points ago

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You my friend, are a genius.

[–]TheLoneWander101 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]librarymouse 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Mastadave2999 3 points4 points ago

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What's all the buzz about?

[–]endingthread 1 point2 points ago

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HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!

[–]forwardpsychology 1 point2 points ago

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I really like that gif.

[–]coe4514 1 point2 points ago

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That was too funny! I usually hate .gifs but that was so out of nowhere compared to the stupid original post, that I laughed out loud at work!

[–]TheLoneWander101 1 point2 points ago

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[–]kodutta7 1 point2 points ago

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HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?!?!?!

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

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I DONT KNOW! (gets punched in the face)

[–]Scaryclouds 1 point2 points ago

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That gif will never get old.

[–]dvdlesher 1 point2 points ago

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Oh beehave....

[–]RumpleForeSkin72[!] 0 points1 point ago

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this makes me laugh EVERY time

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

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[–]merkushio 86 points87 points ago

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This is how everyone in r/Trees browses reddit all the time.

[–]dailyduds 14 points15 points ago

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At first when I saw r/Trees, I was like "Who the fuck would want to browse a Reddit about trees?" but then I was like"ohhhhhhhhhhh..."

[–]LookMomNoHands 18 points19 points ago

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And thats why i love it so much!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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And /r/mylittlepony. Love and tolerance baby.

[–]xyerohour 2 points3 points ago

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I still believe you are a furry. RES never lies.

[–]Xihe 100 points101 points ago

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If you upvote everyone, you basically did nothing.

[–]SirB 94 points95 points ago

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It's all about sharing little arrows of happiness.

[–]RandomFlirting 26 points27 points ago

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You sound really sweet... and kinda sexy, too. So do you have a girlfriend?

[–]Mattyi 14 points15 points ago

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Why are you randomly flir....

Oh, I see.

[–]Zeroe 2 points3 points ago

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You see, Fez. Sometimes girls pretend to like you just to get you to do things for them.

[–]RandomFlirting 3 points4 points ago

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Hey I like your username! Can I buy you a drink?

[–]Troo 11 points12 points ago

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That's not random, that's systematic.

[–]RandomFlirting 13 points14 points ago

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You're so right! Hey, thanks! So do you like redheads?

[–]jakebluu 6 points7 points ago

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Best novelty evar

[–]mainsworth 15 points16 points ago

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In jakebluu's head:

"Please flirt with me, please flirt with me"

[–]RandomFlirting 7 points8 points ago

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Thanks, Jake! Can I buy you a drink? Love your shirt...

[–]MananWho 5 points6 points ago

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How many drinks are you going to buy people?

At the very least, I wouldn't suggest repeating a pickup line twice in the same thread.

[–]RandomFlirting 4 points5 points ago

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Welll this post about being in a good mood on Reddit put me in a good mood ... so I'm being very generous today! Plus, everyone is so nice on here! Do you come here often? You have beautiful eyes....

[–]amibeingatool 6 points7 points ago

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Since all of these are nice comments...EVERYBODY GETS AN UPVOTE!

[–]RandomFlirting 3 points4 points ago

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You are just soooooo nice! I like your username, too - but you are not a tool! you sound really sexy...

[–]GottaLottaOttas 2 points3 points ago

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Ok now it's not so random, you're just being a little whore

[–]SirB 1 point2 points ago

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Almost

[–]SomeCleverUserName 1 point2 points ago

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i gotta say this is one of the better novelties i've seen in a while... do you do anal?

[–]SirVic 0 points1 point ago

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Please sir, may I have some more?

[–]bloodsplatter 0 points1 point ago

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Sir Bob Ross is right.

[–]SergeiKirov 23 points24 points ago

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Because, really, what matters is how much more karma I have than everyone else. That's why I'm here after all - to win.

[–]SeriouslyLaughing 7 points8 points ago

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If there is no carrot, the mule has no incentive to move forward.

[–]endingthread 4 points5 points ago

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Carrots?!

[–]Wingchunbum 3 points4 points ago

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Don't you mean.....

[–]McPoulet 2 points3 points ago

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Ah ah ah !

[–]CantHearYou 1 point2 points ago

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Could you please speak up a little bit?

[–]anstewpidmoran 2 points3 points ago

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Ah ah ah!

[–]johansolo 8 points9 points ago

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You didn't say the magic word!

[–]eberkut 1 point2 points ago

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That's also the only way to promote or demote content...

[–]ih8karma 0 points1 point ago

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Wait...you can win Reddit!?

[–]zephyr952 2 points3 points ago

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You win by not playing, it's like an MMO

[–]gillisthom 3 points4 points ago

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Indeed, upvotes need to go back to the gold standard.

[–]ih8karma 1 point2 points ago

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I make multiple accounts, its like printing my own money! Muah hah hah.

[–]uptwolait 6 points7 points ago

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"When everyone's super, no one will be."

  • Syndrome, in The Incredibles

[–]ChicagoBurdman 1 point2 points ago

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When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

[–]FillInTheBlank 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mass voting can trigger the spam filter to take away your voting privileges.

[–]janssolo 0 points1 point ago

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Sharing is Caring

[–]McGravin 9 points10 points ago

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You get a repost! You get a repost! Everybody gets a repost!!

[–]alwaysnude 15 points16 points ago

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Are upvotes taxed? If so, I don't have the money to pay the tax and cannot receive said upvote.

[–]Mastadave2999 1 point2 points ago

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HA! I'll show you and upvote you anyway!

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]down_vote_magnet 45 points46 points ago

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OK, so that kind of sucks, but what's the problem really? You sell the car, pay the tax and keep $20,000.

[–]flea_17 58 points59 points ago

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Conversely, if they should decide to keep it, they just got a brand new car for $7000.

[–]ih8karma 11 points12 points ago

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Who the hell would keep a Pontiac?

[–]StretchinAZ 6 points7 points ago

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Someone who thinks it's a Cadillac?

[–]MrDrummond 3 points4 points ago

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Poor old nellie thinks its a caddy

[–]youshallhaveeverbeen 5 points6 points ago

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That's not how I remembered hearing it on the playground.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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yeah, nellie

[–]down_vote_magnet 8 points9 points ago

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Personally, I would sell it, get the $20k, buy a new car for like $10k and keep the rest of the money.

[–]Yoy0YO 5 points6 points ago

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7K for a new car? Pffft, easy decision.

[–]ocpmbrat 3 points4 points ago

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I upvote everything when I'm in a good mood, too. I call it drinking.

[–]kleiner352 12 points13 points ago

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I'm persistently worried that I upvote people too much and am causing the market value of upvotes to plummet.

[–]truth-informant 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't this a blatant disregard for Reddiquet?

[–]Glorgashack 2 points3 points ago

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so your a rich crazy black lady when your in a good mood

[–]Jameshi 2 points3 points ago

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YES, can I get an upvote?

[–]DeepRoot 2 points3 points ago

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Done.

[–]Matty_Magouche 2 points3 points ago

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I'm actually doing the same thing today.

[–]famewithmedals 2 points3 points ago

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just changed it from 999 upvotes to 1000. damn that felt good.

[–]ladybits 6 points7 points ago

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This is how I browse reddit when I'm drunk.

[–]Fightzilla 34 points35 points ago

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I feel that somehow, we are all a little like Oprah

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Fightzilla 58 points59 points ago

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YOU DO!

[–]Thomas1122 -1 points0 points ago

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oprah impression

Please welcome to the show, Fightzillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[–]SeriouslyLaughing 6 points7 points ago

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I do the exact opposite when browsing r/all/new.

[–]spewak 1 point2 points ago

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If Oprah commands it, then I must obey! YOU GET AN UPVOTE!!!

[–]ZenButcher 1 point2 points ago

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lol

[–]Tokiehardo 1 point2 points ago

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That's why r/Trees is an upvote factory. We tend to be in good moods more often.

[–]mrzack 1 point2 points ago

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9/11 inside job. upvote me bitches.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Aaaaaand this got me into a good mood! UPVOTE!

[–]wellmaybe 1 point2 points ago

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You get an upvote!

[–]horsekillsboy 1 point2 points ago

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exactly this.

[–]codywarmbo 1 point2 points ago

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This made me snort my morning boogers down.

[–]ToRedditWithLove 1 point2 points ago

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I rarely ever downvote anybody. If I don't like it I usually just click the next reddit.

[–]thorgwanteat 1 point2 points ago

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EVERYBODY HERE GETS A SCHOOOOOOL. YOU GET A SCHOOL. YOU GET A SCHOOL. YOU GET A SCHOOL.

[–]highwindscloud 1 point2 points ago

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Lol this is always how I approach reddit because no matter what mood I started in, I'll leave with a smile on my face and useless information in my heart.

[–]HustlerThug 1 point2 points ago

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I like your style.

[–]ROLL_A_D20_ 1 point2 points ago

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I'm one of those people going yaay!

[–]__bob__ 1 point2 points ago

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fantastic!! that's so graphic, i love it. upboats for you sir!

[–]Trollstank 1 point2 points ago

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I read this in Harpo's voice.

[–]Trollstank 1 point2 points ago

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I read this in Harpo's voice.

[–]tzer007 1 point2 points ago

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you sir/mam.... GET AN UPVOTE!!

[–]daneshmend 1 point2 points ago

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Now I have to be honest here, I know she's a big deal in the states, but I have never heard Oprah's voice, or seen her on TV. Everything i know about her is from reddit. Is she really that great?

[–]brotasmo 1 point2 points ago

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[–]daneshmend 2 points3 points ago

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genius. Never heard of a Pontiac G6, but I wouldn't mind a free one! That shows budget must be insane.

[–]toastybreaddit 1 point2 points ago

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You get an upvote.

[–]MetacomCreative 1 point2 points ago

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Hi, I'm here for the upvotes.

[–]Heelincal 7 points8 points ago

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This entire thread will be comments like "YOU GET AN UPVOTE" and "You don't get an upvote" combined with some comment on the posters mood at that point in time.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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NO VOTE FOR YOU!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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No vote b/c you forgot mood

Touch me once, touche me twice, won't upvote at any price

[–]RefletScruteur 4 points5 points ago

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YOU GET AN UPVOTE ! (because I'm happy you said that)

[–]pi_over_3 0 points1 point ago

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Where is Downvoting Roman?

[–]TheFizzleFry 3 points4 points ago

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this proves that all the upvotes people give without giving a shit really do bring garbage to the front page.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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1) Browse r/aww 2) Upvote everything

Every. Day.

Because that subreddit just makes me happy.

[–]mcpower_ 4 points5 points ago

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YOU GET AN UPVOTE!

[–]drbeaver 2 points3 points ago

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its human behaviour like that that reminds us that we are still a lot closer to apes that we think.

And I'm talking about the Oprah audience, not the upvoting.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]veilyn 3 points4 points ago

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Have an upvote! I am apparently in a good mood!

[–]slapded 2 points3 points ago

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reposts get me in a bad mood

[–]etaesu 4 points5 points ago

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i think if you give everyone an upvote, its the same as giving no votes.

[–]lemonbug13 0 points1 point ago

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you think, therefore you get an upvote

[–]deconix 1 point2 points ago

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Did you know those upvotes weren't really free? They had to pay the taxes on all those upvotes. Richest person on the air and she can't even pay those peoples' upvote taxes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for my first Reddit laugh of the day.

[–]WinterInJapan 1 point2 points ago

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You must be from r/trees, or perhaps r/mylittlepony.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I want an upvote.. :-D

[–]dianthe -1 points0 points ago

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I do that as well sometimes, then I'm like "Wait, this comment is actually pretty rubbish, I should take the upvote away... man now I've downvoted it! Ok I don't want to do that, keep the upvote." xD

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Just click the upvote again to take it away and therefore remain neutral and tell my wife hello

[–]dianthe 0 points1 point ago

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Haha so that's how it works... only been on reddit for a few days, haven't figured it out yet.

[–]chili_cheese_dog 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this only happened in r/trees.

[–]DundahMifflin 0 points1 point ago

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Aw man, where's my upvote?

[–]BubbaBassist 1 point2 points ago

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I just woke up, am alone drinking my coffee, and this made me laugh my ass off...out loud.

[–]Provenzer0 2 points3 points ago

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And you, my friend, get an upvote too.

[–]joshkerr 1 point2 points ago

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I get in trouble by my girlfriend when I start laughing out loud at Reddit. Dude, why you cracking me up?

[–]erick103 1 point2 points ago

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OP, you're what's wrong with Reddit!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Some people have called this a "repost", but it's most certainly not! I created this on my own last night using screencaps that I gathered from the Oprah video on her site and I assembled it all in Photoshop:

Proof!

In the past few weeks, when I've upvoted a bunch of people in a row, I've been saying the Oprah line in my head, and the mental image made me laugh. So I wanted to make a comic about it to share it with you guys! I thought it was original! Anyways, I just wanted to come out to say that I actually put some effort into this, and I'm sorry if you think it's a repost -- it's not!

[–]Tingting97 0 points1 point ago

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That is totally me right now lol.

[–]kyeric 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Guardian1030 0 points1 point ago

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where did you get the source photos?

[–]kyeric 0 points1 point ago

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From the OP. I just massaged the new stuff with Xara!

[–]kyeric 0 points1 point ago

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[–]ruairi98 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Eldorian 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else see the thumbnail and think this was going to be an image related to Spider-man? Top looked like spider-man costume... bottom looked like MJ hugging someone.

[–]Nicknam4 0 points1 point ago

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This hasn't been done before.

[–]therewontberiots 0 points1 point ago

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/r/circlejerk needs you...

[–]sodhi[!] 0 points1 point ago

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I thought reddit hated Dane Cook... this sketch was originally (I think?) performed by DC, was it not?

[–]poodoofodder 0 points1 point ago

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You get an upvote, for upvoting

[–]DC-Jaxx 0 points1 point ago

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UPVOTE!

[–]OnlySmiles 0 points1 point ago

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:)

[–]axisofelvis 0 points1 point ago

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Downvote for Oprah.

[–]thekindred 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously...Oprah... automatic downvote!

[–]Guardian1030 0 points1 point ago

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Source photos please?

[–]threwaweyaccewnt 0 points1 point ago

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Hey, that's like that other time that other guy upvoted things when he felt good!

[–]leadera 0 points1 point ago

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UUUUUUUPPPP VOOOOOOOTTTES

[–]bad_username 0 points1 point ago

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I quite clearly heard the soundtrack in my head: Oprah's voice and the screams of the audience. And I didn't actually try to. Brain, you scary.

[–]muffypoo 2 points3 points ago

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YOU get an upvote!

[–]Oprah_ -1 points0 points ago

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YOU GET AN UPVOTE! YOU GET AN UPVOTE! AND YOU GET AN UPVOTE. Upvotes for everybody!

[–]beregon 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted :)

[–]Freelancer47 0 points1 point ago

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AAAaaannnnndddd...

UpVote.

[–]xyroclast 0 points1 point ago

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BEES! BEES! BEES!

[–]Neafie2 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in her voice.

[–]threat42 0 points1 point ago

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Extra points for having Oprah in an ORANGE UPVOTE DRESS!

[–]sreddit 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted

[–]marvaden 0 points1 point ago

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Is the bad mood more like Springer?

[–]mercerist 0 points1 point ago

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Well, that was a pleasant surprise. I expected an 'Upvote ALL the things' image and was all smug about it. I am humbled.

[–]rgrwlco 0 points1 point ago

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everybody has won and all must have prizes

[–]klarc 0 points1 point ago

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old joke is old

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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An upvote?

Oh my, I just want a nice Pastrami Sandwich.

[–]deathdealer2001 0 points1 point ago

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i say that everytime i browse

[–]Eurynom0s 0 points1 point ago

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Will I have to pay taxes on my upvote?

[–]ImoImomw 0 points1 point ago

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Best upvote pic I have seen on here. Well done sir!

[–]autotom 0 points1 point ago

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Cant think of a better place to (re)post this

UPVOTE ALL JAVASCRIPT!! - Type it in your URL bar and then [ENTER]

javascript:$(".up").click()()

[–]BlankJebus 1 point2 points ago

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i've had this saved to my bookmark bar labeled as "upvote all things!"

[–]ZeusJuice 0 points1 point ago

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How can you not be in a good mood when you're on Reddit?

[–]stufff 0 points1 point ago

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People like you are the reason rage comics get upvoted aren't you?

Downvotes are the only weapons we have to defend ourselves against the savage hordes at our shores, and traitors like you are arming them with upvotes.

[–]XakMan 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking up voting just because your happy is insanely stupid.

[–]shaymoss 0 points1 point ago

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Just like posting in r/trees

[–]OMallyRed 0 points1 point ago

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Repost? Even YOU get an upvote!