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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 441

[–]MisterDasaster 999 points1000 points ago

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Those are Chinese and that was 2 years ago.

[–]godwillkillusall 278 points279 points ago

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Those are MEN.

[–]tagus 125 points126 points ago

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YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS THE COARSIING RIVERRRRR

[–]StabbedAt711 88 points89 points ago

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WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

[–]mhsavage 81 points82 points ago

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WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE

[–]Sloth_speed 155 points156 points ago

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Man I love Aladdin.

[–]Vataro 45 points46 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Informationator 44 points45 points ago

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MYSTERIOUS AS A MAGIC CARPET RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE

[–]AsABlackMan 20 points21 points ago

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UNDER THE SEA!

[–]tagus 2 points3 points ago

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[–]CarthageForever 2 points3 points ago

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THE VOICES. MAKE THEM STOP.

[–]the_lost_soul 9 points10 points ago

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Dude, that's not Aladdin... That's Pocahontas when she's rowing her boat!

[–]Huckster 11 points12 points ago

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Dude, that's not Pocahontas... That's Quasimodo when he's ringing his bell.

[–]jwdrummer21 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, that's not Quasimodo...That's Cinderella when she's trying on the the glass slipper.

[–]robcole84 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, that's not Cinderella... That's everyone's favorite cross-dresser, Mulan!

[–]Colecoman1982 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, wrong Disney bastardization of a cultural myth.

[–]ArianaIncomplete 37 points38 points ago

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MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF...THE MOOOOOON

[–]BracedPolecat 1 point2 points ago

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pink floyd reference right thar if i've ever seen

[–]thastig 23 points24 points ago

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Manly men with balls of Titanium forged in the pits of a VOLCANO. I feel emasculated.

[–]Terr_ 8 points9 points ago

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No, these guys in the picture are different... you're thinking of the ones who lie down on their backs.

[–]jceez 208 points209 points ago

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But Reddit likes Japan and doesn't like China.

[–]HideousInfant 68 points69 points ago

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Japan is more kawai

[–]Spoggerific 33 points34 points ago

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You need two "i"s at the end or it's not even a word. 「かわい」じゃなくて、「かわいい」だよ。

[–]HideousInfant 32 points33 points ago

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I challenge you to a Weeaboo Showdown

[–]mysticalone 11 points12 points ago

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[–]Smorsh 10 points11 points ago

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WEEABOO! WEEABOO!

[–]Spoggerific 8 points9 points ago

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My friend, one does not publicly reveal their Power Level. That would simply be uncouth.

[–]Mr_Big_Stuff 3 points4 points ago

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I'll show you mine if you show me yours

[–]Teekoo 1 point2 points ago

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uguu~

[–]ChalkyTannins 35 points36 points ago

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I can see how one could be confused. The Japanese used Chinese bodies to fill trenches for their tanks to cross over.

[–]ruhlec 47 points48 points ago

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Japan doesn't have an army

[–]dustedrob 45 points46 points ago

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They have gundams and evangelions and what not....

[–]ZenBerzerker 11 points12 points ago

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I wanna be a wattnut pilot! Pew pew pew...

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Don't forget all the magical schoolgirls

[–]Mr_Big_Stuff 3 points4 points ago

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Oh yes... I never forget about them.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_Ground_Self-Defense_Forces

Look at what the components are called. It's an army that is constitutionally bound to be used only for the defense of Japan. Their air force participates in RED FLAG drills with the US.

Pictures

[–]Killroyomega 7 points8 points ago

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If there is anything we learned from watching Ghost in the Shell, it is that they simply don't give a fuck and send out badass mercenaries to do everything.

[–]veritate_valeo 6 points7 points ago

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Japan has the 24th largest army in the world. They have planes, tanks, ballistic missiles, special forces, you name it - and all of the advanced technology you would expect from Japan. The fact that they call it a "Self-Defense Force" and not an "army" does not make it not an army.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JSDF

[–]unconscionable 28 points29 points ago

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How do they protect themselves from scary brown people who ride camels???

[–]golfinry 29 points30 points ago

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They have a 'Self-Defense Force'

[–]Theropissed 3 points4 points ago

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which technically has a ground defense force, which is classified as a self-defense army.

[–]jceez 48 points49 points ago

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With an ocean.

[–]BoonTobias 19 points20 points ago

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Then who protects them from the ocean?

[–]Disco_Drew 59 points60 points ago

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Apparently no one.

[–]Epicwarren 12 points13 points ago

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Ask any Mongol invader, they will probably vouch that the ocean is on Japan's side.

[–]twistertrv 5 points6 points ago

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3 months ago disagrees with you

[–]archerman610 4 points5 points ago

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The U.S Military.

[–]AsABlackMan 1 point2 points ago

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Godzilla.

[–]ENRONburgandy 11 points12 points ago

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Godzilla

[–]sonnuvabitch 5 points6 points ago

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They live on an island and camels can't cross the ocean.

[–]legba 4 points5 points ago

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Huh. You know, that's strange, seeing as they're the 6th country in the world ranked by yearly military expenditures. That's 51 BILLION dollars per year btw.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_military_expenditures

[–]nixons_dog 3 points4 points ago

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They're defense budget must be below a certain percentage of GDP. They have the world's 3rd largest economy so this isn't hard to do.

[–]BrianFlanagan 380 points381 points ago

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FINALLY. An application where planking is useful.

[–]iSmokeTheXS 35 points36 points ago

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A Hipster Planking Team.

[–]interiot 5 points6 points ago

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Hipsters don't form teams. If you put too many hipsters in the same cage, they fight over how unique each of them is.

[–]DrunkInTheTrunk 1 point2 points ago

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Searched for planking. I am not disappoint.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points ago

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"AND HERE COMES THE GENERAL'S TRUCK!"

[–]Bravo9000 13 points14 points ago

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Maybe is not because labor is cheap, but they simply didnt have enough boards at the scene?

[–]PandaBearShenyu 1 point2 points ago

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PLA soldiers: tougher than boards, easier and quicker to deploy on steel cables, and there's a fucking flood about to drown all the children. :)

[–]CrazyBunnyLady 28 points29 points ago

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Putting their life on the line(s).

[–]turtleban 84 points85 points ago

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Wow, so every asian you see is got to be Japanese huh...........do some research before posting stuff like that

[–]fc3s 43 points44 points ago

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It's a very popular western mentality, unfortunately. Everything cool and Asian is automatically Japanese. All hot Asian women are Japanese too, even when their last names are "Chang" and "Nguyen."

[–]Khorib 42 points43 points ago

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It used to be that every Asian was considered Chinese up until about a decade ago.

[–]midri 11 points12 points ago

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I have some WW2 propaganda posters that point out the differences. So... I'd say in the 40s everyone in the states thought they were all japanies...

[–]pakattak 9 points10 points ago

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'japanies'

Spelling error? Or a new racial slur?

[–]midri 2 points3 points ago

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lol spelling error

[–]SulfurBottom 5 points6 points ago

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Can you please post a few pics?

[–]artydecor 21 points22 points ago

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[–]CubemonkeyNYC 2 points3 points ago

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If you're just hearing about this, then...man. There was some serious anti-japanese racism during the war. Google it.

[–]midri 1 point2 points ago

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They're at my parents house, My father has a pretty big collection of WW2 stuff and I've got them locked away in his fireproof vault -- next time I'm there I'll dig them up.

[–]fc3s 4 points5 points ago

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Perhaps in the post-WWII new right days. Things like this come and go, but the Japanese have historically been considered a much stronger and more legitimate power in the eyes of Western nations since the late 19th century.

There's a difference between what we consider "every Asian" to be and "cool Asians" to be. It just so happens that we generally don't consider things to be "Chinese" if they're cool and come from Asia. We assume it to be Japanese because they have furnished us with such goods as Nintendo and Pokemon.

[–]Khorib 3 points4 points ago

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You are certainly right in there being a difference in the way Americans see "everyday Asians" and "cool Asians". Although, every uneducated adult I knew that didn't grow up in the 40s called everything Asian Chinese except for the various electronics and merchandise (Sony, Honda, Toyota, Nintendo, Pokemon). However, any Asian writing, spoken language, accent, physiology (hooded eyelids/black straight hair) and all Asian food (except for sushi) were called Chinese.

Maybe its just the area I live in, which is the Baltimore/D.C. area. My Grandfather, who served in the Korean War, is even guilty of doing this unless he recognizes something as specifically Korean.

[–]fc3s 2 points3 points ago

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Actually, you bring up a really good point that I glossed over. It seems that 1998ish was a turning point where people, things, and ideas started being labeled as "Asian." Perhaps it was the environment in California, perhaps it was rising ethnic awareness.

Here, there is a tendency for non-Asians to attribute the best stuff to the Japanese. Whether that is from their recent track record with quality products and a more Westernized society, I can't be sure.

[–]artydecor 3 points4 points ago

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You want know what's crazy?

That Japanese people were portrayed like this back in the 60s:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLw0D2CxcVI

I thought it would be different so soon after WW2. And it almost seems like the really negative Japanese/Asian stereotypes started to resurface in the 80s when Japan was starting to come back into power.

[–]StLRedditGirl 1 point2 points ago

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I still only get asked if I'm Chinese. When I say no it's follow up by, "Oh. Then what are you?"

[–]meant2live218 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a Chinese guy, and I've been asked if I'm Korean, Filipino, part Navajo, Mexican, and Viet.

Trust; people who didn't grow up around Asians often can't tell us apart.

[–]StLRedditGirl 2 points3 points ago

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I'm Korean. People usually guess Chinese first and when that's wrong they figure I'm Japanese. After that they run out of guesses because they can't think of anything else.

Face Quiz

username / password : reddits / reddit

[–]meant2live218 2 points3 points ago

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Nice find. I'm pretty sure if I gave this quiz to those at my school (USC), most of them would fail miserably.

[–]pakattak 3 points4 points ago

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The worst part is when a Chinese guy shows up in fiction with a Japanese or Korean name.

[–]Wisemanism 9 points10 points ago

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I had a friend who used to think I was black, back when we only met online to play WC3. I'm actually Chinese ಠ_ಠ

[–]viktorbir 5 points6 points ago

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Western mentality? Or US mentality?

Where I live, every East Asian is, by default, Chinese. Quite a good way of having it right about 60% of the times.

[–]easygo 2 points3 points ago

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If you had to guess an Asian person's ethnicity, I would always go with Chinese because no non-Japanese Asian wants to be called Japanese.

[–]fc3s 3 points4 points ago

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Western. Japan has been considered by Europe and America to be..."more than Asian" ever since they started to flex their imperial might in the late 19th century.

It's not so much a "what ethnicity are the majority of Asians here?" But rather, "Japanese are the coolest Asians, so this cool Asian thing must be Japanese."

[–]angrykoreanman 1 point2 points ago

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YEAH SOMETIMES THEY ARE KOREAN!!!

[–]TackyOnBeans 1 point2 points ago

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That's weird, everywhere I go in the US if they're Asian they're Chinese by default.

[–][deleted] 128 points129 points ago

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I feel like most countries would have used boards, you know countries where boards are cheaper than human labor.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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[–]distertastin 27 points28 points ago

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I always knew asians were zerg.

[–]Kupie 2 points3 points ago

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[–]BaqAttaq 5 points6 points ago

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Well when you have an army as big as China's you can afford to use a few as building material...

[–]AstroPhoenix 2 points3 points ago

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Haunts my dreams.

[–]lolmunkies 33 points34 points ago

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Maybe there was no good way to secure the boards to the ropes, or acquire them in a quick enough fashion? It looks like this is a pretty rushed job focused on just getting people out of there.

[–]rdewalt 47 points48 points ago

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Yeah, this doesn't look like a "Lets put something durable up there to last the weekend." It looks more "Lets chuck a dozen cables across, y'all go planking and lets rescue them." Because unlike boards of wood, people can go "Oi, I'm slipping" and grab the cables... or oh perhaps.. swim.

Hey, if someone told me "Can you come help get these kids off this flooding island" and told me that the best way would be to be a human plank over a river for a few minutes? I would sure as hell line up and do my part. Because one day that might be /my/ kid getting saved that way.

[–]stringaline 5 points6 points ago

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i would do my part to. because it's good to save people, and you'd havr an awesome story to tell.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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It really looks like this was needed...

[–]WillFerrel 9 points10 points ago

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Best use of planking yet.

[–]PandaBearShenyu 4 points5 points ago

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That's actually the PLA, and they do this every year when South China gets flooded. Of course, no one in the West broadcasts this as they're supposed to be evil and whatnot.

Wait till you guys see PLA paratroopers dropping into sichuan blind with cloud cover after all the roads into an area was destroyed following the 2008 Earthquakes.

[–]MooNinja 27 points28 points ago

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Great bridge of china....men.....ಠ_ಠ

[–]Philias 17 points18 points ago

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Actually, dude, chinamen is not the preferred nomenclature.

[–]r_slash 6 points7 points ago

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But Actuallydude is OK?

[–]Appleofdisarray 1 point2 points ago

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chinamans?

[–]Byeuji 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Melnorme 3 points4 points ago

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"Hey, that kid grabbed my ass!"

[–]sylkworm 1 point2 points ago

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It's Chinese. The Japanese army would probably have an automatic bridge-building robot that does that shit.

[–]tallandlanky 21 points22 points ago

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How did the collective weight of their balls not collapse that rope bridge?

[–]tmantran 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]artydecor 5 points6 points ago

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Makes sense. If they can pull a truck with their genitals then it's reasonable to assume they can easily hold up a bridge...

[–]channyboy 1 point2 points ago

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WHY?!?!!

[–]iamyourdad 1 point2 points ago

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Because truck nuts.

[–]CommanderAnaximander 10 points11 points ago

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Gotta love how a racist joke against Asians always gets upvotes. Great to know we'll never get any respect, even on the internet.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Gotta love how a racist joke against Asians always gets upvotes. Great to know we'll never get any respect, even on the internet.

[–]WiddlyScuds32 2 points3 points ago

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PLanking, they're doing it right.

[–]wickychalky 2 points3 points ago

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If you're going to crawl across it anyway, I would think you'd have been able to just crawl on those cables. Now if they were tap-dancing across, I could see the need for the broader surface...

[–]chinchillakilla 2 points3 points ago

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I hate all these Planking pictures that people post.

[–]IranRPCV 2 points3 points ago

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I can't believe it hasn't been said after 199 comments:

"Like a bridge over troubled waters, I will lay me down"

[–]Lakario 2 points3 points ago

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This similar to how the Chinese will cross the Atlantic Ocean and invade the United States.

[–]WallOfSoup 2 points3 points ago

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Incredible A photo of the Japanese Chinese army during the floods when a bridge kinda fell apart.

[–]PhantomPhun 2 points3 points ago

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You just KNOW there's a joker somewhere in that line facing UPWARD.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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This picture , is amazing.Sure it may not be Japanese regardless it shows the human race working together to aid those in need.

[–]verbose_gent 2 points3 points ago

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I'd love a higher resolution version of this photo if anyone has one.

[–]Spitfire15 6 points7 points ago

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Asian people= Japanese?

Fucking idiots.

[–]lettersgohere 3 points4 points ago

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It seems like there are more efficient ways of doing that.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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would not work in america if there was a flood around walmart.

[–]iSmokeTheXS 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, it's like that Jacob's Ladder game at county fairs.

[–]black_ranger 1 point2 points ago

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I think this is incredible definite self sacrifice there

[–]TheAmazingRobinHood 1 point2 points ago

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I never knew planking could save a life. But still. Fuck planking.

[–]Froogler 1 point2 points ago

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What does the kid do when he comes to the end of the human bridge? There is still enough gap for him to fall down into the river

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Look at'em, just laying around. Lazy bums!

[–]Steaps 1 point2 points ago

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Bridge team, GO!

[–]rabidredrabbit 1 point2 points ago

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Planking, it saves lives!

[–]myBaDbro 1 point2 points ago

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Planking at its peak.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That looks just as heroic as it looks unnecessarily impracticle.

[–]Atroacious 1 point2 points ago

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In the U.S army's defense our kids weigh three times more then those Chinese kids.

[–]Wookovski 1 point2 points ago

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C'mon, they're just lying there. Now drive a truck over them, then I'll be impressed.

[–]redjimdit 1 point2 points ago

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US Army: "Good luck crossing that bridge, we have to guard this empty building to keep people from looting"

[–]furrybeaver 1 point2 points ago

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finally planking is useful

[–]Zyberst 1 point2 points ago

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Was it engineer division?

[–]Bennie300 1 point2 points ago

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Are they planking?

[–]happypants249 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not really sure why, but this picture moved me.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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They were going to make this into a movie--"Human Suspension Bridge"--it just didn't have the same marketing power as "Human Centipede."

[–]squirrtlesquad 4 points5 points ago

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Respect.

[–]verrtex 6 points7 points ago

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It looks like a Chinese way to do thinks. For example, when China sent the first rocket to the space 10 million Chinese people got hernia.

[–]orivar 5 points6 points ago

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This is what happens when man power is cheaper than more wooden boards to make a proper bridge! ;)

[–]Scramisaur 2 points3 points ago

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I'm sure this was some sort of PR stunt

[–]Pink401k 1 point2 points ago

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Now that's what I call planking.

[–]dghughes 3 points4 points ago

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If they all turned over and each got an erection it would be an instant handrail!

[–]archer13 0 points1 point ago

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A camouflage corduroy road/bridge!

[–]nightboy1 0 points1 point ago

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I know that the picture is not of Japanese soldiers but everyone should really watch the movie, "Letters from Iwo Jima". It's pretty much the movie version of this picture.

[–]DrDragun 0 points1 point ago

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I'm holding my upvote for when they reform into a boat to cross the next river.

[–]dulcifier 0 points1 point ago

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I summon human bridge!

[–]goldentech 0 points1 point ago

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Passing a j back and forth. Gotta get high in case the waters get up again.

[–]EyeofAgamotto 0 points1 point ago

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This is why they will win.

[–]windsinger 0 points1 point ago

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Any man playing grabass spends a night in the Box.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was looking at that for like 30 seconds going wha?? They don't look Japanese.

[–]lookitskelvin 0 points1 point ago

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I bet the OP gets photos in emails like this from his mom

[–]The_narrator101 0 points1 point ago

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I think two of them are having a conversation.

[–]NichaelBluth 0 points1 point ago

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Are we clinging tenaciously to my buttocks?

[–]kenvsryu 0 points1 point ago

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Asian back massage during a time of crisis.

[–]Robstaley 0 points1 point ago

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pssh. if that happened in america we'd just build a bridge over it blow it up and pave a road through the rubble

[–]77d7c587534dc32f83fd 0 points1 point ago

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W...T..F?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Japanese don't have an army?

[–]towlie65 0 points1 point ago

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the Japanese use ..man power?

[–]IAmLaughingMan 0 points1 point ago

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To conquer no bridge, you must first become a bridge. Being a bridge...Like a BAU5

[–]BrotimeAtBrojangles 0 points1 point ago

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Japan doesn't have an army.

[–]rhbast2 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of ants. (In a good way!)

[–]Ninjadoo 0 points1 point ago

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Planking in action.

[–]natepoff 0 points1 point ago

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now THAT is planking

[–]sollysolz 0 points1 point ago

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context? source?

[–]maxhax 0 points1 point ago

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Soldier "Did you just grab my ass?"

[–]campkev 1 point2 points ago

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I'm way over here. How could I have grabbed your ass?

[–]Razormaid 0 points1 point ago

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Planking at its finest.

[–]lodossheros 0 points1 point ago

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i believe it's the fucking PLA

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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OR they could use wood.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That's the longest and narrowest circlejerk I've ever seen.

[–]batgirlnomnom 0 points1 point ago

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Wow amazing.

[–]batgirlnomnom 0 points1 point ago

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Wow amazing.

[–]squeezefun 0 points1 point ago

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Makes me wonder how much less up vote or more down vote can op get if he/she post it with the correct title.

[–]KingGirardeau 0 points1 point ago

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Seems like boards would work better, but who am I to judge?

[–]jayzen 0 points1 point ago

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I thought redditors are smart enough to tell between Chinese and Japanese, but apparently not

[–]BanX 0 points1 point ago

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Does this bridge work fine with high heels?

[–]becausefuck_you 0 points1 point ago

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china, japan, wherever this is... these guys are boss.

[–]Sossip2020 0 points1 point ago

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Planking?

[–]SevenDeadlyNinjas 0 points1 point ago

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In case anyone ever wondered, this is what it looks like when many fucks were given.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Best use of an army I've ever seen.

[–]theeagle1 0 points1 point ago

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Those aren't Japanese regular army uniforms...

[–]Leermayyte 0 points1 point ago

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Who would have thought planking was useful?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Takeshi castle water world

[–]CircuitLogic 0 points1 point ago

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Definitely Chinese! The Japanese are much better engineers than that.

Also, China uses its most abundant resource for building.... CHINESE!

[–]Duke5567 0 points1 point ago

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Planking like a boss!

[–]JamesR8800 0 points1 point ago

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Chinese or japanese that's a badass bridge

[–]MrJesus444 0 points1 point ago

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Hell of a pontoon bridge.

[–]Rasalom 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, so what? When I was in elementary school, I had to lie on the ground and have a big ball made to look like the Earth rolled over me. I had the Earth roll over me. Beat that.

[–]aldenso 0 points1 point ago

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I fail to see how these individuals lack credibility...

[–]ikikstarbucks 0 points1 point ago

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Those troops are bad asses for making that human bridge.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, let's do things in the most incredibly inefficient way possible. You don't have to pay a piece of plywood wages, benefits, or anything else.

[–]NuclearScientist 0 points1 point ago

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Should have used that man power to build a real bridge.

[–]Vulkans 0 points1 point ago

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Ramirez! Lie on that rope and transform into a plank!

[–]Colburnd 0 points1 point ago

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Planking with a purpose